Regulation Podcast - Season 4, Episode 1 // I'm Gonna Set the Law on Gire [84]

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin pulling a visual joke on an audio podcast, a technical nightmare, a season change, and becoming a true crime podcast. Is this the worst episode? Welcome to Season 4. If you want to send your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78724 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Holy shit, goddamn, here we are, 2022, first episode of the year. F*** face, we just started, Andrew. You're starting off 2022 with a bang. Can you believe it's already year three? Is it? No. When does year three start? On the second

anniversary of f*** face. Yeah. So episode 104. Can you believe it's almost year three, but we're already three episodes into season three at this point. Man, the time flies. Computer freeze. Frozen.

Is this a bit? Can you hear us? Wait, can you hear me? We hear you, and can you hear us? Oh, yeah, it's just frozen. My screen is frozen. I'm trying to print the law. My screen is frozen.

It's just showing Jeff talking and nobody else lighting up so i thought i froze again this is typically what happens when i disconnect during the show uh are we what how many pages of the law have printed out i don't know it's downstairs i'm just assuming i'll just check it on you just send the law to a different room and it's just printing away there is downstairs i don't know what you want from me i don't have a printer up here like i can't send it what What am I printing it on in this room? If I keep it in this room, what am I doing, Gavin? Well, I don't know. You have a

Keurig in there, so who knows? It's true. That's a fair point. I can't argue that. I don't like that I can't see who's talking and when. I feel like I'm constantly frozen. That's your fault. That's your fault. No. That's your fault. You did that. No, yes. You did that. First of all, i wasn't saying no to

you i agree with you you're right eric this is oh i'm back we're good never mind we're fine it unfroze we're good um i want to talk about a thing before i forget because we should have mentioned it last time because it's specific to the one we recorded before i immediately texted gavin this uh once we we finished I completely misunderstood the turkey sandwich story I don't think I could see I misinterpreted what was going on in that image so badly

so what you were laughing at was potentially funnier than what happened in my story it is quite I think you can maybe make the case that my version is funnier but makes absolutely no sense in the logistics of how planes work or or describe it so where's that picture do we still have it like yeah i literally understand the picture so i'm gonna post the photo again okay revisit this

in the chat now okay so the way that how how do you misunderstand this i guess i only speaking of gavin talking about his peripheral vision failing him, I feel as though I only used my peripheral vision to fully look at this photo. I only looked out What? I only looked out

your window. What? What? I circled in a giant red circle, man! So this is how I interpreted the photo. And maybe with your peripheral vision, you could do the same. I

was looking at a window, and to my right is a wall. You're facing a wall. That's a wall with a hole. Wait. I've. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Wait, what? So I interpreted it as like you're sitting at the front of the plane. You're at the front of whatever section you're in.

Why is Jack typing? We've got mice in the pantry how is jack in our discord right now we could so mess with jack because he's not listening yeah we could do something like Because he's not listening. Yeah. We could do something like... Yes. Okay, and then...

Were you waiting for one of us to have an idea? I've had the idea. Okay. I don't want to type. That's the funniest... What a fucking great idea. You're a goddamn genius. You're the funniest person I've ever met.

That is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Oh, my God. I was going to post that later, but the fact that Jack started typing it here was just, it made it the perfect time. Oh. My. God. Do you want to explain what you just posted? Well, I kind of came in out of order, actually, but I posted a picture of Jack and

his car, then a picture of his... Who left? Uh, who do you think? Andrew left. Andrew left. That's okay. I posted a picture of Jack's car, then I posted a picture of Jack's car Then I posted a picture of Jack's car key

And then I put an arrow Under his car seat And then I posted a picture of a bag of cocaine And a big picture of Jack Smiling next to the car Just so Jack has to look at all these pictures And assume that they're somehow In this episode...

Because I've been thinking about this but didn't know the timing of it. Or people would be mad because they like the segment so much. I can't take it. It's too funny. The sequence is great. You're definitely telling a narrative that Jack is smuggling cocaine in the back of his car.

I can't see. I'm dying. I'm dying. Oxygen. You okay, Jeff? I'm sweating from laughing so hard oh my god the longer Jack doesn't respond the funnier it gets now I'm nervous that he's that he's gonna be mad

that's what makes it so much better he's gonna be mad. That's what makes it so much better. Next week on F*** Face. Three pounds of cocaine are under my car seat. Oh, man. He got a jet under jail free card. He's doing your idea. He's inspired by your... Apologies for the very visual gag there to the audience, but I assume we can somehow make a picture out of it on Instagram.

The turkey thing, viewed that as a wall. You're right. Okay, so which, going back to this, which is the, where's the wall? So the window in front of you, I thought that was a wall and not a window. And I thought that it,

but it's a window. There's shit out of it. You can see out of the window. Listen, I understand. This is really dumb. And I only learned this because I was describing what had happened

and nobody knew what I was talking about. I assumed I'd created in my head that because of COVID and wanting like distancing, that if you had a wall seat, they had like a little food hole to put the food through. And so in my head, your version of the story, you're looking out that window and then they shoved the turkey sandwich

through the food hole. And that's what you got spooked at not that it was just a reflection in the window in front of you solitary confinement they're shoving his food through a fucking hole I haven't been on a plane I had questions too about how this would even work. It didn't really make sense in my head, but that's how I turned. Just imagining some guy getting blasted by the wind, stood out in the wind,

trying to shove Turkish sandwiches into the first class cabin. Obviously it was not outside. I assumed it would be like where the attendance would be. There's a wall and there's the natural barrier sometimes there's a toilet on that wall on the other side of it and I assumed that they had a food hole for the wall so you didn't have to be near the person to give them their turkey sandwich so what I was saying about how the reflection and like the optical illusion

what did I don't understand which part you thought I thought was the plane. Do you think I was just looking at someone's hand come through the hole with a turkey sandwich and that looked like a plane? Alright. Okay. I think you've stumped them. Aye yi yi.

