Regulation Podcast - Return of the Fart // Andrews Big Break [168]

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's sneaky farts, being the most family friendly podcast out there, Eric's betrayal, Johnny Mnemonic, Andrew's budding commercial career, The Norm Show, Geoff's new podcast, and bringing Kool-Aid to the lab. Sponsored by Füm http://tryfum.com/FACE. Subscribe to Geoff's new podcast https://link.chtbl.com/soalright. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who do you think will be here first, Gavin or Andrew? Oh, this is weird. Is he doing a bit? I've been talking to Andrew all day, so I don't know where. We were talking on text 15 minutes ago, so I don't know what that is all about. This is clearly intentional. Clearly, right? Yeah.

Maybe he's trying to be more on time than Gavin today. Okay. Since Gavin's always one second early. Okay. Should we like, you want me to like keep an eye on it here? Hang on. Yeah, we probably should. Okay, hang on.

What a weird pleasantry. I mean, not that it's a bad pleasantry. No, I understand. Has it ever been the three of us as pleasantries? No, no. It was weird when it was just me and you. All right, not that it's a bad pleasantry. No, I understand. Has it ever been the three of us as pleasantries? No, no. It was weird when it was just me and you. All right. There's the time.

You can see that? Yeah. Okay. Just making sure. Okay. So I guess that's... Okay. So I guess there wasn't a bit.

Oh, okay. There wasn't... Okay. Okay. Then never mind. Never mind, Andrew. Yes, scratch that. Good to see you.

What? What? Nothing. We're good. Who? We're good. We're good, good, good. You think I'm bidding?

You think I'm doing a bit right now? Uh-oh. We thought good. Who? We're good. We're good. Good. Good. You think I'm bidding? You think I'm doing a bit right now? Oh, we thought you were doing a bit because you were showing up. Now here's the thing. I thought you were doing a bit. Then you came in and I thought you were not doing a bit. And then you said, do you think I'm doing a bit right now?

So I'm going back to yes. Well, you're trying to like cover up like what you're talking about. Like, no, we weren't. No, we weren't.

We were trying to explain it to you're talking about. No, we weren't. No, we weren't. We were trying to explain it to you. Yeah. In fact, the opposite. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, actually. I know, I don't. We were trying to guess what you were going to do, and my suggestion was that you were trying to be more on time than Gavin, since he's always one second early.

No, I was just recording ads. I was trying to get them done before we started. He was early again. Welcome to episode 168. Last time we talked about the poop game. ads i was trying to get them done before we started thank you he was early again well welcome to episode 168 uh last time we talked about uh the poop game we talked about shit shades again we talked about the patent collection talked about gems oh no events talked about mouth tape food poisoning talked about flammable farts um andrew's realization of seasons jeff's morbid american history and the new flavors taste test.

That was all last time. This is episode 168, though, so go ahead. Hello and welcome. God damn it. God damn it. I'm sorry. Go ahead. The floor is yours, Jeff.

Thank you. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, my two very best friends in the world, in no particular order Andrew Panton and Gavin Free now fellas shit I'd like you to do me a favor there please don't tell all my other best friends in the world I said that it would make things awkward no you just have a bunch of best friends you just tell every group they're your best friend pretty much everybody I've ever met is my best friend yeah yeah you got like 35 of them that I've met I think no it's

really I have two two and you're and you're the two I gotta got like 35 of them that I've met, I think. No, it's really easy. I have two. I have two. And you're the two. I gotta say, I feel pretty good that I'm typically below Gavin. I feel like I got top billing this week. I don't know what I did, but I need to maintain this. Well, there's no particular order. Yeah, there's no particular order. I know, but even when that's said, I'm always as typically Gavin than me.

I'm just saying I feel special. I feel lucky today. Can I say something off the jump before we get too far into the podcast? Yeah. Please. I have a bunch of stuff to talk about today, but I have two things I want to make sure we get to. Okay.

I solved a long... I think, and I'll have to present the evidence to you guys and see what you think, but I think I solved a long time face mystery. Really? Like from season two or three maybe. No way. That means

nothing to me, but that's long ago I'm sure. It might cause some frustration I have a feeling there might be some anger involved. And then the second thing is I have I haven't been in the lab. I built a new lab. I'm so far in the lab today. I've got so many, I've got

so much stuff to talk about and show you guys. In addition to like a dumb story, I had a thing I did this morning and yada, yada, yada. So I just want to make sure we get, I'd like to talk about those two things. What do you guys want to talk about? I have, I mean, all sorts of, I have an immediate thing I want to talk to Gavin about.

I'm curious about this. I was thinking about this. So we recently, we recorded our summer of 98 content. We did two pieces of supplemental for it. And I think it was a really great recording, both of them. I had a lot of fun. I walked away from that day like feeling really good. It was a good day.

It was a good day. Would you agree that that was a really good day? Yeah, I feel like you're leading it into something that makes it less of a good day. No, it was a great day. I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page. There was something kind of unique about that day. Do you remember what was unique about it? Anything ringing any bells for you?

What the fuck is he talking about? What about you, Jeff? No, what are you talking about? You don't know what I'm talking about? Can I have a hint? Because I think I can get this. Okay. I'll give you a really on-the-nose hint.

Pleasant trees. We spent the first 25 minutes of that recording day not recording and just talking oh has that yeah we didn't record we didn't immediately record anything we just hung out for like 30 minutes talking about various things having a good time then we moved into the recording i was curious if this experience has changed your view about pleasantries in any way. I didn't notice we were having them. That's how good pleasantries can be. You're not even aware.

You had exceptional pleasantries then. Think about all the penguin stuff. And we talked about Johnny Manziel and all that stuff. All that stuff that's never going to air in an episode ever. No. Well, I think it was recorded. It was pleasantries. It was recorded,'s never going to air in an episode ever. No. Well, I think it was recorded. It was Pleasantries. It was recorded, but you said you didn't want it to come out.

Well, there was a lot of talk about having sex with penguins, but I mean... A lot of talk. It was a lot of talk from one person. The way you said it was like we all were contributing. I don't know. I feel like I got painted into a corner a little bit. If you got painted in,

you were holding the brush. Yeah, it was you. You got painted into a corner. You tried to fuck a penguin out of it. That's for sure. Anyway, I was just curious. I had the realization

after the fact of like, oh, that was, we kind of did like pleasantries for like 25 minutes and Gavin seemed to enjoy himself. I loved it. It was great. I had a good time.

That's great. That's absolutely great. That's a great point, Andrew. I didn't even, I didn't even think about it when we were, I was same as Gavin. I didn't even realize that. I'm not opposed to pleasantries. So no, not at all. I've got a little something just to add to the sort of housekeeping at the beginning of this episode. Um, it's, it's this clip. Are you ready? Yes. I thought, I thought that you had notes that you wanted to get to for the show. For this show? I said that like two episodes ago. I don't know what's going on. The fart was back in last episode.

Episode 166, I think. I don't know if now they're trying to sneak them by me or whether that's an accidental paste again But this fart is really traveling. That's it really The fart you know like in an alien movie when it bleeds and it melts through the floor and it goes through like several levels I feel like that's what that fart is doing. It is just penetrating this far has gone through 18 decks and it's now on the end of my pen. That's so fucking funny Nick Did you know about this?

