Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell - Volume 17

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

The 2nd Parenting Hell compilation bonus ep while we wait for the Christmas catch-up chat episode coming your way later this week (and yes, there will almost certainly be post Strictly chat!) Thanks x... If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because
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Starting point is 00:01:16 and save 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh what, just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin?
Starting point is 00:01:31 Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope, you're on your own there. Coulda skipped it?
Starting point is 00:01:43 Shoulda skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals and more delivered right to your door on skip. Hello, I'm Rebecca. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. And you're listening to Now That's What I Call Parenting Hell. So then you started stand up when your daughters, when your children, the older ones were teenagers, is that right? Uh, yeah, two were in double figures and one was very young. And how did the kids react to that? Well, Josh, for the longest time I was doing open mic in, you know, butt fuck.
Starting point is 00:02:16 They didn't know what I was doing. They were like, you're not really, anyway, I never read good night stories and all that because they don't be in India. And I thought it was always so tedious So that's not like they missed that but what about bath time? No bath time. No, they have a bath What am I gonna do? I mean, of course, they're not that small when they were small I was in the bath and they want them to drown but as soon as they could have a bath I was like go have a shower. What are you doing? So age would you let them share alone?
Starting point is 00:02:37 You know when they were like a reasonable age whatever like I don't know six seven one of my kids had a habit of going into the shower and coming back and coming out and with a totally dry face. And I'd be like, who are you kidding? I was like, how is this possible? He said, no, Mommy, I did. I said, you did not. You did. Come on, dude, come on.
Starting point is 00:02:59 And then by the time, it was like, really, the only time your kids know is when they're friends or you're on YouTube or TV. I mean, otherwise how do they know? They don't. And I think for me that was probably, I think it was maybe when I did Have I Got News for You, which I did very early, maybe, I don't know, very early and it just happened. And I think my said, he asked me, were you on have I got news for you? And I said, yes. He said his science teacher had asked him.
Starting point is 00:03:29 And he said, I said no to him. And I said, why? And he's like, why would you be on TV? And I'm like, okay. That is a real confidence booster. Yeah, but I think the other thing is I didn't like, I didn't choose to talk about it at home really, because I just, it's just something I did
Starting point is 00:03:45 that was not, you know, like for the kids, because I was still always a full-on mom, I was still taking them to school, waking them up, going to see their football, packing their lunch. Who has the time in between telling them to stop beating each other up and get their shit together and get in the car to be like, oh, by the way, I'm doing standup. Like who? Who? Nobody. get in the car to be like, Oh, by the way, I'm doing stand up. Like who, who, nobody.
Starting point is 00:04:09 You know, and I'm very, I've always been quite demanding academically of the children, so by and large, they don't like to talk to me. Are you quite stern mother, like quite strict? I mean, I'm told I'm strict. Who by? Everybody in the house. What about like other kids of friends and family? Have there been things you don't like going on in your house and you've had to impose your stricter rules on other kids of friends and family? Have there been things you don't like going on in your house and you've had to impose your stricter rules on other kids?
Starting point is 00:04:29 I wouldn't do that to other people's kids in our home. If they come, they behave badly, they're my guests, they can. You will see my kids looking at me in utter panic, like, oh my God. And they look at me in like, they're like terrorized because they know what it means to me, but they've also understood. We have a phrase in Sanskrit, which is, which is, the guest comes as God. So you do never criticize your guests. You know what I mean? No matter what. But when they leave, I look at the kids and they're like, we know, we got it. But I think there's a very strong code with the children,
Starting point is 00:05:13 you know, about what's done and what's not done. So when you say, because you obviously, you didn't do the bed, you don't do the bedtime stories, what are the other British, not parenting traditions, but kind of parenting norms that you find kind of baffling like that or just like... Well, I mean, baffling. You know, I do know, I can see why you guys tell stories and it's nice. I just am like, I'm not fucking doing it. It's not even like bed baffling. Alright, I'll rephrase the question. What other things are you not fucking doing? Um, I don't, what else do I not do? I don't really play with them. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Like I play, they're around me playing. Like now I play with them because I've taught all of them how to play Rummy and three card poker. That's fine. But I won't play like fucking, you know, Legos, man. No, no, no, no, no, no. I've been a kid, I did all this. But don't you find that nostalgia going back to those games and doing something together? Don't you like get a buzz from that? No, but I do other kid things with them. Like for example, you know, I've always had,
Starting point is 00:06:16 I've always been a little, I've always been a little bit cavalier with this bedtime business, you know. Oh yeah? Yeah, it's, when they were very little, then you have to, because you need a routine of rubber, but like say when they're four or five, six, seven, like when they've started school, I mean, before they go to nursery, I don't care when you sleep. When you fall asleep, I'll pick you up where you are.
