Regulation Podcast - Two Foot Bean Hole // Buttplug Updates [95]
Episode Date: March 23, 2022Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about disgusting lunch caffeinated soup, partial bean hole, Donkey Kong bet, how many socks is 1, and Andrew's long hair. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can d...o to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face), and RTX (http://bit.ly/rtxaustin22). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production. Oh my God. Incredible. Incredible. There's a 0% chance of pleasantries ever occurring.
Is what this established.
Which we've been over before.
I don't want to bring up a dead thing.
But we haven't spoken.
I haven't talked to Gavin in a literal month.
It's been a month since we talked.
Hey, Gavin.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm surprised.
I'm good.
I'm okay.
I feel a little bloated, if I'm going to be honest.
I cooked french fries a little too late to the recording,
and I was trying to eat them as quickly as possible
because I think we're doing two of these.
I also had a disgusting lunch.
It was awful.
What was your lunch?
What did you have?
I was panicking.
I had about 20 minutes.
I had to whip up some soup,
but also I'm feeling a bit drowsy,
so I thought, oh, I'll get a coffee.
Hot coffee and hot soup, absolutely foul.
I wouldn't recommend it.
What if you, okay, hear me out.
Combine both.
Put caffeine in the soup.
Yeah.
Caffeinated soup?
Caffeinated soup.
That would have saved me quite a lot of time.
Oh, my God.
You just didn't.
Andrew.
Can we do caffeinated soup?
Think about it.
Two things I don't enjoy much.
Think about this. Oh, my God. You just saved so much time this this could be uniform i need to i'm
gonna get on the phone with uniform hq because this could exist uh what is this heat and so
yeah i don't whatever that is i don't care uh who cares about bone broth think about it what
are the two things you put in thermoses you put hot coffee in a thermos, you put soup in a thermos. Boom.
I like that Eric just sent us a link immediately
establishing that this is real and Jeff
just wants to ignore it. Just pretend it doesn't
exist. I mean, it's
bone broth. Bone broth isn't a soup.
It's a component of a soup.
What is bone broth?
What is bone broth?
Yeah, like what?
That's terrible
that's like something andrew would do no i would audio podcast yeah it's
somebody put soup in a fucking coffee machine progressive chicken kettle
i did but that was that was a good idea you did it's no there's something much grosser
about because there's vegetables well i guess there were no the vegetables came in later That was a good idea. It's the same thing you did. It's the same thing you did. There's something much grosser about,
because there's vegetables.
Well, I guess there were.
No, the vegetables came in later.
I don't know.
I guarantee you this works.
Then they just run hot water through it,
and it's fine.
For sure.
I guess the question is,
what else do they do?
If you're doing that,
your line of what you're going to do
is not the same as other people.
I'm curious what other inventions
they have. Not inventions, but
cooking processes. How are you doing, Jeff?
I'm good. Let's do
this real fast. Hello and welcome to another
episode of the F*** Face
podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey
with, as always, Andrew Panton
and the other one, Gavin
Free. Of course, Nick and Eric
are somewhere in the background.
They're being quiet and hilarious in their own rights.
And we haven't spoken as a trio in exactly a month.
I've spent time with Andrew.
We invented a product.
We had to stop talking because it was getting too podcasty.
Spent some physical time with Gavin.
I'm still sore from it.
I don't know how you feel.
But we should dive into it.
Where do you guys want to start?
I want to know why you're sore.
What was the physical thing that you two did?
Well, was there anything that we had planned a month ago, Andrew?
Yeah, but I don't think that's happened yet.
The thing I'm thinking of, the baseballs?
No, the baseballs happened this weekend.
Nick is correct.
Oh, you guys did the bean hole?
Well, we did some of the bean hole.
What's that mean?
It means we dug the hole.
So you've done none of the bean hole.
You've done none of the hole.
You just dug a hole.
We did a very hard part of the bean hole.
That's the hole.
That's exactly half of the work.
It's in the name.
Yeah.
I can't have you can't have bean hole without hole.
That's true.
But the hole you can do a lot with that hole. That hole doesn't have to be a bean hole yet.
You got options with that hole.
Let me just say before we get into it.
Fuck that hole.
Fuck that hole with everything I have.
Fuck my backyard backyard fuck my back
fuck the hammer fuck the pry bar that was covered in my hand hurts i got i just have rust embedded
in my fingers today gavin i was making fun of you for whining about not having a glove yesterday
but today it's just like my my fingers are on fire fuck the shovel that we bent in half
fuck the broken wheelbarrow. Fuck the
giant cinder block we were trying to use.
Fuck everything.
How up to date is your tetanus?
It's up to date. I got a tetanus shot last year.
Nice. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
Are there any photos of this? I'd love
to see your broken fucking wheelbarrow
and your brick.
I don't understand how there isn't better coverage
of this event. Oh, there's coverage. You just didn't ask to see event oh there's coverage there's coverage to see you want to see coverage oh i want to see
coverage so badly did we decide if i share my screen can you hear it was that not a thing oh
no it was absolutely a thing we did but i don't remember the results of it there was a problem
i think i don't think we could well because it was the slow-mo video right with uh jeff
on the bike the bike yeah we tried Well, yeah. We tried it then.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever.
What if I send it to Eric and Eric can figure it out while I do the talking part of F*** Face?
That sounds great.
That sounds like a good plan.
Oh, fun.
Sure.
Also, I'll say, before we get into it any further, I will say we didn't complete the beanhole.
I mean, first off, you can't complete it in one day.
It's a multi-day thing.
But there were a few mitigating factors that made a stop.
One, physical exhaustion.
Two, I have to go out of town tomorrow for the day and I didn't want to leave my yard
on fire and be on a road trip.
That seemed irresponsible, especially I believe there's like Texas has like a permanent burn ban going on a road trip. That seemed irresponsible,
especially I believe there's like,
Texas has like a permanent burn ban going on at all times.
