Regulation Podcast - Shaft, Sack, and Crack Wax // Glozenge [179]

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about the seasons of Andrew, the horrible SnowRunner update, watching cable, Stay Tuned!, childhood commercials, George Clooney, Flo from Progressive, the Sonic guys, shoulder falcon, F**kface jerseys, getting your anus waxed, at home ass waxing pulley systems, Andrews shameception, hoagies, grinders, and subs, cursive writing in school, John Carpenter is Geoff’s spirit animal, popsicles, the Halloween movies, being accused of killing people, running into regulation listeners, Clown Core, writing gay sci-fi smut, and more. Subscribe to the LetsPlay channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxctb0jr8vwa4Do6c6su0Q . Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facefree Code facefree), BetterHelp (http://betterhelp.com/face), and Gamer Supps (https://gamersupps.gg/Face Code Face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nick looks like he doesn't know how his body works like he just got put into that body yeah that's Nick that's like you know what I'm seeing too much of Nick's feet that's I sent that to Tony and Tony kind of said the same thing I don't like the like, the regulation feet, no, but I don't need to see them. Yeah, no. I just really like that shirt. I'm such a big fan of that shirt. They look like dog feet. What?

They do look kind of like dog. No, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. They're like pale dog feet. Yeah. What? I think it's just maybe the angle. Well, they're front on.

It's a normal angle. You're right, though, Gav. They're kind of like dog feet. They kind of like arrows feet yeah it's almost like there's too much foot between the the heel and the toes yeah yeah too much between the heels you think you think it's too long like he has long like he has long feet i don't know the shoes are doing no favors it's yeah i could i think it's the shoes i think it's the straps yeah i mean it's a it's a crazy i think that's a crazy shoe to wear to disney you know what i mean well there's kids around yeah well oh hang on hang on what does there's kids around mean oh you know it's a lot of foot could have shield their eyes from that's what you

think i'm talking about? I don't want my kids seeing no stranger's feet. I just meant that it's a lot of walking. You know what it kind of looks like? It looks like he's wearing shoes that prepare your feet to go into clown shoes. Weird. Like it's stretching his foot out. Oh, like bindings for clown shoes.

Nick is getting fucking... He's getting roasted so fucking hard and he's on vacation. No, no, no. Not at all. It's like a reverse binding. It's like it would be like fixing binding, like stretching the feet back out. Like traction. Yeah.

Okay. This is episode 179. Can we not talk about Nick's feet? He's wearing his traction sandies. I know it's Gavin's favorite subject. Can we not talk about these feet anymore, please? You know the... Hello and welcome to another episode of F*** Face. Jeff Ramsey, Andrew Patton, Gavin Frey

you know what's the problem with fucking shoes like these right especially in public in a place like Disneyland that there's hardly any shoe on it well yeah that there's hardly any shoe that there's mostly skin and you know what's on the ground piss vomit, poop

oil, dirty rain food trash maggots everything in the world that you don't want to touch with your skin is on the ground i'll never understand why people want to put their skin on the dirty dirt dirt ground at disney world are you just talking like in general in general but also at also at Disney World. Yeah, Disney World's known for its maggots and dirty rain. Yeah, maggots and dirty rain everywhere. I think my biggest issue with Nick's shoes is they originally started as Jordans and that's all that's left.

For people that can't see them, it's two straps, it looks like. Two pieces of plastic over. So I need to immediately apologize because I've been dicking everyone around all day and I assume there were no pleasantries today. No, there were none. No, I think the pleasantries that

we had were you guys just slamming Nick for like two solid minutes. No, the pleasantries were I said to Eric, shouldn't there be more people here? And he said, I agree. And then we started. They were pretty short pleasantries.

They were. I'd say no pleasantries at all. I'd like to take over the show for a minute and just by all means. Yeah, I'm taking it over just for a moment before we get too deep. To apologize for last episode I don't know what happened

last episode you were in a lobby you got lobbied you did a public lobby there was a lot of sass I don't you thought our coffee was dog shit it was a great episode

you had a tree trunk neck. It was season two, Andrew, for sure. It was. Oh, that's such a great way to put it. That's exactly what it was. No, it was like I was possessed by Johnny Caviar or like, you know, that pill. So it sounds like we went from summer of 98,

season 98 to season two, two. So this is Season 22? 2-2. 2-2. Don't think about it too much. Does that start this episode or did that start last episode? I guess it was last episode. I don't know, but that character arc

is done. It was like I took the pill from Limitless but instead of unlocking my brain it just unlocked all the snark. I could just, whatever the snarkiest reply but instead of unlocking my brain it just unlocked all the snark i could just whatever the snarkiest reply was it's this lunch to my head snark cork i spent i was well we also recorded a snow runners video later that day and i'm so sorry about that too it extended into that i went to bed that night scared that I wouldn't, that this wouldn't, that this is who I am. I am just now this person.

I was walking around going, I don't know what's wrong with me today. And other people in my life were being like, yeah, I don't, you're, this is weird. You're acting weird today. And I felt better. I think what it might have been, I thought about this a lot. I think all of the conversation about killing me and my internal fight or flight. And I went fight mode and it lasted the rest of the day. You know, I think that's fair.

And I don't think you have anything to be sorry for. Yeah, I agree. I just want to make sure that this is a real zazzle of an episode. So I just wanted to open up. Yeah, I understand. I just want you to know, Andrew, that I love every season's Andrew. It doesn't matter.

Whichever one of you I can get. I love you too, Jeff. I don't want to say I love that. Well, okay, that's fine. You live your life, Gavin. I'm happy. No, that was that one season where you were printing the law for the entire season. That was terrible, Andrew season. I would take that guy back in a second. Yeah.

Over no Andrew? Shit. I'll just say, you know what? I'm happy. I'm happy. Did you guys have coffee today? Was that able to happen? No.

No, we decided never to do that again after you. No. Yeah. I think they got really hurt by being attacked. No. The store actually closed down as well. No. No! No, no, no. We haven't.

But Gavin was out of town. He was playing with trampolines or something. Yeah, he was doing stuff. Jeff, you recorded an episode so alright that was very vulnerable, very nice. I'd recommend people listen to it. I'm happy you guys are getting coffee. I hope you continue to get coffee. I hope my one day of getting coffee. I hope you continue to get coffee.

I hope my one day of sass has not chased away any potential coffee yet. Here's what I hope. I hope that we don't get coffee for another six years because then I get to do another episode. That's a free episode for me

six years from now. That's true. Yeah. You mentioned SnowRunner. We did an episode in SnowRunner. I'm hoping it's the first of many episodes of SnowRunner. But can I take a SnowRunner. I'm hoping it's the first of many episodes of SnowRunner. But can I take a second, since you took over the show for a little bit,

can I take a second to take over the show a little bit to complain about how fucking SnowRunner is ruining my life. Fix the servers. It's unplayable. It's impossible to play. It's destroying my friendships. It's impossible to play. It's destroying my friendships. I have nothing to do. No, I don't want to play any other video games.

