Regulation Podcast - We Are 138 // 8 Hour Fireplace Video [138]
Episode Date: January 25, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Utah sodas, We Are 138, Gavin singing Taio Cruz, Andrew's Updates, a freelance regulation bagel, Trials Files, a year of L's, Halo 5, 4 terabytes of fireplace video..., summer fireplace video, the pouch, 2023 so far, Andrew's coins, Geoff's bike turns on him, and becoming a blanket guy. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face21 + code face21 ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face and BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Raspberry Dream. That sounds pretty good, actually.
Bloody Wild.
Spring Fling.
It's the ones when you start getting down into like,
yeah, we've mixed Texas Tab,
Dr. Pepper Vanilla and Coconut Cream.
Yeah, I will say though,
the Endless Summer Mountain Dew,
Pomegranate, Grapefruit and Fresh Lime
sounds fucking good.
It's just so much.
Is that not like, that's like so much
i feel like any place is stretching when they give a section of their menu to cookies
when you just see a cookie section on a menu that place doesn't have a lot you don't know how uh you
don't know how utah feels about cookies man uh i i will say that like i i understand what you're
saying it's definitely weird but as somebody who doesn't drink alcohol, he used to drink alcohol.
Anything you can do to spruce up a non-alcoholic drink makes my life easier.
And also, I'm looking at these.
None of these are more complicated than any fucking mixed drink, including.
But it's not the complication that's getting me.
I'm not I'm not concerned with the complication.
But it's not the complication that's getting me.
I'm not concerned with the complication.
It's that there are drinks on here that are mixing half and half with soda.
The heartbreaker.
Dr. Pepper, blackberry, coconut, half and half.
Gavin, would you drink that?
What is the ingredients?
It is Dr. Pepper, blackberry flavoring, coconut flavoring, and half and half.
The half and half is a bit off-putting. I'd try it, but it sounds like just a sugary mess. Yeah, but I agree with you, but I wouldn't want half and half and half. The half and half is a bit off putting. I'd try it, but it sounds like just a sugary mess.
Yeah, but I agree with you,
but I wouldn't want half and half in anything
other than coffee or something that I'm cooking.
You know what I mean?
I don't like the Tehrani bottles.
Who's drinking this?
People in Utah.
I don't like the bottles in the second photo,
the Tehrani.
Like there's something to me,
I feel like that guy is
mixing something that would give me a skill point in bioshock like just for how those bottles look
like there's just i don't know there's something off-putting about it dude i made a moscow mule
on new year's eve that i couldn't breathe next to really yeah that wow that was crazy it it was
i don't know if you put too much ginger beer in it or what,
but you couldn't drink it.
It was impossible.
It wrecked the air.
If I went to take a sip and I was inhaling,
it just made me cough for like 10 straight seconds.
What a crazy way to learn that Gavin's a pro-Russia guy.
I would have never guessed.
Speaking of pro... I'm not not gonna start off like that hello and welcome
to another episode of the face podcast this is episode 138 uh my name is jeff ramsey with me as
always uh gavin free andrew pantin do you guys can you guys name a song that has the word 138 in the title because one just jumped to my mind. 138.
No.
I can think of four or five seconds.
45?
Is that 45 seconds or is it four or five?
21 seconds?
No, the Paul McCartney, Kanye West.
Oh, four or five seconds.
That's four or five seconds, I think is what it's called.
That's a great fucking song, by the way.
Eight, six, seven, five.
There's a
Misfits song called We Are 138
that was really good.
That's exact.
That's why I saw it at 138.
That's the first thing that popped into my mind.
I used to have it on some live album, maybe Evil Live,
where they had Henry Rollins from Black Flag
come on and sing it with them.
It was a cool little live recording.
That's impressive.
I didn't think you'd have an actual song.
Eric says there's a big one.
Yeah, the big one is We Are 138 by The Misfits.
I don't think that would be considered a big song in any sense.
Yeah, I'm just thinking more along the lines of it hits 138 very specifically.
It's also the lyrics of that song are fucking dumb.
It's We are 138.
We are 138.
We're the eye of the tiger.
Oh.
I think that's right.
We are 138.
Let me see.
Here's the full.
I'm going to read
the full lyrics to you.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
Stick with me here.
We are 138. We are 138. We are 138. We are 138. Stick with me here. We are 138.
We are 138.
In the eyes of the tiger.
Do you think we're robot clean?
Does this face look almost mean it's time to be an android, not a man?
The pleasantries are gone.
We're stripped of all we were in the eyes of the tiger.
This is the best part.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138.
We are 138. we are in 38, we are in 38, we are in 38, we are in 38, we are in 38, we are in 38, and then it ends with 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8 Andrew texted me about that the other night. I did, because I was playing a music trivia game
where they play the song and you have to guess it,
and that song came on,
and because of Gavin's lyrical change,
all I hear is the bucket of AIDS thing,
and it ruins the whole song
because I don't know where it's supposed to go,
so I'm just constantly anticipating it
and inserting it into every line.
It's like the very first bit of the song.
It's after he talks about Tommy.
He's talking about the union.
They've been on strike.
Don't worry about it.
And then he talks about Gina.
Well, the problem is I was listening to it in a context that I didn't know where we were going into with the song.
Like, it just started playing.
I didn't know what verse we were in if we're in the middle.
It was a whole thing.
I don't like songs that assume you're supposed to know who people are.
Like, are we supposed to know who Tommy is?
No, I don't think so. No, it's just a song
about a dude. He's just telling a story.
I need a better intro.
I know he used to work for the dogs.
What more do you want to know about Tommy?
Tommy was 17.
He dropped out of high school.
Listen to the fucking rest of the song.
Go further than one
fucking verse
he tells you i get very distracted by gina drinking the barrel of aids to be honest
i was thinking about that after we recorded that episode gavin you used to sing i don't know if
you even know this but you used to sing a song around achievement hunter way back in the day
that i had i knew of the song you know you hear it in the background but it was like a popular
music song that i just didn't cross my path.
And so you would sing it wrong.
And for a while, I thought that your lyrics were the real lyrics,
until I heard it on TV.
But you used to sing,
I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes,
singing, hey-o, where's the mayo?
And I thought that was the song for maybe two weeks.
Why?
Why would you remember that?
Because that's
how I learned the song.
It was from Gavin singing it.
It's crazy to me that you missed
that song.
Where's the bear?
I mean, I had heard the song, but never
listened to it. And then when Gavin was singing it
around, I was like, oh, I guess that's the fucking song.
And then I thought for maybe two two weeks about the amount of time,
you know,
it's just one of those things where Gavin tricked me and didn't even
realize he tricked me.
I always wanted to,
uh,
do like direct,
like a Hellman's commercial and have a party.
Have you talked to the Hellman's company about it?
No,
you know what?
I never did.
Uh,
I'll reach out for you.
I'll let them know.
We got a really good pitch.
Like,
I think it would crush because
there was a commercial
that was all about Scoop There It Is
where they changed the lyrics from
Whoop There It Is to Scoop There It Is
for like ice cream or something.
Yeah, it was like chocolate peanut butter cookie dough.
See?
You could do this.
This is a good idea.
It is a good idea.
I don't know if it's an idea.
It's an idea they would take.
Speaking of reaching out,
Andrew, did you make any progress
on finding the bussy bus?
Thank you so much for guiding it there.
Wow, it's almost like we organized this.
I've had in my notes
things I've meant to update on
that I haven't.
First one is bus research.
Seattle Breakers,
now the Thunderbirds.
So I tried to do some research.
They have changed team names
several times since this has happened.
Also changed ownership several times.
What's incredible
is the guy that got traded for the bus
has never, from what I could tell,
he's never seen the bus.
