Regulation Podcast - Why Andrew deserves a cock // Dog Handles [171]

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew use the term Zazzle and talk about different oven uses, the Panton collection, Don Zimmer, summer of 98, time zones, boating around the world, the danger of national parks, building a human out of food named after human body parts, whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable, natural handles for dogs, and Andrew gives a powerpoint presentation on why he deserves a cock. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/50face use code 50face, and BetterHelp (go to http://betterhelp.com/face to get 10% off your first month). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

this will be episode 171 in 170 we talked about eggs for andrew we talked about ketchup we talked about sports not sports names talked about andrew's sleep struggles we talked about chicken musings uh we talked about jeff's supplemental idea we talked about Sinead O'Connor and Stevie Nicks, but we had a lot of talk about potato smileys. So that was all last time. That was 170. Now we're on 171. Sounds like a real zazzler of a show. Definitely zazzled. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. I checked with me as always we got Andrew Panton we got Gavin Free that's not it we also have Nick and Eric and Gracie

as well they're out there in the ether somewhere listening in this is episode 171 Andrew already promised it's going to be a Zazzle of an episode let me hit you with the first potato fact of the day did you know that in the 13th century in the Andes,

the Incans used potatoes as currency? I didn't know that. Now you do. Wow. All right, share your potato facts. So like if you, if you robbed a bag of chips, that'd be like robbing a bank, essentially.

That's like a duffel bag of money. 100%. Interesting. I don't want to step on anybody else's potato facts because I'm sure you guys have them ready to fire. I sure do. But an interesting second potato fact that I read today is that nobody knows

how potato chips were invented. Not really. There's a lot of rumors, but there's no actual concrete evidence. They just exist. I heard that the reason why the Mayans stopped the calendar is because somebody stole a bag of potato chips from the area they all you know what dude you know and that was the last anyone had ever seen it andrew i've got some supporting evidence for that actually now that you mention it uh i wasn't talking about the mines i was talking about the inkens but they said at

the time potatoes held a lot of value because aside from being a great food source they were also used for medical treatments and possibly to predict the weather and to measure time. Really? Like a clock or like long? Potato clock. Yeah, I guess. Huh. Yeah.

Maybe they would measure like how long until they went bad or something. And then like when a potato went bad, they knew it was like it'd been a week or something. I don't know. Who knows? Those mysterious Incans. But yeah. I'll meet you when a potato went bad they knew it was like it'd been a week or something i don't know who knows those mysterious inkens but yeah i'll meet you when the potato's green that's what makes total sense well hey gavin welcome back oh thanks are you here yeah yeah are you sure you're here? Oh, big time. Is all of you here? Do you have anything to contribute?

Here's what was going to happen. I thought I was going to be asked for a potato fact, so I lent down to grab a tot, because I'm munching on some tots here. And my fact was going to be, this is what a tot sounds like. Is that a fact? Then you said something about being back,

and I was like, oh, I've got a tot in my mouth now. I mean, you can do that as your fact, I guess. I don't... Yeah, okay. Here's my fact. This is what a tot sounds like. Great. Good job.

Yeah, could not hear it. Killed it. Fantastic. It never... Sound never comes through for you, so... But I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's a Discord issue. I'm sure it sounds great in Audacity or whatever you use. Jeff, what did you think of the Smile Fries? Oh, I haven sure it's fine. I'm sure it's a discord issue. I'm sure it sounds great in audacity or whatever.

Jeff, what did you think of the smile fries? Oh, I haven't had them yet. Oh, there was so much excitement around the smile fries. Can I be honest with you? Yeah, of course. I forgot about them the second after we stopped recording. They're in my freezer still. I'll try to cook them tonight.

I got, well, I got, I got some, I got some work I gotta do tonight. I'll try to cook them tomorrow. I don't believe you. You don't believe that they're in the frit? They're in my freezer? Yeah, I think smile fries is going to go a while. I think it'll be probably, I. I'll try to cook them tomorrow. I don't believe you. You don't believe that they're in the fridge? They're in my freezer? Yeah, I think Smile Fries is gonna go a while. I think it'll be probably... I'm gonna say three weeks from now,

you have some Smile Fries. That's, uh... Because as soon as we stop recording, Smile Fries is going out of your brain. No, yeah, I'm not gonna remember them. 100%. Yeah. As soon as I take my headphones off,

they don't exist. Nick wants me to drop... You know what? I'm tempted to, Nick, but I'm having some. I don't want to say it. No. I'm just having some oven issues right now. What's wrong with your oven?

You're not. What do you mean? I turned my oven on the other day, and the house, I smelled some gas, so I turned it back off. I haven't had a chance to. Oh, no. I haven't had a chance to look into it yet. So you just haven't used your oven? No, no, I've been using,

I can use my stovetop, no issues there, but when I turn the oven on, yeah, I noticed it was getting pretty pronounced. So you have a gas leak, but only to the oven? Yeah, and only if I turn it on. Yeah, plus I got an air fryer. And listen, I got windows to fix. I got a wedding.

I don't have time for oven problems, so I'm just not going to use my oven for a while the oven doesn't exist it exists just not not well it essentially doesn't yeah andrew how far do you use your oven oh quite a bit throwing pizzas in there throwing uh pizzas in there. Throwing pizzas in there. So what's ever stopped you from getting a little pizza oven in the old bedroom there? It's too big. Oh, the pizza? No, a pizza oven isn't too big. I have a microwave I think would go ahead of a pizza oven. Are you sure?

What do you microwave? Hot pockets. Hot pockets, I guess. A popcorn popcorn what do you eat more popcorn or pizza a pizza for sure 100 pizza yeah so i would pick up one of these puppies for 50 dollars wow what's that it's the carnival king uh cpo 12 stainless steel countertop pizza snack oven. 120 volts, 1450 watts. You can pick it up for $59.99. That's a pretty good deal. 1450 watts.

Damn. And it specializes in pizza? Yeah, it's all it does. Well, I mean, look at the shape of it. What else are you cooking in there? I bet you could roll out a Hot Pocket and put it in there. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I mean, anything. Fries? I could probably cook some you cooking in there? I bet you could roll out a hot pocket and put it in there. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I mean anything. Fries? I could probably

cook some smile fries in there, I assume. In there? Yeah, why not? You know how sometimes when you pull something out of your pocket, like I got a new phone case for my phone because it's disintegrating and now it's kind of rubber so now when I pull it out of my pocket, my pocket comes out inside out. Do you think anybody's

ever tried to cook a Hot Pocket inside out? Oh, well, like put a phone in it first and then pull the phone out? Yeah, and then pull the phone out. Like invert a Hot Pocket? I don't know. Like so many pants pockets. Has anyone ever needed a Hot Pocket?

What do you mean? Oh, like a literal Hot Pocket. All the time. To keep food warm in your pocket. I swear to God, if you put my face in your pocket we're done why would i put your face in it because the last time this happened you had a cold face and then the pant line happened oh what was the response they went on sale

do you want can i talk about that can i can i take us on a little bit of a journey yeah i have something to share and it's a little bit of a journey? Oh, yeah. I have something to share, and it's a little embarrassing, but I feel like that's the best place to share that type of info is this show. So I've been doing Rooster Teeth stuff for a while, as you know, and one of my favorite things the company does, I think this is a really great event they do. At the end of every year, they do

a big ceremony. Everyone gets together and they give out these big cock trophies to people that have done exceptional work. And it's not like a competitive thing. It's like, ah, you've done really good this year. Here's an acknowledgement of your tough work.