I did actually know about this. What was your reaction when it happened? How did you react? Well, it made me jump again. Oh, okay. So, Kels, Kelly, who helps edit the show, she was trying to see if she could scare you again. And she succeeded.

She nailed it. Would that have been in if I didn't put the note? No, she marked it. It would be funny if she just randomly put it on the timeline. Yeah, I put a note in the frame I owe thing just in case. I just wrote return of the fart. I kind of like the idea, though, of testing Gavin every week and putting in something that shouldn't be there and see if he notices it. And if he doesn't, it just is in the episode.

Oh, interesting. And like a test to see if they actually do their homework or whatever. Why is this on me? Why? Anyone else listen to these or what? I feel like that's your role. I do ads. You listen. You give notes. I do ads. You listen.

You give notes. I trust your note giving ability. I don't trust my note giving ability. I go to all the boring meetings. That's true. We all pull our weight in different areas. Mm-hmm. I feel good about that.

I listen to seven or eight people a week tell me about face who aren't in face. Oh. That, yeah. I appreciate that a lot, Jeff. Mm lot jeff what are some of the highlights oh dude maybe we'll do a supplemental someday do a sausage talk oh man a sausage talk about what other people feel about the sausage about all the great ideas other people have for my thing yeah it's like a story of my life uh i have a story but i need to like do i just realize i need to adjust it a little bit so someone else wants to take the lead and then i could swing back in i have an important update i have a story that has been unfolding for a little over i'd say like

seven or eight months and it's finally come to conclusion okay and you need some time to put that together i need some time to just because i'm gonna share something and it's the way it's spaced out right now it would look really ugly in our chat okay uh so i am i'm editing that so jeff do you want to tell us about the lab or yeah mystery you saw what do you what do you guys want to do? Where would you like to start? Would you like to start on a positive note with the lab and be kind of fun and irreverent? Or do you want to go potentially

down a dark road with the mystery? I want to go down a dark road. Okay. Okay, I was going to say the opposite. Really? I was saying like we're in a jolly place now and then Jeff typically takes the end of an episode down a dark road.

But if you want to start dark, let's do it. Let's get it out of the way now. Then we'll pull it out. We'll recover. That's my thinking. Do you guys remember a very, very, very long time ago when Variety did an article on The Roost? Yes.

And almost every production, podcast production was mentioned except for the most successful production in the company face. And we felt we felt it was a blaring, glaring omission. And we tried to get to the bottom of whether it was internal to Rooster Teeth or whether it was external to Variety, who who decided to not use us,ided to ignore us and our contributions. And then we got fake mad about it. And then I got really mad about it. And then I realized that getting really mad about it was the whole point of face. And then I thought that was the funniest thing ever.

And I made peace with it because I realized the face worked because it made it so successful that I was mad that it was a face. Well, I stumbled upon something the other day that I think probably answers the question, and I want to see what you guys think. I'm going to throw an image up in the Discord. You guys ready for this? Yes. Oh, I saw this as well, and I talked to Gavin about this.

I think I know who did it. I think it was Eric goddamn Bedore, our producer, who is as seen on Face Jam Mega 64 and Wrestling with the Week, but no f***ing face to be found! Cold out, Eric. The one time Eric's quiet. I'm not really mad, but I saw that and I was like, what the f***, are you f***ing serious? How would you like to be credited?

Any particular way you would like to be billed, like filmmaker or internet personality or from reester teeth? I said, I guess, shut up. As seen on Face Jam, F*** Face, Mega 64, and famously canceled AEW Podcast Wrestling of the Week. If you need to lose the F*** Face one, that's fine. That's the real name of the show, but I understand that people don't want to print that.

Local wrestling is not hardcore enough to swear, is what you're telling me. Dudes that hit each other with chairs wrapped in barbed wire are scared to use a potty word. AAPW is a family-friendly production, Jeffrey. Don't they put pins in their faces and shit? I would argue that F*** Face is the most family-friendly production

you have listed there. It's certainly not Mega64 or Face Jam with Michael Jones. We're fucking, we're like all about building each other up and being nice and sweet and discovering food. No, no, I agree.

Everything you're saying is right. What's, You named the podcast F*** Face. Well, I named it F**K Face. Right, and they didn't want to print that, and I don't blame them. It could be, you know what? That's on them. They don't know what the stars are. It could be Fink Face.

It could be Fook Face. That's fine. That's also on Variety. It's also on Variety, I guess. I'm just saying. I's also on variety. It's also on variety, I guess. I'm just saying. I'm starting to see. What are you starting to see? I'm drawing lines.

I'm drawing lines, too. I got a big whiteboard, and I got pictures of motherfuckers all over it, and I'm Pepe Sylvia-ing it all together right now. There's a whole grand conspiracy, and I'm peeling back the layers of the conspiracy onion and we're going to get to the bottom of it. The problem with Jeff's

whiteboard is wrestlers have like 16 personas, so it's like five of the same guys in 16 different outfits. But none of those personas are allowed to swear. No. See, I had a different reaction to this, Jeff. I didn't view this as Eric's fault at all.

I thought it was very funny that not even independent wrestling is willing to promote our show. That's that's a one. That was my takeaway. I put it in the email and said, list it. And then I said, if you can't, I understand because it's I'll be honest. I feel like you gave them a way too easy out on that. If you'd have just written that without saying it's OK if you don't print this, it would be on there. No, it wouldn't.

There's no way it would be on there. Yeah, I'm with Eric on this. Only one way to find out. Hang on. Only one way to find out? Is that what you said? By not listing it and seeing what happened.

By not giving him the out. So next time Eric gets requested to By not listing it and seeing what happened. By not giving him the out. So next time Eric gets requested to commentate on an independent wrestling show, is it okay if it's this one, Jeff, or does it have to be different? I don't care. Because they may have already set a precedent of not including it, so I feel like it needs to be different. They may not ask again because they already have the information, so if it's a different one, I guess.

I do love that wrestling won't, but an Apple company will. Yes. Cosmic Crisp are more hardcore motherfuckers than a bunch of local wrestlers apparently. That's what I'm finding out. AAPW is an independent wrestling school in Austin. They asked me to do commentary for their show. They said, how do you want to be listed? I gave them face as a thing,

and they didn't list it. It sounds like AAPW are a bunch of pussies and AAPLE are fucking awesome. Ah, poop. Anyway, that's the mystery solved. It was Eric all along. I learned something. Hang on, shut up the mystery solved. It was Eric all along. I learned something. Hang on, shut up.

Hang on. How is that on me? How is the variety thing on me at all? Well, I assume that you said the same thing to variety. You assume that I talk to variety? You talk to wrestling? Do you think those are the same thing? Uh,

I mean, are you not allowed to talk to both? You can. I don't think if I emailed variety, they would email me back. Hmm. You'd be surprised. Okay.