Because the next season
when they were supposed to play against them,
they got the bus confiscated at the border because they had somebody on their team that was from Europe illegally.
Like they didn't, I guess, have proper paperwork or whatever.
So they confiscated the bus and I guess he never just played against them again.
So he hasn't even seen the bus.
I reached out to the current team.
I emailed their email all on their team website, which I believe is now the Seattle Thunderbirds.
They did not get back to me. I've not
got a reply. So we're still
digging. We're doing some research on that.
The other things I can update on
are jet ski covers.
How many people in our audience owns jet skis
according to emails I have received?
Do you guys have a guess for how many
jet ski owners we have in the audience?
35.
Four.
I said three.
Eric's guess is 14.
We apparently have 51.75 jet skis in our audience.
No way.
Dang.
Wait, how's their decimal?
It's just somebody complained about where they live.
That it's so shitty to use that it doesn't count as two full ones that they've got
1.75
so we got 51.75
jet skis which is a lot more than three
which is what I anticipated yeah
and I guess
the last update not a not a happy one but
my hubby's bagels closed just sad
obviously talked about it on
the show so we never got to go
no I'm so disappointed i was really
excited for you guys to try the regulation bagel uh it was so thank you to all the people that
would like send me photos and stuff like they would travel from all over that list of the show
and they check out the bagel shop i just felt like i should bring it up on the show so if people are
planning on coming here for that specific reason they are not disappointed even our whole podcast
couldn't keep that place going yeah Yeah, I was about to say,
I can't help but feel like
we failed them in some way,
and I don't know why,
because we probably did
more to promote them
than anybody else.
Well, we stopped there, didn't we?
We may have stopped,
but the photos never stopped.
It made me so happy.
I'd constantly see photos
and updates from people
that went in,
and I know it meant so much to them
that never anyone would come in
and order it.
So does that mean our bagel is looking for a new home?
I guess so.
I don't know.
I feel like it may have died with them.
I don't know.
I'm in a grieving process.
I'm not ready to think about a new bagel.
That's a,
that's a good point.
Hey,
if you own a bagel shop,
uh,
somewhere in America or can't fuck,
if you own a bagel shop anywhere in the world and you are a listener,
we have a regulation bagel.
That's currently without
a team uh we we'd be we'd be willing to sign with your bagel company uh just just drop an email to
andrew and you can make it secret menu you don't have to get stuff printed we don't we're hat we
prefer secret menu we're secret menu people i'm i'm just so blown away you remembered i throw my
sandwich in the i haven't i don't think I've said that in like eight or nine years.
How did you remember it?
I don't know.
I just did.
I'll tell you why, Gavin.
Because you matter to me.
The things that you say stick with me.
I love that.
That's special.
Last week, I foolishly faced myself by starting uh just challenging andrew got bored
thought i'd take him on challenging him to uh trials he beat me back he beat my time while
we were recording i beat his time back and then he continued to not only beat my time but then
just keep playing and beating his own time so much that I didn't possibly have a chance.
Well, okay. So what
happened was, I didn't know the setup. We have a lot
to talk about because you guys did a Fireplace
video that I know nothing about.
As far as I know, it's still exporting
or maybe it didn't even happen at all. Maybe you
couldn't even start the Fireplace. But I knew
you were, okay, well I knew you guys were
filming it and I saw you pop in the
trials to try to beat the time back.
So I thought it'd be really funny
if I didn't know what the capture setup was,
if somebody caught your reaction of realizing
that I had lowered the time a little bit
while you were trying to get the new time.
And I lowered it by a lot more than I anticipated.
I had a really good run,
and it popped into, like, the top 1,000.
Because we're already at the point
where we're shaving off, like, 0.05 of of a second maybe 0.1 if we're lucky and then we all saw you pop up
online firstly i should say that in the middle of filming this fireplace video jeff and i left
to go get an xbox so that i could play trials turns out that eight hours is a really really
long time you have time for lots of activities in eight hours yeah we're
just driving around came back play some trials but we all saw you log on so we knew what was
happening i thought you were either trying to trap a score or uh or you're just trying to beat
your score so we watched your replay because once you get your time good enough i think it's in the
top 5 000 or something or top 2 000 you can actually watch that person's
replay and then we were like studying your replay and then we went to study it again and it was
completely different you went from doing all these kinds of flips to a weird backflip to just
no flips just driving to the end and it was so far you shaved off i think 0.3 seconds yeah it was a
big it was a big shave off was that captured
was like you guys recording or something no not really mainly focused on just the fire and i was
immediate i i think i was miserable within six seconds of playing it was it was so fun to watch
gavin who's such an upbeat you know know, peppy guy typically, just instantly
instantly get
fucking miserable and depressed. Like, he
we plugged it in. We got it all set
up. We're like, I don't know
fucking maybe six minutes in
to what's gonna be six
hours of Gavin playing Trials.
He just goes, ah,
sucks, I can't believe I
and it's like, Gavin, you've only tried five times.
You can't be mad yet.
And he was just already in his feelings.
Because I get this point where I'm sort of in the zone for about five or six attempts.
And then I just start autopiloting terrible to the point where I'm not even paying attention.
I don't even know what I'm doing.
I forget whether I'm leaning forwards or backwards.
And I do that for like half an hour.
Do you want to see a picture of me attempting it?
I would love to see a photo of you attempting it.
I don't know why you did it.
We talked about this before.
You hate playing the game.
You just think it looks ugly.
Oh, Jack.
Here's me trying to be your type.
You brought in Jack as like a pinch hitter.
That makes me even happier.
Here's something about the eight hour video.
I was saying there was a lot of time.
We had enough time to call Jack,
tell him to come over.
Jack was like,
I'm not even ready.
I got to take a shower.
And we were like,
we've got plenty of time,
buddy.
Jack took a shower,
drove all the way across town.
And then he still had probably six hours there of just playing trials over and
over again.
And if you hadn't beaten so much of your own time,
yeah, I think Jack would have been think Jack would have been the one.
It's just you shaved off 0.3 of a second,
and he was edging closer and closer,
but he just wasn't able to get done.
I will say the wildest thing was watching...
Gavin, before he called in Jack,
improved his time considerably,
and actually to the point where I think
he probably beat some of your earlier times,
but you had already blown past him.
But there was progress the entire eight hours.
And then Jack came and he kept getting closer and closer.
But it was just insurmountable, the lead that you built.
It was honestly a joy.
Well, firstly, Jack couldn't have been more excited to come over and play Triwizard.
Oh my God, he was so happy.
He sat down.
It was like watching someone come back to their favorite chair.
Like everything just felt right in his hand.
He was like, oh, yeah.
And he immediately was like beating my time.
It's like probably within eight or so attempts.
He was in the green, but it just couldn't be done.
He was really struggling right at the end there.
And then we had to, and then the fire went out and we packed up and left.
That's so funny because I gave you extra time
because I didn't know if every time I beat my time,
if then you should have 24 hours from that time.
So I offered you like,
I'll give you another full day if you want it.
And you're like, nah, I'm going to take the loss.
I had no idea it was because Jack was playing.
What was my response?
I think you said like, fuck off, I'll eat the gum.
Yep. I think you said like fuck off I'll eat the gum yep I feel like 2023 is gonna be all about
Gavin taking L's
like he's definitely taking a loss
on the trials thing
definitely took a loss on the monopoly
money I'm assuming it is now 2023
I mean we've
we can't be forgetting that anytime I go
head to head with Andrew I lose the only time Andrew loses is when he's against himself, trying to eat burgers.
If he's against me, he's good.
The only person that Andrew can't beat is Andrew.
It's true.
I was going to say undefeated against myself, but it's the opposite.
What is never winning?
What is a streak of always losing?
What would be a word for that?
Loser?
Stupid loser?