We just want to play SnowRunner every night and every night. We beat our heads against the wall for four fucking hours just trying to play the goddamn game since the update. It's useless. You get dropped left and right multiple times. Oh my God. Gavin, do you remember

the one time you played before you got scared and never were available again, which was braver than anything Andrew ever did, who told me he has to, he's building up courage to play with us.

I am. Like he's playing with the fucking Harlem Globetrotters or something. It's just three idiots. I am. Yeah. Fucking that night we were trying to do, webetrotters or something. It's just three idiots. I am. Yeah. That night, we were trying to

accomplish something. We were trying to go from the south of that one map in Russia to the north of another map in Russia to deliver some steel beams so that we could do part one of a task to unlock a garage. When you unlock the garage, that allows you to

load up into a level. Otherwise, you have to drive to that map. But once there's a garage there, you can spawn in that garage, right? So it really makes life a lot easier when you have garages. So that night when you and I were playing, I don't remember how long ago

that was, Gaz, but you were driving that, you were trying to carry that F-750 around, right? Yeah. That, we've been trying to complete that phase of that mission since that night we did it two nights ago two nights ago it it's taken us every single night seven nights a week it has taken us that long to stay in a game long enough and also to do what has turned out to be an incredibly impossible fucking mission. Oh, I picked a reel and went into it. Probably 15

hours of work we've put into it at this point. Of getting dropped, of losing progress, of like doing everything in our power to get the game to work. Delete this DLC. Add that DLC. Fuck it. Try to load it this way.. Delete this DLC. Add that DLC. Fuck it.

Try to load it this way. Don't accept that invite. Join. Every single thing you can think of. Turn this setting down. Turn that setting off. Every single thing you can think of. And it's just been fucking a mess, dude,

to the point where I didn't even play last night. I didn't even try. I was so despondent. They were playing a different game, and I just didn't even feel like it. And so I don't know what to do. I didn't even try. I was so despondent. They were playing a different game and I just didn't even feel like it. And so I don't know what to do. All I want to do, and the more it doesn't work, the more I want

to play it. Have they acknowledged that there's an issue or is it just affecting you guys? You read about it on Reddit. The consensus seems to be that the Xbox version is pretty fucking buggy. Should we switch to PC or something? Fuck you, dude.

You know how many hours I have and how much work we've done? No. We just want the version that we're paying for to work. Trucks don't come with you. I think that's valid. I just dropped 90 bucks on DLC like three weeks ago. I want to use it.

Oh my God. It's free on Game Pass, isn't it? Yeah, but you got to buy the seasons dude you gotta buy all the seasons how much of that dlc do you have jeff i have all of it i have every piece of dlc in the game that's that's what i figured because i felt i felt so bad about the snow runners thing i was like you know what maybe i'll surprise jeff and i'll gift him because he can gift things on the xbox store i'm sure that game's got a bunch of skins and I'll throw a skin his way and I looked at it I thought Jeff has bought

all of this yeah it's because I love it that much it's because it's that fucking good when it works we should put out a pot one on Andrew pot pretty soon yeah I think we should we got a lot of stuff to put out you were

so fucking sassy in that video, especially the first half. I was. Yeah, I was. I don't know what was going on. It was weird. Oh, man. That was the half where he had to do the tutorial, right? Yeah.

Yeah, the first half was the tutorial. Great. That he had to do. Well, I don't want to spoil the video, but he had to do because he deleted his safe in front of Eric and I. I feel like that wasn't the point okay so what because he had no achievement so he's never done yeah yeah it's true it's true this is what happened i've been thinking about this a lot i played that game like you jeff the some of the people i regularly play games with

we saw that when it first came on game pass we're like oh let's have some trucking fun and then it was beyond all of our depths but we played it simultaneously at the same time so in my head i remembered that we did co-op together but we never did we were just trying to do the tutorial together and we all got stuck in the mud and just abandoned it as soon as we couldn't get out um so i yeah that was bad that was just an all-around not great performance by me as well as my memory um i remember when eric said i've never seen the side of andrew internally i was thinking i've never seen it either this is crazy i didn't know i had two of us

oh dude that's so fucking funny oh less sass i have a question that is like the most you guys have talked about the most boring contest before between the two of you oh i have an idea a challenge that i is such a boring challenge but i kind of want to do it run it by you guys you guys just watch cable anymore you just watch tv like i can't remember the last time i just tried to watch TV. Dude, I am. I was about to make a reference that none of you guys are going to get, so I won't make it. But yes, I still watch TV. I love television.

I love I mean, I usually have a purpose. It's usually sports or whatever. But there are times when I just want to have the experience of being a kid and being bored and flipping through the stations. And so I still do that a couple of times a week. Probably love that. That's exactly because for me everything is purposeful so i have cable but i'm watching like a specific sporting event when i go to it i was thinking about being a kid and like just sitting in the summers watching tv and just channel surfing and just not knowing

and using that as my main form of entertainment. I haven't done that in probably like 20 years, but it sounds like you regularly do that. I wanted to spend just like two days just doing that, just trying to recreate, just to see what that experience is, like what even is on cable now. My issue with cable, like I've tried this a few times because I got YouTube TV during the World Cup and the Euros, and while I have it,

I try just watching TV, but it's always an ad. If I'm looking on the guide, and I can see something's on, and I try and watch it, I'm always watching it in the middle of an ad, no matter when I start watching television. There are so many ads!

The nice thing about that is that the ad will only be on for about two and a half to three minutes and then you'll get to the show. Yeah, but then that'll be like four minutes of show and then another ad. It's more like seven to eight minutes of show, but sure. It's a lot. That's just, I don't know, man.

That's the TV I grew up on. That's the American style of watching TV, I guess. But I think it's like, you know, they say like kids now in the current age of kids are being raised by iPhones and iPads or whatever. I was very much an 80s latchkey kid, and I was raised

by a television. My mom was at work. Most of the time, I didn't have a dad. And so I watched so much fucking TV as a kid, and it was such a comfortable, welcoming place, just surfing, bored. It actually, I place, just surfing board like it actually, I think, increases creativity. You stop on stuff, you get little ideas.

I always end up watching these southern dudes selling knives on some QVC channel. It's it's the best. I used to love watching the channel that just told you what was on other channels. That was one of my favorites. It's a great channel. It's like great channel. That's how Mario Lopez lives, right? Exactly, yeah.

