Regulation Podcast - Zimmer's Titanium Forehead // Is Humpty Dumpty an Easter Thing? [60]

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's new shitty lease on life, the smell of the F**kface air freshener, horses putting eggs or cannons back together, Shatner's webstore, and state songs. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face), Ship Station (http://shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top of the page + code FACE), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face podcast. I believe it is the 60th iteration of this show. With me as always, Andrew and Gavin. And I think Nick is out this episode, but Eric is hiding somewhere in the background. It's been about four minutes since we last spoke. How's everybody doing? How have you been? and Gavin and I think Nick is out this episode but Eric is hiding somewhere in the background been about four minutes since we last spoke how's everybody doing how have you been I missed you guys missed you too I went to talk to you Jeff I didn't know you left about the Celtics coach there's no but nothing heard nothing I like the guy I'm in I was unsure at first yeah I'm a big Andrew do you struggle when people are talking to you but you're doing something else do you just block block out the rest of the world because I feel like he was very loudly like I'm a big fan. Andrew, do you struggle when people are talking to you, but you're doing something else?

Do you just block out the rest of the world? Because I feel like he was very loudly like, I'm going to go pee. I heard you only. And then I thought it was just you. Yeah, I don't know. I guess so. Maybe.

If I did what I know, I don't think I would know. I think someone would else have to inform me. Listen, I'll be honest. I'm well aware of who I am and how I come across. I'm pretty easy to ignore i've had 46 years of it i get it i'm used to it it's kind of like and by the way let me just say i i mentioned to you guys like two or three episodes ago now that i came to peace with my space my station in the universe which is like i am of the level of dog shit and as long as i don't try to go above that, then things are fine.

And I just want you guys to know, it's been going great. Like, still, Universe and I, we're still seeing eye to eye. No major tragedies. The house hasn't fallen apart. You know, we did a little bit of rain because Gavin and I hung out. But I've been reminding myself

when I see shit, I'm no better than shit. And then I pick it up immediately and I deal with the shit. And it's been great. It's been's uh really learned to settle with where i am and not not try to be oh you know better should we have a i'm no better than shit t-shirt i'm no better than shit what would be the design on it well design i assume would just be text you don't think i feel like there has to be a design wait what's Eric saying before everything fell apart last time

I feel like this is the stuff I said after everything fell apart and I had the realization no no this was one thing happened with your car and then everything happened after that the car happened and then you went you know what I'm just gonna take it as it comes

and then the next month of episodes and then it came. Yeah, it all came. So something to consider. I don't know, man. I've got a new shitty lease on life. So when Eric said, this is the same stuff he said

before everything fell apart last time, I thought he meant Vin Diesel. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, is the episode going downhill? Yeah, so I thought it was a Vin Diesel reference. And then that made me think, holy shit, Gavin's right. I don't remember any of this conversation said last episode i guess i

wasn't listening i was pretty sure this is all new but you meant the car jeff's life fell apart not the episode less important understood you know who else who i i didn't know this i so i made the the zimmer the the dinner Zimmer salad last episode. Not to be confused with the regulation Zimmer salad or the regulation salad. Yeah. No. Yeah. So I was doing a lot of research about Don Zimmer and I didn't know.

I didn't. Did you know that he almost died when he was like in his 20s from a baseball? I had no idea. Yeah. Like cracked his skull. Right. He was in a coma for two weeks. Whoa. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Yeah, like cracked his skull right he was in a coma for two weeks whoa Yeah, no yeah He was he was unconscious for 13 days and his weight plummeted from 170 to 124 And they told him he'd never play again when he was 22. Oh my god He took like a fastball to the face They had to drill holes into his skull to relieve the pressure so that he could survive he had fluid Yeah, I guess he had fluid this then created

There was a rumor for a while that he had a titanium plate put into his head. And I feel like those rumors were fully from when he had his fight. Because he went head first. I feel like the logic was that. He was trying to use his titanium? Yeah, that like he was trying to utilize the weapon that he was given using the titanium forehead.

It was not. He does not have a titanium forehead. They did put like some screws or like buttons or something in there. I bet he believed he had a titanium forehead. It was not. He does not have a titanium forehead. They did put like some screws or like buttons or something in there. I bet he believed he had a titanium head. Although immediately disarmed when your head just gets pushed into the ground. My favorite part of when I was doing research, the thing I was reading, they wrote out like he was hit and he's fully unconscious for 13 days. Like he nearly died.

And then they followed up with he was beamed again in 1956 only getting hit in the head with a baseball beamed is hilarious to me i love beanings it's a great word it must be such a jarring feeling though to be playing baseball get hit in the head and then it's two weeks later like what must that feel like oh my god i don't oh he wouldn't have felt the ball i don't imagine it's immediately out is that a strikeout how does that feel like? Oh my god. I don't... Oh, he wouldn't have felt the ball, I don't imagine. It's immediately out. Is that a strikeout? How does that count? Or does he go to base?

Yeah, that's... That's just... That's all base on ball, right? Yeah. They'll probably have to put in a pinch runner for you while they carry off in a stretcher. It's an HPP. It's hit by pitch. Okay.

We should run an experiment. We'll hit Gavin in the head with a fastball. Oh! And then two weeks later, we'll ask him what he remembers. Don't they wear helmets, though, playing baseball? They do. Or was that so far in the past that helmets hadn't been invented? Well, I'm sure helmets were invented by that point.

I don't know if they used them. That's another question entirely. But helmets certainly existed. I can't believe, like, when you look back on the way stuff evolved technology-wise, I can't believe seatbelts weren't a thing for so long. That's mental to me. I think... Like, surely the first car crash killed the driver.

Surely. I remember when Gus and I were into... We both had old cars for a while. This is early RT and before RT. And I remember, like, one of gus's trucks i think didn't have seat belts and it wasn't required to because like they didn't have to he wasn't legally required to have them because they weren't required at the time that the truck was built or something and so they just didn't exist and so it was okay but it was like a i think i'm getting that right

but it was like a 63 or a 64 truck so it wasn wasn't that old. Oh, and I'm sure at the time maybe the way the cars were built in general maybe seatbelts would have been a death sentence when they're attached to the way that they used to be built. Like, they would have just ripped you in half. Well, also shit like car seats. Like, my mom I don't think I had a car seat when I was a kid.

Because I was born in the 70s, right? And my mom was like the car seat was the fucking floorboard. They just throw you on the floorboard with a pillow and some blankets like and you just don't hit shit you know you know when there's like something on the floor of a car and you break hard and then like a bottle might roll out

so you just see your baby's head poked out covered in old skittles and shit oh Jeffrey what are you doing under here get back there Poked out. Covered in old Skittles and shit. Oh, Jeffrey, what are you doing under there? Get back there. I was wildly wrong.