But it's against me. what is is there a word
that is like the equivalent of undefeated but unwitting yeah you're like it's a i think it
face encompasses that yeah no that's fair i'm i'm a face against myself i guess i don't know
there's like a weird phrasing of that but yeah i don't i'm committed for the entirety of the show
however long it goes i don't want to lose a single video game bet to Gavin.
That is my goal.
So far, I've been able to maintain to that.
Is there a game where I would have the edge?
I just don't.
I don't think there is.
I think my just base level skill isn't good.
I want you to find one.
I encourage you to find whatever.
Andrew, are you running away?
Are you running away from your microphone?
Are you scared of your microphone?
I haven't done anything.
He sounds like he's in his own mouth.
2023 is off to a technical difficulty start.
That's great.
I didn't do anything.
Where'd you go?
What'd you do?
Were you trying to print something?
Can you hear me?
What's different about your setup?
Nothing.
I literally changed nothing.
Okay, here's the thing.
I don't believe that at all no what's
different about your setup i didn't touch a single thing i moved my phone i just don't believe it i
just why would my phone i don't know i i pushed the wire in i guess harder i don't know if the
wire came loose but i don't i don't know i didn't do anything are you in the browser still yeah of
course i'm still in the browser clear your cash we can't hear you why would i download the app the browser works great oh that's fantastic i think i did download
the browser after the mvp issue uh or the app not the browser i gotta have my tabs up got my my
notes for the show got everything i need i could i do that in the app i'd have to click away
that'd be lost while we're talking briefly about video games,
I just want to say something.
You guys know a while back,
Millie and I were going through all of Halo together
to get ready for Halo Infinite,
and then Infinite launched without co-op,
and then continued not to have co-op
until about a month ago.
And so when we realized co-op,
but where we stopped was, you know,
we had the time of our lives going through all of that and i think i probably talked about how like weird and rewarding
and awesome it was to like play halo with like really play the campaign with millie for the
first time yeah how you downloaded halo 4 separately even though it's in the master chief
right right right and and like just getting to show her like old rvb easter eggs and have it
like for once be cool to her what i do you know uh and as we kind of bonded and kind of fell in
love with halo uh with each other there um but we stopped at halo 5 like we got about halfway
through halo 5 and we were both looked at each other we were like we're just not feeling this
so when infinite came out uh i was like shit we better get back on the game
let's go play infinite and millie was like we can't until we finish halo 5 and so we hemmed and
hawed and we put it off for like three weeks and we just went it went through and finished halo 5
over the weekend i don't know what my fucking problem was we had the most fun i guess i just
needed time from four to five or time from all the previous Halo games because we were going one after another hot and heavy.
And then we hit five and it just like ground to a halt.
How far into five?
We were like maybe five levels in when we stopped.
And I think it's a 14 level game.
But some of those levels are bullshit.
Just like running around talking to like Halsey or the on saying Helios or whatever, you know, they're not like real levels.
Halsey or the on saying Helios or whatever,
you know,
uh, they're not like real levels.
Um,
but I guess taking the year off or whatever,
or the distance helped.
I,
I had the time of my life beating Halo five with her and completely and
totally enjoyed it.
And I don't know why I,
I'd played through the game.
I think this is my fourth time beating it,
I think.
And I don't remember enjoying it in the first three times,
but I had a pass this time.
I really, I really don't. Maybe it was cause we broke it up or just play. Yeah. Like, I don't remember enjoying it in the first three times, but I had a blast this time. I really don't.
Maybe it was because
we broke it up,
or I just played it.
I don't know,
but it was a fucking blast.
I think you had a
really good time with
Millie and Halo 5
was there.
I don't know,
man.
Level 13,
where we had to fight
the three,
what do you call them,
the Warden Eternals
or whatever,
the Warden Eternal
who splits into three,
that was a lot of fun.
I'm going to do that
on Lassa.
This is a good level.
I remember really enjoying it.
Maybe I need to revisit it.
I hated Halo 5.
Maybe it's because maybe you just
need time away from other Halo to play it.
You just need distance
to appreciate it for what it is.
I'm excited to play Infinite now
because I want to know what the fuck happens
after beating Halo 5.
I had a big problem with the spawns in that game.
With the spawns?
They just come out of portals
and you never know how close you are
to being done with an area.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't feel like...
Would you say Halo Infinite has much to do with 5, Gavin?
I don't think those stories really connect at all.
I feel like they drop a lot of stuff
from Halo 5 into Infinite.
Yeah, I'd say 5 is almost completely irrelevant
to that story. But it ends
with, alright, well I don't want spoilers because I haven't
played it yet, but it ends with
Cortana convincing most of the other
AI to join
her
mission, her plan, to
enforce peace by
force, and then like,
if you beat it on legendary,
you get a cut scene where she turns a halo on.
So then I assume my,
my assumption is the halo infinite now takes place on that halo.
And they're still trying to track down Cortana and stop her or convince her
to knock it off or whatever.
Is that not the case?
Is that none of that in halo infinite?
You have to be prepared for there to be a huge chunk
of time missing between Halo 5 and
Infinite. And I think there's a bit of
Halo Wars 2 that bridges the gap, and
it's a whole thing. It's quite
different. Well, we'll get to it eventually.
That's good. I'm excited
for you to play that. Thanks. Yeah, this is not a video game
podcast, so I don't want to get too deep in the weeds, but
I just gotta say that my opinion
of Halo 5 changed over time
am I allowed Andrew
to challenge you to a
game that you've never
played yeah give you
24 hours on a
completely absolutely
whatever you want I'm
happy with that's gonna
be really I feel like
anytime I challenge you
I just make you look
really good I just
look like a chump
listen for every time
I look good beating you in something i'm
losing six bets against myself so it balances out there's no there's zero chance of me looking good
overall i don't know you haven't done one of your own bets in a while that burger confidence never
grew back no i listen the burger confidence takes a toll there's a genuine physical toll that comes
i threw in the towel on the last one like That was the retirement. I took one too many fights.
Round two, I was like,
I can't do this.
You were Roy Jones Jr.
I was.
Yeah.
I was.
It was my no mas moment.
I was done.
I was very publicly done.
But yeah, I'd love...
You can pick whatever you want.
Doesn't matter.
Any genre, any type, any game,
any challenge.
Should we talk about this fireplace video like we should
talk about both of our fireplace how do you guys want to address it because i know andrew hasn't
seen it yet and you wanted to like go in without any information yeah i i think it's best for the
audience that we talk about it i think there's okay it's fine i'll sacrifice knowing some things
in advance about it well i'll
say about a year ago we came up with the idea to film a 4k fireplace video that didn't loop
because we were bitching about how the fireplace videos looped and so i think we joked around
about making an eight hour fireplace video in fork in 8k rather because 4k is everybody because
there's a bunch of 4k fireplace videos but we we hadn't seen any. They were 8K.
And then I'll be honest with you, audience, like a lot of jokes and bits.
We completely and totally fucking forgot about it until about a month ago.
Somewhere on social media, I saw a thread or a post that was like, whatever happened to that fireplace video?
And we were like, oh, shit, we did promise that.
So then we tried for about a month to get it together uh but you know what scheduling us is like uh and so it was very difficult to get
it done before christmas well we tried for a month to put it together and then you tried for about a
week to get us to not do it yeah that was another thing too where like nobody wanted to do it and i
especially didn't want to do it but you know what I'm so fucking glad we did because I had the best time.
I had the best time hanging out with you guys,
tending a fire for eight hours and coming up with dumb little shenanigans and
stuff to do.
And then it was,
I turned into like a party cause like,
you know,
a major league fan,
Jack came over and Eric's small wife came over and my fiance,
Emily came over and it just turned into,
and there was a dog and it was so fun.