Now it's sounding like this was Andrew's doing. No, I just, I've emailed a lot of people and I often don't expect replies with the fucking Jane Goodall Society replied to me. I'm just saying you'll be surprised what happens. Either way the variety thing was not me. I just want

that to be known. Okay. Well, I'll put a pin in it on the whiteboard and we'll keep looking. How many pins does the whiteboard currently have? I have to invent it and then build it and then take a picture of it i don't have time to do that in the next 30 seconds it's got to be in that order yeah this is another little tidying up thing i learned something that uh i

thought was more recent than it was but i was talking the other day about the rats the rat meat that plays doom and all that and how it's called uh wetware yeah right i bought a movie that i'd never seen because i was interested in seeing it um johnny mnemonic right oh yeah his job courier his package 320 gigabytes of stolen data wetwired directly into his brain his name johnny and then i was looking up wetware been around for decades century like the 60s or something, right? Crazy. Dude, I love that you, I love how you chose to describe, I bought a movie because I'd never seen it

and I wanted to see it. I was feeling, because the thing wouldn't paste into Discord. I was adding fluff. It was like a real progress bar sentence there. I'm sorry about that. Have you ever bought a movie because you didn't want to see it? So what the fuck

is this? Yes, actually, I bought Citizen Kane. I did not enjoy... I had no intention of actually watching it. I thought I should have it because when I might want to watch it, I didn't actually want to watch it. I did watch it. when I might want to watch it didn't actually want to watch it Did I did watch it? Yeah phenomenal film? Oh? Is it did you will yeah? Have you seen the movie about the making of Citizen Kane? No Gary Oldman?

No, you seen that one. Oh, maybe you should start there For your well, I started with the movie. Oh you saw it. I missed that part. Yeah, you weren't gonna see it Okay, I was like I can see why it was ahead of its time and why it pioneered so much. But I think as a movie in today's world, it's a bit of a snoozer. Wouldn't be in your top 10 for that year? No. For that year? Yeah, for sure.

For this year? No. For the summer of 98? No. So what you're saying is a movie that was made almost 100 years ago can't hold up to Johnny Mnemonic now? I mean. There was no wetware in it so no fair enough it hadn't been invented doesn't that isn't like the i haven't seen johnny mnemonic in a long time these are the things i remember about it the best representation of how to use the internet i've ever seen any movie did you

watch this gavin have you seen it okay not okay great internet usage and i think there's there's a dolphin that can browse the web or is like the the the intelligence agency essentially okay that's taking wetware to the next level well dude there was that there was that george c scott movie we talked about watching day of the dolphin where they were training dolphins to kill people oh yeah that's true So there's precedent there. There is, yeah. There's an establishment. There it is! Look at that tech dolphin on the internet.

You gotta watch out for those dolphins. Oh, Jesus. So I have a thing I could share. At the end of a story. A saga. At least I believe it's over. It might not be over. Around seven or eight months ago, I feel comfortable. I haven't been told I can't talk about this. I'm assuming I could talk about it.

That's how seven or eight months ago I got reached out to by someone at the company saying that they were filming a podcast commercial and they wanted me to be in it and Jeff and Eric you guys are part of this as well uh they asked they reached out they said hey we want you to be in this commercial what would your rate be like what would what would you want to be in this commercial which is something that I've never been asked before I didn't know how to approach it I've never done anything like that uh in any context I was like well what what should i ask for and then it becomes a question of well if i don't know anything what

why don't i just ask for like the silliest thing i could ask for and just see what happens so my response to them saying like what would you want in exchange for being in this commercial was i said that i would gladly do it free of charge but i would want one percent of all profits from any anal merchandise sales in the year 2023 that was my one demand i want a one percent and i didn't think i'd get it but i thought i might as well ask and just see what happens and so i asked and i i waited patiently and they replied i would need to talk to somebody else about this. Is that what you really want? And the answer to that was absolutely.

Because I want we get multiple departments involved in this. Try to figure out if I can earn one percent of anal profit. I'm all about it. That's right. These are real people doing real people jobs. I know. That's what makes it so funny. There's a real person meeting with real...

No, but that's what makes it really funny. Yeah, fuck. What do I care? You have fun, buddy. I'm having fun. I'm having a great time. So then... And I'm not going to push for it.

I'm not going to be difficult. I just figured I'd ask and see what happens. If I could get it, I would love to have that. That'd be a great thing to have. And so it was our number one selling shirt. The year it came out, a lot of profit, potentially 1%.

The old annual passage. Yeah. The old annual passage. So they said they, we need to talk to someone. I replied. Yeah, it sounds great.

Let me know. Then they replied, we wouldn't, we would rather not do that. How does X amount of dollars sound for doing this? And I said, fantastic. That sounds great. great thank you i'm in whatever you need let me know then this went dark for quite a few months for a long time and i just assumed that either it was dropped or maybe after my anal shenanigans they had decided to move on without me however during that time i know jeff and eric filmed part

of the commercial and they mentioned that they left they left a section for me in it and i could just kind of improvise whatever i wanted to in the thing so that was the last i heard for it for quite a while then at the start of this week it finally came back up again i got reached out to again they said hey did we ever send you the paperwork for getting paid for this? Which they hadn't. We figured all that out. They're like, we'll send you a link of the commercial and you can see where your part is and you just like improvise.

Send us some lines. And as long as we haven't come out yet, it hasn't come out yet. No, I just recorded lines for it this week. Dude, I'm so excited to hear where this is going because i have no fucking clue what this commercial is or that or what i what are you talking about we shot it i don't remember you and eric i shoot we shoot lots of stuff i i just don't know what this is right but it was a specific thing for a podcast commercial so i'll i'll describe it so and let's see if you remember the commercial I get sent the commercial and it's you you and Eric sitting

in a dugout with BK oh yeah yeah okay yeah that was like March yeah it was a long time ago yep it was quite a bit so they send it to me and they say this is your this is the 22 seconds is when you need to do

your thing so you guys are going back and forth about you guys are saying that like Jeff could get concussed by a peeled orange thrown by Eric. And then Eric says, you know, Andrew, like you could do this right. And I have like one second to fill. Essentially, it's my contribution. There's like a one second pause and then it just moves on. So I was instructed they wanted a variety of takes so i wrote out as many as many takes as i could think of of things that i thought could be funny

for my one second and i may have went slightly overboard but they said that i would only get paid if i accommodated a variety of takes so i'm'm going to paste into our chat. I wrote 75 different versions of what could be said, and then I ad-libbed some additional ones. They're never going to work with you again. This is insane. There's no way they said you wouldn't get

paid if you didn't give them a variety of takes. They did! Like Wes is going, you better give me 60 plus takes. Give me the takes. I, you better give me 60 plus takes. Give me the takes. They didn't. I'll fucking give me a second. He always has his receipts.

I didn't expect to get called out for this. Give me a second. Let me get my receipts out. I was told that unless I met the variety of takes that. It's a very variety heavy episode by the way we're talking about variety segment to segment

this is really a lot so is Stanley Kubrick directing this trailer and I just wasn't aware of it I I wasn't aware of I don't know who directed it

it's pretty close right yeah okay I'm going to send you I'm uh saving this I'm screenshotting it sorry for having to fail

I just I didn't expect as an honorable man to have my integrity questioned. And who are you interacting with? Nobody's questioning your integrity. It just seems like a harsh thing to say. Second, make sure the paperwork comes through this

week and is signed on your end. Your payment will get processed on our end after Monday assuming we receive the take variations needed. Hope that works for you. That's a really different phrasing for what he does. Very different. Yeah, to me it's the same. They've given you, like, we want these variants

and been specific about these variants. No, they said I could just add whatever I wanted and they wanted a variety of texts. So you did 75, what are the 75? So I'm going to post them in our chat right now. Why even post them? Can't you just do it and take up 75 seconds? No, no, no, no, no, no. What was the lead-in sentence again? post them in our chat right now. Why even post them? Can't you just do it and take up 75 seconds of this podcast?