Today is a technical nightmare. I went into Achievement Hunter, nothing worked. I was there for two hours, filmed nothing. Had to leave. Are you serious? To come home and film my video, which is now being rushed. And that broke too.

Now this doesn't work. Do you think it's you? Oh, yeah. Too many coincidences, right? I got good coin luck, but technically wise. Oh, man. Dude, I cannot wait to see how Jack handles this. Gavin, that is really the funniest fucking thing to me.

I don't know why. It's just, oh, God. It's the best. How long have you been holding on to that? I came up with it last night. Nice. Look at you coming up with ideas. That's awesome.

Do you think? I came up with it last night. Nice. Look at you coming up with ideas. That's awesome. Do you think? I mean, I do. The goal is to make it seem like you didn't plan a bunch of stuff, right? Where it's more spontaneous. Yeah.

Are you giving a little peer behind the curtain? I write all this shit down. No, I write it all down. But the way, the way I bring it up is often like if it's near a conversation i can just pluck from the list and it seems yeah yeah less like i'm stopping the conversation to come up with something totally agree what are you on now well my computer's still frozen i have this

stop printing the law well okay i've stopped i don't know how okay i stopped the print has stopped my computer's still frozen i plugged my xbox headset into my phone i'm now talking into my microphone for recording the show i'm talking into two mics right now but i can hear you through until i unfree i think i've unfroze i think we we're okay. Sorry. It sounds like you're calling me from a season one Red vs. Blue recording. I made that joke. I know. One coach. Yeah.

Okay. Am I unfrozen? I'm unfrozen. I'm going to swap back. Hey, you think you're going to have any problems editing this, or you think it's just going to be pretty straight and narrow? Easy peasy oh man said dude 2022 is off to a shit start for nick man oh so oh are you back andrew i'm good i'm back sorry

about that we're all good which part did you hear me ask you about? Oh, did you think I got scared by a guy's hand coming through a hole and not a reflection? Okay, I missed it. It froze again. Oh my god! What did you say? Sorry. I was going to do a bit, but it actually happened. What do you say? Sorry. I was going to do a bit, but it actually happened. I just don't care enough about the answer to ask you again. Okay.

Did you think that I got scared by a guy's hand with a turkey sandwich in it? Yes. Coming through a hole instead of the reflection of that behind me. Exactly. I thought that you got scared by somebody shoving a turkey sandwich through a hole unexpectedly and you just saw movement and that's why yeah that's how i mean i may have not described it very well i was worried about that at the time because it's it's without the visual you had the picture though i did have you described it exceptionally clearly it was fine it was just my dumb my dumb brain just i decided that was a wall and that was facing you and that that was a food hole and that planes now have food

holes since i've gotten on flights i made a lot of leaves don't you think i would have mentioned the phrase food hole no yeah you probably would i wish you guys could have seen the room when i was trying to describe the food hole to the plate i think i open with you know how planes now have the the thing you like you did a great job the thing you didn't account for is that andrew doesn't understand planes i don't understand planes and i apparently don't see because we had the same issue with the break shit thing where i was like there's nobody in the stands on that card and then people like what are you talking about that's the whole arena my eyes just don't work oh oh yeah yeah i had so

much fun on that last break shit the one with the fuck stick break shit that was that i feel like that show is really coming into its own uh one of the things that we we're i was i was saying the last podcast in 2022 i want to i want to go into sports in a big way i think one of the ways i want to do that is that idea that we we officially announced on the break show which is that we i want to create the infinity towel right which is uh you know you guys have long made fun of me for having a baseball or basketball card that has a swatch of Marcus Smart's game worn game used towel. And it says tools of the trade, which you think is ridiculous that a towel could be a tool. And, you know, we had the idea and I might have actually been your idea from the beginning, Andrew. But we had an idea to get as many different pieces of towels

from as many different NBA players as possible and create like the most talented towel of all time. The goat of towels, the infinity towel with like LeBron James and Kobe Bryant and Steph Curry and, you know, Jason Tatum and, and, uh,

Nicola Jokic and all the best players. And then we just sew it together and, and make this like patchwork, uh, quilt towel of power as it were. It was an idea that like range, I didn't know the towel cards existed i didn't know that was such a dumb thing that could even possibly exist i wanted to do it says food hole guy yeah yeah well i mean that's listen that's my stupid idea that's my i would

never kills of the trade towel card that's's absurd. Towel into towel. Nice, Nick. Nice, Nick. There are cards, too, of like, there's a whole set of Adam Sandler shirt. He's cutting out again. This sucks. This motherfucker.

This blows. He needs to stop the print. He's still printing the law. We're bordering on not having a second episode here if we have too many more of these fucking problems. Nick is a tremendous editor, but he can only do so much. He can't invent audio that doesn't exist. Yeah.

