Regulation Podcast - Season 4, Year 3, Volume 1, Episode 107 // Future Us is as Lazy as Current We

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about bad intros, what makes a comment leaver, ass backing distance, time travel gummies, banned from NHL 22, most embarrassing Anal Passage, best in the world at dog tragedy, a new electrical problem, Geoff's swan documented, and bread tags. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and Backbone (http://playbackbone.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. He jumped the gun. He left. He panicked. I was just going to get into what this episode was or what the last one was. Were you there for the last one, Eric? Yeah. You were. You left the next day. I'm sorry. I was just trying to remember the timeline. That's fine.

You're all good. We're still waiting for Gavin, and then I can get right into it, and then it's all on you guys. Another 30 seconds, and he should be here. Just 30 more seconds. So if there's any pleasantries you want to get out of the way. No, I feel pretty good about pleasantries. Jeff, anything pleasant? I have nothing pleasant to say.

Oh. I have nothing unpleasant to say either. Okay, you're just neutral. Yeah, that's good. That's an important clarification. I thought maybe this was going to be like you were in a Gavin mood. Oh! No, I feel way better than gavin okay cool i got a quick pleasantry dairy queen has its own like menu in texas i learned last night i thought

that was very weird like they have they operate on a different level in texas like it has its own slogan it has its own website it's not even originating in texas no i just i thought that was very strange it sucks for uh face jam it's like oh it's like truly awful and what oh just because like people want you to cover their their oh we went the first time we tried to do dairy queen they didn't have the food so we had to eat oh we need like a mcrib that's great i that was weird i was looking at their mascots because i forgot I saw like an old Mr. Misty ad with Dennis the Menace oh yeah they had fucking Dennis the Menace was their mascot for a while why hell yeah what happened with that and he was their mascot from like 77 until 2002 where they

were like kids don't know who Dennis the Menace is anymore like there's no he is completely irrelevant in the general culture scape. Let's get a new mascot that's just lips. Just floating lips that talk. It's just strange. I will say that Dennis the Menace 90's movie with the kid from Rushmore as Dennis

and then I think Walter Matthau Yes, it was Walter Matthau. Was fucking awesome. I don't know if you guys have seen it lately. I remember it being very very good. I don't know if you guys have seen it lately yes I remember being very very good I don't know if the movie's great but Christopher Lloyd is so fucking scary is the villain in that movie like way beyond what a villain should be in a kid's movie a kid's movie absolutely he is so fucking creepy remember like Mr. Wilson was like i feel like the subplot was mr wilson was like we're doing horticulture and he was like about to he's about to have a a rare orchid bloom for the

first time in like 50 years and he was trying to keep dennis away from that does that sound right i mean it does but it also feels like the plot to an nes game that's true that's the plot of the nes like it feels the same we just had this kind of like similar conversation in Face Jam because we just had Dairy Queen and the thing that I brought up is that Dennis there's two Dennis the Menaces

are you aware of this? I think we didn't we talk about this on the show that there's like a British Dennis the Menace that has nothing to do with the other Dennis they just coincidentally existed at the same time that's news to me look no we talked about this on this show on this show on this show we talked about it on face jam and it was like i couldn't believe there look at his little gremlin dog i think i think i would remember if we talked about it on this show.

Now that Gavin is late. Look at this fucking thing. Look at this. I'm pretty sure... Hey, Gavin. What's up, buddy? My mic was reset. I had to re-put in all my... Do I sound the same? Yeah, you sound good. You sound fine. You sound flustered because you're three minutes late.

Are we talking the Beano? Are we talking Dennis the Menace? What's going on? Okay, so this is episode 107. The last episode was all about a home vibe inspector, how to buy a house, getting trench foot in the bathtub, the big bad werewolf,

and the jackass too spicy icy. So this is episode 107. Go nuts. We talked about the Dennis the Menace thing before, right, Gavin, on the show? The British Dennis the Menace? I don't remember that. How Dennis the Menace was invented one day apart from Dennis the Menace. We've talked about this on here before.

We've never had this conversation. Eric said they talked about it on Face Jam. I don't remember these pictures or ever talking about this. I don't think we did photos, but we definitely talked about it. Nick doesn't remember it either. Maybe it was in like i talked about it nick doesn't remember it either maybe it was like a post you guys talked about it in the post i remember as a kid seeing uh clips from the movie and wondering why they cast like a little blonde kid as dennis the menace when he looks absolutely nothing and i was like where the hell's nasher wait his name's nasher the little dog the little dog's nasher that's a great name for a dog uh eric wants

us to do an intro and nick said yeah oh no he's saying yeah look at his teeth i thought he was like aggressively supporting uh hello and welcome to episode 107 of the face podcast my name is jeff ramsay with me as always gavin free andrew pant In no particular order, I like and hate them the exact same amount. No favorites to play there. This is year three, finally. No. Yeah. Fuck.

Yeah, year three. Yeah, for a while. Season four, year three, volume one, episode 107. I will say the intros faced me recently and in an unexpected way, somebody reached out and said that we skipped an episode number that we went from like 86 to 88. And I was like, that that'd be funny if that was true. If we have been one week off this entire time, that would be great. So then I went to confirm it and our intros are all over the fucking place.

And it was a nightmare to try to determine when we said an episode name or not you soundboard please nick if you could clip that for me i'll need that for the break show oh it's like okay is it in the beginning or is it 35 minutes into this episode i don't know where to look it could be be anywhere. You really faced yourself with that, Andrew. It was unfortunate. Yeah, I don't think I did anything wrong. He's the most disruptive intro person in the history of the show.