What was the lead-in sentence again? We need you to do all 75 real fast. Listen, I've recorded this already and submitted it. If you can't accommodate the need for us to hear all 75 takes, then I don't know if your payment will be coming this week. Maybe we can throw it into the end of this episode

or as a supplemental in itself. It's 19 and a half minutes long. Oh, God. We just need you to do one second. For 75 one-second takes? That should take, like, 88 seconds. Well, no, because I did variations of each take. But we don't need you to do that here.

I did different stylings. We just need you to do one of each. You want us to put 19 minutes of takes at the end of this episode? No. What? I'm just saying. It's just an option.

Dude, do the list and I'll do the fucking takes. Oh, it. What? I'm just saying. It's just an option. Dude, do the list and I'll do the fucking takes. Oh, it's too... I tried to paste it. It said the character limit is too long. It's too powerful. Your 75 lines are too powerful.

Let's delete this. Okay, so I'm going to send the first half and then I'll send the back half. Oh my God. There you go. Oh my God. Each one is a different line.

So what was the lead-in line for you? What are you responding to? It was something like, you could do this, right? Or something like that. Oh, so the first line is, of course I could. Yeah, and then-

One of the lines is, let's play. Let's go round robin. Let's go Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, Eric. Of course I could. Ah! Then Eric. Oh, I thought it was Andrew. I'm sorry we'll just keep going. Of course I could. Ah! Then Eric. Oh, I thought it was Andrew.

I'm sorry. Oranges taste good. One sec. I'll have a side of pencils. Well, it was supposed to be Andrew. Y'all ever think about chili dogs? Grown tube noises. With burger confidence, anything's possible.

You're both idiots. The kickings were a legend. There's a snake in my boot. That's right. You could kill someone with a Mandarin. Let's play. You're wasting my bits. When are y'all picking me up from the survive Black Island?

Don't drink the Bovril. The Tigers have the ball with iced up ears. You're done. How is it not a finite pool? Oh, fuck. Sorry. Anyway, it goes on. It's ridiculous.

Forever. Oh, wow. How are you going to fit some of these into one second? There's one that says, is this Anma? Dude, there's one that says, you know, this reminds me of the time my great uncle Sebastian went fishing down at Oak Bay. It was a hot day, not in temperature, but feel. How are you going to say that in one second?

Epstein was killed. I can take you out with a grape. Let the dogs out the ones that are not creative are so fucking funny to me it's just you wrote down a thing you know no it was these are all things they played on my head that would make me laugh if that was what they went with they're so funny man these are so funny how much so i don't get fined it's my first pick in the concussion draft. I hope that you hit the ones that they wanted right in the middle of a list. Holy shit.

I submitted my 19 and a half minute recording of doing all these different takes and sent it off, and they said great. Thank you. We'll forward it to the editor Let me know if there's any issues or anything and that's where we left off so immediately that thinking why wouldn't this attach to an email Wait, how big is this? Andrew I fulfilled my obligation to the commercial. I'm excited to see what they go with Andrew You are the funniest person, man. You're a psychopath. There is nobody

like you. They're really, you are, goddamn, man. You are some kind of brilliant genius in some ways. Only if it's thrown through an anal passage first. Me? No, but Johnny Caviar, without a doubt.

I would never do this to another person. The editor's going to be scrolling through. Does rice pudding have rice in it? What on earth? I'm with you, Gooch Pooch. Well, that's because Eric says, see, he knows. And I thought that'd be funny because he hates Gooch Pooch. I'd knock him back to 98.

That's a good one. Oh, man. It's starting to get tough be funny, because he hates Goose Goose. I'd knock him back to 98. That's a good one. Oh, man. It's starting to get tough near the end, trying to come up with things. I'm struggling. I wanted it 75, though. Those go towards your 20,000 things. Oh, it does, yeah. That's also incredibly difficult to write.

What you've given them there is like a starter pack of being able to insert you into every production for the next five years. They've got every single possible thing that they might want you to say. They need to hire you for four more commercials, and then they're you. They can make you say anything. Yeah. That's fine. I had fun.

Anyway, I hope they enjoyed it. We'll find out about that. I messaged Eric about this, saying, I have a thing. It could be supplemental in some way, but I think a department might hate me. And then I just did it. Really? I'm just,

I'm just impressed. I'm really impressed. 19 minutes. The most dangerous thing we could give Andrew isn't weaponry or anything. It's just time. It's time and freedom. Time and ambiguity. What,

what do you think the odds are that whoever's editing it dan or whoever picks the first line of course i could plugs it in and never listens oh yeah 100 it's like it's gonna be absolutely it's gonna be jake and he's gonna go i mean that's fine what am i gonna what am i gonna use the desk dogs are burning the fire is everywhere for the love of god help me no what was fun about that is they were testing the fire alarms in our building on that day so i was able to utilize the fire alarms going off that's awesome so you brought sound effects yeah foley i wanted to i wanted to it didn't end up working out but that was that was my hope it wasn't as constant as i thought it would be for them testing. That's fucking brilliant.

Yeah, so that was my week, or part of my week. It was a lot of fun. Good work. Yeah. I'll send it to you guys, I guess, if you want to hear the audio. Yeah, please.

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That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Why did you ask me how long my longest arm is? Oh, yeah. Fuck. I forgot about that.

I brought my measurements. Did you do your measurements? Did brought my do i brought my measurements did you do your measurements did you do your measurements gavin did you do your measurements i've got a tape measure i was just gonna measure shall i measure now oh sure go ahead i'm like the center of your armpit like where your arm completely forgot about this is this is kind of a not a monumental thought or anything i was just i was looking at my arms, and I'm like 5'9.5-ish in height. I'm pretty close to 5'10, not quite 5'10. And I was thinking if my arms were shorter, but

I was taller, I would absolutely made that trade. So I was going to measure my arms and decide how... I was curious how much of your arms you guys would give up for additional leg height. Because I feel like I could have half the length of my arm oh and still be pretty okay i'm a around 26 27 inch um wow what are you i have no idea i

forgot to do this homework oh my god i feel so bad i completely forgot listen i've had a busy week writing 75 takes it slipped my mind absolutely that's why i just asked i i was wondering we we can table it and come back next week with it sure why don't we come back next week i uh i have one other i have one main other thing i'd like to add and then jeff it could be yeah all yours it was my birthday last week um and and first of all i just want to say that the community and some of my friends put together a video wishing me a happy birthday that was incredibly sweet i appreciate it so much it was really kind uh some some of our wonderful members of the community made a little

video my friends edited together and organized it so that was awesome it's weird that it wasn't at the same time as it was um in survive block island yeah i like to celebrate multiple days. That was awesome. Time moves differently on Block Island, Gavin. Yeah. And then Gavin and I were playing games a few weeks ago, and we were talking about, I had just seen Dirty Work for the first time, which, as we've talked about before,