Starting point is 00:06:35 And then that's it enough. Thank you. But if we're going out and you're going to be sleepy and then, you know, misbehave, then we have like, don't do that either. So my husband is like, you have no rules. These kids just have to adapt. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty much right. But every once in a while,
Starting point is 00:06:51 there'll be something we wanna do. Like there'll be a TV show that we all wanna watch and it's like past our bedtime. I'm like, screw the bedtime, let's watch. Or like, if there's a movie that we really wanna watch and somehow we can't watch on the weekend, I'm like, let's watch it now. The one thing that
Starting point is 00:07:05 I, and I don't have many rules around like dessert and ice cream and whatever, like this, fine, it's in the fridge, or we have this, eat it, you know, like just use some sense. So would you say you let the small things go, but big things you come down on them quite hard? I think so. I mean, I, you see kids, the kid, the things that kids do, which are interesting to both kids and me, I'm so. I mean, you see, kids, the things that kids do, which are interesting to both kids and me, I'm there. I'm there. Like I took my children alone when they were four
Starting point is 00:07:31 and two to Disneyland by myself. Oh my God. All the way to Los Angeles. From London? Well, I went from London to Atlanta to attend my cousin's wedding, which was a great wedding, by the way. And then from there, I was like, well, I'm not going back to London. We're already here. So I was like, let's go to LA. And my husband was like, I can't do it. I'm like, that's fine. I got this. So there's those kinds of things, which I think a lot of adults are like, are you crazy? I'm
Starting point is 00:07:52 like, no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. I'll be fine. And we had a great time. The other thing I used to do, which the kids later told me they had never heard of anyone doing was I really like Pixar. Okay. Like really. So when the first few Pixar movies came out, there used to be one every 18 months, like when my teens were young, I used to not want to go on the weekend because everyone brought their kids and kids would talk and it would be like a kiddie movie event. And I'm like, I don't have time for this. So I used to go on the first day that the movie came out, which was usually a Thursday or Friday. And I would go to I don't have fucking time for this. So I used to go on the first day that the movie came out, which was usually a Thursday or Friday.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And I would go to the school. I did this with both with both of them go to the school, tell the school there was a dental appointment or something, get the kid out of class. And the middle of the day, we would go to the movies. Oh, I bet your kids loved it. Oh my god. Well, it's they and I didn't tell them because you see kids will tell their friends. And so I would just do it.
Starting point is 00:08:48 And I had to, because both my kids have my husband's gene of being very honest. They would look at me with their eyes, like saucepans. I'm like, remember the dentist and we would leave. And I'd be like, dude, we're going to movies and their heads would explode. And I'd be like, but here's the thing. If you go and tell your friend tomorrow, I'm going to go to jail. So they never told. They were like, oh shit. And now they tell me that was so bad. Like we were so scared. But you're generally hard on them academically. Does that not go against that? One day of missing school, you're not going to get 10 on 10. What's the matter with you? One day?
