Regulation Podcast - What Flavors are We? // Salt, Pepper, & Bullshit [122]

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about baseballs going on sale September 30 @ noon CT, AlphaBet rules on the next episode, Gavin all stopped up, Andrew's heartburn, nut fight, heartburn, Does It Do, more Extra Medium, Gavin's travel story, and a new piss boy? Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Better Help at http://betterhelp.com/face , Fum at http://www.breathefum.com/face , and Honey at http://joinhoney.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, with me as always, Andrew Payton from Canada. Gavin Free from England via America. And this is episode something, volume something or other, year whatever. Oh, it's back. Well, I don't know what, whatever the fuck it is. Episode 122, year something, volume something else.

And hello, boys. Hi. Hi. Look at that. We both did it successfully. That was smooth. We got a lot to talk about today. It's been a while.

I wrote notes. It's been a minute. So I'm just going to burn through some of these motes. I'm going to burn through some of these notes because it's like housekeeping shit. Number one thing we should cover. Well, we should be clear, though. This isn't Monkey Morning. No, no.'s like housekeeping shit. Number one thing we should cover. Well, we should be clear, though. This isn't Monkey Morning. No, no, we'll get there.

It's number four on the list. Sorry. Okay. And it was never Monkey Morning. It was Monkey Lunch. But anyway. Oh, sorry. Monkey Morning, that was a previous iteration of this video.

Okay, right out of the gate. We talked about it last week. I think we even put some photos up. The baseballs are coming out. The pre-hit, autographed, in-paint, f***face second round of baseballs, hit by me, signed by me, is releasing on the Rooster Teeth website on 12 Central PM, September 30th.

So that's Friday, September 30th at 12 noon Central Time. Prepare to be pissed off. Prepare to be pissed off. I believe there are about 200 and some change. So I'm not 100% sure on that. 205. Okay. So we got 205 baseballs.

So there you go. If you want one, that's how you get one go to the roosterteeth store uh roosterteeth.com and uh be there i don't get there 11 58 get there a little early you never know well they're gonna be sold out by 11 55 so why are we even no no i've been assured we have this fixed it will go on sale on time. If you go to the site and you mark the thing like, hey, let me know when this is back. It'll send you a direct link. It'll be the fastest way.

No way. You're welcome. You're welcome. Well, can we please bet some whether it all falls apart? Sure. Yeah, I'm going to bet it. I bet it goes smoothly. Yeah, I think it goes smoothly as well.

I bet it doesn't. It fucking better go smoothly. Yeah, I think it goes smoothly as well. I bet it doesn't. It fucking better go smoothly. All right. Okay, next piece of housecleaning. When we ended the last episode, we were very excited to jump into this one because we were going to hammer out the rules and get started on our alphabet food challenge.

However, and we'll get into this a little bit later as well because we're supposed to be doing the monkey movie right now. We're having to do back-to-backs today. So it would make no sense for us to develop the rules and get it all squared away and then immediately go into another recording where we can't talk about it. So we'll handle all of that in episode 123.

I apologize. I think you were probably expecting it in 122 because i'm pretty sure we we definitely said we'd start that it would 100 start in uh episode 122 but just because of logistically i think it would be way it would fuck you guys and us way harder to figure it all out this week and then have a whole episode that we we don't discuss it at all and then go into it. So we'll just skip any alphabet conversations and push those to the recording that we're going to do

immediately after this one ends. Everybody's okay with that. All right. Yeah, that's fine. So are we going to start then on the Monday, next Monday with that? For us, not them.

I know when they'll hear it. We'll discuss that next episode. Okay. Andrew really wants it to happen in this episode. Yeah, I don't know the answer, but I don't want to talk about it right now. I just said a little bit of question.

Because there's no such thing as a question. You'll open a can of worms. It's brutal. We'll get into this next episode too, but I just had what I thought was a simple dinner with Eric the other night, and it turned contentious quickly. Oh, wow.

I don't even want to cover the alphabet. What can we talk about this episode? I'll tell you the number one thing I'd like to talk about is why we're not filming a goddamn monkey movie again! This is so fucking ludicrous.

I was trying to figure it out. I think each of us have now been responsible for pushing the MVP2 recording at least twice. That was my first push, I think. That was your second. I'm not sure about that.

Andrew definitely shoved it a couple. I did one. No, I've shoved it. Okay, you know, fuck you. Andrew shoved it twice. Gavin, I've done it once. I've had one shuffle. I think everybody's done it. I think everybody's done it a hundred times. Gavin, you motherfucker. Now you're the reason we're not filming the monkey movie right now.

I hope you enjoyed your vacation. It was lovely. I realized that the time I landed was exactly the time that monkey lunch started. Or monkey movie. So I'd say British Airways, 50% to blame. Oh, goddamn, dude. So the current plan is that we film the Monkey Movie next week, I think?

Is that right, Eric? Yes. Friday. The exact same time as now. Yes. So it is on the calendar next Friday. Well, that means nothing. It was on the calendar for this week, too.

I 100% agree with you, but it's still on the calendar. Usually whenever I have to move something or if I'm going to be late or miss a podcast, Eric's like, no problem. Sort it out. Eric's response this time was Jesus Christ. It's like I'm just I'm so disgusted by all of us. I can't. I have zero.

You want to talk about a bet? Let's place a bet on whether we film the monkey movie next week or not. How about that? I feel way more. No, not way more. I feel equally confident on both those things. I also like that you're leading this charge. I feel like you've pushed the monkey movie the most, Jeff.

