Regulation Podcast - We Icy Hot Our Balls // nny keyboard is working again but i don't have an nn key [128]

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew's intro apology, time travel fixings, a vinyl, not salad creaming the icy hot, we watched the monkey movie MVP2, who is the funniest in this episode, penis toilet slamming, Andrew's keyboard revisited, Gavin being CO 2 poisoned via cats, our next Office Day, pizzas, Geoff's proposal, and bachelor crabbing. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by Raycon http://buyraycon.com/face + code EARLYBF, Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/face, and Honey http://joinhoney.com/face  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. This is episode 128, by the way. So if we can get recording all around, then I think we're good. And we can get off to the races. And that was the intro for episode 128. Thank you, Eric. That was awesome. What was the intro? Eric just did it. Eric just did the intro?

You didn't hear it? It was awesome. No. It was so smooth. This actually seems like a great time. I need to make an apology. I need to admit I was wrong. Oh, is this a retraction section? No, I don't think it's retraction. Oh, is this a, is this the, are we retract? Is this a retraction section? Is it a retract?

No, I don't think it's retract. Maybe it is technically. I'm sure I argued. Yeah, I think generally an apology. I think it was more of an apology to Eric and, oh, maybe you, I don't know. An apology. This is a lot of things, but someone, there's a post in the subreddit for this show about wanting to watch it on youtube from the beginning but they weren't sure what episode was the first one on youtube

because they're not numbered and they're like which one is this where do we start uh i was i was wrong about the intros we need intros intros are very useful your Your naming convention, Jeff, is incredibly useful because I tried to answer this person and it took me four attempts to figure out what episode. So you just have to listen and then you cross-referenced it with the podcast app? Is it even numbered on there, though? No, so I went to the Rooster Teeth site and I looked and the earliest episode we have on YouTube

doesn't have an intro until eight minutes into the show so it's not it wasn't at all you couldn't just listen to it and he's this is episode 120 whatever like that wasn't there uh it is a terrible it's a disaster we have an episode on the site that is titled episode one of season two and it it's it's listed as the 10th episode of season two like we're just our naming conventions are terrible the lack of an intro adds no clarity i was wrong i was wrong about that that was a mistake by me it's a disaster i take largely the blame for us having zero organizational abilities as far as what episode is what on this show do you know how uh we've determined that future Gavin is throwing sticks

at current Gavin or past Gavin? Yes. Do you think if you could time travel, that would be the one thing you'd go back and fix at the beginning of this podcast? Ooh. Yeah, I think it would. I think that'd be, of all the lessons,

I probably would never claim to eat a pencil. That's actually number one on the list. Then number two would probably be me fighting against doing an intro for 80 episodes of this show. That was dumb. That's a dumb hill to die on. And I did like 80 times. I died multiple times. I didn't realize because we've been like proofing, I guess, trying to cut down episode 16 we're trying to cut like what is it nick like six minutes from that episode so it will fit onto

a stupid piece of vinyl seven minutes that's deep in pencil land that is like right in there it's so frustrating to listen to that again we've got the most annoying episode 16. so should we talk about real fast what you're referencing there? Oh, and let me just say, I know Eric already did it, but just for posterity's sake, before we get eight minutes in, this is episode 128, season five, right? I believe we determined. Are you asking?

Yeah. This is your thing. I don't know. I'm sorry. I gave up in a flurry of anger at the beginning of the podcast like three months ago i gave up on the naming stuff so i'm trying to remember but i feel like it's we we said season five began like right around episode 125 or so i want to say uh anyway i'm jeff eric is was the indignant one there and then andrew and gavin

Eric was the indignant one there, and then Andrew and Gavin. So only four minutes into this episode is the intro. Yeah. Well, he started with an intro, and then explained that I fucked up the intro. Go ahead, Joe. So anyway, we've been long talking about, way back, probably not too far past episode 16,

we've been talking about wanting to make a vinyl of an episode of we thought that would be uh the i don't know fun i guess to release our own record and uh a little bit easier than uh a little bit easier than doing an eight track uh probably a little bit more useful um and it was like the oldest piece of technology we could record our voices on uh like it's i don't think gramophones or or that you remember that thing that they had And it was like the oldest piece of technology we could record our voices on. Like it's I don't think gramophones or that. You remember that thing that they had in like the 1800s where you would like have a sheet of paper with a bunch of fucking holes in it that wound up and then you'd stick it on like a piano and then the piano would play it. Like, I would be interesting if we could do a face version of that.

Just need everyone to have a player piano. Yeah, that. Just need everyone to have a player piano? Yeah, just need everybody at home to have a player piano. And then we'll sell the rolls. But we determined that a vinyl would be a fun way to release an episode, so we picked one of the episode 16s. I think maybe the first one. But the limit is... What is the limit on recordability on a two-sided vinyl?

I think it's like 58 minutes, something like that. And since our episode was slightly longer, there's two ways you could do it, right? We could cut the episode down, or we could reduce the audio quality to something less than stellar to fit more on and we decided that it would be better to cut out the fluff uh and just have a solid ass 20 25 minutes per side nick says so we need to cut it down from like 59 minutes down to 50 to make a solid ass episode so i'll just speed it up by like 11 so my my idea was we would do like the opposite of like george lucas right we would have like like our special edition would be we cut the nine shitty minutes out so you don't have to listen to them but when all 59 minutes are shitty it's hard to find the the five or six minutes you got to cut

i was listening to i i've only got halfway through i was listening to it yesterday because we're trying to decide what to cut and uh i couldn't i couldn't find a single bit that i would cut so i was like we have to just cut whole chunks i don't know it's weird to like remove the occasional pause or word and like like james cameron titanic this thing to be shorter i don't think we're gonna be able to do it we have to just take a lump and kick it out of there i like your idea though of accelerating a little bit like sitcoms they do that right to like get an extra ad break like they slightly speed up the play i think that could work well maybe we could use ai to like remove silence oh what if we wrote down every bit or like topic that's on the show

and do like a draw and whatever it lands on it's just dead no matter what it is we have no say in the matter write down how long each segment is. Or we fluke face it ourselves. We re-perform it slightly faster. Ooh. That would be terrible. There's no way that would come out shorter, right? That would definitely be longer.

No, it would be so much longer. I can't stay on track to save my life. I lost track of this podcast earlier. That's why I would continue. I forgot what we were fucking talking about i'd forgot about the vinyl by the time i was done saying whatever the fuck i said uh there's no way i could stay on point that long um yeah i do say though i do think though like better than cutting nine minutes out if we could condense or like keep all like by speeding it up or whatever our jokes per minute goes up by a percentage pretty significantly like probably like 10%

there why don't we cut every sentence that isn't a joke it'd be four minutes long I don't think that works is that something we're concerned with jokes per minute oh man if we had

to if we fluke faced it ourselves i think it would be a whole new level of self-hatred of just hating thinking everything you said isn't funny it'd be terrible i'd hate to read anything that i've said on this podcast and attempt to redeliver it again thinking at that time i was being funny i'm terrible laughs hey i was uh i was talking to eric this morning uh we were doing another production funny. I'm terrible. Laughs. Hey, I was talking to Eric this morning. We were doing another production and I listened to the most

recent episode of F*** Face That's Out, which I guess is maybe 126. It's the one where we promo that we're going to all put Icy Hot on our balls. And then only Andrew did it. And then only Andrew did it. And I didn't think much of it at the time and when we were recording the episode where andrew because because i think we all agree

it was andrew's funniest episode uh and he it was so strong but going back and listening to that other episode we really leaned in hard to the fact that we were all gonna do it together at the beginning of an episode and i'm i don't want salad cream it. So I do think we should probably all put Icy Hot on our balls this episode to stay fair to the audience. Do I have to do this again? Do I have to do a second wave of this? Yeah, no, I think you definitely should because it's a group effort, isn't it?