It was a lovely bonding day.
And I'm actually really happy with the final product.
Gavin, do you want to talk about like the challenges of recording eight hours of 8K
video uninterrupted and then trying to get it down to a size that can be put up on YouTube?
Yeah, I will say the fun ended
the second we stopped recording
and I was left trying to download.
I think in total, I did the maths
based on the Google Drive size folder.
We shot nine times more data in eight hours
than every single episode of F*** Face
combined with all of our different options.
And that was when you're using stereo audio and had double the audio size of everybody else i still have is that that was about four terabytes
right it was it was about four terabytes about eight and a bit probably close to eight and a
half hours of total footage and uh the timeline i had to drop each
file in which took each one took so long to import and every time i made a change in the timeline
my computer would just like pause and pinwheel for like 30 seconds so just to add like a crossfade
by like dragging one clip over so i had room to crossfade then dragging the other one and then
applying the crossfade took a total of like five minutes for each thing just because my computer was struggling to do it.
And we planned to do a bunch of stuff with the audio,
but all I'm going to do is put on some fire-crackling sounds
because my computer, which is pretty state-of-the-art,
cannot handle an eight-hour, 8K timeline.
Gavin told Eric and I the other night, he texted us,
that he had to turn his monitor off
because there was such a power draw. Yeah guess when uh when i had everything in the timeline and i did a test export
my computer drew more power than it ever has before and overloaded my ups it drew like an
extra 700 watts of power and the thing was just churning out hot air and i had to bring in fans
i had to turn off everything else
that was plugged into the UPS.
Your computer was hotter than the fire.
You achieved new levels of heat.
It probably was.
I think the GPU is like 80, 87 degrees,
which is much hotter than the room.
Oh my God.
Well, I,
and you got it down to a size
that can be uploaded to YouTube.
So we will put this 8K, eight hour video up uh just in time for next christmas uh i don't it might it might
already be up by now i don't know i don't know when the plan to go up is yeah i'm basically
waiting for i have to do some actual work on my computer and then when it's going to be free for
an extended period i'm going to do the full export and hope that it uploads to YouTube.
Because if it goes slightly over the size,
I'm still messing with settings.
I'll have to just re-export the entire thing.
It's going to suck.
No.
I will say,
if you,
when it comes out,
if you got nothing to do for eight hours,
we did stuff.
Not a lot of stuff.
It's Easter egg-y stuff, but we did interact not a lot of stuff it's easter eggy stuff
but we did interact with the fire in little face ways sprinkled throughout the entire eight hour
recording that's great as a stat each frame of the video is 32 megapixels jesus each fuck
hey i thought it was 12 but I did the math wrong.
It's 32.
Oh my God.
I can't wait to watch all eight hours of this fire.
Yeah, and I had an idea last night.
I was thinking about what a success this 8K video was
and how happy I am we made it
and how accomplished I feel
creating what should be, to my knowledge,
the world's only 8K, 8-hour, non-looping fireplace Yule log video.
They got me thinking, that's great and all,
and it's a great accomplishment,
but there's no Yule log video for the summer.
Why don't we invent the summer log video
and start that trend?
And we're trying to figure out what that is.
Emily and I were trying to figure out what that is.
I think one summer day, we need
to rent a pool and then put
the camera right in front of the pool
and then just push pool floaties back and forth
for eight hours. Every once in a while, you'll see somebody
dive in in the background.
I think the summer version of a Yule log video
is just
a sunny day in a swimming pool.
I could see that, yeah.
And that's for people who are having a rainy summer?
Yeah, like if it's rainy and you wish you were outside
or maybe you broke your leg or you got sick
or you're laid up in the hospital,
but you want to feel the warmth,
much like people want to feel the warmth of a fire
through their TV,
you want to feel the warmth of the sun
and splashing around in the water with your friends.
So we'll make the summer Yule Log video. Boom. I you want to feel the warmth of the sun and splashing around in the water with your friends? So we'll make, like, the summer Yule Log video.
Boom.
I'm open to suggestions.
This is my suggestion to y'all.
I'm not saying we have to do it.
But that we should come up with, like,
the summer version of what we just did.
I feel like a pool float, too.
Like, you have so many better comedic options
for pulling stuff across the frame.
Like, it's so easy and natural to do.
I originally thought you meant, like, summer activities in a fireplace. Like it's so easy and natural to do. I originally thought you meant like
summer activities in a fireplace,
like trying to make a burger in a fireplace.
Eight hours of grilling hot dogs.
Yeah, exactly.
Like what would be the summer activity?
Like maybe throwing a super soaker onto the fire.
Like I don't know what that would be,
but I like the pool ideas,
like the alternate, the flip.
It could be for people on the other side of the world as eric mentioned australia absolutely like
on the opposite side some people christmas is the summer so this could be maybe like their yule log
video what they would want to see or i guess it would be for the people here and the summer i
don't know we'll figure it out yeah i just got a lot of the hard work was figuring out if it's
possible and then proving that it's possible and now that we've done that it's just like it's just repeating what we
already did in a new setting right and it seems like it seems like a waste for us not to use that
uh to our advantage yeah from like an export setting gavin would it be identical like
everything all the settings like once you do it once will you just know how to do it
you want to do okay again well i don't want
to go backwards it doesn't have to be eight hours uh because we're setting the standard here what
if we did 8k four hour pool video i mean i don't want to spend eight hours in a pool i'm a big
water guy that's a little long i four hours seems i would happily spend eight hours in a pool but
i'm i'm willing to concede to to bargain it down to four because we're not competing against other summer Yule log videos, right?
Like we had to do eight hours to set ourselves apart from the competition.
I don't think we have any competition yet.
Is 8K the highest resolution we can film in?
That's 12K cameras out.
Ooh, 12K.
Hey, Eric, I need the credit card.
Okay, sure, whatever.
Well, 12K, isn't 12K on the PS5 box?
Or is it 8K?
Well, how do you even deliver 12K?
Is there a video?
I don't know.
YouTube doesn't do 12, does it?
I didn't even know it was a thing.
I had to ask you.
I just learned about it.
Oh, right.
You're asking, you're the only one here that would know. Because based
on the situation I'm in now with all this data, I never
want to turn this camera on ever again.
That's fair.
You know, I think we need to give Gavin some time,
Jeff. And like a month from now, I think he'll
be back on board once this is in the rear view
a little bit. How about, you pay for,
Andrew has to pay for fireplace videos with marathons
and it's one for one.
Well, what about the fact that I paid for a fireplace video
by paying for my fireplace video?
Does that not count for anything?
I feel like I've already paid a fireplace video.
Yeah, we saw your fireplace video.
We did live commentary on it.
It's a fireplace video.
Yeah, sort of is the key word.
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What do you attribute your absolute inability
to start a fire to?
Several factors. One, time. I was going to start a fire to several factors.
One time I was going to prep a little bit more.
We changed the recording schedule.
I was going to set up a little bit differently to being scared at when I did it, that I would alert other people in the building as well as create a big fire.
That's why the Gerbler there.
It's undeniably the worst fireplace video ever made.
I had to have the fireplace upside down,
the chimneys on the side.
It's so cold out.
I'm in my underwear.
I'm shivering trying to light it.
Fire did not provide warmth.
Hang on.
Why are you in your underwear?
Because I had no time, Eric.
There was no time to put on shorts
because the cutoff.
The day you got moved the day earlier, so you had to take your pants off.
No, I already had the pants off.
The pants were already off.
If the pants were on, then I would have no time to take the pants off.
I was in my underwear while I made it.
I made everything in my underwear.
Then it was past the cutoff time in my building for making noise.
I didn't want to alert people.
What's the cutoff time in my building for making noise. I didn't want to alert people. What's the cutoff?