Norm MacDonald, a huge comedic influence for both Jeff and I. We love him. And Dirty Work was sort of one of those things we've talked about where I I figured it would always be pretty accessible so I kind of avoided watching it because I've seen so much norm content it makes me happy to know that I have something out there to enjoy whenever I want to or feel like I need to and I was talking to Gavin about uh we're playing a game that one of my great regrets in terms of buying things,

like not a real regret, but just like, oh, that would, I should have done that, was there was a time, I was on Staples website for some reason, looking for something,

and I searched it, and what I wanted didn't come up, but the Norm Show DVD did, and it was $19.99, and I was like, holy shit, that's, I didn't even,

okay, I didn't know that was a thing I could buy, that's awesome, but it was at a time where it's like, shit that's I didn't even okay I didn't know that was a thing I could buy that's awesome but it was at a time where it's like I really can't I need that 1999 right now I can't buy this but maybe I'll go down the road I'll pick it up um and then I didn't and then when I went to it was gone to which I then learned that the norm show dvd is like super rare it is a very collectible thing you you can find them online for anywhere between like 200 to like 500 for this this box set and there's not many available to buy online so i was

talking to gavin about that um we're playing games and then i got a birthday gift arrived yesterday from gavin that was incredibly sweet as i was mentioning when we're playing how much uh of a regret that was that I didn't buy it and just how uh how much I wish I did and just how you know Gavin knows so much like Norm that was my gift from Gavin which was super kind he got me the Norm show that's on DVD yeah that's so sweet I was so happy thank you Gavin it was such a wonderful gift oh I'm glad you like it That's for your next yeah birthdays. Yeah, that was very kind. It was just a wonderful thing however

that evening after Talking to Gavin about it and you know just just being really passionate sharing like oh how much I regret it and how much I wish I had it I thought my birthday is coming up. And you know what? It's a lot of money. I had a feeling this would be happening. I'm going to treat myself in a way I typically don't.

So my gift for myself was a copy of the Norm show. We've got, we've incited it again. You, it was the i i didn't want to share this because it is such a thoughtful gift and i didn't want you to feel it was diminished in any way but after the boberton vinyl we bobertoned it wow you bobertoned it again so now and this is not a complaint i love the fact that i have two of these oh but in in the matter of several days and four i went from wanting this thing for years to within a four day window owning two copies of it oh god it was i wonder how many of those dvds are left on this earth uh and what percentage it when i i knew something was coming because you're like i can't wait to talk about it on the

episode and i was just thinking i don't really think like that's not like funny content or any and then i was like okay there's okay. There's something coming. Yeah. Well, I felt conflicted because I wanted your reaction in the episode, but I also like, I don't know. I felt weird to withhold. But I had a good laugh looking at that and being like, of course. So did you already have yours when you opened mine? Yes.

Yes, I did. I got it like four days prior, maybe even less, maybe like three days ago. I opened mine. It was like, oh, it arrived. And then I got yours. I immediately went to eBay. I was like, what? I think I figured out which one you got. And I know which one I got. There were like five or six bought.

I'm assuming you got on eBay within a time period. And I was like, oh, I didn't. There were certain things where I could differentiate. I was like, I really hope you didn't get this one because it the prices range quite a bit on it. So that's that's so funny because you told me after you bought yourself the DVD, you were like, I bought myself a birthday present. And I was like, that's fucking brilliant.

Now we talked about like, I want to know how the show is because I have I've only I only caught like two episodes live when it was on TV so I don't really know much about it and when you're retelling the story I'm like I don't remember him I'm pretty sure he said he bought it that was another factor in my head I wanted your reaction

as well but I was like I already talked to him about this maybe I just like I thought about texting you ahead of time of like don't reveal it if I'm saying it or like make a correction so I want Gavin to be like I want that moment but yeah I just assumed you would have the reaction you did of like I don't I don't remember it going this way when we talked about it yeah I just figured you'd be explaining yeah so we both burned it thank you Gavin that was a wonderful gift and I'm so happy I have two. I view it as in like I had zero diamonds a week

ago and now I have two diamonds. There you go. There you go. You do. You have two shiny glistening 18 carat diamonds right there in front of you. Maybe if you hold on to them in 10 years, they'll be even worth even more. Oh, that's true. I could keep mine

sealed. Yeah. In mint condition and uh watch the other it's a great point oh hey i know something that we should mention uh that struck me the other day um we're talking about old lore you know we mentioned uh we mentioned the uh the variety article and eric sandbagging us and stuff. Here's another one that just happened. I'm going to officially declare, and Gavin, I think you'll back me up on this. I'm going to officially declare that climate change has beaten our curse. Yep, I would agree.

Gavin and I have been hanging out a few times and the weather has been gorgeous. We went swimming on the weekend, not a cloud in the sky. I think not even the curse could withstand carbon emissions. Really? I think we could potentially bring this temperature down

if we just kept making plans, though. Like, eventually it's going to get us. Maybe, yeah. Well, we'll see. I don't know. But I feel pretty good about it right now. What are you doing this weekend? Hanging out with you, I hope. Let's do it. Let's go swimming. Yeah. Well, we'll see. I don't know. But I feel pretty good about it right now. What are you doing this weekend? Hanging out with you.

Oh, let's do it. Let's go swimming. Absolutely. Hey, if we're if we're talking about stuff before we get into like the next thing, this comes out on Nick. The exact date would be what? Like the 23rd, 22nd, 23rd. So this will be a week before jeff's new podcast launches

oh you have a podcast coming out at the end of this month see eric this is why i love you and why i think you're the best and why i don't even care about the variety thing because you're such a fantastic producer you know who did the variety thing and it is not me and it and it confirms everything you yeah yeah yeah for the record for the record, but let me nip this in the bud. That was all a joke. Audiences, do not be mad at Eric for any of that. I was absolutely kidding. Oh, you fucking are mad at me.

No, no, I know, but you don't need it. You don't need the aggravation. I know you don't care, but you don't need it. It absolutely wasn't Eric. That was just for comedy. I know, I'm pretty sure I know who kept us out of that article. I do too.

I want to know. your new podcast comes out and it's just yeah it's not it won't be on the face feed it'll have its own rss feed um but we maybe we'll put the first episode up nick had a really good idea put the first episode up on the face feed maybe i think we need to vote on that okay hey you know what gavin gavin you're right and let me say this myself gracie and nick we we abstain because this is your guys's show as i've said many times this is andrew jeff and gavin so i want you guys to take a vote should the first episode of jeff's new podcast so all right which is the name of the podcast so dot dot dot all right name of the podcast should so alright episode one go up on the face feed

well obviously I'm voting no over to Andrew sorry what are we voting on did I not just super clear say exactly this is what happened we're talking about Jeff's podcast and my brain which is not a face thing I don't think

it's under the f*** face umbrella it's in the f*** face universe it's just not a comedy it's not necessarily a comedy podcast but it exists and I'm good yeah okay so Andrew votes yes and Jeff up to you f*** deciding vote because

now here's the thing you can do something to help make your podcast very successful or you can do the funniest thing right now yeah I'm gonna say I guess I gotta say no that would be funnier right that would be way funnier

this is my own podcast which I don't want to fail can I think about it No, but this isn't face. This is my own podcast, which I don't want to fail. Right. Can we, Eric, can I think about it? Could we vote if Jeff's podcast is in a different show's feed? Well, I mean, it will be in a different show's feed because it has it will have its own feed. I really do want this podcast to do well, though. I would I would hate.

Well, this is pretty good for it. Failure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the point was to try to get people to I would hate for it to be a huge failure. Yeah. I mean, the point was to try to get people to at least know about it, and this is going on much, much longer than I anticipated. Yeah, I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say no. Fuck! I don't know! Nick, how are you feeling about

the two-to-one no vote? Feeling pretty good. Okay, well, if Nick's happy then we're fine. No, that's not, no. Yeah. Nick doesn't want it here and he feels really happy about it.