Last week was kind of one-sided, and that was unfortunate. Yeah, and also that wasn't our fault. That was your fault, so you should definitely be a part of this. I have Tiger Balm Ultra Strength, or I have Icy Hot Original. Well, I got the Icy Hot Original because that's what everybody said. Well, actually, mine's Advanced. Yeah, I could only find Ultra Strength for both products. How long is this going to last?

Jeff was spot on. He was like 45 minutes. Wow, really? Yeah, it was after we recorded, the next hour was spent in my bathtub hating the world. And they'd say, calm down. Maybe like 45 minutes. If you want to know how long Icy Hot lasts on your balls, ask the guy

who's done it before a couple times. I will say, I had a great I don't know how this works I don't know what this show is Jeff's already applied it sounds like okay that's a lot you know how we after the show Gavin comes back we typically talk for a few minutes when we're done

recording I did that on the tire lump thing yeah post pleasantries having pleasantries just having trying to have a normal conversation with somebody while your balls have tiger bomb on them felt ridiculous i feel like there could almost be a show there where it's like a group of people talking one of them has tiger bomb on their balls and you have to figure out who it is i think i think that's a great idea it's kind of like we used to do bits... Oh, boy.

We used to do bits back in the day where you'd have like... We would do like variety shows for like... I don't know, for live stream stuff. We would have like five drinks and one would be a shot of... Or like five would be shots of vodka and one would be a shot of like vinegar.

And you try to like... Try to mask who got the vinegar i love doing those kinds of i love doing those kinds of things um have eric have you put yours on no i don't have any icy hot and i did not know we were doing this today i mean eric and i did talk about this morning and he agreed i did not agree to do it today i definitely agreed that we should do it as a team and you agreed that you would do it with us and then last week we were going to do it so just get the get the icy hot that you prepared last week no no no you have to understand i don't have any i have none so i can't do this because i was not prepared

to do this today because when i talked to jeff the way he made it sound was we should pick one episode where we're all going to do it so what i think we should do is wait to do it together as a team. No. So that way we all have the funniest episode. Right, Gavin? Because it doesn't make sense if only some of us are doing it. All of us should do it together, don't you think? I have a mound of it in my hand.

Put it on your head. But what I'm saying is that you have a choice right now you don't have to do this and then we have to do it together i can't not do it two weeks in a row we all have to do it as a group don't we so down the shops there's no hop down the shops for me that's not how this works down the damn shops eric go get the stuff i mean do you have it is it in your hand it's on my hands. Okay, but what I'm saying is that you could rinse it off your hands real quick and then we just, you know, we pick an episode

and we like really go for it. Gavin. I'm moving it towards my balls, Eric. Well, you don't have to do that. How much should we put in? Think about how funny you're going to be. Is it like toothpaste? How much goes... I put more than toothpaste on me.

Alright, hold on. Okay, I made a mistake. It's so bad. All right, you guys roll around in it. I'll go see if I have any, but I surely don't. I put... I covered my balls. If it's considered my balls, it's got Icy Hot on it.

I feel like I'm gonna puke Now the worst part is I put Icy hot on my ears before we did this to prove Prove that it wasn't the ears. I got my ears too. Oh Gav how you doing? Oh shit! Damn, that's instant! That's like 20 seconds of my nuts are in the fire! Ah! Ah! I'm so glad I didn't do- I'm so glad I didn't do the tiger bomb. Okay, I'm still going uphill. When does this level off?

No, duh, oh god. When does it- Ah! It hasn't leveled off yet for me. Ugh! Oh my god. Ah, shit, dude! Ah!

That's insane my nuts dude so uh how's everybody doing is it just me I uh I feel like I dipped my balls in a wet fire okay well here's the thing i just looked i kind of dug around our medicine cabinet some other places i looked i don't have any so what we're gonna have to do is just do this again another time um so you know yeah so you guys will have

to probably i mean you guys just for you guys will have to probably, I mean, you guys just for, you guys will have to do it again, um, a different time. Yeah. Nick said same. So, you know, we want to make sure it's the whole group thing. It's pretty quiet for a podcast. Is that normal? Yeah.

I'm still here. I'm still trying to do a podcast. I'm trying to channel this into the funniest podcast ever. I don't know where my co-hosts went. Umic how are you what's going on in your let's talk about stuff what do you got going on i just uh nick said he has some vicks vapor rub but that's for his sick wife and he doesn't think that he could rub that on his dick and balls and then give it back to her he's right he should not yeah don't do that no don't do that i do think that you know unfortunately just

we're gonna have to do you guys are gonna have to do this one more time so that way we all do it um but that's okay you know we can we'll do like a regular episode this time and then it'll be fine so um i'm good how's how's things you know going with you excited for an office day i'll be honest with you eric yeah i feel a little nauseous oh yeah yeah um i'm excited about an office day. I'll be honest with you, Eric. I feel a little nauseous. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited about an office day, too. We should probably talk about that.

A couple things have happened since we last recorded. Oh, my God. That was like a puke burp. Oh, Jesus Christ. Fuck. It's like a million tiny needles on my dick all at once around my balls. Dude, it's like if million tiny needles on my dick all at once. Dude, it's like if you took 60 cooking knives all with like sharp tip up and I'm just swinging

my balls across the top of all the knives. That is like, that is like five times worse than I expected it to be. Oh my god. Yeah. I'll just say this. Oh my god. I'm glad we didn't do the tiger bomb. This Icy Hot sucks, but it is not Tiger Bomb bad

this is I'm not doing Tiger Bomb it's like the difference between a Jalapeno and a Habanero or a Habanero and a Serrano they're both hot as dicks but one's a little bit worse fucking assholes so yeah we watched

the monkey movie that was pretty that's good stuff yeah good call uh well that's what I wanted to get back to last week we uh we we said we were after we recorded we decided we were gonna watch the monkey movie I don't remember if we said in episode or not but we definitely did

decide we were gonna do it and we did um and uh it actually it was interesting it elicited an apology to me from Andrew for something I didn't even know I was upset about. I thought it was awesome. I thought the movie was amazing. I thought Andrew's presentation,

his 10-minute intro, was amazing. I think it, I was talking about with Eric today, this morning, I think it opened up a whole new, it could be a whole new product for us. If we combine, if we combine our monkey movie kind of thing that we do in the tuxedo of the movie

with Dew Box, I feel like we have and a solid intro. I feel like we have a whole package we can start delivering to people that I think that they would really resonate with. Are we talking monkey movie? Yeah, I was just saying we watched,

we actually 100% watched the monkey movie. It took us from March till, I guess late October, but we did it. Oh, fuck. It was a great movie. I had an idea about that that I wanted to talk about by you.

I'm in the ice phase, by the way. Yeah, and that's the ice. Isaiah, move it back. The icy hot was so much worse. Or maybe I just wasn't prepared in the same way. That was terrible. This is terrible. Still terrible. It's still awful. I don't know how you're hanging in, Jeff, the way

you are. I had to physically... I pissed petrol. I've done it a couple times in the past for similarly stupid reasons and so I, you know. I genuinely thought I was gonna puke. Plus, Andrew, I could have one of my arms

hanging, like, sliced 90% off and just hanging on but for 45 minutes I'd be able to I could focus and work on a focus on the podcast because I'm a professional i got genuinely worried there of how much the how much it kept building yeah it went maybe two or three times beyond my tolerance for pain yeah it was high it was bad it's definitely like at the

at the tolerance line yeah it's like I don't feel any funnier. I told you guys one time I got jalapeno juice all over my dick and I had to put my dick in milk. Like that was worse, but not that much worse. This isn't funny. No, it's not. This is the episode with the most belabored pauses. Go to the shop, Eric.