Starting point is 00:09:30 He loves being negative. And that's what happens to teenage boys. They just wanna shit on your dreams. Take a bit right. So for example, his school about a year and a half ago had a trip to Auschwitz. They had a trip to Auschwitz The whole year we're gonna go and I thought obviously with our heritage I'll be a good thing for him to do and you know bleak and awful, but also very important or whatever So I say to him one breakfast, you know Ezra, I think you should go on this trip. That'd be good And he's like nah, I like no really look at take it seriously. I really think a lot of our relatives died, there might be a good thing for you to do. And he goes, none of my friends are going, okay, I really think it's important for
Starting point is 00:10:13 you to go. And he says, No, I really I can't be bothered. I found myself saying the actual word Ezra, I don't have to force you to go to Alphamys. But you know, he lives for memes. I really have an incredibly high level of irony being like scornful about me and that video games and FIFA and stuff like that. Does he respect your career? No, I mean, secretly, but I think no. I want to certainly, he loves saying today, I know a lot of people are working from home, but if you've got a family, it's often a good idea to think like, oh, I'm gonna go and write somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:10:55 So I'm thinking about doing that. So I went into a flat today, and I'm afraid to have to tell you my friends, that I'm, I mean, I had a mask on, but nonetheless, I'm there with the very youngest agent, and he says, oh, so you're gonna come and live here? I said, no, I'm gonna mask on, but nonetheless, I'm there with the very youngest state agent. And he says, oh, so you're going to come and live here? I said, no, I'm going to use it just for writing. He went, oh, what are you a writer?
Starting point is 00:11:10 And I went, well, yeah, I'm a writer and comedian. He went, oh, right. All right. And I told this to Ezra. And he just said, yeah, what you wanted was a 50-year-old bloke who likes football. And I thought, right, yeah. I know.
Starting point is 00:11:21 He could have been nicer, right? He could have said, that's his fault for being ignorant, whatever. Not, yeah, young people don't know who you are, Dad. But young people do know who you are because you've sold 1.5 million children's books. Yeah, it is one. Oh, actually, we're not on the telly or not on the internet, but... So your new children's book, Future Friend. Yes. So how many have you written? Is that five?
Starting point is 00:11:47 He's written 1.5 million. He's sold one each. It's a good way to get into the million books sold. Very well. I've written seven children's books and one actually one and a novella. So seven and a half children's books and one actually one and a novella so seven and a half children's books and why did you go was it partly to impress your children or entertain your children or when it came from Ezra the idea for the first one I mean actually I was having a row not a row but I think today I think the Guardian are about to do a you talk about Ezra like Tyler Durden in Fight in Fight Club it Fight. It's just your split personality living
Starting point is 00:12:28 with you. I don't know if he really exists. Yeah, no, I was having a constant row on Twitter and sometimes elsewhere. I think the Guardian did a piece about how comedians and celebrities should not write children's books, right? Because it means that, you know, probably true at some level, not that they shouldn't, but that it does create problems for those people who want to write children's books who haven't got like a pre-established name or brand or whatever. Anyway, my point being that I didn't particularly think, oh, I want a bit of that David Williams
Starting point is 00:13:02 action. My son gave me an idea is what happened. particularly think, Oh, I want a bit of that David Williams action. My son gave me an idea is what happened when he was eight. He said to me, Dad, why doesn't Harry Potter run away from the Dursley's obviously the horrible model family that he has to live with? But he's not at Hogwarts. Why doesn't he run away from them and try and find some better parents? And I could have said to him the literary answer to that, which is, well, I think it's because JK Rowling wants
Starting point is 00:13:26 to suggest that Hogwarts is very magical. And so he she creates a very negative humdrum life for him when he's not Hogwarts. I didn't say that. I said, because too long. I said, that's given me an idea. And the idea was a world in which children can choose their own parents. And that led to my first children's book, which is called The Parent Agency, about a kid called Barry,
Starting point is 00:13:48 who is annoyed with his parents all the time, wishes for better parents, goes through his bedroom wall into a world run by kids in which parents basically have to audition to get children. That's a great idea. And he tries out five different types of parents. And yeah, so I wrote that. And what you just said, Josh, about it being a good idea,
Starting point is 00:14:08 the reason I said that was not just being self-aggrandizing, but the reason that I wrote it is that when I had that idea, because of what Ezra said, I thought that sounds like a really good idea for a children's book. So much so I thought someone else must have done it, but they haven't. And you know, when you have a good idea,
Starting point is 00:14:21 that's often how it feels. Like it feels so classic, someone else must have done it. And it did do really well. And at that point, I thought now I do want a bit of that Williams action. I remember when they were small and that bit where they possibly nap in the afternoon. And then if, if that doesn't happen, you more or less want to kill yourself. That period is behind me now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:50 The flip side is the evenings are off limits because their idea of when they should be going to sleep, of course, it's like, I mean, a 10 year old is basically a teenager in terms of how much he demands to stay up. So yeah, again, the routines of the day just get shifted. I think I'd take my evenings over. If you offered me to lose two hours of the evening to my daughter staying up, but I gained two hours in the morning, I think I'd prefer to lose the time in the morning still. I can't offer you that anyway. I don't control it obviously. Yeah. The evenings are... I don't have the... I can't offer you that anyway.