That and the Weather Network. In December, I'm a big Weather Network guy specifically in the month of December. I'll watch that. I'll throw that on. I love the idea of a guy just living between TV shows. Do you ever see that movie uh what was it called changing channels maybe where john ritter and i think pam dauber uh get sucked into a tv and then they're like in the shows on the tv and when the kids change the channel the uh like they change it jumps them into the new tv like tron fatali like tron fatali

yeah and i think the bad guy was uh the bad guy was the devil maybe who was fucking with the family and i think i can't remember the guy's name but uh but yeah and so it was like the kids were watching tv and they're like mom and dad are on tv and they'd be like in an infomercial and they change the channel and there'd be like a crime drama and they'd be stuck in the crime drama and yeah it's cool that's really cool i've never heard of that yeah we should maybe maybe we'll do a watch along or something i don't know if it's bad enough to be good stay tuned stay tuned stay tuned that's exactly what it's called yeah that's a great name for it i think i'm gonna do this maybe i'll do some research see if it's there's anything worth commenting gavin you said

it's just all commercials which is funny because like at the time commercials suck but now i will actively look out commercials from my childhood i love watching old commercial oh yeah the nostalgia stuff is great does that carry over like when you get older jeff like when you're do you ever think about oh man commercials when i was in my 30s or when i was 30 what a time that was and because i feel like it's everyone's childhood when they think of commercials it's just your childhood this actually came up on anma the other day because we were talking about old coffee commercials and that sent me on a tangent where i went home and i just watched a bunch of old folgers and brim coffee commercials uh so it wasn't even just kids stuff i think it's

just that time of your life. But no, I do. I will say, you know, I pay attention to commercials during the Super Bowl every year because it's like an event and you want to see the funny ones. But I don't remember them after that night. I'll be like, oh, good on you,

fucking air freshener company. That was pretty funny. But then I, you know, leaves my brain. Did George Clooney ever bang the woman in the Nescafe adverts? Did he ever get that done? Like in a commercial? Or you mean just sort of like...

No, in the commercial. I just remember him and Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito was in them for a while too. By the way, George Clooney's still in those commercials. Yeah, I think so. It's Nespresso, right? Yeah, but there was like there was all this like flirting and then the next ever they'd get they'd get a little further but then

i just never saw the end the most recent one i saw he was at a party this was like a couple weeks ago and uh he and a lady had some kind of a bet and he lost it and she got to drive away in his sports car and he had to drive her pink scooter. They're geniuses because we're talking. Gavin is curious about the narrative arc of the Nespresso ads. From my childhood. And it's still going. The story is still

unfolding. He's just sat home and he hates his kids. Is there anyone that has done ads that long? Like, I'm trying to think of, like, I feel like they rotate out brand ambassadors too frequently to have, like, a lifelong. Fucking Flo, dude. She's been going for a while.

20 plus years, man. There you go. 20 fucking years. They did a really smart thing to extend the life of that. Wendy's just did it, too, in the last couple years, and I think it's fucking brilliant. They, uh, not that I'm, fuck,

I guess I do care about commercials because here I am talking about it. Yeah, you care. The ones that work. I think it's really fucking smart when you take a, when you take a brand and then you build a,

a cast, like a working cast around it. Like the Wendy's employees that all have little personalities almost like you're watching The Office. It's, it really extends the life of those characters. Those dudes made it for a long time, the Sonic guys.

Yeah, the two hot guys in the car from Sonic. If there would have been two more people in the backseat, they'd probably still be going. Yep. I've never seen these guys. You've never seen the two hot guys from the Sonic commercials? No, I don't get Sonic hats. What's hot about them?

I miss them. Oh, we just decided that these guys were on Face Jam. We decided these are the two hot guys. Because they're in ads. They must be attractive guys. So these are the two hot guys. Face Jam shit in this? Yeah, this is two hot guys. Well, yeah, the two hot guys

from Sonic right there. Dude, you didn't catch him plugging a Face Jam shirt the entire time we were talking about Nick. He's always squeezing shit. Yeah, no kidding. I'm working, baby. My only question is, does it ever work the other way back? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Excellent.

Well, there you go. Fair trade. Not even trade. You guys don't yell at me when I do it. I get yelled at on the other show. Oh, so we should yell at you when you promote other podcasts? No. No, it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't change anything i'm just saying i don't get yelled at on this one compared to the

other one but it changed how much you go ahead you go that was the most peckish that was the smallest i don't even know what to say that that was That was the meekish is the word I was looking for. The most meekish you go I've ever heard from anyone. I had no confidence in where I was going with that. Really? You sounded so defeated. I think Gavin feels bad for moving the time around a little bit today. It sounded like your penis crawled inside of your body while you were talking.

I think it did. There's a little twinge in the in the pain yeah you recessed oh my god well i was gonna say that we sold a switch fuck so i think it's okay for eric to bring up the hot guys every once in a while jeff saw that we sold a coin for face jam and all of a sudden he's like let me get my hands on this thing and then then we have another thing coming out for Face Jam. And Jeff went, ooh, I want to steal that idea too. And it's like, I mean, do it. The Falcon. Yeah. Every time Face Jam does something clever, I find a way to make it better for Face.

It happens so fast too. It happens so quickly. It was so fast. I feel like since I hired all those people, their ideas are mine by proxy. Is that the way that works? No. No, they just have really funny ideas,

and you see them, and you're like, oh, that's really cute. We could make a Falcon version of that. It would be even cuter. Oh, that's a great idea. Let's do it. Are we just spoiling that, like what we're doing? Are we just saying what we're doing now?

No. We already talked about that. You already talked about Falcon. We talked about that specific thing. Shoulder Falcon. Well, we've talked about it now. Yeah, no kidding. Gavin doesn't go to the merch meeting, so we must have.

There's no other way in which he would know. Dude, we had a pretty good merch meeting yesterday. We had a very good merch meeting yesterday. This jersey that Tony dropped today. It's too much. It's too much? I think it's... I love

the idea of combining all this stuff together, but once I saw it all together, I thought, it's a bit busy. No way, really? I love it. I'm okay. Hey, listen, we can hold a vote. I can be outvoted. This is a democracy. I think it all together, I thought it's a bit busy. No way. Really? I love it. I'm big. I'm OK. Hey, listen, we can hold a vote. I can be outvoted. This is a democracy. Wow. I think it's great.

I saw it. So cool. So I saw it. And I said, instead of combining two and three, maybe we just go with three. But if you guys like the new combination, I'm totally down with it. I think the combination is really cool. I just like if this jerseys that are louder than this exist. I know.

I know. And I felt like three didn't go far enough, but the elements in it were really great. Like that's a real enough. That's yeah. That's the San Diego Padres City Connect is a real jersey. I don't think what we're doing here is that far off. Also, we should not share that image yet. I'm sharing it here so gavin

can i have one of those see this this jersey you like that right yeah okay yeah i voted three to four so all right well if there you go if gavin wants it we'll get we'll make it i mean it's it's look don't get me wrong it's disgusting i want I want it. Oh, I think it looks great. I disagree. I think that we can discuss this. So the jersey did well, and I keep running into people. By the way, I ran into so many. I went to a concert the night before last. I should tell you guys about that in a minute.