I did not think you're going to go with seatbelts. I thought you're going to stay within the realm of sports with hockey. How goalies didn't wear masks for a long time. I was all prepared for that. It was a much more impactful choice. Oh i'm just thinking like safety in general was just so secondary now stuff's built around safety speaking of not wearing helmets and masks i'll tell you who should is fucking devin booker i have watched gav this is he's a basketball player it's the playoffs right now he got hit in the first game of the series or maybe second game and he had his nose broken in three places so then he started wearing like a face shield but it's hard to shoot with it on or whatever it's uncomfortable so he keeps taking

it off and i swear to god every time he takes that shield off and walks on the court somebody punches him as hard as they can straighten his fucking nose god happened last night again he was on the ground, covered, he covered his face with his shirt to cry. He was in so much pain. And it's like,

dude, put the fucking mask back on. Yeah, I mean, that's something that I guess when your nose is broken in three places, even with the mask,

it's going to hurt. I can't imagine without it. I didn't even realize a nose bone is big enough to break in three places. Can't break mine. I have an unbreakable nose. We've covered this. That's true. I don't need the mask i'll never need it i think if i was a

bad shooter though i'd wear a mask season like every every season i just come up with like i broke i guess i'd have to come up with a different excuse how many times have you been hit in the nose punch like punched or like what do you mean we're just taking a blow to the nose oh well i don't uh it just bounces right off so i couldn't tell you the number it doesn't really matter i've never like sustained a bad injury i'm saying like anything that impacts the nose it does no damage it just keeps on moving anything that impacts the nose anything yeah i how are you serious dude i hit my fucking nose so hard an hour and a half ago, I almost blacked out.

I don't know. I have like the Anderson Silva of noses. Like it just bobs and like you can't, like when it hits, it's not like direct. But you're not providing any information about your impacts to the nose. You're just, it's like saying, oh, this pint glass, unstoppable. I'm saying that like when things hit the nose, it, like, somehow deflects it and it does minimal damage.

Like, I don't... There's nothing... I couldn't tell you a time... I know I've been hit in the nose by things. It just means you haven't been hit very hard in the nose. No, I definitely have. I'm telling... When we...

Like, the pint glass in my cupboard has never broken. Does not mean if I throw it at the wall, it's going to stay in one piece. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, dude, I can come to Austin. I got a watering can here. Hit yourself in the nose with that, and I guarantee you, you'll feel it.

You'll feel your nose go back into your brain. Did you fall into your watering can? Dude, earlier I was... Is that why you were late? Arrow, well, it's not, but Arrow was out in the backyard and she peed like on the patio, like on the concrete and not in the grass. And so I spray it off.

Otherwise, the sun bakes it into hot, dry piss smell, which is fucking unbearable. So anytime she does it, I go grab the hose and I spray it off, you know? And so I went to the hose, I grabbed the hose and i bit down to turn it on and i guess right next to it i was a little like little bench and it had a watering can on it and i fucking didn't see it and i hit that watering can like the spout at the bottom of my nose as hard as i could bending down and then to add insult to injury so like it shoves my nose up into my brain a little

bit so i can i don't remember some things uh i'm pretty sure but uh i definitely lost some knowledge in that but then to add insult to injury because it's a watering can and i hit the spout uh the force pushed it down so that the handle of the watering can the watering can tipped and then the top of the watering can hit me in the back of the head at the same time. So I like double whapped myself. How's the nose doing? It hurt, but it's fine now. I might be fine the entire time. No worries.

I would love to see. I would love to see you do that. Next time I'm in person, you can feel my nose. You're going to feel the dexterity of it, the movement. It's very bendable. I've got a great damage-resistant nose. You know what? You guys keep talking.

I'm going to do something. I'll be right back. You guys continue without me. Okay. What do you think Jeff's going to go do, Gavin? Maybe he's going to get the water in can? Maybe he's going to get a soda and actually do it for the first time. And finally actually chug a soda.

I just feel like there's a lot of bones that you haven't broken, but for some reason you dwell on the nose as being the one that's indestructible. Well, because, like, you haven't felt my nose. If you feel my nose, you'd be like, this is... I haven't felt anyone's nose. Well, I'm telling you, mine is very flexible. What am I going to get out of, like, shoving my thumb against your nose, though? It's just like a what do you mean no the flexibility of it the lack of damage I feel like it's kind of shelled in a way that would make it very difficult to break

in any angle it's a very durable nose I everything else would fall apart around it I'm not saying I'm invulnerable as I said before if I got hit by a missile it would hold but everything else would go away do I think Eric just asked do we think Jeffff's coming back i do

think jeff's coming back yeah yeah he's coming back i don't know what he's doing though is he getting the watering can do you think he's gonna hit himself there's no way he's gonna hit himself the watering can i think i'm really gonna have to talk him into doing this bike stunt you know like the way he was talking about it i kind of got the impression he he was saying like it wasn't gonna be worth it it wasn't gonna be worth the effort it's not gonna be very good and i in my head that's what makes it better like if we go to all that effort and then he gets like inches of air yeah the least impressive it is the funnier it is that's what i was saying yeah you want it to be bottom of the barrel like barely like he gets a little bit of air in a phantom camera in the slow-mo the fact that you were getting so excited as well

just by thinking that we might be doing it i've really been pushing to get it done it just feels like something two seven-year-olds would do you haven't been pushing that hard dude i've been tech because you were trying to talk you were trying to talk us out of it and i was like look it's gonna be good either way what did you go do jeff welcome back i i felt like i didn't do a good job of illustrating what was going on with the watering can. So I took a picture to show you how I hit myself twice. Oh, it's like really narrow in the end. That looks like it could have cut you really badly. So that's what I did.

And so when I hit it, my nose hit the spout. It knocked the other part up into my brain. It's like an extreme netty part. Yeah. But see, if you look at Jeff's nose, that's a very breakable looking nose to me yours as well gavin it's kind of there's like a large area for where it could break what you're trying to say it's extended i'm saying it's not like i have a flatter smaller nose there's just not a lot of room for it to move did the top of the watery can also hit you in the forehead from the angle, or was it just the nose? Yeah, no, that's what I was trying to illustrate to you guys,

is that when I hit it with my nose, it kicked the rest of it in, and then it hit me in the forehead and the top of the head. So technically, I guess I get hit in three spots by one watering can. I just don't know how you don't see that. Yeah. Well, like you said, Gavin. Can you bend down with your eyes closed the watering can that the spout is thin and

long and black and I was bending down into grass it just didn't just didn't stick out to me you've got to put up security camera something so we can watch I didn't even I didn't even fucking realize this was gonna be content but yeah I didn't even think to mention it till Andrew started talking

about his unbreakable nose. You got assaulted by your watering can. How is that not content? It's amazing. It didn't rise to, it didn't stand out to me until you mentioned your unbreakable nose. Why do you even have a watering can like that if you have a hose?