You think I'm the disruptive intro person? Yes, I do. That's fair. I'm not even actually going to argue that. I think that's probably right. I don't intentionally mean to be, so I'm not going to fight you on it. You argued against intros for like 30 episodes i did well because we sometimes talk about like we will continue a conversation in a way i don't know just it felt like we're an unstructured show and the intros

felt structured man you know what's hard to talk about is explaining our podcast to strangers i uh i was in uh i was out of town over the weekend doing a convention, like a day job, Rooster Teeth convention type thing. And so I was just signing autographs and sitting at a booth like voice actors do. And I talked to so many regulation listeners. Actually, without a fault, almost every... I kept a checkmark on the table every time somebody talked about either of the three podcasts i'm on and congratulations face destroyed the other two uh but uh but i will say red versus blue destroyed face it wasn't even fucking close

but almost almost everybody who came up to me uh because i made reverse blue like 100 years ago and i make face today but uh almost uh to the t everybody that came up to me said hey i uh you know i i wanted to come up and say i'm a regulation listener but i don't know is this a comment is having a conversation with you a comment am i a comment lever and i had to be like absolutely no i said no no i said here's what i said i said there are two entirely separate things what you are if you come up to me in person and have a conversation with me you're a conversation haver it's totally different that's ridiculous the whole point of a comment lever is like who leaves comments who goes out of their way to actually go and seek out other

people's content and leave a comment if they go up to you in person that's what that's one beyond no but it's not i disagree i struggle first of all i feel like a comment, if they got to you in person, that's one beyond. No. I disagree. First of all, I feel like a comment needs to be a thing that is in a public space that people can see. Secondly, you're having to make an assumption on motive. The person who's talking to Jeff may not have been there to see Jeff specifically, and learned he was there while there. As the person who coined the term comment leaver, Eric, I'm going to need you to chime in on this. I agree with Gavin.

This is the same to me as a DM. Insanity. Okay. It's like a DM. Hang on. I'm not, Jeff. Hang on. Hang on.

I'm not done. It's the same as a DM where somebody is messaging you directly. To me, it's the same. They're commenting about the show. They're commenting to you about the thing that they listen to. And that's fine. Be a regulation listener. And then you leave a comment,

your comment lever, and that's fine. But that's what it is. No, I don't. I think that that's a terrible analogy. There's no such thing as an IRL DM. They're not leaving it anywhere.

It's like, as Nick said in the comments, there's no paper trail. It's going out into the ether. It's not being left anywhere. But you're bringing it here. It could be. But you brought it somewhere.

You're saying it's not anywhere, but you've brought it here. Oh my God. Point to where it's written down. Point to where it's left. As someone who used to be a comment lever, a straight up comment lever

on Rooster Teeth, even before it was called that, redvsblue.com, I was a comment lever. And I teeth even before it was called that red versus blue.com i was a comment lever and i went out of my way one day to become an in real life person that was the extra step i flew to new york i met you you told everyone my fly was down i'd taken it a step further at that point yeah that's a conversation habit yeah so you're just arguing the point you just your entire point is that there's a different layer to it. That it's a different thing.

It's totally different. Comment lever denotes a written conversation. It denotes something that's being left for somebody to find later in written form. I guess I'm just trying to organize them in a hierarchy. Comment. Definition.

A verbal or written remark. Expressing an opinion or reaction. Okay. That's what I'm saying. You can't be the third one. You can't skip number two. You go regulation listener, you go comment lever, and then whatever you talk to Jeff about, you've gone through comment lever.

You've already become one, and you're now into the step above it. That's my point. So if you were walking down the street, right, and you see Nicolas Cage on the side of the road, like fucking having a Pepsi and you walk up to him, you go, hey, Nicolas Cage, just want to say I really loved Con Air. Big fan. He goes, thank you. Are you a comment lever? Yeah. OK, wait, I'll say this.

I think it's ludicrous. But Eric read the definition of comment, and it fits, and if anything, I'm a dictionary stickler. Dictionary kid number two. Yeah, dictionary kid. I'm a dictionary kid.

Everybody, that should be plainly obvious just from the tater tot conversation alone, so I got to go with the dictionary. I will accede that point, but I still think in the spirit of it, it's wrong. Okay, so here's the thing. Everyone keeps saying, like,

oh, comment leaver. No, you're just leaving a comment. You've left a comment. You've walked by someone and you said this thing. You've left a comment. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You're just a comment leaver. Yeah, it's the difference between listening and talking. Yes! Thank you, Gavin! That's it. That's all it is. That's it. That's the difference between listening and talking. Yes, thank you, Gavin. That's it.

That's all it is. That's it. That's the delineation. I would like to just clarify your position, Gavin. So you think that somebody who talks to Jeff at a convention went there. They are in the conversation haver camp, but to become a conversation haver, you have to walk through comment lever. You have to go down the comment lever path it's like a monopoly like you have to go past comment lever to advance

around the corner there's no there's no chance card that lets you skip comment lever you've you've become one you've left the comment wow okay i really did not expect this to turn into such a hotly debated thing it wasn't even the point of the conversation. Where I was going with it is, like, I'd love to hear what the audience has to say. I assumed because we were having a conversation in person, we were conversation havers. If you want to call that a comment leaver,

I guess they left me a comment, and then I returned them with a comment, and then they left me another comment, and then I comment back, and then they comment back, and then after 30 or so seconds of exchanging comments, they leave, and I consider that a conversation. But it was really just a branched series

of comments when you look at it, I guess. Fine. I'm down with that. Whatever you guys want. Just think of the comment leaving we're doing right now between the four to five of us. This is phenomenal. However, the point I was going to make is

you wouldn't believe all the baseballs I signed. Oh. Almost more than anything else, I signed a bunch of Zimmer cards, which as always is an honor, an honor to sign a Don Zimmer card, and I signed maybe 15 of them. But the thing that people brought up. And I signed maybe 15 of them.

But the thing that people brought up, and I signed some shirts, I signed some like jet scheme apparel. I signed some like boys of Zimmer stuff. One of the vinyl or one of the, we decided it's not a flag, it's a banner. Signed one of those. But so many people brought up baseballs. Now, three or four people brought up baseballs.

They were pre-hit by us for like from the sale. But lot of people just brought bought brand new baseballs and just had me sign them and it got me thinking i think we're a baseballs podcast not a baseball podcast but specifically baseballs like the actual tool used in baseball yeah but we've we've done more runs of bats than balls well that's we i have 400 baseballs in my library right now that are waiting to be hit, so that won't be the case forever. That's fair. I mean, it eventually would swap.