I just think that's nice. I've never won one. I assume, have you guys won one? I wouldn't be shocked if most of the people here have won one of these cock trophies. Cock trophy? Yeah, they give them out at the end of the year. I've never seen one. I've won a Rooster Teeth Excellence Award at the end of the year or whatever.

I don't think it was called a cock trophy. Well, they have cock on them, don't they? Don't they say cock? Hold on, let me look. It's in my office. I'm pretty sure it's a cock trophy. It's the Cock Bite Award.

I haven't... Yeah, exactly. I haven't won one. Blaine has and he broke it. So that's why I know what it is. I won one in 2018 and I don't think we call it that anymore. Wow, man. Congratulations, dude. That's really cool.

That's awesome. Five years ago, I won one. I don't think they call it the Cockbite Trophy anymore, though. No, not anymore. Well, what about the... Okay, well, we rebranded, and we got rid of the teeth. I thought we were all cock now. Still called Rooster Teeth, though.

This is not... I don't like this. I thought Eric doesn't like this. It's just the rooster. This is the opposite of a Zazzle conversation. Yeah, what? I don't like. What are you driving at, I suppose?

I'm getting here, okay? Just give me a minute. I'm getting to. I've always wanted. Every year, there's a part of me, and this is the embarrassing part. Every year, I think, maybe I'll win one of these cock trophies. That keeps me. People are really excited about them I'll win one of these cock trophies. That keeps me really excited about them. They're proud

of it. They look great. And it's just a nice little gesture. They rotate them out. I've never won one. I don't think I even technically can win one. What would you win one for? Just excellence in my field. I feel. Yeah. Just general good vibes.

Bringer of good vibes maybe. all sorts of options I could win. But anyway, I decided I want to make more of an initiative to try to win one of these things because the year is almost over. We're getting close to like it's you got to pick up the slack. September's right around the corner. So I decided to attend an all hands meeting because I thought that put my hands in the mix showing I'm a real company guy group effort. I'm going to attend an all-hands meeting because i thought that putting my hands in the mix showing i'm a real company guy group effort i'm gonna attend one i looked i think i've been invited to around 85 all-hands meetings wow at my time being here so if i attended this one which i did i would uh it would it would be my first the first all-hands i've skipped every alliance for

people that don't know the all-hands meeting is like a company-wide meeting. Yeah, you're not supposed to skip it. Yeah, you're not supposed to. Well, no one's ever said that. Yeah. Well, I mean, the all-hands kind of implies all-hands on board. I'll put this in your review. It's fine.

That's great. It's how we disseminate important information. Well, what's important to note in the review, Eric, is I attended one. I finally made one. Missed 85 of them prior. And I gotta say, I don't feel like I was missing much necessarily

from what I saw, but there's important updates for people that are talking about things. It's nice. We're going through different sections. We go through business stuff, and then there's some other stuff. And then we get to the merch,

and the merch is a fun one we love the people in merch they're great and the guy opens the merch thing he's dressed as a pumpkin it's really it's like the energy's really picking up in this stream this is great and he's going through the guy in the meeting was a pumpkin it was Jeff Yatter

he dresses up for every all hands this would all make sense to you if you were there Gavin I didn't know he dresses up for every all-hands. This would all make sense to you if you were there, Gavin. Yeah. Well, I would know. I didn't know he dressed up for every one. That's interesting. Oh, yeah. 100%. So he's dressed up and he's going through. Did anyone else go to the last all-hands? Of course. Jeff was there. You were

there? Okay, well, then you might know where this is going. I'm there every goddamn all-hands because I'm supposed to be. No wonder you won a trophy five years ago. Look at that. Exactly. That's a great record by you. So I'm there every goddamn All Hands because I'm supposed to be. No wonder you won a trophy five years ago. Look at that. Exactly. That's a great record by you. So I'm watching this thing, and it goes to the merch category.

And they say, oh, it's the Halloween. We're looking at everyone's Halloween merch. So they're going through different brands. They show and they got some stuff. I guess I shouldn't spoil it. I think they're going to release it. No, you definitely should. Please do not spoil it. friends are gonna release it please do not spoil

but there's different brands you see ghosts and pumpkins and all that all the Halloween stuff you would expect and they're going through it and I'm like oh that's nice I like Halloween this is fantastic and then he says and last but not least faces Halloween

stuff Gavin are you have you seen our halloween merch no are you aware of the fact that we have halloween merch i wasn't you weren't yeah neither was i so i'm watching this and i'm like oh what's this i didn't know we're doing halloween stuff he says and last but not least faces halloween merch the panton collection They fucking put me in the Halloween category. That fuck. That was so that's such an attack. I'm shocked by this.

That's bullshit because it's just meant for everyday cold face use without being intimidating. So what happened there is he was making a joke. It's obviously not a part of the Halloween collection. He was just being silly because it's a mask and people wear masks at Halloween. Oh. Kind of like all the pictures that Eric is putting up in the chat.

Okay, before you throw this down the whole jet, they bring up the pant collection. When you're in one of these all hands, there's a chat that people can write into that pops up on the screen. And everyone's going, oh, the monstrosity. Oh, look at this horrendous face. at the burn this should burn this is a terrible thing and i'm

watching this go jesus christ this is my first all hands i've missed 85 of these i got the whole company shitting on me like it is it is a monstrosity but but technically speaking, it's still just a photo of my face and all these people. Frankenstein. We got Frankenstein on sale over here. Listen, Frankenstein, I think you have a lovely face, but if I, and you know who else has a lovely face? Gavin. Gavin has

a lovely face, but if we made a mask, a balaclava of Gavin and wore it, it would be hideous and disgusting, and people would throw rocks at him it's just when you when you stretch a face over your face it's shocking watching people's lips come through like some people you can see you can tell that the mask is really tight and the lips are just bulging and i think my favorite part is if there's any facial hair on the real like above the real lips it's very obvious because the facial hair

ends on the mask and becomes like skin and then goes back to being a real it's still it's essentially it's the claim my face belongs in a Halloween town is how I took it it was very fun just the idea that all this is Halloween merch and then

August 25th the last part of the Halloween collection. Me. Well. Andrew Panton. Let me say this. Let me say this, Andrew, if this helps. Success is the best revenge.

And your Andrew Panton collection sold out in about 45 minutes. And I don't think any of those other collections will sell out. I personally think that we need to be more discerning about who's coming to the all-hands meeting. That's all. You think I'll not get invited? You're going to go, we're going to look into revoking some invitations? Yeah, I just think like, you know, you got to like, if they're not coming anyway, you know, just weed them out. Well, listen, I showed up. Get the invite.

I showed up. I didn't anticipate a company roasting. Look, if we shit on andrew pantin every all hands i'll be there okay that's what it takes for you to be there that's amazing yeah if we did we just had a little section at the end the segment ended gavin with with jeff was wearing this pumpkin mask other jeff not other jeff jeff je Jeff was wearing a pumpkin mask and he took it off to reveal. He was wearing my face mask and yelled, he should return to the pits of hell where he came from. That's me.