But I've actually run into a lot of people, and usually they ask about, like, when's there going to be another Gerplow drop or whatever. But this year, I feel like so many people have come up and said hey i really i got a jersey and i just want you to know i really like it and it's a really good quality or like yeah i really i really enjoyed that jersey or man i was bummed i couldn't get a jersey let me know when there's another drop so there seems to be a lot of like genuine enthusiasm for more jerseys and we were trying to figure out another one to design and so the initial thought was that was our home jersey.

We'll make an away jersey. But then we landed on in the merch meeting. Instead of that, maybe every year we'll just release in baseball. They do this. Well, I guess in all sports, they do this thing called city jerseys or city connect jerseys where they make a special jersey that they wear like 12 times a year in basketball. That is reminiscent of the city. Like for the Boston Celtics,

it would be more Boston themed than Celtics themed, right? Or in the San Diego one, it would be like a bunch of highlighters in an office desk for some reason. And so we laid out the idea, maybe just yearly we'll do a City Connect jersey. And then so it'll be focused on like the first year we're going to do Key West. The next year it might be Deputy Indiana or wherever. And then we'll just a City Connect jersey. And then so it'll be focused on like the first year we're going to do Key West.

The next year it might be Deputy Indiana or wherever. And then we'll just make a new one every year. I think it's such a great idea. And I love doing Key West as the first one. And this, I love this design that Tony's team put together. I think it's so cool. I think it's so crazy. You've won me over.

Wow. Gavin, is there anything you would change about it? Oh, definitely not. It's perfect. I want to see Gavin wearing this jersey. It is the opposite. Everything about it is the opposite of you. Can we all get together and see if we could help me pull that off?

Like what else I need to be wearing? Oh, I got you. You want to look like you fit in wearing that jersey? I got you immediately You want to look like you fit in wearing that jersey? I got you immediately. So easy. I want to see you with the salmon shorts on, that jersey, and your rainbow shoes. And I think you got it. There's just so much to look at.

You're not really focused on anything. Exactly. It's a fun vibe. Can I ask a question to the group? Yeah, go ahead. Has anyone had their anus waxed? No. No.

I've never even considered it, ever. Me neither, right? But I had the realization this week that I think it would feel good. Oh, can we be there for this? Is that cool? What do you mean you think it would feel good? I don't think it would hurt. I don't think it would hurt.. Oh, can we be there for this? Is that cool? What do you mean you think it would feel good? I don't think it would hurt.

I don't think it would hurt. Oh, this rules. To have the hair pulled? Yeah. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. I think you're so desperate to have anybody touch your anus. You're coming up with medical reasons to do it just so that you can have the experience.

You don't have to go what do you know how much it hurts to get waxed don't listen to them i feel like it would like like if you if you went back sack and crack i cannot imagine my sack getting waxed that would be so that would be 10 out of 10 painful but i i don't think the air the skin around my asshole i don't think it's as sensitive as ball or other area skin it's funny you say that because I was thinking about ball bag skin how funny it would be of ball

bag skin was what the top of heads were just imagining like knockouts and boxing matches how much funnier those impacts would be oh like a slow head skin just like the slow floppy and saggy head skin? Yeah, just like the slow motion of getting a knockout punch if people

have ball heads. That was making me laugh one evening. So why would you want to get your asshole waxed? What is the reason? Yeah, he thinks it's going to feel good. I think it'll feel good. This is just a really weird way of seeing you like your asshole touched or played with. That's what I'm saying.

No, no, no. Touch it or play with it. Wax it. That's it. Just tug the hair out. Do you think hair getting pulled is pleasurable in any other part of your body? If the answer's no, then it isn't about the hair being pulled. No, maybe he's on to something.

There's areas of my skin that feel really numb. And if I pull hair out of those, it doesn't hurt. Is your ass one of those places? No. Oh, interesting. The thing is, it's just a theory. It's just a theory. Yeah, I know.

And we have to put it into practice. An ass theory. I'll tell you what, dude. I'll tell you what. I. I'll tell you what. I think it'll hurt a lot to get my asshole waxed. But what if we go get our assholes waxed together? Okay. Yeah, that's supplemental.

I would sign up for it. I mean, I'm looking. I'm trying to look at one that will come to us and we do it somewhere. Even better. I'm looking. It's harder. It appears to be harder than i anticipated a come a come to you wax yeah a come to you anal waxer specifically oh my god that's a

market yeah emily owns a salon she probably knows tons of people that wax assholes i can just ask her if one of her friends will do it yeah well if she says no gracie has a really good idea where we hire someone from task rabbit oh perfect i don't how do we do it like privately privately but like with yeah i think like people who I work with aren't looking at my asshole. No, no, no, I get it. I only want a stranger to be messing with it. No, no, I understand. I think we can do it.

And I think it has to do with, oh, I found a place, I think. It's called Twig and Barry's Brazilian. Shaft, sack, and crack, 80 bucks. Perfect. Now, I don't want anyone to touch my shaft or anything. Oh, okay. Then they have full booty for 45. Okay.

So what we can do, we'll get Gavin a full booty. I'll also do the full booty. Oh, wow. And then we'll set up a GoPro on our faces. And then the other person will be on the other side of the door. Yes. And we'll film their reaction while we all listen through the door. Why don't we just put our heads through a hole in the wall?

Why is there? Where is there a hole in the wall? Like a guillotine? No, I like the idea. That's how they film the MGM Lion logo. Why don't we do that? Why don't we make your guy's face equivalent to the MGM Lion logo? That's why he's rollingGM lion logo. Why don't we do that? Why don't we make like your guy's face equivalent to the MGM lion logo?

That's why he's roaring at the logo. He's getting his ass waxed by that. Alright, so if it's like, we do it where it looks like the lion roar from the MGM logo. I think that's the way. I like that. We'll figure out, it might have to be more of like a sheet situation

where it's being held up or something. We've got a record of wax roars, and we've got to play those before face supplementers. Yes. This is crazy. Oh. This is great I'm so excited I'm sweating

I'm fucking sweating I think this is the most wrong you've ever been but in the most delightful of ways I'm so excited. I would love the opinion of the audience on this one. If anyone's had it done, male or female, around the anus, let me know. My goal is to get this done before this episode comes out,

so that way no one can talk about it. Oh, my God. Yeah, really, truly. We just created the new F*** Face supplemental intro, and I cannot wait to start using it. It's going to be two different vibes, too. It'll be Jeff screaming and Gavin going, ooh. Two different notes.

Gavin, you have to tell us if you have an orgasm. Oh, my God. It's a sexual thing. Yeah, right. Gavin suddenly raises four inches. Oh, man. Oh, that's great, Gavin. That's a fantastic idea.

I can't believe you believe this. Gavin, that's got to be an all-time top Gavin moment. Thank you so much. Eric, are you getting involved? Oh, fuck no. Absolutely not. You're out of your fucking mind for doing this. But you're kind of like a hardcore dude. Like, dude.