He can't create a show out of sackcloth and ashes, unfortunately. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe you could. Maybe you could do Andrew for pickups. Oh, he's gone. Oh, he's gone. Andrew's gone. He's gone again. Well, Gav, do you want Andrew for pickups. Oh, he's gone. Andrew's gone again. Well, Gav, do you want to just... Oh, no, he's back.

Is he back? You guys... When are you going out of town, Gav? Monday. Tomorrow or something? God damn it. Yeah, do you think his C drive's full? Well, yeah, because the law is a very it's

a thick document so i would think that saving that unless he just printed it from a browser which is more insane it's like all of his cpu usage is floating the law in a web browser 100% CPU devoted to the law My back hell boys in a big way you're back. I think I'm back. Oh, yeah, fucking is your computer full Is everyone quiet is this oh my god to you I'm all being done I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. Andrew! Can you not hear me?

Can you imagine? Can you hear me? Can you imagine? I genuinely can't hear you. I'm so sorry. I'll leave and I'll come back. It's 2022. You're like, I'm going to start the new year off right. I want to start fresh.

I'm going to pick up a new podcast, maybe something that's been recommended to me, or maybe I'll just search around for my relative interests. Oh, face right. Yeah, I'll give this a shot. I might as well just start with the most recent episode, just start 2022 off as they are in 2022. This would be the last episode you ever listen to.

This might ruin podcasts for you as a whole if you listen to this. Jesus. Andrew. No you listen to this. Jesus. Andrew. No. This is really something. Are you just being quiet now on purpose? No, I'm back. Now I'm back.

I'm so sorry. You're not back! You're cutting out, you idiot! What do you mean I'm cutting out? What do you want? Do you know what he means? No, I don't. You're cutting out, you idiot! What do you mean I'm cutting out? What do you want? What? What do you mean? I'm cutting out. Do you know what he means? No, I don't. Delete the law!

Delete the law! I deleted the law. That last time I froze up, I was just going to my tab with notes. I was just going to my notes tab. Don't do anything! Do nothing! We...

Okay, I'm not going to touch a thing. Can we just... Use your mouth. Can we move on? No hands. Can we go to the next season? Can we just change seasons at this point? I'm not going to touch a thing. Can we just use your mouth? We move on. No hands. Can we go to the next season? Can we just change seasons at this point? I feel like the season's already lost.

Can we move to whatever season three, season four, whatever we're on? I think we got to change. I mean, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah. We can, we can, this could be the last episode. Let's swap seasons. Yeah.

Yeah. Season three was horrendous, but don't move in this episode. It has to be next episode. We need a clean break. Yeah, we can't do a mid-episode season switch. Has that ever happened on an episode? Midway through. All right.

Well, now we've got to do it because it's groundbreaking. Because we're doing shit that nobody's ever thought of before. shit that nobody's ever thought of before. And that's the moment season three, year two of F*** Face ended. Congratulations. You've made it all the way to season four, year two of F*** Face. Episode one, season four,

year two, F*** Face. Overall, episode 84 and a half, I guess, at this point, is where we are. Maybe. Yeah. We may be tainting season four as well, but I think it was worth doing just to be a mid-episode switch of seasons. I feel bad for season three. I feel like season three had a lot of opportunity,

had a lot of good momentum, and then it just got bogged down with technical problems that it's going to make it look, in the grand scheme of things, it's going to be overlooked as a season, but for what it was, two and a half episodes or whatever, I think it was really strong. It's like a season of Luther or something short. We could probably submit the entire season

to an award show or something, like Best Season, because it was strong. It was very brief. Yeah, strong and brief. It was very British. It's a great brief. Yeah. It was very British. Great point because they always submit like just one or two episodes from a show. Those award things. We could genuinely do the entire season.

Season three is fully up for nomination. I will say, since we started season four, your audio has been phenomenal, Andrew. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I said. We got to...

God damn it! Oh, but are you serious? God damn it! God I said. God damn it! Are you serious? God damn it! God damn it! God damn it! No! He must be messing with us. You can't ruin season 4 too! You killed season 3!

You can't kill season 4 in the it's in the cradle still! It hasn't even taken its first breath yet! Its eyes aren't open! You can't kill season four in the womb it's it's in the cradle still it hasn't even taken its first breath yet its eyes aren't open you can't kill it now we might we might have to go back to season three i don't know that this is insane you can't do that this is you can't go backwards i mean it's like i just don't think that season four ever got off its feet and now look at where we're at. Like this is Oh my god the womb. This is like a season three post mortem. We might just have to put a bullet in season four and start

over again with season five. Holy shit. No. We can rescue season four. I'm so sorry. What are you doing? He wasn't doing anything. I was just sitting at a screen and everything froze! My computer sucked!

I stopped printing the law like an hour ago! I'm wearing two sets of headphones! I don't know! I don't know what to do! I'm talking into two microphones right now! What do you want from me? I'm trying!ger like legible audio I could unplug, but then there's going to be double audio.

Don't unplug. Don't unplug. Don't unplug anything. Don't do that. His original file is still running and recording his original mic. Gavin, zero. I don't know what Nick is going to do. Here we go.

What do you mean? Is this? It's the same mic. I just put the headphone out and I'm talking into it like a phone. It's the same. It's the phone, but I removed my Xbox mic. It sounds so much better. Yeah, this is good? No, it's not good. It is not good. It is not good, but it sounds better. Okay.