That's just me. That's just, I'm a person. Now here's the thing. If you look at the images that I've posted, no, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that you need to go to hell,

but I will say that if you're wearing this mask, maybe hell ain't a bad place to be. You're not wrong, and I get it, but I think from the experience I took away, maybe the all hands aren't for me.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be here. Well, if you were troubled by that one, you would have hated the previous 85 because they went easy on you this month with that being said i still want to win one of these cock awards that i've been seeing for years maybe you'll make it in uh when do they do it december i have nick nominate you yeah do you know how that works if your producer thinks you do a really really good job, he or she can nominate you. Well, okay, well I'm glad that we're here and this is a public platform. I know some people at the company watch this show.

So I made a little presentation on why I deserve to win one of these cock awards that I'd love to share with you guys. We still haven't even gotten your potato fact. We're really getting deep-dived. Yeah, well I'll just share my entire screen, I guess because why not? Oh, sweet. We still haven't even gotten your potato fact. We're really getting deep dived. Yeah. Well, I'll just share my entire screen, I guess, because why not?

Oh, sweet. I think that cock award is in your pocket for 2023. I'm feeling good about this cock award. You're still using the browser version? Of course. I always use the browser version. Are we all good? Why Andrew deserves a cock. Why Andrew...

That's loading why andrew deserves a cock a humble but factual presentation okay i'm compiling this i think i make some persuasive there's around 10 points in this i feel pretty persuasive first point i have hands not a requirement i just wanted to clarify due to my lack of all hands appearances. Those are not my hands. Those are just hands. Those aren't just hands. Those are giant thumb hands.

Those aren't just hands. Well, we talked about long thumbs in the past. I felt it was a comfortable time to put some long thumbs in there. And I mainly just want to say, hey, I know I haven't had my hands in the huddle, but I do have hands. I'm willing to help. I'm a team guy. I'm a company guy. That left hand has a cocaine fingernail.

Does it? Oh, yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah. Point number two. No priors. As you can see, my criminal record to the right. Zero child kickings reported. Didn't do nothing. Looking at my criminal record, there's nothing there. It's blankings reported didn't do nothing looking at my criminal record

there's nothing there it's blank i didn't do anything i'm an innocent honorable man i've done nothing wrong you and i think that's important to show wait you didn't you think that you should win an award because you didn't do nothing criminal wise? Well, just I'm saying I'm a good representative. Okay, there's no stuff in my past or background. No skeletons in his closet. Exactly. It's clean. Now Raymond Sommaire don't look into that. Whoa, Johnny

Caviar. Oh boy. Oh boy. But he's not trying to win a cock award. This is Peter Pan trying to win a cock award. Point number three. I subscribed to GameJ. Pant trying to win a cock award. Point number three. I subscribed to GameKids. I supported this company in a way few did.

I was there on the front lines. I went to the fucking panel at RTX. I showed up. I supported. Hands on deck, as some may say. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. This may have been a successful brand if there were more people like me.

Point number four. I am an honorable man. I never subscribed to Game Kids, but it's pretty cool that I admitted that. I didn't have to. You all would have just assumed that was true. Oh, yeah. We couldn't verify that. Yeah. Yeah, but I know. You wouldn't know that. I'm an

honorable man. I should have. It was a mistake by me. No disrespect to you, Jeff, the channel and all that. I know. Listen, it was great. I enjoyed it for what it was. Hey, it served its purpose at the time.

It did. It was great. Point number five. Look at that. Who do you see there? Jerry West. Jerry West, NBA logo. Everybody knows he's Who do you see there? Jerry West. Jerry West. NBA logo.

Everybody knows he's won lots of awards. Recognized. Respected. On the Griff Ball logo. Prove that I'm not. Aren't I the Griff Ball logo? You're arguing this in the only place where the actual person from the Griff Ball logo could be. Yeah.

Isn't that me? No, he's Griff. He's Griff. That's not Griff. That's the Griffball logo could be. Yeah, I don't know. Isn't that me? He's Griff. That's not Griff. That's the Griffball logo. What do you mean that's not Griff? What you just showed was an example of the guy who was the logo and now you're showing us the logo with the guy who is the logo in this call and you're going, nah, that's not him.

Well, wait. That's like you get in a conference call with jay west like prove that's you yeah no no it's getting in a conference call with jerry west it's saying prove that's not me like jeff is here right now every other place on the earth would be a better place to make that point. Right now. I think it's salient, so we'll just agree to disagree. I will say, in your defense, you were the best griffball runner in the world for a brief time.

For a brief time? Yeah. Brief time. It used to be me, and then I met you, and I had to retire. Well, when you say you're the one that was there before me, the bar is a lot lower. I get what you're doing, but I feel like that really chopped the legs out of the brief time that I was number one.

Chop Griff's legs off, please. No. Point six. I didn't publicly make fun of the rebrand. A lot of people got jokes off, but not me. A lot of people got jokes off, but not me. A lot of people saying things about Red Rooster. Not sure what it is you think you're doing now,

but all right, great. No, I'm just saying I did not. I think Jeff asked me how I feel about it. I don't... Yeah, exactly. Ask me how I feel about it. Arms distance on this one, bud. Ask me how I feel about it. Anyone.

How does this get you closer to the cock? I think this is, I think it's a great logo that makes me, it makes me excited and happy to watch content. Okay. Awesome.

Still honorable. I did tweet one joke about it, but that was a tweet. Twitter doesn't technically exist anymore, so I don't think that this actually counts. Okay, so you didn't make any jokes about it except for the one joke you made about it but that was a tweet twitter doesn't technically exist anymore so i don't think that this actually okay so you didn't make any jokes about it except for the one joke you made about it and also what you're currently doing right now okay no but that was a tweet and as i said tweets don't exist anymore so i think i get a pass on this i appreciate your honesty to the company still honorable it's really important. Number eight.

Paid for shipping from the store. It's, it's, shipping costs a lot. I'm in Canada. Things cost money. First off, you idiot.

Any one of us would have sent that to you for free. Yeah, and that just, you're just paying a shipping company. Yeah,

but I'm just saying, like, that's how much I love. Like, Rooster Teeth, it's like, people, people,

by the way, people think that Rooster Teeth is like, taking all the shipping money and keeping it. It goes to handle shipping and handling. No, my point is that that's how dedicated I am to our show and this company, that I would pay the shipping in Canada as a Canadian. It doesn't do anything for us. That's the definition of working. The selling of a button?

Here's where, I wish you hadn't put number eight in. If you would promise to the DHL all hands they'd be really happy with it. FedEx is gonna FedEx is gonna promote you to MVP of the year. UPS all hands is still roasting Andrew. They're wearing his mask and making fun of him.

I'd rather you work smarter than harder and just say hey I really want to support us with a sound button. Can I have can you work smarter than harder and just say, Hey, I really want to support us with a sound button. Can I have, can you send me one? I, since I helped invent it and absolutely we would send it to you.