So I just didn't want to come home
to a pile of rubble
or a neighborhood on fire.
However, we haven't talked about this
with you yet, Eric, I don't think,
or Nick, but I think Gavin and I decided
after we dug the hole,
since we're going to be hitting baseballs
all afternoon on Sunday anyway,
wouldn't it be great to celebrate
the 350 dingers I hit?
Come on back to Jeff's house
and we can all eat some beans together.
Yeah, that sounds fun.
Gavin and I were thinking,
Andrew, we'll mail you some beans.
Great.
Gavin and I were thinking maybe Saturday morning,
we'll get up early Saturday morning
and pop the beans
in the hole
and, you know,
set shit on fire and stuff.
And then by the time
we finish hitting baseballs
24 hours later,
they'll be cooked.
I think it's a phenomenal idea.
Eric, thoughts?
I'm for it.
I can't think of anything
more quenching
after 350 baseballs
than beans
that have been sitting in your yard
for a day more quenching than coffee and soup though yes yeah i mean it's probably i'll be
honest probably gonna be pretty close have you just swung a baseball bat 350 times come get these
red hot beans you have to do work to get out of the ground. You know that feeling when you're so tired and dehydrated and hot,
where it's that feeling that you get rarely,
where water just tastes so amazing,
and you just love every second of it going down your gullet?
I cannot imagine that with beans.
I really don't think we're going to be able to get the same effect.
There's no thirst quench quite like a bean quench.
thirst quench quite like a bean quench.
So, I'm just trying to
understand the mechanics of this.
So you put the beans
in the hole. Once you make the beans,
you put them in a pot. Pot
goes in the hole. You then have
to fill the hole again.
Correct? Yeah.
So what you do is you put them in a cast iron,
like a Dutch oven,
then you triple seal it with like saran wrap,
not saran wrap, but tin foil or aluminum foil,
and then you pour hot coals all over it,
and then you seal that into the ground
and then put a couple feet of dirt on top of it.
Okay, so you're going to have to re-dig the hole
after all of this as well.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
And how deep is the hole?
How deep is the hole?
Gavin, how deep is the hole?
He might be measuring it right now.
I think you left the measure.
Where did he go?
I have no idea.
Maybe he's getting his dinklage stick.
How many?
What would you guess? Are you incapable of guessing how deep the hole is? I have no idea. Maybe he's getting his dinklogistic. It's very... Yeah, how many? Yeah.
How many?
What would you guess?
Are you incapable of guessing how deep the hole is?
I have a pretty good idea how deep the hole is.
I was just trying to work Gavin into it for a reason.
I'll show you here in a second.
Okay.
I was trying to work Gavin into it because of what's going on in this photo that I'm
posting to the Discord right now.
What am I looking at?
You're looking at a guy with a gas-powered leaf blower
five feet from me blowing leaves in my backyard
that I didn't know my girlfriend scheduled somehow
during the podcast.
Oh, shit.
I was trying not to talk for a second.
Gavin, are you here?
Ooh.
Ooh.
Is somebody printing laws?
Are you okay?
Well, I just realized this computer's been on for,
well, a month without being used.
And it's really struggling to open Slack.
I'm trying to Slack you.
Oh!
I'm trying to Slack Eric this link to the dig,
the whole video.
And it's just, it sort of loads a new piece,
and then I can't hear anything for a minute,
and then it loads a little bit more.
Welcome to my world!
This is great!
Is it fun?
Have you copied Andrew to my computer while I've been away, Andrew?
I think you've just done it by being away.
I can't take credit for that.
I'd say the hole's two feet deep.
What do you think, Gavin?
That's it!
All of that fucking...
All of that's two feet deep!
You dig a hole!
Two feet!
that fucking every all of that two feet oh two feet i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna tell you what i told gavin in the moment when i was between breaths uh every scene in every movie where
somebody gets murdered or accidentally hit by a car and they have to cover it up by digging a real grave to put the body in in the woods at night, like lit by a car is bullshit.
It is impossible to dig a human sized hole.
Fuck you.
Every director in the history of film who has put that into a movie.
You're a fucking liar who's never dug a fucking hole in your fucking life.
That's what I'll say.
I'll also say
this too because they're my entire house i'm sorry gavin let me cut you off but my entire house is
built on rock i guarantee you more murders go solved in texas because of the ground than any
other state two feet gavin go ahead well yeah in, I feel like it would be really easy to get an accurate representation
because, you know, the actors stood next to the hole they've just, in quotes, dug.
I probably actually stood next to just two people from the art department who actually
just dug the hole.
So just mimic what they're doing and you'd have an accurate representation.
They have tools.
Wait, can we recap
what you had
for your two foot hole
what tools
why don't you
watch the video
I'd love to watch
the video
oh my god
okay
I'm gonna see
if this works
oh boy
certainly about a minute
yeah
okay
we're gonna notify
we have
okay
we're gonna see
what happens
here we go
can everyone
everyone see feet
uh hold on
yeah
okay swap over oh I can see feet hold on yeah okay swap
over oh I can see feet
yeah watch stream okay here it comes
this will be on our YouTube page
the well prepared
tool of a hammer.
Oh!