Starting point is 00:15:23 I don't control it obviously. Also, obviously the kids splitting times between the two houses and stuff. Do you ever sort of class slightly on the parenting? And is it harder to sort of like, you know, agree on how it should be done when you're not, you know, there together the whole time? It's certainly not. It's not smooth. Yeah, of course kids are quite good at exploiting. Again, in
Starting point is 00:15:47 football terms, they will they will slip between the two central defenders. They'll tell my ex that that we are we are we did that at dad's house and vice versa. But we have to cooperate to sort of put the pieces together because the 10 year old in particular is a sophisticated sort of cheat. Now, He'll always like claim that he gets certain privileges at the other place or that he's already done his homework there or you have to be you have to both have your mind switched on to stay to stay ahead of it. Yeah. And it's yeah, there has to be a lot of cooperation. And sometimes I've got better at just accepting that it's not going gonna always go well as well.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Because we have a lot of people email in and solicitors and stuff that are sort of separated and after the kids split time, parents and always strikes and it must be so difficult. Even if you do have a good relationship after you've separated, it's difficult to make, you know make sure they're all telling the truth and stuff. But if you didn't get on that well with your ex, it must be impossible if there's not that,
Starting point is 00:16:47 you know, because some, you know, some friends of mine growing up and you see that they'd like have to be dropped off at the end of the road type thing and then they don't actually see each other. Because you said to me Rob, didn't you, that the only reason you're staying with Lou is because it would be such a nightmare to be divorced. That was the words you used. Absolutely right. Money wise especially. Oh, I tell you what, that is
Starting point is 00:17:07 fiddly. Yeah. I don't 100% recommend the process. If you can avoid it. And we were kind of it was a little bit acrimonious for a while, we were never quite about leaving them at the end of the road stage. But things are sort of reasonably equitable now. And even if they weren't, you'd have to make them because your mental energy for fighting people is almost zero when you're also fighting with the world the way it is at the moment. So in some ways, all of us have learned to get better at... All of the of us have learned to get better at like, all of the interpersonal relationships have had to get better because otherwise you just can't, you can't manage it. But that takes mental energy as well. And there
Starting point is 00:17:52 are days when you sit there and think, well, I just, I think it's a case of have a glass of wine and forget about everything here. Yeah, by glass, I'd mean quite a large glass. quite a large glass. And do you like, what's it like, like, when they're not there, and then they turn up? Like, so you're because you're getting half you're seeing them for half the week. Yeah. Or does it feel like you're living kind of two different lives in a way? It really does. Sometimes when especially because the like my partner, I run sort of a production company as well from from this house. So a lot of the time there's, there is kind of there's a lot of work going on, things feel orderly here, everything feels,
Starting point is 00:18:36 you know, feels more or less like being a proper human being. And then you're aware that within 15 minutes of the kids being the house, it will resemble a circus more than a workplace. And what I've tried to get better at is not bracing myself too much for that. Even as you're picking up the kids, you feel tense thinking, oh, Christ, here we go. That is not a good thing to project to them, probably. So these days I try to kind of accept, like mentally accept the chaos. It's like, I tell you what is a bit easier is being able to take them to, you know, cafes or to the cinema. And the worst bit for me was when there was literally no building outside your house that it was legal to set foot in. At least now I