No! He just fucking said it. I was a little bit surprised to be stabbed in the back by Nick but I guess he didn't, I guess he stabbed me in the face not the back so I appreciate that.

And now we know who did the variety sabotage. Nick, you son of a bitch. Very unregulation. Very non-regulation, Nick. Oh, man. Yeah, maybe check that podcast out if you want.

It's just me. It's just me. I'm talking about shit that's maybe not as funny. I don't know. I found this picture the other day. Oh, my God. It's me with Caleb on my back and on Caleb's back

is your cousin Chris dude that's at Bangers right? oh it is that's Rainy yeah that's Rainy Street we're getting lunch at Bangers that must have been like 2014 or something 15? that was such a fun time that's when you and Chris used to wrestle a lot

was this before or after you got bit on the tummy? This is probably after. Yeah, that's why he's smiling. If you'd have said that at one point I was giving Caleb a piggyback, I'd be like, what are you talking about? There's no memory of that whatsoever.

I feel like a lot of the stuff, I feel like maybe every time I hung out with Caleb, he sort of erased my memory. I feel like I've hung out with him so many times, I just don't remember any of the details of any of it. It's so weird to see this world collide. My best friend, my favorite family member,

and the closest, I mean, just, I can't say enough good things about my cousin, and then Caleb. Wow. Caleb's great Caleb is I love Caleb I fucking love Caleb I hired him he worked for me for years that's true

that's fucked off what am I supposed to do can't give a dude a piggyback ride if he's on the other side of the country um yeah that's true um technically yeah are you Can't give a dude a piggyback ride if he's on the other side of the country. Um, yeah. That's true. Technically, yeah. Are you?

Go ahead. It's your show, baby. Go for it. You go. I vote no. Okay. I was going to say, we are getting close. We're not getting, like, two time, but by the time we get through this and everything.

Oh, you're going to end the show? No. Oh. Hang on. we're not getting like two time but by the time we get through this and everything oh you're gonna end the show no oh hang on i want to make sure that it's our show i want to know what jeff was doing in the lab because it seemed like he had a lot of lab stuff or something oh yeah that's true so i don't know where we wanted to go but i wanted to make sure if that was teased we should well i got it if i'm guessing pay it off i gotta get to it today because i can't i can't wait a week it won't keep uh so you know we have been talking about uh for the last couple weeks about fruit combinations and i'm the one that brought the idea of trying uh like uncommon fruit combinations to try to find to unlock some sort of flavor explosion that people just don't know about yet, right?

Thought that'd be a great exercise for us to use our inventor and creative skills and really focus it on something that could really benefit all of mankind, I think. And so, Andrew, you immediately got in the lab and I was blown away by the work that you did and emboldened by it and honestly I was a little maybe a

little oh I don't know inspired no more like yeah kind of in awe you know a little less certain of myself after watching the solid work you did and so I needed a little bit of time to work through some mental roadblocks.

And the initial goal was to combine lemon and grape. I did a precursor research over the internet and found nothing. Then we talked about it. The community hit me up and let me know that there is such a thing. There is a grape lemon product out

there that no longer exists, but was very popular back in the day. It was from the 80s or the 90s, and it was this. I'm going to put it in the... It was called Purple Soros Rex. It was a flavor of Kool-Aid that combined grape and lemonade. And supposedly, everything I've read, they say it was the... Eric remembers it.

They say it was the best Eric remembers it, they say it was the best flavor of Kool-Aid ever made. I totally forgot about this. I never heard of it. It was so good. Yeah. It's weird that if it was as good as everybody in the internet says that they would cancel it or discontinue it.

But anyway, I looked around for it. It showed up a little while ago in like a retro thing but it's gone it's not on the shelves so i did a little bit of work and i discovered that uh i apologize for this sideward pick but you're just gonna have to sideways pick you're just gonna fucking deal with it uh so here we here's what we have come on i found on the internet some people that said here's how you can make your own Purple Source Rex. So they say you buy, you buy, hold on, you buy, I know,

I know, look at that. Apparently you buy a packet of lemonade Kool-Aid and a packet of grape Kool-Aid and then you combine them with sugar and the appropriate amount of water in a pitcher and then they say it's essentially Purple Source Rex. And so here I am thinking,

I can't invent or I can't improve upon this unless I test the, the OG flavor game recognizes game. Right. Uh, so I, I need to whip up a pitcher of purple source Rex, went to the store,

bottle the ingredients, came home. I don't own a pitcher. Turns out, didn't know that. Uh, so I did the next best thing. I put it in a giant bowl.

I mixed up a bunch of purple source Rex and I put it in a giant bowl. I mixed up a bunch of Purple Source Rex and I put it in a giant bowl. It has been cooling in my fridge. No, it's just a big metal bowl. It's not a dog bowl. It's round. I know it looks like a dog bowl, but it's not. And so I've got it in there.

I haven't had a drop of it yet. I don't know. I wanted my first experience to be with y'all. But I wasn't done there. That's not enough for me. It really looks like you've done all this prep on the wall, by the way, just from the orange. Yeah, I know. It does. I apologize. It's only That's not enough for me. It really looks like you've done all this prep on the wall, by the way, just from the orientation.

Yeah, I know. It does. I apologize. It's only going to get worse, probably. Okay. You know how I roll. Then I was at breakfast this morning talking with Trevor from the day job,

and I was explaining to him this process and an idea I had for another, which we'll get to. It's the third thing. I made three we'll get to is the third thing. I made three things today. It's the third thing I made. And I was talking to him about how kind of bummed I am that, you know, I couldn't really invent something that already existed, right?

At best, I could rediscover something that had been previously discovered, which is important in its own right. And then we can shine light on it. And if Purple Source Rex is as good as they say it is, then we can shout it from the rafters and we can give it we could give it cosmic crisp kind of attention if we wanted to but I still wanted to crack I wanted to own something some kind of

some kind of new I wanted to I want to break new ground in some way and I was talking about how I really felt like it it's it's like the it's in the grapes there's something in the grapes that needs to come out that needs to be discovered and Trevor said what about a suicide? And I thought, what do you mean?

He goes, what if you got every kind of grape you could find and put them all into one drink? A suicide, right? Like you used to do when you were a kid, when you would go to like the 7-Eleven and you would get a Big Gulp and you'd put every flavor of soda in it once. Yeah, in America,

we used to call it a suicide when I was a kid. Maybe they don't do that anymore. And so I went, and I bought six different kinds of grapes. I went to two grocery stores. I bought every different kind of grape I could find, and then I combined them with a little bit of ice, and I created a grape suicide.

Is one of them cotton candy? No, Nick, they didn't have cotton candy anywhere. I looked for it. I couldn't find it. Maybe it's out of season or something. So I created, and I'll show you that in a second too, I created a grape suicide, which I want to try. But then, not to be, you got to do things in odds, right?

Like evens don't work. When you invent something, you need to invent it in ones or threes. So, I took that idea and I thought, instead of trying to find unexpected combinations between, like, a banana and a kumquat or, you know, or whatever, what nobody's

really doing is nobody's creating the Noah's Ark of fruit drinks. Nobody's taking every single fruit on Earth and combining it into one. Kind of like a kind of like a that almost made. Yeah, Noah's Ark was like an orgy of animals. But Noah's Ark, they collected two of every animal, right? Mix the giraffe with that cat.