Go to the damn shop. I already looked around. We're going to have to do this again because I didn't have any of the stuff. I'll just be the least funny person in the room. I'm good. I've done it twice. Oh, shit. It's terrible.

It's heating up again. The ice is melting. Really? I got the cool breeze right now. If I put a thermal camera on my nuts, do you think it would show my temperature? Absolutely. If there was predator vision on you right now, it would think

that there's like 12 people in your balls with the amount of heat that's radiating. My nuts wouldn't make it through the airport through those fever detectors. Here's what I'm going to recommend for you, Gav. Sit forward. Don't lean back too much

right now because what can happen? Oh, it can drip down? In personal experience? Yeah, as your balls will start to sweat from the heat and the pain and then they'll carry it

right up, right down your gooch, right into your butthole and you don't want a flaming butthole and flaming balls. So just like, try to protect that area because

it gets, it's like a whole other level of hell when you're assholes i mean that's why i created the too spicy ic right like you don't you don't want to go uh you don't want to double dip there so on the subject of mvp2 i had an idea i was thinking about so we watched we watched the tuxedo right and then we got the tuxedo from the tuxedo i think we should try to get a prop from mvp2 somehow and maybe try to get a prop from every movie we watch as part i think you're a goddamn genius you have been perfect for the museum you have been firing on all creative cylinders lately

and i just gotta say i appreciate it that's a fantastic fucking idea andrew and i've been looking into it it's really tough to find any prop available for sale for MVP 2. So I'm trying to figure out a way to reach out to the production company in some way and see if I could get something through that. Yeah. Just a thought I had. Also, consideration for every movie we pick going forward. So we got Tuxedo.

So we only need to make sure we watch movies that we can get props from none of us are able to communicate a thought right now yeah it's that i'm luckily in the kumlig phase i feel like i could communicate again but yeah that would be the goal i mean obviously we want to pick what we want to watch that overrules it but uh if we could find a prop from it that'd be amazing i think it leans in heavily with the uh the whole museum idea what what do you think the shortest episode we've done is and is it is 27 minutes too short way too short yeah damn it incredibly short but you're a professional as you just said you like to focus and hang into things and that you'd be fine I tell you what, it'd fit real nice on vinyl there

No, it's too short for vinyl because there's a B-side. Well, that's it Yeah, we just have to do this is an A-side and then we just have to figure out what the B-side is I guess It's ironic that we wouldn't have a B-side due to a balls issue. That'd be perfect. That's set up great It's ironic that we wouldn't have a B-side due to a balls issue. That'd be perfect. That'd set up great. I'm gonna fall asleep.

I feel legitimately pukey. Yeah. No, that's how I felt. I had to step away for a moment. If you need to step away, Jeff, nothing wrong in that. I had to step away and gather myself. Now we're back. I mean, I will say that I do think there's... It's the podcast.

You probably shouldn't be stepping away in general. No. No, but you should also have fucking Icy Hot your balls. Not everything's perfect. It's fine. You just have to do it one more time. If I puke, I'll just do it right off. Yeah, it's fine. Hey, gather yourself. It's not like I didn't clean up years worth of dog

piss and shit. On a scale of 1 to 10, on a scale of 1 to ten, how funny do you feel right now, Gavin? Oh. Perfect. One point five. It's really interesting because

Andrew was definitely like an eleven out of ten last week when he put the icy hot on, but I don't feel like it's transferred to me. Definitely not me. I don't think I've said anything funny and i don't plan on it do you know how i faced myself with it last week you know what i did i made a huge mistake i did it so late in the show and you even commented on it why would you do it so late there's no payoff i was under the belief that we

were going to record two episodes and so it was going to start there and go into the next. And then as soon as we were done, Jeff was like, oh, nobody told me that we're going to do two today. I can't. I'm busy. So we only did one. I wasted it. I never thought I'd be doing this again.

But here we are. And here we're going to be doing it again a third time when Eric and Nick decide to help to participate. I'm just going to be the least funny guy in the room. I mean, I got to be honest with you. We were ready to do it last episode. We'd all agreed on it. You did it.

We didn't. So I just assumed, like, for instance, I'll explain how it went in my house. I got the Icy Hot. I put it on my desk in preparation of doing it last week. We didn't do it.

I left the Icy Hot on the desk. It never moved. So when I sat down to record today it was there and ready to go so I don't understand how Nick and Eric aren't prepared no I don't want to hear a bunch of half-assed excuses either so I guess we'll just move on I mean they're whole they're whole assed excuses they're not half no they're not full if you if you listen if you listen to me Jesus Christ guys if you listen yeah I look like I feel like I'm looking at a cryptid. Gavin, can we post that photo?

I don't know. I don't think so. Can we? I mean, we probably shouldn't. I've pulled my mic all the way down to the ground, and I'm just on all fours, just letting the air get to it. I have got to say. Oh, the air might not help.

The air's a problem. I have got to say. I'm definitely failing on the funny side, but the photo that Gavin just posted that's been double edited to hide his junk while he's on all fours staring into the screen is maybe the funniest thing

he's ever done. Gavin, you're at 11 and a half right now. He blacked out his junk with red marker and then he decided to double up with black but you can see

the red poking through still and it looks like he's just wearing a t-shirt struggling in his face looking at the camera with his ass hanging out the other end looking like he's just wearing a t-shirt, struggling in his face, looking at the camera with his ass hanging out the other end, looking like he's presenting. It is awesome. I'm sure the neighbors will get a good view. Honestly, I felt like I could see through the red.

The worst part for me is I applied to my ears prior to, so they're sequencing off. for me is I applied to my ears prior to you so they're sequencing off my ears are incredibly hot right now while my balls are cold and then my balls are gonna get hot and my ears are gonna get it's out of sync I gotta say Gav

if we could put that image on a shirt I bet we'd sell it if we could just sell just sell them for an hour as many as we sell. I gotta think we'd move a lot of products. I think if you were to Photoshop Gavin's face out of that photo, people wouldn't recognize that as Gavin.

He looks like a different human being through this paint. I didn't realize I was making that face. That's just your face. It's the perfect, it's an honest expression of what's happening the current moment there was a a bit they were gonna do on howard stern uh 20 years ago now 15 years ago where this guy scott the engineer was gonna take anal from a porn star in madison square garden um for 250 000 and howard was was going to sell tickets to it. And they were just going to be, it was just going to be a little curtained off room

and all that you could see was Scott's head sticking out as he was receiving the anal. And I think it fell through because, well, I think Scott's family told him he couldn't do it. His wife and kid were like, absolutely not. Fuck man, $250,000, that's a lot of money. And to find out that you... To have 15 great or terrible minutes,

who knows until you try it, right? The face you're making is what I assume Scott's face would look like sticking out of that curtain. I gotta say, I've never... I've never seen you make a face like that. Yeah, you've lived with me for many years. Have I ever looked like that

never I feel like we could post this if we censor it even more even though you've censored all the necessary areas it still it feels like a lot I feel like if we add more this feels like really explicit it feels like a Pornhub thumbnail it does

what if we crop it from you know kind of like the chest up so you can at least see the look on his face. Yeah, I think that's the face. Yeah, just know that like the rest of what you're not seeing in the photo is, I mean, it's all, it's, there's a lot going on.

I feel like the face is the most explicit part. No, it's not. It's the limbs to me. There's something explicit about. It's your little knees me. There's something out of the Sun hitting your thigh hair to me. It's the it's your posture like yeah, you have like a hunch you have a Yeah, well between me speaking my head is just hanging down towards the ground I'm gonna get up to talk in the mic. I think the thing that I'm that is the most Insane to me about it is that your asshole is

facing away from the camera, right? And it is facing out and away from the camera from your position. And your blinds are up. They're like halfway up. I don't think anyone can see me up here, but I don't know. There's a lot of wasps and birds right now that are doing way more than they bargained for.

