Regulation Podcast - The 100th Episode // Condiments is the all time low

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's F**kface 100 Surprise, do they guess the voice?, ambuLAnce bro night, getting reflective, and Gavin's incredible story! F**kface Knob Drop Game: https://michaelsgamelab.itch.io/fk-face-knob-drop Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/FACE), Shipstation (http://shipstation.com + code FACE), and Dad Grass (http://dadgrass.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Previously on F*** Face. Hello and welcome to episode 100 of the F*** Face podcast. Can you believe we've done this 99 times up until this moment? My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Gavin Free and Andrew Panton. Guys, I have a little game I want to play with you

for episode 100. This is for Nick. This is for Nick. This is for Eric. This is for Gavin and Andrew. I would like you all to pick a number between one and three and then post that number in the Discord chat.

Between one and three? Between one and three. then post that number in the discord chat between one and three between one and three one two or three okay is now i just just to clarify is this the illusion of choice that was discussed before or is this unrelated to the illusion i'm interested this i'm interested to see okay all right the results are in. Can you really? The chat's right there. What are you talking about? You want us to just read the majority? Jeff never has it open.

Okay, I got it now. It wasn't uploaded. What? All right, it looks like number two wins. Okay, so let me post this. Did that post? It's typing. You're definitely typing,

which is great for an audio show how does this work how does what work what do you mean we just said we've done 99 of these what does how does what work i can't get this image to paste what are you talking about there we go there we go oh you guys picked number two okay derek go ahead and start with number two fantastic god i think that's the best one. Yeah. Wait, so start. So you are...

So could you describe the scene? You're getting a tattoo? Yeah, so there's a tattoo chair next to me. Ow. There's a tattoo chair next to me. Wait, you're getting that tattooed on you right now? I already had. I had one of the most talented tattoo artists in Austin, Derek.

That's the biggest one. Tattooed me a few times. I had had. I had one of the most talented tattoo artists in Austin, Derek. That's the biggest one. Tattooed me a few times. I had him. We created three custom face tattoos. I think we're going to make a... That hurts. I think we're going to make a... I think...

Oh, fuck. This is hard to talk. I think we're going to make a... We're going to make some temporary tattoos. But I went ahead and Derek and I, we placed all three of these on my body. And then we figured I would let you guys pick which one I get. Right at the beginning. I think I'll probably get all three.

Wait, you're doing this, but you keep saying it's hard to talk. You did this thing for an audio podcast where it's hard for you to talk. Like minute one as well. Well, you know, I was f***ing facing myself and the podcast and the audience and you. Well, and you don't want to keep Derek hanging around. Right. Well, you know, Derek's a busy man. He's got shit to do.

Outside of tattooing me on my ribs. On your ribs? Yeah, I'm getting the Don Zimmer,inez fight outlined on my ribs right now which is one of the one of the more painful places to get tattooed i might say it might add so you're sat in your nice desk you know nice shelves all around just with with gut hanging out and a tattoo going on the ribs is that what is that one definitely gut hanging out for sure here let me share let me see if you can see. I'll share my video. Oh, I'd love to see.

Okay, there you go. So there you go. That's what's going on right now. What did you guys do for episode 100? We've got to get a screenshot of this for the moment. You look like Burt Reynolds in Playgirl magazine. Thank you. I feel like Burt Reynolds in Playgirl magazine.

I wish I had his hairpiece. Oh, yeah. Anyway. I've got to go full screen on this. Go for it. Can we somehow record this? It's great. Fucking do a screen record.

I don't care. I am recording on my iPhone from behind, so I realize after I set it up, it's not going to look good. But, yeah, yeah. So, anyway, this is what I'm doing for 100. Andrew Gavin, what do you guys got? It's so much bigger than I expected.

Yeah, we sized it down. I had to make it way too big, actually. When I saw it, I shit my pants. Oh, my God. So I've never gotten a tattoo. It's hard to speak. I also imagine laughing is a thing you would want to avoid. I would assume.

You just want to stay as still as possible. It's only hard to speak in certain spots. Tattoos tend to hurt the worst, in my experience, when it's right over bone, like ribs. Ribs are a particularly tough spot to get it. Some fleshy parts can hurt a lot, too.

Chest hurts quite a bit for a boy uh elbows are bad um i hear behind the knee is a particularly rough spot i've never done that not looking forward to it uh anyway uh what's new with you guys i just is there anything any imagery that jeff is making you think of gavin right now just when you look at him is there any any vibes that you're getting from this i feel like something you would like see on the the roof of like the ceiling of a cathedral i don't know why i'm getting real mermaid vibes from that's why i lost it just feels very jeff mermaid something with the way the way the hands are yeah i wasn't expecting the uh the hands up on the head, sort of. Keeping the arms out of the way of the ribs, sort of pose.

No, it makes sense, but I just didn't consider it. I was caught off guard. Jeff's face clenched up when he's talking. Well, neither of you have ever had a tattoo, so you don't... No. No, I don't know what I would get. So where would you put the... Where was the pencil going to go?

The pencil is on my, like my right calf. And then the Ian is on the inside of my foot. So I'll probably just go ahead and get those two while we're here. So the number two, the one that was picked is definitely in the worst place. Yeah. See, I was hoping that you guys would pick a different one and then I wouldn't have to get this one because this is the only bad one. The other two are fucking, I could do it in my sleep. It's nothing.

You're getting a tattoo you didn't want? No, I'm not saying I didn't get, I didn't want it. Obviously, I want it. I just didn't necessarily want it right now. In this context. Yeah. I just didn't necessarily want it right now. In this context. Yeah.

I mean, I want to be completely covered in tattoos, but I'm not because of, I don't know, it hurts and it's not fun. So you, you know, do it sparingly. I'm so glad we went with two. I mean, the other visuals I can't imagine would be as good as being as caught off guard as we were with that reveal.

I guess I realized for the audience, one, two, and three are number one is a pencil. It's a number 16 pencil with a bite taken out of it. Number two was Pedro and Don fighting right as Pedro's smushing Don's head. And then, oh, fuck. You can hear the faint buzz that was a good spot and then tattoo number three is the Ian face looking up

standardized nose oh man it's incredible I feel I'm glad I didn't even attempt so I had two things in mind for this episode one of them would antagonize Jeff so I didn't want to do that and the other one would antagonize the audience

which also felt rude to do on such a special episode 100 I just didn't want to annoy anybody so I don't have anything planned but I know Gavin you've had this amazing story that we've been teasing for weeks well you've been annoying the audience Andrew since you didn't eat the pencil

so what's different now? You could. Trust me. I could take it other levels. We could go to some other places with it. I didn't want to. This is a celebratory episode. Jeff's getting a tattoo. It's good vibes. Good vibes. I want a new guess at the previously on voice.

Oh, yeah. Oh, of course. Let's do the previously on guesses. Jeff, have you thought of a new guess? Go ahead. voice oh yeah of course let's do the the previous sound guesses jeff have you thought of a new guess is it go ahead you're allowed to ask a question as well don't forget you know you had a question and a guess oh okay uh is it uh is it a public figure uh no okay is it someone oh did i ask this last time is it someone we've heard on the show before? Did I ask that? Someone you've heard on the show?