The butt is halfway above the hole
you can put a shoe if you put a shoe on that pot it would be above ground
that was like a heist movie where like everything like a comedy heist film where literally
everything goes wrong that was amazing that was uh an hour cut down to about a minute i was about
to say what do you have about 60 minutes of footage there oh yeah i had at least 50 something
minutes can i can i ask a question yeah why did you try to dig through the rock yeah why not set up another
hole you like around like around it we were having trouble digging around and we didn't know how big
it was so then we thought what if we split it in half and then just dig it up in pieces oh what
it's the like the worst like you're fucking andy dufresne trying to get through a rock like why don't I understand
yeah and unfortunately we didn't have any spoons
did you not
either of you two idiots
that helping us I would have just said
let's dig a different hole
we're three shovels
into this rock
here man
we didn't it was a while before
we realized yeah in retrospect should we the
second we hit that rock have stopped of course we should have gone to a different spot of the yard
although i gotta be honest with you there were at least three rocks that size in the vicinity of
that because we touched them all i have no uh i'm pretty certain that there's a rock every six
inches like that in my yard so it wouldn't have mattered we would have just had a bunch of third
dug holes yeah the whole place is like natural bean hole prevention yeah i just there was not
even an like i understand what you're saying but the fact that there wasn't even attempt at a hole
too is what is wild to me not that you're not right like you could be totally right but i don't understand being married to that hole do you know why we found the second rock when i go there's
another rock here the third rock it's because we decided to shift the hole over away from the
second rock and as we did that like the hole you don't notice it but it gets bigger at the end
because we did essentially what you're saying and Andrew. We stretched the hole out to the
right and hit another fucking rock.
You're just making that
hole wider. That's not a different hole.
You're just extending your base
hole. I'd move to a completely different part
of the yard. It would be the
same result, dude. I don't know
if you know that. I'm pretty
sure. Based on the video I just
saw, I don't think you're an expert in
this field and anyway there's zero opinion you can just have without trying that i'd believe
based on your expertise well here's what we're gonna have to do uh so that i can respect your
opinion on holes we're gonna need you to turn in a video of you digging a hole showing us how it's
done maybe do like a bob vila you know uh like home improvement style video
explaining how to properly dig a hole as canadians do if listen it has to be in your yard first of
all because it's every terrain is different so if we're like really comparing if we're trying to
make my point accurate it's that you could have dug a much easier better hole with a lot less
effort so it'd have to be in your yard it's challenging in a have dug a much easier better hole with a lot less effort so it'd have
to be in your yard it's challenging in a million ways i think by the time we've done the actual
bean hole and eaten the beans it it'll be enough for like a full half an hour episode on our
youtube channel experience because there's so much footage i can't wait put the beans yet i can't
wait for another food review where i just watch you guys all eat and talk about how good the food is.
That's going to be great.
A follow up.
That's our whole, that's the gimmick.
Well, as we know, you will not set foot in the US until after June.
That's true.
And if you did come to the US in June, it wouldn't be Vegas, that's for sure.
Not till the fall.
That was, that's for sure. Not till the fall. That was,
that supplemental was great
and it's hard to believe
that there's 20 minutes before.
I think just like,
I don't know if sometimes
people miss them.
We release supplemental content
sometimes and it's generally
on our feed.
I think it almost always is.
But if you haven't listened to it,
there's a supplemental
that is just titled
Eric's Job,
I believe,
of just us trying to schedule the block of episodes we had to do as well as something in the future.
And that was 45 minutes long.
I need you.
I just need to.
I need to share this.
I saw Jeff yesterday before he dug a hole for beans.
And then he asked why we scheduled so much in one week.
Like he wasn't in the recording.
And then we released the thing where we all agreed when it would be scheduled.
We scheduled two faces, a bean hole, MVP to watch along and baseballs all in seven days.
And we're going to do all of it,
but one when it's all said and done,
we,
you almost canceled beanhole,
but we,
uh,
I tried half of it.
Yeah.
I was just happy that all of my stuff worked out.
I got back in time.
I was available for all of those super in the future calendar invites.
And,
uh,
that it was going to be Jeff in the end
who was going to cancel it.
I did have to cancel the MVP too.
I apologize for that.
I will accept all the blame for that one.
But I am devoting my entire weekend
to beans and baseballs.
And so I feel like there's redemption in that alone.
Jeff felt so bad about canceling MVP too.
On Friday, he texted me personally about it.
Yeah, like out of character.
Yes, it's a I'm excited.
We'll eventually watch it. We'll get there.
We'll do it next week. Okay. I
watched the first one because you
said in passing Gavin, I feel like you're joking
that I need to record like a recap for
you guys to get into part two to know where the story
is going. I wanted you to edit
the movie down into like a summary. Oh, there's this one I'm doing with my recording. story's going. I wanted you to edit the movie down into a summary.
Oh, there's...
Well, that's what I'm doing with my recording.
I took notes.
I watched it with notes.
I'm ready.
I'm ready to record a three-minute version of MVP.
That was not a throwaway comment.
That's a necessity.
Well, it's happening.
Wherever you're going,
you better believe American Express will be right there with you.
Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.
Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit.
Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout?
Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade.
Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. And when we're speaking about childhood,
we should talk about the Donkey Kong 64 bet
because we haven't actually talked about the conclusion
on the show.
What are all the dangling comedic threads we have to
we have to pull and wrap up here?
We have that bet for sure.
Anything else out there?
Well, I also want an update
on Andrew's mom's butt plugs.
OK, I do have an update on that.
Yeah, survey update.
The survey is continuing to happen
every once in a while.
We'll be talking and then
she'll just be like, yeah,
ask this person.
And they do. I will say it's been a role of do not know what it is it's been quite the chain i think the last four people haven't heard of butt plugs and are these the last four people
are they all around your mom's age like in her uh yes so yeah they're all all around the same age
i think there is generational butt plug blindness. You think so?
Yeah.
Funny enough, that's what butt plugs originally were supposed to cure, was blindness.
So it's a real, it wrapped around.
It's a real medical cure.
That's the funniest joke you've ever said.
That's good.
That's good.
So, Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. donkey kong was a journey so just to recap what the bet
was it's going to be very weird for people because this will just be like nothing's ever changed and
we haven't spoken in a month um and what was i at 48 hours right to beat all of donkey kong was it
44 and i could ask for four more hours within the first six or some bullshit i feel like i got
tricked i'm just gonna say that i agree i feel like I got tricked. I'm just going to say that before you continue.
I feel like I got bollocked.