I just hope maybe the Google Earth picture doesn't get taken right by now. Well, I have some minor good news for you, Gavin. Yeah. I realized I fucked up accidentally over the weekend. I realized I'm a big, dumb idiot who's incompetent at cashing in on bets. idiot who's incompetent at cashing in on bets do you remember that that you and i we did a little halo 2 speed run bet thing in the past and i won that bet do you remember what my prize was for winning that bet this is where i feel like face falls apart is that we have these elaborate bets and then we always forget what we're supposed to do afterwards yeah i would forget on and off and

it would come back to me like oh yeah, I have this my prize my victory Because put the Brazos logo So the victory what I got for winning Gavin is I got to pick a piece of gum for you to chew. Oh, that's right. By choosing. That was my big prize. Yeah. I idiotically, accidentally redeemed the bet while trying to do Dubox.

I had this. I felt so stupid. I've been on my desk. I'm staring around. As soon as you said that, I was like, oh, yeah. I tried to get it. And there's no way around it. I told you what brand.

I told you what type. You even asked how many pieces. And I told you how many. I absolutely accidentally redeemed that bet in the least impactful way I could have. In some total ways. You just gave me regular gum. I just gave you a normal gum. That's phenomenal.

Yeah. I completely, I was sitting at my desk cooking hash browns and I connected everything together. I was stunned. I was stunned

and disappointed with myself. What did you cook hash browns on on your desk? I have a little skillet. You mean potato pies? I have like the shredded hash browns.

I got the waffle maker that I gave you all and I have the, I bought myself a little skillet version oh is that the thing you cooked part of a piece of bacon on yeah that's what i was cooking the little strips of little cuts of bacon on so i tried some hash browns i gotta say i did not heed the advice i gave gavin and my gooch is on fire and it is not fun I'm not on all fours. It's a hardwood floor in here. I had old knees. Oh my God is my asshole.

Not my asshole. My gooch is unhappy. I think mine's wearing off. I think I'm on the tail end of mine. Yeah, I feel better. I'm physically sweating. That's unfortunate for you. I'm amazed you stuck in, as you said.

Very professional, Jeff. You did a good job. I genuinely felt like I was going to die, so I had to step away. These old balls have taken a beating a few times. This ain't my first ball rodeo. Where does this rank on worst things done to your testicles? Oh. It's not...

I'm like 7 out of 10. i've done way worse i mean you slammed your penis in the toilet i twice was that one and two those are up there i mean that's stars when i did that i almost blacked out um i have another update from past this is a real update show for me. Yeah. The other day, I still had my... Remember when I poured water on my keyboard and all the keys were fusing to different ones?

And so I swapped out keyboards, and I was putting something down on my desk, and I put it on the old keyboard that I spilled everything on, and to my shock, it was still connected to my computer. I assumed that because I plugged a USB one in that it would desync, but it was still connected to my computer. I assumed that because I plugged a USB one in, that it would desync. But it's still connected.

It still works. I was like, oh, I'll give this a try again. All of my keys, I'm gonna post, I don't know how I'll do, I'll just say. All my keys work. It's better than it was. Everything is fine. I've been going through.

The problem is though, one of my keys did die. All the keys came back but one. I've been going through the problem is though one of my keys did die all the keys came back But one I unfortunately lost my M key Does not work, but to solve this problem? I've been doing this whenever I need to put an M. Is that why you've been doing that that is and to this point Nobody has called me on it. I've been doing it for a little over a week I've just been using two ends for my M because I don't have an M why don't you just copy the M and paste it because when I copy and paste it typically deletes whatever I'm trying to put it into and sometimes you have multiple you

have multiple sentences and it could be a real problem it looks ridiculous did this happen before you had to make the presentation for the unkey UV? I was using the USB keyboard for that. Oh, okay. Yeah, so that was fine. That was unimpacted, but like when I wrote my notes, this is what I wrote my notes. My keyboard is working again, but I don't have an N key, so instead I use two N's to make my NNN. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha can that be the episode title yeah please my keyboard is working again but i don't have an m key so instead i use two n's to you got it oh my balls you okay jeff yeah? Yeah, I mean, I'm... Yeah, I mean, it's better.

It's not as bad as it was 10 minutes ago or anything, but it's... It's good. You're bouncing back. I don't think I'm going to throw up anymore. It's good. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express

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Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. I've realized that I've been really stupid all week. Yeah? Because you came up with this idea and made us do it? Yeah, well, that was a few weeks ago. I've apparently been stupid for a long time. Just this week and not the preceding every other week?

But extra stupid this week. And I figured out why. So it's finally got a little bit colder here to the point where my heating is kicked on for the first time. But in my office, I have two computers. I have servers. It's hot as balls in here all the time. I don't need a heater.

So I just shut my vent to the AC. And Meg's been out of town so when she's gone the cats aren't split up they all just huddle around whoever's home so I've been sat in my office editing with all four cats and I was just editing the other day and I was just like man I feel a bit

foggy just got the old brain fog in feel really dumb or like making shitty editing decisions I'm like what am i thinking what am i doing and i'd like to walk around like pick stuff up and forget where i was going i'm like what is going what's going on and i just couldn't figure out and i realized oh i've probably got like high amounts of carbon dioxide in this room so i bought i bought a co2 detector i turned it on it was like 2100 parts per million and i think that's like dangerous

levels you're gonna oh my god i think normal outside is like what used to be like 200 but because of people it's now like 300 outside and i've been like pushing 2000 i was like man i feel shitty and i get a headache whenever i'm editing what going on? And it's just me and the cats have been filling this room with carbon dioxide. Yeah, how are the cats still alive? They love hanging out. Yeah, occasionally they would leave to go and get air, I think. And I'm just sitting here like a fog brain dipshit trying to edit videos. It's currently down to 1140 which is still high

but I have a window open okay on my crevice what do you do get one plant you think a plant is gonna make a dent in that it's better than a bunch of

cats exhaling on you until you fucking pass out. I appreciate you clarifying the temperature, Gavin, because you opened that with hot as balls, which in this current context, I feel like you need to elaborate on what that means. Do you know how when people are so far gone with alcoholism,

sometimes they'll have people pour alcohol directly into their butthole uh no no i said yes to that before you finish the yeah like it's no like it happens uh and uh it's kind of a thing and also if you haven't like like liver and kidney issues i think it's like a way to bypass some stuff uh and it also like gets into your bloodstream way quicker um i wonder if gavin is consuming or uh receiving more co2 through his butthole than his mouth right now how much like if you're getting like a double dose how much co2 is dangerous oh 40 000 so you're fine uh poisoning yeah I think I'm a long way off being killed by it, but I was definitely in the stupidity.

You're legally safe, but you're down to my Alabama public education. Oh, yeah. It says you start worrying above a thousand. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. Cognitive scores are lower when exposed

to 1400 oh shit yeah yeah because I was just like oh boy I hope it's permanent forever dumb yeah I got my window open now I'd be interested in the plant experiment

I wonder how much that would help I'd be interested in the plant experiment. I wonder how much that would help. I mean, get two or three. It can't hurt. And if they die in a week, that'll be your canary in the coal mine. You're like, I can't stay in this room anymore. I'm killing plants.

Prolonged exposure to levels between 2,000 and 3,000 is linked to stress, kidney calcification, and bone demineralization. None of that sounds good. No. You're going to liquefy your bones. I'm just going to be like a puddle of paste. You're going to turn into Plastic Man. How long has this been an issue? Because your ankles have been at an all-time low recently.