But I'm still... This might have to be the final episode. This might be where this all ends no because I have plans for 2022 I want to talk about an idea I had I just I really Andrew do you want to I want to end on my idea so Andrew do you want to cover what you wanted to talk about no it's go ahead go ahead. You talk about your idea. I'll be here. I'll just be quietly listening. All right.

I'll support you. Well, here's the deal. 2022, new year, fresh start, right? We just started season four. We put season three to bed a little earlier than I anticipated by about 50 episodes. But whatever. I have no interest in looking in the rearview mirror. Let's move.

Always marching forward. That's what we do, right? We're going to advance towards future victory. So season three was forcibly put down, Nick said. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's like old yellow. We took it around the back behind the barn and put two between the eyes.

Fucking hell. It had rabies. Yeah. It had rabies. We had to cut its head off just to make sure. Otherwise, Billy's going to get a series of shots. We got cursed. Oh, God.

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Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. So we've done really well for ourselves. We created an unsearchable, unsellable, unnameable podcast about less than nothing.

And we've achieved an incredible amount of success in that endeavor. And I'm floored by it. It's a testament to how talented you all are. It's a testament to how supportive the comment leavers and the regulation listeners are. But I feel like we've hit a plateau and I want to figure out how to break into that next echelon to keep growing, to keep innovating and getting better because we're changing the world here right through through this podcast and so i was thinking like what can we do that what can we take on that's bigger that maybe is more momentous that could have some sort of a an effect that that improves the the state of things in some way and then it hit me we and i was also looking at what's popular on other podcasts and stuff i think face in 2022 we need to solve a murder that's what all the true crime podcasts are doing they're all out

there solving murders why don't we find and solve a crime or a murder we can do it right we've got the regulation listeners. Andrew's got a spreadsheet of multi-talented people. We're relatively smart. We've got reach and influence. Why don't we solve a crime, a mystery, and then we'll... I just got me imagining what if there's another podcast out there

trying to solve the child kicker problem. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'll be right back. Oh my god. Jeff, did you accidentally eat pastrami? Now we've lost Jeff I think we what I think we may have found the murder. What is going on? Is the murder Jeff did the dog I think the murder might be Jeff was that his bit where he's like oh my god He's the victim

No, I'm not I'm not gonna fall for this clue dinner party bullshit He's like, oh my god, he's the victim. He's forcing us to solve his murder. No, I'm not going to fall for this Clue dinner party bullshit. He is not. He is fine. This is a game. No, you're talking about me? No, what happened was I was taking a drink of Diet Dr. Pepper right when Gavin made that joke about the Vancouver Child Kicker. And I threw up in my mouth.

I laughed so hard. And I shot Dr. Pepper into my eyeball. And I had to run to the bathroom to dry off because I shot out like a half of Dr. Pepper all over the mic, all over my phone, my pants. And it was immediate. We thought you were doing a bit where it's like, guys, we should solve a murder. Oh, no, someone with a knife! No, no, but your wit was very sharp. I will say that. Anyway,

yeah, this is something. Unhinged is a great way to put it, Eric. So anyway, if the audience is aware of any murders that need solving, let us know. We'll look into it. No, don't send us any murders. We don't need any murder information. Keep that to yourself or contact the authorities.

We don't need to get involved in murders. We've got an army of murder finders. Yeah, well, I mean, we want a cold case, right? We want, like, a BTK type thing. We don't want to... Yeah, I'm not looking... It has to be well established. We want vintage.

Something that is known. Yeah! Yeah. We'll do vintage murders only something that is known. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do vintage murder. What if we finally solve the Zodiac Killer? Wouldn't that be cool for our podcast? What a feather in our cap. I feel like they just did that.

Didn't they just do that? I feel like that's the bad example. I thought they just solved that. Yeah, but what if it was us? What if it was us? That's what I'm saying. That's a fair point. What if we were fucking... what's his name's wife

rest her soul oh patten oswald patten oswald yeah yeah only murder only murders in the dark is that what that was called there it was fucking phenomenal there's something like that yeah uh what it sounds to me like i need to start printing the law again is what you're saying i need to get back into it get to the fine details i could be a details guy for this law thing let me we start back up i only got like i don't know 700 more pages no maybe wait let's wait until after the podcast and then maybe you can print the law i guess as long as i get to print the law at some point i'm okay with i don't know what you guys want to do in 2022 but i wouldn't i wouldn't be opposed i wouldn't be opposed to becoming sleuths. If we solved a mystery of some kind,

it would not be shocking to me. That seems fine. When you press print on the law, how many pages did it say it was going to do? I just clicked. You've got to be kidding me. Did he just, was he doing it in real time? Did he click print? Did he just, was he doing it in real time? Did he click print?

Did he click print on the law again? He was like, well, I did this, then I did this. I'll tell you one thing. If we might have to solve, if this happens a couple more times in this episode, somebody might have to solve the murder of Andrew Panton. in this episode, somebody might have to solve the murder of Andrew Patton. We can't even

solve why his stuff doesn't work and you want to solve murders. This is something. I'm looking at the time on our recording, but I'm also looking at the time the separate clock in my head of how much real content we have. Oh, we're four minutes into the seven.

We got seven okay minutes right now. No, I think we got like 18 decent minutes. I'd say at least 19. Oh my God. I'd argue a strong 19 at a minimum. Did you repeat your question, Gavin? I missed it. It froze on the middle.