Well, yeah, it's not that I don't think you've sent it. I just, I like to listen, especially at this time I was buying all the merch cause I wanted to, cause I'd never been part of a show and I was excited about it. You know what,

Andrew, here's what I'm going to say to that. I'm going to walk my criticism show and I was excited about it. You know what, Andrew? Here's what I'm going to say to that. I'm going to walk my criticism back because sitting here thinking about it, I buy stuff from the Rooster Teeth store all the time as well. Yeah. I mean, I'm not in Canada,

so it's way cheaper to get it. That's what I'm saying. But I do buy stuff and pay full U.S. shipping probably once a month. To be clear, I'm not saying it's their fault the shipping is the way it is. I'm in Canada. It's far away.

My point is that's how determined I am to support the show. I'll pay for shipping prices for a thing that I work for. That's the intent of it. Number eight. Number nine. This would be the first legitimate trophy win for F*** Face. I think it looks pretty good. I think that looks pretty beautiful to me. Is it an alleged scam like

other award shows? I'm not saying other award shows were a scam. It's an alleged thing. I feel like we gave a company money to give us a silver award and say we're second. And we didn't get a trophy

for it, but... This is a FIBA dream. It's an alleged scam. And this is our first legitimate win. I don't think we've won, in my opinion, a legitimate trophy.

F*** face, I could be wrong about that. No, I don't think we've won, in my opinion, a legitimate trophy as F*** Face. I could be wrong about that. No, I don't think we have. We got a silver place medal along with 87 other sites. Can a show win an employee award, though? Well, I would win it because of my presence on the

show, because it's the only thing I do here, so I feel like it would be a F*** Face award. I agree. I think he's an emissary of the of the production and which is why he won. The lack of child kickings is important. I'm representing Sarah. Eric, is he closer to the nomination in your opinion? Not not with fact, not after fact nine.

That could be any of us. That's that's saying like Nick wins. You know what I mean? Like that's you know, that doesn't I would be happy about that. If any of us want to be clear, what if it's between you and Nick and Nick wins? Are you going to be... Thank you. Oh, yeah.

No, I'd be... If Nick wins, yeah, over me, 100%. Nick. Love Nick. Nick, you got my vote, buddy. I think we might have to nominate Nick. But that wouldn't be for F*** Face because Nick works in all the F brands.

That's true. That is the problem, Nick. He isn't as narrowly focused as I am. Yeah, but I'm a part of most of those F brands, so it's still a win for me. Jeff started his own podcast and everything. You know what I mean? I couldn't help but notice that that was in the feed.

Hey, let's deal with the PowerPoint at hand. It sounds like someone went back on their vote. Hey, let's deal with the PowerPoint at hand. Okay. And then we can get into that. And the last point, there's a slide or two maybe after that, but the last point,

I think this is the one that's most powerful. Some of you do not seem all that convinced so far, but I think this will really bring you over the line. How can you continue to deny this beautiful face? How can you say no to this? How can you say no to that? Is that you wearing your you wearing that's me wearing my face i will say the face is a little snug as a big-headed individual it was it's it's a problem

the face problem look the nice thing is up top you've got room for more thoughts there's yeah as you can see it's not very full though that that space why is the top of the head completely empty uh because it was listen i was choking out my nose which thank christ it's unbreakable because if it was that would have shattered in really pieces trying to get this head like this is the first picture of you that I've seen since we started this podcast. That's not true. I've never seen the facial hair in my life. I've heard about it. That's not true.

I sent you a beard photo. Did you? Listen, you don't fucking remember the arcade. You're not going to remember the fact that I sent you a beard photo. He's got you there. You also don't remember that you recanted and said that you were totally fine with us posting it on the face channel. I did? Yeah, you don't remember it. No. You totally said you were totally fine with us posting it on the channel. I did?

Yeah, you didn't remember it. You totally said it. You weren't there, Andrew. It was after you left. He said it to me and Eric. We both heard it. We remember. You just don't remember! Final slide. Pant 2023. Bringing democracy to the

demcocracy, or company that is always talking about how important it is to have the support bringing democracy to the demcocracy or company that is always talking about how important it is to have the support of the community yet they have no say in these cock trophies going out so you know you feel I've made some salient points

as a listener as a watcher feel free to support my effort in winning a cock award in 2023 thank you so much. So Eric, when you nominate someone for this cock thing, do you have to justify the choice to anyone? I mean, you probably like write like a little blurb. It's not like I've ever nominated anyone.

You haven't? Why? Why would I? I should be winning them. I don't need to nominate anyone. Yeah, he can't nominate himself. And who else deserves it? Eric, great job. Like, what am I going to do?

Make a 12-slide PowerPoint presentation about why I should win an internal award? So if my boss, which is you, doesn't want to nominate, he only wants to win. Does that mean no one beneath him can win? I don't have to necessarily nominate you.

Other people can nominate you. Yeah. Gavin, you could nominate Andrew if you wanted to. Or we could all agree to nominate Nick. Exactly. We can all nominate you. Yeah. Gavin, you could nominate Andrew if you wanted to. Or we could all agree to nominate Nick. Exactly. We can all nominate Nick. So, wow. Okay.

Yeah. I love Nick. And that's my presentation. Let me ask you guys a question. Andrew, first off, Andrew, I think it's a phenomenal presentation. Thank you.

Really good. If I wasn't already dead set on nominating Nick, you would be in the running. I agree with that. In the running. Of all employees who currently work at the company, you would definitely be one of them in the running.

Amongst the others, you would definitely be in that mix in some small fashion. But I think it's awesome. Here's my question for you. And I'm not recommending we do this, but the thought popped into my head when we were talking about the Cockpite of the Year Award and you were giving us this thorough presentation. If we were to have our own award that we hand out at the end of the year. And I'm not saying that we should do this. Cause this is a bit that rooster teeth has done in the past. The podcast had its own awards years ago.

We made a dumb trophy with a beer can. It was the whole thing. But if we were to have a face award, what would it be like a potato of the year? I thought you meant what would it like be physically represented as? And it's just a, your melted cosmic crisp in my head that was in the represented as and it's just uh your melted cosmic crisp in my head that was in the fridge would it be like a bag of cosmic crisp bag of the melted

the melted awful cosmic crisp would be the trophy i think it should be that picture of andrew wearing his own mask but in like a crystal yeah like a bronzed or silver kind of like plaque kind of thing. Like those things you get at the mall where it's like inside the... Oh! Yeah. I like that. That would be real bad. That'd be real cool. Well.

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huh what so you put your show so here's the deal here's the deal they say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission but some of us find it's easy to ask for both. Huh. Okay. I'd like to say that I didn't have anything to do with that. Would you like to say it because you couldn't say that? Or that's what you're saying? I'd like to say that.

I wasn't involved in that decision. I would like to say that. That doesn't mean you're not. The real f***ing face move was obviously in the episode where it was funnier to not do it. I totally agree. It was funnier to not do it. I'm like to say that. That doesn't mean you're not. The real f*** face move was obviously in the episode where it was funnier to not do it. I totally agree. It was funnier to not do it. I'm right there with you. I'd like to say, I would.

I would like to say that I wasn't involved in the decision to go back on that. 100% want to be able to say that with you. Eric's not saying anything. What do you want me to say? I said, hey, Nick said that we want to upload this because it'll help numbers. How do you feel about that? And Jeff said, hey, do you want a Nick said that we want to upload this because it'll help numbers. How do you feel about that?