I got to see what we get out of this. To a point. I'm obviously not saying they put all the animals in a blender, but I'm saying I collected two of every fruit. Or actually, in my case, one of every fruit.

And this is what that looked like. Oh my God. So what you've got right there is blueberries, pears, lemons, raspberries, strawberries, cherries, blackberries, watermelon, mango, six different kinds of grape, two different kinds of peaches, two different kinds of nectarines, two different kinds of plums. You've got multiple kinds of melons.

You've got apples. You've got a cosmic crisp right there in the front. You've got lemon. Six cherries. You've got lime. You've got multiple kinds of melons. You've got apples. You've got a Cosmic Crisp right there in the front. You've got lemon. Six cherries. You've got lime. You've got oranges. You've got all kinds of stuff. There's actually more cherries than there's frozen cherries in the back, too.

You got banana. You got every kind of fruit I could find, right? And I put all those together. And I'm trying to decide. I was thinking Fruit of the Doom or Doom of the Loom could be a good title for it. This is what it looks like. I like Doom of the Loom. Doom of the Loom, right?

This is what it looks like in the blender. That's just, that's packed with goodness. By the way, I did a little bit of reading on this. There are some fruits you should not combine. And all of those fruits are combined in this. Yeah, they say that like- There are some, yeah, well, no, not curdle, but there's like non-acidic fruits

and acidic fruits when combined can cause digestive issues and like acid reflux and stuff. So I wouldn't necessarily recommend this. But if you want to know what it looks like to combine almost to the cent, $100 worth of fruit into one drink, this is it. It's the most expensive smoothie. You're not going to need any more vitamin C for a year. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I won't. So on the left, we have Purple Source Rex Redux.

In the middle, we have Grape Suicide. And on the right, we have Doom of the Loom. I now, I have not tasted any of this. It's just sitting in my fridge right now. If you'll give me a second, I'll go grab them. Please. And then I'll do a live taste test right now. In your blender picture, the Alexa is asking a very serious question what is

your question are you smarter i think the answer is clearly no i'll be right okay go get it all right uh hey while he's doing that can we any, any thoughts on which is going to be the best and which is going to be the worst? I think the grape mix is going to be pretty good. Oh, you're saying the grape suicide is the best one? I think it'll be pretty good, yeah. I don't ever want to, I feel like I never want to drink a grape. I just, that's not the right format for a grape. I think that's going to be the worst.

I think me and Nick are on the same page. I think Jeff is white trash enough to love this Kool-Aid he's about to slam. I think he's going to taste this and he's going to go, oh, it's going to be like a lot of sugar and that's what he wants. We all agree that the all fruit one is going to be the worst, right? Tip of the loom. I hope it's the best because it's so inconvenient to make. Like, what if that's his favorite drink? He just always craves $100 smoothie.

It's a $100 smoothie is his favorite one. She got, like, the million dollar smoothie. Okay, so, first off, out the gate, I'm a little worried the grape, the grape of suicide seems to have separated liquid from goop. Oh, no! I mean, you should definitely get the goop

out of there you shouldn't oh just give it a mix give it a stir yeah give it a nice little stir i'm gonna go i'm gonna start at the beginning i'm gonna start with the og i'm gonna start with the purple source rex which by the way i'd like to say uh i basically what i did here is i took inspiration from jurassic park i did some dino dna and i i went to the 80s and I found the amber of a brilliant drink and I brought it back into our time and I recreated it. And much like, you know, that dude in the thing.

Let me try it right now. Do you have a webcam? Yeah, you want one? Yeah. Also, the Jurassic Park analogy, if we follow through that, it kills you. You die. I mean, I wasn't, Andrew,

I was going to let him go all the way down that road. I see what you're saying. Yeah, that's fine. I understand that it kills me, but I don I wasn't Andrew I was gonna like let him go all the way down that like I see what you're saying yeah that's fine I understand that it kills me but I don't know that this won't kill me the Hammond didn't die though did he no Hammond did not die did he in the book he did no we're not in that movie I mean he's dead by now he's very old then all right so here we go this is uh this is a homebrewrewed PurpleSorcererX Redux. We're looking at the face. Oh, it's going in. Judgment.

I saw it go up the straw. Oh, he's got quite a big sip. Oh, that looks good. It looks like he loves this. Oh, he's going in for a second. He's going to finish this, I think. I told you. Dude, he's demolished it. I fucking told you.

Even with the icing. Holy shit. That's good! That's fucking good! I told you. Oh my god! Jeff is like from the south, and this is just... You're fucking lying!

You're cold as sugar! It's hummingbird food. Like, of course he loves it. Now, would you say you're a Kool-Aid guy generally, Jeff? Or is this like tapped into anything for you? Dude, I grew up in the 80s. I was a Kool-Aid guy generally, Jeff? Or is this like tapped into anything for you? Dude, I grew up in the 80s. I was a Kool-Aid kid. I don't think I've had Kool-Aid in 25 years.

Oh my God, what have I been missing? I thought we'd come to a point. So summer of 98 was the last time? Yeah. No. I guess it was older than that. I guess I thought we got to a point where we didn't have to mix our drinks anymore. You could buy them pre-mixed.

Fuck that, dude. I'm going back to mixing. Oh, shit't have to mix our drinks anymore. You could buy them pre-mixed. Fuck that, dude. I'm going back to mixing. Oh, shit. That's good. There's a little bit more. So it's just straight sugar. Can you talk about the flavor of it? Like mixing the purple with the yellow?

It tastes like a purple. Yeah, how much sugar went in? Dude, it tastes like a purple dinosaur. It was one packet of, these are sugar-free. It was one packet of unsweetened. One packet of unsweetened lemonade. One packet of unsweetened one packet of unsweetened lemonade, one packet of unsweetened grape, then four quarts of water, and

two cups of sugar. Two cups? Well, that's what the recipe is for fucking Kool-Aid. It's two quarts of water, a packet, and one cup of sugar. Or sweet and low, or whatever, but I just Of course he fucking loved it. This is insane. It's so good! Quartz of water a packet and one cup of sugar or sweet and low or whatever, but I just I was court

Of course fucking loved it. This is insane. I can see You've activated oh Man I'm into it. Oh fucking Sugar boner god damn Well you just want to have a club Now now we'll move on to... Oh, he's stirring it up. He's mixing the goop.

You can't really... All right, it's mixed up now. You can't see how it was separated. You can see the grits. It was liquid and then grit. It was pretty fucking... So this is the all-grape one? This is it.

And this is homage to Trevor. He was instrumental in this. This was his initial burst of idea. This is grape suicide. Six different kinds of grape, he was instrumental in this. This was his initial burst of idea. This is Grape Suicide. Six different kinds of grape from Concord to green to other stuff.

Are you going to suck from the middle of the cup for the best consistency or are you going to go from the bottom? Middle of the cup. Okay. Oh, it's not as thick as I was expecting.

That seemed to glide right in. It's like a frothy grape juice. Doesn't taste any better or worse than any grape juice I've ever had. Tastes fresh. They're all pretty similar tasting, don't you think? Tell us about the candy grape. Oh, man. I don't think so, because Emily will eat green grapes,

but won't touch a red grape, which is fucking weird to me. That's crazy and backwards. Yeah. It was good. Not better than just going and buying... That's not true. It's good. I'm going to give Purple Source Rex a 10 out of 10.