You're asking page count? Yeah. How many pages was the law? I was wondering if the law, if you could climb the law i was wondering i have no idea if the law if you could climb the law like if you couldn't reach a light bulb but you but the law was thick enough to climb to change it like could you make the the law useful in other ways that's a great question how tall i would be with how tall is the law is is like the only thing i need to be in the nba the law if i could just stand on the law would I then become like a

genuinely decent center in the NBA in addition if you burned the law in a fireplace in 8k could you burn it for eight hours and if so would people watch it this podcast feels like we had it in one piece at the beginning it smashed and we're all four of us on our hands and knees like turning over pieces of it like reading off it like you know what it's like yeah it's like that japanese art where they like smash a bowl and then they put it back together and then they outline the breaks in gold right and then it's supposed to show like new beauty and in the preservation and the reconstruction of it we We're doing that, but we're all out of gold, so we're using feces.

Can we upload this podcast, but change the logo for this one episode to a smashed window with the face logo? We have to. Oh, my God. Well, that was my clip for 2022. I want to solve a crime. Andrew, what do you want to do in 2022 other than buy a fucking computer that works uh well let me go to

my notes i gotta load my notes up don't do it oh no well i'm already frozen on my phone it's fine okay uh let's see i and we may have covered uh the home alone i wanted to talk about home alone with you jeff you recommended home alone i wanted to talk about home alone with you jeff you recommended home alone i recommended home alone the new home alone the ellie home sweet home alone yes you recommended it watched it last night it was it was not terrible but i don't why would you recommend that movie i thought it was cute and okay no it was it started they there are so many i like the the mcu the involvements of the mcu i like i thought that was a great a great way to bring that in i told you it makes total sense and it feels like you get it and you go that's enough i i appreciate it the fact that

the fact that you find out spoiler so if you if you don't want to get spoilers from an okay movie uh don't listen to this part but the fact that kevin mccallister is still fucking with his brother after all these years is really fucking funny i enjoyed that and i like the idea that kevin mcallister created like a home alarm empire that he's like the home alarm guy that he has a system i just didn't know who to root for in the movie you you root for rob delaney and ellie kimper not the kid the kid's obnoxious you don't care about the kid you root for the criminals in this one that's that's what makes this one different but i feel like is that the criminals are the main characters and and the sympathetic characters but it still has all of the horrendous traps and stuff in it that is supposed

to be the fun of the final last act yeah i don't care who gets hurt i just want to see people get hurt i just felt confused i didn't know i didn't know who to cheer for i felt like i took away from the traps i didn't want them to get hurt, whereas opposed to the first film, there's such great dumb villains that it's just every time something horrible happens, you can cheer for it. It felt very tonally weird.

Did Kevin McCallister's parents ever find out what happened to him while he was home alone? That's a great question. I think if they had, the second movie couldn't have happened, right? Why would he keep that from them? I don't know. But why would the police not tell them?

Why would they ever let him leave their site again? I mean, he almost died. A bunch. They were going to kill him. He also cleaned up all the mess except for the gold tooth. Yeah, that's true. How did that not get swept up? Yeah.

Eric's leaving now. At least he's letting us know ahead of time. I'm just stepping away for a second. I'll be right back Nick, cut this out Nick, leave it in Can we have a podcast where every single cast member doesn't leave at one point? Well, can you not be so funny you make me throw up on myself?

I just have to, I finished a cup of coffee, I have to piss And you guys are talking about Home Alone 6 or whatever I'll be right back you don't say anything 90% of the time why would you even bother telling us I tell Nick I let Nick know and I figured this was easier I always let Nick know when I'm stepping away and next time I'll just let Nick know

and I won't let you know Nick do you need to take a break at any point Nick are you good well he's typing Nick, do you need to take a break at any point? Nick, are you good? Well, he's typing. Nick says you picked a hell of a time to do that, and I'm good. I will say,

one thing that kind of annoys me about this Home Alone thing, I get that it's not a great movie. I just said I enjoyed it. I thought it was cute. I really, I enjoyed getting a piece of that world again. I think the thing that's funny is all the shit that you and people

are talking about me on Twitter when it's very clear to me they haven't seen the movie they think they're talking about Home Alone 3 and they're not I had some kid go yeah I've known that movie sucked since I was 12 and I'm like the movie came out like November 15th

you cannot rule out that they've turned 13, Jeff. You can't rule it out. I didn't. But it's become very clear to me that people don't know what movie we're talking about. I get, I looked it up,

it's got a 13 on Rotten Tomatoes. Like, it's not well-reviewed, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as the Heat that it's getting. Is it Home Alone 5? Is it technically the 5th or the 6th one? It's either 5 or six. They definitely made four. I think it's five or six.

Okay. I remember three being not as good, but watchable at least. Yeah, three wasn't great, but watchable. It was an interesting experience to watch because I started it and then I tweeted are you fucking with me, Jeff? Or something along the lines to Jeff. It starts horribly. It's a really

shitty beginning to a movie. And then by about the halfway point, I almost wanted to tweet an apology because it's not good, but it's, it's not the worst. And I could see myself being nine and really enjoying this movie. Uh, and then the last act happened and the last act was terrible. I hated the last act as well. Not the worst thing ever, but it just, I would never, it's a weird recommendation. I thought it was a good holiday movie i'm glad i recommended it that's fair that's fair i mean what about it's weird there's some snl cameos in it that are very strange that i don't understand why like they're not big enough names to have a reaction to and they're only in it once well do you want to do you want to know why i think it it was written by Mikey Day from SNL.