I'm just trying to think of what we can do more of. I didn't sign a single baseball bat, face or otherwise, but I signed 35 baseballs probably. Well, it's tough to bring in a bat, I feel, to a conventional baseball bat. Are you kidding, dude? Have you seen how many

people bring in swords that are 11 feet tall that have shotguns piecebonded on them? Like, everything people bring to a convention is some sort of a fantastical sci-fi weapon. That's fair. I had a dude bring in a baseball bat as a part of his costume that had, like,

railroad ties hammered through it, but he didn't ask me to sign it, so that doesn't count. That was a legitimate weapon. Maybe we're a baseball accessories podcast. Like it's not the game itself, but the equipment required. Is the football in football

an accessory though? I feel like it's like the main bit. It's a tool of the game. Or whatever, the tool of the trade? I don't remember the wording on that card. Like a towel. Tool of the trade. Yeah, it's a tool of the trade for sure. I think my favorite part of the whole,

this is going back to the what is and isn't a comment lever. My favorite part is just thinking of all of the regulation listeners who know that they can only become a comment lever once and that it's permanent. And they're just keeping their mouth shut and not writing stuff. I don't want to lose status as a regulation listener. You know what it's like? It's like playing

a global game of infection. It's like someday there's going to be one regulation listener left and as soon as we find them and make them talk, have an in-person comment session with them then we'll flip and we'll start over all over it would be fun to start a spreadsheet or a survey of like when did you turn and like fill out the form of like what made you consciously become

did it happen did it happen before we delineated or did you make the decision to to change from regulation listener to comment lever and what i would love i would love to know just the percentage of those people that were angered enough by andrew to make a comment it will always be because of what andrew said i think it's like 64 of all comment levers became comment levers because of something Andrew said. What about if somebody, what if a mime attempted to, like if a mime was interacting with you, is a mime a comment lever? Is performance

art a comment? Well, if the mime typed a comment, what do you mean? Well, no, like if a mime, you know how a mime performs, lasso or whatever, like if a mime tried to have a conversation through typical mime moves. Like if a mime pretended to go up an escalator towards you, what do you mean? Yeah, like if you tried to communicate that, because obviously you can have nonverbal communication.

But I'm just curious where the mime falls in the category of comment leaders. Eric, can you read the definition of comment again? We'll get to the bottom of this. I mean, but the thing is, like, he's still caught a verbal or written remark expressing an opinion or reaction. So it's not verbal. It's not verbal or written, so no. But Gavin immediately blew it up,

and he said, like, type it, and that would be it. Listen, if somebody does performance art about this show, they're a fucking comment leaver, period. They might be a comment performer, but I don't know if they're leaving it. Okay, I will say that they would be a comment

performer. Yeah. Thank you. If someone says something to you in sign language, that's not written or verbal, but I would say it still is a comment. Totally. 100%. Yeah, that's a form of communication. That's why I tried to clarify. If we gotta live by the rules of the dictionary, we gotta live by the rules of the dictionary. That's all I'm saying. Alright's why I tried to clarify. If we got to live by the rules of the dictionary, we got to live by the rules of the dictionary. That's all I'm saying.

All right. Can I ask a completely unrelated question? Please. I was listening to, you know that song, Back That Ass Up? Mm-hmm. I was listening to that recently. Mm-hmm.

And I was curious, what's the maximum distance you could request for somebody to back the ass up? I'd like to see you back the ass up 26.2 miles That's the thing like if you're pulling binoculars out I feel like it's rude like what is the courtesy for the back that ass up request? I think you're asking how much the ass should be backed up or from how yeah How far does the ass need to be backed up before like you need to take steps forward like

i think it's inappropriate for you to make that request i think it's four feet see i think it might be a dinklage i think a dinklage is the perfect length for a back that ass up request and remind me exactly how much the dinklage is uh in uh i don't know a more traditional it's one yard one yard so three feet so. I think that's the math. I think anything outside of the dinklage range is inappropriate for you to ask for that ass to be backed up. I think that's fair. Gavin? I was equating it to doors.

Like, there's nothing worse than when somebody holds a door open for you and you're too far away and you have to do that little run thing. Like, it's definite rules of etiquette within the move. Yeah. I was just curious what you guys thought. What the range was. I think a dinklage is fair yeah okay it's important hey uh i not not to go back on comment levers uh but i did and i didn't expect to transition into this but this is a great segue i did see

one comment on i believe twitter the other day that i thought was so funny and so clever i i and i didn't write it down and I didn't write down their name. So I have no idea who to attribute it to, but to the person that said, essentially, I'm going to surmise. Is it possible that Andrew is a time traveler who time traveled back to steal the gummies from himself to save some future trauma or tragedy from happening?

I thought that was brilliant. And I would like to know, Andrew, what do you think the chances are that future you traveled back in time to steal those gummies to avert some sort of tragedy? My thought process, I also saw that. I thought that's really funny. Then I had a brief moment of what if and then went back to that's really funny. I'd give it a three percent, a three percent chance that I time traveled and saved myself

from gummies because none of the other stuff was taken. Only the tampered with stuff was removed from my order. I had multiple things in that order that were very stealable. That's why I think that lends more to the idea that it was you protecting yourself from this. That's what I'm saying.

Like that builds the case that it was future me going back. That means the gummies must have been so bad. Otherwise, you would have come back and stolen the Bulverill and all that other stuff. Yeah, there's so many things that have happened in my life that would have been better to be avoided. So I feel like I don't know why I chose the gummies

as the thing that had to be altered. Dude, who knows how bad things could have gone if you didn't have those gummies. That's the thing. You might have gotten an extra large chunk of metal and then somehow it went through your body and you like it like got caught in your urethra and like ripped your dick off or something.

Who knows? I can't imagine with all the ankle rolls I've had that that is the moment that I decide to prevent because it seemed pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme. Well, one would see, one would assume that time travel to right wrongs or to fix a path is probably used exceedingly sparingly because of butterfly effects.

So I think it would just lend credence to the idea that these gummies were, if this were to have happened, catastrophic to your future. Yeah, I think that's a hard point to argue against. And I think it's interesting if that's possible. And if we're if we're allowing for the idea that Andrew has the ability to time travel Gavin I think it stands to reason that you and I both certainly also have it and probably probably have used it even more often

than Andrew so I think maybe we should all just like keep our eyes open for the next couple just everyone's going on around you look look for a you hiding behind a tree or something and if anything shows up missing or seems weird, take a second, write it down. And so we can digest it and see if maybe future f***face is f***ing with current f***face. I'm going to take inventory of the back of all my shirts just so I have a higher chance of recognizing myself.

I'm running away. The problem is future you would know you did that Ah shit Fuck It's gotta be really hard to catch future us I love the idea of future you being like I gotta wear a shirt I don't currently own For this to work

If I do that it's the only obstacle Do you think there's the possibility Andrew That in the dark future you Snuck into your bathroom and pulled the shampoo out of your ass and put it back on the shelf i so hope so i really hope i hope you get like it's like a three wish scenario and my first one was to remove the metal gummies my second was to gently push the shampoo bottle out of the ass to put on the counter.