Starting point is 00:19:23 feel like not everything has to be in the house. But you're right, Josh. It is basically like, for the last few months, I've felt like the halves of me that are and aren't looking after kids are almost two separate people. There's a person that can get quite a number of tasks done in a day. And then there's a person that has to cower in a toilet to get a single email away. If you're parenting these past six months and you don't regard your bathroom as the office, then you're doing better than me. What a place. A door with a lock on it has become so, so valuable in this period.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Mine's worked out the old 10p trick though, where you just undo it for the other side. Is that a thing? Yeah, you know like if it's one of those locks where it's not a key, it's a little like... Oh, it's a turning thing? Yeah, like a little turning knob. On the other side there's a little slit for a screwdriver, you can get a 10p in there and turn it. Wait a minute, I don't think I'll allow them to listen to this in that case. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Well, I mean they probably shouldn't be for all sorts of reasons, to be fair. I don't know if you should be publicizing knowledge like this, Rob. This sounds borderline criminal. Well, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't endorse it, but it can be done. You haven't exactly distanced yourself from it either, though. I was going to say, how do you sort of do Christmases and stuff like that then? haven't exactly distanced yourself from it either though. How do you sort of do Christmases and stuff like that then? Do you sort of have a year with the kids or a year not with the kids? It took a little bit of time to work it out and the past two years we've done Christmas Day
Starting point is 00:20:57 itself with our respective new setups and then we've done things altogether on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. For the past two, or it might be three years, it's been Winter Wonderland on Christmas Eve and then Pantomime on Boxing Day. But of course- Who were you playing in the Pantomime? Oh, just a set of bit parts for me. Chris Whitty was the lead, obviously. And it is nice. and that kind of Christmas Eve Boxing Day, I then tend to take them to my parents later in the, in that bit between Christmas and New Year where it's a case of right, what do we do now?
Starting point is 00:21:34 But all of this is sort of hanging in the balance, isn't it? I shouldn't think there'll be pantomimes and I'd be very, very surprised if Winter Wonderland is allowed to happen. No, it's not happening. There you go. I mean, I think that's probably sensible because that is essentially 40,000 people in quite a small field. And a lot of them are pissed on Moldwan and German sausages. I mean, the more I talk about it, the more
Starting point is 00:21:56 disappointing it is it's not happening actually, because Winter Wonderland does sort of look like a hellscape, but it's a great place to entertain kids for four hours. What happens at a Winter Wonderland? I've never been to Winter Wonderland. Well, if you haven't got kids, there's, but it's a great place to entertain kids for four hours. What happens at a winter wonderland? I've never been to winter wonderland. Well, if you haven't got kids, it would be a weird decision to go, I think. But basically, it's a big old Leica theme park. So you've got your Helter Skelters and those rides that someone like
Starting point is 00:22:18 me looks at them and immediately throws up like awful looking rides. But then there's also this either German or fake German market with booze and sausages and stuff like that. So it's quite a good place. It's all in Hyde Park. And traditionally, it gets so muddy that it's more like being at Glastonbury. It's in a lot of ways, it's quite an unpleasant experience, but it is a place where the kids can have quite a nice night and you can get quite drunk in all fairness. As close to guilt free as you can be getting pissed with kids. If you go in the afternoon and evening, it obviously gets dark, it's Christmassy, it's the sort of thing that you are aware that the kids
Starting point is 00:23:10 they're forming nice memories, even though you're looking around thinking, well, there's too many idiots here and that was just 14 pounds for a mulled cider there. Yeah, it's so expensive, isn't it? It really is. I don't know how much the actual tickets to it cost, but as soon as you get through, they've absolutely got you. You come away having had quite a nice Christmas experience, but you're about a grand down. Robish went to see Mr. Tumble at Wembley Arena with his kids, obviously, and it was like at 10 quid for a 12 inch hot dog. And he's like, do you do a smaller one? And I was like, no. Is that three year old?
