Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell... Volume 14

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

As we take a very short break for the autumn half term - here’s a selection of some of our favourite chats about (mostly) parenting misadventures with previous guests…  Episode Playlist: S6 EP35 - Mike Bubbins S6 EP28 - JB Gill S6 EP16 - Sara Cox S6 Ep34 - Jim Jefferies S7 EP17 - Jess Fostekew If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. And you're listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell.

Hello, Mike Robbins. Hello, hi Josh, how are you, mate? Hello,'m Rob's here as well. Hey Rob, how are you? Hello Mike, thanks for doing this. We're very excited. My pleasure, you know, nothing else to do, literally nothing else to do. Oh I'm sorry about that. Well I'm waiting for a town planner to come around. Oh yeah? That's my day. A town planner? I'm not gonna plan a town. What plans have you got? I'm going to build my own new town, Bourbon's new town in the South Wales area. Maybe the Welsh Milton Kings are kind of late. Pure roundabouts everywhere.

What's the town planner coming round for? Yeah, what are you doing? An extension? No, I want to build a garage for my classic cars. Oh, here we go. But that sounds posher than it is really. They're just old Fords and old Pontiacs. But where's that? On another bit of land or by your house? It'll be in my house but it's in front of the front of the house you see Rob, so planning-wise. It's a grey area.

Okay, and that's what he's coming around to have a look at. It's quite a high-pressured chat that, isn't it? Oh, big time, yeah. And there's also a tree preservation order to negotiate. Oh, okay. But they don't understand you're trying to preserve your cars? Well exactly mate, you know, my car is to me what that tree is to a wood sparrow. And when's the sparrows meeting? I don't stop them building a nest do I? I think it's hard to know how sort of like charming or sort of matey to be with that town planning time

You know people that they have a hold over you. Oh, yeah, if they can say yes or no to your plans I can never get it right. I always feel like I'm going too hard. Yeah, it is hard not to over Over try as always. Yeah. Hello mate, you alright? I'll come in. Do you want a cup of tea? Yeah, do you want a cup of tea? Where do you want to go? Anything I can do? Does this guy hold your future in his hands or is he trying to help you? I think he's trying to help me. All right, so he's not making the decision.

Well, he can tell Josh that I'm a kindred spirit. I'm interested in preserving the character of the area as anybody else. Yeah, of course. You love that tree. If I can do that while chopping down trees and building a garage, I will. Yeah.

I don't think anyone could accuse you of being too modern, Mike. There's no way that anyone's going the problem with Mike Bovens is he's got no time for the past. Well we should explain your vibe to sort of new listeners Mike because you know you're sort of, well you're good pals of Alice James who's been on the pod a few times. You're obviously a parent which is why you're here, another stand-up comedian but also you're very 70s aren't you in your look and your style. I do like that era, Rob, yeah. I like the cars and the telly and the clothes.

So what are you wearing today, Mike? We can see you, but... I'm just wearing one of my typical type of shirts. This one's probably a little more dressed down than normal. I'm wearing a moustache. I'm wearing sideburns. I'm sat in front of a rather large portrait of Bert Reynolds in Smoky the Banditit and a 70s table. There you go.

So I would argue for the listener to picture it, on a normal day for you, you could be mistaken as someone heading to Butlins for a 70s weekender. Yeah, or like, you know, like Ron Jeremy, who's someone got lost on the way to set. Yes. Yeah, I think he's got lost and gone to prison recently

on a current app. Yeah, well he's been disgraced. I mean, it was bad enough being compared to him before. You know that porn star you look like? Now it's got worse for you, I'm afraid. Yeah, it's good news and bad news. We should probably talk about your kids at some point. But I want to use that to lead into your child.

Okay. Does your child, sorry, what have you got? You've got a boy who's 12, right? Something like that? He just turned 13. Just turned 13. My little girl's 10. Lovely. Your little girl's 10. So how do they feel, because when I was growing up my dad had a ponytail and I found that that, you know. Yeah, you've been tied with the same brush then haven't you? You don't like difference when you're a kid and your parents. No. How do they feel when you turn up in your Ford Cortina from the 70s dressed as Ron Jeremy at the school gates? Is that something they're excited by or? My son gets moderately embarrassed by me, I think. Yeah.

My daughter is of an artistic bent, like I am, so she will happily go to the shops dressed as a wizard from Harry Potter or a roller skates on. She doesn't care about that stuff. But my son, I do try to keep embarrassing him to a minimum, but I mean, there's only so much I can do. Yeah, of course. My face is my face, my clothes are my clothes. What I'd say though is you're personality wise, very sort of gregarious, chatty, and you know, obviously you're artistic and sort of like flamboyant in your outfits and stuff,

but I'd put you down as sort of quite a normal Welsh bloke. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think. Like you can chat to anyone. It's not like you sort of go off on weird flights of fancy when you're talking about stuff, you know. You like a drink, you like the rugby, you like sport. That's quite a Welsh dad. Sue me. Ellis and Steph, I did the other pod with, are amazed that I spend, when I finish gigs, I tend to spend an hour or two having a drink with everybody after the gig.

Really? Do you? And then on a few of these tour gigs, I've gone to the pub with the punters as well afterwards, and just had a game of pool and a few pints. It's been lovely, yeah? Bloody hell, Mike. Great, isn't it? Because I'm at that level where we're doing decent sized venues. I couldn't do if I was doing the 02. I'd have a bloody good go at them. Near the big punt table. But we've got like a 200, 300 seat of theater, nice perfect size to go on the razzle with the punters.

Now, one thing I know from your Instagram is you're parenting wise, I don't think we've had this yet, you are the coach of your son's rugby team, is that right? I am. I have been since they were under sevens and they're under 13s now, yeah. And what's that like as a job? What are the other parents like?

The parents are very nice, it's a nice club. The other thing that you might not be a parent from Instagram of course is that it's a Welsh language rugby club. Right. So my son's in Welsh language, I don't speak Welsh, I'm a Welsh learner, so I do try to coach them in Welsh and English, which is interesting. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say what's one of the most like common things you say, I played football growing up and it would be when you're young, stop bunching, stop bunching. So I don't know what the equivalent is in rugby when they're young, what is it they're

doing a lot of? You might say edrych yfyni, which is look up, so you're not playing with your eyes down, look up. Pasioch ar y chweeth, which is pass to the left, pasioch ar a there, pass to the right. Aros, stop. Stop. Fuck off, what you do? You didn't do that in training. I thought stop was a raf. Was that raf slow?