I think I have, too. But now I'm telling you, everybody has pushed the monkey movie. I agree. Totally. I only pushed F*** Face. I didn has pushed the monkey movie well i mean i agree i totally i only pushed face i didn't push that's true movie so i don't think i could even take all i did yesterday was land at the time we were recording face no you put you push the monkey movie by virtue of you having to push face yeah priorities it's it's absolutely dominoes and you set them off that's a great way to put. Nick is changing opinions like the wind right now in the Discord.

Nick says, that's true, and then below it, that's also true. Well, I will say that the monkey movie being pushed, I think, ultimately is a good thing because it has given me more time to put together my presentation. How much time do you need for your PowerPoint? You've had a year. This is what I'm time to put together my presentation. How much time do you need for your PowerPoint? You've had a year. This is what I'm going to get into, Gavin. I was always very much a leave the homework until the night before type of guy. And that has continued with MVP.

So I've been starting. I started it assuming we would be doing it today. And I realized I need way more time to do this right I could have put something together, but to make it truly right I needed more time. I rewatched the entire film I got my screen grabs I got everything kind of organized already how many screen gap grabs would you two guess that I'm a VP one on my first You know from MVP one to do this presentation I would guess and it's in let's say like 86 minute movie I would guess for a

solid presentation at least 20 at least 20 what about you Jeff God what's it's either comically high or comically low 20 feels like a pretty safe I'm gonna say four you're gonna say four yeah I'm gonna go the other way

before we had a merch meeting yesterday and before we started it i said to eric i've captured way too many images for this thing i probably have like a hundred so then i highlighted them all to get a specific number i clicked and dragged i ended up with 227 screen captures for an 86 The frames talk about one every like 20 seconds, and it would be longer than the movie I Said to Eric at this point I just want to do like one of those stick man drawings where you like you rapidly you like Spin it and it moves for you like you're just seeing a physical version of the film

I edited it down. I reduced it. I went through all of it last night. I got my kind of final cut. I feel there might be one more minor edit. How many images do you think we ended up with with the final edit? 120. 50. Jeff is very close.

144. We got 144 images to convey the story of MVP. Do you think that might be too long? No, honestly, I think I may have cut out some aspects of it. It was also interesting because I did it in chronological order. Like I'd watch the movie and be like, oh, this is a plot point. I'm going to capture this. And then realizing like, like oh there's like three or four storylines that they start and just never finish they have no conclusions so like i don't

need any of it we just pretend it doesn't happen i think i don't cover two or three of the hockey games it's uh i cut where i could but there's there's a chord of this story that needs to be told so how long is your presentation gonna be do, do you think? Oh, I don't know. I'm going to try to keep it under 10 minutes would be my goal. And we're recording that as well, right, for release? I believe so, yeah. As a primer for the

audience? I think that would be the beginning of the monkey lunch recording, I assumed would be the presentation being displayed. That's great. What are you guys going to eat for lunch? A monkey lunch? Yeah. That's tough because bananas, obviously, a go-to in that scenario,

but I don't do that. I'm off bananas. I'm a little bit stopped up. Yeah? What happened? I'm just not pooing. Really? Yeah.

But didn't you just go on vacation outside of America? Don't you poo better outside of America? I'll be honest, right now, I've got food from Italy, England, and Texas in me at the same time. Oh, God. And not super comfortable. Are you okay outside of like, are you dealing with, is your stomach sore? Has it impacted other areas? I feel like someone's inflated a balloon in my gut.

But I feel there's definitely movement. Like it's slowly working its way towards the doors. Have you attempted to use the sleep apnea machine to fill yourself with air to maybe push what's stuck through? Yeah, almost like you're plunging yourself. I would be genuinely worried that my stomach would explode. worried that my stomach would explode i i was gonna i was gonna go the medicine route but i like i like andrew's idea of repurposing everyday items to solve this problem i uh i i made a mistake i've never felt more human than i have this morning that is a mistake yeah doesn't happen often my burger confidence is gone i don't think I've ever felt more like Icarus

Then when you wake up with heartburn, I like I woke up at 6 30 a.m. I couldn't sleep last night I was up a little bit later than I'd want to be and I was like I'll have a little snack before bed So I had two or three pieces of garlic toast. There's garlic bread. It was great Had a great time woke up at 6 30 feeling like there was a volcano in my chest it was just terrible terrible heartburn no tums no tombs nothing in sight nothing i could do to relieve it just sitting there i've never felt more human my wings are seared my burger confidence was gone it's terrible so you don't feel human when both of your ankles are snapped uh no that's just like

an alternate form i guess i don't know when eight of of the months of the year you're on the the injury report with an ankle injury it's sort of just that's normal that's i'd argue the months that i'm not hurt that's like i'm in super form. That is beyond. That is another level of burger confidence existence. So broken is the standard. Broken is the standard. So what caused the heartburn? Garlic bread. Garlic bread.

And then immediately went to sleep. So garlic bread will do it to you, huh? I guess for me, yeah. I feel like that's something that has changed over time. Red wine gets me. Really? That's an interesting one yeah gavin what do you can you look back to one meal you think that stopped you up can you attribute like what do you think what do you think did the worst damage to you uh i always get wrecked by seafood so i'm gonna say it was the uh six giant king prawns i had oh that sounds good did you make a condiment sauce to go with them

no i didn't no i didn't okay a bit of lemon lemon's great eric says peanut butter peanut butter backs of air that yeah or does that give you heartburn or is that stops you up it's heartburn and only sometimes and i don't know why because i eat i'll eat peanut butter but then there are times where i have peanut butter otherwise and it's like oh no and i'm just like like alien like spitting acid could it be what you're pairing it with or is it just the peanut no no it's like it's like a spoonful of peanut butter i think i just have i i i don't think i have a peanut allergy because i eat peanut butter sometimes and it's fine i just think that there's just something sometimes where something gets caught or hits

something wrong and all of a sudden wow do you do you ever eat peanuts like cracker jacks or just like roast honey roasted yeah when typically when you take me out to the ball game uh i will have i'll have some peanuts but okay um other that, I think peanuts are pretty bottom tier. How? Whoa. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Now, Jeff, continue.