Starting point is 00:23:41 It's absolute. 12 inch hot dog that you weren't eating any of. Those kids' arena shows are unbelievable. I took my kids to Paw Patrol live at the 02. I know, which is the bleakest sentence I've ever said that. Well, have you seen Paw Patrol? Yes, they're big fans in my ass. Right. Well, imagine that, but shit. Right. Well, imagine that, but shit. Imagine that, but instead of sort of a lovable animation, it's just people pretending to be dogs. The main thing with it was, it wasn't the O2,
Starting point is 00:24:16 it was again Wembley Arena. It was the sort of place that 10 years ago, you might have seen arcade fire. Now you're watching a bunch of blokes pretending to be dogs. And being going to stuff on that scale, like going to music venues, but to see kids stuff really reminds you of how your life has changed, I think. Like you're thinking last time. What happens in Poor Patrol Live? Sorry? What happens in Poor Patrol Live? It's just like, how long the app? Oh, I can summarize it for you very easily, Rob. Hard anything happens in Poor Patrol Live? It's just like, how long is that? Oh, I can summarize it for you very easily, Rob. Hard anything happens in it.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You basically, what happens in Poor Patrol Live is everyone responsible for putting on the show makes an enormous amount of money. Because as with Ron Messner's hot dog story, there's like, there's any amount of dog merch that the kids all want to call. Yeah, and I can't believe the actors are getting paid well. They're not on a door split.
Starting point is 00:25:05 I don't think they're. No, it's not. There's not a bucket collection at the end. The actors are, it should be like that actually. It should be like a free friend show in Edinburgh and at the end they should come and say, well, I think if you'd seen that on the West End that would have been 45 quid. So if you wouldn't mind putting that in my bucket. But someone's making a lot of money because not only... So basically they come out, they do like what would pass as an average episode of Poor Patrol, but all of it is they're in costumes and it's done partly by talking, partly by voiceover tracks and stuff. There's a few songs and then pretty quickly it's over and the lights come up. And if you banked on passing, killing the afternoon with your kids, there's this
Starting point is 00:25:48 horrible feeling of like, is that it? It works out about £17 a minute. You often get this with shows for the very young kids. You pay what you pay for a theatre show and it's billed like a theatre show. But after 45 minutes, it's a case of, there's a particular feeling you get when they begin a song which has the look of an end song about it. And you're filled with this cold fear of like, hang on a minute, let's not start singing a song that goes, we've all had a lovely time, it's time to leave the theatre. I don't think it is quite. So have you had any big bust ups then with your teenager?
Starting point is 00:26:27 Yeah, we've had loads of rounds. Yeah. And anything in particular that's a bit of a sticking point that is not getting resolved to keep cropping up? Me breathing, me waking her up in the morning. So what's your schedule? I get her up. Now we're back at school.
Starting point is 00:26:41 In the Easter holidays, she was sleeping until gone 11, 12 most days. I've been getting her up now by nine, like with some attempt to have some structure. Yeah. And she'll get up and sort of get on with it. But yeah, she'll do the morning. Both of them do the morning. They do their work in the morning. And then to be honest, it's pretty much done by lunchtime, whether they're doing it or not, I don't really know. This is the thing we're finding is a lot of parents who are homeschooling are saying
Starting point is 00:27:05 they're just knocking it out in the morning. Do you think schools are a bit long? A lot of what goes on in school isn't the academic learning anyway, it's all the other stuff around it. And that's what I'm feeling sad that they're missing out on really. In academics, I just think that's just data, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:27:21 I mean, they'll retain that open. Otherwise, if teaching was just about learning information, there wouldn't be schools. They'd all be doing open university, wouldn't they, from age four? Yeah. But like, they need to go to school, they need to see their mates, they need to sort of have their little feuds even. It's all part of their development. But she said to me the other day, Mum, why are you so aggressive? I'm like, that's my brand. That's my brand. That's who I am.
Starting point is 00:27:47 That's my USB. Yeah, Elsie couldn't be less interested in, you know, my comedy and stuff like that. I did, we got asked to do these little clips like for your lockdown. We made a little clip. So we sort of did some comedy sketches and stuff. And she was a bit involved. She was a bit more interested in that. But when I was like trying to sort of explain how to do it, she was like, well, what do you know?
Starting point is 00:28:13 I'm like, well, I do know. I work in comedy. I do know. I've got quite a funny story about that, about parenting. It's a bit name droppy if you suffer that. That's all right. Basically, when Liam Romas was doing the Shania Twain episode for our series about country music, we went and met Shania Twain. And after her show, we were in the dressing room, like drinks there, of her and all her family and friends.