You're about to be in a situation in a hospital where you're like, I found it, I swear. What if that's Jeff's ghost? The gentle ghost. What if it's just Jeff? It's future Jeff! Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho this podcast. It's so plausible. I would absolutely push myself over gently. Oh. I feel like the law

of this podcast is already so complex that now we're adding a time travel element to it. Time travel element. It's going to get real messy. It just makes sense to me. I will say,

you know, we're talking about earlier about how future us would know everything past us was going to do so we'd know how to safeguard it. I will say the one thing I think that current us has going for us is,

uh, this is confusing to say the, the, the current us has going for we, I guess, uh, is that, uh,

is that future us is probably as lazy as current. We, and so the future us isn't going to put that much work into it, right? They're going to half ass most of it. So there's a pretty good chance we could catch us down the road. Just knowing our ethic. Yeah.

Yeah, I think we're screwed. Both versions of us. I just don't understand why future you let you go down the stairs with the fire department. Like, why are they- Yeah, that's- I'm questioning future me's choices. Future you didn't, like, hit the snooze on the alarm the day you decided to go an hour early to my hubby's bagels. Oh, God. I'll stop you from leaving that place without taking a shit first.

Man, time travel's wild. Yeah. What a great invention. As far as, like, comments and stuff making us laugh, I did, somebody sent me a really funny screenshot of they they got banned from i believe nhl 22 i'm guessing because they named their creative team the vancouver child kickers and they got like a whole full like written email about it about how it goes against their term of service and that this was considered

a serious violation and that they are banned from playing for a full week and that their account has been flagged and essentially it's like the next band you're done and we're going to be watching you very closely was was the email so i think triggered it the child the word child or the fact that it was parent kicker yeah i think the pairing of the yeah the vancouver child kicker i'll see if i can find the email that they tweeted at me so i've been trying to reach out to ea to see if we can we can serve this they did the appeal process and they were denied an appeal so it's it's in a bad spot with the case but uh i thought that was very funny i felt terrible for this person as somebody who has been banned wrongfully on xbox live i related to their pain

yeah i got banned because i named my griffball team team scrotum and uh i wasn't able to participate in one of the tournaments did you uh along those same lines did you see that comment lever i think it might have been on instagram who posted that they uh they got kicked out of the spongebob store at i guess universal studios maybe because they had an anal passage shirt on no oh no that got me what that got me thinking because i have one of those anal passage shirts what is the most embarrassing place i could wear an anal passage shirt to? Like, could I wear it to my colonoscopy? Or would that be too on the nose?

I think that's on the nose. Could I wear it to a funeral? Probably if Biden gave you that Medal of Freedom or whatever. Except the Medal of Freedom in an anal passage shirt. That would be good. Drop the email in the thing. Just read it quickly. While reviewing your account, we identified

the following violation. NHL 22 inappropriate content references the children. Name Vancouver Child Kicker. So I think any mention of child you'd get banned. I guess, yeah, by definition of reference to children but that doesn't seem i don't know i feel like they're exceptions what if what if

you what if they submitted the name do not kick children because that's like you couldn't get any more hard-nosed against the idea that would really i think put put EA in a tough spot. They're not going to be anti-that. They can't support child kicking. It's like an actual thing. Yeah, I know that's interesting. Vancouver adult kicker.

Oh my god. Hey, what did you guys want to talk about today? We had homework from the last show. Oh yeah, we had homework. We had, oh, two things. So we had, oh, three things. We had homework. We should probably talk about the bread ties

we forgot to talk about. Okay. Because that's a thing. And then we should talk about... Do, no, I think we should hold off. I don't, we, that should be... Okay, because that leads me to a whole, that whole side idea you and I

had Andrew yeah I think we got to hold off on the we might get sniped on that if we leave that we got to hold off on that all right well we're not going to talk about the thing that was bleeped wherever you're going you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit.

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Yeah, what's your homework? What was your homework, Andrew? Do it. My homework, well, the homework you assigned for all of us was that we had to come up with what we were the best in the world at and what we thought the other members of this podcast might be the best in the world at. That was the homework. Oh, okay. Yeah, Gavin, did you do your homework?

Sort of. Sort of? Okay. I don't really understand the homework. What do you mean? Well, because if either one of us were best at anything, we wouldn't be doing this. That's not true. That's a fear we've gone over before. There is some things that you could be best at that there is no glory for.

Let me read yours. A podcast homework reminder that we said we would think about what we are best in the world at and what we think others would be best at. But you meant other people on this podcast. I did. Oh, okay. If you wanted to go broader, I think that's fine. But you meant other people on this podcast. I did. Oh, okay. If you wanted to go broader, I think that's fine. I mean, it's Jeff's thing.

All right. Who wants to go first? Yeah, I mean, I don't even remember assigning the homework, so I don't really give a shit one way or the other. I thought this was Andrew homework. No, this is Jeff homework. It feels like Andrew homework. I remember asking if you guys had any idea

what you thought you were the best in the world at, for sure. The end of the last episode we recorded, you're like, homework for all of us. This is what we'll do and we'll talk about it on the next thing. Yeah, but see, the way you just said that, it sounds like something you would say. And it feels like maybe you said it. Well, it's not my fault that you sounded like me, apparently.

Maybe that's what I'm the best in the world at. Oh, shit. No, there's no way. Jeff replied in a funny way. He said, I guess you're the best at remembering homework. Which I thought was a snipe at me when I'm just trying to get your fucking bit done. This is your idea. You sound like a compliment to me.

I don't know why you're coming at me. I'm just trying to do a thing for you. Gavin, can we agree, you and I, that without re-litigating the past, that this feels way more like an Andrew thing than a me thing? I would agree. I don't care how it feels. It is a youth thing.

I think it's yours now, though. You're so passionate about it. I think your passion has kind of taken ownership over it. No, we don't have to do it at all. I'm just trying to make sure your thing gets done. Andrew, would you say this is a betrayal by Jeff? I would say this is a definite betrayal by Jeff. 100%.

I'm trying to be Team Jeff here. That's following up pretty quickly after Eric betrayed you. When did Eric betray me? Eric betrayed you over the Jeopardy rules. Oh, I was in the wrong on that one. That was a completely justified betrayal. This one does not feel like that. I don't think calling it a betrayal is even wrong.

We talked about that nobody had specifically worded it, but it was never clarified. I never, people have said that I've changed the rules. It's not that I changed them. I just never vocalized them. And I realized that that's where it went wrong. Right. That's the constant rule in my head.