10 p.m.
There's no sound in that video.
I know.
You are deathly silent.
Yeah.
Because I planned on putting music into it,
I didn't expect to send it when I did.
I was still going to do some final touches to it.
There's no audio because it's trying to be quiet
because they didn't want to alert anybody.
So I was like, I'll throw music into this because i live there are people all around
me and my light being on and it's a whole thing the whole situation i didn't want to disturb
people i had no time for pants i'm wearing a short sleeve shirt and underwear and i'm shivering
in that video extensively it's terrifying spent more or less than 50% of our recording time in your underwear?
More or less?
Oh, wait.
Let me evaluate this.
More time in my underwear or less time?
Well, is that what you're saying?
Has most of F*** Face been... Oh, undeniably more.
Absolutely.
I like to be comfortable.
I mean, that works.
I mean, Jeff does his swim shorts, right?
Yeah. Well, not in a his swim shorts, right? Yeah.
Well, not in a long time.
He's moved on.
Not since the jock itch?
Yeah, pretty much since the jock itch,
I've stopped wearing swim trunks.
Oh, dude, by the way, I will say,
Emily got me these fucking,
this is not a product endorsement by any stretch,
but Emily got me these this
underwear for christmas called sax have you guys heard of it i don't know if it's like no i don't
know if it's proprietary to that brand or if like lots of underwear has it but it has like a little
it's like a boxer briefs like i wear but it has like a little pouch you stick your balls in
and then your balls no longer rub against the side of your leg
because they're protected in this little pouch.
And I'm going to throw away every pair of underwear I own
and replace it with sacks or some other.
I wouldn't think I would like it either, but it's amazing.
You know what my fear is?
What's that?
My fear is that putting your balls in that sack
is like becoming a fighter with bad head movement.
Like if something's going to hit my balls,
I feel like they're up on a pedestal
and there's no room for like bob and weave.
It's more like...
It's going to just increase the impact.
It just like, it just hugs them the tiniest bit
and creates separation from the rest of your body.
So you just have to like put them on
and then thumb your testicles through a hole?
Well, my balls are bigger than a thumb, but yeah.
I gotta use a whole hand to
slap them puppies in there.
You put them in a sack. Yeah, it's just like
two little... I'll show you.
I'll show you. Not today, but...
All I'm picturing is those castration
bands they put around the
balls of a ball. How do you know your
pox aren't going to fall off? They're not.
It's not uncomfortable at all.
I imagine it's like
a pocket for your balls. Yeah, it's more
like a pocket for your balls. I'm trying to find...
But I don't like that.
My balls aren't all over my legs.
They will be when you get older.
Oh, I don't wear briefs. I wear boxer briefs.
Huh.
I need room for my balls to move.
They need to bob and weave.
Gavin, do you not know
what kind of underwear you wear?
I think boxer briefs.
What's the difference
between briefs and boxer briefs?
Briefs are like tighty-whities.
Oh, I wear boxer briefs,
but I feel like...
This is what they do.
Sacks underwear.
And it's just like...
It's, you know, like I said,
I don't know who these people are
or anything. I'm certainly not shilling for them., I don't know who these people are or anything.
I'm certainly not shilling for them.
But, I don't know,
there may be a ton of brands
that do this.
This is just the one I know about.
But, goddammit, dude,
I've never worn a pair of underwear
that's comfortable in my life.
It just looked like normal boxers.
Yeah, I don't know if you can see
the pouch.
Here you go.
They have a ballpark pouch
or a ballpark pouch pro.
What's the pouch pro?
Professional testicle pouches?
I wish you could see
the pouch better in the
well anyway buy a pair sometime
or maybe I'll get them for you for a gift sometime like I did
with the socks back in the day oh that'd be nice
it's really like it's it's
one of those like life changing things
like when I discovered good socks
or when I discovered that I could blow dry myself dry
with the with the blow dryer
it's like it's going to inform how I move forward in my life.
I'm a skeptic.
But I could be one of the greatest.
I was too.
I was too.
I thought it was a gimmick.
I was like, oh, that's nice.
And then I put them on and it was just like
an instant game changer.
Patented ballpark pouch.
Patented.
They're fucking delightful.
Yeah, I'll try them.
Ballpark pouch. Oh oh here you go here you go here's you got diagram yeah i got diagram let me show you in my head it's it's just like a
pocket on the front of a shirt but balls i'm trying to get verification of this i still don't
like it not even that i don't think it works.
I just, as I said,
I want my balls to roam a little bit.
Once you get...
Well, I'll tell you what, dude.
I'm older.
I'm an older dude.
You probably have young,
like, firm, pert balls.
The older you get,
your gravity takes over, man.
Your balls just keep dangling lower
and lower and lower.
And it helps to
collect them. Let me see if I can find this thing.
Are you doing a yearly measurement of
the ascension of your ball? I should.
I should. There you go.
Oh, okay.
So you've...
Why are the balls red?
Soft mesh panels.
Anyway, just a little life pro tip for
you out there little life hack buy a different pair of underwear that's fucking great i was
bummed today i got two pair i woke up this morning i was excited to put them on and i saw they were
both 30 and i was like god damn it i'm wearing traditional underwear i'm fucking miserable
there are i feel like two types of people when it comes to beds.
Some people like their sheet to be tucked under the mattress.
So you're like entombed by the covers.
And some people like a leg out or just like complete freedom.
And I'm definitely a freedom sleeper.
Absolute freedom.
I hate a tucked sheet or duvet.
So I'm worried that will leak over into the way I like my testicles.
Oh, no.
A testicle change?
I will say I used to be a tucked in person and now, and Emily is not,
so I've grown to be a non-tucked in person.
I kick my legs out now too at night because I get a little too hot sometimes.
So I've straddled both sides and I don't notice any,
I mean, it just feels like a ball hug,
both sides and i don't i don't notice any i mean it it just feels like a ball hug like a really gentle gentle uh non-invasive in any way just to like they can imagine like a tiny little teddy
bear uh about the maybe the size of a penis that just comes up and just cradles and hugs your balls
it's just delightful it's like i'm in the middle of the ad read i had a funny discovery recently when
doing an ad read where i got sent copy and like most of the copy you get for doing ad reads it's
just like generic it's for any show could read it and i i looked at it was a company that i'd never
heard of and i read it and i was like oh shit they said regulation in the thing like this is this is
somewhat this is related to us it like open with like regulation listener I was like, oh shit, they said regulation in the thing. Like this is, this is somewhat, this is related to us.
It like opened with like regulation listener.
I was like, this is great.
And I went to share it with someone and I was like, look at this.
It's so cool.
Look, this ad it's written specifically for us.
And I went to reread it and I kind of stumbled and I realized it didn't say regulation.
It just said regular.
And my brain now automatically changes regular
into regulation because i use regulation so much more than regular face vernacular has taken over
it is like the autocorrect of my mind wait so it said regular listener it just said regular
listener or something like that it said just a normal regular thing i should pull up the ad read
fine what the warning was but i was so
excited and i was like listen look at this ad and i went to reread it and i felt so stupid that i
that i personally inserted the regulation i mean did you did you say regulation in the ad read in
the end because that no i didn't i did not i should have should i was like there's like six
different versions of it but it's just more like shocking
that and it made me happy that face vernacular has just entered into my primary way.
You know, speaking much like you're not allowed to say trash anymore and you're only allowed
to say rubbish for the rest of your life.
We should all just commit to never saying regular again, but just just replacing with
regulation.
Oh, God.
So, like, when it comes to size,
that becomes an issue, I think.
Like a regulation coffee?
You're really going to be the one
that complains about size
and specifics of size and accurate measurements?
You're going to be the one
that leads us into this subject?
Keep my
mouth shut, I guess. Going back and listening.