And Jeff said, yeah, go for it. Huh? Okay. But the point still stands. The point still stands. I would like to be able to say that I didn't say that. I just can't. I respect that a lot.

But I want to be. I want to be able to say I listen. How about this? How about this? How about this? Gavin, Andrew? Uh-huh. This is your old pal, Jeff. You've known me for more than half of both of your lives.

We've been friends for a very long time. Big time. Gavin, I've known you for going on two decades now. Maybe close to 20 years. Oh, actually more than 20 years. I've known you. Is that right? No.

How old are you? We met in 2005. Yeah, it's than 20 years. I've known you. Is that right? No. How old are you? Well, we met in 2005. Yeah, it's been 18 years. And I knew you online a little bit before that. Yeah. I'm sorry. Forgive me, please. No, it's never good. I'm so sorry. I feel bad. I made a, uh-oh, oopsie. I actually might be mad at Jeff now

I might be on your side I wish I hadn't done it but I did cases change the past forgive Jeff wearing headphones for that

made me feel sick yeah I don't like it that may have been the worst thing I've ever heard yeah I was gonna say

and this is why I never apologize now let me was going to say this is why I never apologize. Now, let me say I will. I will say this is this is more mine and Nick's doing. I apologize. However, you know, I'm looking out for the well-being of the F brands when I'm here to manage and everything as as a sort of peace offering to you two. Is there anything that you guys would want to put in the RSS feed? As a standalone

audio clip in the feed? Yeah. No, and I'll tell you why. The feed is called F*** Face, right? Right. And when we talk about all these other podcasts like John Reisinger's podcast, Jeff's podcast, brilliant. Obviously, you do want to promote him. We can even, you know, talk about him in the

episodes if we want. But putting him in the feed is a bit weird. It's not f***ing face. I'm sorry. That's a good point. Stop. Sorry. I feel so bad.

Why put something in the feed that it's going to alert on everyone's phone and it isn't the thing they subscribe to? Now, in their defense, you two did this and it went very well. YouTube just threw an album out on people's devices. Everybody who had iTunes woke up to a free U2 album. They were happy as could be. It took me about 8 years to shake that thing.

We're kind of like the U2 of podcasts. We are the U2 of podcasts. It would be you. This is a you and and eric you too no but there's no way there's no way larry mullen jr was into it when they did it yeah so like that's like i get it i get it david and their defense when in the story that jeff just told they brought up that it might do good for numbers which is not i don't you know maybe that wasn't a consideration when he voted yeah i mean no i don't know thought of that yeah might do good for numbers, which is not, I don't, you know, maybe that wasn't a consideration when he voted.

Yeah. I mean, no, I would have thought of that. Yeah. No, not our numbers. I just thought, what's more f*** face than bringing it up to a vote, voting against our best interests, and then me going back and then doing it anyway?

That's a stretch. That's a little bit. That's a pretty f***y f*** face, huh? No, that's not really. The thing is, I've always trusted the vote. I've always felt like the vote. Yeah, you gotta trust the vote. You gotta trust the vote.

Hey, Gav, how about this? How about this? Just in case we're not clear. I'm sorry. No, okay, we're good. Do you forgive me, Gavin? You mean so much to me. You're such a close friend.

You've been there for me for the last 18 years. You mean the much to me you're such a close friend you've been there for me for the last 18 years you mean the world to me you're the best friend I have on the planet earth the last thing I want to do is upset you so please forgive me can I share something really cool with you guys like a legitimate this blew my mind this person I think who

shared it with me doesn't even I don't feel they made this connection but I got a tweet from someone. I'll put it in here in which they went to the baseball hall of fame and they found a Zimmer at the Tampa Bay Rays. He's a retired number. Don Zimmer retired by the Tampa Bay Rays. One of the only players to be retired,

have his number retired by the Rays. What year was the franchise founded? Wait. How the fuck is Jackie Robinson? Well, I mean, I guess his number is retired throughout baseball. That makes total sense. 98. 98.

Yeah. Wow. The Rays were founded in 98 and Don Zimmer had his number retired by a team that was founded in 1998. That's crazy. Does that mean we're Tampa Bay Rays fans as a podcast? No. No, because so were the Diamondbacks. Yeah, but they didn't retire

Don Zimmer's number. That's true. Why did they retire his number? Because he was the coach? Why did they retire Wade Boggs? I don't know. I don't know anything about baseball. I can't come on the other ones. But listen, they made the the the bear. The Zimmer bear was for the Rays, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like clearly he was an important figure as either a manager or whatever or coach. Is that the same thing? Manager and coach are the same. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They are. Sorry.

I was looking up Wade Boggs stats where he played two years for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 1998 and 1999, and then retired. He came, you know why though? Because he grew up in the Tampa Bay area and so he wanted to end his career there and help launch the franchise. So I think it was like a local hero makes good. That's cool.

Kind of thing. That's why they retired it. I just thought that blew my mind. Like I saw it, I was like, that's awesome. Don Zimmer loves Zimmer and then seeing when the Rays franchise was created it's like, what a coincidence. That's wild.

1998, last good year. Last good year. 2013, a possible entry into that? Possible. Oh, by the way, by the time this comes out, this will be the week of 13th we'll have the 98 movies and music will have come out um so we are wrapping up the summer of 98 with the movies and music that everyone will be able to um hear us debate and listen to so

yeah hopefully they're not too frustrating because obviously we can't show any of the films or play any of the music right but. But I did feel like they were really fun and good recordings. Oh, you enjoyed them? Yeah. I'm so glad. I did.

I had a lot of fun making them. I just wasn't, you never know. I'm excited for what the next thing is we do after that. I guess we're going to do like the movies

of the winter of 98, right? Yeah, we could do a winter 98 thing. I'm feeling like Jess and Erica were saying. I'm kind of feeling 2013. I just want to see if there's anything there. Well, let me throw this out

because I just posted this in the Slack or in the Discord. I went to eat lunch at Home Slice today, which is a pizza restaurant in Austin, and their menu is devoted to 88. Home Slice, fresh for 88 suckers, big time to the max. Most definitely, I'm so sure.

Good year. Let me throw 88 into the mix. I like 88. Nice puffy jacket on the lady in the... I was there for like seven months in it. 88 feels like kind of like a holdover year to me where it's just sort of like you mash it all in with like the late... Kind of like you mash it all in with like the the late

kind of like that late 80s i mean i guess the only thing that really i remember was uh that uh kirk gibson at bat that was that was 88 yeah so i mean you're the one who brought it up i'm just saying so yeah yeah no i just i'm finding it interesting that other establishments you know we talked about that creed tour or whatever and now i'm starting to see other people embracing previous years uh other establishments and businesses and uh i like it wasn't you entry that you were talking about mario party and then we we uh yeah we should potentially do a summer of japan 98 out. I got really excited because I was like, what games came out in 98? And I just Googled video games released in 98. And Mario Party was on the list.