You're a hardcore... Yeah, and I don't get in the ring to show off my waxed ass. You don't have to show anyone. You're arguing this is a thing done for pleasure. You think this is a great thing? Like, why are you arguing you're arguing this is a thing done for pleasure you think this is a great thing like why are you saying you're a hardcore dude you're a heart you know how hardcore dudes like the joy of getting their ass waxed this is quite extreme thing to do for a podcast

it's kind of an extreme work thing but i'm saying that it's not extreme if you think it's pleasurable we can change your nickname to Smooth Gooch. I don't want anything to do with this. I will be there to film it, but I will not be participating. All right, it's just Gavin and I. Absolutely. You guys are insane for doing it.

You're nuts to think this is going to feel good. I can't wait to watch this. Yeah, but not the nuts. If we try to do it with Nick, you'll say, oh, I got mine done last week. Like, this is just... I got mine done in preparation for Disney. Wherever you're going, you better believe

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Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Andrew, would you do it up in Canada or at a solid area just to see what it's like? I'll have to think about that. My initial reaction is no, but what if we got you an at-home kit and you could

do it self-administer? Oh, it'd be like when parents are trying to pull their kid's teeth out, you could tie it to-administer. Oh, it'd be like when parents are trying to pull their kids' teeth out, you could tie it to a door handle and kick the door closed. You slam the door and it rips your ass hair off.

We'll have to look at what options are available at home. I would be willing to do it live on the show if we were to do it at home in some capacity. That would be great. Are we talking be willing to do it live on the show if we do it at home in some capacity. I'm open to that. That would be great. Are we talking like standard anatomy down there?

Like I know you've got a tree trunk neck and a long back. Like how's the gooch? Yeah. No, I think it's a pretty regulation gooch, I'd say. Regulation gooch? Okay. Not a lot of hair. Really?

Do you have a bowling ball in your home at all? hair really do you uh do you have a bowling ball in your in your home at all uh i own the big lebowski collector edition which is like in a plastic bowling ball with the discs inside but i probably don't want to you probably don't want to throw that out a window but wouldn't it be funny if we if you were going to tie it to the door handle and slam the door shut to rip it off what if we built a pulley system and so it went over like across the ceiling to your window and you like tied it to a brick and you throw the brick out the window and that's what slams the door shut. Ooh.

The longest Rube Goldberg asshole thing? Yeah, like what if we do a Rube Goldberg wax? I don't have one but it's imagining tying it to like a ceiling fan that spins is also very funny. That's a great idea. Or a moving car. And then you don't know when, like you just tie it to a car in the parking lot and you don't know when they're gonna leave so

you just sit and it'll be a surprise a series of helium balloons you need enough force for the pole but you don't know exactly what is gonna happen as i'm just being a light tug on your ass what are the options eric for at home waxing kits uh i'll have to i'll have to look because i'm not sure i've only just found the gracie says there's many great i mean grace is probably right i'm sure there's okay a lot um so we can find some stuff we'll send you something so you can do it live on the show. I am looking at maybe next Thursday getting an appointment. I'm just, I'm looking right now to see if this space is available and everything.

This would be great to do before my wedding. Just in case there's any unforeseen. Oh, I absolutely, yeah, I absolutely agree. You should definitely tell Emily that we're going to do this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I found, I mean, I think I found

the right place for us. It's not too far and I feel good about it. I found another place that just offers men's Brazilian or crevice and scrotum. Man, I feel like scrotum would hurt so bad. I don't want that messed with.

No, no, I understand. I found a place. It's looking good right now. No, no, I understand. So I'm looking. I found a place. It's looking good right now. I'm going to contact them, ask them about the filming situation, because that's really all we can. Like, we have to film this. We have to. Oh, yeah.

Oh, and we have to do the intro thing. We have to have the faces. We have to mount a camera looking down with our heads through a thing. We'll get it. We'll get it. It's so funny. I was just going to say, like a uniform production or something. Yeah.

And the Roman numerals for 2023. I learned when I made a video with Nick that he's a tuba player so he could do the music. He could do the the tuba could be the background of like the film intro well we have something here um oh i think we definitely do oh you all-time bad idea by gavin and i love yeah i uh man i was wondering what we were going to talk about today. I should never wonder that ever again. No, no, no. This was

the craziest part unprovoked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just out of the blue. Shot out of an anal cannon. This is one of my notes for the day. Something we talked about before, Jeff, you hearing voices when you were falling asleep and I saw a lot of people supporting you with similar experience.

I have started to have a similar issue, but I am I'm roasting myself in my dreams. And it is ever since you talked about hearing voices, it is it has become a problem for me. It's happened three times now. Was you talking shit? It's me talking shit about myself i'll tell you what the dream is it's what happens what is happening now is in my dream i'll be like walking past a group of people talking and they'll be trying to they'll be saying something that they think is funny and they'll say it and my reaction will be oh my god that was so

unfunny that was just awful like i am so thankful that their brain is not mine and what in the world that i view what is funny and isn't funny and then i have a realization that i'm in my own dream and that person i created that person and that person's thoughts only exist because it's in my head and i am the source of that and then i have to live with that i wake up ashamed i wake up like oh god i feel gross because that person that was such an unfunny thing it's like a shame-ception it's like a shame yes i'm it's an inception but it's just for shame relating to comedy it's i i get and there's no defense like it it's a realization i have in the dream and i just go fuck this is all me i can't say that i

don't have that brain it's in my brain this is i've invented all this do you have any examples that you remember no i don't unfortunately next time it happens i'll really try to make an effort but it's just it's jokes that are like so either lazy or just like, I don't know. They're just bad. They're just like you, the type of thing you would hear where you just be like, that person has no concept of what funny is. It's happened a lot. I'm sorry you've been afflicted with that dream. Honestly, I used to, when I was having ankle issues,

I'd re-injure my ankle all the time in my sleep because I was having dreams that I would fall and then I'd physically do the motion and it would re-hurt it. I would take those over the shame, I feel. Well, now you're just injuring your pride in your sleep. Yeah, it's just shame-ception. That's such a great way to put it. What would actually injure the ankle in in your sleep it would be the most no it would be like i stepped off a curve wrong or curb like i

stepped off a curb or like i was walking off of something and then i my ankle would roll and then i'd wake up and my ankle would physically roll but how would it roll in the bed though like my my my the body part like i'd curve my ankle in like i do physical motion i can see i can see that i can you're not you're not hitting it on the wall or like in the do you're just moving your ankle well yeah but it's when like the ankles really sore and like moving it hurts so like i'm curving it like i'm stretching those tendons when they're trying to heal it's like it's like in the matrix like your body makes it real yes

yes it does it sucks it's not a fun time you know what else isn't a fun time I need to rant about something please do I've been having to eat fucking hoagie sandwiches every day because playstation doesn't know how to make a console

I'm so goddamn mad. I bought, since we're doing the Let's Play stuff, Gavin, and I've wanted to incorporate some older games, and Eric and I were talking about that there's a Sopranos game that I always wanted to play, so we're like, oh, that'd be such a fun game for the two of us to go through. So I bought an original launch ps3 because only the launch ps3s have backwards compatibility for both ps1 and ps2 and then i got a copy of the game

it's tough to find it is like a whole thing i get everything we're supposed to record this week i wanted to really get into the experience so i bought all of the things for the tony soprano sandwich and i got hoagies i bought a pack of six this is gonna be great the night so i bought all of the things for the tony soprano sandwich and i got hoagies i bought a pack of six this is gonna be great the night before i go to set everything up and it just won't work and i can't figure out what's wrong so then i google it every ps3 on a hardware level does not let you capture through hdmi they block it. Yeah, HDCP. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that.