Let me talk about how big of a fucking
asshole Gavin is for a minute. Just let me
pivot to this. So I start
the stream. I was
furious with you and it's not your fault.
It was bad timing. Not a real comment.
I started the stream
and I don't know if you remember this Gavin but apparently
there is no gameplay audio
when I stream to you as just Andrew the Donkey Kong guy.
I could have swore there was, but I didn't change anything,
and there was no game audio at the start of the stream.
So I get ready to go.
We've been talking about it.
I launch at midnight on Saturday.
I'm going to play.
Nobody can hear anything.
I have no idea what's wrong. I didn't realize this would be an issue. Everything's broken. I'm going to play. Nobody can hear anything. I have no idea what's wrong. I didn't
realize this would be an issue. Everything's broken. I'm trying to figure it out. It takes me
50 or so minutes to figure out why it's not working. I have to download an application for it.
Apparently streaming game audio through OBS is a nightmare. So I had to install these plugins. So
then I eventually I get the game audio going.
That's working.
But I've burnt my first hour.
So I don't even start Donkey Kong until 1 a.m.
So then I start playing and we're playing.
It's going well.
I'm playing through the game and the audio stops working once again.
And I was like, ah, that's that's an annoying thing.
And I'm checking through my settings.
It's not OBS.
It's specifically with the emulator I'm using and I can't do anything to fix it so I thought oh you know what oh this is I'd want
this to be the best experience possible for the people I'll save my game and I'll reboot my
emulator and then we'll go back to it they'll have audio so I do all that and it doesn't remember my
save file so I played for one hour first hour 12 to 1 technical difficulties play
for an hour one to two the audio breaks i lose my save file i'm back at the beginning in that
window of time in which i had reset the game i've been trying to play for two hours at this point i
take the stream offline for like three minutes to reboot it and gavin texts me hey where's my stream
you told me you'd be streaming this where is it and i'm like you motherfucker i'm resetting it
for a minute and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna lose all my progress go fuck yourself that's where my
stream is if only uh this had happened before and we warned you about this shitty emulator setup
yeah and uh and what
you just decided it would be fine this time well i think what you told us was this is the easiest
solution and i've already done it and i know it works to be fair okay so there was i think there
is a way to save i just don't know how to do it i had changed the emulator i was using control s
uh previously and i i think there is a control that was funny um i just can't i
don't know i need to figure that out so anyway that increases the risk for me because if at any
point my emulator crashes my computer like the power goes off for a minute if my emulator goes
down i lose all of my progress no matter where i'm at i I cannot save. I need to keep everything going. So I played, I think, from 2 a.m. until 8 a.m., fell asleep, woke up two hours later,
and didn't sleep again the rest of the way. It took me 29 hours to beat Donkey Kong 64.
I think I played like 26 of those 29 hours. It was a grind.
26 hours to beat it. That was not the quoted time that you said no it was
so what i realized is the game fucking sucks i already knew that it's a terrible game
in the middle of this experience i had the realization that i don't think i've hated
anybody's childhood more than gavin's between the tuxedo and donkey kong 64 your childhood was atrocious as far as
you can't you they're not together like i didn't like the tuxedo but i loved donkey kong but it's
all part of your childhood everything we keep dabbling into your childhood and everything
about it stinks it's not fun it's um the game is atrocious so how it works is you need bananas you need golden bananas to open
doors and then you need a certain number of level bananas that are different colors for each
character to fight the boss of the level so i just once i had enough golden bananas which i was able
to do in the first two or three levels i just sped run through the game collecting the bananas to
fight the bosses so they're like the last three levels i didn't even really play i was just collecting bananas to get there and it was just painful by
the end of it i think 80 of the way through i lost game audio again people are like where's the audio
and i was like i'm so sorry i cannot i can't risk this because it is one of the worst games i've
played in a really long time it is painfullyfully bad. It's tedious. It's just terrible.
I cannot afford.
My soul does not have another reset in me.
75% of the way through.
So it's like trying to land a plane that is duct taped together.
I was so worried that the first sign of the emulator crashing was going to be that the audio goes out.
Then I got stuck on a boss that requires audio cues.
So that was fun for like 50 minutes i figured
that out eventually is that the cannon into the thing the cardboard cut out yeah it's the cardboard
cut out boss luckily there's a pattern that is also visual but all of the guides are like yeah
just listen for this sound and then i was like you're fucking this is i might be stuck here i
might not be able to do this i have no audio uh. I get through that. It is now 5am.
Elden Ring is a really popular
game right now. I feel like
the creator of those Dark Souls games
was a big Donkey Kong 64 fan
because the final boss
is such bullshit.
It is horrendous.
It's a cool backdrop.
I wouldn't know because I've never
got to that as a kid,
and I've never beaten the game,
but I've seen videos,
and it's a five-round fight made up of smaller rounds,
and if you lose at any point,
you have to start the entire fight again.
You basically have to play as Donkey Kong,
Diddy Kong, Tiny Kong,
and if you lose then, you're all the way back to Donkey Kong.
Yeah.
It is a lot of staying
alive to get to that point. So it's
five rounds you have to play as each Kong.
If you die at any point, there's no
checkpoint. You have to go back to the beginning.
It probably is like a 10 to
15 minute boss fight in its entirety.
So doing this at like 5am,
I'm exhausted. I'm so
sick of these fucking Kongs. I'm having to
restart over and over. It was so bad, Gavin me like this is this is bad. This is terrible
But I got through it I beat it Sunday. I think it was like 5 a.m.. My time, and I won the bet
undefeated in gaming related bets
This is where I was watching it from
That is...
Were you on your way to England?
Yep. I was watching it from my living room.
That was me landing at Heathrow
and I just whipped it on. Dude, that's awesome.
It's the things that break your...