To water potted plants and stuff. Yeah, but why can't the hose do that? Inside? Oh. I mean, that's an outdoor can, though. An indoor watering can is much smaller and less muddy than that. Yeah, but the hose doesn't travel across the entire yard, so if I want to water the rose bushes over on Millie's side of the house,

I use a watering can. Or sometimes I'll fill up the watering can outside with the hose because it's way faster than using the kitchen sink, and then I can go around and water the plants inside the house with it all right yeah fair enough but you don't want to have a giant ass black watering can hanging out in your living room so you put it outside i still i'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that a watering can threw a combo at jeff and he didn't feel it was content just didn't yeah maybe it knocked that part of my brain away i don't know here's the here's the deal andrew and i think gavin can corroborate this uh that kind of shit

happens so often throughout the course of every day of my life that it just it's just it's second nature to me i don't think about it unless i have a gavin behind me laughing at me and pointing out how ridiculous the situation is because that's like that's like every 18 minutes of my life. It's true. It's like there's a non-magnetic magnet in your head that just pulls stuff towards it. Like you whack your head on stuff like no one else.

And not on metal things all the time. It's just something about your skull that the universe likes. What was your last injury, Andrew? Have you bashed your head on anything recently? No, not a lot of head bashings. I broke my toe a while ago.

Like a year ago, I guess. That was probably the last one. Broke one of my toes. Just opened the door into it, bent back. How's that toe doing? It's fine, yeah. 100% back to... Yeah, I'd say 100%.

Yeah, I'd say it's a standard toe ankles are good uh ankles are questionable at times i did oh should i talk about this should i should i we don't know until you talk about it gavin knows what it is should i talk about this gavin i texted gavin about this before i did a thing i one of the grossest things of my life happened to me i don't remember what we're talking about. It involved I hurt my Achilles. I guess I'm just going to tell the story. This is the grossest thing that has ever happened to me is disgusting.

It's unfortunate. I hurt my Achilles and the day I heard it was like bad, but then it like kept getting worse. But the day I heard I had to go do something. So I brush my teeth at my desk i got my bathroom next to me and uh then i went about my day and then i hurt my like my my achilles was really bad i had to lay down so i was just kind of in bed for most of the time for like the next three days so it happened like tuesday finally kind of feeling like i'm mobile on friday things are good. This was during while I was building my sauce empire,

which is an important detail of the story. So I get more sauce. They get my meal, get the nuggets, get my drink. I take a big sip of my drink and I drank my toothpaste from Tuesday on Friday. Oh, yeah. I spit because I was at my desk when I brushed my teeth. I just spit it into a McDonald's cup I had on my desk, and then I spent the next three days I spent the next three days immobilized

So I didn't clean my desk at all and it was in the same cup as is the same looking cup is the new one I got with the nuggets and I mistook them and I just was like oh there's a little bit left final sip. And it was the, the spit that was the, the, it was, it was bad.

It was, it was disgusting. Where was the toothbrush during all this? I guess the toothbrush would have been on my desk. So you, you're the kind of person that when you stop doing something, you just put it down right there and that's where it lives until forever? You didn't take the toothbrush back to the

bathroom? No, I was... I... It's tough to walk. So I sat down, put it on my desk. Typically, I don't brush my teeth at my desk, generally. Typically, we do that in the bathroom, in front of the sink. I feel like brushing teeth without running water, though.

That's like... What was the state of your mouth after you gauzed it into a cup surely you've still got like you need to rinse no no that was not a good one i always rinse that was a no rinse i'm saying it was a bad moment i'm not proud of this this is an unfortunate moment what did it taste like because surely it just tasted like mint and you well so there was a little bit of root beer still in that cup so imagine like oh it gets grosser it there was like a little bit of root beer when i spit into it so it tasted like old root beer and then immediately that mintiness of toothpaste and it but i i took like a hard sip because it was just a little bit less i was like i need to just you know like really suck on this one. And then I swallowed it by the before I even taste anything.

Then I had the taste. You swallowed it? I swallowed it. It was disgusting. It's the most disgusting thing. I can't believe you cut it down. Well, I didn't taste anything. The consistency must have been all wrong.

It was instant, Gavin. Like it was a huge. It was just like there was no it didn't it spent no time in my mouth. It was like looping a track down your gullet Yeah, just it was because it was the same exact fucking cup, and I just put them in the wrong places It was tragic. It's disgusting. It's imagining you a white wine tasting like oh How was the mouth feel and you like the what I? Think the grossest thing that's ever happened to me I felt sick I felt like I had contracted

a virus as soon as it happened I didn't know what to do it was like that just I can't reverse I think I would have thrown up did you did you have any little any pushback from the I think my soul left my body like I was no longer a person after it happened and I processed what I had just been through you had an outer body experience you likeated out, you looked back down at yourself, and just thought, I'm disgusting. It was just, yeah, it was like, it was an unintentional, gross, it was just unfortunate.

It was an unfortunate accident. If it helps, buddy, I've been there. It's disgusting and terrible, and it'll haunt you for years, but you will get through this. Oh, I'm never getting over this. I haven't had root beer since. I will never have root beer.

It could kill a root beer for you. I did something similar that killed Pepsi for me for a long, long time. When I was in Kuwait one of the times in the army, my boss used to dip all the time. And everybody's got a story about how they accidentally drank dip, but I fucking did as well. And he used to spit it into this Pepsi can. And I picked up a Pepsi can that was three quarters full because my pepsi can was three quarters full and it was in the desert in quait so i didn't expect it to be cold because there wasn't a lot of air conditioning so it wasn't cold so it didn't strike me as odd and then i

chugged the entire three-quarter bottle and then everything went wrong all at once and i had like a moment of levity where i i took the pepsi can down and wrong all at once and i had like a moment of levity where i i took the pepsi can down and i looked at it and i thought my brain figured out what it was and i just kind of looked at it for a second and then i and then full realization came and i just turned to the right and i projectile vomited across the office oh yeah people gotta just stop drinking the dregs of stuff yeah and what's with all the spit like i i won't spit anywhere unless it's gonna slip down the pipe with water like what gauzing into a candle and into cups that disgusts me alone it's those tobacco chewers man that's what they do

the candle was an exception i needed there was nothing else i didn't opt for the candle that wasn't my place of choice of a bottle though yeah but the bottle still had liquid in it i didn't opt for the candle that wasn't my place of choice of a bottle though yeah but the bottle still had liquid in it i didn't spit in that that's where the liquid came from why the candle you didn't i've been over this before gavin i'm a fucking violent vomiter it is aggressive there's no way i'm getting that all in the bottle it's shooting everywhere i just needed something i can put my mouth over you can't you can't like spit through pursed lips there's no no i, everything was coming up at that time. I couldn't, I had to go into the candle.

There's nothing else I had in my desk. I'd go into my hand before I went into a candle. A candle's way better than a hand. Is it the same candle that you burn the waffle air freshener in? It's a different, it's a different candle than the waffle. Does the candle still function? Oh, no. That candle is...

Is the waffle one or the spit one? The spit one I'm sure is fine. I haven't used it, but I'm sure it's fine. But the waffle one is... Why do you have so many candles in your bedroom? I'm a candle guy. I like to keep the fire going. He did say that.