Could you be a little bit more specific? Has their voice been in an episode of F*** Face? No. Oh, God. I have not... Oh. And it's been very fun to see the guesses. There have been a lot of posts and different threads

about who the voice could be. It's been very entertaining to follow. Is it, my guess will be it's somebody from My Hubby's Bagels. That's your guess? Your official guess? No, that is incorrect. Is it a descendant of

the inventor of the butt plug? You don't get another question. Unless that's who you're guessing. That's my guess. i don't know the ancestry of the butt plug inventor so i don't feel comfortable giving you an answer to that i would assume no i would be shocked if that was the case but there have been weirder coincidences with this show so i don't feel like i could fully rule it out but i highly unlikely you guys have to go again next episode we do we're still we're still like

it's been crazy some of the guesses i am seeing guesses from people that are way more creative than i could have ever come up with so let me ask you this as not as an official question but just as a conversation has anyone in the comment has a comment lever got it right nobody has gotten it exactly right oh that's interesting. That's interesting. There's been some people that I'm like, wow, I'm surprised you're that close. But yeah, there has not been a definitive correct guess. As of yet. At this rate, we're going to be all the way up to 200 before we get there.

I feel like you guys asked some great questions and really narrowed it down. It's an unsolvable riddle. I'm going gonna need a running document though of everything we know before i make it it's gonna be hard to keep track of i don't remember everybody you've guessed never mind the questions but um my favorite one i think is nick some people thought it was nick could you imagine how how wild of a just bad it'd be such a lame reveal if it's just nick what what you be such a lame reveal if it's just Nick. What's lame about Nick?

Well, it's just he's in every, like, there'd just be such a strange thing. And nothing against Nick. Nick is great. I love Nick. Nick's fantastic. But just teasing, it'd be like if I had you do the voice, Gavin. What a lame reveal that would be. Is it, Gavin? Is it me

is it you that would be amazing if it was oh sweet my ribs are done that was fucking fast already wow that's quick are you moving straight on yeah we might as well just do the rest of them right that was I mean it's not it's not impeding the progress of the tattoo

or of the podcast at all is it i would say no i don't think so all right i don't even know if that question was for me but i'm gonna say no this is great i i have an update from we were talking about uh stuff not arriving for months that was that west elm oh i've been meaning to ask that yeah did jeff get the basket did you ever get your basket, Jeff? I did. The picnic basket, yeah, we did get it. Okay. Oh, how was it? I haven't used it yet, but it's lovely.

Great. It's as advertised. And I got the Dead by Daylight statue delivered. When? Last week after having placed the order in, what was it, January 2020. Just arrived. And how is the Dead by Daylight statue? It's good. Lights it statue? It's good.

It's nice. Eric asked, is that your crazy story? No, that's not the story. I don't... Jeff's just walking with the mic in his hand. He's just in his box. I'm not in my box or something. I'm in the swim trunks. He's wearing

the smallest shorts just walking around his house carrying a microphone. This is so insane. These are the swim trunks I wear every day of my life in the summer. So 80s. What does that mean?

But what's wrong with the 80s? I grew up in the 80s. The 80s were fucking awesome. Yeah, you're like an 80s footballer. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'll take that as the compliment I assumed is. How do you want me to sit for this one, Derek? I was trying to think of the thing that we had to be here at this specific time to record this episode because Jeff had booked something.

I had no idea what it was. I did not expect this. No. Well, I'm glad. This is incredible. You weren't supposed to. Now this act is terrible because it's like we're in bed

with you. I don't enjoy this. It's a lot more fun the other way. With a big spoon. That's exactly the same. Why don't you tell your story, Gavin? Well, I got some

visual aids for it, so if you can't see the screen, I'll wait for you to turn it over. Well, what about the deck by day? I can look over.

Is there any update outside of the fact you got it? The statue? Yeah. Nope. Just letting you know. I figured I'd let you know.

That was quite a long time, though. It was like seven, what, 800 days or something? It was ridiculous. 800 days. That it's pretty long it's not even a thank me later setup that was just the world the world just did that to you don't even need that you should turn around and sell it on ebay for twice the cost and say that you uh i'm sure there are other people out there that are waiting hundreds of days for their statues like you you're going to do with your fridge?

Yeah, like I'm going to do with the fridge. What did you call it? Profiteering? How many Bo Burnham vinyls do you have at this point? Still have them? All three? Do you want one? I'm not opposed. I love that you have three. I assumed you would do something with it by this point. I've already sent you something different this week.

Did, okay. Did it come through amazon did you worry at all oh oh boy what happened did you reject it whoa oh boy well i got a call yesterday huh from someone that it just their call display was ontario which i found very suspicious it was just a region uh and they called and they left a voicemail. It was hard to understand. It was breaking up and stuff. But they did say, I'm from Amazon.

I'm trying to find where you live. And I thought, I didn't order anything from Amazon. This is suspicious. Huh. So I don't... Maybe check the status of that order. Oh, shit. You should maybe see.

Because I don't have it. But I definitely got called twice yesterday from somebody listed as Ontario. Oh, well, I was sort of hoping it would arrive in time. Oh, it says shipped. That's what it says. So it might be unrelated. I did get to talk about something that will already be well out. I received the regulation listener and comment lever shirts.

Oh, I haven't got I haven't gotten those yet. I haven't either. Yeah, they're great. I mean, they're they're as designed. They're basic and they say what they should say on them. So maybe it's that. But that'd be wild if Amazon deliver that. I don't know.

I'll keep my eyes open now though, for the Amazon package. We did a thing, Eric and I did a thing the other day. Yeah? We had little bros night. Oh my god! I'm so glad we're gonna talk about this. Oh yeah, how was bros night? Well, the film was amazing. Wasn't it, Eric?

Ambulance might be the best movie I've ever seen in theaters absolutely unhinged film i can't believe it exists and i had such a good time in this empty ass theater like i loved it i loved it i had such a good time i genuinely believe that michael bay turns up on set and opens the case of lenses and takes like the 18 mil and the 35 mil like but all the wide lenses and just throws them into the sea at the beginning of each filming day every single shot was like up jake gyllenhaal's nostrils or like in his eye it's like the guy hates zooming out now is it a typical michael

bay movie where the movie ends and then they surprise you with a whole other movie at the end uh I've missed I'll I missed the end I'll be honest I need to no it is I will say it is the most Michael Bay movie I think he's ever made in the way that it looks and feels and moves it is like it's insane how crazy that movie is. Jeff, there is three minutes of exposition and then they are like off to the fucking races. And the exposition at the beginning is the funniest exposition you can do.

It is my wife needs experimental surgery insurance provider and then they hang up on him and then he goes time to go to work and it's insane i i i hate getting up to piss especially the first time i've seen a movie but that movie was so freaking long and i accidentally like sort of misjudged how big a 32 ounce beer was and i ordered the counter uh so by the end of it i was like writhing in my seat i was like this movie needs to end like we must be at the end and then like 20 minutes later i was like oh god and uh so so i just got up probably what would you say eric like three minutes before before the credit yeah and then you came back when the credits like started

but the credits only like the credits were like so short they didn't give a shit the credits were 15 seconds long and then it was like get out i i got up probably 60 maybe 65 seconds away from pissing my pants that's the that was the timer i was on and it was that stage of piss where it's like your bladder's so full if you could feel the stretch in it and you're almost like waddling and you're trying to unbutton the shorts to give it a little bit of freedom. And that's when all of the staff of the movie theater decided they wanted selfies. And I was like, oh, my God. Yes.

But we got to keep moving. I'm going to piss myself. So we took a little waddle run of selfies as I went through. I made it back for the two second credits. It was a good experience. Andrew enjoyed a video I sent him of credits. But it was a good experience. Andrew enjoyed a video I sent him of TPG. It was a phenomenal video.