I had zero awareness that that was a thing that was on a hardware level. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did know that. Oh! Is that... Awesome. Great. That might be why

you were using component cables now that I think about it. Yeah. For the video with the wind purple or whatever. That's really funny um so i've been looking into a fix and i found one i ordered it and i guess that company realized that their splitter was removing hdcp when it's not supposed to so they updated it so it didn't work so i just bought a pointless splitter so now i I bought, I bought another one.

I'm two splitters. Then hopefully this one works. I just want to play the Sopranos game and I don't want to waste all the hoagie rolls that I bought. So I've been eating hoagie sandwiches every day. It's impacted my life. By the time, get that off my chest.

By the time you get around to recording that, let's play, you're going to be regulation gameplay. You're going to be so fucking sick of hoagie sandwiches, you're not going to be able to eat one on video. It's true. It's a real fear. Thankfully, we got a little bit of a break.

It's going to take until Sunday for this new splitter to arrive. And that one probably won't work, so I'll probably have to buy another one. What does a hoagie consist of? What is that? It's just a type of roll. It's just like a sandwich bread. Okay.

The hoagie itself isn't a sandwich. It's a form of... It's the term for a sub sandwich, but in Philadelphia and... Yeah. Kind of like Northeast. We have too many fucking names for the same sandwich in America. We call them grinders, hoagies, subs. I've never heard grinder.

You've never heard grinder? No. Yeah, it's Northeast. The F I've heard of. Yeah. Similar. Yeah, but this is a sandwich. What you said, Gavin, is essentially what is pretzel? What does that consist of? It's true. But sorry, go ahead, Jeff.

What were you going to say? You know how we always get blamed for killing people? Yeah. We had a meeting today where it was 30 minutes of us going did we kill that person is that someone we killed well we're uh nobody lately but we're doing we're doing a project a merch project and we needed to uh that covers a lot of different things we've done over the history of the show and so we were we had a section for like an in memoriam section. So we're trying to figure out who we did and didn't kill. Anyway, we always have to take credit for the bad stuff.

But I saw this in the news the other day and I wanted to post it. I want to take credit for this. The state of California just enacted a law requiring teaching cursive writing in schools and 17 other states are following suit. I feel like because we talked about cursive or joined up writing boom we're bringing it back i like it i'm thinking face takes credit for cursive gavin signing it in yep knew some days we talked about joined up writing and now california has united they've joined up curse there there were so many people on the

subreddit that did not know like us we didn't know joint joined up writing and cursive or like the same thing or whatever and then other people had other terms for it but somebody made a poll where they said like is it joined up writing or is it cursive but they're like british so they called it joined up writing and then they were very snarky within like the first few minutes of like 15 people voting it's cursive and they went 15 americans you guys are wrong there are so many votes and they're all for cursive yeah joined up writing he's getting blown out of the water it is great i've never again never ever ever had heard that term until we recorded that episode crazy i also recently uh because recently, reading the

news, that's where I saw the whole thing about the cursive, I ran across this article, and I've decided that John Carpenter, the director, is my fucking spirit animal. Legendary horror director John Carpenter just wants to play video games, watch basketball, and eat popsicles.

I'm not a master of anything, he says. I agree. I'm not a master of anything either. That's literally all I want to do in life. Maybe bicycle, but mostly video games, basketball, and I had to stop eating popsicles, cold turkey, because it was all I was eating. Do you remember my banana popsicle phase? Yes. Oh, my God.

I love that the guy who made Halloween and The Thing just wants to fucking eat popsicles and watch the basketball players or watch. What? Just wants to eat. He just wants to eat popsicles and watch basketball. Me too. Was there ever a Thing video game?

Yes, there was. Yeah, I was talking about it. I talked about it recently. Oh, on this? I've never played it. I've always wanted to play it. What's it on? I think I might have. I talked about it recently. Oh, on this? I've never played it. I've always wanted to play it. What's it on? I think I might have.

I think it's on PlayStation. I think I talked about it yesterday in the Alan Wake 2 video we made because I just watched the ending of it because it was on Reddit and it's supposedly canonical and it adds to the story from the movie. And I guess John Carpenter signed off on that

and said, yeah, this is canon. And so I was watching the final cut scene of the game, and we were having a conversation about how poorly written video games used to be, essentially. And it definitely falls into that category. I'll maybe order that. Maybe we'll play that. Because it's something I've always wanted to try.

Because The Thing is one of my favorite movies of all time. Not even like horror. It's in my top five. Have you ever seen the original? The original black and white version? No, I haven't. It's so good. It's so good.

It's not as good as the John Carpenter version, but they're both very, very good. I love John Carpenter. He's such a great director. I love the keyboard scores. I love him going nuts on the keyboard. I saw a clip of him today where he was at some convention, and somebody asked him, this kid asked, how he felt about the Halloween sequels and which one was his favorite.

And his response was, I made the original. That's the only Halloween I care about. I don't care about the other sequels. The only thing I care about with them is the checks coming in. That's all i care about and i hate to be that way but it's true i don't give a fuck about those the sentiment outside of what money they give me for those other movies he's great gotta appreciate it are you worried that you brought him up right after you talked about killing people no no i'm just asking if you're

why don't we now i am ble! I didn't even think about that. No, he's young and fine. And he's subsisting off a diet of popsicles and sitting and watching video games. He's not even going outside. He's safe. He's okay. He'll live forever. Yeah, no one ever dies from sitting indoors and playing

video games with these popsicles. Too many popsicles. He's gonna stop. He's fine. He's living his best life. Maybe the eighth sin and seventh, and it would just be joy. He was taken because of joy. That was the crime scene. Happy, watching.

I wonder what his favorite team is, Carpenter. Is he a New York guy? I don't know. That's a good question. John Carpenter strikes me as a New York guy. I assume that everybody that likes basketball just likes the Celtics like me until I'm proven wrong so in my head he's a big Jason Tatum thing he's a New York guy that checks out that's fine we just beat their asses last

night barely we just beat their asses barely is not typically a combination of words you hear well we beat their asses for the first quarter and then we barely won. I feel like you can only say we beat their asses barely when you're like in a boxing match and you've won by a round. Like, I think that's literally the only we beat their asses, but barely. Nah, if you watch the game,

you'd understand what I mean. I didn't. I missed it, unfortunately. I was too busy making my PS3 not work. You know how you know how we always talk about how great it is to run into regulation listeners and comment leavers in the wild because they're just like we speak the same language and there's like a kinship there. I had well, I had maybe the whatever the opposite of that is the other night.