A raf is slow, yeah. A raf. That single F is a soft F. It's like a V, Rob. Yeah, that's from the motorways. A raf. A raf. A raf, okay, good to know.

Because when you drive into Wales, you get told to a raf a lot on the motorway. You do, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, it'srav. Okay, good to know. Because when you drive into Wales you get told to arav a lot on the motorway. You do don't you? Yeah. Yeah, it's absolute arav frenzy. I think English comics always make a hilarious gag about giraffes, usually at gigs, which is always funny. Giraffes?

Oh no, that's poor. Yeah, yeah, I know it is poor. It is poor. That is weak. But some people haven't got the chops and they panic. That's life. That's it mate. I'm guilty of the same thing, you know. And we will win that. Do you worry about being seen to give your son special treatment in

the rugby team? I feel bad for him because there's a fellow called Dave Young who coaches Cardiff and he is son plays as well. And he talked recently about he felt he went harder on his son to not look biased. And that's a real balance now. I will pick him up in training more if I pick up other kids. I will say stuff to him during a game that I might not say to other kids. When we go home, I have to say, listen, I'm not picking on you, but just there's things I can say to you that I can't say to other people and they'll listen to me saying it to you and in my stick of it. But I love him. It's hard though, isn't it?

I feel like to drop him from games. No, he's lucky our best player. He's like his dad. Yeah. I mean, cause that's the issue, isn't it? For the good of the team. Oh, yeah. If he's a good player, then that takes that pressure off you. If he was crap, I wouldn't coach him because I couldn't face it. So when did you realize he wasn't crap? When he got picked for the City of the County, sort of a year early when he was like nine. So he was playing under 11s when he was nine.

Right. That was fine then. They went to Dublin on a tour. It was great. I went over with him. That was his first trip away from Wales really. It was a rugby tour. Oh wow. Two nights in Dublin with a family that I even never had a sleepover at a base house before.

Oh really? And then he's, I'm getting this rugby club in Dublin, meeting this Irish family and he's off for three days. Yeah, it was weird. Very strange. It's good though sport. It does help them like, you know, with working in a team, experience new stuff and things like that. Well, I'm an ex PE teacher, so I'm always going to be a bit biased.

But I mean, I do think it is the best thing for kids. That wasn't going to be team sport, but just doing something where you, you know, you've got to work hard and there's a bit of a meritocracy going on. And is there a chance he's going to make it? Are you looking at a professional rugby player here potentially? He could be if that's what he wants to do. I'll get his head down. There's no reason why he can't do it. He's got the talent there and he's

got the physical attributes of all course well. You know Pubet he's a big big deal in rugby isn't it? He's a difference maker at that age under 13, under 15. There's some players, big hairy nuts, plowing through other teams with no skill whatsoever. Well I've always worked on him with the passing and the kicking because there's nothing worse than that, mate, when you see it. Yeah. You know, and some parents love that and they go,

ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Oh, it will drive him mad, I think. He's learning nothing, mate, and there's any other kid on that pitch. He's just being bigger. Yeah, and he'll be bigger until he's about 15 and then everyone will catch you up and then just be the crap kid with no skills.

Yeah. Are you having to deal with touchline parents being wankers? Unbelievable, mate. Really? And don't believe the hype that it's just football because that is not true. I didn't know there was hype. Well no there's a sort of... Rugby fans think they're good don't they? There's a bit of a snobbery with rugby that people think that you know... Oh that gentleman playing... There's absolute bollocks. A sport for hooligans by

gentlemen and a sport for gentlemen believe... Yeah yeah well yeah. I hate rugby. Thanks mate. No, do you know what? I hate English rugby. Yeah, English rugby. The same way when you go to Scotland, Ireland or Wales, it's a totally different sport played by totally different people. There's an elitism in England with rugby. Yeah, very much so. Rugby league's different. Whereas Welsh football's got those poncy twats like Ellis James, that's where the poncy winks are.

Awful. Those glory hunters. We don't even have the good decent to live in Wales. Proper plastic Welsh people live in London for their extra dollar. Yeah. Well, I think that's why Ellis James goes over the top with all the Welsh language stuff, just because he knows he's not really Welsh anymore.

I got nothing to prove, mate. I got nothing to prove. He's lived in London longer than he's lived in Wales. Yeah, of course he has. What does that make him? I'm making less money here because I love my country. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, well we're very excited by this. Do you want to go first as to why you're excited, Rob, and then I'll say why I'm excited? Well I think you're more excited than me, not to go in hard on you JB, but my wife is obsessed with JLS to the point where this is quite problematic for me, because when

I said I was going to you, she screamed a way I've not heard her ever scream, like she was 17 again, going, oh my god, JB, he's my favourite, like a way that a child would say about you. And I remember I got caught in about two hours worth of traffic picking her up from a JLS concert years ago. So it's difficult for me because you're a good guy. I'm very happy you're doing this, but your success has impacted me in negative ways in the past. But hopefully we can move on through this as Josh also is a huge fan of your second career as it was. So I think we can get through that pain Josh don't you think?

Yes, yeah. All I'm gonna say is I love Down on the Farm. He's obsessed with it. Love it. So who's, are you happier, Rob's wife is a fan of you or that I'm a fan of you? What's your preferred? I mean I'll take them both. Of course, like you say Rob, I can understand. I've had lots of reports of people and boyfriends and husbands who've had similar, let's say challenges. You should have just come to the show. You should have just come to the show.

She'd rather be married to you. That's the elephant in the room here. She'd rather be married to you. That's what I'm saying. Well, if you're right, you don't have to worry because I'm married as be married to you. That's what I'm saying. Well, it's all right. You don't have to worry because I'm married as well. So it's all good.

I'm off the table. Right, okay, good. Okay, that's good. Yeah, let's let that we can move on now. There's no threat there now. Is your wife a fan of Rob Beckett? Yeah, she is. Like we sat down and we watched a few of your bits

to be fair, Rob. Well, that's helping. Yeah, I'll be honest. I can't quite say that she's your biggest fan. Let's move on from this rivalry now and let's talk about the kids. How many kids you got JB for the listeners? What's the setup at home? I've got two.