It delivered in ways, should we like get into the specifics of the context of that video and like leading into it? Yeah. So you guys saw it with TPG who is, I think in my mind at least, famous on the show as being the you fuck with Hobbs and Shaw guy. Which is them Gavin and I were talking what do we think TPG's top 10 movies of all time would be

it has to be a phenomenal list if you fuck with Hobbs and Shaw you got a great top 10 list and we're going back and forth and Gavin opened with Bad Boys 2 and I agreed I was like that feels like it would be in the top 10 that's a great pick we basically just sat there before we went out like Andrew and I guessing TPG's top 10 and then Gavin said The Raid 2 and I was like that's a great movie I love The Raid 2 but it just it feels so strange like that's such a strangely specific movie to be in your top 10 uh and then gavin sent me a video of tpg not discussing his top 10 discussing his top two and what potentially might be in the third spot which is amazing is a phenomenal video if you were to guess what do

you think tpg's first greatest film of all time is, Jeff? I think it's either going to be like The Rock or Con Air. Oh, another good one. Or Bad Boys 2 would be up there. Maybe Fast Five would be in there. Or it's going to be like Citizen Kane and Sunset Boulevard. Or something totally on Golden Pond something you totally wouldn't expect you kind of nailed it

his number one the greatest film of all time from the goat is Bad Boys 2 the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time then his number two which I love I love so much he's like for all the film snobs out there G1 we going Godfather 1

Easy only person on earth who likes Godfather 1 more than 2 Gavin sent me he said okay now. We're going to 3 list really drops off at this point it's zero top 10 what does that mean why does it drop off significantly and then he couldn't decide it drops off significantly and then he said this is in the running for number three and it was the raid two and his he said that him and like 20 guys saw the raid too and in the final fight sequence everybody stood up and was watching it and they felt like it was real which is insane that's how much he likes bad boys too he thought he watched a brawl in a theater like it was real life people dying and it's three it's not even three it might be three it's a distant three it's i just like they i was pretty much correct

on my guess you he was saying everything I said to you and I just I laughed and just stopped the recording because I was like I've got everything I and then we had to go and watch the movie oh and then you guys are seeing it in 40 X is how it was explained going into it and I was so jealous of like I don't have that available to me I knew Eric was having a great time watching it. I can't watch it with TPG, sadly, so I feel like I'm missing out on the experience. But just the seats alone, it's like that's a whole layer I feel like I'm missing. To then learn that you guys didn't even see it in that way.

You just saw it in a normal setting. Yeah, what was that about, Eric? Why did we go to that one? I think, okay, so I will say that tim texted me the next day and the text just read bro that theater hidden gem might be top 10 so i think he just really likes that theater but also i thought we were seeing it in 4dx turns out that movie is not in 4dx that's insane can you believe ambulance is not in 4DX? We saw it in a regular theater and it was the most

thrilling time I might have ever had at a movie. Imagine those FPV drone shots in 4DX. No, I wouldn't have been able to live tweet the whole, there's no one in that theater. I live tweeted the whole movie because no one was there and I loved every second of it. Oh yeah, my Twitter

that night was on fire. Insane. Dude, I loved it. I loved it. I had such a good time. And you said the movie was, the theater was empty? Dude, there were like,

how many more people were there in that theater, Gavin? Three? Maybe. Was this opening weekend? Oh, yeah. That was like the day it came out. I want to see it so badly

I need to see Ambulance I don't want to see it at all nothing about that trailer looked good to me it's awesome it is unhinged you have to see it I want everyone I know to see this movie it is like

there's people who are like oh yeah I only watch cinema. This takes cinema to a place where I didn't know it could go. It was incredible. I don't know anything about it. I've somehow avoided all the trailers. I just know it's an action movie with Michael Bay called Ambulance. I saw somebody make a joke tweet that was like, this movie is crazier than I realized.

I didn't know the lead character's name was Michael J. Ambulance. And I had to look up to see if that was like this movie is crazier than i realized i didn't know the lead character's name was michael j ambulance and i had to look up to see if that was true like it's the type of movie where if that was true it wouldn't phase me at all like it feels like it could happen i need to see it i'm excited to watch it i was jealous of your your great evening with tpg yeah i wish you were there i wish everyone was there oh it would be an amazing experience i wanted to be in the theater with the raid too. Is really, I think the thing we all missed witnessing that live fight. I feel like the thing that Tim explained to us later is that he wasn't sure if everyone else was standing or if he was the only one standing believing the movie was real. But either way, he loved it.

It's great. It's a great movie. The raid too is fucking awesome. Amazing fight scenes. How are you doing, Jeff? I'm good. I'm trying to take pictures of my tattoos for you guys. Oh, nice.

Wait, tattoos. You got the second one? I got all three. He's already got all three. He's all done. That's incredible. We're 25 minutes into the episode. Jeff got three tattoos in 20 minutes.

Yeah, I didn't expect it to take all day. I didn't expect it to take 20 minutes. I was wondering if we'd be able to get all three in. I thought two, all three is wild. I wonder if you didn't say anything, how many tattoos you could get within an hour without us knowing at all. That'd be an amazing reveal

that you've gotten like 15 tattoos from the beginning to the end of the episode that the moment the camera turned on might have been the greatest reveal in face history greatest reveal i've ever seen in cinema history like there is no reveal that could top that just every reveal now that's all i'm going to think about that jeff on his side with his hands on his head i guess something else we should talk about just very briefly i guess is uh there's uh somebody in the community made a game for us that's surprisingly fun i saw the link to that but i couldn't do it on my phone what was that it's uh yeah i had to use my my desktop to play it and just off the

browser uh it's a like a i don't know how to describe the game but it's uh it's like a it's from somebody named michael's game lab what was it called it's called face knob drop and it's like it's a game where like things fall down so you have to collect you have to eat burgers hot dogs and waffles while avoiding pencils baseball bats and something else and you're just moving your mouse like across the screen with an ian you're controlling an ian face and there's a no scrumping warning that will appear and apples will like fall on the screen and if you hit an apple you lose life like you can easily die from the apples it's a lot of fun i started it got number one in the leaderboard would talk shit about it and just had been demolished.

People are way ahead. Jeff disposed his tattoos. Wow. These are amazing. These all look so good. I like that Ian's looking at the duck. It's a goose. The goose.

And it's close enough that fart hard feels like a thing that Ian could be saying to the goose. Oh, right. Like fart hard is coming out of Ian's mouth. Yeah. Oh, God. They're all really good. Well, there you go. Well, I hired, like I said, Derek's one of the best tattooers in America, let alone Austin.

So when you do it, you do it right. Oh, the pencil. That's amazing. That looks fantastic. What a reveal. Speaking of things that were like reveals. Happy 100, by the pencil. That's amazing. That looks fantastic. What a reveal. Speaking of things that were like reveals. Happy 100, by the way. I've never gotten in 19 years since I started or helped start this company.

I've never got a company related tattoo. These are my first. Wow. That's amazing. That's what my nose is on there. Is that just me? Ah, shit. I forgot about your nose. Yeah, I guess there's that one.

That is true. I've only gotten one other company related tattoo. Andrew, should we get one? I'm not opposed to getting a tattoo. I've just never, never got one. I got a good one for you. It's across your ankle and it just says snap here. Ooh.

I don't think that would imply it requires snapping, and that it's not already happened. How are the legs this week? It's okay. Okay. I think it would just maybe like waste of space would be probably a more appropriate, just useless.