So as Gavin said the reason in the past,
he never beat it because you have to
replay three levels of the original Donkey Kong
in a row to get a coin that you need to progress through the story and it sucks it's a difficult
game to play he could never finish it and it took me a while it took me i want to say 80 minutes or
so to beat this thing and it was very stressful and i'm so excited i was like yeah i fucking did
like finally like this is one of the hurdles to get through one of the toughest parts
Of this thing they make you do it twice you have to do it twice in a row
I forgot about that
It was so deflating to do it and get essentially nothing for it and then immediately just be like yeah do it again
Just do it again for no reason pretty sadistic game it fucking sucks
How long did it take you to do the final boss uh the final boss took me probably an
hour how many times do you think you died in the process uh probably like five or six i'd say
it was i think in a different it's the fear of my emulator resetting everything as i got further
into the game that part of it became more stressful so it's 5 a.m i'm stressed and just
trying to get through that was a nightmare.
We really tried to steer you away from
putting yourself in that situation, but you were adamant
about it. Yeah. No, that was...
I'm not blaming anybody for that part
of it. That's my fuck-up. But
it was fun to do overall.
My only problem with this stream and the
previous Halo ones that you guys have done
is I love to get in and watch
them. And I watched way
more of this one than I commented on because anytime I get in the chat and try to talk to
people, they just accuse me of not being me. And then I have to jump through hoops to try to
convince people that I am me and I just give up. I'm tired of it. I'm just going to come up with,
I'm just going to go in as a different name. It's like, I can't ever have a conversation
without getting yelled at by 30 people to stop pretending to be me. I the same way i think uh who was it that banned me from their twitch
chat i don't remember what it was it was maybe it was it was like years ago a reddit post or
something where i was posting as me and they didn't believe it was me so i had to take a
photo of myself holding like what day
it was it was this insane
verification it felt like a hostage
situation it was absurd
it was just for some nonsense
take that had like zero
relevance to anything it's just bullshit
yeah
that was fun so I won the bet
you need to wear 64
pieces of clothing on an RT podcast at some point I get you need to wear 64 pieces of clothing on an rt podcast at some point
i get to pick one of those pieces of clothing i'm going to be i kind of have an idea right now but
i'll talk to jeff about it i'd love to get his opinion on it so this is actually great because
i have been on the rt podcast twice this week uh because this week wasn't busy enough so I said
fuck it I'll go on some other people's podcast too
so I had to do the RT podcast twice this week
and both times because it was
different casts people have said so Gavin
he doesn't come on the RT podcast anymore
and I got to go well I know he'll be
on at least once more
I can guarantee that
very
accurate well shit hmm gonna be a sweaty one I believe as soon as I I can guarantee that. Very accurate. Well, shit.
Hmm.
It's going to be a sweaty one.
I believe as soon as I won,
Gavin immediately texted me,
I need to buy some ties.
Yeah, I did.
We'll figure that out, though.
I have an idea.
I'd like to hear your thoughts, though, Jeff.
And at some point,
at some point,
Gavin will be wearing 64
pieces of clothing. That's very exciting.
A socks two or
one? What do you mean?
Like is a pair one or just
two socks? No one sock
is a sock so if you have a pair of socks
it's two socks.
Wow. Generous.
Aaron disagrees. I think that's fair.
I think that's like I'd be breaking what a sock is.
It's just I'd be changing the definition at that point.
Eric, why do you have such a problem with that?
Because it's a pair of socks.
Because you don't wear...
Yeah, but they say pair of pants too.
Okay.
Yeah, like if I put on one glove, am I wearing half of clothes?
Right, but you don't typically...
You could typically wear one glove. You can wear one glove doing something. Typically of clothes right but but you don't typically you could typically wear
one glove you can wear one glove doing something typically two socks are worn okay so a pair of
socks i think listen what if you've only got one leg for for for a podcast that's so hung up on
regulation i think it's very strange to draw the line where the two socks are individual things
instead of one,
especially after we sold socks and we had to sell them together.
So I don't understand what the issue,
I,
to me,
it doesn't make sense.
But if you buy a pair of socks,
it's two socks.
Yeah.
Nick says,
isn't a pair,
two things.
Yeah,
right.
Yes.
But,
but again,
typically when things are regulation worn,
it's two socks or one item.
I mean, I, I, like one item. I mean, I...
I acquiesce.
I have no dog in this fight.
I have no problem acquiescing to this.
What do I care?
I don't have to wear all the things.
It's fine.
I'm just saying that that's how it feels to me.
I feel like I'm talking to me.
Like, this is the reverse.
Like, I'm on the other side
for what's in one of these things.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand what you're saying,
but I don't know why.
Go ahead, Jeff.
I just, Eric's argument is persuasive.
I think I might be on Eric's side now.
I don't think it is.
I think I might be on Eric's side now.
How often are you walking around with one sock?
That's my thing.
I don't think that matters.
You can't go up to someone and say,
hey, throw me that socks.
What can you say, Gavin?
What would be the appropriate?
Have you ever asked anyone the socks plural of that?
So I feel like no matter like no matter what word you use, that's still a weird sentence to say to someone.
You're getting hung up on the thing that you're not wearing.
I am hung up on the thing that you are wearing, i am hung up on the thing that you are wearing
where it is two socks are typically counted like they're one item a pair a pair of socks is like
what you don't typically wear one sock that's what i'm saying again they can be individual
one sock can be one sock i'm i say go for it i'm just i'm saying that in terms of an outfit it just
it's strange to me i think you're completely right but i think by definition if somebody was like if are you agreeing with me and then telling
me no so i'm agreeing with i'm agreeing with the point you're saying but i'm disagreeing with its
use in this context i'm agreeing with what you're saying in the sense of like a if someone buys
a sock is like two socks is sold as an individual item.
It's one.
But in the context of if Gavin were to put one sock on, we wouldn't we wouldn't consider that a half an item.
I'll say this, Andrew, that was spoken like a true Internet lawyer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you still certified up on the website?