So I've got a boy who's eight ace, obviously he's the first. And then I've got Kiara who's four little princess. She's brilliant. She's good fun. She's my youngest and yeah, we've just got two, one of each. And you live on an actual farm, don't you? Yeah. You live on a working farm, not to take it back to the farm straight away.

So did you move out there because of your family or how did that come about? Yes, I mean, just to give you a little bit of background, I've grown up really in South London pretty much most of my life. What abouts, JB? Well, so when I was about four, I used to live in the Caribbean for a little while, because my mom and dad used to work, actually born here, but they worked up in Antigua until I was about three or four. And then we moved here again, well, they moved here for work. And I went to primary school in Toles Hill.

Oh, that's just around the corner. This is getting worse. Luma bumping to you. That was my old bumping ground. Right, where are you now? When I was about 13, we moved to Croydon, so South Croydon. Okay, that was my old bumping ground. And then... Right, where are you now? When I was about 13, we moved to Croydon, so South Croydon.

Okay, that's closer. We were there till I was about 20, what was I, 24? And then, yeah, we moved out to the farm. So we've been there 13 years now, coming up. Nice. Do your kids love the farm? Yeah, do you know what? For me, just to, as I say, paint that picture,

it was before we had kids, but we were definitely in that phase of, you know, we're me, just to, as I say, paint that picture, it was before we had kids, but we're definitely in that phase of, you know, we're looking to get married, obviously looking to move in together and so on. What kind of lifestyle did we want to have for ourselves and for our future for our family? And at the time, I mean, I was so busy with JLS, like, you know, obviously, as you can imagine touring a bit, you know, if you're up and, you know, you're away and you know, you've got lots going on and you know, lots bit like, you know, if you're up and you're away and you've got lots going on and lots of projects, lots of TV where everything's happening. And as you can imagine, didn't get many days off. So for me, being able to have like that one or two days in a three, four month period where you actually could do nothing, you know, it's all about

being outdoors in the countryside, you know, being able to go for walks. You know, we had a dog at the time and take our dog for walks, stuff like that. So that kind of became the foundation for it. And then when I was about, just before we were about to have, no, just after, sorry, we had Ace, that's when we were approached by Dan on the farm. And I'd actually had the farm set up for a couple of years by that point. So we had that pigs on site, we had turkeys and stuff, which we still do commercially. And effectively, it was just a case of, you know, how can we make this space that we've had, we've got about 15 acres here, useful, you know, long story short. And I spoke to previous

owners and I did a bit of research on the area and, you know, on soil types and all that interesting stuff. You're in it hardcore. This isn't just like a couple of animals. You are on soil types is unbelievable. I believe just how much difference it makes. Clay soil and very clay where you can very clay. Yeah, we're in Kent. Yeah, you're in Kent. Oh, Rob, we're going to be neighbors down the road. But yeah, do you know what?

So obviously, you know, there was a lot of research to be done and not really coming from a farming background. It was a massive step, but you know, as I say, I was always incredibly passionate about it and then went down on the farm, came along and obviously then Ace came along around about a similar time and you know, then all of a sudden it became less about me and then more about the next generation. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So, you know, as I say, for me, it's such an incredible industry to be able to support, you know, we don't have the biggest farm in the world, but, you know, we have a bigger voice than most farmers, you know, and so for me, it's always been very, very passionate about utilising that

voice in any way that I possibly can, and being able to shine a light on, as I say, what I think is a fantastic industry. And do you think Lou would be good on the farm, Rob? Ah, let's move away from Lou. What about Jeremy Clarkson? What do you think about him? Be fair! Do you think he's planning for mission should a cop put through? I know. To be fair, Jeremy's been asked a lot of questions, and I mean, he's absolutely adored by the farming community. Yeah.

But he asks a lot of very important questions, you know, and there's certain things where you just think, why is it not like that? Often it takes someone who's outside of that industry who hasn't grown up in it, who isn't just doing it the way things have always been done to pose those questions. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and similarly for me, being able to see shows on television, whether it's streaming sites, whether it's documentaries, whatever it might be, somewhere where it's been accessed by mainstream media is really, really important. Do you know what I mean?

Not just for people to appreciate sort of food and where it comes from. You know, one of the things that I saw through the lockdown was, you know, all of a sudden our appreciation for food and how it gets to our plate has completely changed. When we walked into the supermarket and we couldn't get eggs and we couldn't get flour, we were like, hold on a second, we were about to bake our 50th batch of muffins and there's

nothing that we can't use, you know what I mean, we can't use any flour. And so for me, just being able to have that conversation in a place that's not a political debate or on question time or whatever is brilliant. It's amazing. I'm a huge advocate for it. Yeah, of course. And I'm sure the kids absolutely love it. You know, the perfect age with all the animals and being in the countryside.

But you've traveled the world, you know, with JLS. You've been all over the place. You've lived in London and stuff like that. Are you worried that when they get to 16, 17, they're just going to be like, see you later. I'm going. I'm prepared for that, really. That's got to be the worry, isn't it? Yeah, it's probably true. I've been prepared for that. But for me's got to be the worry, isn't it? Yeah, it's probably true. I've been prepared for that.

But for me, it's about that mindset, you know? And it's like with anything. They don't necessarily need to go into the farming industry, but if they have an appreciation for it, they'll think differently. Do you know what I mean? And even now, you know, we talk about, you know, over producing beef and cattle and the rise of veganism and all that sort of stuff. They're all good things.

You know, it's not to say that everyone's all of a sudden become a vegan, but actually for me, there's value and balance, do you know what I mean? And being able to have those things and people actually thinking consciously about, hold on a second, should I not have a couple of days in my week where I don't have any meat? Yeah, that's a good thing to do.

Do you know what I mean? It's not a bad thing. And so for me, if my kids can grow up around that and grow up with a love of the countryside, grow up with a love of animals, grow up with a love of, you know, farms and farming and things that are really important for all of our futures, for me, that goes a long way.

And whether they're involved in health, education, politics, arts, entertainment, whatever they end up doing as sort of their main career, and I'm sure they'll go on and they'll be incredibly successful, I want them to be able to use that position in order to help our society. Do you know what I mean? Not just from what they do, but also from, you know, food is an incredibly important part of everyone's society.

Do they know about where the meat comes from? And so did that freak them out? Did they still want to eat meat after or did they not want to eat meat? Cause when I was eating lamb once, I told my daughter where it came from and she was horrified with me and didn't speak to me for like two days and she refuses to eat it. I don't know, I mean, I've always grown up

cooking with them, like, I mean, Ace was, couldn't even walk and I would, you know, have him sort of, not obviously cooking with me, but you know, have him in my arms and, you know, tasting a bit of pasta and telling me if it's cooked yet or whatever. I've always done that with them and told them where their food comes from.