Maybe just useless across. Different options. We can workshop it. Use and less across the tent. It just looks across different options. We can workshop it. Use and less across the example. It just looks like use less. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting

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American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx.x benefits vary by card terms apply you ever um this is such a weird poll did you ever watch that flat earth documentary that was like popular to there was like a really popular flat earth documentary and just like it's so ridiculous it feels like a like best in show type movie but it's a documentary and one of the guys in it is like talking about how marketable um it is and how it's like their secret underworld and he shows this guy a license plate and he's like what does this say to you and the guy says nasa lies he's like yeah but it could also be nasal ice could be ears throat no specialist you don't know we're

under the record we read sneaky that's always what i think about just stupid like misreading a thing nobody would read this read that as nasal eyes yeah it's like that penn island website was that the documentary where the guy disproved that the earth was flat in the documentary and then decided that his test must have been flawed i yes yes was. I forgot about that. I watched that movie, sometimes when I watch movies, I'll take like notes if I plan on talking about them in some way. I took like 200 notes in that 90 minute movie. It's so absurd and there's so much funny stuff in it.

It's a very awkward, like the guy that they're kind of following clearly is in love with this girl that has no interest in him at all. And it's just very their interactions are great I wish I could remember what it's called it's probably still on Netflix it's it's dumb it's a ridiculously stupid movie that is a lot of fun to watch should we get reflective on

episode 100 like what's what's our favorite moment from face so far wow favorite moment what's the shittiest moment the shittiest moment oh wow tater tots yeah was our all-time low condiments is the all-time low that's a great call that was not just like an all-time low for the show and then all time seeing the condiment i would say that's the all-time low for our friendship, Jeff. Without a doubt.

Like, by a lot. Well, so far. So far. I don't know where the baseball thing ranked as far as your personal anger. No, I had one. The baseball thing was one bad day. I was angry about the tater tots. That is true.

And it felt like a thing that would linger. We just had to move on. I was bummed about the baseball thing. I was angry about the tater tots that is true and it felt like a thing that would linger we just had to move on i was bummed about the baseball thing uh i was angry about the tots it was a strange of all things it was like a religious argument where not only did we view the other side as wrong we could in no way see how they could view it as right like there was no compromise or middle ground we were so locked in to our, our definitions. I think my favorite moment so far is very recent, and I think it was Andrew's reaction

to looking at the beanhole pictures. I just loved that moment. I couldn't... Nick said they looked like... Oh, it was a problem. It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed, for sure's one of the hardest i've ever laughed for sure i think the hardest not to like pivot away from reminiscing about the show i don't think i've told this story

on the show once i i laughed so hard one time i nearly fainted like genuinely nearly fainted i was playing pub g and i was playing with some friends and uh you know like have you ever seen i know jeff will definitely be aware of this play, but are you aware of like the Larry Bird steal, Gavin, where it's like he reads the floor before anything happens? He like sprints to the exact right, like he just knows what's going to happen, and he reads it, and he executes it perfectly.

Like he just, he knows the play. It's a fantastic play to watch. It's one of the greatest moments in the history of basketball. But it's like being... Oh, it's basketball? Yeah, it's a basketball thing. But it's like being in the zone. It's like he knew what was thing to watch. It's one of the greatest moments in the history of basketball. But it's like being... Oh, it's basketball? Yeah, it's a basketball thing. But it's like being in the zone. It's like he knew what was going to happen.

He read it. He fucking predicted it. And he executed it. I was playing PUBG. And my friend was like in the bottom of this hill. And he was getting sniped at from all angles. And there's this big tree next to him. And he got tagged by a sniper.

And he's like, I'm down. And so I turn and i see this car and i have my larry bird moment of i see like okay i'm gonna get in the car i'm gonna drive it to the tree the car will then be like a barricade for us i'm gonna pick up my friend and we're gonna go and escape this is fucking i've got this so i get in the car i hit drive i immediately run my friend over and crash into the tree at full speed. I kill him immediately and crash the car. And I laughed so hard, like all the air shot out of my body. And I felt like I was going to faint.

Like I started to go down my head a little bit, but I crashed the car and I'm still in a war zone. So like I'm trying to gather myself. So I'm not fainting while laughing. And I'm just getting sniped at from all sides. And I'm like, I got to get out of here. So I hop in the car and I go, but I'm not feigning while laughing and I'm just getting sniped at from all sides. And I'm like, I got to get out of here. So I hop in the car and I go, but I'm like barely like I'm feigning. I'm like in and out of it as I'm driving the car.

Could you just not breathe in? I couldn't breathe and I just couldn't stop. I was just laughing so hard that like the lights were going out and I'm just driving away. It was like in a movie where a guy gets shot and he gets in the car and like barely escapes i was almost tunnel vision yeah i was having tunnel vision i can imagine you just sat intensely at your screen like starting to slump over if that's exactly like my head went down i was like holding myself up on my desk with my arms if you would ask me going to my friend like the odds of this working in the way i wanted it to you a hundred percent i've never been more confident that

anything was going to work in my life and i immediately ran him over and killed him and then just crashed into the tree because i was laughing so hard as soon as i failed it's a disaster save the clip i wonder if i have that i might i should look yeah you should look for that that is a great um oh nick picked this nick picked the sewing machine argument the sewing machine argument is a great one because that was at the end of an episode that none of us were all that happy with we're like that wasn't that great and then we ended and then it was 30 minutes of sewing machine talk that was not at all supposed to be part of the episode i don't think we were even recording at that point and if it wasn't for craig i don't think we would have had that audio uh i think talking about your that pub g incident making you laugh one of my favorite

memories of the podcast has got to be um before the podcast it was when I had the idea for the beef bracelet. And then as I was having that idea, I realized I wanted to make a commercial. And so I rode my bike down to the park to film it. And I was laughing. I was trying not to laugh out loud. But I was laughing internally at all the people that were watching me ride up and down this path over and over again, doing multiple takes, filming with one hand while I was eating beef jerky off my wrist with the other. No hands on the bike. People look at me just trying to have their lunch before they go

back to work. Because I was just going back and forth. I probably did eight times. Just looking like a lunatic. I didn't know that. That's really funny. I didn't realize it took you so many takes. You got to get it just right, man. It's commercial. Yeah, it's super important too. It's the debut of Uniform. Show it off in so many takes. Well, you got to get it just right, man. It's for commercial. Yeah, super important, too, is the debut of Uniform. Show it off in the best light.

What about you, Eric? Have you ever had a good time making this? I love the middle of every episode and then despise the end of every episode. I think that's typically how this goes, where it's like, look, I told you guys beforehand. This is episode 100. We're only recording one. So I don't want you to feel like we have to be constrained to an hour so that's fine typically we do have to be constrained for an hour because these are hour-long shows and we sometimes do two or other things are going on so the middle of every episode I really really really love but the end is just so difficult when it doesn't need to be i think the worst

is when we jeff is like wrapping it up because he knows it's time to go and then andrew just sort of like side swipes with like the most inane shit and it's like just save it what are you doing i remember one way andrew just out in the middle of the outro is like, you ever watch shit on Quibi? Yeah. Like, why? Oh, by the way, I'm back, guys. Derek's gone. I'm sitting on my desk like normal.

So the tattoo saga is over. You have my full attention now. I apologize for being half in half out for the first half no that was great it was a great bit yeah i'm blown away i really didn't expect that i

really just wanted to in in all seriousness uh all kidding aside uh i don't i was talking about some of my therapists yesterday i don't know how this happened but this podcast has become outside of my family,

the most important thing in my life. And the last hundred episodes have helped me immeasurably in terms of getting through the pandemic and also in terms of my own mental health outside of the pandemic. And putting it on my body, it seems like the easiest decision in the world to make because it's just been, uh, it's, and also I think it's to be, uh, I guess a

little, uh, a little more personal. I think it's maybe the best thing I've ever been a part of making. And it's really nice to feel at almost 47, like I haven't plateaued and that we're still capable. I'm still capable of of contributing in a way that's gets progressively better as time goes on right like you don't want to feel like you don't want

to realize you're on the back nine and you're you're you're you're retreating and I and I don't feel like that every time I'm on this podcast which is really nice I I've been blown away recently at how much pretty much my favorite thing of every week came out of the middle of the pandemic.