Oh, I'm still getting updates all the time for higher judge. get like two a week that's such a throwback that was over a year ago
it's really easy to get in deep lore gavin deep i think eric is more like andrew than he was when
we started face i think andrew is rubbed off on him i definitely think that there's i think that i
lean into it in this show because regulation is so important for this show for for face jam or any
other show who cares for this show regulation is apparently the most important thing in the
fucking world so i i'm just trying to figure out what the regulation sock is you know what eric i
i agree with you i think that's correct.
I think regulation is the most important thing in this show.
I think regulation is a sock.
Eric, would you be able to arrange me a fan for whenever we do that podcast?
You want like somebody to come and cheer you on or you want something to blow air at you?
Probably the air thing.
Okay.
Would be more useful.
Yeah.
I'll get you one of those little ones like you know like the little fan that you hold
Like a drink like a hand yeah like a head like she's a triple-a battery type fan
like a paper
Think socks count. I don't think something. I think this the clothing has to be surface level.
Like, it has to appear.
Like, you couldn't wear, like, 20 pairs of underwear.
What if you wore them over your pants?
Then that's allowed.
As long as it's a building up and not down.
I can't wear 20 underwear?
Well, as long as they're in front of the pants, I think, is the regulation. Well, does the initial pair of underwear...
The initial pair of underwear counts, though, right?
The initial pair counts.
Like, underwear count, pants count,
and then anything over pants counts.
Okay, cool, cool.
But you can't go underwear, underwear, underwear, pants, Gavin.
Which maybe you normally do, and if you do,
I would understand if I had the same body issues you do.
But they won't count in this instance.
Yeah, I don't think I've done that
since I had food poisoning that one time.
God, I had food poisoning.
They make gloves for individual
fingers.
Why would they make that?
Unless it's like one of those shitty
like, oh, look at how wacky I am.
I got finger gloves. You know what?
If you start talking individual finger gloves,
I'm definitely going over to Eric's side.
Cut that shit off.
Look, it's a bet against Andrew.
I have to loophole this somehow.
I've got to do what he would do.
That's true.
That's a good point.
I don't know if that's...
64 paper crowns from Christmas crackers.
You couldn't fit 64 crowns on your head.
Seems like a challenge.
There's a zero... I couldn't fit one on my head. Seems like a challenge. There's a zero percent.
I couldn't fit one on my head.
It's a nightmare.
The Christmas cracker crown head is way too big for that.
I'm going to text you the thing that I was thinking of, Jeff, and I'll just get your
immediate live reaction on the podcast.
Next time.
Well, I guess we're recording, too.
So next week or whenever we record again, next episode we'll lock it in i'll find something that we could definitively share but this is sort of
where my head's at just the the top part of what i just say it's my initial thought oh pulling it
up right now and i guess you should probably oh yeah so i'm yes okay excellent excellent excellent
excellent i i'm glad you're going in this direction.
Okay.
Oh, man.
That's not good for me.
I had that thought at some point.
And yeah, you're brilliant.
This is great.
It's really, really great.
Fantastic.
When do I find out?
About 10 minutes before the podcast, probably.
Next week, we'll do it.
I have...
If we want to talk about deep lore i have an update
i had something happen my life that that connects all the way back to the first episode of this
podcast oh real reach i got my haircut oh congratulations i haven't got my haircut since
december of 2019 i got my haircut it was a so this whole time you've had really long hair?
Yeah, it's gotten progressively
longer with this show.
I haven't had a single haircut
because I was waiting.
Yeah.
Are there photos?
No.
No photos.
God damn it.
That means
I haven't seen you
since we started F*** Face.
Oh, way before then.
Yeah, I know.
But I know in real life.
But I haven't even seen you like
on video or on a picture the entire time we've had this oh no it's my hair was like between my
shoulder blades it was long i've been picturing you all wrong this whole time it's my my hair
got to what the final straw was i was having issues where i'd go to like bring my neck up
like i'd get to lift my head and i wouldn't realize my hair was trapped behind my back and I'd whip my head back into the pillow I was giving myself whiplash I was
like I'm fucking I hate everything about this I'm done but it's as as we start stated in the first
episode my guy was in a retirement home which has been very difficult to get into during the
pandemic it's been a very restrictive part but unfortunately
for me uh he retired so i had to get a new guy did he go out to a farm out west with lots of
space to run around in he did i think he actually just moved upstairs i think since he was already
there he just took a took a place on the in the building but i got i got my haircut and i went
completely the other way i went from a retirement home to a place that has like graffiti art on the walls and skateboards.
And it's the vibe is couldn't be further from the other thing.
It was great.
I think the vibe of the retirement home is closer to your personal vibe.
You think so?
All the people magazines and royalty shit on the thing.
People cooking noodles in their kettles.
But so I had that happen.
And it feels great to have short hair.
Again, I hated.
That's blown my mind.
I really can't believe that every time I've been listening to you on F*** Face, you've had long hair.
Oh, it's been so long.
Blown my mind.
Not only has he had long hair, I bet he's had luscious locks.
I bet he's like swung it out of his eyes
suggestively a few times
when he laughed in the podcast.
We had no idea.
Is it really curly?
It was sort of curly, yeah.
It was just, it was very long and annoying.
I hated looking down.
I made looking down an annoyance.
It was terrible.
Yeah, I hated it too.
I did it as well for a bit.
Yeah.
I didn't wait an extra year though like you did.
It's just, it's not good. So so I have a new guy I bet you look like
Glenn Danzig with long hair
I don't know why
yeah
anyway how's your new guy
new guy's great but on
the way on the way
I was like walking around because I got there too early
so I was like I'm just going to kill some time so I was looking at
the different stores and I walk past this sign for this bagel place called My Hubby's Bagels.
And like a cute little logo.
And I was like, oh, a nice like a local and new bagel place going in.
This could be great.