These podcasts just aren't the same without greg from accounting finance sorry from finance shit very different greg from accounting was clearly never on the podcast andrew what what would you say you're the best in the world at well i have three things that i wrote down because I took your homework assignment seriously. Whoever gave the homework is debatable. It's not. It's absolutely you.

Number one, I don't think I am the best of the world at this anymore. But when I was thinking about it, I do truly believe that at one point in time, I was the best at the sewing machine in the world. Like, hands down not never close so far from being a great athlete was never incredible in that regard but specifically

the sewing machine i think i was amazing at it i think i was the best in the world in my prime in my sewing machine day prime number one number two on my list and i'm 80 sure i wrote i wrote a little like percentage of how confident i am in this i think i might be the best in the world at waking up when needed without an alarm i'm highly skilled at this you slept in a bathtub for five hours yeah but i didn't have anything to do the next day like i didn't if i have a thing if i'm scheduled for something or i need to be up at a certain time, I will hit it within five minutes without an alarm. You've got a good internal alarm. My internal clock is incredible.

Why don't you use it then? Because there have been several times where you've had to get up early and to avoid oversleeping, you stay up all night. Or you lie down in the bath. That's a great point. Use your talent if you're, you lie down in the bath. That's, you know, that's a great point. That is your talent. You're the best in all of the world. I don't because I set an alarm because I don't fully trust it, but I am consistent at it. I've never missed anything because I slept through it.

I always get up early regardless of the time. You may have poked a giant hole in that. I may have to remove that from the list. That's why it was 80%. Okay. But generally speaking, I feel pretty good at at that but i think you're right there are times in the show where i've said i've had to do things to to make sure i was there on time it's just a paranoid thing for the show specifically 80 so that's my 80 100 i think there's no denying this

i feel very strongly about this i think 100 i 100%, I am the best Xbox Garfield Kart Furious Racing player in the world who has had part of their bowel surgically removed. I feel strongly on that. Uh, I don't think there's any debate about that. When did you lose some bowel? I was like five. Oh, okay. Long time ago.

Had to have an operation, operation was a whole thing but i don't think there's anyone better at garfield cart furious racing on the xbox who has also had part of their bowel removed and it's any part so like even if someone had a different part of the bowel any part i mean it's a lot you got a lot to work with on the bowel it's a lot of area any opposition to that you got a fucking hole to poke in that g, I think you might be telling me that. I think you might be right. I think that might be, I think that's my, my current,

we'll have to treat it with the same level of detective work as my overkill clip. We'll have to start interviewing other people on the leaderboard, see if all their bowel is there, but I think you could be right. That's fair. Yeah. I don't have no issue.

Definitely. It's definitely something that's researchable. So those are mine. I'd love to hear what you guys think you're the best at. Gavin, do you want to go or do you want me to go? My one, I think I'm the best at when something goes wrong and I get filled with anxiety, I immediately skip to the worst case scenario

and bottle it all up and deal with it at 3 a.m. I'm the best at doing that. I can carry on doing something after receiving, you know, bad news or like everything's gone wrong. Just swallow it up, worry about it at three, but I can still continue functioning that day.

I'm pretty good at it. So 3am is the worst time to ever try to reach you. 3am is the worst time just for anything ever. Like if you're awake at 3am.m., it's a disaster. Something's going wrong. That's true. It's not like late night or early morning. It's just a horrendous hour.

The only reason to be joyfully awake at 3 in the morning is if you're into astrology or astronomy in some way and you're, like, wanting to see a comet go by or a blood moon or something. Lunar eclipse. I feel like I had a lot of 3 a.m., 4 a.m. Halo 2 nights. Outside of that, I can't think of any positive times in which I was up at that hour.

If I'm playing video games at 3 a.m., I'm yelling at myself while playing video games at 3 a.m that i stayed up an hour too late and i'm gonna regret it yeah you think two is the cutoff yeah for me at this yeah because two is still like the previous night no just be fair i'm saying when i'm like 13 when i'm 12 3 a.m i haven't i can't remember the last time i was up until 3 a.m playing video game it's been a while i guess donkey k 64, where we did that bet. That'd be the last time. Okay, so your thing, you're

the best in the world at blocking out... Persponing anxiety until 3. Okay. Okay. That's good. Yeah, I can't argue with that. That feels that possible. I could see that. It feels likely, honestly, to me. It does. Like, it makes a lot of sense to me when you describe it like that.

I actually completely buy in. I buy into that in a way that I'm not sure I do with some of Andrew's stuff. But yeah, absolutely. What about you, Jeff? Well, similar to Andrew, I don't know if I currently am still,

but there was a point in time when I would stake my life that I was the best head bobber on Earth when I was making Red vs. Blue. I don't think there was anybody that could come even close to bobbing heads like I did in Machinima. I've been a witness to it,

that he could do it without even listening. He could just do it based on looking at the waveform. It was insane. I think that, once again, not entirely certain that I still am, but I would feel pretty good about it. I think that there was a point in time when I was the best Pego player on Earth.

And I feel very confident about that. And the third thing is I think I'm the best in the world at compartmentalizing dog tragedy. I know it's not going to go in a funny direction, but it's a really funny sentence.

No, it is what it is, right? I've dealt with a lot of dog tragedy over the last year or so. It's manifested itself into very funny stories on the podcast, but they weren't funny moments. And I did a really good job of compartmentalizing until I got through them and cried in the shower or whatnot, or on a park bench the next day.

I mean, your ability to just do f*** face amongst the rest of your life is, I think, what you're best at. Well, it does sometimes feel like I'm in this library talking to you guys for an hour and I look out the window and the entire world is on fire. Or at least my entire world is on fire. Or at least my entire world is on fire.

Just like shit and flames everywhere. But not always. So just to clarify your head, Bob, because I misinterpreted what you meant originally. You mean machinima, like when you're filming, to make it seem like the character is talking, the movement of their head. Yeah, machinimation. you're filming to make it seem like the character is talking the movement of their head yeah machinimation literal head like I was imagining

like a Wayne's World like head bob like you're really like music no I wouldn't even put myself like in the top 75 percentile of that I got no skills in IRL head bobbing no okay I have a question

how does percentile differ from percent? They're spelled differently. He's right. Good point. Move on. Percentile. Each of the hundred equal... What the fuck? What the fuck is this?