Yeah. Yeah. The point where I'm like, wow, I'm a, you know, not glad it happened, but just like,

wow, I don't think we would have made this necessarily if it wasn't for the pandemic. I know it's this, yeah, it's this weird kind of conflict of probably, well, not probably I would definitively say like the most fun I've had working on

anything and, and just getting to be part of something that i think is so special and fun um being created due to a horrible event that impacted the entire world impacted all of us personally um i can't imagine what it would have been like going through those times without this show like just being able to have a time every week especially when things were now we're kind of in a place right now we're like we're kind of getting back in the swing of things and the schedule isn't always consistent but when we were in the heart of pandemic knowing that every week i was going to get to have one hour to play with my friends um was so special and it's been so wonderful to have that time and also just like the audience

has talked about um i interact with the audience quite a bit and i hear a lot of how meaningful it has been to have the space as listeners for them um and it's just i think been equally important for us to have this space so as much as they thank us for um creating the show and doing what we do we owe so much to them as well for supporting our show and allowing us to go these 100 episodes and and have this space for ourselves i literally had that conversation with someone recently when i was like yeah you know really helped me through the pandemic and my response was like dude me too like thanks so much for watching it because i i equally need it yeah we we certainly didn't talk about it in this content,

but I did go through an entire nervous breakdown during year one of the F*** Face podcast. Yeah. I had to take a step away from my job and go through some intensive therapy. And this podcast was such an anchor in my life of positivity that I was able to forget about all of that for an hour and five minutes or so a week, which is honestly also why when Andrew swipes in with a quibby comment or whatever,

and I see an opportunity to extend the podcast another 10 minutes, it's just like another 10 minutes of Shangri-La before you have to... Eric eric come on before we have to go back to the real world it's kind of true and uh so really it's it's like when eric wants us to stop recording it's he he wants to take that away from us it's yeah it's it's been it's been a wild journey and in fact that like it's just how it came together, too. And the fact that this show has worked as well as it has in itself is absurd. We've never had a production meeting regarding the show. Like everything about the creation and the process of making it is so absurd.

But I'm just so incredibly thankful for you guys. And Nick and Eric has been so I knew, obviously, Jeff and Gavin before this. I didn't know Eric or Nick. And it's just been so much fun meeting them and getting to. I don't know. This really it's been nice. This whole experience has been wonderful. And not to get too emotional on a podcast named Face.

It's really it's really meant a lot. So just thank you to everybody that has supported us in these 100 episodes. 100 more? Yeah. At least. I'm sitting here trying to figure out

what to do for episode 1,000. I've already done the tattoo thing. What year will that be? Fuck. Oh, man. Eric, what year will that be? Yeah, I think the thing that people don't realize is that this is the most creative, creative outlet

I've ever experienced. Like, it is unlike... And we've been doing this for 19... I've been doing this for 19 years in other productions. This is certainly not the first or even the 50th production I've started. And there's been nothing like it. Like, it is unique

in every way and as i think eric or nick pointed out earlier it's the you know we we started this because of the pandemic and in that process we we had to move the entire company the day job company uh to an online work work from home company and so all of our productions ended up being work from home productions and since the podcast every our productions ended up being work from home productions. And since the podcast, every one of them has gone back in person except for this one. This is the only production

that we do that's all remote to this day. But you know, at some point, one day, maybe in Vegas, it could happen.

No, yeah, it's going to. No, yeah, that's, we've committed. Not in May, in November. Like, we've committed.

We're doing it. So, we've committed committed we've all said yes we all andrew said yes yeah yeah i did well i i say what don't that's i don't like the way that you said yes and then well yes you committed we've all committed yeah i did i don't like the way you said yeah yeah even though yeah it's got like half a question mark on the end of it. Let me clarify this because I 100% committed. I didn't commit to a specific date, but I said I would do it, and we agreed in October.

I think that we've, okay, so I think we've looked at October, and it might be early November. That's fine. Okay. Okay, that's fine. You heard him say it. Everyone heard him say that's fine. I'm excited.

I've never been to Vegas. It's going to be a great time. And I've never been to Vancouver Island. I mean, there's, listen, we got bagels, we got crabs, we got everything you need. When can we go to Vancouver Island? That's a great question. When do you want, like, you're going to say, like, as soon as possible. No, I mean, like, when can you actually, like, when do you want to?

Not in May. When do you want to? Not in May. What's the best time of the year for Nanaimo? You probably want to go in the summer. So before November? If you want to do like crabs. Before... Yeah. Either like this coming into the summer or the next year. You're giving us permission to come visit in like the next two to three months?

You can visit whenever you want. I don't care. You're welcome to come here whenever. You can visit whenever you want. I don't care.

Are we going to see you while we're there? Of course. But I just meant the way Gavin said that was like I'm gatekeeping the island somewhere that I don't want you guys here.

I'd love for you guys to be here by the way Gavin and I just went to Seattle for like two days We were like 45 miles away. That's a great point You you can literally take a ferry from Seattle to the island. Yeah, you could take a ferry I don't want to travel we were 99% of the way there. We needed you to go 1% of the way. I'm not traveling. And you had no interest.

I'm not going to a different country. If you were in Vancouver, I'd gladly go. I'd take a boat. I'd take a boat within Canada. Here's why things happen. Here's why things are really happening. Okay. While Andrew was peeping at the pissing woman,

the police came in. They were trying to figure out what's good they confiscated his passport for two years and i think he's waiting to get it back i think something like that has happened i think he is literally unable to travel i actually was looking at my id recently and i realized i realized i have long hair and my id photo so there's one photo that exists of me with long hair. It exists. It's just on my ID. Oh, God. But I can travel. I'm excited.

Whenever you guys eventually come here. You can travel, but not till November. Well, leaving the country is a different matter. If it was a Canadian thing, gladly. What is this heck file? What did you just send, Gavin? I'm trying to see. I've just realized these are like

high efficiency photos. I'm not sure I can even do my slideshow. Wait, wait. So you're saying that the thing that you've teased for weeks is tied to a thing you cannot we cannot see. Why aren't these JPEGs? Oh, man. Oh, boy. Do you want me to click

this? Do you want me to? I clicked it. It didn't do a fucking thing i can't open in my inbox do you have my banking information now let me see if i can save a freaking it's just a screenshot i got it to work i got it to work okay it's a picture of your phone nope uh yeah it's a picture of your phone meg is in the middle uh it's about it's about eight or your watch whatever 8 49 but it says 14 30 so you can see him i see that one image but i had to download it and then look at it through preview on my mac oh boy but i'll do it that way i don't care am i frozen no no okay my screen froze i am trying to view this file on a pc and it But I'll do it that way. I don't care. Am I frozen? No. Okay.

My screen froze. I am trying to view this file on a PC, and it takes me to the Microsoft store, and it wants me to pay $1 to download the thing so I can view the extension, and I will outright refuse. It's not. I got to be honest with you. This picture of Gavin's hairy arm is not worth a dollar.

No. Oh, well, damn. So I see a watch. Tech rehearsal. Yeah. 1430. Okay, you'll have to translate the pictures for the other set. Okay.

It's 36 degrees, 59% on your battery. You want me to tell my shitty story? I'd love to hear this story. I didn't mean to hype this up. I was debating whether to tell this. I've never told anyone this story. I didn't even tell Meg until last week. And she was like, how have you never told me the story?

And I'll be honest. I've just been mildly traumatized by it. I wasn't sure if it was funny. It might not be funny. All right. This might be loud. What is wrong with you? It can't be worse than lactating women.