Oh, okay. I think it was co-written by him, if I'm correct. So it's from SNL alum in some way. So I think that's the connection there. Oh, there's fucking Dr. Pepper on my keyboard. I wish Dr. Pepper on my keyboard was my biggest computer problem at the moment. I'd take that. I feel like it's your doing, though.

I don't... Even interestingly, so Mikey Day and Streeter from College Humor wrote that movie. Oh. I used to love those Prank Wars. Prank Wars videos, yeah. Yeah, those were fun. Some of them were brutal, like the skydiving one. Jesus Christ. Oh, God. or the proposal at yankee stadium they got real they got they escalated fast that was a great series if you're not familiar with

like i guess early to mid 2000s college humor videos they had a series called prank wars where this dude streeter who was like a trying to be a stand-up comedian and then this dude amir uh you might remember from jake and amir uh they would do these escalating prank wars and there was one where amir uh put a paid to get a uh a wedding proposal on yankee stadium from streeter to his girlfriend and didn't tell them and then he gave streeter and his girlfriend free tickets to the game and then secretly recorded it when it popped up like in the seventh inning and his girlfriend thought he was really proposing and all the cameras and everybody looked to them and he had to be like no i'm not and it was fucking brutal it was a great series yeah i i don't know i feel

like it's tough to like when the punchline of the prank is you think you're gonna die that's a tough prank what are you way i should re-watch this oh they were so good or the one where he made him think he uh he hit the half court basketball shot with his eyes yeah when he was blindfolded i briefly played mario kart with amir for a few nights and uh all of our we weren't talking we didn't have like voice chat so all of our DMs to each other are just like in the moment messages about that particular

Mario Kart race so our DMs make absolutely no sense that's fucking funny Andrew are you still able to talk? Eric are you done pissing? Do you want to be Andrew while he's gone every time yeah i've been back for a while this episode has made me feel weird i feel weird i feel different i feel like a different person i just don't know what you do like i don't want this all started because he

wanted to print the law not even in this episode now we're in the situation that we're in i know what you mean i don't i wouldn't say I feel weird, but I don't feel good. Nick said that this is the, the writer's strike episode equivalent. And I couldn't agree more. When he said that season three is typically a good season. And then now we're into season four and it's really falling apart. It's genuinely hard to get worse at something that you do all the time.

But I think we've proven that you do all the time. But I think we've proven that possible time and time again. Andrew? Andrew! Andrew! I am so sorry. I just wanted to know the laws. I just wanted to know the laws. We might have to create some official

f*** face laws about how we conduct ourselves during the things we're allowed to do in the periphery while we're recording. Oh my god. Do you know the law now? No. No.

I don't know. He sounds like he's going. It's dead. I don't know. It sounds like he's going through a blender. Sorry. I want to take that blender. You still sound like I'm on a blender? You know in all the movies when a robot is being destroyed and right at the last minute it starts talking

like the voice box is all broken. You sound like a dying robot from any movie. Right now, still? You're Hal from 2001. You sound like a dying robot from any movie. Right now, still? You're Hal from 2001. You're Ash from Alien. Well, here's the thing. You sound better now, but I know as soon as we say that, you're gonna drop out again. So, yeah.

I'm not touching anything. I haven't touched anything for a while. I'm scared to touch anything. He's stuck between 2021 and 2022. He's stuck between seasons. It's a problem. He's still got one foot in season three. Yeah, we've left that behind, Andrew.

Andrew? Well, at least we're not stepping over each other. Gab, what do you want to do for the next eight minutes or so before we can stop this? Eric, what have you got for this week? Let me think. We have some really interesting merchandise coming out.

You don't have to sell stuff. What have you got in general? What are you looking forward to in 2022, Eric? Wrestling? I'm looking forward to some of our podcasts going on tour. Not this one, but other podcasts going on tour. I'm looking forward to traveling. You don't on tour. Not this one, but other podcasts going on tour. I'm looking forward to traveling.

Is this one allowed to go on tour? Oh no, this one's allowed, but trying to coordinate to, to get it on tour has been, um, increasingly difficult. Oh,

it's going to happen. It's got to happen. I mean, I'd love for it to happen. It's going to have to happen. It's going to have to happen in Vancouver. We're going to have to go to Andrew and it needs to happen.

I don't give a shit about doing the podcast on tour. I don't give a shit about doing it in front of an audience or any of that stuff. What I care about is crabbing. I care about bathtub races. I care about all the stuff

we're going to film when we go to Canada. The podcast tour is just an excuse to get us together so that we can film shit in Canada. Well, I was told that the original idea of going to Canada for this podcast tour is just an excuse to get us together so that we can film shit in Canada. Well, I was told that the original idea of going to Canada for this podcast tour is not doable.