They just seem like they can always be interchangeable. I'm not ever in a situation where it's like, oh, he should have said percentile instead of percent. I... Hold on. Now I gotta know. Like it's always talked about with kids. Alright, Nick, go ahead and cut out all this dead air.

I'm sorry, I don't have... I was reading what you wrote, Eric. You wrote a thing... Yeah, I don't have... I was reading what you wrote, Eric. You wrote a thing. Yeah, I wrote it for Jeff. This is the thing where I cue him up, and then he reads it, and then we continue with the show. You just posted. The way it typically works.

I was Googling it. The percentage is a means of comparing quantities. A percentile is used to display... Is this what Eric wrote? Yeah, I'm reading what Eric wrote. He just said, read what Eric wrote. I thought you were reading that off Google. No!

God, I'm sorry about that, Eric. I think Eric broke that. I think Eric caused that. What? How was that me? That's me giving the answer, and then one of you takes the ball, gives the answer to the audience,

and we continue the show. We can't freaking read the ball first. You know what? I feel responsible more than Eric does. Typically, he's right. One of us will read what he wrote, and then that will carry on. What were you doing, Gavin?

Why were you not paying attention to the screen? It was just quiet, and then Gavin went, who's going to read that? Like, you? What were you doing? Did I say who's going to read that? Like you? What were you doing? Did I say who's going to read that? You asked.

You asked who's going to read what Eric wrote. Did you not say that? That's how we got here. Why didn't you read it? I was just trying to come up with the answer in my own head. I was just reading it in my head. That's great. That's very helpful. just trying to come up with the answer in my own head. I was just reading it in my head. That's great.

That's very helpful. Anyway, this is a hard podcast to explain to people who have never heard of F*** Face, but who might be familiar with Red vs. Blue. I meant to come back around to that about 40 minutes ago. I just realized I never finished my point. Anyway, it's hard to quantify

or hard to explain succinctly what this podcast is. And I encourage you to try someday. I have a new electrical problem. What's your electrical problem? I mean, I assume it's one I've had the entire time, but I've narrowed it down.

Sometimes my toilet, I got one of those little bidets. It will warm the seat and it will blast it will blast the water up the crev I know that everyone's a fan of those on this podcast they had to run a new outlet to the toilet

to put it in I guess daisy chain off the nearest one and sometimes it trips the breaker and I couldn't figure out why and it turns out if i'm sat on the toilet and someone rings my doorbell the breaker trips and the toilet turns off which you know for normal toilets not a problem if you've got no power but i can't flush it without power there's like a manual release i guess where you have to like take off one of the side panels

if you want to actually manually flush it, but it uses power to flush. So now that I know this, I'm so paranoid that when I'm taking a lovely number two, I'm so paranoid that I'm going to get delivery or someone's going to ring the doorbell because then I'll have to leave a bunch of turd in the toilet while I waddle over to the breaker and get it back on.

And it's just a bizarre problem to have i don't know why two areas of the house are on the same two different areas are on the same breaker it's literally like attic light toilet and doorbell are all in one breaker so is there hmm so i i think what's happening is, is the toilet is drawing, like, basically right at the limit of whatever that breaker allows. And just ringing the doorbell tips it over the edge. That is so fucking funny and makes me so excited

to ding-dong ditch you for hours of the day and night for the rest of your life. It's been hard navigating leaving a toilet full of poo and hoping that Meg doesn't find it while I sprint to the circuit break.

How many times has it happened? It's happened probably only three times. That's quite a few. But now that I've identified it, it's terrifying. I used to take the sort of stress-free shits, and now every shit is a stress. Huh.

So... We need to look into Jeff if we can somehow ring his doorbell remotely. Dude, I was way ahead of you. We absolutely need to figure that out. If we can trigger a doorbell ring remotely, anytime Gavin... I'll just text with you constantly i'll

just be like what are you doing right now what are you doing right now are you gonna go play halo do you get you're gonna do anything you're gonna take a dump okay cool uh i hesitate to bring this up because i it's not as funny as your story but the exact well minus the doorbell part the same thing happens with my uh bidet toilet as well about once a week it's the same thing they had to put a plug in into the wall so it's daisy chained onto my laundry room and about once a week uh one of the plugs there will trip up like a little breaker in the plug you know yeah and uh and then i lose access to my toilet and my whole bathroom actually uh and then so i have to i have to just go out and

push that button back in and then it works uh so not very funny but one funny thing kind of funny thing did happen the first time this occurred we didn't know what to do we couldn't figure it out i think i had to go out of town for briefly so emily called an electrician to come and take a look at it and he couldn't figure it out and he couldn't figure it out and he couldn't figure it out and he eventually he eventually ripped the walls out of the bathroom to follow the wiring to figure it out and he still couldn't figure it out and then joey uh who you know from gogo now yeah he's also like a carpenter he came over and he was like trying to help emily and this guy and he looked and he goes oh you're breaker stripped and he just hit the button and everything worked again, and I had to have all my

walls re-drywalled. I didn't pay for it. The guy did it at cost, but yeah, the guy a five-second fix turned into three days of painting and drywall. Three fucking days.

That is such a classic U-House problem. i can't believe that with all the people involved nobody thought check the breaker just no it's not not even zero weird right because it's not just like the breaker in the wall it's literally the breaker on a plug right the gfci yeah like the gsci thing yeah and so he just like joey figured it out but you know uh because he's a common sense dude but yeah But yeah, that guy ended up on what should have taken him one second. He spent three days at my house all day long

sweating his ass off. The motto of the story is just, you got to keep shit simple. Like the more expensive and fancy something is, the more stupid problems you end up with. Like Jeff's fridge is just a custom size, much more expensive. And I got a fricking toilet that I can't flush with my hand.

That might be the funniest thing on earth, dude. If somebody rings your doorbell, if somebody rings your fucking doorbell, you, you can't remove turds. Yeah. That's such a strange shit in my doorbell off.

I know somebody who every time they would get a phone call their internet would drop briefly on like their landline and so there would be times we'd be playing games and it would be fun to just call them if they they were like winning or something they had the lead but a shit bell connection is great jeff what if we you know those drinking birds like these things can we like attach that to his door and just have it ringing constantly but we have to we have to try to get creative with ways in which we can ring it multiple times without actually having to put the effort in of physically pushing it i love it dude that makes so much sense to me speaking speaking of bird i had somebody sent me your swan is kind of famous Jeff I don't know if

you know this is it really no I wasn't aware there is a documented history of your swan attacking people there is an Instagram video last year of a guy who was like wakeboarding on in that lake and he got attacked by the swan I have a photo of the swan mid-attack. Oh, my God! That's it! Look at him! He's like, oh! I swear to God! Dude, that's a freaking big swan. Look at the wingspan.