Bless Ace, I mean he's been on the farm with me when we've been out there with the turkeys and you know lost 50 or 60 to the fox and it's just... Fucking big fox, one fox. It probably was more than one but I mean... I was gonna say that fox needs locking up, done 50 turkeys. I mean you can imagine what it's like around here. Yeah. I mean literally I walked in and they were all outside

the pen, which was good, but it was just a massacre. Oh God. And there was nothing you can do about it. And if you leave it out, it just attracts more. So you've got to just deal with it as soon as it happens. Oh my God. So you and Ace were clearing it, you had your eight year old was helping clear up.

He wasn't even eight, he was like five and it was right before he was going up. Oh my God. Obviously he wasn't picking them up, but you know, I'd say listen just hold the bag there for me I got he's got to go Clive was away at the time. We didn't have Chiara Literally, I was looking after him wasn't I sighs. I told Clive bless. She didn't have a go at me, but But you know, I mean that's just you know, that was an earlier day

She won't happen. But you know, I mean, that's just part, you know, that was in the earlier days. That's life. That's part of farm life and it is tough, you know, and it's difficult. And, you know, that's one of the reasons why I always try and, you know, use my voice as much as possible because there'll be people who that 50 birds

or whatever it might be is literally their profit wipes out for the year, goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. Hello, Sarah Cox. welcome to the podcast. Me and Josh are very excited. You've been on the hit list. Yeah. Oh wow, is that a good hit list?

Yeah, it's a good one. It is a good hit list, yeah, yeah. Of people we want and think will be good. I can see a cat in the background as well. One of my many pets, a frustrated daughter of a farmer. So I can't have any cows or goats. So I just have as many small things as I can wandering around.

So you were actually a daughter of a farmer. I didn't know this. Yeah, my dad's a beef farmer. He still is. I mean, he's 80 years old and I ring him and I can hear the rumble of the tractor. Hey, up up, just shoveling cack. You're in a minute. So are you in London? Yeah I'm in North London. I mean I love London. I've been down here longer than I was up

north but a little tiny bit of me still has that little pipe dream that one day I'll have a small holding and a few more dogs and you know ponies for the kids all that. What kids have you got before we start? What ages are they? Well, I barely qualify for this podcast really. My parenting is nearly done. Wow. Well, it's a bit of an exaggeration. The youngest is 12. Some would argue a quarter of the way through. Yeah. I hate when people go, it's a Northern thing, but I think I am quite like, you know, nah, done now. You know what I mean? You can make a toastie.

My parenting's done, you're free. So 12, 14 and 18. Oh, wow. And what's your 18, is he or she at uni or working? This September, she will be at uni hopefully. We're very proud. However, that means she's living her fresher year while still being under our roof essentially.

Oh, okay. And she's not really wild. She just loves making things with curry powder very early in the morning before college or very late at night. What do you mean making things with curry powder? I really love Indian food and Indian flavors, but she makes these big veggie curries. She uses our house, you know when you hear about dark kitchens where people just have like a kitchen on an industrial estate and that's where they're churned?

Yeah. Basically, we'd oversee her all weekend and she just comes in and curry bombs our entire kitchen with all these lovely aromatic smells all night and then in the morning it's all still there and she leaves it all out. And she just, she's basically living a student life but at home because you know, the circle of life, she should be winding up her housemates and stuff or in halls of residence with this behavior, but instead she's still home.

Oh God, I'd have hated to be at home. When I left I was in halls of residence. It was freedom. Yeah, this is it. I mean, well she's doing a really brilliant thing. It's amazing to do a foundation course with her. Then you know what you want to do and she'll go to a good uni hopefully in September. But I'll really be like, you know, mixed shoving motion. Bye, love you. Does she want to go somewhere? Yeah. Yeah, she's as well. She's ready now. She's ready to leave the nest. She's fully feathered.

Legs are dangling over the edge of the nest. You know. Would you want her to go up north to sort of reconnect with her northern roots? Like you say, you've been down here for so long now. You've probably got three little posh Londoners, haven't you? I know. They still say back. Do they?

Okay. That's the thing. Yeah, it's the only thing. It would be quite nice if she went on a nap, I was saying that to her actually, especially you know, because she can then get the tram over to me mum's and go and see her little grandma. I thought it'd be quite cute, you know, go and see the family up there. How will you react on that day when you drop her off? Get absolutely leathered, I think. Celebrate! I'm not going to shoot! Before we bought the house that we're in now, we were looking around this area and we looked

at one house and there was a lady there and she had the same age as you really, 12, 14 and 18. And we said, oh, so where are you going then? Because it's quite a strange time to move, I think, because they're all in secondary school and then uni is sort of an odd. And she went, oh yeah, well, what we're doing is she's going to university in um Canterbury so we're gonna move down to Canterbury so she'll be near to her and I was like what wow wow she doesn't want that you know someone says something to you in their house and you want to go are you fucking insane but you like go right okay and I

was like well what about the other kids do you move every time they go to uni? Because it's unfair to move for one or they all have to go to the same uni. But she was very much the other end of the spectrum with dropping off for uni as you are, Sarah. I mean, wow. I think it's healthier your side of the fence. Look, I might be all gung-ho now. You might speak to me in a year, well, come September

and I might be devastated, but I doubt it. I mean. You don't have to pretend it. I I mean she's had enough of us, you know she's very, she's a real independent spirit you know what I mean, she knows that she's fully loved. I mean it's the same, you know, when my mum comes down here and I drop her back off, well I don't even drop her at Euston anymore, I pop her in an Uber, did you see it? When I pop her in the Uber, she's had enough of me and I've had enough of her. Yeah. We're a bit like, you know, it's just a bit like, I love you, but we're done now.

So she'll be off. Yeah. Yeah. When my parents come and tour of me to Australia, New Zealand, and on the way back from New Zealand, it was like 14 hours to Singapore was in Singapore for two hours, got delayed an hour, three hours there. And then it was 14 hours from Singapore to London because they couldn't go over parts of Russia, obviously, because of the war. And then we landed and then we sat on the runway for two hours because there was nowhere to park the plane because it was a big one and needed us and all this. And by the end of it, I was like itchy to want to escape and get away. And I sat there and then my mum then over went, oh, look, my neighbour, whatever her name is,

she's gone to see Mamma Mia. And it was a bit hard to apologise later. I went, why do you think I give a fuck about what your neighbour, I don't even know your neighbour is, I don't know what she is, I don't know where she is and I couldn't give a fuck. I can't believe that.