The ad was regular listeners
of this podcast. It was the opening
and I immediately
flipped it. Absolutely should be regular listeners of this podcast.
Yeah, you should have done that change. Oh my god.
I should have. Good lord.
I think I went with a different one, but anyway, it was just
funny to realize that thing.
How are you guys feeling about 2023 so far?
We are three days into the year.
2023 as a year?
Like, what do you mean?
In what context?
So far, pretty good.
It was a summer.
There's a...
God, no kidding, right?
I went for a bike ride today and I got too hot.
I was like, fuck, I wish I was...
It was minus 10 like a week ago and now it's 28.
That only makes sense to Celsius people, but that is a swing.
It was 15 degrees in Austin, and now it's 80 for you Fahrenheit people,
which would probably be most of us.
I guess I mean like, you know, at the end of the year,
you typically like get reflective
and then you get excited.
You kind of like close the chapter on like 2022 and then you get excited about 2023.
At least I do.
I would always like take the most of the month of December and kind of evaluate like, I'll
just use Achievement Hunter as an example.
Like what we did right and wrong in Achievement Hunter, directions I want to go in 2023, what kind of content did well, where we want to head, and just kind of get like a
creative reset and then get excited about building and starting fresh in the new year.
And I tried to do that with face this year, like I always do every year in my career.
And I think, I'll be honest, I think I took, I'm gonna put this in D&D terms.
I think I took so much psychic damage in 2022, my brain is just not ready yet.
I have been lethargic and kind of just like, I can't, like Emily bought a, Emily's got
like a yearly planner and a book and she's getting up at 6 a.m. and doing all the New
Year's resolution-y type stuff.
And I can't make myself get out of bed these days.
And I can't flip the switch into 2023.
And it's really bumming me.
I've got like...
Which is something that I'm lucky.
I'm very fortunate in that I never have creative block.
Very rarely do I have it.
Yeah.
I have it so fucking hard right now.
I can't focus on stuff.
I can't figure out...
I can't come up with bits. I don have any like any kind of like north star to work towards i'm just having a real hard
time switching gears into 2023 and then it's just been such an eventful we're three days into 2023
and it's been just like it's a bit tragic like oh yeah j Jeremy Renner getting run over by the snowplow,
which is horrific.
DeMar Hamlin having the cardiac arrest on the field yesterday.
Ken Block dying in a snowmobile accident,
which is wild because I am in the process
of trying to figure out how to switch from being a Texas guy
to maybe someday being a Michigan guy.
And one of the ways I'm going to do that
is trade jet skis for snowmobiles.
And now I'm like, I don't know.
And then I found out today in the fucking Howard Stern show,
and it happened a couple like a couple weeks ago, but I've discovered it in 2023.
This may not mean much to anybody except for Eric, but Fred the Elephant Boy died.
Who's like a long, long term Stern show, whack packer, just heartbreaking.
And it's just like, fuck, we're three days into the year.
Barbara Walters died five days ago.
Barbara Walters died?
Are you serious? Really?
You didn't know that? No, I didn't
know that. When did Barbara Walters
die? December 30th.
That's crazy. It was huge news.
The upside is that we didn't kill
any of these people.
Well, okay.
You say that, but it is an unfortunate We didn't kill any of these people. Well, okay. No, we didn't.
You say that, but it is an unfortunate timing that the episode that just came out today
has an extensive conversation about us talking about athletes dying during sporting events.
Even though we filmed that probably three weeks ago.
Yeah, like that's very unfortunate timing.
It's obviously not great, but it's creepy. timing is obviously not great but that's it's
creepy it is what it's a freaky thing that that timed out the way it did just like it's like i'm
a little scared for tomorrow you know that's fair i mean maybe call this the 34th of december just
keep keep it going i don't know that's actually i just wonder if anybody else is having trouble
kickstart kickstarting the new year because it is kicking my ass.
I just can't get out of 2022.
So I kind of kickstarted it in a way I didn't expect where I've gotten really into coins for like the last three or four days.
And that is sort of carried me into, I think, just having a new hobby to naturally look at, look in and like explore.
I inherited a coin collection and just like going through and cataloging coins it's just something
i had zero interest in it's like something i would never thought i would pursue i don't think i will
be on the collection that i currently have but just being given a thing that is like generational
coins and sorting through it has been a really fun process like canadian currency uh largely
canadian currency but also just like some random stuff. Like I have a, a German note that was made during wartime of the first war.
That isn't like official currency,
but they had to honor it because of like what was happening in the world at
that time.
Like a wartime promissory note kind of thing.
Yeah.
Essentially.
Yeah.
From like the first war,
which is crazy.
Like it's a rare thing.
And then I have a coin.
I have like two or three coins from 1898, which is just like fucking's a rare thing and then i have a coin i have like two or three coins from
1898 which is just like fucking crazy to think about just all the different amounts of history
that has happened from then to now is this your way of telling us that you've started a sock
collection what what i was thinking about the last time we had a story about coins took a took a right no
no i'm not jeff i was so confused i didn't even get that that's how nonsensical the jeff point
yeah you uh you were talking to me about the coin collection i was really excited about it and
excited for you and we're talking about the other day and i realized uh there's one question i forgot
to ask that i'm curious about how How many coins approximately is your collection?
Oh, a couple hundred.
So hundreds.
That's wild.
Yeah, I'd say like 300 coins, 400 maybe.
It's tough.
Like I've gone through most of it.
I still have some rolled coins to go through,
but it's mainly ranging, I'd say, from like 1960 to 2008.
So not exactly the most exciting, the more recent stuff.
But there are some old like 50 cent
pieces from like 1898 is the oldest one i found to like 1930 or 40 and those are just wild to go
through have you done any research into like coin care and how you're supposed to take care of them
stuff so that's the next step okay sure because there's some that definitely require it like the one that i found from 1898 was in a prescription pill bottle from like 1972
oh it just hasn't been moved since then so i need to were were there any pills in that bottle still
i wish i'd love to find a little extra collectible uh no there wasn't i i asked because i was
watching a tiktok video the other day about
coin collecting uh just ran i mean the other day was probably three months ago but i was surprised
to find out that the guy that was doing the video was saying you shouldn't clean them yeah i assume
because it can damage them and which seemed counterintuitive to me i think you'd want to
polish them up and get them in like as good a shape as possible but i guess that's not the thing
to do i feel like you see that in like antique roadshow things where like the person brings it on and it's
like i cleaned it and then the evaluator is just like what are you doing why did you do that you
fuck this completely um yeah i don't plan on doing that i just need to preserve them in a better way
than what they're currently in so i think that has helped me ease into 2023 i've just you're saying
jeff needs a new hobby?
I think a new hobby would be good.
I also would just like to know, Jeff,
when you think 2023 has officially begun,
whenever that is.
It could be a month from now.
It could be tomorrow.
Just when you feel like, you know what?
We're here.
Man, thanks, man.
I really want to.
I want to get in there.
I really, I want to have like that new year energy.
And I just don't i even tried
to like trick it into happening by going for a bike ride because typically on the rare occasions
that i kind of feel like this or i'm having trouble like working stuff out exercise always
fixes it so i went for a bike ride today my fucking amazing wonderful state-of-the-art Porsche of e-bikes,
the Trek-A-Lot 99S that I have,
tried to fucking kill me today.
And I don't know if it's the bike
or if a ghost
or if somebody in my family
is trying to assassinate me
or if it's one of y'all,
but my bike,
something happened to me on my bike ride
today that i almost died and i'm fine no bruises no nothing but um i was riding i was riding my
bike i was going you know i i tend to ride with no hands right uh because it works out your core
more and i was going i was going down a trail uh i was going about 24 miles an hour which is about
how fast i go on my bike typically it's about my average speed now you didn't just do that to uh
sort of stick it to me while i was struggling you do that all the time just like out in public
yeah i actually went home today to put on a hoodie so that i could put my hands in my pockets while
i rode because it was like. What are you doing?