I'm going to give Grape Suicide 8.7. Oh, wow. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's high. But I don't know that I would... It's a lot of effort

to go in when you could just buy grape juice. Right, but certainly it's not the most effort which you're about to get into now. Doom of the Loom. This is something like... Doom of the Loom,

this is something like 35 different fruits combined. Dude, that is vibrant. Which, by the way, it looks... Everything turns into grape, apparently. Everything's purple. Which, by the way, looks, everything turns into grape, apparently. Everything's purple.

How are your ratios? Do you think you've balanced it out well, or do you think one's going to be overpowering? Oh, dude, I just, I have no fucking clue. I just put a handful

of everything. I'm so excited. I don't know. I really, I really don't know. I had no idea how to gauge, like, how much or how little of

certain things. I, no clue. I wish I could don't know I had no idea how to gauge like how much or how little of certain things I No clue I Wish I could be tasting these Here it goes he's preparing deep breath this might be the first hundred dollar smoothie anyone's ever drink It's the Jimmy Butler of smoothies It's the Jimmy Butler of smoothies Oh look at the way it got stuck halfway up the straw This one's thick Oh god he's going for it

Oh it seems chunky But maybe a good chunk There can be a good chunk Oh He seems perplexed And not a bad one Oh no that looked a little bad I'll be honest with you He seems perplexed. And not a bad one. Oh, no, that looked a little bad.

I'll be honest with you. It tastes identical to every purple smoothie I've ever bought. Oh, that's so disappointing. From Jamba Juice or Juiceland. You can't. It doesn't taste $90 more expensive than the last smoothie. Yeah, it's $100, $18 smoothie is what you've got there. It's a $100, $9 smoothie. Oh my God.

I mean, it's good. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to drink it. Even though it's a lot of fruit, I'm supposed to not combine, apparently. You're going to be shitting tonight. This is like a... I mean, it's fine as a smoothie,

but you can save yourself $95. That was fantastic. A little bitter. A little bitter. This might be the best lab work anyone's ever done oh man thank you so much i really that's really kind of you i don't know if it can compare with sleep spaghetti but i really appreciate that sorry i maybe i didn't hear it was there a number rating that you ascribe to this oh uh i'll give it a it's us it's an eight so a 10 and 8.7 and it's the worst of the three yeah yeah it's like it's like doing an episode of animal it's us. It's an 8. So a 10, an 8.7, an 8. Just the worst of the three. It's like doing an episode of Animal.

Everything is a 10. As high as a 10 or as low as a 7.7. And that was good tonight. Alright, well there you go. That was very informative. I, um, unless I'm struck by some brilliant idea in the shower

or like in a dream, I think I might be done combining fruit. Oh man. Yeah. So much acid. Oh, that's, that's. Oh, it's coming back. It's fighting you now.

Do you think you could have used the gloves if for the fruit? Yeah. Yeah. I could have used the fruit gloves if they existed. Dude. Fuck. Hold on a second. Here's a, turn my camera back on.

Oh, what are we, what are we look oh? He's really this is this is the basket is full of all the ingredients for the fruit gloves What so much stuff I got so many gadgets Yeah, I've got something look at this look at this guy. I've got Is that a light? Yeah, I've got something. Look at this. Look at this guy. I've got so much stuff.

I can't wait. He's going to have a blender on one end of it. Oh my God. Look at these little knives. I've got so much stuff to put this. It became overwhelming, but I'm going to get back to it. I'm going to do it. If you can make those heat gloves, I can make the fruit gloves. Oh, yeah.

You would have more gadgets in your hand than inspector gadget as a whole based off of what you have in that basket uh that's crazy that sounds accurate to me yes he's gonna be fruit's worst nightmare oh man that's that's some really acidic smoothie god damn you want to cut the base of some kind I think you might be in trouble if you finish that smoothie. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going to finish it. I'm not going to finish it. I just had 7,000 calories

of Purple Source Rex. You had a whole cup of sugar. We should probably start, you should wrap up because that was... Do you think we'll be serving Purple Source Rex for the next RTX?

I think we should. Or when we do our meet up someday. Oh yeah. I think it'll be serving PurpleSaurus Rex the next RTX? I think we should. Or when we do our meetup someday. I think it would be a bad idea to serve grape suicide. I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to let it be like Jonestown, but whatever. We'll do PurpleSaurus Rex.

That's a good one. It already exists. It's the 10 out of the 3. Can you imagine if that's why they discontinued the kool-aid flavor because it was the it's the jones town flavor the choice or whatever it's really bad branding for the product it's like mass murder you find out heaven's gate was really into purple sorceress oh man uh yeah i guess we should probably wrap it up then anybody else have any any last no I I nothing can top that show oh that's fantastic I'll tell you a funny little

story that happened to me today okay I got up this morning uh to go meet Trevor for breakfast and to run some errands and uh I got up and I took a shower and I got dressed and I did my hair and everything and I was walking out the door and I got dressed and I did my hair and everything. And I was walking out the door and I looked in the mirror and my hair was a little floppy. So I thought, I'll go throw some of Emily's,

because it's hot outside. I thought, I'll throw some of Emily's hairspray in my hair and then I'll take off. So I ran into her, into the bathroom and I grabbed some of her hairspray

and I sprayed it in my hair and then I just ran out the door. And as I was leaving, I saw my face, just a hint of my face in the mirror by my front door and it scared the shit out of me and I stopped and I turned

and I looked and my hair was white like I had gone gray in a second and I couldn't figure out what I was looking at I have like white and salt and pepper hair

and I was like I just the entirety of my head turned gray in one second like I must have had some crazy trauma getting from the bathroom to the front door

that I lost time. Like, maybe I was abducted by aliens for three or four weeks and then they put me right back down, you know, ten seconds later and I didn't realize it. Whatever. Anyway, and it took me probably 15 seconds of looking at it to realize I had done something with the hairspray to myself. Clearly, it must have been it. So I ran back into the bathroom

and I looked at it and apparently I didn't use hairspray. I used this thing called dry shampoo which i guess is never used before but i couldn't get it out and i was late to go i was late to run my errands and to go see trevor and i couldn't get it out and so i had to leave the house with like partially gray hair today i just aged myself for no fucking reason i've started doing a thing where every time I see myself in the mirror, I give myself a little smile. Yeah?

I give myself a little nod. That's great, dude. What did you try to do to get dry shampoo out? I tried to rub it out forever and that didn't help. I put some water in and that didn't really help that didn't help. So I put some water in and tried it and that didn't really help.

So I just left. I had, I had places to be and I figured I'll just be an older guy than I am today. I wish I had taken a photo. It's fine now. Work through it. Probably. But,

uh, it didn't cross my mind because I was in a hurry to take a photo or whatever. It was shocking because it looks so real. Was Trevor wondering how long it had been since he last saw you? Yeah. like what the fuck you've ate it's been a hard six months he did the transition shot in the end of saving private ryan in five minutes oh man what a fun episode this one was that was great yeah i really enjoyed it enjoyed it. We've been on a roll lately. I had such a good time doing the definitive music and movie list for the summer of 98 last week.

Have we talked about what those are and when they're coming out? No, and we will next time. Well, there you go. Tune in next time to find out what the fuck that is. Bye. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. More fruit talk.

Those are some freaky tomatoes. Eric is a huge fan of Discord. Who has the best title? Is it time for butt cream? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.