There have been some body issues with you. You have not taken blows. I would say this has been since Monday, so maybe two days. And then I bought the CO2 thing arrived today. So, yeah, I'm already on the mend. Still be careful. You might have demineralized ankles right now

on top of your already- Oh, God. Everyone doing okay? Yeah, I'm back to like i can focus on shit again i feel like the first 30 minutes of the podcast i was uh uh unable to focus oh eric brings up we have an office day tomorrow that is true uh we're so fucking productive right now since we handedly knocked out the the monkey movie. And by the way, I don't want to spoil it

for people who haven't watched it yet. I highly recommend you watch it. Watch along with us. I even more so recommend you watch Andrew's presentation. But let me just say, if you're a fan of monkey, of banana wipes,

holy shit. That's all I'll say. But anyway, we've been so fucking productive that tomorrow we're making pizzas Monday of this week I was sending you guys photos I cleaned all the spiders out of the pizza oven

like I ran them out of town and spruced that motherfucker up and we are ready to go I'm so jazzed I'm excited I can't wait to see how it turns out have you ever cooked a pizza in your pizza oven before, Jeff? I've never cooked anything in my pizza oven.

You've been scared of the spiders. My pizza oven is where spiders and antifreeze live. That's pretty much it. And like 30-second cleaner. It was just like storage for charcoal. So it's all burned out? Yeah, it's all burned out and cleaned out. I'm going to go buy some fresh wood like non-spider wood that hasn't been in my backyard since i moved in uh there's been a wood

pile in my backyard i've lived here for over three years now i've barely made a dent uh it was so big but i'll go buy fresh clean like hickory or something uh so that we're not cooking uh you know snakes and it's the plan we're gonna make individual pizzas or we're not cooking snakes and spiders. And is the plan, we're going to make individual pizzas, or we're just going to make one pizza? I think we should make individual pizzas. Okay, I can get enough pizza stuff for everyone. I do know what Gavin wants to make. Do we want to talk about what exactly we're making

or why we're making pizzas? Yeah, I think we could talk about it. Yeah, I don't know why we wouldn't. That's the cue for you to talk about it. That's where you, the host, pick up the ball and run with it. No, I hear you, but it's a three-hosted show, and Gavin is the one who wanted to make the pizzas in the first fucking place, so I thought he would be the one to pick up the ball.

I do agree. But picking up a ball might be a little difficult for somebody who's breathing in 23,000 parts of carbon monoxide a second or whatever. Yeah, I'd argue his brain is all ball right now. And to be honest, the heavy breathing while the Icy Hot was on my nuts has really boosted the levels of the...

So I thought we could start with the Branston Pickle pizza, which had... It didn't really say what was on top. I think it was just cheese, but in the crust was cheese and Branston Pickle. So I've requested those. So we're going to make a slightly more complex you know cheesy branston crust and i feel like because you often get cheese and branston pickle as a part of a plowman's lunch i would just complete the plowmans and have that as the toppings okay what is a plowman's lunch

it's like a little board i think somebody has somebody has it a little bit salad or sometimes ham. A boiled egg or something. I sent it to Wikipedia to Andrew and he was having none of it. No, eggs on a pizza just threw me off. I'd never heard of that before. It felt weird. I think to keep it classic to the Plowman's, it has to be a boiled egg. I've only ever had a fried egg on a pizza, which is pretty good.

But I'm not sure about sliced boiled egg on pizza. We can boil up an egg tomorrow. I don't have any eggs. Eric will have to buy eggs, but it's on. It's on my list. Now, here's the thing. Here's sort of my I'm trying to find the Branson pickle pizza recipe from wherever, whatever place was making the Branson pickle pizza.

However, dominant. I did find the Branson, the Branson website, which has the cheese pickle and ham pizza. And I don't know if that's necessarily it, but they do have the recipe on the Branston site. So I am doing some research. I'm doing some digging. It is more difficult. You've seen my list of ingredients there, right? I did.

Yes, I did. Yes. How much luck have you had with? Oh, it'll be fine. I'm grabbing everything tomorrow and we'll be good to go. I'm not going to salad cream it. I am getting the things that you need you'll get everything i wrote well i'm gonna do my best to get everything you wrote i don't know like look you started going into like egg territory so really who fucking knows but we're gonna try

i also asked for pickled onions and chutney do you think you can get that uh i can definitely try while you're out there doing that could why don't you pick up some Icy Hot, just in case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll definitely make sure. Yeah, I'll definitely make sure to do that. Oh, that's perfect, because then while the pizza's cooking,

Eric's nuts can be cooking in the background. And simultaneous cook. Right. But then we're all doing it at the same time, which is the important part of the whole thing. Jeff, have you ever seen a plowman? No. I'll post one in the chat for you.

Oh, I'd appreciate it Thank you Let the record state This is an audio podcast Andrew just reposted the Gavin Brazzers image When you said plowman It's immediately where my brain went to You look like a plowman in that photo

What does that mean? I don't know. You're about to get plowed, man. Stay connect. Eric, I just want to make a pepperoni pizza. Just simple, easy. So like mozzarella, pepperoni. No sweat.

That's absolutely what I'm getting. Regular pizza. I was talking to Andrew before this. He said, I want to make sure I get the same stuff. I said, no problem. I'm getting freak ingredients for Gavin's insane pizza and then regular ingredients for normal pizzas as well. I just figured this is the only time

I'm going to cook a pizza in a real pizza oven. I figured I'd make something. I like the idea. It's going to be nice to have a regular pepperoni to fall back on when mine tastes like shit. Listen, I hired an electrician to see about moving the electric so that I could maybe put a pool in the backyard someday. We hired an electrician in April, and he still hasn't done the work yet.

So there's a really good chance, and there's no indication that it'll be done this year. So there's a really good chance that that pizza oven is here for good, like forever. I'm not going to pull those. I'm not going to tear it down if we're not going to do anything else with the yard. So because it's just going to make a big ass hole in my yard that I don't have anything to do with. So maybe who knows? Maybe pizzas in the oven will become a mainstay. Maybe it'll go so well.

It'll become a thing we all we all do all the time. I'm convinced that it's going to be a disaster because I've never cooked in a pizzastay. Maybe it'll go so well it'll become a thing we all do all the time. I'm convinced that it's going to be a disaster because I've never cooked in a pizza oven before. I feel like it's probably incredibly difficult and easy to fuck up. But I'm excited to see. I'm going to try to cook a little pizza in my skillet and we'll see who turns out better. I feel like it could be

two ends of a terrible spectrum where I could see yours being burnt to a crisp and me not being cooked at all. I think that's a good chance that'll happen. I will say, I think Emily bought us a book or maybe one of her family members. I can't remember who bought the book, but we got a book when we first moved in on how to cook in a pizza oven. And I opened that sucker up and it was about 400 pages of math.

And I went, never mind. It was the most complicated thing I've ever seen in my entire life. So what I'll do is sometime between now and tomorrow, I'll watch one YouTube video and then I, never mind. It was the most complicated thing I've ever seen in my entire life. So what I'll do is sometime between now and tomorrow I'll watch one YouTube video and then we'll be fine. We'll be pretty ready to go, I think. Yeah, it'll be great. Dude, I'm about to go sub-thousand.

You put a plant in there? It's 80 degrees in that room? Turn on the AC, man. The rest of the house is cold. You're not in the rest of the house. You're in that room. Turn on the AC, man. The rest of the house is cold. You're not in the rest of the house. You're in that room. I can't freeze everyone else because my office is an oven. Meg's out of town.