You got this. It's fine. I set the bar real low last week. Okay. So we're in Melbourne, right? We're doing the Age Live tour. Jeff, you were there. Okay. We got to Melbourne.

I think it was the day of the tour. What year is it? The actual date. 2019. Okay, 2019. January 2019. So it's winter for us, but we were in Australia,

so it's hot as balls. As you can see by my watch there, 36 degrees Celsius, going to be about 42. I think it ended up being like 43, 44 degrees Celsius, which is like, I don't know, 112 or something, I don't know, Fahrenheit. It was hot as hell. It definitely was, I remember. Yeah, and also on my watch you can see I've got tech rehearsal at 2.30. That's all I've got to do that day. Woke up early, went for a stroll. We were in an area of Melbourne, I've got tech rehearsal at 2.30. That's all I got to do that day. Woke up early, went for a stroll. We were in an area of Melbourne, I think, called St. Kilda, if I remember correctly.

Went for a little walk to the little park nearby the hotel, just sort of strolling around. I found a pier. So I thought, ah, you know, walk down this pier, look out into the ocean. And I saw that the water was amazingly still and i was like this can't this surely can't be the ocean then and then i looked on the maps and i realized it's not the ocean it's just like a big what do you call that like an inlet like a big bay by melbourne so it's like perfectly still water and i thought this is i've never seen a body of water this big that looked so still.

So then, I thought, I'll take, oh, my thing's too powerful. Hold on. Are we gonna move to Slack? Might have to move to Slack here. Okay. Go into Slack. I love watching you struggle with tech stuff. It might be my favorite. Because you're such a little, such a mincey little prick about it usually

when everybody else's stuff goes wrong. Oh, it's 136 megs. Ugh. And thank you, fell in love with just one. Hey! Okay, I'm sending a video of me filming the very still water. But as I was filming it,

the wind picked up. And, oh, Jack's here. Oh. Is he listed? What is happening? Tell your story. What is is going on where do i see this video it's in slack open this oh jesus now as you can see the second i started filming the stillness of the water the wind picked up and uh sort of destroyed the illusion of the still water so now it's wind blowing everywhere i I'm like, oh man, think of the timing of that. Here's my next video. Is this the end of the story?

That they got windy? Okay. So now I'm like blown away by how sudden... Eric said this is insane. I'm blown away at how suddenly windy this is. Immediately, like my AirPod blew out of my ear. I'm chasing it down the pier. I did this little video of my own face.

None of the videos will play for me. It's just the still of the beginning and the audio. You got it. It's just Gavin. It's just Gavin. You're missing nothing. I'm dead to Andrew. I'm serious when I'm saying that what you're

seeing in the first frame is just what the videos are. Gavin is making a case for the elimination of all visual aids going forward. I'm setting the goddamn scene right. So it's too windy now. The wall is ruined. It's not still anymore. My airpods are blowing out of my face.

I'm just like, oh god, it's hot. It's like hot wind. It's not still anymore my airpods are blown out of my face i'm just like oh god it's hot it's like hot wind it's not nice i'm i'm thinking i'm gonna leave the pier now so i'm right at the end of the pier i'm starting to walk all the way back and the wind is just fiercely blowing against me to the point where it's like i'm walking against a wall and uh the saint kilda pier has this interesting like curb thing going up it. Right? You see that on the picture? Yeah. I'm not sure if it's some sort of water break or I don't know what it's for.

Okay. In the map picture, we're back there. Okay. Oh, sorry. I'll put it in the Discord. Put it in the Discord. There we go. Blam.

Nope. It's in the slab. I got to go back to the slab. Okay. Yes, I see the pier. Okay. Yeah, you have to alt-tab. I feel like I'm part of a choose-your-own-adventure.

So I'm just a child, so I'm walking back up the pier, and I'm jumping up on the curb, and hopping back down, but sometimes the wind is so strong, I can't step up onto the curb. So I'm like, step against the wind, I'm trying to step up one the curb so I'm like stepping against the wind I'm trying

to step up one step and I'm getting blown back like five steps I've never really felt wind like it all of a sudden there was one other person on the pier there's this sort of probably like 50 year old dude walking the other way walking opposite and I can see him coming in the distance and

I'm trying to step back up on this curb. I get blown backwards. But the wind is hitting him in the back. And suddenly this massive gust slams me backwards like 10 steps. And it honestly looked like it lifted him up in the air. It was like when Wee Man opened the parachute in front of that fan. He went flying. He went sailing towards me As I'm going sailing back

And uh completely ate shit Over this weird curb To the point where he ended up slumped over it Like his legs were on the wide side And his head was on like the narrow side And uh I was like oh Jesus And I'm trying to run towards him But the wind is pushing him back

And I was like oh you alright And uh he stood up and I guess his arm had caught that metal bit and as he stood up from like the inside of his elbow to like halfway up his bicep was just gaping open and I was like I was like oh oh my God. Oh Jesus. And I was like, do you want me to call you an ambulance? And he was like, no, no. Absolutely not. And I was like, no, you do hold that close. It's like, there's so much blood and it's, I can see into your arm.

And he was like, no, no, no, no, don't need an ambulance. And I'm like picking up my phone to call an ambulance. At this point, I realized no idea what the emergency number is in australia later found out it was zero zero zero but that's good to know now so i didn't know that so i started holding down the power button on the phone because that also lets you call emergency and at that point my phone was going like whoop whoop as in to be like you're about to call emergency he heard that he's like don't do it and i was like but, but you need like 20 stitches, man. And he's like, I'll go on my own.

And we start walking. We start walking back down the pier. I'm behind him. And he's like struggling to hold his arm shut to the point where he stops. And I'm like, do you need me to like, do you want me to take my shirt off and like wrap it around you?

And he's like, he was like, no, no, no. And at that point, while he was facing me back down the pier and I'm facing up the pier, the wind kicks up again. And it blew what felt like half a pint of his blood all over me. What? In my face, in my mouth, in my eyes, I'm suddenly, I watched like a flow of blood come out of his arm and just take to the wind.

Jesus Christ! Splattered out like a big web and absolutely went all over me. And at this point, I'm just like... And I'm like, no, we've got to go, turn around, go... And I'm like... I'm trying to do it without swallowing. We get to the end of the pier, and he's like, I'm good from here. And I'm like oh i'm trying to do it without swallowing like we get to the end of the pier and he's like i'm good from here and i'm like you're not hold on and i and i'm trying to like clean his blood out my eyes and mouth and in the distance like back through the park i walked

through i remember i saw a water fountain so i sprinted over to it lent over it i'm like i need to wash out my eyes and mouth and i'm still not i'm still trying not to swallow his blood so i'm hunched over the water fountain the drinking fountain holding down the button but the freaking wind is blowing all the water away from my mouth it's like blowing all around i'm just like i can't i can't get any in my mouth i'm like lent over i'm like and i can't it's like completely dry and the water's flicking going all over the place so i'm like shimmying around in a it's like completely dry and the water's flicking going all over the place. So I'm like shimmying around in a circle, trying to block the wind, looking like an insane person,

wash, trying to wash out my eyes and mouth and face. And then I, I ran back to the end of the pier because I wanted to see what happened to this guy and I can't find him, but I could find the blood trail. So now I'm following these drips of blood, and it went to this little car park. So I assume he got in a car, or like someone was waiting for him in a car or something, because he immediately left and there was no more blood. And I spent 15-20 minutes looking around to see if I could see him, or like see if he'd passed out in a bush or something, or see any more blood. Couldn't find him.