I thought it seemed really cute.
I was excited about the bagel place.
Jeff just posted.
That actually isn't all that far off.
You're actually pretty accurate.
You're right.
It did look very much like that.
That's quite the forehead.
It is.
That's a fantastic forehead.
But I was walking around.
I found that in my hubby's bagel place.
And it seemed really cute.
And so when I came home,
I was looking at it on Twitter or whatever,
and I was like, oh, that's cool.
I would like updates on this place, because I like to get bagels from them.
Whenever they open, it just seems like a sweet, local place.
So I followed them.
I didn't think much of it.
I was telling, I told some of my friends about it.
I was like, oh, I encountered this cute bagel place.
And then like three or four days pass, and somebody said to me, oh, so you followed the bagel place and then like three or four days pass and somebody somebody said to me oh so you followed
the bagel place on twitter i was like what that's a weird yeah yeah i did but like why why are you
bringing this up three days later um what ended up happening was uh i accidentally followed the
bagel place on the face pod twitter account i didn't know i didn't know i signed in is that
because twitter is great you can have multiple accounts so you just swap between the two
i was signed in on the face pod twitter account and somebody commented to your account
why do you follow six people and one of them is my hubby's bagels so if you look if you look at our twitter account it's like it's
myself eric jeff gavin like the roosterteeth store maybe it's like one other it's a company thing
and then just my hubby's bagels they have 23 followers and one of them is Facebook. You gotta leave that on there forever.
I can't take it off.
The reply was to the person,
you like what you like.
As to why we still have these pickles.
That's amazing.
Do they sell t-shirts?
They're not even open yet.
I didn't think that ever worked.
Putting your Twitter handle on your store.
Like who,
who I was thinking like who actually ever goes and follows those,
but you do,
you're one of those people.
Well,
it's just,
I would like to know when they open.
So it just seemed convenient.
Like,
I don't know.
I'm not like going to be in that area all that often.
So I was like,
this will be,
this will be great.
I'll be able to check this out whenever I'm hoping for a future of,
uh,
haircuts and bagels. It's like a yeah like a one two like a one two get some bagels
go in get my haircut but it's just it was so funny i was so i felt so dumb that i followed
and i can't wait for their perspective they haven't followed back to my knowledge um but we
can hope that's such an exclusive slot. No idea.
Dude, I just posted their website.
Bagels look good.
They're going to be more info posted soon.
Yeah.
They look great.
They just seem like a cute, like, gay couple.
What if?
They're a bagel shop.
It's great.
What if we're a bagel podcast now?
I'm absolutely a bagel guy,
so it would make sense, I feel.
This is what we should do. As soon as we come to
see you, Andrew, maybe that's where we'll have our first breakfast.
We're going to buy
all these bagels.
Yeah, that's a great idea. Before we go crabbing,
we'll eat bagels. I want an everything bagel.
I think those are raisins, Eric.
That is too many raisins.
Why would you have so many raisins with a
baked good?
There's a raisin bagel there. good? That's a lot of raisins.
There's a raisin bagel there.
I think it's a raisin bagel.
I think it's like a style.
It's supposed to be like, look at these raisins.
Like these are the ingredients, not like 150 raisins.
No, it's more like fresh ingredients, right?
I assume so.
I think they're trying to be like, this is the vibe.
These are the fresh raisins.
These are the bagels.
Because they also put the cream cheese.
First off, fuck cream cheese, right?
They put the cream cheese in a glass container.
Like, who the fuck does that?
Also, fuck glass.
But that's a whole conversation for later.
Fuck glass.
Fuck glass.
That'll be next episode.
Fuck glass.
It's a fucking big pile of cinnamon.
Yeah, nobody's going to eat that much cinnamon
unless they're doing a TikTok challenge.
So you have a problem with glass next episode.
Nah, fuck glass.
I don't want to talk about this.
We got too much other stuff to talk about.
Fucking glass.
I'm just sick of it.
How was Europe, Gavin?
How was that?
It was good.
Good times.
Saw some family.
When I got back, I actually went to Tumble 22.
Nice little chicken place.
It's Nashville hot chicken, if you're wondering.
It's delicious.
Yeah, and the waitress there, she mentioned that she was listening to F*** Face.
And I realized, my favorite thing in the world
is when someone who is currently working has to say that they like a podcast called face it just
sounds so funny and like in a professional environment like oh can i get these out of
your way do you want this thing it's like by the way really love face let people around listening
so good and it wasn't like a just a generic like, oh, it's a good podcast.
It was she was literally like right up to date.
She was complaining about how terrible your list was, Andrew, of 20,000 things.
And I was like, damn, that's like the most recent one to come out.
She's really up to date.
She told Gavin he salad creamed the list.
Yeah.
And then we were talking, Jeff and I were talking about how it's so fun that we have
like our own little language almost amongst the the listeners yeah like the like the the i would
love to see like a face dictionary with all the face verbs like face salad cream
oh i wonder i wonder what bagel will be a verb for someday.
Post the photos of it in the chat.
They have 23 followers and us,
and the second one is who f***ed Facebook.
I don't know what I thought.
Followed by f***ing Facebook.
We've got to go there.
We've got to get added to the list of, the immensely long list of things we've got to do there we've got to get added to the list of the immensely long list of things
we've got to go there oh my god we have to spend more than a week there
i feel like andrew you're secretly dreading us eventually showing up um in your hometown i think
you're gonna to hate it.
Why do you think that? Do you think I think that or do you think I will end up hating it?
No, I don't think you should hate it. I just think
you're dreading that moment.
I get the same when we're actually nearby you.
Really? No, it's not. It's the opposite
because I feel I'm going to get validated
first of all about my door situation.
That'll be the first thing.