Tell me about it. Tell me about it. It's like an eagle. Is that what your face looked like when it was happening to you? I don't think I looked that cool. I think I looked even don't think i look that cool i think i look even worse yeah dude so that is that is swan confirmation that is the same he's about to get his back bit yeah that's rough yeah he uh the swan bites the guy's ankle and he eats hard he crashes immediately on impact the swan the swan takes him. It's a great Instagram video, but they said that

it flew like 150 yards. It was huge, the distance it covered. Yeah. Somebody's controlling that swan, right? That's a robot swan. Why would a swan do that? It's highly aggressive. I can't believe it.

For the record, by the way, if you are anywhere near Austin, Texas, stay away from that swan. It's very dangerous and very aggressive. I want nothing to do with that fucking thing. By the way, this photo is such validation to me. It is just as terrifying in picture form as I remember it being.

It's very intimidating. And he actually went down. The swan took him out and he was in the water with the swan. It's amazing he. And he actually went down. The swan took him out and he was in the water with the swan. It's amazing he survived. Did the swan keep at him? No, I guess it bit him and then it kind of held its ground for a minute and then it fucked off.

I don't think it really stuck around. It's just looking for the next person. It is, yeah. Exactly. Get out of my territory. Then flies away. Oh, that's awesome. So do we then do the list of what we think other people are the best at?

Oh, that's a great idea, Gavin. Wrap this up for Jeff's bit. I'll go with mine. I think Jeff's the f*** face bit. I don't know who's... I think Jeff is the best at long-term deception. Like, planting a lie, and then, you know know not revealing it for

years like the driving test or driving or you know some of the some of the ones that have some of the ones that are good 12 years old that are still going yeah yeah some of the ones that i don't even know about yet and i would say andrew is the best at pulling comedy from a small bathroom without even necessarily involving the toilet which is uh i think very impressive i think you're the best at that that's that's very specific that might be true what about you jeff uh i think gavin is the well i may be partial but i think he's i mean i think it goes without saying he's the best high-speed photographer in the world um but i think he's i think he's the best high-speed photographer in the world. But I think he's the best at taking something that's really... I think he's the best at distilling something down

that's very complicated into a way that I can understand it. He's really, really, really good at that. He's also the best at being a best friend I've ever had. Oh, yours was really nice. Yeah, you know, I'm a big-ass wimp in my old age. Andrew, I think you are the best at saying something that completely catches me off guard.

Like, you're the best person at coming out of left field I've ever met in my entire life. Like, it's not even close. I like left field. I've been there a while. Left field is always great. Is that a baseball term?

I assume so, right? Because I realize I use that phrase, but I have no knowledge of baseball. That's leaked across international waters to countries that don't have baseball. I feel like I've said that before, but I don't necessarily even understand the reference. Is the handedness of the batter what dictates that? What is the origin of left field? So you can't come out of left field for Jeff. It would have to be right field.

Yeah, I guess I'd be coming out of right field for Jeff in my head. I'm assuming it's based on the orientation of most batters who are right handed. Everyone be quiet. Everybody quiet. Eric's written something. I'll read it, okay? Eric says at 3.51 p.m. today, Eric said, Yes, the phrase came from baseball terminology referring to a play

in which the ball is thrown from the area covered by the left fielder to either home plate or first base, surprising the runner. That was no explanation to Gavin, I guarantee you. And would that be flipped for a left-handed batter? No, it's the same. The bases are in the same place, so it wouldn't be. Yeah, I guess the batting orientation is irrelevant. But also, baseball is a very right-handed sport

and very centered around, and all the rules are all basically built about being right-handed. Lefties are kind of... There are left-handers in baseball, but I feel like it's... It would be funny if a lefty stepped up to the plate and bases one and three swap that's and you can do

like a score multiplier with the amount of people you pass on your own team like there's a guy in first and second already and you have to go left you guys great in baseball just like the Savannah bananas that's about to go left you guys are reinventing baseball just like the savannah bananas that's about to say do you know the banana i had recently learned banana ball their rules their rule set is fantastic i try better than normal i tried to get tickets to

a game but they're sold out for the rest of the year do you know what the savannah bananas are gavin is that what jeff posted about the uh like there's like a baby banana every time and there's like people on stilts yeah yeah they do like entertainment style baseball instead of strict rules and they have their own rule set some of i think my favorite rules from banana ball are is if a player hits a foul ball into the stands and somebody catches it it's an out like the fans can eliminate players by catching it it is the best fucking rule ever. It's a great rule. The other, I think, favorite rule of theirs is if you let somebody walk. So if you throw four foul balls on a guy, he doesn't just get one base. He gets as many bases as he can possibly run to before the other team passes the ball to every position skilled player on the team.

So they just have to rapidly throw the ball around while one guy is sprinting as fast as he can. It's great. It's a great rule set. And the game is over at two hours come hell or hell water. Yes. That's the best rule of all. I think their average games are 90 minutes. So it's great.

I've never seen one. I think the way scoring works too is like you get a point per inning that you win. So if you score 10 runs in an inning and the other team scores two, you just win that inning and you get one point, which I think is kind of interesting, too.

Can we sponsor that team? I don't think they need us, man. I don't know. I don't know how that... I think it's a league. It'd be interesting to look at the league that they're in. I think it's a college baseball team. We could probably sponsor a singular funny object.

They'd probably let us do that like sponsor one dude's elbow for a game or something oh can we sponsor the uh the the thing on the side of the helmet that protects the ear it's the thing on the side of the helmet that protects the ear like the ear donut yeah yeah we'll sponsor one guy's ear donut for a season surely they'll let us do that what do you want to put on the ear donut face yeah just the name of the show okay i just wasn't yeah sure we could have a variety of choices uh standard ear across the year i think we could do we could become the official bread tag sponsor of the savannah bananas and we can donate bread tags for all of their bread uh tagging needs have you had

a bread tag yet have you received it yeah that's why i brought it up have you got any good have you got yours yet no andrew have you got yours yet i do yeah i haven't tried have you tried breading yeah so here's the deal. First off, it's beautiful. I mean, it's absolutely fucking beautiful. Let me guess. There's a reason they made it out of plastic. And the deal with the deal with to refresh the audience's memory that we were trying to solve a problem. And I would say ostensibly we did.