But they just bombard you with information you don't care about your parents. Yeah, it's when that inner monologue slips out. That's what you're often thinking anyway. You know, Carol, a daughter was in the year above you at school. You know, Jenny got a limb. Be emotional, anyway. And then they'll tell you something complete. She tripped over a lamp or whatever it is.

A gray end's not well. Like, you just say, I don't care. But yeah, you're slipped out after that long not well. Like you just say, I don't care. But yeah, you're slipped out after that long together. Yeah, I'd say, yeah. Or she goes, yeah, it's her anniversary next week. I'm thinking I might get him a present. All right, yeah, okay.

What do you think about that rather than say it? What was that old, is Tempe gonna ring someone who cares? It gives a shit. I mean, I used to think my mum was absolutely a cracker. Is Tempe gonna ring someone who cares? He's gonna give you shit. It's like, yeah. I mean, I used to think my mum was absolutely a cracker. I'm like, why does my mum care about these little things, like, you know, about, you know, whenever I left a mess in the kitchen or whatever.

And now my eldest woke up this morning to a naggy text and a follow-up analog handwritten note in the kitchen as well. Really? Going, rinse these dishes, wash this. This wasn't very pleasant at 6am, making a cup of tea next to all this smelly stuff. Salt this out. And anyway, I was speaking to my husband and he goes, did she sort it out?

I'm like, yeah. But she left just one splodger curry sauce about two inches to the left of the note that I'd left her in the kitchen. In real life. Okay, fuck you. I'll do what you say but I'll just let you know that I don't care as much as you. I've stuck a picture with a splodger and everything. Do you know what? You won't remember this Sarah but for some reason I've got a memory of you parenting which was sounds when we yeah this is weird when we did the crystal maze together about ten years ago and there was a break and I was sat there and I remember hearing consecutive phone calls from Rio Ferdinand to his kid and then you to must

be your daughter now and he was really talking about how this kid had played in the football. Did they win really competitive like sports dad? And then I just remember you saying to your daughter, yeah, if you've done all your work, then you can go to Sprinkles. And that's all you said. Go to Sprinkles. Sprinkles is legendary. It's shut down now. What is Sprinkles is legendary. It shut down now suddenly. What is Sprinkles? It was an ice cream parlor, like pancake parlor, you know, and it shut down because we're British and we're like, who wants an ice cream parlor? That's too much, you know.

But you came across as a very chilled out parent. Is that fair? You know what, despite the start I've made with this chat, I am actually pretty chilled. My husband's much stricter with me, but I think it's because she's so big now that it is some sort of primal instinct that like, you know. That she could beat you up. Yeah, go and spear your own mammoth, you know, out the cave, you're grown now kind of thing. But otherwise, I am pretty chilled really.

What about with going out and stuff? Like, you're asking a lot of questions like who she's going out with, where she's going, or are you relaxed about that as well? Well, to be fair, on my home screen of my phone, I've got all three and my husband. I've got their locations. Oh, have you?

On my phone, yeah. Wow, like spooks. Like the real hustle. No, is it like Meet the Parent, where he's got that little spy room? I just go into it. I press a painting on me wall and it flips. So you've got all their locations through, like, No, is it like Meet the Parents where he's got that little spy room? I just go into it. I press a painting on me wall and it flips.

So you've got all their locations through the message thing? Yeah, they're all there. So I can see exactly where they all are at all times. Wow! It's really good. What's that app? It's just widgets that you get on your own screen on your iPhone. And you can just put the widget of like...

For location. So it's so nice. My eldest is pretty good, but it's nice if I wake up at like 2am or whatever and just glance at my phone and see that she's at this address. Yeah. Or you know, her mates house. And it hasn't come back on her that she goes, but you were the ultimate ladette. I know where you were going.

You used to go out all night before the Radio on Breakfast show. I've not even got to get up to broadcast to 10 million people. I know where you were going. You used to go out all night before the radio on breakfast show. I've not even got to get up to broadcast to 10 million people. Sometimes there's a bit of sappy syndrome where it used to be where she was a bit more sensible. She'd come down and me and my friends if we'd had a party or whatever might still be up or something. Well, that was a long time ago. Oh, they still got... Remember that time you're really drunk in a beather, mom? You were so funny by the pool in the morning.

And I'm like, oh God, I told ages ago, I really want to do a men in black, vroom, in front of their eyes. I get that. But now, yeah, I guess with their outfits, I'm fully, you know, as a parent, when your kids are growing up and they're finding their own style,

your stock response is, you look amazing, babe. You look great. And my mum always said it to me when I was going out in my terrible, like, second-hand fake leopard print leather jackets and John Lennon sunglasses. She'd be like, you look great. She must be like, in the back, behind my back. And now I'm like fully encouraging with my kids. I'm like, you look awesome.

But if there's quite a lot of cleavage happening sometimes, I don't have a leg to stand on, behind my back. And now I'm like fully encouraging with my kids. I'm like, you look awesome. But if there's quite a lot of cleavage happening sometimes, I don't have a leg to stand on because you can literally Google me falling at the Met Bar with, you know, looking like I've got Bill and Grant Mitchell down my dress and can just be like evidence presented to the court. So yeah. You can't really say much, can you? No, not got a leg to stand court. So yeah, you can't really say much, can you? No, not going to like them. Welcome to the show, Jim Jefferies.

Thanks for having me, lads. I appreciate it. We're very excited to have you on Jim. Yeah, we are. And you're well, it's not so much that you're excited. We hear that the reason you're here is kind of parenting related. Well, it's very parenting related. My mother-in-law, so obviously my wife's mother, she is, this is her favorite podcast by a mile. She goes on about you two all the time. That's our demographic.

Yes, that's the way in. And so she kept on going, oh, you have to go on this parenting podcast. I would make my date, my year, if you're on this parenting podcast. My daughter came in, because I don't do many podcasts, I said right away. So I'd like to give a shout out to my mother-in-law Beckett who, ah, Beckett.