He's a candle guy. I like to keep the fire going. I just feel like it's bad for a bedroom. Unless you're trying to do like a romantic gesture. Oh, it smells nice. I'm not allowed to have a nice smell in the space. It smells nice, but maybe he's romancing the Casio. You never know.

A bedroom is just way more flammable, I feel like, than a normal room. I got a fire extinguisher. Not worried about it. I don't like it. He's got a trash bag full of extinguished fire extinguishers. I like the idea of keeping his fire suppressants in a black bin bag. Just sprinkle some of the bag on. Just opens the bag and kicks it all over the room.

I don't have a fire extinguisher, but I have the ingredients of a fire extinguisher. That would be interesting to see if just the powder in a bag would actually do the job could we put out a fire with it what a weird what a weird yeah something's on fire shoot it on a bag and then pad out the fire with the bag it's an unnecessary step hey by the way what was it like to burn that uh waffle air freshener? So that's the thing. So as talked about before, I have a smoke alarm right above my desk, which went off when I tried to cook desk dogs.

I was very worried about the logistics of the thing. That's why I left, because I lit it, and it just went up in smoke immediately. I then sprinted to the patio, and it went out briefly, because it fell into the wax, and and they had to relight it there's a whole process it smelled terrible it was not good it wasn't as bad as

the freshener itself maybe the worst smell i've ever encountered but it was it's a bad smell we had a funny moment uh where i at this point it was like six months ago we did that second break show i can't i don't even know where this where we are in the timeline right now but in it we we had some fun fucking around with the air freshener and like sticking it under each other's chairs and stuff because it is intense and then uh i thought like this kind of a funny way to to promote this thing and you know maybe people buy it and you know it's silly and dumb and maybe they can you know like grumpy old minute to their friends like i i suggested or whatever and then after it was over eric came to me and he goes, yeah, Tony just texted me and was like,

hey man, really appreciate all the promotion on the waffle freshener, but it's been out of stock for a while. Should we reorder it? Yes, please. I didn't realize. That's the most face thing

I could think of doing is spending extra time promoting a product That's unviable Then everyone hates anyway Yeah then everybody hates I enjoyed F*** face break shit part 2

I liked it yeah it's a lot better than the first one It was the most nervous I've been To do anything related to this show I would say by far For the second one? For the second one yeah Why is that? Cause the second one for the second one yeah why is that because i i the first one i just i didn't i don't know i i hmm i mean you're an immediate disadvantage by

not being there because yeah so like so much like 90 of that is just shit happening on the table yeah you're limited in what you can contribute i understand so it's it's yeah so it's like a layer of just not liking my performance of it and then i like had a massive anxiety attack during the first one and uh it was just so it was stressful doing the second one but it was a lot of fun maybe we shouldn't do it no i love no i love the second the first one was like the most draining thing i just hated my performance and you guys were great in it but i don't know it's just it was a weird thing well well i i understand i understand that spiral of self-hate and doubt i

i feel it that's why i stopped listening to the podcast again after i started listening to it because i can't fucking stand me yeah and every and every episode that i would listen to where i would talk i would say well that's the worst episode we've ever done but i'll say from my end andrew both episodes, I thought you were great. Didn't show at all. Had no idea you were going through some shit and it wasn't reflected in your performance. I agree.

I'm thinking maybe we should wear headphones then so we can hear Andrew in our ears instead of on a little telly behind Eric's head. It's like the timing of it is a little different than doing a thing. I don't know. It was just stressful. I felt like I let you down and I didn't want to do it. Like it wasn't you guys were great.

I didn't think the stream was bad. It was more of a place of like, oh, I don't want to let you guys down in some way, especially something that you're so passionate about, Jeff. So I was scared going into the second one. Oh, you didn't let us down at all. No, I feel like it's hard for you in that situation because you're not in the room but also because like if if time goes by where you haven't said anything for a while because we like focus on the table or the cards and stuff it makes it puts pressure on whenever you chime in again for it to be something bigger

than it is if you know what i mean yeah it's a weird timing thing where sometimes like the room flow is so good i don't want to be like you guys are doing like you're riffing and I come in with a fucking cowbell and it just is completely out of like that's sort of my you guys were great. So it was stressful, but I had a lot of fun. I wanted to also just credit somebody in the community. Julie Aria made my Eric Bedore thing. I meant to talk about that, but I just I collapsed after we did the first brick shit like it was I was drained. I felt terrible

Yeah, dad makes two of us anxiety filled They're on YouTube if you've not seen them. Yeah, but either on the Achievement Hunter YouTube channel Although it may be on the face YouTube channel at this point if that's a thing Eric, please what yeah, Eric says they're both on the face YouTube channel. So there you go Okay, well, that's good to know that we've never talked about but i think exists at this yes it does it came out i think today yesterday we have a youtube channel but it's just the episodes right and then the break shows and we've got some ideas for things here and there as well okay i'm trying to go into my images so i lit the candle on fire you guys ended the second break shit stream and i

came back to a terrifying image it was a close-up shot of the zimmer bear just on its side like i had no context now we got there i didn't know what i was looking at but it was just my full screen was just zimmer bear sideways which is a terrifying image i watched for like 30 seconds i think you were just boxing shit uh jeff at the end of the the show i oh yeah but it was just like the most disturbing thing to come back to i burnt this it was like i don zimmer was mad at me for like lighting the waffle thing on fire dude you uh you sent me a an article i think i don't know if it was this episode or last episode we were talking about zimmer and you were talking about learning about his life and some of the you know about him being in the coma and stuff

and i think you got a lot of that from that article about his life and some of the, you know, about him being in the coma and stuff. And I think you got a lot of that from that article about his wife and how she scrapbooked his entire career. And she seems like a phenomenally funny and interesting, charismatic lady. But the craziest thing about that was, was you sent me the article and it's just a picture of her in her like office with all her Zimmer memorabilia and right smack dab in the middle of it. You cannot miss it is the fucking Zimmer face that we have behind me in face.

And I could I laugh for like two straight minutes. It's so hard. Once you see it, it's all you can see. And it's so fucking funny. It made me want to read his books more because and maybe there just is nothing outside of baseball, but it's so tough to find information relating to Don Zimmer that isn't somehow wrapped in baseball. made me want to read his books more because and maybe there just is nothing outside of baseball but it's so tough to find information relating to don zimmer that isn't somehow wrapped in baseball he got married on a baseball field like it's his whole life is baseball um yeah 100 just a

fascinating i was you know i was trying to do research i was trying to figure out what foods he liked and it's tough and i stumbled on this like random excerpt from a book that is like baseball superstitions i read the story of it was like in I stumbled on this like random excerpt from a book that is like baseball superstitions I read the story of it was like in the 30s for a baseball team and This team went on a winning streak and the coach Demanded that all the players eat what they ate on the first day of the winning streak and this one guy down like a whole Glass of prune juice that day and so for every day he had to drink prune juice like a full glass of it They went on an eight game winning streak So it's like eight days in a row or i guess yeah i guess they're

back-to-back games he had eight days of prune juice and he's just miserable it's like the most excited he's ever been to loose like he faced himself it's just he happened to have prune juice on the day of a winning streak it was like some random coaches like keep doing what you're doing every day and fucking prune juice every day be terrible never had that no i've never there's no reason we you know we should do we should all before we record the next episode of face we should all get prune juice and then we should and then see if it makes see if we have a streak see if we have a good episode what is a prune but it's a plum, is it? Yeah, I think that's right.