We don't need to get into the peanuts. He's right. Peanuts are. Oh, I know I'm right. It's fine. Thank you, Andrew. They're a staple nut, but they are like, they're not a great nut. I agree.

100% agree. The peanuts are the nut. It's a great base nut. Yeah, they are. They're the number one nut in the world. Yeah, I don't think that's wrong, but they're not the best tasting. You can prepare them.

You can coat them in so many different things. It's a great base nut. Yeah, you can't coat any other nut with any other thing. I just bought... You know what you can't do with other nuts? I just bought a bunch of peanuts to boil yesterday. I'm going to boil peanuts this weekend. Oh, that's disgusting.

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. Yeah, that's absolutely vile. So delicious. Gavin's had them before. They're actually pretty good. Pretty fucking good. Jeff made them and they were great. A bit weird.

Boiled peanuts, man. It's a southern delicacy. I'm open to it. I don't think there's anything wrong. I think we would agree that peanuts are like the Coke of nuts. Like, they're by far number one. They're the Coke of nuts. I just don't think that they're the best tasting.

I didn't say that they were the best tasting. That's what I think we're clear. That's the issue I think we're having. Well, why don't we all say the best tasting nut on three? Okay. Ooh, that's tough. That's a tough. There's two.

Count us down. All right. We'll do three, two, one, go. And I'll go and say a nut. Ready? Okay. Okay. Ooh, that's tough. That's a tough... Count us down. We'll do three, two, one, go. Ready? Okay. Three, two, one. Cashew. Cashew is the worst nut. What? Hang on.

That's a terrible take. Get fucked. Are you kidding me? Macadamia nuts are way better. Pistachios are way better. That's a terrible take get fucked are you kidding me now macadamia nuts macadamia nuts are way better pistachios are way better that's a great nut i think you're ridiculous calling cashew terrible nut i was considering pistachio i love a pistachio the problem with pistachios is you'll get one in like every i don't know 87 that is just awful that's like rotten that's the issue of pistachios that's a lot of work it's like yeah that's true true. That's the issue with pistachios. That's not a lot of work. It's like, yeah, that's true. Well, I mean, you just buy them at the store

like, I get like spicy pistachios that are already like, already shelled and they're fucking awesome. I do agree, you know, Andrew, I feel like there has to be like one pistachio in every bag or like a bunch of pistachios that absorbs all the bad in it and it just becomes like the doo-doo

pistachio and it takes all the bad flavor away from the others it's like the cursed pistachio yeah it's like the cursed pistachio we're speaking of curses that's another thing we should talk about at some point today um but listen i don't want to get i don't want to turn this into an indictment of nuts i don't want to get into a whole nut fight i feel like we've got so much other food stuff to be angry at each other about uh or to argue about um but i i do have a question do you guys talk about heartburn like you have it a lot is heartburn a like a relatively common thing for y'all no very rare for me i actually i remember really wanting heartburn as a kid because then i could use gaviscon what is gaviscon it sounds like like a name. Oh. Why? Why did?

I don't understand. Because of the name. Taste? It's got my entire name in it. It's awesome. Yeah, it's like. I mean, this was a realization I had at the age of about six. Okay.

I saw that immediately. I just don't understand. I guess where my disconnect is, is why does using it make it cooler? I feel like the fact that it exists is the cool thing. I think I just wanted to have some. Because there's a medicine out there that if you take three letters away, it says Gavin. No, I get it. Take out the sco.

I get it. I just don't think that makes it cooler. But a six-year-old, I probably would. I used to have heartburn and acid reflux every day of my life. Really? yeah for for probably 15 years and then i quit drinking and it went away and i don't know that i've had heartburn

since i quit drinking alcohol wow like yeah it was just something i knew and i knew that was what it was like it was pretty hard not to not to understand what i was doing uh but yeah it's just like that's why i asked because i because I forgot about heartburn until this conversation, because it just hasn't been an issue since I quit drinking. Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, sorry to hear you guys are still plagued by it. Eric takes medicine for it every day of his life. I think I'm alright. There you go.

Gaviscon. Have you ever had Gaviscon? Did that dream ever happen? I still don't think I've ever had it. Let me ask you a question. Because you posted a picture of Gaviscon, and it says it's mint-flavored. I assume that's like the standard flavor.

What flavor would you attribute to Gavin? Like, if you had to pick a signature flavor for a caffin, if you were a medicine, what flavor do you come in? Are we all going to gonna make answers do you want i would in my head i don't know why this is i'm gonna have to decode this myself i immediately went to some combination of like a fruit like a berry with black licorice wow flavor profile that i'm getting i think that's quite flattering. I'll take that.

Yeah, that is really good. I like black licorice, dude. I would take you as medicine instantly. Somebody who rates cashews the number one or the least number one. Dude, I'm sorry. The least number one. Yeah, I'm sorry. The least number one.

When you get them on the airplane, I'd fucking throw those on the floor, dude. I don't want anything to do with it. It's a waste of a nut. It's a waste of itself. Just, yeah. It's just a, yeah, it's a pointless. How about you, Gab?

Do you think you're mint flavored? I don't even know if I can answer. I don't know why. I think I'm too close to it. I think you're tomato-based. Oh, I could see that. That's interesting. A tomato-based?

Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. I would have said maybe some sort of oil. Like olive oil? What type of oil? Like olive oil. Ah, I see.