And then I sort of... This is where all the pictures have ended, by the way. I'm no longer providing visual aids and uh i sort of thousand yards stared my way back to the hotel and as i was walking up to the hotel i was like oh i'm covered in blood i'm covered in what might be a dead guy's blood all up from head to toe and i just i powered in the front door of the hotel right past the desk straight into the lift took my shirt off i was like scrubbing all the blood off in the bath i took a shower and i ended up just crying in the shower in a hotel in melbourne and i was just i ended up just so traumatized by it i was like i can't believe it happened and i didn't really do

a good job like i didn't really even help him i hope he's all right and uh i never told anyone that story that whole day i just couldn't bring myself to like bring my mind back to that place oh because i kept seeing like all the intense visuals of his yeah open flesh i'm not very good with blood and then we did like the whole show this was like the end of the show that night where we'd been doing a we'd been chugging beer and running around playing maricot and at some point i just ended up lying on the floor of the stage just reflecting as a whole why don't i have a shirt on in this fucking photo

i don't know it's the very similar to now yeah so that was a that's my australia story that was melbourne um i feel like you encountered anton sugar on a fucking pier like that's the only like the unwillingness to get help when his arm is clearly, like, fucked.

Dude. Just completely. The guy was aggressively having none of my help. He was probably a criminal, and he didn't want the cops to come. He didn't want the ambulance to come. That's what I'm saying. They'd have to run his, yeah, he's probably, like, it could have been, like. Anton Chigurh.

Yeah, Anton Chigurh, like, just some, like, New York mafia guy who's hiding out in australia like no police no cops no cops i i was like zoning in and out for the rest of that australia trip of just like oh god i can't believe what happened and it wasn't even that bad like it's not like i watched someone get hit by a car or something that would be much more worse it was just the the the speed that he went from just strolling down the pier to severely injured for from nowhere just it like resonated weird with me i was i felt so icky after that i was like oh and then i was also worried that i you know had some sort of foreign blood-borne illness in my eyes and mouth so there was that fear as well i was like do i do i go to a doctor now like do i tell people about this i just didn't know what to do

so i end up flying home with a bloody t-shirt you saved the t-shirt yeah and i don't know if you can tell from the from the windy the windy video i posted earlier nice white t-shirt that was really showed all the blood real good david i'm gonna show you the perspective I got from your windy video. This is what I saw. Just that and wind blowing. You didn't see the... This was the other perspective I got. It was just this image with the audio of wind blowing. That was all the visual aid that I got, but I guess I do see the shirt.

That is a very white shirt. It's a very white shirt. And as you can see from the picture of me on stage, I changed my shirt. You still have the shirt that's covered in blood? I think I mainly washed out. I think I washed out because I don't remember it. That'd be wild.

Honestly, my brain has been, it's never seen this as a funny event. It's just tried to repress it as much as possible. So that's why, I don't know why I stopped taking photos. I should have just, it's very un- unme like to not document what happened afterwards but you were traumatized i mean yeah you were experiencing trauma in the moment that isn't in you're right it's not funny at all it's like when i told the story about finding the old lady uh who had fallen down in the woods by my house it's like like, there's nothing funny about it. It's just a bizarre circumstance.

And that's one of the craziest stories I have ever heard in my life. And I can't believe when you teased it the other day, you said you were afraid it might be a sea story. Well, it's just not very funny. It's like funny because it's not funny. It doesn't have to be funny. It's insane.

I told Meg and she was, she could not believe I never told her yeah and uh i was like do you think it'd be good for face and she'd be like oh you gotta tell that on there yeah that also goes to show you how fucking precarious and fragile life is like yeah a gust of wind took that guy out it was i mean in fairness it was a mass it was the probably the biggest wind i've ever felt and i've lived with you for 10 years dude that's a fucking i don't know how you've held on to that story for since 2019 yeah that you haven't i would be convinced that i was going to be a 28 Days Later zombie immediately.

As soon as I got covered in blood, everybody would know. I'd be screaming. I would not handle that well. No kidding. I would have been like, don't touch me. I have AIDS. I have AIDS now. I have every disease.

I have all the heps. I have hep A through Z. Just stay away from me. Quarantine me. And the thing about like... Jesus Christ. I wouldn't count as like real trauma it was like slightly traumatizing as an event but it's not like i had ptsd from

this event but it is interesting when you have those events and you think about it from very strange angles like a week earlier that guy was just walking about not knowing that a week from now someone from america would come to aust to Australia and end up with his blood in his mouth. A week earlier? How about eight minutes earlier? That guy's relationship with the wind has forever changed. Every single breeze.

It's like this motherfucker. Yeah, so he's like a wind chime as a warning device. Everybody get down. i kept my eye like i closely on the local melbourne news for the next week well it also just goes to to show you like australians are insane and like in the coolest ways like they just don't give a fuck that guy's like i'll wrap it up he probably wrapped duct tape on it and went about his business yeah and they have i assume they have a you know free health care like some form of

health care there are stitches and and uh antibiotics in australia for sure oh i don't know people here don't like to call an ambulance because it costs them money yeah i'm not sure that's the thing there i don't think you pay for an ambulance i can't i'm trying to just process what that would be the plane like everything That is an insane event to happen. How about the fact that like three hours later you and I were hanging out together and you didn't even cross like I had no idea. I think that was the show because

it was Melbourne. I think that was maybe the show where we filmed that Instagram video of us all singing Wrecking Ball or whatever like the entire group and we were all dancing around together. Like two hours later you were bathing in somebody else's blood this is the image of what you're thinking every time you hear wrecked me just like i saw a guy get fucking destroyed early there's something just so funny about coming back to a hotel room covered in sweat and blood before 9 a.m it was so early that day

ah that's got to be one of the worst ways to walk into a hotel lobby because you definitely feel like you definitely feel like you're like Jason Bourne in the Bourne identity you know like there's gonna be like

yeah no problem sir yeah calling Interpol right now you said nine a.m. is one of the worst times what is a good time I don't feel like there's a great time to walk into a hotel covered in sweat and blood. It's just not.

You just can't sit down with a beer after that. It's too early, you know? Yeah. I see what you're saying. It's just too brettish. Like the decompression of it. Sure. And I had a long time between that and the Tecra hustle.

That's it. Well, Gav, thanks for telling that story story that's hands down one of the best stories in the history of face for sure one for regulation animation one day i am oh jesus oh god oh my god and by the way i'm so sorry that's what a terrible thing to go through that's horrible thankfully you know you look back on it fondly. I just hope he didn't die. I'm pretty sure he didn't. And if he didn't, it's a crazy story.

You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of you and I on the ferry in Australia going from Sydney over to... I don't know. What's that beach that we always would go over to? Manly Beach?

Not, Manly Beach, yeah. Taking the ferry over to Manly Beach, and we're at the front of that thing, and you and I go to drink our water, and the wind picks up, and it shoots the water all over those two girls in front of us, and it was like... Oh my God, we couldn't take a sip.

They got 80% of our water instantly through our mouths and into their heads and their hair, and they were horrified. It was like that, but with blood. Yeah. Oh. Fuck. Jesus.

Andrew, what was the thing that you were going to do that might have pissed off Jeff? I can't say, because I'm going to do it one day. Oh, okay. Now is not the greatest time to do it. And we decided we're sticking with season four through episode 100. Yeah, I think season four barely started.

I think season four was strong. Yeah, it's been a good season. Season four's been good so far. Yeah, it's definitely been one of my favorite seasons. Yeah, I agree with Eric. Let's keep it rolling. Eric, you never figured out what year episode 1,000 comes out.