Starting point is 00:28:34 And her son was there, he was like 17, and they live in Switzerland, and he wants to go to LA to be a music producer, right? And Shania Twain, we're in this weird conversation with Shania Twain, one of the, you know, the greatest selling female artists of all time and the greatest selling artists of all time. It's saying to him, look, go to London, move to London and learn your trade there. And then when you get a bit older, then go to LA.
Starting point is 00:28:54 You don't want to go to LA before you've become not formed as a person, right? And he went, oh, shut up, mum, what do you know about the music industry? You don't know anything about production. And I just stood there, and I was like, we're in the O2 arena that she's just sold out. I've done moving from a small town to Nashville to become this big star. It doesn't matter who you are, kids will never, never listen to their parents.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Carrie, do you think your children are like proud of what you do? They don't think they like me much. No, I don't know. Yeah, I think so. I don't know about my daughter. I don't think it's so hard to sort of navigate her 13 year old. Yeah. Personality and hormones is so complex in there, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:29:43 I don't know, really. I think my son is. I think my son's proud. But as I say, he's still little and sweet and sort of malleable, you know. The teen thing has been massive and really sudden. Like she was still, before she got a phone and started at secondary school and stuff like that, I still felt relatively in control of her life. But as soon as that began, I felt like there was this huge shift and it's normal and natural and talked about it with parents that have got kids older and they all say it's all not like even that you know
Starting point is 00:30:15 Shania Twain, it's like it's all normal, but it's really hard as a parent to let them go and let them move on. There's all these milestones. Like when they start school, you have to let go. I'd love to let go at this moment, Kerry. I'd absolutely love to let go. I think this must be a really tough age to be in the lockdown with your little girl. She's two and a half.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Josh, I found out today, your daughter goes down for a 90-minute nap and I think you're moaning too much about this lockdown. I'm throwing it out there. No, but I use that 90 minute nap to do this. Why? I like to work around the diaries of our guests and let them choose the time. Oh, shut up. If my kid was at a 90 minute nap, I would be starting this as soon as they woke up. That's how I'd roll it. And that is why I am a good husband. Obviously, you've got a house full Jason, but if in a bit of magic that your wife and all your children just disappeared for 24 hours and it was still lockdown,
Starting point is 00:31:19 and you had the entire house to yourself and the day to yourself, what would you do? What would that day look like? I think it would half the day would be a try and sort out me, um, ultimate team on FIFA, you know, still got a right back at 76. So I'd probably sort, I'd sort that out. I'd definitely do that. Um, and, but I mean, trying to crack it, I mean, trying to sort this house out. We've done nothing but clean, spring cleaning the house. But it's like shoveling snow while it's snowing when you've got kids around. It's just relentless.
Starting point is 00:31:54 And so I think what would be nice would be just to get to a point where everywhere was lovely and tidy and done, and then I could bring them all back and go, right, at least I know now that the basics are done, so I can just keep on top of it. Cause that's been a big thing. Fresh start with the house. Oh, what a tree that was. The crumb situation in, we were Hoover and there'll be just crumb, to the point now where the local birds are flying into the back door.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Cause they know there's going to be food on the floor. We've become like Jaffa the square mid-90s, it's feeding ground. Yeah, so I'd probably, I'd do a bit of FIFA, sort the house out and I started one of those, the career mode the other day and my wife was asleep next to us and I thought I'd just get a start on this and she woke up at one point and obviously it started like a youth player. My wife woke up, she said, what are you doing? And I said, I'm just playing FIFA. She said, why aren't you playing? I said, I'm waiting to get on.
Starting point is 00:32:48 She said, you what? I said, I'm just waiting to get on. I'm new to the team, so I don't get, I get like last 10 minutes for a few weeks, or I make a name for myself. She said, you've got half an hour to play football and you're spending most of it sat on the bench watching the computer play football.