Dead plum? I think it's a dead plum, yeah. I have no idea what a prune is. What is a regulation amount of prune juice? We need to... What are we doing for size? It's a raisin plum. Yeah, that makes sense. A raisin plum.

Wait. Not like a grape. Could I... I'm not sure what is confusing about... That makes sense. A raisin plum. Wait. Not like a grape. Could I? I'm not sure what is confusing about like Gavin said it. And then what's the confusion? A raisin is a grape that is dehydrated. Yeah, it's like the raisin equivalent of a plum. So raisin is just a term for dehydration in fruit.

Okay. Yeah, I didn't know that. I assumed raisin was its own thing. I didn't know it was a general term that could cover other categories. Well, at least, at least in the Achievement Hunter world, that's the case. I don't know in the larger world. Is Humpty Dumpty an Easter thing? No.

Because what we did... Speaking of... Okay, well, there's a reason for this. When we did the Break Shit 2 stream, speaking of things or moments that pass where you can't comment, somebody mailed a bunch of packs very kindly to you, and you're going through the packs, and one of them was Easter-themed,

and it looked like a giant egg, which I assume was Humpty Dumpty, and I never really thought about the fact that Humpty Dumpty was an egg which then made me think is humpty dumpty an easter thing i don't really know the origin of humpty dumpty so i just thought i'd ask i don't think he lived long enough to find out i just it's uh i just wanted to ask is this it came to my mind we're talking about this i don't know how i got there but i was just curious i didn't think he was i never i've never associated humpty dumpty with easter it's part of the easter pack though well i just i never thought about the fact he

wasn't because who would try to put an egg back together when you break an egg there's no well especially we're using horses of course a horse couldn't put an egg back together oh yeah that's really weird that the horses were involved i don't know what part the horses were in on i always assume they wrote in, but you're right, the wording. Do you think that when they said all the king's horses and all the king's men,

they're talking about the king of kings, God, and this is a whole metaphor where not even God could put Humpty Dumpty back together? He's so broken? I think that's a bit

slightly deeper than what they were going for. Yeah, no, I never even considered who the king would be. That makes it religious because Easter is a religious holiday. Maybe that's the angle into Easter. Ah. So was he always an egg or was he a man that died

and then became an egg to make it more nursery rhyme friendly? Humpty Dumpty. Was that a nickname? What is the story behind? What is the origin? This is Vin Diesel 2.0. googling humpty how old was humpty dumpty during the first fast and furious yeah we're in the fast and furious portion of the humpty dumpty doesn't give away the fact that he's an egg it's not like eggy on the wall no it's humpty dumpty it's like a great name for a camel there's a pissed off camel somewhere he can't use that name through the looking glass has the Humpty Dumpty stuff in it and in chapter

six Humpty Dumpty is apparently he becomes more the egg only got larger and larger and more and more human what so wait an egg started inflating oh no that's terrifying hump so you're saying that i could have got humpty dumpty in a carton was his origin like he started standard regulation egg size of a dozen eggs yeah he's just part of a pack and he grew it predates the Lewis Carroll story. Huh. Okay, sorry. We didn't have to veer off completely at Humpty Dumpty. I was just curious.

It just popped into my head. Oh. It says, as with a lot of these iconic old tales, though, things aren't as they seem here. Not at all. Incredibly,

the original Humpty Dumpty wasn't an egg. He was probably a cannon. A cannon? Yeah. The original story predates Carroll's take on the character. According to a number

of military historians, Humpty Dumpty was the name of a cannon used by the royalists during the English Civil War. The conflict ranged from 1642 to 1649, and in June of 1648, Humpty Dumpty was stationed on the walls of Colchester.

It was one of several cannons erected to try and keep Parliament's army from taking the city. Dude, Humpty Dumpty saved your country, gavin i just like the idea of someone knocking over a cannon it rolls off a wall and that became a pivotal moment in human history for decades and centuries to come the cannon is named humpty dumpty yeah yeah uh let's see on like a little raised portion of the ground? Someone got killed by Humpty Dumpty. The next month, however,

the parliamentary forces heavily damaged the walls beneath Humpty Dumpty with their own artillery. You can guess where this is going. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, broke into pieces. As for that business of all the king's horses and all the king's men, it seems like those lines can be taken quite literally. The royalists or cavaliers were very much the king's men fighting

in support of King Charles, who would go on to lose the war, yadda yadda yadda. So, interesting. So, that's a good point. How many people did Humpty Dumpty kill? He was probably a mass murderer. I'd assume so. Yeah. Can you imagine sending horses in to fix a cannon? That's

more unreasonable to me than fixing an egg with horses. I would never send horses for a cannon. Well, no, it's more unreasonable to me than fixing an egg with horses i would never send horses for a cannon well no it's more unreasonable to fix an egg because a horse could do a lot more damage to a broken egg than a broken cannon yeah but i feel like it's just gonna make it work no i feel like a horse you just kind of gotta line the egg up right like if you're fixing a cannon that's a mechanical level you're gonna need tools a horse can't hold a screwdriver right yeah a horse can't hold a screwdriver right yeah a horse can't hold a wrench and a screwdriver that's why yeah that's well i guess maybe in its mouth it could

there's probably ways that this could work but the problem with it's the great the great uh failure of a horse is that it doesn't have opposable hooves that's what's it's what holds it back it does i'd agree with that. out of the last day how about a 4 p.m late checkout you just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply speaking of break shit and cards i have a i have a thing i want to share with you guys that I've been sitting on a while. I talked to Jeff briefly about this. I don't, it was quite the,

I stumbled onto William Shatner store. William Shatner has a store and it is a strange thing. You, it has stuff on it that you'd assume it's got things from his past. I'll just, I'll link, I'll put some links in. This is something I'm going to buy.

I don't own a tie. I'm going to buy a tie from the William Shatner store. It's from boston legal it was worn by somebody who was in what episode once i'm very excited about this is that different to boston less or boston rob and they're all very different things they're completely okay but they're the things you can get on his store he's selling a hall of fame award on his store uh if you just want to own his broadcasting hall of fame one of a kind you could do that but maybe the most egregious thing this is what made me want to explore the absurdity that is william shatner's store he's selling star wars merchandise he just gives no fucks i feel like that that'd be like a huge thing that he wouldn't do i feel like there's a

kind of line maybe it's changed over. I'd love to see those links. They're all in the chat. Set of six danglers. I don't know what a dangler is. The other great part... I don't see them. No, they're not. All I see is Eric's shit. I don't... Which chat are you in?