And I was like, holy shit, that's perfect. That's awesome. I can't believe that came out in 98. And so I talked to Eric about it and he immediately crushed my dreams and saying it came out in like January of 99. And so I guess it was summer of 98 in japan or just it was like december 98 in japan and i love the idea of two the next season being the japanese summer you know what though that's maybe the best thing we could do because that's a way for us to truly

experience a 98 that we didn't have access to. Yeah. That might really open up our eyes because it's not only it's like, what was the other side of the world doing while we were watching Snake Eyes? What year did Hong Kong get given back? Don't bring Snake Eyes into this. You didn't even. I'd like to think that they were also watching Snake Eyes. Hey, Eric, just in your honor, I put Snake Eyes in the thumbnail for the new

Summer of 98 movie. I saw. It's a really good thumbnail. Thank you very much. That was great. It's not even on the list. Another thing, by the way, you know how I'm not a talk-to-me guy? I'm also not a guy that says stateside.

Yeah, never felt the need to use that one. I'll see you stateside. Is that not a thing that's said here? No, we are stateside, so we don't have to say it. I guess you don't.

I might start saying kingdom side when I'm going home. Well, here's the thing, you're not separated. Have you ever tried? I guess maybe Dan, if you and Dan are on different areas of an airplane and going from Europe to the U.S., or I guess any other location to the U.S. so you stateside would work.

How many scenarios are you able to use that? Well, that one specific moment in the air when one of you is if you're in the one person's in the front of the plane and one person's in the back one person could be side and the other person could be kingdom side right that'd be about it that's true there's a transitional point there where it's pretty immediate it's like see you next year on new year's like that joke. It's the same type of idea. I was saying, this is an idea I had, Jeff,

I was thinking about time zone lines. What is like the, the largest is, is there is, is there a borderline that has a multiple hour time zone difference? Is it possible to stand in the middle, have half your body be in one time zone, the other half, like obviously you can do that,

but is there like a multiple hour? Could you throw a ball in one hand and then technically catch it like two or three hours later in the other hand? Oh, maybe we should do like an hour-long home run or something. Well, Jeff, with dingers, you could give some range on that. Or you order a pizza where it's free after a certain amount of time has passed, but as the guy's giving it to you, you just back into the other times. He's like, oh.

Gavin, that's the best life hack you've ever brought up on this show. I like that a lot. I'm writing that down. Hold on a second. I might have an answer for you. I'm looking to see if anything looks close enough where they all kind of cross, but I don't. It's tough.

It doesn't look like anything's like, well, maybe in like that, that French Polynesia area looks like you, but that's pretty, you know, we're looking at it on a map. It's not really, it's pretty tough.

What's that shit happening under Spain there? Is the bottom of Spain in a different time zone? I don't know. So that means it's, it's like straight south of England, Is the bottom of Spain in a different time zone? I don't know. So that means it's like straight south of England, but there's two hours of time difference? That's insane. I've never seen that.

Yeah, I'm not really sure. Time zones are confusing to begin with. I mean, not very confusing, but just confusing enough in the way that they're all cut up. When I look at this map, I come to the conclusion that we all as a society are just playing make-believe here's pretending that here just you're just figuring that out i'm just figuring that this is this is madness this is ridiculous here's the closest here's the closest i can do for you so there's a there's a place called baker island and then very close to it is another island called the Line Islands, or a group of islands called the Line Islands.

And they are 26 hours apart in time zone. So if you could, I don't know, start juggling on a boat in the Baker Islands and then go to the Line Islands and then finish juggling 26 hours later, but it's only the boat ride. I was trying to explain that concept, I think, on a podcast once. then go to the lion islands and then finish juggling 26 hours later but only take that but it's only the the boat ride i was trying to explain that concept i think on a podcast once where i said because there's 26 time zones yeah and there's 24 hours in a day that a calendar day

lasts on the earth for 50 hours but i don't think anyone agreed with me. I agree with you. Okay. Yeah, I would never fight that. Right, but I also wouldn't get on board with it. Why not? You could have a 50-hour day. You just gotta keep moving. Yeah.

I don't wanna keep moving. I did that flying back from Japan where you chase the sun and you just go like, oh, I feel insane. Like where it's just daytime for like so long like so long and uh it like makes you feel sick physically i don't like it yeah you land before you took off

or that you have the whole day again yeah it's not it's like not a good thing oh you make up that time it's like you certainly don't i did that once and i went to i flew back to japan and went straight to vidcon like i i was up all night Japan and went straight to VidCon Like I was up all night Well I was up all day in Japan and up all night on the plane And then I landed that same day Was up all day and then I was just at some Like open bar event at VidCon And I was like how is it

It's been Saturday for like 47 hours Is there anything that Is better globally in the summer? Like something you can see. Well, summer isn't global. Stop. Okay. But if you were in like a...

I'm thinking about... What was that surf documentary? Jeff, you fucking... You know the surf... Where they chased the summer? Endless Summer? Endless Summer. Yeah, that fucking, you know the surf, where they chase the summer. Endless summer? Endless summer. Yeah, that should have been easy to remember. It's very

straightforward. I mean, they weren't being literal with it. They were just traveling around the world surfing. Yeah, but I feel like they were chasing the hottest time of year in that region, were they not? I think they were chasing locations more than anything, but sure. But you know what? Yes. We'll say yes. It sounds like I didn't take anything away from this documentary.

Certainly you didn't. No. They surfed with the... Anyway, I was going to say, like, what would be, like, a thing you could chase? Like, what is a funny... Like, ice cream. Like, endless ice cream. I feel like ice cream is better in the heat.

Just keep falling the hottest time of year around places. Swimming? Swimming is good. I like swimming in the cold the cold too i think swimming is just fun no you like swimming in the cold well it's not i'm not gonna opt for it but it's like something i'm not opposed to you could die if you're swimming if you're swimming in the cold it's because the plane crashed or the boat sank and you're trying to tread water until you get rescued. I'm not hopping out in the middle of winter. I'm just saying when it's, you know, and it's like not super cold out.

There's nothing wrong with a little. I think I think this is a regional thing. I think that your idea of cold and my Texas idea of cold are probably very different. That would. Yeah, absolutely. 100% true. Hey, speaking of cold and water and stuff, I had a I had a thought the other day I wanted to ask you guys about. Would you guys take a boat around the Earth?

Like, would you circumnavigate the planet in a boat? Yeah. How long does it take to do that? I don't know. Doesn't matter. Okay, well, okay. Time's not an issue. The government has agreed to give you two years

to make the journey, and they're going to pay for it, and all expenses are paid, and they're paying your mortgage and your rent and everything. You just have to do it. I have no idea how long it takes, but it doesn't take two years. I still lose two years of my life. Having an adventure and seeing the entire world, I wouldn't say that's losing anything.

I'd say you've gained a hell of a lot of experience and perspective. I don't want to do anything for two years. So the answer is no. Two straight years? I don't want to do anything for two years. So the answer is no. Two straight years? I don't know that it takes two years. God damn. How do you know? Okay, I got it, I got it.

Two-year cutoff. Sailing around the world takes three to five years. It can be done incredibly fast. The world record is 40 days. On average, most people when sailing around the world need about three and a half years. So would you do it for three? So I know you don't want to do it for two, but would you do it for three and a half?

It really depends on the boat for me. Would you do it in 40 days? No. So it sounds like the answer to this question is no from Gavin. Well, it sounds really boring. Do we get Wi-Fi in the boat?