No wonder it's her favourite. Becker, Becker, Becker, who lives in Burgess Hill just outside of Brighton where my lovely wife was brought up. And so she listens to this podcast. So I'm I'm doing it to talk about her grandchildren Love yes. Yeah, how many gorgeous out of how many kids you got Jim? I got two kids I got I got I got one that's a year and ten months or nine months and I got a ten-year-old Right. Nice two women, two different women, but me ex lives just up the road and we all hang out together and when me and the wife

go out my ex babysits for us and everything. So we're all very good. Oh wow, what a great setup. That is, that's unheard of isn't it? People are weird about it. Whenever they hear that they just, people would prefer to you go, oh I hate my ex, she's a bitch or something.

That would be more comforting for people than to go, I think she's a lovely person who helps us babysit. She's one of them. We're all family, man. We're all taking care of these kids together. That's lovely. I think maybe the gap helps with that, doesn't it? Yeah, completely.

If it was three months apart, she might have the arm. Oh yeah. Yeah. I assume both of them. If it was three months apart, she might have the arm. Yeah, I assume both of them might have been upset with that one. My son's not, you know, he's at the age where he's just happy to have a sibling, you know, like he's not jealous or anything because there's enough of a gap. But I remember he asked all the time, like, can he have a brother or sister? Can he have a brother or sister? Can he have a brother or sister? And I kept on thinking, like, do you like this house?

And one day, do you want all of it or half of it? This is a choice you're making right now, just for a bit of extra company when you're a kid. Because obviously you're from Australia and then you met your partner in the UK. Now you're in LA. Well, my partner's from the UK, but I met her in LA. Oh, you met her're in LA? Well my partner's from the UK but I met her in LA. Oh right you met her in LA, sorry. So she's from the UK, you met her in LA. So what, your child, well your children, what are they, are they just pure American?

What's their accent, what's their attitude, what they describe themselves as? The 10 year old, you know obviously has has an American accent, plays little league baseball. Yeah. You know, but occasionally I hear him, he'll be playing Fortnite with his friends and he'll be like, hey, go around the back, shoot that guy, cover me, cover me. And then he'll go, good work, mate. And I'm just like, it always sounds funny coming out of that accent. But I got him an Australian passport. We go to Australia all the time.

The baby I haven't got any extra passports for, but I think we'll get him probably an English one. So we've got all of our bases covered so we can all be spies and travel around the world with our multiple passports. And what's it like with kids growing up in LA? Is it kind of Hollywood? Are you in Hollywood? Is it starry?

Yeah, look, my kid goes to school and I won't say any names because I can't really because in the school, but all the kids at my kids school are all the parents are all movie stars and professional athletes. I say, wow, famous musicians and stuff like that. Oh, I want names so I know you can't buy one name so much to. I'll tell you as soon as we get off. you can't buy one name so much to. I'll tell you as soon as we get off. That would be great. But no, no, my kid goes to some very exciting birthday parties.

I will say this one because we're not at the school anymore. But my kid used to go to preschool with Gal Gadot's daughter. Wow. And he never, I don't think they were friends or anything. And I was always trying to push a bit of a friendship because I wanted to go to that kid's birthday. So what's like pickup like? Is it, are they,

or is it all just people sending nannies or you just stood there with X, Y and Z? There's a lot of nannies and a lot of, you know, Rolls Royces show up, but it's just, it's like, look, it's not more expensive than any other private school. It just so happens that that of, you know, Rolls Royces show up, but it's just, it's like, look, it's not more expensive than any other private school. It just so happens that that's, you know, this is, and I assume all the private schools around here would be the same thing, you know, it'll be movie stars and what have you. Have you been to any of the, like the Christmas play and stuff must be

absolutely, the competition to be the lead in that must be incredible. This is the thing, I go watch the Christmas concert and I think these kids should be better. They're all from showbiz families. Like they should have picked up something. These kids are all loved and pushed. I don't think we have any, you know, King Richards or Joe Jackson's in the school. Yeah. Yeah.

No King or Queen makers. Exactly. Exactly. Everybody's already made it. They're just like this. You kids can sit back and enjoy. Cause you had a great routine that I still quote to people and it makes me laugh about, you know, when you grow it up,

you didn't have all the fancy holidays and nice lifestyle. And then you managed to get lovely holidays. And then you turn around and the routine is your kid sat there at like two years old enjoying this amazing desert island holiday. And you'd be resentful. Do you still get that? I'm still resentful. Yeah. We went to Hawaii the other day and we had to change our flights to fly back, right? And I said, oh, we can change the flights, but business classes sold out, right? And my son said, well, how would we get home?

There's another classmate. When you see them, like they're sitting in business class in a bed and you see some six foot four walking through with a pillow around his neck, just sort of scrunching through. And he looks at the two year old sitting in the chair and it's like, dude, I get it, man. I resented it. As soon as the kids are old enough to take care of themselves, out the back you go. I reckon I'm about a year away now before I just send them to like the shocking truth of life. Do you tell them about your upbringing?

Do they like, do you tell them stories about what it was like for you growing up? My son, he loves stories about me and my brothers beating each other up. He thinks that he'll go, can you tell me a story about when uncle Danny hit you? Or so I told a story about my brother chased after one of my other brothers in a fight with a golf club and he started hacking into the door like, like, you know, something. So my dad decided that we weren't responsible enough for doors and he took all the doors off. This is like height to height of puberty when you're really, your doors your best friend. We're sitting there, we're putting blankets on the door, with about two years, doorless.

Where did he put the doors? Did he sell them or did he just put them in storage? We're sitting there, we're putting blankets over the door, with about two years, doorless. Where did he put the doors? Did he sell them or did he just put them in storage? He just took them off the hinges and put them in the garage and they just sat there until he wanted to screw them back on again. But my son loves stories like that. Any story about getting smacked by your parents,

because it's so foreign to him now, the idea of a large woman chasing you around the house with a wooden spoon my son thinks that sounds like a cartoon character and i'm like that was how it was you clench your thigh as hard as you could you take a few hitings until eventually the spoon would break and then you just laugh at her and that would make her even more enraged like that was was, that was some good stuff. Funny cause I look back at it with a fondness. I'm sort of like, I'm glad that sort of happened.

Have you taken any of that into your parent? Like, can you ever imagine confiscating the doors? Oh yeah. I reckon it was a, it was, it looked, it was a punishment that stuck. I never fucked around with doors again. I to this day have real respect for doors and what they give it. Do you do much of the discipline? Are you the taskmaster as it were? Yeah, I do.