No, I'm in my... Oh, they're vanishing. My links are now vanishing. Suddenly, what is going on? What is happening to my link? Is Shatner issuing real-time takedowns? He does hate Gus. What? Why can't I...

There we go. There we go. They're coming through. They're coming through. Okay, there we go. Okay. Why does he hate Gus? It's Gus's story to tell.

I think he told it on the RT podcast, but he did a panel with him and somebody asked him a question or somebody asked a question about Shatner and he didn't like the question, so he unfollowed or he I think he told on the RT podcast, but he did a panel with him and somebody asked him a question or somebody asked a question about Shatner and he didn't like the question. So he unfollowed or he blocked everybody that was on the panel. So he blocked Gus on Twitter, even though Gus has nothing to do with him.

That's Ty. He's selling Star Wars merch. Um, but what makes it great? Hell, he's just selling like weird stuff. He writes, he writes the bios for like all the products he sells.

Like when you read the Star Wars, one of my favorite things bios for like all the products he sells. Like when you read the Star Wars, one of my favorite things, you go into the description of it. These ships in the set appear to be from Star Wars Episode 1,

The Phantom Menace. Like they don't even know. It appears to be. They're unsure. Andrew, you can buy at the William Shatner store a William Shatner Archives

1991 Hollywood Walk of Fame card. That's what I was getting to as far as the cards go look at this amazing card he has two different cards on his store I'm gonna post it here look at the grin he has he looks happy

he looks like a man ready to sell you frozen goods I could see that on the side of like a frozen frozen like sausage box maybe a series of like breakfast heatable goodies uh i would say he's starting to look similar to don zimmer in his old age in the way that the face the features of the face like retreat back into the skull how old is shatner at this point he's gotta be gonna be pushing the 90. He's close to 90. He is 90.

He turned 90 this year in March. He's got great innings. The other card, the 1991 Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm more of a fan of the 2017 Tops Allen and Ginter card. Oh, the Allen and Ginter, yeah. I like the 91 because the toupee is on point there. Let's look at it. I didn't notice. You think there's a toupee uh for about 40 or 50 years now he said one thing dude that's all i gotta buy that card

or i gotta figure out if there's a pack that i can rip it from to get that i mean these all kind of make sense right like they're in they're within the realm of of He's got TJ Hooker merch? Oh my God. He's got some TJ Hooker merch. This is where we get, like this is the real gem of the William Shatner store. He just sells DVDs that aren't his,

that he has nothing to do with. Is he like a distributor for other people's stuff? I don't know. Is he just selling his, is it like his own eBay where he's just grabbing crap from his own cabinet? It's everything that he has in his collection, apparently. Like when you read info about it.

But $1,900 on a 2005 broadcast award. Yes. Who's that for? We've got to... It's unavailable. We've got to find this and watch it together no yeah that I was gonna get to that

splat attack is something I'm very excited about the second one is on YouTube splat with two peas is he is he have a paintball gun he's playing it's William Shatner playing paintball as a movie it's

and it's not it's not a movie it's it's his tale it is like a documentary like it's not a movie. It's his tale. It is like a documentary. Like, it's not scripted. It is about how heroic he is. It is, yeah, sadly, this is the only way to get Splat Attack. The captain is back in an action,

oh, in action, in the ultimate paintball showdown. Bursting with DVD extras. Splat Attack Is simply unreal A weird and delightful display of film Crossing over somehow into the real world Armed with paint Shatner doesn't Sit in some celebrity tent

Surrounded by agents and studio Producers instead Even though the man is in his 70s He literally in all caps Takes command and races Out onto the field to lead troops to the battle. He's on the front lines,

blasting away at the enemy, wiping out more experienced players with the bat of a hand. There were no special privileges for the Supreme Shatner. Far from it. Instead, just like his alter ego Captain Kirk, Shatner charges in while others fear to tread,

even when his men try to hold him back. Yet like Kirk, even against the possible odds he somehow succeeds do you think he's fighting the alien that's in the top right of that image yeah I was looking at it goes on the left it's just some humans wearing paintball gear maybe some parachutes then a big alien yeah then a big old alien there is a trailer for this and yes he is fighting that alien he also comes in via parachute he enters the people match via a parachute mechanism of some kind let me find this flight attack trailer i really want to watch this i'm glad everyone else appears to be on board oh my god we need to buy this movie i feel like we should buy the award as well and just have it as the F*** Face Podcast first award and it's William Shatner's 2005

Broadcast and Cable Award. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. How much is that award going for? It's $1,900. Ew! Eric, we're gonna need you to buy that for us. I feel like I wouldn't even want to buy his Oscar for that. Why would you want

someone else's award? It doesn't make any sense because someone has his name on it. For $1,900. It's a one of one, it's one of one here's the trailer for splat attack please enjoy it's very good i'm very excited about this oh watching it do we need sound ah it doesn't hurt he returns to action action Shatner underscore log he's flying in is this shot on video camera 4x3 on video what's going on

is there a Star Trek outfit from what I can tell he maintained his superiority by only allowing people to play paintball with him that were invisibly worse shaped than him. I can imagine working on this as like an extra and thinking this is beneath me. Oh, man.

That's fucking. Tanks, riot shields, a referee. It's got everything you could possibly want in a movie you know what's amazing that has been living on the internet for a while just being awesome and we had no idea until andrew found it thank you buddy it it was the weirdest uh thing to discover it's just like also here's another thing he has coming out party for sale he's the only place you could buy hell on wheels season one unwrapped, like unopened. Like he's just selling an AMC show for some reason.

It looks like he shot this paintball movie, but didn't get the rights to any of the paintball logos. Like everything's blurred out everywhere. Oh my God. Fandomstore.com. What is that? I have no idea. I did not explore.

I think it might be the answer to... Oh, it doesn't exist. Never mind. Log on. Well, it's out of print, as they said. Yeah. But even like... So I just...

I posted a link for Coming Out Party on DVD. It's a stand-up special. This is how it's described. One-of-a-kind stand-up comedy. It depicts seven gay guys hilariously explaining their personal and their friends. Coming out story. A great comical stand-up comedy based on real life stories. Each comedian takes his hilarious time on stage.

Like, what does that mean? Like, that is, I looked at the Amazon description. It is nothing like that. I love Shatner's editorials. They're just, they're terrible. So, it's Shatner selling other people's products and by the looks of it, guessing what they're about without actually watching them? Largely.

Yes. Just assuming. Making assumptions about, you could buy, this is another, you love collectibles, Jeff. You're a big collectible guy. You can get an Emmy screener for Shatner's Ronner, which is the Kelsey Grammer episode, which ties back to this showner, which is the Kelsey Grammer episode,

which ties back to the show. We've got some Kelsey Grammer stories in the past. It's true. It's a great connect. But like once again, a

strange thing of at the end of the product description. These are from Mr. Shatner's archives and are marked with archive stickers on the reverse. The episode on the DVD

is the Kelsey Grammer. That's how they wrote it. We suggest you keep them sealed as this show was never on DVD and they will only appreciate in price given their rarity. So do not open it.