And I would say ostensibly we did. The problem being, you know what it's like when you get like a loaf of Wonder Bread or Wheat Bread or whatever it is you eat, 12 grain, whatever. And it's got that, it has a bread tie. Nobody likes a bread tie. Bread ties are lame, right? Or sometimes it'll have that bread tag. And the bread tag is cool because it'll say like, hey, the best by June 3rd or whatever. And it's kind of a clever little design,

but invariably after three or four times you use it as the plastic bins, one of the ends snaps off and then the bread ties fucking useless. And then you got to do the thing where you roll the bread and then you like shove the thing under the bread and sit on it. And then it's like, it's just, it's fucking dumb. Right?

So a uniform of the face decided we were going to solve that problem by creating a metal bread tag that does not bend and break. And I am proud. I am honored to say that F*** Face, it's either in the store now and been in the store for a while or it's about to be in the store. We have solved the problem of bread tags breaking. have solved the problem of bread tags breaking. These metal bread tags, these metal, these light blue sky blue face emblazoned with the date, June 19th,

2022 on them. Bread tags will never bend or break. However, it turns out that the bending part pretty integral, pretty integral to, to bread tag functionality. I'm going to go ahead and say impossible to get the wrapper, the plastic in the bread tag holder. It's just not going to happen. Because this fucker will not break. It will not bend. It's sturdy. Does that mean the gap is useful?

Yeah. No, the gap is regulation gap. It's just that without the bend, you just can't... So it doesn't work as a bread tag in the traditional sense. But it definitely looks like one. It's very pretty.

And even better, it's got a magnet on the back of it. So it's really, it's quite possibly the world's first bread tag kitchen magnet. That's permanent. I will say it's a rare problem for us. I feel like these are too high quality

is the problem. Yeah. Yeah, they're just real good. It's really sturdy. You can't bend it so it's too luxury and therefore too inconvenient yeah yeah this is a this is a show tag this is the kind of tag you bring out to brag to your friends at christmas dinner you know like when you pull the good plates out once a year the china or whatever you know when you polish up the the

the old 1955 Porsche to drive around on Sunday. It's the thing that you revere when all your friends, maybe your coworkers, maybe you're going to have your boss over for dinner and you want to impress him. This is the bread tag you pull out. Just don't try to use it as a bread tag.

I can't wait to get mine. I can't wait to see videos of people trying to use them. It's great. I'm curious if I really want to get a loaf of bread, right? I'm trying to think if I... I think I have one in my fridge. I think it would take me probably like five minutes. I think you could do it, but the time it would require

to slip it through. Why don't you try live on the podcast? I'll go get some bread. That's a good point. Why don't you do that? We'll end with Andrew trying to force a metal bread clip. I'll say while he's gone, I felt exactly like he did. And I did.

Hold on. Give the dog his pill. I took that five minutes to try to make it work. I was bound to determine and I gave up. So if he's able to do it, he's either lying or he's made of sturdier stuff. Because listening to you describe it, I'm almost 100% sure I could get it in.

I thought so too. I thought so too. Yeah, it's like one of those things where it's like, I kind of want the challenge of it now. I have the confidence. Yeah, I encourage you. I challenge you to make it work. I hope you can.

If people stop stealing my packages, then I'll give it a go. Did we find them? Did Jeff not find all your packages? Yeah, I found them. No, they found some, but Sarah was annoyed that someone took all of my achievement on a merch. Do you think Andrew has transitioned to the floor that contains his kitchen already? Do you think he's hurt his ankle yet? 100%. I was about to say, he's's hurt his ankle yet? A hundred percent.

I was about to say he's absolutely hurt his ankle. His mic is muted, which is a great point from Nick. He's screaming. Yeah. Screaming from the other room. We can't hear him. He's limping back right now.

It's going to be rough. Okay. So I have the bread. That was way faster than I was expecting. I was about to bring up laser tag and everything, but go ahead. I'm trying. I mean, I don't know what you mean by go ahead. I'm about to bring up laser tag and everything, but go ahead. I'm trying. I mean, I don't know what you mean by go ahead.

I'm trying to slip this. You definitely can't bend it. I mean, maybe with pliers, but it would. I'll say, too, one thing I did find out, I was showing it off to Emily, and she was agreeing that it's beautiful, and she was wondering why it was light blue, and I was like, I don't know, I think it's just what color they all are. Turns out that's not the case.

They're color dependent based on the day they were put out. So light blue is Monday. What? Apparently. Like if you see a bread tag and it's light blue at the store, you know that that bread has been out since Monday. If it's green it's been out since whatever day that is. Didn't know.

Seems to be struggling. I think, yeah, I'm ripping holes into the bread bag itself. Yeah. Trying to, it's pinching it. It's pretty sharp metal. It is pretty sharp metal. Yeah, I don't think this works in any way. I was wrong.

I think I was dramatically wrong. Yeah, you'll mangle it real fast. By it, I mean the plastic. I'll try and pick up mine to try next week. If you get it, you deserve a medal of some kind. If you do it, you're the bread tag champion of face, that's for sure. I'll just put a chain around the bread clip and that could be my medal. Become a chain guy with a bread clip thing.

I would wear that that i would wear that too i would wear that yeah let's make them chains don't forget though if you have a pacemaker uh or some sort of a metal implant that is a magnet i don't want to i don't want you wearing a bread tag around your heart that's gonna cause you to have a heart attack uh okay well i guess that's uh as andrew uh tries and heart attack. Okay, well, I guess that's as Andrew tries and tries and fails and fails. I'll go ahead and say thank you for listening to another episode

of F*** Face. This was episode 107. You have survived it. Congratulations. As always, season three no, season four, year three, volume one. Volume two's got to be coming up pretty soon. I don't know.

Uh, we'll see. Leave a like and a comment and a review and a rate and all of those things. And, uh, don't forget to listen next week because we'll be here and we'll be talking and you're going to want to hear what Andrew has to say. Uh, it's going to be interesting and aggravating.

Bye. Oh God. And there goes the ankle. Did his table go over again? It didn't go under. Is his fire extinguisher okay? God damn it. We gotta keep this in.

Ah! Ah! God damn it. Buddy, what happened? Doesn't work. Hey, guys. Major League fan on a 10-day contract Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Welcome to year three. Andrew forgets that he talked about that already.

Gavin wants a new phone number. How tall is Panton? Here comes a gift for Jeff. What exactly is a regulation dog? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.