But the big discipline now is you just take away the wifi or whatever. That seems to be the first go-to. I started out with that whole the naughty step thing, which I never understood when they're very little, when you do this. All right, you're on your naughty step. But someone would sit there and cry and he hadn't figured out that I've never hit him. So why doesn't he just get up and walk away? What was this magnetic pull? Like it was a house of cards that I was like and you have to sit there. What would

have happened if he didn't? I don't know what I would have done. Well my daughter just walked away we had to just abandon the North. The first time we put on the naughty steps she just went upstairs and you're like well game over. You know that was it. That was it, it was gone. Well, what do you reckon is the top disciplines you can do for a kid, say, under four? There's not much you can do. It's difficult, no. The steps are all you've got if they respect it.

Yeah, if they respect it. You can confiscate a few things. You can go, all right, you're not getting blah, blah, blah, but that's the thing. Yeah, like treats, no treats is quite a good one. No treats, no treats. No ice creams and stuff like that. I sort of heard it the other day,

my son broke something by accident, he broke a thing. I was just there and I normally don't give my kids ice cream all the time, mainly on special occasions, but I do eat ice cream after they go to bed or by myself. There's a lot of treat giving that I give to myself, like the amount of fast food, because you're not allowed fast food, but my car's filled with fast food bags, right? And if I throw them out in my bin here, it's too obvious. So I've got to chuck

them in like the neighbor's bins and I'll tell you stuff so that I don't get caught not practicing what I preach. You know what I mean? So the other day he was in trouble for breaking something and I really wanted ice cream. And so I just got it out and started eating it. He goes, can I have some? I go, no, part of your punishment is you have to watch me eat ice cream. I would have waited the extra hour until it was bedtime.

I just got it. You're on this massive tour at the moment. You've just done the UK, but you're doing like the rest of Europe. You're off to all over the place. So do you do that on your own or do you take the family or what? Do you have any rules on how long you're away? Well, I used to take my oldest boy right up until he started proper school. I used to take him everywhere with me.

He used to come on the road everywhere. And then once they start school, it gets trickier, you know, and I try not to gig in the summer because that's when the school holidays is. So I try to actually have a family vacation. But I took the wife and the baby to the UK because, you know, Becca, hello, you're listening, because my mother-in-law took care of the baby whenever we needed. So that was a no, because we don't have family here. So that's what's good about having my ex up the road that we needed. So that was a no, because we don't have family here. So that's what's good about having my ex up the road that we're all family, we can all help. We don't have any grandparents or anything like that. And then for Europe, it's just, it's a different city every day. So I'm not going to put the kids through that. You know, I mean, there's always like this whole

idea that it might broaden their horizons or so. I took my son, I did a tour of Australia last summer and I took him on the road and I was going to teach him work ethic or something like this. I was going to give him some job to do on the road and I couldn't think of anything that didn't involve like a hard hat or his day. He couldn't help set up any of the crew stuff. It's like he can't do sound check. There's not a lot for a kid to do. So I let him bartend in the dressing room, right? And I said, well, you'll get an hourly rate.

All you have to do is ask everyone what drinks they want. This is how you open a beer. This is how you pour a Jack and Coke. And I'm like, is this good training for a 10 year old? But then being an American kid, you know, when it comes down to it, he put out a tip jar and who doesn't, so I was giving him an hour ago, who doesn't tip a 10 year old when they get you a Jack and Coke, you've got to throw a buck in there, right? Yeah, especially if it's free in the dressing room.

Yeah. It's cost you nothing. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But that meant my opening acts were paying tips in their own dressing room for them. Very dodgy service. Jess Foster Q, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on, Jess. I'm not seeing you for ages. I know, a million years.

Thanks for having me. And now we're all grown up and got kids and stuff. Oh no, gross. It's awful, isn't it? Yeah. years. Thanks for having me. And now we're all grown up and got kids and stuff. Oh no, gross. Awful, isn't it? Yeah. Talk us through your, your at home setup. Okay. If you don't mind.

So, Well, if you do mind, this is going to be a very short episode. I don't really like talking about my kids actually. I prefer not to talk about my family. Yeah, I've got one seven year old human boy. human boy and then it's all quite complicated and modern. Yeah, that's what we're here for. We love complicated and modern. Complicated and modern.

Love it. Yeah. We're two complicated and modern guys. Well, we're not complicated, are we Rob? I don't think I'm very modern. I think I'm a guy. At the moment, I'm sort of 89% sure of. I think I'm very modern. I think I'm a guy. At the moment, I'm sort of 89% sure of. And I think I'm complicated and modern.

Okay. What a great team. So I live with my girlfriend and my son. And my son also lives, I'd say about a third of the time with his dad, who's 20 minutes walk away down the road. So that's our setup. Yeah. That's not that complicated. It's not that complicated. But if you saw the spreadsheet that I keep, I think most people say, so basically we are co-parent with his dad. And then we've sort of got my missus as a backup. I recently learned the word sparent, which I thought she'd love because it feels like a nice sort of innovative twist on step-parent.

Right, rather than step-parent, it's sparent. Yeah, but I said it to her, I was like, oh, I've learned this word and she was like, nah. And I think actually it doesn't make her sound important enough. Yeah, I think I agree with her. I think I agree with her. It makes you feel slightly like, oh yeah, that person as well. Yeah, yeah. You're here, so I might as well give you a name. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Like Prince Harry. Oh yeah, he's done a whole book called Spare Us. He's did a spare. His whole book was called Spare It, defined his life. Now that, he's modern and complicated. Very modern. Very complicated. A lot going on over there. So then excuse my ignorance, Jess, you don't need to answer that.

So you were with romantically with the dad. Oh, yeah. A life change happened and then that stopped. That stopped. Yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, we broke up when my son was about three, about four years ago. Yeah. Yeah. And I had intended to be a sort of single parent and single and single generally and having a really fun life for a couple of years, but

infuriated they fell in love within months. Oh, that's annoying. Oh, I know. It wasn't that wasn't the plan. Yeah. But yeah, so now so now here we are with our very modern setup. And how does it work when you say you've got a spreadsheet? Yeah. So, because I've got friends obviously who are co-parenting and they have very set days. Yeah. Are you free and easy? I've got Pilates on a Tuesday, I've got yoga on a Wednesday, we'll exchange those.