So the earliest we could do it would maybe 2023. But so we can but we can try to go to Canada. Otherwise, yeah, we got so much to do. We got to have dinner. That's right. Both. We got to find Andrew's house. If we go to Vancouver or whatever to go record with Andrew,

we have to bring a lot of equipment. You do. Because there's no way we can use fucking anything that Andrew has. Well, we could be tripping over the law just to get in. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. We have to film a fireplace video in Vancouver. Yeah. If this wasn't

free, I would be giving everyone a refund this podcast. You know what, audience? I'm going to give you a free fund. You didn't pay anything, but I'm giving you a free... It's an emotional thing. I'm giving you a little... It's it's a it's an emotional thing I'm giving you a little it's a yeah, it's a time though. That's gone you we can't give you that I can't do anything about that yeah, but just know that we wasted potentially more of it making this than you did listen to it

Oh, it's we're getting the cakes out for the tuxedo. It's all that matters. Oh my god It's never gonna. I will be prepared. I will be good to go. I will say, if that goes flawlessly, if we record and the tuxedo works and we have no technical issues, I'm jumping out a window. I'll flip. I'll fucking flip. Do we have the tech worked out for the tuxedo?

I assume we'd all just be watching at the same time on our own feet. Let's just sync up. I think that I can host it. I'll just get you guys a program that's very easy so you can view my screen in real time. Yeah, that'd be good. Instead of doing it over Discord

because I don't trust whatever Andrew just said. Andrew's going to sit on his remote. Jeff's going to spit Dr. Pepper on his. It's going to be a mess if we're in control. Having to re-sync is going to be a whole thing. Are we afraid of like tuxedo audio bleed coming into our commentary or anything? I don't care. Just wear your headphones and you'll be a whole thing. Are we afraid of like tuxedo audio bleed coming into our commentary or anything? I don't care.

Just wear your headphones and you'll be fine. Okay. Should we, the episode that's just come out this week was I think the first episode of season three. Should we just tweet and tell everyone that season three is over already? I can't say what,

can't say why, but season three is, season three is ended. Season three got two in the- two behind the eye. Yeah, we should. This one's coming together though. I think we've got a significant amount. I think this is a fine- I mean, why am I fucking talking? I don't know what happened for 80% of the show. I'm the least- I can't evaluate this.

You're talking- play catch up motherfucker. We need your word count gavin and i are out of juice according to audacity i've been recording for 18 minutes so what what what what's that oh poor nick also we should probably talk about something that andrew told me in confidence about last week's recording oh yeah what's that is that driven are going to object to this is even here i don't think he's here anymore yeah so you can just do it he'll never hear this now he just says he's typing Jeff when you pitched Anderson I'm going to go set the law on fire Oh my god

Screenshot that I quit fire Is Jack doing a read of this of what this episode is because it's insane because in the middle of everyone going no Andrew stop it's just Nick linking to Home Alone the Holiday

Heist and there's some stuff about his car at the top oh my god. Andrew admitted to me last week that while he was recording, he for some reason had to stop recording for like a minute and then

just resumed his file. So without even mentioning it to Nick so that he knew that the edit would go out of sync. Nick said that exploits a lot. So I guess his file just skipped forward. And I was like, well, you got to tell him.

He's like, I can't bring myself to tell him. Nick, how did that go for you? What did you have to figure out? I should have just told you, shouldn't I? I had the information, too. You're part of the problem. Nick probably missed a fucking milestone with his kid because he had to spend extra time editing yeah nick what happened i looked up and there was this huge desync and i was like oh and usually it's by like a quarter of a second

but instead it was like by 10 he started laughing at nothing like it was just silence and then him laughing into the void it It was super bizarre. So finally I figured out what he did. I figured I was like, oh, his computer is just stupid. So I backed it up. But now that I know that. Yeah, it's his computer. Yeah, his computer messed up.

Look at today. We, I think this might be the hardest we've faced ourselves in a while. Oh, big time. Which 18 minutes do you think andrew has he's got a lot he's got 18 minutes of him going well i think we should take andrew's raw recording from today and press that onto vinyl and just give that i just came back and heard 30 seconds. Great, Andrew. Fucking awesome.

He didn't like it one bit. He didn't like what he was hearing. Reboot! I would have rebooted 25 minutes ago. Why wouldn't he do it? Oh my god. How is this better than the two minutes it would take to reboot and restart? Oh man.

This is incredible. Is the law preventing a reboot? Maybe. Yeah. Can the episode title be I'm going to set the law on Gaia? It's against the law to stop the law during printing.

Oh, I got one piece of just a minor housekeeping because I know you guys are so fucking concerned about my physical health. I got the results of my x-rays back on my hips. Sorry, I can't. I'm just looking at what Andrew's talking about.

Didn't like it. What the fuck? Didn't like it one bit. No, no, Bib, you fuck. Oh, I did. Bella Hadid. What? We have to ignore Andrew for a sec and listen to the x-ray results. What happened at the x-ray results what what happened oh yeah yeah well they were brief there was i got a very quick email that just said nothing on x-rays

however you do have arthritis in your spine and i don't know what that means that's all he said he just said i'm like i guess i gotta fucking i was like okay so i guess i need to make a follow up or something. You're in your 40s. Time to feed the dogs. Well, I already have arthritis in my shoulder. That's well documented from the crash and the freeze. Yeah, and my spine.

So I'll take that as good news, honestly. So just real quick, I'm just thinking top of mind stuff or whatever. Throw an 80 still or what's up? Well, that's a great question. That'd be a big part of 2022, right? I'm definitely off on my timeline. I don't think I'm going to get there on my 90 day window or whatever, because I haven't been able to, I mean, you know, get on a bicycle or lift and like, it's been rough.