You talked up
how these things are out.
It might be a ghost.
No, no, no.
I haven't gotten that yet.
It might be us doing something
and then launched into,
so I ride my bike with no hands.
What are you talking about?
You know that about me.
I ride my bike with my eyes closed sometimes.
We had a whole thing about that too.
Although I promised Emily I wouldn't do that anymore.
That was like a year
ago on the show.
Oh, yeah, you're right. You did bring that up.
Anyway, so I'm doing
my typical, what I do, about
18 miles into my bike ride,
and I'm riding with no hands,
and my front tires start shaking
violently, and so I like,
I can barely get my hands out of my pockets
in time to grab the wheel.
And I pull over real fast,
and I'm like, what the fuck?
I don't know what's going on with my bike.
And I get off of it, and I look,
and your front tire has a quick-release axle in it,
so you can change tires quickly.
And someone had,
or someone or something
had loosened the quick release,
like the quick release thing.
So it was just hanging on
and my front tire was about to fly off of my bike.
I don't know how it happened
because it's cranked down hard.
Somebody must have loosened it.
And I don't,
it was either somebody alive or somebody in the the afterlife but somebody loosened my quick release
axle on my front tire and it almost i all i was like i'm gonna guess four seconds from from having
my front tire fly off of my bike while i was going 24 miles an hour uh on a trail with your hands in
your pockets with my hands on my body yeah Yeah. That would have been all face.
Yeah, 100% face.
Jeff's take on this current year
makes a lot of sense now.
This is a bad year for you.
I don't want a bad year.
I had a shitty year before.
Every year since 2019
has been a dog turd year.
I need 2023 to be good.
Put your hands on the handlebars
for Christ's sake.
That had nothing to do.
If my hands were on the handlebars,
I still would have almost
lost my front tire.
I think.
It's not my hands in my pockets
that caused the fucking,
the quick release valve to pop out.
Jeff is a big pockets guy.
I do like pockets.
He's riding his bike.
He's got his balls in a pocket.
He's got his hands in a pocket.
You're obsessed with pockets.
Well, I made a wrist pocket.
Clearly, I'm obsessed with pockets.
What if Uniform made a hoodie that had two fake arms that went on the handlebars so your real arms could be in the pocket?
Now, that's not a bad idea.
Huh.
That's an interesting idea.
But what if you, what if it was safer, put the real arms on the thing, have fake arms in your pocket?
How am I going to keep my real arms on the thing have fake arms in your pocket how am i gonna well how am i gonna keep
my real arms warm because he's addicted to having his hands in his pocket just because he wants his
actual hands in his pocket yeah i understand that but that's a terrible thing to do so i'm saying
like a way to break the habit of hands in the pocket what What I need. You make fake hands for your pockets. What about fake balls for your boxes?
Well, that's...
We'll get to that eventually.
What I need...
On the hand of a...
What I need is to solve the mystery
of which one of you,
or my daughter,
or my fiance,
or one of my neighbors,
or some spirit,
or ghost,
or demon,
which one of you out there
is trying to kill me
by loosening shit up on my bike
so that it falls apart while I'm riding?
I think it just, yeah.
I think it just loosened up
and you would have noticed four miles earlier
if you were holding onto the handlebars
and went, this feels a little funny.
Let me get off the jack.
No, it wouldn't have started feeling funny
until that moment.
I'm telling you.
I think it probably would have loosened up as time went as you kept going.
And then all of a sudden a ghost.
He's trying.
I'm with Jeff.
Let's be rational about this.
Somebody did this to you.
Yeah.
Gavin has motive for sure.
Undeniable motive.
I don't know who else does.
I think I'm in the clear.
I'm in a good place with Millie right now, so I don't think it would be.
Yeah, I think Gavin is number one. Emily and I aren't the clear. I'm in a good place with Millie right now, so I don't think it would be. Yeah, I think Gavin is number one.
Emily and I aren't married yet.
Andrew immediately jumped on the hang on.
Let me side with Jeff.
Also, I'm absolved.
Yes, because that's why I jumped on
because I know I'm on the team.
It's not me.
No way.
It's me.
You know, you know what?
You're rational about this.
I've seen I've seen how far your tendrils reach.
I've seen you godfather, mastermind all kinds of events in Texas
from the comfort of Vancouver Island.
So I absolutely think you are capable of it.
However, I think you and I are in a very good place right now.
We're still riding the high of working together.
So I absolve you of any guilt,
but I definitely think you're capable of having orchestrated this.
I'm not saying I'm not capable.
I'm saying I'm not motivated.
There's zero motivation to you and I.
We're doing great.
We just did a team thing.
I'm not a suspect.
Gavin is the one I'd say suspect number one.
Why do you think I would have?
Because he didn't act against you.
I think suspect number two, Jack, once again,
put him back into the fold.
He was playing a bike game, a motorbike game.
Could be upset about that. I don't know. I was playing a bike game, a motorbike game. Could be upset about that.
I don't know.
I was there.
That'd be for you to evaluate.
I just,
and the thing is too,
it's like,
I haven't ridden my bike
in maybe three weeks or so.
I've been kind of off of it.
So what do you guys,
might've tried to kill me
like a month ago
and this is just a delayed effect.
I don't know,
but I want you to know
I've got my sleuthing cap on
and as I've been texting you guys
for a while,
face needs to solve a mystery.
I'm not saying this is the mystery.
This might just be a Jeff mystery to solve.
But so, by the way, if you're aware of a mystery out there in the world that needs to be solved,
please let face know.
I really, really want to solve a mystery in 2023.
But I'm going to get to the bottom of which one of you who in my life,
both alive or dead, is trying to murder me.
Definitely wasn't me.
Well, that's of course you would say that. Do you think if you put your balls in only the pocket?
But didn't put your legs through the boxes you could hold the boxes up
No, I don't think it works that way okay
I think you'd have to you don't really have access to the pocket until your legs are through it
Have you tried one ball in one ball out?
pocket until your legs are through it.
Have you tried one ball in, one ball out? Have you just tried different approaches
to this? No, but I can't imagine that would be
comfortable either. What I need to do
in my life is to
separate my right ball from my
right thigh as much as humanly possible, and
the pocket does that.
From the perspective of crotch rot
and just wanting things away from your
inner thigh, I support this.
I understand this better now.
As somebody who had jock itch for six months straight,
it's, let me tell you, it's a problem to solve.
Not pocket-based.
I got a blanket for Christmas.
I'm thinking of becoming a blanket guy.
Oh.
I'm thinking of shifting.
Is anyone here a big blanket guy?
I kind of want to get like nine blankets uh
i think having two having four cats has got me away from that they're always just caked in hair
that's fair yeah i guess having is sam does not she lives her own life uh sleeping on the couch
she does not want to be anywhere near a bed it's too tall for her at this point but i was just i
happen to have three blankets in bed plus the sheet i realized the
other night that i was under four different blankets but different parts of me were under
different blankets i think that could be that might be a lifestyle i want to get into so you're
you're split across multiple layers of blankets different limbs and yeah how far up the eight
pillows are you at this point the pillow mountain had fallen at this at this current
moment i was pretty low to the bed a lot of you know the bed slides from the wall then pillows
fall down the hole oh yeah i hadn't reached your reset yet so you probably hadn't reached my reset
yeah the mountain still hasn't been up and i honestly i might trade away some pillows for
more blankets if i could have like 10 different size blankets on the bed at all times and all corners of it,
I think that would be pretty great.
So is it like a central heating system?