There's no Wi-Fi in the sea. You said it was boring and it made Jeff mad? No, I didn't mean that. What if it was like a cruise ship, Gavin? It's a cruise ship and you have to satellite internet. You've got Starlink or whatever.

You would be bored on a cruise ship for Circling the globe for 52 years? I feel like I'm the opposite of a water-adjacent guy. Like, I want to be in the stuff or nowhere near it. I don't want to be on a boat for 40 days. Sounds miserable. What if they drag you from behind on a little inner tube? A couple hours a day.

Not for 40 whole days, just a couple hours a day. You get your fill in the water. I wonder what the longest that someone has been in a tube towed by a boat like the longest like throwing sandwiches to you and stuff i wonder what the deepest ocean anybody's ever been towed in a speedboat like that is like what like has anybody ever gone like skiing in the middle of the Atlantic a thousand miles away from any land I I asked the question because I was thinking about it the other day it was on like tv or something and I thought yeah I would definitely sail around the world and then I thought I think Andrew asked the question uh briefly we glossed over it but I got to thinking in a big boat and I was trying to figure out how small I would go before I was like this is not worth it you know

what I mean like it feels like if you're on a cruise ship, that seems pretty safe. But if you're on a cruise ship in the middle of nowhere and it starts to sink, you're just as fucked if you're in a sailboat and it starts to sink. You're a really long way away from land. And then I started to think about the go-go now day

and how uncomfortable I felt when we were in deep ocean and how we were an hour and a half away from land and how shitty that made me feel in my tummy. And that got me thinking maybe I wouldn't do it. And I was wondering if y'all would because I it's one of those things that I thought instantly, of course, I would do that. And then then I thought, oh, shit, I may be lying to myself. I might be terrified of that. Yeah, I think the same way when we when i had to i was swimming with sharks in

the bahamas we had to boat out to a bigger boat that was just out in the ocean and it was shocking to see how quickly all the phone signals gone like you can still see the land and you've got no bars and then we were just going in a boat for about half an hour into the middle of the sea and the guy driving was like i never met him before you could just you could just club me in the head and throw me out. How would anyone ever know I was there? There's something really funny about the fact that you're leaving to swim with sharks in your moment of terror is when the cell phone signal drops. That's scarier to me.

Because if I got stuck there, I'd be screwed. I swam with the damn sharks. It was fine. At least on the bright side of you and the if you and a shark get into it it can't call for backup either i just love the idea that gavin loses cell phone reception he's going to swim with sharks and he's looking at the boat captain being like i don't know if i could trust this guy you're about to go swim with sharks okay would you get into a boat with someone you've known for three minutes and have him drive you out into the sea for like 45 minutes?

Apparently, I would do it with a dude who we don't speak the same language and the engine's on fire the whole time and smelling like gasoline. Sure. Yeah, I carpooled with a guy I met on a flight from San Antonio to Austin. Yeah, but you were in a car on roads with other people. No, but my phone didn't work. No, but I didn't. My phone didn't work that entire time. I didn't have roaming.

Somebody could knock you on the head in a car just as easily as on a boat. I don't know. It may be even easier. There's a lot of empty land between Austin and San Antonio. You can do it at any moment,

but the thing is, in a car on a public road, he's got to consider where he's going to dump me. In the middle of the sea, he can just deflate my lungs and shut me down. I'm done. So you're saying that there's more dumpage in the sea than there is in the car? Easy.

It's not more dumpage. It's just the idea of it is more alluring because it's such easy dumpage. Because I think people dump way more in cars than they do in boats. Have you guys ever looked into how many people die and disappear in national parks? No. No. Yeah, there's no law enforcement in national parks.

And so lots of sketchy shit happens out in national parks that just goes unreported or if it's reported, goes unsolved. National parks are real fucking dangerous because of that. But the law still applies there, though. Yeah. Just like, I'm just saying.

You said that in such a great way. It's the ocean of the land, the national park. Walking up to a park and just seeing a sign that say the law stops here. Jurassic Park, maybe that's probably a place where laws don't apply. All sorts of shit happened in there.

It is. What is the I mean, if you said if you call someone in National Park with an emergency, the police would try and find you, right? People would come. Like, is there a place where if you tell them where you are they just shrug and go we can't help you yeah any any anybody who doesn't leave when a hurricane is about to destroy their city and it's been evacuated and they get and the the governor or mayor will get on the news and say if you don't evacuate we can't help you first responders won't be able to get to you yet thousands of people along the gulf coast do that year. My brain went to Hall of Mirrors.

That's a real tough place to find someone. There you go. That's going to cause a lot of property damage. I've never been in a Hall of Mirrors, but I've seen them in movies quite a bit and it seems very confusing. What if we all pop on a pantomask

and all go into a Hall of Mirrors? Would you be more afraid if we did that in a hall of mirrors or a national park, Andrew? A hall of mirrors, for sure. I said national park. I think I meant national forest. Oh. Is what I actually meant. I apologize.

I'll clarify whatever it is when the next episode of So Alright comes out in our feed. I'll listen to it then. Figure it out yeah it's for it's for example national parks usually forbid hunting national forests allow it it's like all all bets are off in national forests can i uh can i put something in the so all right feed uh yeah what do you want? You know what? Yeah, absolutely. I would absolutely love it. Anything you want. Uh, can I just, can I just give you the audio file? Do you have to put it in the feed? Yes. Okay. Okay. I mean, yeah, sure. Whatever. Yeah. Why not? Hey, I know we need to wrap up cause we were getting about long. However, I would like to leave you guys with a thought, something to maybe work on

from between now and next week. And then maybe the audience can have interest in this as well. I had this idea the other day when I was thinking about what to cook for dinner and I was at the grocery store and I was looking at beans

and I saw kidney beans and I thought, I wonder if you could build a human out of food named after human body parts. So I started to assemble what I could come up with. I've got kidney beans. I've got artichoke hearts. I've got elbow macaroni.

I've got lady fingers. And I discovered there's a brandy infused chocolate truffle called nipples of Venus. So we've got nipples, fingers, elbows, hearts, and kidneys. We just need to come up with the rest of a body. Do you think we could do that? Do you think there's enough food named after body parts that you could fill out a human?

But, like, chicken legs are out. Chicken leg would work. Why not? What about chicken breasts, then? Because now we're just putting together other things maybe you would do like maybe you would do turkey breast chicken leg so one animal per part there's that bit on the if you're eating an artichoke and you got the leaves off there's that bit between the leaves and the heart called the beard is that true

actually might not be called that it's just whatever. This is why I called it as a kid. I'm going to look that up. Is there a lot to show the beard? I go to head cheese and ears of corn. Oh, ears of corn is good. Ears of corn is awesome. What about cock-a-van?

Head cheese. That's the award I'm trying to win. By the way, yes, it is. I think that they're... No, there's no artichoke beard. Okay, how do you feel about this? Potato skin. Potato skin's great.

Now, once we actually get this person built they gotta have something pumping blood orange blood orange dude that's so good muscles muscles muscles that's amazing so you guys we've we made so much progress already we're like we got we're like 40 percent of the way towards a person yeah i kind of like this. Should we eventually, once we got all the ingredients, lay it out as a human anatomy and eat it together? I think we should. I do. What do you mean?