That feels a little too fancy to me. Oh, okay. Olive oil is extravagant high-end stuff eric what flavor are you what flavor do i think i am or gavin is no you what flavor are you i think gavin is that bubble gum flavor that you get see there you go nick nick is saying that he's bubble gum i could see that too but i think that i, like I associate Gavin with that bubble gum flavor that you get with like some medicines when you're a kid. Um, I think I'm like a NyQuil flavor.

Like, you know, when you take NyQuil and you go, this is absolutely vile, but boy, it really helps you out. I feel like that's sort of like, that's my maybe NyQuil with an ashtray poured in it.

Has someone been ashing their cigarettes in my nightquill? Oh, well, I'm going to bed. I'm ashtrayed, Michael. Oh, man. What about you, Jeff? Oh, I hadn't thought about me. I think you've got like a salt flavor to you. I think I'm like... My wife just... Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't thought about me. I think you've got like a salt flavor to you.

I think I'm like my wife just. Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. My wife just texted me and said cinnamon. So did you ask her what flavor you know? She's just in another room and she just texted. I think I'm jalapeno flavored. I think I'm like I'm spicy, you know, just like some generic spice.

Like, like, yeah, I could see that. Yeah. Like and like like you like it at first, but then you get too much of it quickly and then you regret it. I feel like that's me. See, I think your jalapeno flavor or like when something like a like a fast food restaurant goes like this is our new spicy burger and then you eat it and you go, this is not. Yeah. goes like this is our new spicy burger and then you eat it and you go this is not yeah but this thing thinks it's really spicy but this is not as spicy as it thinks that it is it's like how people

outside of texas think chipotle has spice right it's like when you went to nando's and got the spiciest chicken i would say andrew andrew's flavor would be the plate at the end of a stack of pancakes. Oh. So like maple-ish. Yeah, like syrup flavor with butter, pancake, bomb stuck to it. Definitely butter.

How do you take your pancakes, Andrew? Typically just some butter i'm not like this is like just like a slice of butter on top and just let it melt into the pancake when it's hot kind of thing yeah just a little a little bit of butter on top so you're like a dry pancake person i guess yeah well not i mean i need i need some butter on it can't be completely dry but i think that's so gross my daughter does the same same thing. It drives me nuts. It's just like, it's syrup. It's just like fucking sugar, man. Yeah, it's a moisture to

it. I don't understand. Are you like syrup? You need a lot of syrup on your pancakes? Yeah. I would say butter makes it wetter than syrup. Fruit or whatever. That's an interesting... I don't think butter makes it wetter than syrup. Why would you... No, because... The syrup's more viscous. It doesn butter makes it wetter than syrup why would you

no because it's viscous it doesn't feel as wet as opposed to like clogged i also feel like it exists i don't i don't know this could be wrong because i don't use syrup frequently i feel like syrup kind of exists on top of the pancake and doesn't integrate into the pancake like butter does it's almost like they're two separate entities that you're eating at the same time i don't think they mix syrup and a pancake i will say that a butter goes further than syrup on a pancake like if you put a pat of butter on it and then it like melts into the pancake you still you still get a lot of the butter flavor but i feel like syrup you got to constantly keep pouring it on because as soon as it dissipates

into the pancake, the flavor's lost. It disappears. Where was pancakes on your list, Jeff? On my list of what? Oh, it's not even on my list. Sorry. But now we're talking about pancakes. What type of syrup do you like, Jeff? Oh, I like Mrs. Butterworth's or Log

Cabin or whatever. Are those maple? Yeah. you like Jeff oh uh I like Mrs. Butterworth's or log cabin or like whatever I just like those maple are those maple yeah yeah okay I'll take any kind of syrup any kind of sugary syrup I don't care I'm not particular there there there to my knowledge there is no

cashew of syrup they're all at a certain they're all at a level above like this I agree nut yeah yeah there's definitely no standard for that got tons of great choices wherever you're going you better believe american express will be right there with you heading for adventure we'll help you breeze through security meeting friends a world away you can use your travel credit.

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So what's the next item on your list? Where were we at? We just did monkey. That was monkey movie, right? That was monkey movie. All right. Oh my God. That was monkey movie.

The next thing I have on my list is that we should mention that we have a very special, we're still formulating it, that we have a very special... We're still formulating it, but we have a very special livestream coming up. We have discussed it in the past. I think the audience at this point knows we're going to be selling socks individually cursed by Gavin at some point.

And so we're going to... I think on Halloween, on Halloween Day, it's a Monday, October 31st, I think the plan, on Halloween day, it's a Monday, October 31st, I think the plan is to do a live stream where Gavin curses the socks live while we do some other shenanigans and other stuff as well. And we have a really fun way to work Andrew into it

that I have been doing some research on. I'm going to try to build it here pretty soon, this contraption to include Andrew. And we're going to have a cursed socks stream. stream it looks great like everything that we've talked about it i think it's gonna be very funny some of it is covered in sausage talk which i don't know when that will come out but that will provide more insight into some of these ideas and when when does sausage talk come out i have no idea nick said it should be ready after today. I was going to say, by the time this episode comes out, it should be out right on the tail of it, I think.

We can dial that in, but it should be, again, you're listening to this episode, so it comes out next week for us recording right now. Okay, cool. Eric, can we also talk about some of the other, because we had a really good merch meeting yesterday. And can we talk about, like, the plan for some of that stuff? Or is it too early to get people's hopes up?

Shit, I say just go for it. Why not? All right. So this holds our feet to the fire. So let's do it. Here's what I'm aware of that we have coming out. Obviously, the the curse socks, I think, will go on sale in at or right after the spooky Halloween curse sock live stream that we're going

to do, uh, that I'm very excited about. I think the live stream might even be a countdown to selling the socks because obviously we don't want to sell them until Gavin curses them. Um, and then I believe our big black Friday item, uh, that I'm very, I don't know why I do know why cause it's awesome. Probably the piece of merch I'm most excited about in the history of F*** Face is the Gerbler is going to come out on October 31st. I'm sorry. Can't wait.