Are you those kind of people? So basically in the, I have to like hats off to my son's dad and to my missus and to my son because basically it has to be like that. Not because we're cool, but because of the nature of my work basically. So it's my fault there's a shared document. Because I never... Is it actually a shared Excel spreadsheet? Yeah. And who's on that? Just you and the dad?

Me and the dad, yeah. No spare. The spare is on, but she hasn't got editing properly. Hasn't got editing. She's on that shit Apple one, pages or whatever it is. Yeah. She has to download a special CSV file to access it or something like that.

Oh God. She's on a PDF printout. And so how far ahead are you plotting in? So mid month, I do the next month. So once I'm past 10, I love planning. I do love planning. Yeah, I'd love that bit. It almost makes me want to split up with Rose, the thought of the spreadsheet. Oh, God, I've been doing this for so long now that she doesn't listen. So she'll know she can give a fuck.

Yeah, she only listens to half the episode because that's what she'll get if you broke up. I went through the other day what Rose has consumed of my career output. And it is it is embarrassing. It's like she's read neither book. She's watched one episode of my sitcom. She watched one episode of Hypothetical. She hasn't seen the last leg since she used to come down to the green room.

She could not be less of a fan of me. Well, did you did you meet your partner at a gig? Because that's the danger, isn't it? Because I met Lou before I was a comedian. But I think it is a weird, slightly odd power dynamic when audience and performer, but I don't know if you met at a gig or not. No, I didn't meet Steph at a gig, but I met, we got together during an Edinburgh festival, but she's a writer, she had a play on there. She writes like serious, proper things. And

yeah, it is funny that even within, well, less than four years is that that summer when we got together, I think she saw that show three times, maybe four times, brought all her friends. And then now, yeah, I just had a 10 minute short out. It was a struggle to get her through that. I didn't blame her though. But don't you want, you'll have to go to one of her fucking serious plays. And if she starts coming to your comedy, don't do that. I've been to all of them, all of them.

They're all heartbreaking. I need therapy after every single one of them. And that's the problem with that is because it's a play. Yeah. You have to go, like that's an event you go to. Whereas if it's like a thing that exists, like Rose can just keep kicking it down the thing. Go, yeah, I am going to read the parenting hell book, but I'm just really busy.

Whereas with a play, you have to go. Did she come and see the tour show? Rose? Yeah. She came once in London. I'm going to read the parenting hell book, but I'm just really busy. Whereas with a play you have to go. Did she come and see the tour show? Rose? Yeah. She came once in London. I think that's fair. Yeah.

But it's very much, Lou's the same. She comes once in London and it's very much like visiting an uncle in prison. You have to go once to show that you've not disowned him. However, you do want that relationship to sort of peter out. No. No. No.

No. So your son's away for some of the time and is there an awful thing to it? Is there a freedom to it? It's lovely. It's lovely. It's really nice. It's lovely.

It's lovely. I didn't know how to ask, but thank you for taking. No, there's no, I take, I, it's when it really, but thank you for taking. It's when I really realized, because it was quite new, that it had only been the setup probably for about six months when we went into the first lockdown. And that's when I really thought, oh, we have nailed this. Because at that point, he lived on the same road. So we were obviously in a bubble. And it was before I lived with my partner. And I mean that to get away from a four year

old every couple of days, just for 24 hours was a touch. And I found myself, I never had a job, you know, when I was talking online with anyone who had a similar setup, we'd be going, right, it'd just be like, can had a similar setup, we'd be going, just feel like, that we weren't still with our partners. And we got like tiny little breaks. Um, I'm sorry to brag, but it is, it's amazing in terms of like sleep and, um, oh, I don't know. You know what it's like when you look work late, whatever, like it's just so nice. I was thinking this about a friend who's split up.

You're less liable to think I should sort this sleep issue because you think, well, in two days they won't be here anyway. It's only like two thirds of my week I'm having to deal with this. So if they're sleeping in my bed, that's fine. Yeah. But what has emerged now over the years is that, well, I used to joke when my son was a toddler that he was sexist, but now he's seven. He still is. And so that is a worry. And where it's really glaring now, well, there's a lot of mansplaining happening at the moment, but generally he will go to bed really nicely at his dad's. He will tidy up at his dad's. He will wash up. He will put things away, he will put dirty clothes where their men are go and here he just expects that to be done

by at least one of the two women. He's a little sexist. Yeah. Or the other, I don't know, you know, play devil's advocate here, but the dad might be a better parent, Jess, is that a potential? Okay, there is that, yeah. Basically, like, yeah, he just is responding better to the, he's happier to comply to someone, to someone he respects.

Well, my daughter's, Lou's been saying my daughters, they do not respect her. But they'll listen to me a bit more. But I don't know if that's a girl thing, because they argue they're in a hendu, my daughter's and my wife. My daughter doesn't respect me nearly as much as she respects Rose. Right okay so it's a parenting cocklaty thing in our house. I'm not saying I'm low. But no it's not in Jess's, he's sexist. Let's not get away from this seven year old, he's obviously a sexist pig. Yeah do you have to have conversations with your ex about like tactics and discipline and where you draw the line and all that kind of stuff?

Oh god yeah but also I think that like he is a better parent than me in the sense he's just got much much clearer more consistent boundaries. He's way rulesier than me so we just have to like it's very hard to have consistent front on that but and like I don't know he'll be much stingier about what my son can watch right what you let him watch Andrew Tate GB news or bust in my house for my son that's your homeschooling he's got his Jordan Peterson book out again sat their feet up. That's it for this special best of episode.

I'm Natalie Cassidy and I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time. And here it is. I'm going to be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly, you. I want to talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile, and how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people. So get on board, become part of my community,

and let's have a laugh. Hello, it's me, Jessica Knappett, and here, here, here,ya, brand new podcast alert. I've got a new show for you. It's called Perfect Day. And yeah, you've figured out the premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart and because it's obvious. Every Thursday I interview a guest about what constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams, fantasies and sweet memories, you're going to love this stuff.

Ah, we have got so many lovely, funny, nice people on. Your Ramesh Ranganathan's, your Dolly Alderton's, your Jamali Maddox's, Arabella Wearsh's doing it. Don't worry about the quality of the guest, just worry about when you're going to listen to it. Or don't worry about when you're going to listen to it, just actually listen to it. See you soon. Jess Knapp here, signing off, wishing you a perfect day.