You know how sometimes people, like trashy people who think they're being fancy, will eat sushi off a naked lady? I don't think I've ever seen that. I see it on, like, reality shows all the time. What if we... Yeah, we just, like, sit around a big table and we just eat a person in food.

Spotted dick. Spotted dick. Clam. What? Did you say clam? Okay, I'll take it. That works. This sucks.

Rump roast. Rump roast is great. Rump roast. See, look at it. You guys came up with so many that never even crossed my mind. That's amazing. See, this is...

I love it when an idea comes together. Nuts. Nuts! In my head, this is just turning out to be another crazy game of Operation. Alright, well, think on that and see what else you can come up with, and I'm sure the audience can

send us their suggestions as well. Hey, September 29th, 10pm, we are doing Sloppy Joe's up with and I'm sure the audience can send us their suggestions as well. Oh, hey. September 29th. 10pm. We are doing Sloppy Joe's Bingo. So tune in. 10pm central. Tune in. Is there a T-bone in the body?

Human T-bone? Human T-bone. Yeah. Do we have a T-bone? Human T-bone. Looking it up now. I think so. 206 bones. I don't see any of them necessarily being t okay i'm not okay cut down the center vertebral axis of a human split the black bone and then separate out a section of lower back muscle and that would result in the equivalent of a t-bone oh i don't know if that counts gross Gross. I don't like that. This is fun.

It was fun. I appreciate seeing you guys again. I missed you last week. Real Zazzle. I think next time, Andrew, we should read off your list of musics again because I enjoyed that last time. Okay, we can do that.

Oh, yeah. We can continue the Zazzle streak we got going, these episodes. Since it was summer of 98, Emily was saying we should put it all on a CD and sell it. What? I like that CDs were a thing in 98

you want us to put the music on it no put Andrew's 75 fucking lines on a CD oh I thought you were telling us to put our playlist on I'm like we can't sell other people's music no I don't want to do that bad idea

just want to sell Andrew saying 75 stupid things. One comment I really enjoyed from the most recent episode that came out is that Jeff said we're off. We're off fruit. We need to turn towards vegetables and be a vegetable podcast. And then apparently Jeff listed five fruits. You know what I listed? I listed shit like tomatoes and they're like, and they're like, if it's got a seed, it's technically a fruit.

So I looked up list of vegetables on Wikipedia, and it says some vegetables, which are botanically fruits such as tomatoes, are still considered to be vegetables in the culinary sense. Fair play. So fuck y'all. How about that? Yeah, get them. you go to you go to a store and you go to buy tomato it's going to be in the vegetable aisle i guarantee you yeah fair point oh yeah you got them real good i know no no reason to get pedantic about what is what is what what is commonly referred to as a vegetable right we would never

get pedantic on this show. Thank you. No, it's not what we do. Would you like a dog if it had a handle? What the fuck? End the show. You mean like a suitcase? Like you could pick it up like a suitcase? Well, I've seen a lot of dogs wearing like,

you know, wraps around their body and on top is a little handle for like small dogs. But I thought, what if the shoulder blades just went really high and then a bone bridged across and then it's just like normal fur and skin? Do you think... You're asking if a dog

combined with a GameCube, would it be better? Is that a sensitive question? I was just wondering whether I'd be weirded out by the dog if it had a natural handle or whether that would be awesome.

Isn't that the scruff? Oh, yeah. No, but you can't get your hand all the way under it. Yeah. Not like a GameCube. Do you think, because the way we have dogs now, like our sweet little Henry. The way we have dogs. Well, the way we have dogs now, it's through

hundreds of years of selective breeding, right? Like, if you look up what an English Bulldog looked like a hundred years ago, it's very different from what an English bulldog looks like now because they've been bred to achieve that aesthetic, right? And that's the case for almost all dogs.

So do you think if you put your work, if you really put work into it, do you think you could breed a handle into a dog? I think you'd be relying on some pretty hefty mutations there. You'd have to just keep an eye out for a dog with massive shoulder blades and then breathe

and wait for another one. I'm not saying that you would do it quickly. It might not even be something you do in your lifetime. But if you started today, maybe your kids could get there. And imagine it thick like a there and imagine it imagine it like

thick like a pelvis so it's not like a weak bone that has a bunch of joints it's just like a solid piece and you can pet the top of the handle if you want and you can also use the handle it needs to be a strong handle because if it breaks off you can't glue it back on no you can pet the top of the handle and use it as a handle. Or you can put it under the handle. Like belly scratches for a handle. That's nice. Can we end this now, please? I'll be honest, I thought

Eric would have more input. No, I like the idea I think a little bit, but also picking up a dog by a handle that is the dog. I'm not a big, I don't think I really like it. By its handle, not a hand, but also picking up a dog by a handle that is the dog, I don't think I really like that. By its handle, not a handle.

It's like its leg. Yeah, no, I know. I just don't think that, like, I think we have that, and it's the scruff, and we just, I don't pick up dogs like that. You're not into it now because it doesn't exist yet, but once it exists and people get used to it, it might become very commonly accepted and maybe even sought after. No.

No. All right. I could imagine it in Fallout 5. Yeah. That feels like a good place for it. Handle dogs in Fallout? When does Fallout 5 come out? I don't think it's even announced. Probably like 2042. Probably forever. I guess we have to, we're getting Starfield in a couple days, right? We'll get it tomorrow.

Yeah, tonight I think. It's not out today. I tried to upload it this morning today i try not in the loop but i don't know whether to be excited about that is that going to be good do people think it's good i think it's going to be good just sweet i don't personally think bethesda makes a lot of bad games like i'm excited always good uh wasn't full out 76 a big jumbo turd did you ever play it it was fucking fun as hell i didn't like it at launch, but people love it now. Like they know how to work at launch. It's fun now. I enjoy it. Is it fun with people or fun solo though? Both. I play solo. I think both. Yeah. Okay. I'll give it a go.

It's one of those games that seems to have come back around. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you liked it, subscribe. And then I think that's it. There won't be any more So Alright on this feed, but you can go to So Alright's feed and listen to whatever Gavin puts over there. Yeah. If suddenly there's something over there, just know Gavin did it. And listen, feel free to listen to the ones I do too

because I'm also putting content out on the So Alright feed. Right. It's not just Gavin. I really enjoyed the first episode. So Alright, I thought it was really good. Oh, thank you. You Jeff, I really enjoyed the first episode. It's all right. I thought it was really good. Oh, thank you. You know, I found something interesting.

Three people, I'm not going to say who they were, three people the day my new podcast launched reached out to me to congratulate me and say, hey, that's really cool, really loved it, or congratulations on your launch. I hope it goes well.

Three people out of everybody on Earth that I know did that, and none of them were in this podcast. Thanks for listening! Well, no, I just... I was... I'm an honorable man. I didn't listen to it yet.

But, you know, I'll find it in this feed. Mango Street! We already quit. Hey, guys. Find it in this feed. Mango Street. We already quit. We already cut. Oh. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.

Jeff is the best at ad reads. Patton is playing Starfield. Gavin gets cocky. Let's talk about houses. Jeff cooked up some faces. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Facts.