You're there with the cats. The cats are in there with you. They love CO2. Do you think you're going to get so much oxygen you just like surpass this podcast and become too smart? Should we do a podcast on oxygen and see how quick we are we i know we would be thinking too clearly i don't think it's a good idea i'm done with taking like show theme ideas from you for a while we're good we're good yeah i've got high co2, so they're not any good.

I just had another little wave hit me again. It hit you again? Yeah. Mine's totally over. No, mine's definitely not over. Jeff, is it because it dripped into your butthole or what? Yeah, a little bit of that. It didn't get in the butthole. It stopped at gooch but i'm definitely there was definitely a transfer of of pain uh no i think it

just like it just flared back up a little bit maybe i used more i don't know uh i used a i used like a shaving cream amount uh so i wanted to get in there really good so um i might have just overdone it i guess i don't know it sucks either way um and i feel all sweaty still which makes me i feel like i need to take a shower but it's probably a fucking terrible idea because then it just reactivates with the water it was it was bad when i did it last time we recorded the ears especially i put way too much in and on one of the ears that fell right down into the hole uh and then after we recorded taking the headphones off and just feeling every light breeze go by was the worst feeling like it made me super sensitive to all wind

and both ears uh i had a shower later to try to like wash it off i was still feeling it i know you're not supposed to do this, but I feel like there was so much around my ear hole, I'll put a Q-tip in and just see what I could get. I was scooping out Icy Hot. It was terrible. It was a terrible time. It's probably what it must have been like

for Daredevil early on when he would try to go to sleep at night and he could just hear everything and he couldn't figure it out. He had to learn to sleep in the sleep deprivation chamber like your ears senses are so heightened yeah for that period of time i did hey i felt go ahead no you go ahead you did found i i found something that i was really excited about when i was looking i don't remember what i was looking for my desk but i was going through things we remember g Gavin's tea towel he

had the great tea towel as a kid and we talked about how we wish we had images like that from our childhood I found some drawings I did of myself my interpretation of what I look like as a child I think I was probably five when I did this and my family so I'll post is this around the same age that we were in that suit no that was a this is a bit younger okay the men in black suit so this is click and drag my computer's piece shit one second this is here we go this is my interpretation as a kid I'm glad this isn't on a tea towel. It doesn't deserve to be. I'm trying to fill as my computer does nothing.

Here we go. Childhood me. Processing. There we go. Look at that. Look at that art. Look at that clear. My arms don't extend past my body. It appears.

Are your arms the balls? I think the ball is supposed to be my body. Oh, maybe they are. I don't know. What is the lines? This is a tough thing to interpret. It looks like you're holding a big gong stick. It does.

That's what I love to do. I was known for holding gong sticks. that was my main hobby as a child can we do a shirt where that's next to my one and jeff has to jeff you must be able to find something you did as a kid that we can oh i guarantee you i can i was actually i was i i'm really happy to hear you god i'm having trouble talking. I'm really happy to hear you say that because I was thinking of a similar shirt idea that I thought would be really cute. Where I think it's great. And I think we should absolutely do that. I guarantee you my mom has something that I drew as a kid

that we can throw up there. Wouldn't it be adorable to make a shirt that's just the picture of Andrew either hitting the tennis ball, but I think that's from like a newspaper, or like the picture of Andrew in his men in black suit with the gun, then a picture of Gavin, young Gavin being

really cute, and then a picture of me. I actually have a photo. I can't find it right now, but I have a photo of me holding up a fish, being really proud of the fish I caught. I think we just put each of those images on the shirt, and then that's just us as little boys. I think that'd be adorable. I love it.

That's fantastic. I'm so happy to find that it was a sad document to read. It was, it was like the second, it was like a thing I made, I think in kindergarten that was like explaining who you are, like an introductory thing. So it's like all about me.

And the second page was a handprint. And then one of the pages was like explaining who you are like an introductory thing so it's like all about me and the second page was a handprint and then one of the pages was like my my family that i drew and then the last two pages were uh when you're happy and my one i was happy was when i'm not in the hospital uh which is great and then my i'm sad when dogs bite me was how I closed out the hole. It was incredibly sad. It was a five thing thing to read that was sad. I think the real move here would have been to replace Andrew with Raymond. It would have been. If that was still. Why does it say?

Am I looking through the page to the page? Why does it say Mr. Hands? Oh, that's my hand. The next page is just like my hand. Mr. Hands. it's not mr interesting man i can't find this fucking photo of me holding the fish here's a picture of me with with goofy yeah got other people in it but i have a photo predicting how the pizzas are gonna go tomorrow post that just quickly for you guys this is is my assumption of what's going to happen

when it's done. It'll be the same. Post a photo of Jess' reaction to the beans. I think the pizzas will turn out more like this. Glad I'm not eating that. I'm excited about the pizzas. I think we're going to get some good shit. I've never used a pizza oven.

Do we need to do research tonight or i told you man i'm gonna watch one youtube video i i recommend everybody watch one youtube video and then we'll all have between the however many of us show up we'll have um multiple youtube video knowledge you did say that i remember that fine but it's okay you're not firing on all cylinders your balls are on fire and you're full of co2 hey we should start wrapping up uh i uh fuck man i was i want to propose something to you guys okay but i can't do it till i feel like it comes after the proposal story face story that i have i don't know oh jesus christ i forgot i'm so. We've been teasing your

proposal thing for like, I mean, I feel like we've been over teasing it now. It's not that funny. It's just it's just more of I want to hear it, though, is the problem. All right. I'll tell it real fast because I want to propose something to you guys after that. But it kind of comes hand in hand with it. So as you guys know, I've been wanting to propose to Emily for a long time. I wanted to do it in a really romantic, fun way. I wanted to do... I had a bunch of ideas. I was going to do it on a summer vacation. I was going to take her somewhere romantic. But, you know,

Millie had her surgery, and that took up our whole summer. And then Henry got sick, and we tried to go to Disneyland, and then we had to come home because Henry was sick, and then we tried to go on a vacation with Gavin and Meg but then Emily got COVID so we couldn't go just like everything kept getting in the way of me proposing to Emily this summer uh and so finally we uh decided we were gonna we needed some time away because we'd missed like every

opportunity to have a vacation kind of got ruined and so um we made this this vacation up to mackinac island in the like up at the top of the mitt in in michigan yeah up to like silent cartographer and all that yeah up to silent cartographer and so i decided uh this is the perfect place to uh well to learn a little bit about the halo and what it is and is it a weapon or not i don't know this is the perfect place uh the perfect place to propose to emily it's like it's this i've talked about it i don't want to like retread old ground but it's this old-timey island with no cars everything is horse-drawn carriages or bicycles right and it's like antiquated they have 13 different fudge shops we endeavored to eat at every fudge shop. We came pretty close.

I think we got to nine of them. And by the way, can I be honest with you guys? As an aside, I sampled nine of the 13 fudgeries. They were all pretty good. I got to be 100% honest with you. I could buy better fudge in Austin any day of the week. Wow. It's not so good that you got to travel to get there.

The fudge in your town is just as good as the fudge in Mackinac Island. If not, honestly, a little bit better. Not to say that Mackinac Island isn't wonderful and that the fudge isn't absolutely worth eating when you go there. Have the fudge. It's great. You'll love it. Andrew, would you travel two blocks to try that fudge? A hundred percent I would.

I travel for fudge. Absolutely. I travel for fudge. Anyway travel for fudge uh anyway so i realized this is my opportunity to propose to emily so i start reading about the island i start looking at places to to go to propose there's this place called arch rock uh it holds the secrets to the universe and potentially to the future of my relationship so uh i decide that's where i'll do it um and i'm doing all this based off Wikipedia and travel blogs and shit because I've never been there and I don't really know anybody who's been there.