Black Friday. And I think we'll have a Gerbler on hand during the live stream on October 31st to show as a sample. Then on Cyber Monday, not to be outdone by the Gerbler on Black Friday, Cyber Monday, you didn't think it could be real.

You couldn't imagine that we'd actually make it. But I have it on good authority that on Cyber Monday, we will put the Switch fuck up for sale. So we actually got the Switch fuck made or it's being made as we speak. And they're going to, we're going to put it on sale cyber Monday.

I hope it doesn't fall flat on our face because I will lose a lot of a lot of capital in the company if the switch fuck isn't isn't a success because that one took a little bit of convincing to get made. Do we know how many switch fucks have been made? That'd be interesting. I have no idea. I think it was a few hundred, but I don't i don't remember understood also you mentioned the uh the grown tubes hadn't sold and i guess that turned a lot of attention to it sold out oh yeah i was told that the that maybe by the time that episode aired they'd already sold that oh no shit we're the worst we suck at that but hey we're letting people know a full we uh what does this come out the 29th that we're letting people know

two days in one day two days in advance about these baseballs so you know they haven't we haven't put them on sale as of this recording so that with that can't repeat um i think that's it there's discussion about a baseball jersey coming out at some point. I'm not really sure when that'll be. That's been kind of bounced around forever. And I think that's all we have kind of out there in the ether right now that I'm aware of. We've been trying to get that vinyl of episode 16 made for about two years now, it feels like. And that's still, I don't know, in the ether somewhere.

Am I missing anything? I don't think so. No, I think that's the bulk of it that was quite a good roundup it was not to go too deeply into self-promotion talk but i had kind of a funny thing happen relating to this show uh in a sense the other night i watched the second episode does it do which i had heard a lot about of gavin fall and the things around it. It was it was like a weekend. I think it was Saturday. It was 2 a.m.

It was very late. And I was like, you know, I'm going to finally watch this. I just hadn't seen it yet for whatever reason. And I was excited to watch. I laughed so goddamn hard at your fall, Gavin, mainly because I knew. Yeah, because I knew you were OK. Ultimately, we had talked post fall and that it was so self-inflicted it was entirely your fault and it didn't go the way you wanted at all so i had a

good i had a good laugh at it i was like man i really want to watch that impact again so i i went back and i paused right when you hit oh and i i died i died of laughter i was wheezing it's the hardest i've laughed in a long time and i didn't want to wake my partner up so i'm trying to like suppress it and i'm just i'm just like like i'm just wheezing and it's i'm so loud and i can't stop myself i i was crying there were tears coming down my face i couldn't stop and i was i'm so loud and i can't stop myself i i was crying there were tears coming down my face i couldn't stop and i was i'm so sorry i'm trying to be quiet but just from looking at this paused oh just looking i genuinely laughed without pause for probably 80 seconds i couldn't stop and then i gathered myself and you i mean just at the photo. It looks like all of your bones are escaping through like a magic trap door on the floor.

Like everything is leaving. Everything is gone. So then I unpaused it for a second and then repause it. And I got this angle. And then I just started all over again. And I couldn't. There is no muffling that. I couldn't stop laughing.

You got like an E.T. et arm you're just you're destroyed you have wrecked your body in the least entertaining way visually i've ever seen there's nothing impressive it was such you would you did so much damage and nothing about it look cool or funny and you did it yourself and that's what i think really got me it's just i need to remember that when i go to try and push someone or tackle someone all i do is bounce off it's all i've ever done my entire life i just gotta come to terms with it the next day i said i'm so sorry i probably woke you up i couldn't this i was looking again falling and uh they were like they said yeah i couldn't tell if you were laughing or crying, like, like genuinely, extremely upset.

And once I noticed that it was laughter that I was like, that's fine. But, oh, I was a mess. I, oh, it was such a good laugh. Maybe my biggest laugh of the year. Oh, I'm bummed it wasn't being recorded. Oh, it's great. It was a great time. Eric, speaking of does it do,

when do we get to make more of it? We only make two episodes. End of October. End of October. Oh my God. Yeah, I just had a conversation with someone to make sure that we have space and time in the studio. So end of October is what we're looking at.

But before the sock cursing. Before the sock cursing, yes. It'll just have to be a couple weeks into October. We can't get studio before that. So it'll probably come out episodes three through eight I think it is. We'll come out in November and December then probably.

Yeah, I would think November, December. We're kind of like round out the year with hopefully Gavin not breaking anything. But you know. I gotta say, I would think November, December kind of like round out the year with hopefully Gavin not breaking anything. But, you know, yeah, I got to say, I'm really bummed about the incredibly long break between releases. But I'm really excited about recording these next six because I think we figured a lot out in the first two episodes. And then not to get into the sausage talk, but then we had and I think we covered this in sausage talk. Even we had a really good meeting where we came up with a lot of really good ideas.

And I think we'll be a lot more prepared. And I think because of that, there'll be a lot punchier episodes three through. Yeah, I agree. Not that the first two were bad. I thought they were great, but just knowing I've been excited to see what's coming with the outline

that we have. Would you ever be in one, Andrew? Yeah, I'd be in one. I'd have to, if I was, be in one, Andrew? Yeah, I'd be in one. I'd have to, if I was in the country, yeah, I'd gladly be in one, absolutely. I think I would want to bring my own product, though.

I know that's a weird demand. I feel like I'd want to surprise you guys with something. Ooh, I like that idea. I love it. I don't know what that is yet. You won't come to America until November at the end of the year. I will not be in America until at least November. Should I be not making any plans for November? Why would you make plans for November?