I went to you guys know I'm a big Clowncore fan, right? I've talked about them in the past. Yes. And so they played a show in Austin, which was kind of the big deal because they never, ever play. And so Antonio and Burndog, my trucking buddies, they wanted to go. They're how I found out about Clowncore. Oh, my God.

And Antonio got us on the guest list. And so he got us like behind stage and everything so we got to watch like from the side fucking phenomenal show first off uh they actually build a porta potty and the porta potty comes out on stage and then they just start playing from the porta potty and then the walls fall off the porta potty through as slowly as the show goes on absolute insanity but uh just a phenomenal show. If they ever come to your town, I highly recommend you see them play.

And a lot of dicks. Oh my God. They have like visuals in the background. They're like playing visuals through all the songs. And it's just so many wieners just morphing into other wieners and stuff. It's really weird. It's like CG wieners or like someone's film stuff?

Like porn wieners, but that have been like, I don't know, like stretched and repeated and just like fucked with. It was like a multimedia experience and just a really awesome show. But I ran into, I shit you not, maybe 15 people came up to me independently of each other last night to tell me they were, they loved Achievement Hunter. And I was like, cool, man. Thank you so much. And I asked every one of them about face and every one of them was like, I don't really like podcasts much. So we got to figure out

how to if you know an old Achievement Hunter fan that doesn't listen to this podcast, you got to convince them to give it a try. I like I was telling people like, well, you liked you liked like the 10 years of videos I made for you in video games. Maybe you should try this. And they were like, nah, I'm good, man. I'm okay.

I'm not really a podcast guy. Anyway, it was nice to meet you. And it was nice to meet them all. But man. I kind of get what they mean though. I don't think you could talk me into listening to a podcast. You don't think if,

I don't know. Okay, how about this? Like I listen to podcasts made by people I know a lot. Say you're at an airport and you walk up to Edgar Wright and he's wiping piss off his forehead. God damn.

And he goes, oh, hey, Gavin from Slow Mo Guys. And you go, yeah, that's me, Gavin from Slow Mo Guys. And he's like, oh, man, it's fucking great to meet you. I'm a big fan.

And you're like, thanks. And you're like, I'm a big fan of your work. And he goes, oh, really? I really appreciate that. You know, I started a podcast. I think it's the best thing

I've ever done. Way better than all those movies I made you should give it a try and you go I don't think so Edgar Wright anyway have a good day no you're right I would listen to that yeah you'd be like holy shit Edgar Wright just recommended something to me I'm not comparing us to Edgar Wright obviously the only reason I even brought him up is because Gavin's

nephew pissed all over him no not confirmed allegedly pissed allegedly pissed all over him. No, not confirmed. Allegedly. Allegedly pissed. Allegedly pissed all over him. Probably not, hopefully not. Anyway, I'm just always surprised by the intransigence to podcasting in general in the wild.

And clearly, those people will never hear this because it's on a podcast and I'm only speaking to the converted. But I just, I wonder how we break through that. Do you have any other events you're going to in the next week you have anything planned uh no nothing i think it's i wish the concert was

tonight because that conversation is so much funnier if you're trying to be like yeah i'm getting my asshole wax next week with gavin he thinks it's gonna feel great it's true maybe that's how i should have approached it. I think that would get me to listen. At least. Me personally, I want to hear what that is. You know the MGM logo? You know the line? We're going to do that, but with our assholes.

But Gavin thinks it's going to be great. He thinks it's going to be a great time. Gavin's is going to be a rainbow going across the screen. Covering his face. Just joy. Do we just need like a... Is it too hard for people to find? Like what if we just had little QR codes

and we just made people come up to us scatting and be like, trust me. Trust me, scatting. Oh, that's... Jeff, you need to get a tattoo that subscribes if they put the QR code and then you have to pressure people into subscribing on the spot. Yeah, that's what I was saying a couple months ago

when I was getting the Wilford Brimley thing wrong is that we should have business cards that we can hand out to people that are just QR codes. I think it's funnier if it's just two on you. And you've got, I mean, it's a space issue I know, but... I don't want to get a QR code.

Whatever happened to you you have so many tattoos it doesn't even matter anymore you can just put whatever you want i think you'd get judgment if you had a qr code i also if i get a qr code i feel like it takes away from the episode 100 tattoos that i got okay because that was like an on-camera thing i sent uh i posted a video uh you don't have to watch it right now or anything unless you want to but i posted like a little 30 second video from the show right when I got there, right as they were going on. Oh, are there going to be schlongs in this?

I don't think so. I think the wieners showed up later. That's cool that so many people there knew of you. Oh, yeah. It was sold out and there were a ton of people there in general. I mean, they're a big, they're a pretty big band, I guess. I think they got started on TikTok. And so laughing at the video yeah what's going on

that's jaunte from our it department was there also just independent of you and he had such a great time he loves this shit like he's a musician and he's just like these guys rip he loves it so it's good well first first off it's just two dudes and they are apparently classically trained jazz musicians and they're both very very talented and I guess they're in a jazz band that has nothing to do with this but yeah it is weird

it's weird in all the best ways and it's just like you watch it and you go like I'm glad there's somebody out there making something that off the wall I'm glad this exists it's unlike making something that off the wall. I'm glad this exists. It's unlike anything else. And I appreciate it. You know,

I don't know. Did you guys start on the, on the chair? No, I was going to give an update on that and say, I haven't got any replies yet. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I had some homework to do a couple of different things and the chair letter was one of them and I just never got around to writing it. And we need to do that at some point. We also need to write our smut, our smut scene for the uh clutch my pearls podcast can we talk about that real quick um when we when it was pitched i didn't think that it was going to be i maybe i'm wrong i don't know i didn't think it was going to be straight. You thought it would be gay? That was the feeling that I had

when everyone was talking about it. Yes. When we were doing ours. Yes. Okay. So it wasn't just me. Andrew, you felt the same way? So we're doing gay smut? You can do whatever you want. I'm just telling you how it felt when you were describing it. Oh, I didn't get that vibe at all.

Really? I'm happy to do gay smut. I mean, I'm just as happy to do gay smut as straight smut. That's an interesting thing. I think I'd be worse at writing gay smut. I don't think you'd be great at either, but I think it's just funnier if we... What if...

What if we got more experienced with straight smut smut and i don't want you to source your experience when we're writing smut that sounds terrible how am i gonna write that'll be like say make alien smut oh yeah you know what that's right they use their they use their real life experience when they wrote jurassic park and independence day you have to you have to have a personal pull to the material you're writing. What if it's both? What if it's like, because the way in my head we talked about it, it was like a hot southern dude from Alabama. That's me.