Buy this disc from us, but do not open it because Shatner's archive of Shatner's Ron Irv with Kelsey Grammer is going to skyrocket in value. Oh, that's fantastic. It's just a weird thing. I recommend exploring the store store i'm sure you'll find strange stuff there it just seems like an endless well of bizarre i emailed the store i have yet to hear a reply back but i hope i do be careful there's no refunds by the way on the entire store there are no refunds some of it is very aggressive they sell they have like a category

of things called items for a penny and you cannot get more than two of them and they're very you could get a splat attack poster though if you want for for one penny uh yeah that's eight by ten we'll put that on the break shows that's that's set stuff right there also batman forever enamel pinback earrings a thing he had no involvement with like once again he has no ties to batman forever he's not in it i don't know why he has that he was ep on some of these well that's the so the question is is that a paramount movie because they have when you go to the contact us page on his store they have an address and they say don't visit this place but this is the address don't come here it's not public and i looked it up it's just paramount studios is his address. Don't come here. It's not public. And I looked it up. It's just Paramount Studios is his address.

So I feel like he just has like a corner of like some lot of Paramount and it's just whatever they have in there he's selling. It's a weird thing. I bet you there are other strange celebrity stores, but I've never encountered anything quite like William Shatner's. Yeah, this one is this. This is pretty fantastic. It also it's like it, this one is, this is pretty fantastic. It also, it's like,

it's of a time, right? Like, this looks like it was designed in 2003. Yes. And maybe it was, and it's still working, I guess, right? So, I wonder if he knows

he has a store. I bet he does. He's still pretty active on social media. Yeah, he's pretty active, but I wonder if, like, does he know he has a store or do his people

run it for him? You know what I mean? I don't know. I'll tweet him about it. What's his name on Twitter? Is it William Shatner? Oh, you can get a Playmates Grand Nagaszek Ferengi action figure. I don't think he ever dealt with the Ferengi, but okay.

We'll see. We'll see if he gets back to me. I bet you he blocks me. If he engages with that tweet at all, it will be a block. Just looking at some of the props he's got for sale i'm excited to buy the ties i hope that nobody scoops the ties up well buy it now uh no i gotta i'll wait add some suspense you can get a luke and leia swing to freedom diorama they have more star wars stuff i didn't know that they had multiple star wars things i only saw if you click on other franchises you can get Stan Lee's Mutants Monsters and

Marvels that's out of print as well there's some Battlestar Galactica toys there's an Andy Griffith show DVD uh everybody remembers the Rachel Lee Cook movie Sally that's in there no replies to the tweet yet

from Shatner no replies to the tweet we'll see would you like to buy boston legal prop joan zelder's employee of the year from 2004 season 2 there's fire i don't know who joan zelder is i don't know if that was a random character oh yeah it was it was a random character in the show 150 maybe this is a cheaper award we can buy than William Shatner's Broadcasting Hall of Fame that was just I don't know I it's one of the weirdest things I've encountered so I've wanted to share it for a while now and it just kept slipping out of I feel like I got lost in it for a little bit good going down a Shatner rabbit hole could I I've I got one more you're speaking of like things existing on the internet that people just don't know about. Uh, I had another discovery recently that I,

that I feel like it feels very internet. It feels very much like rap for Jesus. Uh, but undiscovered. I went through and I listened to every state song and I ranked them. I did a whole list of state songs. I listened to all of them. Some states have multiple songs.

Tennessee is like eight different state songs that I went through and one of their state songs This is not the state song. It is the official Bicentennial rap of Tennessee. I'm gonna post like here this I'm imagining the woman in the thumbnail is rapping This is delightful. It only has like a very minimal amount of views like ten thousand twelve thousand views The internet should know about the Tennessee bicententennial rap how did you find this well because I was going through state capitals why were you why did you decide to do that it was a jeopardy trivia question of what state has eight capitals and the answer was Tennessee and I was like I should listen to all the Tennessee capitals and then it evolved to I should listen to every state capital and rank them all and determine what it what state has the best capital

song I got listen some of this this is the best rap song I've ever heard in my entire life it's good it's something. It's very good. Jackson, Polk, and Johnson 3. Goddamn. I really like Whiskey Whiskey Sipping Smooth. Moon Moon Pies. Here's a question. This was from

1996. Do you think she's still alive? I believe that she is an eternal being Jeff I don't know it was yes not it was 15 years ago this song is just a list it is God what was the budget

for that do you think I don't probably the same as the show I'd assume maybe she'll go have these on us on the Shatner Award. Shatner Award. Yeah. Dude, so you've ranked them all.

How long did this take? Oh, this was like, I did this all in one evening. It was probably like six hours. The best one, and it almost feels like it's cheating to use like known artists, but it's West Virginia's Country Roads, Take Me Home. It's a great, great song. It's a state song That's a state song that is the state song that is the official state song of West Virginia's country roads Number two once again. It just feels like sort of cheating. It's Georgia on my mind by Ray Charles specifically is Georgia state song

The worst on my list is Maine State of Maine. Maine State song. Terrible. I'm going to guess it's choir. I ranked a lot of the choir songs pretty low. Not into that kind of music. Not into that kind of. It's just not like you kind of there's kind of a limited range. I will say that like as far as surprises go, New Mexico has a banger of the state song.

How does it go? Old Fair, New mexico it's just it's a vibe like it feels like it should have been a breaking bad it's a great let me uh let me see if i can find oh fair new mexico what qualifies as a state song like it was written specifically for the state it was written specifically for the state and typically they vote to have it be like the official so like lynyrd skinner singing about alabama that wasn't written for the state no that was not that is not they did not go through the process to make that the state song i think new jersey doesn't have a state song and it's like they agreed that they were gonna have one but then the governor just didn't do the paperwork so it doesn't have something like that. Like you just forgot. There are like three or four state songs that just stole the music from Oh

Christmas Tree. They just are like, this is a great instrumental track. We're going to swap the lyrics. Yeah. There is like four of them that are just that. It was quite the journey going state by state. But New Mexico's Oh Fair New Mexico.

Let's see. is this the yeah this is it i mean you don't have this is a four and a half minute song i don't think it's necessarily worth listening to all of it but it's uh it's a banger as far as state songs go oh fair new mexico yeah oh i like that the i'm telling you it's a fucking it's a banger of a song nice guitar work you don't want to listen to four and a half minutes It totally sounds like it should be a Breaking Bad Like one of those cold opens or something Yeah it feels like a Breaking Bad

It sounds like it could be a song about Heisenberg It does Dude this song is awesome It's a great song It's very high on the list of today's songs Great Hell yeah it's the home of the Montezuma this is great i did that and then the next thing i did see this was when we took two weeks off and i just missed you guys that i needed

to fill like activity as it's doing things i listened to every single original song oscar winner and ranked those as well so i got a full list i've listened to every song that has won an oscar for original song i've been in the same boat as you. I just keep taking photos of Pedro Martinez baseball cards and scanning him into Photoshop. I'm excited to see the end result. Yeah, but this is this is a way more exciting way to spend that that idle, bored, lonely time than what I was doing. This is awesome. So the worst, apparently the worst song. I don't even remember what it sounds like.