Well, I'm saying if Andrew is potentially coming. I never said I'd be in America in November. I was open to being in America as of November. Weren't we all going to maybe secretly go to Vegas in November and just hang out? You were gonna originally, so there was a plan for Vegas, and then that fell through due to no fault of my own. No, no fault of yours. Then there was a discussion that you guys

would come here in November, and then there was also talks of Vegas in November as well. There have been all sorts of November talks. We should solidify something. I would like us all to breathe the same air in November if humanly possible. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. I don't think you do, because you didn't

say that you were really up for going in November. You just wouldn't go before November. I just said I like the idea, though. I just don't believe it. Previous statements? Okay. That's fine. I'm not gonna fucking try to change my beliefs to some goddamn... I don't even remember what he said. You taste that at this point. Never mind. But I'm not gonna fucking try to change my beliefs to some goddamn... I don't even remember what he said. You taste

like it at this point. Never mind. But I'm not gonna argue over that. You know, I'd like to change my answer. I don't think you're a tomato-based motherfucker. I'm not gonna go into a debate war with... I think he tastes like prawns, Gavin. Oh. Really? Maybe like cocktail sauce. Yeah.

Mmm. But he calls it something else, maybe. Like a cocktail sauce that isn't called a cocktail sauce yeah mmm but he calls it something else maybe like a cocktail sauce that isn't a called a cocktail sauce but actually is just a cocktail sauce interesting potentially okay I like cocktail sauce you definitely taste like a

condiment though tots I don't know why we need to ruin today with that talk uh the next thing i have on my list if we want to keep keep the ball rolling because we're running is uh moving along uh i have a uh i have right here uh this is i think a teeing up you gavin i just have er Hippocrite written down, and I don't know why

it's just held over from last time you were going to play a video audio or something. Oh, yeah. I didn't get that audio yet. Great. Great work.

Eric Hippocrite. Great work. All right. Well, we'll push Eric Hippocrite till episode 104, I guess. It would involve listening to Face Jam, which I haven't brought myself

to be able to do yet. Right on. Thanks, man. I will say... We can just confront him based on the comments. Okay. This is your show, man. You're running this. Maybe Eric can pluck out what he was talking about. A lot of people in the comments, Eric,

saying that you pretty much went down the route of extra medium under sort of different wording. In a range of days in a month, yeah. In a range of days, there's a beginning, there's a middle, and there's an end, and you have a range within them. Gavin, when you go to store.roosterteeth.com and you click on a random shirt, here's one, Easy Allies, weakling t-shirt on the front page.

Just scroll down. Oh, they have extra small, small, medium. They have all the sizes up to 4X. Incredible. That's great. Oh, I wonder what sizes they are. Oh, looking here, there's one number here for medium. Okay.

That's interesting. So it's not a range. So it is just a single number, and in order for something to be a range, like a range of days, there would have to be multiple days to choose from. But what I'm looking at is just a single number that says chess 20 inches. I mean, there's range within an inch. You're saying that what you asked me for when you asked for an extra medium was getting down to quarter inches? If there's no

range, Eric, then extra medium would be 20. No, that's medium. You got me large! That's the problem! You brought large! Yeah, because you wanted something bigger than medium. So what were you saying about the dates? So, the beginning of the month

is like the 1st to the 10th. The middle of the month is like the 11th to the 20th. And the end of the month is like the 21st through the 30th to the 31st. However, that sort of ranges out because there's a range of dates there.

And the 15th would be medium 20 inches. Medium 20 inches. One number. Looking at one number here. That's just our store. There has been ranges within medium. There has been ranges within medium.

Well, that's what Tony said. There has been ranges within medium when I'm on our store. But what you've proven with the date thing is that at a deep level, at core level you understand the concept of extra medium no no i understand the concept of ranges yeah and what you're expressing is not the most medium which doesn't exist because it's not a range what you've what you've asked for it's a size is this the fifth time we've had this argument? I think it's...

I'm not having the argument. I'm just, I'm simply stating a fact and you're arguing. And so, I mean, that's just sort of how it goes. It's really incredible how many people have come out. It's great.

I was talking to Jeff about this the other night at dinner. Oh yeah, let's talk about this dinner. We'll get into it next episode. There you go. The, the thing, the thing I really like is the hubris of people making topics going,

I'm here to settle the debate. And then they have an opinion and then it's 88 comments of people. The one, the idea, the idea that they're sitting at home going, guys, I've got just the thing that's going to get everyone on the same page, and it doesn't buy a mind.

I think that's been my favorite part of the whole thing. That and being right have been my favorite parts of the whole thing. Can I ask you a hard-hitting question, Gavin? Yeah. What does extra medium taste like? Pepper. I think it tastes like salt. Somewhere between salt, pepper, and bullshit.

One of those three things. Could this episode be salt, pepper and bullshit? You got it. I am so mystified that Extra Medium has had the life that it's had. Like, we were discussing this the other day. It feels like next to the comment lever versus regulation listener discussion probably the most discussed thing in the history of face at this point yeah yeah and we talk about that in uh sausage talk oh yeah i guess we do well

it's continued it's gotten even like crazier and i still i like you know you want to find like funny ways to to turn the bit into i don't know i don't know some silly piece of merch or like some way to to to to elevate this but i for the life of me can't figure out how to turn extra medium into something that people would want to own well i don't think we have to yeah i don't think we have i guess we won't then yeah i mean it's in the store now. I guess that, I guess they're getting every time, every time they buy

an extra medium shirt, they're buying an extra medium shirt. Yeah. And I think on the, on the actual shirt

will be printed that way eventually. That's, yeah, we should make sure that happens. Insane. Insane.