And then like a saucy British princess. That's Gavin. What if we, right, and again, yeah, and again, nothing that you've described makes me think it's not what I originally thought that it was. Right. What if we throw an alien in the mix? I don't want...

I'm out. I'm done. I'm stepping away from this project. What if it's a vampire werewolf? Does that get you back in? No, I think I'm just stepping away due to creative differences. But we can solve those differences

here. What if it's an undiscovered new species called a glosange? Yeah, no, I'm staying out. I'm good. Interesting. And what if a glosange has a boy and a girl at the same time? And so it's really two people in one. And so the hot southern dude can bang the glozengs while the glozeng is also having sex with the saucy british gavin yeah and on his back it has like

six poimels i'm i think i'm with andrew that i'm also my vision was mr darcy hooks up with mater from cars is like personality that was pretty much what I thought too. Yeah, that was about it. Well, no, that's not bad either. Gavin, how do you feel about that? Mr. Darcy hooks up with Mater from Cars. So it's the thing that we have to all agree on the same smut. No, no, you guys are writing it.

We're just giving you a perspective. So it's just one story though? I think it's just one scene. Okay. It're just giving you a perspective. So it's just one story, though? I think it's just one scene. It's just like one sexual encounter. There has to be some agreement, because otherwise my gauze-ing is going to be a bit out of place. I will also say I've now listened to two episodes of Clutch My Pearls, and I feel out of my depth.

I've now been exposed to more content of this type, and I don't think I have it in me. I don't think I could do this. I'm on the sideline with Eric. So it's not even creative. I just personally think. Okay, so if you two are bowing out, then Gavin, you and I are free to go.

We're going to gloshenge all over this thing. I'm excited to see what you guys do with the gloshenges. And what are the things on the back called again? The six of them? Yeah, there's poimels. Poimels. Okay.

I can't wait. I can't wait to write about the glistening Poimels as they pulsate with the rhythmic thrust. I've never understood when you see that people left for creative differences and stuff. But now that

the first time I've seen it, now that I've experienced it, I totally get it. I'm excited for you guys to do this could you do the chair letter first please because I'm I'm having to do scheduled push breaks in my days what if the chair letter is a part of this

no no what if it's a smutty little chair no you're never gonna get a chair Andrew they're two separate ideas okay these are very different and I support both so what What if it's a smutty little chair? No, you're never going to get a chair, Andrew. They're two separate ideas, okay? These are very different, and I support both. So what's happening to your ass throughout the day?

It really gets sore after about 45 minutes, and so I tough it through. But the bit that your ass touches is the only bit that's still there. Yeah, but it's just not a lot of support, and the cushion sucks. I'd say that the bottom the ass cushion was the worst part of the chair and it's all the chair that is at this right and when you have a back you're releasing putting some of that pressure on the

back of the chair and relieving you from it so now it's just pure just pure hard butt down it's just all butt down and i it it really i genuinely am taking tush bricks i'm i'm getting up i'm laying down i'm stretching out for a bit it's very unpleasant you might want to consider waxing your butthole to make it more aerodynamic might be i don't think that should we get you a little tush timer like a little hourglass i i it would be perfect i think yeah i think two hourglasses, and then I need to rest. Do you know those little egg timers

that are like little eggs? I have one that's a penguin over here on my desk somewhere that you spin it, it counts down from an hour or 10 minutes or whatever. Should we make little Andrew's butt timers that tell you every hour? It's Andrew's butt cheeks,

and it tells you every hour. It dings. It's butt cheeks and it tells you every hour. It's time to get up and massage your butt. Move around. I think what we should do is write a letter to the church. We can do that too. That's what I think. I'm going to be leaving that due to creative differences. I already, I texted Jeff for the weekend and said, would you mind just

doing this? Because I know it was said as a collaborative effort, but Eric and Gavin are not writing this. It's just I was the one trying to get Jeff to do it this week. Right. And now I appreciate it. Montana, I can do it. I said you're leaving due to creative differences. Are you back on? I'm back on. He's back on. He's back on. He's back on. OK. Hey, Gav, thanks for being the only one brave enough to write this stuff with me it's not even a courage thing i think i would hold you guys back and i want it to be the best smut project that's such a cop out no it's true i it's an honest thing i'm serious

all right we need to wrap up now this is that that has to be that has to be it wait one second let me get let me get into my mind place. One sec. No, I'm not capable of writing smut. That's not for me. Well, if you checked your mind place. I did. When is that coming out?

I said as soon as the edit that they're currently on, I asked for them to prioritize that one. To release it as soon as possible. Half of that game is some lady in her mind place really fucking it's that game is so good i went back and i replayed sections of it because i wanted to take my time i also i just need to even though like i've been around for so long the actual let's play stuff is still new to me i am so used to like i'm not used to having there be an editor for content like that so i need to like remember i'm kind of rushing when i'm playing and i just need to remember like

no it's somebody is going to take the best parts of this out and i need to be willing to explore so it's a little bit of a learning process for me because it's a completely different way to play a game you're not going to take a piss once in a let's play you just filled the time three minutes and then i yeah i filled the entire time with content and then i realized like i don't need to do this in fact gavin brought up the point the editor would probably hate that because like it's hard to tell on the sound form or whatever that that is the cuttable section. Yeah, when I would edit Let's Plays, any blank area of waveform is usually signified some

sort of break, and I would just go snip, snip, and it's done. My dumb, anxious ass is just filling for three minutes by myself talking without pause. It's the best editing trick where you convince yourself you've done work. I just edited two episodes of so all right today and they start at like an hour and 10 minutes and then they go down to 20 minutes and most of that is me cutting seven minute chunks out where i'm just you can just hear me typing in the background you know yeah and every time i do it i'm like edit done just made of 10 minutes shorter all i'm doing is eliminating silence but but in my head, I'm like, good job, Jeff. You did it. Yeah, that's great.

Speaking of silence, we should wrap this up. Yeah, I better go and wash my asshole. Yeah, you better get it squeaky clean, bud. Yep. I wonder if this is going to affect my diverticulitis in any way. Oh my god. Do the outro

and we'll start looking into it. Hey, thanks for listening to another episode of the face podcast hopefully you had a good time hopefully you liked it a lot hopefully you liked it so much that you're gonna go to one of your friends who only watches people play video games on the internet and say hey that's cool and all but let's grow up a little bit let's watch let's listen let's do some theater of the mind. Let's hear some people talk. How about a f*** face? Also, if you don't want to

grow up and be theater of the mind, we make video game content now. Watch Let's Play. Do that too, but mostly do this. Go, huh? And then listen. Bye. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.

Can we make the perfect beanie? Gavin dongs again. And it is the question and it is the answer. Wait, who got waxed? Go to the happy baby yoga pose. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** face.