It would be, so we're roughly. Let's keep it rolling. Eric, you never figured out what year episode 1,000 comes out. It would be, so we're roughly at the two-year mark. We started in June of 2020, and this will be coming out, the day that you can listen to this, is April 27th, so roughly two years per 100 episodes. So for every-

Yeah, so you'd say roughly around that. So we just have to... Jeff, you gonna keep it going for that long? I just mean like health-wise? You got like enough teeth that you can root canal for like 18 more years of this or whatever? Oh, sorry, I'll be honest.

I zoned out for a minute. Cool, man, right on. Thank you so much. That's awesome. Thank you. Right on. Appreciate it, dude. Yeah, cool, cool, minute. Cool, man. Right on. Thank you so much. That's awesome. Thank you. Right on. Appreciate it, dude.

Yeah, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, 18 years? Yeah, I can go 18 years. Here's what we should do. Even if we don't do this podcast for the next 18 years, say it stops at like 200, we come back 18 years from now and just do episode 1,000. Even if there hasn't been episode 200 through 1,000.

Dude, I'm going to be very disappointed if we stop at 200. I feel like we're building momentum every day and all the supplemental content's starting to come out. We're starting to film more, do more. We got MVP 2 ahead of us. Imagine what movies we'll be watching together by episode 1000. We should schedule MVP 2.

Yeah, we should. Big time. Fuck. Would there be more apples to eat? I, we should. Big time. Fuck. Would there be more apples to eat? I think we should do a like if we can get it, I think we should do a

Bovril taste test like we did with the apple with the Cosmic Chris taste test. If Andrew doesn't keep rejecting my shipment, maybe he'll be able to try it.

I'll check. I'll go to the mailroom as soon as we're done recording. I did hear, I did see somebody mention that it is, it does exist in Canada. Somebody was like, I'm Canadian and I'll go to the mailroom as soon as we're done recording. I did hear, I did see somebody mention that it is, it does exist in Canada. Somebody was like,

I'm Canadian and I have it all the time. Yeah, I guess they banned it. They banned it with Marmite and like some other thing because it didn't fit

food standards in like 2015. Oh, I'm sure it doesn't. And then they had to like change the recipe or they like, you can buy it now

but there was a time in which it was banned in Canada so Canada hates shit no doorknobs no Bovril yeah um this was fun I'm excited for you to try it

I'm excited to try it I can't wait maybe next episode definitely next episode as long as it's not rejected well Gavin thanks for thanks for sharing an absolute 100 of an of a story on episode 100

and I hope I hope my tattoo bit played well with you guys so good I have never in all the 6,000 tattoos I have I've never recorded myself or tried to perform while getting one. It's not.

Yeah, it was great. Ribs, ribs are don't get a tattoo on your ribs. Just don't. I'll just say that right now. You keep doing it. I really,

well, I'm running out of ribs. Andrew, I really appreciate you not unleashing whatever banana-related fury or porta-potty attack or whatever it was on me. Look forward to that in the near future. And then by that token, if you would like to contribute anything to 100,

now's your chance. I feel like I've contributed... That was mean, Jeff was i was caught off guard you know what i could you know what i could gladly contribute to 100 right now let's do the thing i could just pull the trigger on the thing i was trying to be nice jeff i was trying to be a nice guy let's go let's pull the trigger on this thing. Oh, man. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm pulling the trigger. And listening to episode 100 of all 100

episodes of Space, I'm assuming. And we'll see you next week. Y'all take care. Like and review. What'd you say? Wait. Eric wrote something. Oh, what Eric wrote. By the time this is out, Gavin will have done the RT podcast in 64 pieces

of clothes great that's exciting oh yeah how's that going gav yeah i'm excited about it am i doing the donkey kong tie are we putting that on you don't need to if you want you can you can use it if you want just a headpiece clothing i like that i've worked at this company for 10 years and then like twice in the same week i'm being forced to wear two different red ties because i just did a hitman video where I wore one. That preview of you 15 years from now in the bald cap

was really funny. 15? Five, maybe. In all seriousness, is there anything else we need to cover before we... No, I think we should do the outro.

Okay. That was it. Well, shit. That was 100 episodes. Time flew. That's crazy. Actually, I do have a question. What the fuck?

Why? This sucks. No, it'll be quick. Is a football a ball? This is the thing I was trying to figure out. In what way could it possibly... In what way could it possibly not be a ball? Well, okay.

So let me give you a more specific... Hold on, hold on. I was... Because it's like... I didn't know if it was a thing, you know, like a strawberry.

It says berry in the name, but it's not a berry. I was wondering, because this thing... Do you ever throw a Nerf Vortex, Gavin? Yeah. The little whistly thing?

Yeah. Like, it's one of my favorite if i was i was thinking about like what are the greatest balls of all time and i think the nerf vortex might be number one but i didn't know if it would be considered a ball or not is that a ball it's a football foam dart you think it's a foam dart and not a football pretty darty considering the flights on the back but the movement like the throw it's a football? It's pretty darty, considering the flights on the back. But the movement, like the throw, it's a football product. Which made me wonder, is a football in itself an actual ball, or does it not fall in the ball category,

despite the name football? I mean, it's got the name ball in the name. But so does strawberry. But according to Wikipedia, which is never wrong, a football is a ball inflated with air used to play one of the various sports known as football. So apparently it is, yes, a ball. Okay. Well, then I would go with the Nerve Vortex as the greatest ball overall.

What was the best thing on Quibi? I only watched a show. It was this horror one with um uh what was the the the fucking he was i never saw the amazing spider-man he played the green goblin and the amazing spider-man what was his name you know who i'm talking about i think his name he played andrew in the movie chronicle as well i don't know his name he in it. And I believe the female lead was the woman that was in The Guest and It Follows. I don't know her name either. The woman from It Follows. Oh, what is her name?

She was like in a bunch of really good indie movies at the time. And I don't feel like I've seen anything in years, which is surprising. She's great. She's great. And It Follows. She's great. The Guest. anything in years, which is surprising. She's great. She's great in it follows. She's great in the guest. According to the dictionary,

the definition of a ball is a solid or hollow spherical or egg-shaped object that is kicked, thrown, or hit in a game. So egg-shaped, I think, fits. Yeah, egg-shaped, I think is fair with a football.

Yeah, that works. Huh. Okay. There you go. But what's the name of the guy from The Amazing Spider-Man that was the green goblin? What's his name? Isn't Willem Dafoe?

That's not the one that was with Andrew Garfield. The Amazing Spider-Man. I didn't see those. I didn't know the green goblin was in that. I think he is. I don't think he's wrong. I thought it was Lizard Man and... Hold on, I'm looking.

Electric Man. I think the green goblin's in that. He was in... Oh, oh, oh oh it's uh what does this get what is this dude's name uh that guy did yeah Eric just posted a photo that guy oh what's his name

Dane Dahan Dane Dahan there we go Dane Dahan thank you can I can I make a complaint with you Gavin this sucks what's happening thank you that's what I was about to complain about why haven't you ended this Eric why haven't you yelled at us because this is going on guys thank you 100 episodes of this podcast and it seems like it's never gonna end is it what's the next sports related thing that's gonna be going on will we see what's going on with my

hubby's bagels I can't wait to eat Bovril all this and more continuing in season four of the F*** Face podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Leave a rating. Subscribe. Go grab your friend's phone and subscribe for them and make sure you listen on their phone as well. It'll help everyone out. Thank you so much and goodbye. I think you're supposed to drink, Bovril, not eat it.

This sucks. Goodbye. Goodbye. End it. Goodbye. Hey, guys. Minor League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Once again, the guys haven't recorded yet, so here's some predictions for the next week's episode.

Let's talk about balls. Who's the previously on guy? Jeff experienced Bovril. Panton talks bagels. Gavin has a wasp problem again. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.