And then I thought... One thing I did know is that Emily wanted there to be photos. We had discussed this before. She's like, I want there to be a record of the proposal. So we'll have that. And so I called a bunch of professional photographers on the island, like wedding photographers and just like basically every person who was listed as a photographer on Mackinac Island. And none of them got back to me. And then right about the time I was like, oh, I need to double down and figure this out.

Henry died. And so I was completely and totally distracted with dealing with grief and that and all that. So I just totally dropped the ball on the photo thing and scheduling a photographer. And I realized that kind of like on the plane and I thought, well, fuck, I'll just figure it out when I get there, I guess. Right. And so we get to Mackinac Island and we check into our hotel, which is right there. All the hotels are like on the main strip, like right there at the bottom of the island. And then kind of get my bearings. I wanted to kind of preview Arch Rock, but it's like three miles away, and I couldn't figure out an easy way to get there. And then so I thought, you know what? No worries. The next day, we had a

horse-drawn carriage ride tour of the island island and it's going by our truck so I thought oh I'll get a kind of a kind of an idea of the preview there when we when we go and then that'll I'll be able to get the lay of the land and figure out like where I'm going to propose and you know kind of like work out the particulars and see if maybe I can find somebody to photograph it I've got like two days on this island so I can do

some work like maybe Emily goes to the bathroom and I like call somebody real fast or whatever and like you know so so the one thing in my head is like, I should try to, I should try to, I should try to fill her with foods that make her go to the bathroom a lot. So I'll have time when she's like on the toilet that I can figure this out. Didn't happen. Uh, so, um, the next day we get it up, it's like fucking 40 degrees, of course, we get it up it's like fucking 40 degrees of course because it's october at the ass and top ass end of america uh and so it's pretty cold and windy and so we go and we get on this horse-drawn carriage and i'm i bring the ring with me just in case i'm fucking jazzed because i'm like i'm

gonna figure this out now and then i can plan it a little bit because i don't want to wing it too much you know this is an important deal and uh we get in this horse-drawn carriage and we start going up a hill. And I realize where the hotels and everything are is at the bottom of Mackinac Island. And everything past it is up. And this hill is so intense to get up that the horse-drawn carriage has to stop three times to allow the horses a break it's like scheduled in and they have like extra doing shit with horses dude i know right it's like extra facts and shit that they rattle off while you're sitting there and the horses are like getting a breather and drinking

some water before they go back up again you know and i and i'm watching this this is like the one road that goes up and uh there's tons of people walking bicycles up looking miserable. And I'm like, well, that's good to know, you know. And we continue this tour. And about an hour later, after the horses have had enough breaks and we get up the hill, the guy's like, all right, we're going to go to pass a great. Here's a cemetery. Here's a cemetery.

There's an old Civil War battle or War of 1812 battle or whatever. We're going to. But by the way, the British loved Mackinac Island. They stole, Gavin, your people fought fiercely for Mackinac Island

for some reason. They fought it, they won it back from America like three times. Oh shit. And they actually controlled it for a good clip after the Revolutionary War even.

Yeah, it was like a very strategic because of like, I guess, Canadian fur trapping and stuff would come through Mackinac Island. It's apparently where Paul Astor made all of his money where he bought half of New York.

He bought it all from, he made millions of dollars on furs on Mackinac Island. Anyway, so I get kind of jazzed because we're heading towards Arch Rock and I'm like, okay, now I can finally figure this shit out. And as we're like heading to uh heading kind of towards arch rock and i'm like okay now i can finally like figure this shit out and as we're getting there it's getting colder and windier and we just keep going up and up and up and i realize there's no way i'm gonna get emily back

to arch rock like unless it's like unbelievably beautiful. I don't, like, we're not going to walk a bicycle up two miles of hills when it's 40 degrees and windy, right? Like, that makes no fucking sense. Like, that's not going to happen. So I'm like,

oh shit, maybe I have to do it right now. And so I look around me on the horse-drawn carriage. It's like a, it's like a big carriage. It holds like, I don't know,

maybe 20 people. And so, there's like 10 people on it and they're, everybody is 80 years old it's like because it's a place where old people go to vacation i think at least in the fall uh and so like everybody around us is like septuagenarian octogenarian very like just elder people lovely people but um and uh i'm like oh this is kind of a weird vibe and then we get to arch rock and they

go all right we're gonna step out we got 10 minutes for a bathroom break everybody there's the bathrooms uh there's arch rock you can take a look at it take a photo and then we're gonna head back on and i realized this place is on the other end of the island there's no way i'm getting emily back to arch rock right like it's not gonna happen there's no way i can trick her into going back like oh maybe we should ride our bike uphill in the wind and cold uh to see that thing we just saw 24 hours ago because there's you know it's just not there's no way i can work that out so i'm like i think i have to do it right now and so we we wait in line to get up to the walkway of arch rock which is just like a little like metal walkway that goes out over the side of the cliff for a second you take a photo when you leave

and it's just slammed with like tourists it is It's where everybody on the island stops to go to the bathroom apparently and everybody on the island is like 60, 70 years old and so we have to fight through all these old ass people to get to the edge and then I'm like, it's now or never. I'm going to have to propose to this lady right now or I'm going to miss this window. I'm going to miss this window

and I don't know how to open that window back up. Like the window is, it's like a hundred year old window it's shut with paint like there's no way it's gonna open up like the fucking latch is like it hasn't been open in 50 years right it's called that droopy glass it's fatter at the bottom

yeah it's got the droopy fatter glass where gravity's taking over right and so I'm like I get kind of fucking nervous and emily's like why are you shaking and i'm like oh no reason it's so fucking cold and i start taking off my gloves because i can't fucking i got fat glove fingers you know and i'm trying to get my the ring out and she's like what are you doing and i'm like oh nothing and she's like why are you taking your gloves off and i'm like uh no reason and then i just get down on my knee and I pull the fucking box out.

And right as I do it, the lady next to me goes, oh my God, are you for real? And I look at her, I'm like, what? And the people behind me go, what's going on? What's happening? And then Emily goes,

what are you doing? And I go, nothing. And she goes, and the lady goes, what are you doing? And I go, uh, nothing. And she goes, and the lady goes, is this really happening? I'm like angry, and I go,

yeah, it's really happening, I'm proposing to her, okay? And she goes, right here? And I'm like, yeah,

right here. And the people behind me go, is he, is he, is he, and they just start pointing at us, and nobody's happy about it. And Emily goes,

let me go, Emily goes, are you, are you, are you serious, Clarkark which is like a line from uh fucking beverly d'angelo says to uh clark griswold and like uh fucking uh national lampoon's vacation like are you for real clark and i'm like yeah and then i'm like i'm like shaking holding the box and i'm looking up at her and this lady's mad and she goes uh she goes well do you want me to take a picture or something and i go oh fuck right god thank you i forgot i'm so nervous and i'm like yes please that would be i would really appreciate it if you would take a photo

and emily's just standing there and the lady goes well you're gonna give me a camera or what how do i take the photo and i'm like oh my fucking god i'm like yeah let me give you my phone and i give her my phone and i unlock it for her. And then she starts taking photos. And then the people behind her go, is this real? Are they really doing this right now? And I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to.

And then some other people go, congratulations. And I go, she hasn't said yes yet. I haven't had the damn fucking ask her. And then I'm like, Emily, and I say some stuff that I came up with about how much I love her. And she's like the most important thing in the world to me. And that's changed my life and she saved me from despair and you know

all the things about how I profess my undying love to her and I like put the ring on her and she's like oh my god and then and then the people are like did she say yes yet and I'm like yeah I think so and I look at her and I'm like you haven't actually said yes and she's like oh right yes and I'm like okay she said yes and then like

I got like this, like two golf claps. And then we went back down to the bathrooms where the car was and we got back in the horse-drawn carriage and it was all the same people.