I have a travel story. Hold on a second. I'm taking Eric Hypocrite off. Is that right? Thanks, man. Yeah, you can go ahead and erase that. Thanks, boss. What's your travel story. Hold on a second. I'm taking Eric hypocrite off. Is that right? Thanks, man. Yeah. You can go ahead and erase that.

Okay. What's your travel story? Yeah. Is your list done? Yeah. Well, I mean, I got,

I just have pastrami, but we can get into that. Whatever. Oh no, that's way more important. No, yeah. No,

no, no, no. We'll end on pastrami. Tell your travel story. Okay. All right. I was in the airport,

little family vacation, talking grandparents, siblings, cousins, the lot. Got everyone going, back to where we're all from in Italy. And we're just waiting to board the plane, and someone is talking. I'm not going to mention who this is.

I don't want to say exactly who is responsible for this story. Someone in my family talking to me about House of the Dragon. Oh, yeah, it's pretty good. They were like, oh, yeah, I really like the main guy. I was like, oh yeah, Paddy Considine. I like that guy. He's been a lot of stuff. He's been in like Bourne Ultimatum and Great and Hot Fuzz is one of the Andes.

The World's End. All that. All the Edgar Wright stuff. I shit you not, almost 30 seconds after I just said that, Edgar Wright, the director of Hot Fuzz and The World's End and Shaun of the Dead and all that good stuff that I love, just strolled through the little boarding area for this flight and sat down. And I was like, Jesus Christ. I was like, oh, God, that's freaking Edgar Wright. That's amazing.

And I didn't want to go up to him and say hi or anything because, you know, he's traveling. He's probably working. Didn't want to be weird and annoying. Were you in America, England or Italy at this time? This was in England. Okay. This was a Heathrow airport. All right.

Thanks. Sorry. I just didn't. I don't want to make a fool of myself. But I was kind of amazed that that just happened. And then I kept getting put in situations where I ended up like right next to him. And I was like, oh, this should be a great opportunity to be like, oh, you know, big fan and all that. I even worked on Hot Fuzz for a day.

Could have said that. He's used Phantoms. I use Phantoms. I'm sure we could have had a decent conversation, but I didn't want to do it. The family member, one of the family members I was with is potty training their kid. And they're trying to get him to go to the bog in real bogs and not piss a nappy. So they've got this little travel potty thing

that folds out on the floor. And for the last hour, they're trying to get him to pee in this thing, trying to sneak him into a corner, but he just wouldn't go in it. And then right as we boarded the plane, he was able to successfully pee in this little potty. Got on the plane.

I was probably in row like 14 or something. Edgar went further back. He sort of sat around the area with my family back there. We get off the plane, and I end up right next to Edgar Wright again. We get bussed to the airport we were going to. I don't want to say the exact airport, because I don't really want to dox his trip. But we're on the bus. He was a little bit behind me. And then the doors to the

bus opened, except my door got stuck shut. So he was in the line of people going out the door that opened. And by the time he got to me, I'd just been letting people off because I couldn't get through my broken door. And he got to me and was like, oh yeah, you go next. You've been waiting ages. I was like, oh, he's a really nice guy. That's great. I really want to talk to him. I didn't do it. And then I met up with my family member who has a kid who said had an absolute nightmare

on the plane. Absolute nightmare. I was like, oh, I'm laughing. They're like, well, we got the kid to pee in the potty, but we didn't have time to empty it. And it was like this little sealed plastic potty that you can like strap shut. And they were like

oh, we're on the plane and realized that pressure has a huge impact on sealed containers. They put it in the overhead bin and all the piss had shot out the potty and slid all the way down the overhead bin

and was dripping on basically one entire side of the plane in the back of the plane. And I was like, oh shit. I'm sorry. Did you, did he piss on Edgar Wright's head? Apparently a bunch of people was landing on their backs. Oh no. But I couldn't get them to i they

didn't really notice edgar i or know what he looked like so i don't know there's a very uh there's a very high possibility that one of my family members two-year-old family members is pissed on edgar right's head i really hope he wasn't sat below that because i think by the sounds of it went on about five different people's shoulders. And, uh, if Edgar, if you're listening, I hope that I hope you knew nothing of that. Um, and I'm a big fan. Sorry if that happened on behalf of my family. And it just goes to show we are, this podcast cannot it. We can't do anything with movie directors That's director number two that potentially in our bad book Then we travel we got in a cab and we're traveling up this

Mountain path where we were going is basically on the top of, it's like hundreds of feet above sea level. And I'm sat in the little minicab. And all I hear coming from the back seat is, and I'm like yelling to the family member again. I'm like, by the way, after all this piss exploded at the top of the plane, did you empty it? And I'm like, well, way, after all this piss exploded at the top of the plane, did you empty it? And I'm like,

well, you know, it mostly got emptied. What's wrong with your family? What is wrong? It was still spewing out in the back of the minicab all over all the luggage

as we were like slowly driving up. It was going like like spurred. I was like, get this piss out of here. Get the pee away from us. What are they doing?

In that toilet, that little mini potty got pressurized twice. Damn it, I read this respectfully. Those people suck. They stink. What are they doing? I didn't, like, I understand. They didn't have kids. No, if your kid pisses in his party, they're party training.

If he's going to the party and they don't have time to empty it and they're boarding a plane, what are you gonna do? Oh, yeah, are there no fucking toilets on the plane? I think what they assume to do is that we'll get this plane in the air and then dump the pee out. No, you don't. There's no way. You tell somebody. Everybody is okay with you emptying the piss fucking toilet thing. You just say, hey, this is

filled with pee. Can I drain this real quick? It's crazy. As someone who successfully potty trained a kid, in this case my daughter, I can confidently say I never got her piss or shit on anyone like that. I got to go with Andrew that your family, who I love dearly, especially your grandparents and your mom. I think I just I think the world of them.