But the movie is called Papa's Delicate Condition, Call Me Irresponsible, 1963. The worst Oscar song of all time. The greatest Oscar song of all time is from Tarzan's You'll Be in My Heart, 1999. There's some songs that I'm surprised didn't win Oscars on the list. Those are great, great pieces. The Oscar one took longer. The States was one night. Oscars was maybe four or five days.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to publish these lists somewhere? I don't know. I just wanted to build the lists. I guess I could publish them somewhere. I feel like now that they exist, they need to be the official f*** face list. Yeah, I'm just surprised you went with these

songs as your first great f*** face lists though. I feel like different dressings would have been one of your very first lists. Well, I'd have to go out and buy dressings. This is just me on YouTube. I just listen to things. It's a lot easier. I could just do this from the comfort of my bed going through listening

to songs. There are songs I didn't realize were movie songs like Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. No idea, but that was the Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kids song. I that's a good ass movie dude a bunch of christmas songs like white christmas that's a movie song that won an oscar that's from uh holiday inn isn't it uh white christmas uh where is that from it's funny doing these because you set lines like there's the shaft line there was the uh mona lisa line these different what uh yeah holiday and white christmas you're right 1942 not not age great that one

no i guess not what what has at this point it was interesting listening to baby it's cold outside like the verses were reversed than what is commonly done what like male female reversed yeah like it opens female and then it goes male and then it like it goes back and forth where traditionally when people hear that song it opens male and it kind of stays male but the the roles reverse uh within the movie and within the singing of the version that won an oscar it's fascinating it's a very historic a very historical episode of F*** Face. Yes, the important history of Oscar movie songs and William Shatner's award history.

And we got to the bottom of Humpty Dumpty. Don't forget that. We did. We sure did. I like that we never know what an episode is going to be like. Yeah, we popped the can on that controversy and got into uh eric eric wants us to start stopping so uh okay we should probably does anybody have any any uh any shit they want to cover before we stop do you think shatner's selling any pieces of the

humpty dumpty cannon i want to buy some of his hair i I want to buy like an old hair piece. We should start selling stuff from the show. Like you should cut up your watering can and start selling pieces of it. I want to start selling the cards we break, you know? Like I was thinking I could put in a, and like, you know, they have different display cases for cards.

I could put your ice ice baby thing that you made, which was a vanilla ice card, a vanilla ice card a vanilla ice card and then a picture of a rad dude baby i think i can put those next to each other three by you know in a glass case and sell or plastic case and sell that sucker on ebay for fucking dollars yeah not as much as william shatner's broadcast award probably not but you know you never know you gotta start somewhere oh also before we wrap i want to do one thing uh when we were we were talking last in person i guess it would have been that break show eric mentioned in passing just like i don't even know what the context was but he mentioned again how

long it takes to get dry with a blow dryer out of the shower and once again reminding me that he misunderstood the instructions of that and so when i was taking a shower this morning i thought i would do something uh is what i something. I mentioned this last episode, I had some bad bathroom insights. Very small, very minor. But I thought I would dry myself like I normally do, but I timed the process to see how much blow dryer you should be using to dry yourself off.

And it's 29 seconds. So if you're blow drying more than 29 seconds to dry yourself, then you didn't dry yourself off enough with the towel so i mean for a six foot tall man who weighs roughly 175 so it's the blow dryer just to remove the clamminess post towel yeah it's just like to hit those little like the crevices that are still kind of wet and gross and to give you a night because you're already blow drying your hair and then like then i noticed like oh my beard's full of water so you blow dry

your beard and that feels good and then the water goes down to your neck so then you blow your neck and then before you know you're like oh if i could just continue this down i feel better i feel great i'm not trying to i'm not trying to dive back into season one content or anything i just thought for posterity's sake because it bugged me that he just walked out of a shower sopping wet and tried to dry himself off and then as if then as if my technique was flawed, so I dried myself off. You feel an electrocution risk. Yeah.

So what you should do, dry yourself off, and then about 29 seconds or so is about the amount of time you should be under the blow dryer. And if you're doing more than that, you probably didn't dry off enough. Why don't they build a hair dryer, why don't they build them into the shower heads

so you can just flip from one mode to the other? Dude, I think that thing might exist. I mean, our bidets do it for our buttholes right it's true and i once used a uh i think it was a dyson tap in a bathroom above the sink and you get the water out and then it switches to dry mode and it just fires air down into the sink at all the water and blows it all over your shirt it It's a really great invention. Also, this morning while I was doing that, I realized another this and maybe you guys are already doing this. Maybe I'm late to the game. But if you're not, I want to throw it out there because at 46 years never crossed my

mind. We've been out of Q-tips for a while. We ran out. We keep forgetting to buy them at the grocery store. So we bought some Q-tips last night and I got so fucking excited to use the Q-tips. I dual-wielded the Q-tips and when I was doing it, I realized I've never done that before. I've always been a

one-ear-at-a-time Q-tipper. Dual-wielded it. It's a little stressful because you're doing two things at once, but talk about a time saver. I've cut my Q-tipping time in half. But that's all bullshit. It doesn't do anything. It does nothing but push wax against your eardrum.

The shite. You shouldn't use it. No, it takes the wax out. That's why it's on the Q-tip. No, you need the wax in there. We need some wax in there. But the excess wax is what is pushing down and impacting. Nah, I'm not doing that. Very bad for you. Especially two at a time.

I've had to fart for two hours. Can we end this? I need to... I need... What's going on with Andrew? I've been holding in a fart for two fucking hours. Can we end this? Just let it go.

What do you mean? Well, I've been holding it in. Why are you holding it in? We can't smell it. It doesn't matter to us. It would be loud. I don't know. I didn't want to interrupt.

I don't know. You have a loud fart. All right. Well, let's end it on your fart. Andrew, fart us out live. We'll fart it out live andrew this is well you know the pressure of farting now like trying to capture it so it's going to be a disappointment but i'll try two hour fart hey thank you for listening to face uh we're going to end on a high note we're going to end on a two hour fart. We'll see you next week. And I released it a little bit because I thought we were

wrapping it in our Q-tips. Sounds like someone punching a cup of mud. That was so wet. It sounded like a soggy engine trying to turn over. It sounded like you're trying to start a lawnmower. Oh, why was that so good? It was just really not disappointing at all.

And it came over perfectly through Discord. Oh my God, that was so loud. Did you like tilt up to do that? Or was that just where you sat? No, no, I put the microphone to my ass, but I don't know what I did. I've been ripping homers for like the last 12 hours It's I just can't stop. Oh I don't know dude, but that was definitely a homer. Oh my god. Yeah Zimmer would be proud We've become a fart podcast. I think we always have been.

Yeah, but we weren't doing them. We weren't doing them on the recordings. Oh, God. I don't think we could have asked for a better ending.