Nobody said anything to us. They just got back on. They gave us dirty looks. The lady who was sitting next to us who took the photos, she just looked at us for like 10 minutes and then after we'd been on the ride again for a little while she leaned over and

she goes i really wish the best for you guys it's like the least sincere way ever and i'm like this fucking this fucking asshole but then i realized this lady's like 72 and she's on a trip to mackinac island by herself probably probably things, you know, like, she might have some issues, right? Like, who knows what's going on in her life? So I'm like, trying not to take it personally. And then when we get off to leave, everybody goes up and tips the driver money.

Like, here's a dollar, thanks for whatever. And I go up and I tip the driver. I give him 10 bucks and I go, hey man, thank you so much. It was a big day for us. And I tip him, I give him a $10 bill, which is at least eight bucks more than anybody else has given him. He just looks at me,

looks the other way. And, and that's it. Like my proposal, joyless place in the country. My proposal somehow ruined the day of everyone who came into contact with it. But us like it was funny and sweet and it was

actually beautiful and it was a great setting and it was lovely but I did it I had to do it on a bathroom break on a tour of old people who were not into it and didn't appreciate it and were completely and totally not sold on me proposing to him

if you knew that's how it was gonna go would you have figured a way to open the old window yeah yeah i think i would have i think i would have come up with an audible yeah oh you described that as like a mild inconvenience occurred that was completely fucked on every level there's a disaster at every stage. It was like, it was like, I'm just trying to profess my love to this person who's very important to me and who I want to commit to,

you know, for the remainder of my life. And it really put a couple of old ass people out. Like they were not into it. And I, God damn man. Everybody in the, universally. I've been spent a lot of time in

michigan the last few years because emily's family lives there now and every person i've come into contact with in michigan was lovely just like the sweetest most kind happy nicest polite midwestern people you'd ever meet except for for everybody who was on Mackinac Island that weekend, who was an absolutely raging utter cunt. Maybe it's an altitude thing. Maybe people from Michigan at altitude get meter. Or like none of those people were from Michigan. They're all tourists maybe,

but God damn, I like, I like ruined a bunch of old people's day by, by telling my girlfriend I wanted to marry her. Uh, it was so fucking weird anyway i had to tell you all that because i've been thinking about something and i wanted to run it by you guys uh emily asked me she's like are you gonna do like a bachelor party and i'm like i'm not a bachelor party guy um and i don't drink anymore or anything like that uh but then it hit me i think a perfect bachelor party weekend for me,

if you guys are into it, and unless you guys want to be those old people on our truck, which you more than welcome to be. Vegas, baby! I would love to go crabbing with you guys in Vancouver Island. I think that would be like the perfect bachelor party weekend. Bachelor crabbing? Let's do it.

Yeah, make that our crabbing weekend. It'll be like my bachelor weekend, and we'll just go crabbing. Hell yeah. I love it. I think that's a fantastic idea. I'm still, I'm just processing. I can't think of anybody else I'd rather spend that time with than you guys. I would love to be there.

I'd love that. That'd be so much fun. So just to recap, I believe this is the photo right this the old lady took this photo yeah she took great photos that's a great photo second of all it brings me so much joy knowing that everybody behind that camera is irate with you for no reason just what there's a pile of 12 people that are like hurry up we want to take our photos too I want to look over the railing. You got a combined age of 10,000 irate with you

behind that camera. And they were like, is this a joke? And I'm like, no, it's not! And somebody literally said, is this a joke? And I was like, no, it's not a joke! I'm trying to propose here! And they're like, oh, congratulations! And I'm like, she hasn't said yes! You're still talking to me!

Anyway, so that's how that went. That's great. Oh, man. That's fantastic. I'm excited to go crabbing. I'm excited to go crabbing with y'all. And I don't know if it was the funniest episode we've ever done, but there were three sets of balls that were definitely uncomfortable

and on fire throughout it uh so six testicles were spent in the making of that do you still have six what do you still have two rather is it one of yours did they remove it or did they just staple it uh they popped it out and popped it back in again your ball stapled it down your testicle left your body briefly yeah one of my balls knows what it's like to briefly live outside the sack. You have a testicle that's essentially like a ball astronaut. Wow.

That's pretty impressive. Ball astronaut. That's amazing. It looks like re-entry was rough. It looked like this that's Gavin on the surgery table oh well there you go I guess that's probably good for an episode

thank you for indulging me in my proposal story I had to get through it so that I could ask you guys to go crabbing with me. And I guess we'll see you next week for another episode. Be on the lookout for a monkey movie. Watch along. That'll be out on YouTube and the site here pretty soon. I don't think we know when, but soon. Be on the lookout for pizza making video content. That'll be non-regulation supplementary content.

That'll be out sooner or later. I'm just going to go ahead and make one single video from that event, if that's all right. Yeah, just do this one. Yeah, I think that's enough. And we'll make sure it goes out.

Be on the lookout for our animated show, which I think should be out by the time that this episode releases based on previous release schedules i believe so yeah that will be on our youtube the first it's the the vancouver child kicker is the first episode it's fantastic they did how many episodes are in this season i think six yeah six or seven somewhere around there i saw thumbnails today for the first three episodes, and they are so adorable.

I'm very excited. I can't wait for people to see them. And also, while we're at it, because we are a supplementary content podcast now, be on the lookout for an in-depth overview of Gavin and Andrew's experience on Survive Black Island. I believe that show is wrapping up here pretty soon. And you guys will remember on our first office day,

we recorded about an hour long, just a little audio podcast of you guys talking about your experience on participating in that game show. And so as soon as that's out, as soon as the final episode of that show is out, then I see no reason why we wouldn't dump out that video too.

Or definitely watch the show first. And also get ready for us to discuss a lot of stuff that was never in the show. Yeah. Cause it hadn't been edited yet. And I guess so many of the things we talk about, I just kept like snipped out as if they were trying to fit every episode onto vinyl. There's entire chunks.

Well, they were working with him. They had a lot of footage and a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. Not everything could make it in, unfortunately. Well, there you go. Also, maybe if you like this video. Why did I say that?

Maybe if you like this podcast. It's not a video. Listen, I'm getting fucking mad. Maybe Gavin and I don't live too far from each other. Maybe there's some CO2 seeping. 952. That's great. It's going down.

It's going down. You're trending in the right direction right now. Anyway, if you like the podcast, maybe give it a like or a review or just tell somebody that you like about it and then maybe they'll like it and then it's something that you guys can bond over and that's I think that isn't that what it's all

about at the end bonding with people over podcasts that's why we exist so you know do that bye that's pretty good it was a good outro Jeff no it wasn't you don't think that was a good outro no it's so what happened That's pretty good. It was a good outro, Jeff. No, it wasn't. You don't think that was a good outro? No.

It's so... What happened? I mean, you did the intro. Why don't you just do a quick outro for us? Thank you so much for listening to episode 128 of F*** Face. If you like this, follow us on Instagram. Follow us on Twitter at F*** Face Pod. It's so easy to stay up to date with everything that's going on. Hope you like the monkey movie stuff.

Hope you like the Survive Block Island stuff. We have so much supplementary content coming your way only here on the F*** Face Podcast. I mean it was higher energy. Alright, goodbye. Just end it. Just f***ing end it. episode of F*** Face. Really quickly, I'd like to hijack the episode to let you know we are auctioning off an original F*** Face hat that Andrew had made in order to raise money for extra life. Just go to bit.ly slash ELAUCTION in all caps for info. And now with the episode. What is

the sneakiest animal? Hard stuff is easy. Is Andrew an ace at darts? Sidearm pitching is weird. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.