But now that I know that structurally my hips are fine and I'm just dealing with arthritis in my spine, I mean, it doesn't change the fact that I have a lot of pain still in that leg, so I guess I gotta figure that out. But at least I know there's nothing structurally wrong. So I take it all as a

good sign that I can get back to my training now. I'm gonna attempt to ride a bike for the first time in over a month this weekend, and we'll see how that goes. And then if that goes well, then I'm gonna start throwing and eat! bike for the first time in over a month this weekend, and we'll see how that goes. And then if that goes well, then I'm going to start throwing heat. This is the bike that pedals for you. Yeah, it's the sitting part that's hard.

Okay, cool. Not the pedaling part. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. And then I'm sure Andrew has a lot he wants to say now, so take it away. Yeah, Andrew, go ahead. Just whatever's on your mind.

Didn't like it one bit. No. M-N. Bib. You fuck. O-R. Had. Had. So he typed, didn't like it one bit, no, MN, bib. You fuck. Oh, R. Had. The head did.

We'll have to screenshot that, right? We'll have to screenshot that and... One day this Discord chat will make a tremendous book. Oh, so Jack has to read through all this too. So that's pretty exciting. I wonder if he's going to be able to even do a preview or it's just gonna say the episode exploded like what's he gonna say about this it's a great question he also said this is the perfect episode to introduce a new person to the do you think so i mean i guess it is the letter of the i mean it's it's within

the spirit of the name what does it say about us that we actually put this one out? What does it say? We have zero quality control? Oh, yeah, that we have other things to do. That we ran out of hours to make anything else. Andrew's not even here anymore. He's just gone. Why doesn't he reboot?

He's one of the hosts. He's one of the main hosts. does the intro sometimes sometimes he does the ads last week yeah which i appreciated because i couldn't get to it well i fuck dude i guess we should stop don't you have to go play video games or something gav you have to play pinball machine or something i have to go to an arcade and do a bit of film yeah sorry this episode was bad gavin has to go to an arcade and do a bit of filming. Sorry this episode was bad. Gavin has to go to the arcade. I'm the only one who didn't leave in the middle of it. Listen, I only left for one second.

I left for one second. That's fair. That's fair. And it was only because of your talent. If anything, it's your fault. I'll take it away. I'm happy with that blame. Nick stayed the whole time.

That's true. Well, now you did it, it nick you moved the carpet with your wife you already said that well that was the last you were like you were like i let oh first recording okay i always hear the whole time for the first recording that's nothing look there's something to be said though about setting an incredibly low bar at the beginning of something this year it's hard to trip over yeah we'll do well to be worse than this. That's a good point. And if that's not a selling point for tuning in for the next 365 days of face content, I don't know what is. It can't get worse.

That means next week when you tune in and listen to it, it's going to be at least this good, but probably slightly better. You might be at the beginning of a pretty severe dip. It only goes up from here, the f*** face story. That's right, Nick. Oh my god. Well, I guess I'm done.

Nick, Gavin, Eric, you guys got anything else? You can check out store.roosterteeth.com for all the cool f*** face merch we have out now. Go check it out. I'm sure there's some things that we didn't even know went up. Boys of Zimmer, et cetera.

Go check it out. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that the fuck sticks are on the way. Don't forget about those. Also, we've got the metal bread clips coming. Three socks, we're going to solve a murder. Those are. And I believe the Community

Christmas album came out. I was just starting to listen to it last night. It was very good, so give that a shot too. Why do you think Folgers trademarked the piece of foil that goes over the top of their coffee? Excuse me?

When you open it and it says Aroma Seal TM, what's special about their piece of foil? Well, I guess seals in the aroma. Yeah, I just feel like there's seals on everything. They don't all have fancy names. You drink a lot of Folgers? I'll drink Folgers in an emergency, yeah, if I've got, like, old beans or something.

Gammy old beans. I'm not criticizing it. It is the best part of waking up. Yes, that is what they say. As someone who hand grinds your beans, Eric, do you ever stoop as low as Folgers? I guess if I have to, if I'm on set and there's coffee and that's it, yeah, but it gives me a headache.

The taste gives me a headache like it tastes like the taste gives me a headache i think it's just but i think that's linked to like that smell from like when i was a kid or like school or something i don't think that it's like the coffee necessarily that gives me a headache i think it's psychosomatic andrew's apologizing yeah he andrew's back into apologizing andrew are you on mike Do you want to apologize on mic? No, he's maybe gone again. I think he can talk now. He's just too embarrassed to speak. I wouldn't be surprised if Andrew was able to talk for the last five minutes.

Andrew, do you want to do the outro? Andrew, do you want to do the outro, buddy? It's all yours. Say whatever you want to do the outro? Andrew, do you want to do the outro, buddy? It's all yours. Say whatever you want. Well, there you go, Andrew Panton. As always, a man of few words. Thanks for listening. He said the log on him.

I threw the book at him. Oh, man. I swear to God, if you listen to the next episode, it will be better than this. Do not give up on us today. It can only get better. 2022 is going to be a good year, I swear.

We just had to get all the dog shit out of the way, out the gate. Last time we were talking about which episodes people were recommending to their friends. Just make sure it's not this one. Never this one. Episode one of season four, or the forgotten episode, as they call it.

Also like and subscribe. Bye-bye. Bye now. also like and subscribe bye bye bye now hey guys minor league fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of it's the Bobcat and Steve show Andrew is most certainly a shorts guy Gavin likes

toys Jeff discusses a sucky new invention Andrew's bed is broken did you know about the Canadian McGriddle? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All this and more on the next episode of F*** Face.