Like to cool down, you move up the blankets until they're less on you?
Yeah, you can move.
You could put a foot out, you know, like you could have different arm, different blanket,
different layer of it.
Maybe one's under three blankets.
Maybe my right leg's under four blankets.
My left leg's under one.
Now, is it just the ability, the variability that you like, the control?
Or do you like the weight of more blankets on top of you?
It's not the weight.
Yeah, it's just the control.
And it's just like comfort everywhere.
No matter where I turn, being able to grab a blanket.
They also are great for pillows.
You can fold them up in a ball.
That can sometimes help rebuild Pillow Mountain
if it falls during the night.
So I'm considering being a big pillow or a blanket guy.
I'm already a pillow guy.
You should look into weighted blankets
to see how you feel about those.
Yeah, I'm worried about.
Emily got one for Christmas
and it eliminated her need for me.
Oh, fuck.
Maybe she is trying to kill me.
She got a weighted blanket
and then my dumb ass bought
her this pillow system that she wanted because her shoulder hurts and it's like complicated
and but it comes with a giant like wrap around snake pillow that you can kind of hug and like
wrap around your entire body and now she has this cocooning period when she gets into bed
where she wraps herself around this and then puts the weighted blanket on and it's like
she disappears and then
she's just gone and she has no need for me
at all anymore.
Yeah, Eric said I'm done. I think
fuck, it must be Emily's trying to kill
me.
That sounds fantastic.
What, Emily trying to kill me?
No, no, the pillow system. No, I can't even touch her
and I can't get to her.
There's like...
It's so complicated.
What I'm imagining can't be what it looks like.
I bet it is.
You remember that scene in It's Always Sunny
where Danny DeVito gets stuck in that part,
that spiral-circled part toy thing?
Yeah.
That's what I'm imagining is like a pillow
that you just wrap yourself around one of those.
Kind of, but bigger and softer.
That sounds great.
You got to send me this pillow system.
It's fucking ridiculous.
Seems like 2023 is the year of new systems.
Yeah.
New pockets, new systems.
Taking L's new systems.
And we're going to revolutionize the summer Yule log.
We got five months to come up with it.
Hey, Eric said we should start wrapping up and that's correct.
But I do want to ask one last thing.
I was thinking, you know, in my process, my year-end review that I was doing,
I was thinking about what I had the most fun doing with y'all.
And definitely up there,
definitely up there were the Tuxedo and MVP2.
And so I would like to get a new movie on the books if there's a new movie for us to even do.
I know we've talked about a bunch.
I don't want to force it if we haven't found the right movie yet, but I would like to start
thinking in those terms because I really, really enjoy doing those movies with you guys.
We talked about Monkey march as an option I also I think it'd be great to pick a movie because we get we did one
from Gavin's childhood one from mine I feel like to really round out almost like a trilogy of
watch-alongs something from your childhood could be good oh you got anything that's both you got a monkey movie from your childhood movie oh you know oh oh
i think we've gone into 2023 let me i think it's here let me let me all right i just i just two
movies jumped to mind two uh yeah two movies just jumped to mind uh so let me know what you think
uh there's a movie that
i remember from my childhood called super fuzz that sounds great about a cop who gets superpowers
let me see if i can find it super i thought that was gonna be a monkey movie
like i don't think i have any monkey movies unless you want okay here we go so there's
this fuzz could have been either yeah i thought it was an animal fuzz
not a police officer movies from my childhood that i remember loving that i barely remember
super fuzz would be like a horror movie now so it's my only and i think it's yeah artist
and i think it's kind of maybe like a tna movie a little bit uh or is that his book nine the guy
that the super fuzz guy no he's just like his buddy. His cop buddy.
Have you guys ever seen a movie called Condor Man?
No.
Oh, yeah.
There's another one from when I was a kid that I fucking...
Here, hold on a second.
The only thing I've seen Ernest Borgnine do is choke to death on a hot dog.
Here are two movies from my childhood that I remember fucking loving. Condor Man. I childhood. Condor Man. I remember fucking loving it.
Condor Man.
I'm into Condor Man.
Look at his head.
Condor Man seems great.
I saw Condor Man in the theaters.
It came out in 1981, so I was six years old.
And it had a Baskin Robbins tie-in.
There was a flavor called Condor Man Crunch.
And I remember that because they advertised it at the movie. And then right after the movie was over, I convinced my mom to take me to Baskin-Robbins tie-in, there was a flavor called Condorman Crunch, and I remember that because they advertised it at the movie, and then right after the movie was over, I convinced
my mom to take me to Baskin-Robbins so I could eat Condorman Crunch, which I think might have
just been Rocky Road, but it tasted...
Oh, fuck, he found it!
Holy shit!
It does exist!
Yeah!
Condorman Crunch!
Chocolate ice cream with crunchy praline pecan bits and a milk chocolate ribbon.
He looks like a human punk.
I think we got our movie.
Also, this is a Disney movie?
It is a Disney movie.
Yeah.
Disney's Condor Man?
Yeah.
It doesn't look like on the Condor Man crunch that it's going very well for him.
No.
Is it a guy with handlebars?
Yeah. no is it is it a guy with handlebars yeah i don't remember a ton about this movie just that i loved it when i was a kid notice how he's got both hands on the handlebars though all right well i'm gonna submit i'm gonna submit condor man
or super fuzz as potential new movies and then i'll think about a little bit more but those those
just immediately leapt to mind those are great choices
jeff thank you very much i'm excited how does he get the jacket on under the wings gavin all will
be revealed when we watch condor man okay don't try to dissect the condor man simply allow him to
be is that a bow is he hiding a bow with his wings oh it's on youtube it's on apple tv
it's oh yeah it's on amazon i think that's the one yeah it seems like a good pick all right i
mean i'll see when we can get condor man on the books here's what'll be fun too i remember here's
what i remember about condor man i remember that i remember suit. I remember him being kind of like a fuck-up.
And I remember Condor Man Crunch.
And that's it. I have no other memory.
I remember him being a fuck-up.
Oh, you don't say. No way.
I remember
more about the ice cream than I do the movie.
Where would you say... Would Condor Man Crunch...
Did you like it? Did you not like it?
Where did it rank amongst ice cream?
I was a kid eating the flavor of ice cream from the movie I just saw.
So I'm pretty sure at that point in time,
it was the greatest thing I'd ever put in my mouth.
Yeah.
I wonder if there's any Condor Man Crunch somewhere.
There has to be.
I was going to look that up as soon as we finished.
It's common for
people to find you know like 28 year old pepsi like crystal pepsi but this is ice cream it's
like you're gonna have to have it frozen for all that time so this is my idea this is my thought
based off what we said and jeff if this isn't what you're into because this would be very much
a you idea we have made pizzas before i think we need to attempt to recreate the flavor of condor made
crunch i think we have to make an ice cream that is copying and you can evaluate if this is what
you remember it tasting like i love this i love it love it love it i'm right there with eric here's
what i here's what i say we got to do too we have to make the ice cream like we have to get like an
old-timey ice cream maker
like my grandpa had, where you put rock salt
and milk and shit in, and then you turn the handle
for an hour and a half. Yeah, we're gonna do it
like fucking old-school style.
Like how they had to make ice cream in 1981
when this dipshit movie came out.
Oh my god, I love it!
I might be in 2023!
I think I might be in 2023!
You guys pulled me into 2023.
Fuck 2022.
Hello, 2023.
Thanks for listening to another episode.
The first episode of F*** Face recorded in 2023.
It's going to be an awesome year.
Condor Man out.
Hey, guys.
Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
The boys recap the falls draft.
We're silver medal friends.
Who would you sit next to on a plane?
When is the balaclava hitting the store?
Patton is decent in trials.
Jeff needs to remove some stumps.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** This.