But the rest of your family, if it wasn't those three are disgusting. Just the only when it started dripping dripping on everyone everyone was like making a first and like getting up and then the flight attendant came over and was like uh whose container is this and my family member was like oh that's ours has it opened and and uh the flight was like yep what's in it and my family member was like you're not gonna like this but it's piss apparently they just walked off to get cloths and i think uh half my family was dying from embarrassment oh my god i couldn't believe that like i don't know what i would have done if i was in that position. I think I would have just had to curl up.

I couldn't handle that level of embarrassment. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I don't understand. There's so many things. I don't. It's not even that those family members are gross. They're just completely incompetent. I don't understand any of the choices.

Dictionary definition of inept. Yes. Just like the icing on the cake is that they still carried the piss around with them to the cab. That's what I get. No point. Do you like get this thing as far the fuck away from me and my family as possible? I would put so much distance between myself and that child toilet. Like, oh, my God, dude.

That would be like, all right, well, lesson learned here. This is not a travel tool. It's great at sea level. You know what? No, you're right. You're right, Jeff. This has changed my opinion.

First time, incompetence. The second time, psychotic. Psychotic. This is alarming. I don't think they expected it to happen on the ground. They didn't expect it to happen once once it's already happened when you didn't expect it it's all rules go out the window you can no longer trust your read on the situation i think you are an incredibly decent human being uh one of the best uh in my life and i think you must have sapped all of that out of your family like you must have taken all the good,

conscientious, polite, all of that element of your British society. You got it all and you just, you left them with just like American ethics and morals.

Oh man. And I would say, I would say Edgar Wright is my favorite director. I wouldn't say that right now if I were you. After your family just pissed all over him. I really hope it didn't go on him.

I need to know. You know what my favorite part of that story is? I am no longer the definitive piss boy of this podcast. That is, the title has been claimed. That's gone. That's done for me. I can't have that. Yeah. He's right. That two-year-old has that that's that's off my record now it's a great day for me congratulations thank you i will say i was

gonna mention this earlier when i asked you what country you were in at the time because I thought it was... But then the story just kept going and kept going and kept going. But I will say there's a... Because Edgar Wright is British. You're British, right? Yeah. And this happened in England. Irrespective of your family dousing Edgar Wright in urine.

We should test this next time you or we are in England. You might have, like, on home soil, you might have enough, like, gravitas or success or whatever it is. You might be able to summon certain celebrities to you. This could be a skill you have. There's nothing I want more in the world than to be in a place with Gavin and Edgar Wright

and to be able to reveal that, hey, remember that time you got pissed on on that plane? He's kind of responsible. to be in a place with Gavin and Edgar Wright and to be able to reveal that, hey, remember that time you got pissed on on that plane? He's kind of responsible. This guy right here. Do you know anybody who knows Edgar Wright? Like, does Buckley or anybody know Edgar Wright that could find out? Hey, did you get pissed on on a plane recently?

No, I mean, DM him, I'm sure. Yeah, do that. Hey, I'm wondering if a member of my family may have peed on you recently oh please please we need to know we need definitive answers an attempt needs to be made oh i i could not have been more embarrassed through blood it was i just because as because as I was being told the story, I was like, oh no, and then I was just like, oh no. Oh, God.

Oh, that's so good. Was Meg around for this? She was sat with me. She heard about the story afterwards. I would love to. I got to go to dinner with y'all soon so I can hear her side of this oh man i bet her her insights are gonna be fantastic i can't wait oh i'm tired after listening to that story um that wore me out i'm so happy gavin that's oh my god you guys realize this is gonna be the next we've already i think

identified it but this will be season two of face animated, right? Regulation animation. Oh, absolutely. A hundred percent peeing out Edgar, right? It was hearing the story because I had the story in the airport and we're all

sort of still in the airport and I was still weighing up like, am I going to have, am I going to like work up the confidence to just say hi to Edgar, right? And after I had that story, I was like, I'm going to let Edgar Wright leave and I hope we don't cross paths

in this way ever again. Oh, that is brilliant. That might be the best story ever told on this podcast, Gavin. That was a great story. I don't think it was the best, but it was significant. I don't know, dude.

It's up there for sure. I agree with Nick. It's up there. I had just put, for about five's up there for sure. I agree with Nick. It's up there. I was, I had just put at about for about five solid minutes. I just had to have my, I just put my head down on my table and just giggled into my arms and was useless. I couldn't do anything but laugh uncontrollably. Oh, I'll be honest.

I'm excited. I don't want to tell. I'm sorry. What are you excited about, Andrew? I was just going to say, I'm excited because I feel like we're all happy right now. And based off of what you said, the next episode is going to be very contentious. So I'm trying to live in this moment. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe we should live in the revel in this moment. What I was going to say is I'll be honest. I think my pastrami story is going to be a huge letdown after that. So I don't really know what I'm telling it. That was kind of mean, Gavin. You should have closed with that. You should have let...

He tried. I figured next time would be all about the food challenge. That's fair. Do we want to do pastrami to open? I'll open. We'll open with pastrami. It's a non-event. I mean, next to that.

I'm excited. I have questions. I feel like this opens all sorts of doors for you food-wise. I need information. Thank you for listening to another episode. Probably what's going to go down as one of my favorites of all time because of the last 12 minutes or so. Episode of F*** Face.

Really appreciate the support. If you're going to pee in public, do it in a toilet. And if you do it in a toilet, don't put that toilet above your head. And go ahead and rate and review if you feel like it. Keep your urine to yourself. Thanks. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.

Jeff revisits the P word. Let's get specific on letter food rules. G for Gavin. Penn gets incredibly lucky. Jeff is incredibly unlucky. Is there any way to play Halo co-op? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.