It's going to be a very validating trip
for me because i think you're gonna be on board with that then you're gonna actually go into my
place and realize the fucking hall of mirrors that i live in and how absurd that i'm just
explaining it correctly but none of this i feel like it's gonna be a real eye-opening trip for
the two of you and we can go get bagels i think it it's going to be a great time. I'm so excited for what it
eventually happens.
Yeah, I think we're going to
I appreciate Jeff thinking we need a week. I don't know
what we're going to do. We're going crabbing.
Do you have any? Well,
we might do a bathtub race depending
on what time of year we go up there. Although I
refuse to step foot in Canada in June.
That's not going to happen.
Are there any museums
on your island?
Yeah, there's a museum.
There's a few museums.
Check out the museum.
Learn about the Nanaimo Bar.
We can play tennis.
You don't know the Nanaimo Bar, Gavin?
What's the Nanaimo Bar?
It's the only thing that the place I live live
in is known for it's a dessert
it was it's called the Nanaimo bar
it's a it's a it's a pastry type
it's uh you don't bake it I don't
think is what makes it unique it's
like chocolate pastry it's well
it's like a chocolate brownie type thing
it's like chocolate with a layer of
icing
and I'm into it.
We'll get three of them. Yeah, one of those.
There's coconut. The traditional recipe
is walnuts in the bottom, but people
also use coconut as a replacement.
Oh, I feel like I've had that before. Yeah,
I'm sure you have. It's the Nanaimo bar.
It's all we have. We have that and
bathtub racing.
And Andrew Panton.
And the Vancouver Child Kicker.
That's a name.
Well, that's alleged.
You know, we don't know who that is.
We don't know where that belongs.
Vancouver, technically, not even Nanaimo.
It's a different place.
Can't take credit on that.
Oh, that does look yummy.
I'm not sure if we have anything else.
They're okay.
I don't love them.
Is there anything else we can do? What does Nanaimo have to offer? We can play tennis. We can do the ladder. Yeah,'t love them. Is there anything else we can do?
What does Nanaimo have to offer?
We can play tennis.
Yeah, we have that.
We have a curling rink.
You probably don't have one of those.
We'll go curling.
I mean, isn't that just an ice rink, though?
Is that like a separate, specific rink?
Yeah, it's a different rink.
You can't just ice skate on the curling rink.
So we have to do teams, then?
Yeah. I guess we would. So we have to do teams then? Yeah.
So who's on whose team?
Not it.
I assume Eric and Nick are also coming.
Not at who?
What?
Is that you don't want to be on my team?
Is that you don't want to be on my team?
I need to review the video before I make any draft picks.
I need to see the shovel work done by both of you to determine who I think would be the best on the field.
Do you think shoveling skills translate to curling?
I think because the broom,
you got the person on the broom in the front.
The broom isn't, you don't stab the ice with the broom.
No, but mechanically
they're very similar motions.
I'll say this of Gavin's
shoveling skills, Andrew, if it helps.
That video, we
had about an hour's worth of footage, raw footage.
Gavin put all of his shoveling
stuff in the video you saw.
That's bullshit.
I didn't shovel for one second longer
than what you watched. You watch the entirety of his effort
all right let's just see how the uh the main cut of this video turns out
I go the foot
I would say yeah it was mainly me filming no I'm just kidding you filmed probably
probably put in like 20 25 percent of the digging you did two certainly broke the hammer I would say, yeah, it was mainly me filming. No, I'm just kidding. You filmed a lot.
I probably put in like 20, 25% of the digging.
You did two shifts.
You certainly broke the hammer.
That was good.
Yeah.
I thought that hammer thing was such a good idea.
It was.
It made a great video.
Can you send me that later, Gavin?
That video?
I just need to have it in my life.
I need to be able to go back and watch it.
Are you going to be watching that in bed tonight?
Yeah, I will. I'll be laying down. You sent me a video once
of your trash cans getting
hit over and over by different things.
It's like a three... It was like a three-act story of and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over It was, well, that was, that's what doesn't really come across in the video is that when, and it's recycling, so it's every two weeks, when your recycling gets eaten,
they don't bring another one until like the next cycle.
So I'm missing a recycling.
I wait two weeks for one to come.
I have it for a week.
It gets swallowed again by the truck.
I request another one.
You know, we're talking like six weeks in at this point.
I'm on my third bin.
The neighbor steals it. Request another one. We're talking like six weeks in at this point. I'm on my third bin. The neighbor steals it.
I request another one.
And then finally, a car drives into it
because my alcoholic neighbors went for a drive.
I'm a lot faster at bringing them in now.
You live the real story of these people hate cans,
but it's just everybody.
It's specifically yours.
It's just your can.
I missed you guys.
This is a lot of fun.
I missed you too.
I missed all you guys.
I'm excited to play Halo again too.
We need to do that.
We need to play games again.
We need to record another episode.
There's another thing we need to do.
We should probably wrap up.
Let's do that right now.
On this one.
And go into the next one.
Well, there you go.
You've gone and listened to...
That's my car talking.
You've listened to Wasted Another Hour,
listening to Click and Clack,
and Jeff and Gavin,
and Eric and Nick and
oh, Andrew.
We sure hope you enjoyed
it because we enjoyed catching
up and
mixing it up a little bit, shooting the shit
as it were.
It was a good time.
So if you thought it was a good time,
why don't you go ahead and drop a little like
down there or a plus one or a, why don't you go ahead and drop a little like down there
or a plus one or, I don't know, five stars out of five.
If there are more options, put more stars.
If it's 10 out of 10 stars, do the 10 stars.
If it's on a 100 scale, give us,
you don't have to give us 100, but give us like a 98 at least.
Make us at least as good as a condom is effective.
And we'll see you next time.
Hey, guys.
Minor League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
It's episode 96 and the fridge strikes back.
The boys go cup crazy.
Gavin has a good cat back.
Tommy Lee Jones is a F*** Face fan.
Jeff is ready to hit some balls.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. Jeff is ready to hit some balls. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.