Starting point is 00:33:08 It's a tough game, isn't it? Let me ask you guys a question. Right. Uh, in your house, is there like a chores league table with your wives? No, well on a Sunday or I'm trying to get it moved to Saturday, um, is, is cleaning day. So we do all the cleaning in one day. Yeah. So it's like, um, one of us will take my daughter and then the other one will
Starting point is 00:33:34 clean and to be honest, last week I was, I was just desperate to do the cleaning cause you're just in your own world. Yeah. You put the radio on. Yeah. You can podcast. Right. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Well, I, I discovered ironing the other week. Do you remember ironing? Right. And I, and I got a flashback to my dad doing it. So my, so my, my wife does it. She's in, we've got a little utility room out the back and she does that. She does what she needs to do. I got this pile of ironing.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Lads, let me tell you. It is. It's the secret. It is the, this is the dream ironing board in the living room, telly on. Oh, nobody bothers you because nobody wants to do the job. Yeah. Nobody checks on you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Nobody comes in to check. And also, well, that's a seven year old going to moan about a crease in his pants. There's no, and also if you're holding a red iron and something's happening, you go, oh, can you grab the kids? I've got this. Yeah. I've got the iron.
Starting point is 00:34:30 It's like having a hot cup of tea with a baby in it. Oh, do you mind? I've just got this. One second. I got a flashback of my dad. My dad used to do the ironing on a Saturday afternoon in front of Grand Stand. And I now suddenly went, oh, my God, he was ahead of the curve. That man watching final score doing the irony.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Nobody bothered him. Well, it's that thing, isn't it? What used to be a job when you've got kids suddenly becomes your escape. Oh, oh my God. Recycling with a podcast in. Oh my God. Pornographic. I put the bins out yesterday.
Starting point is 00:34:59 It was like two weeks in iron apple. Have you got, have you got any, like, if you had one tip that you've kind of learned that's actually helped you parenting in lockdown, is there anything that you've kind of gone, oh, that would really help other people parent in lockdown? It's hard, isn't it? I think because, you know, when again, when you've, when, when we talk about pre lockdown or early lockdown, Jason, you know, I was thinking about learning Portuguese and sign language and maybe the ukulele. And now I'm just trying to get through it roughly within the same boxing weight category as I started. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:37 No, I would hate to patronize anybody by giving them tips on how to parent crikey. What you end up doing is playing this weird like game of, I call it top tired or not tired with your wife, which is essentially, unless you are the most tired, you're not tired at all. That's how it works in relationships. And so you're constantly on this, like you're just dropping things into conversation. You know, I did the washing the other day and, you know, my wife said, Oh, nice. Are you doing that? I said, yeah, I thought I'd get it done.
Starting point is 00:36:10 And she she meant to say as a compliment what she said was, Oh, that's really good that you're doing that because it's knackering. I've done it for the last five weeks. And then she left. And so what she left me with was I've not been doing it. Even though I am doing the washing right now in the present, I've not been doing it for the last five weeks, you know, so there's those little, those little light digs. I had a moment, let me tell you this, I had a moment.
Starting point is 00:36:33 At least you didn't take it with you, Jason, and then hold it with you until you asked about a podcast. Well, let me tell you this, when we first started the lockdown, I said to the kids, right, we've done it. I've done a schedule. I think that's my tip, actually, is schedule, schedule and routine. That is the only thing that's going to get you through this whole process. So, you know, I've been getting the kids up as if we were going to school. We start at half nine, so it's not too bad, but you know, still make sure we're up and dressed and washed on a school day at the regular school time. And we have a break time at the same time and we have lunch time.
Starting point is 00:37:07 I get the kids to make their own lunch. That's been a revelation. Um, and, uh, and then in the afternoon we do some chores around the house, uh, together, so I get the kids where I got you two in charge of the dishwasher. Uh, you guys are going to do Hoover upstairs and it's been, you know, it's been quite good in that respect. Um, but what I did on the first day was my wife was in the kitchen I was just saying to the kids right this is the schedule we did up there do Joe Wicks we do this do this
Starting point is 00:37:31 one I said in the afternoon we're gonna do some chores around the house I'm gonna teach you some domestic stuff so we'll do that we'll do the washing and I just heard like a scoff you know that noise you like only your wife can make that just goes right into your heart from another room she sort of went ha and i said what are you laughing at she said oh you you're gonna teach them washing here you're gonna teach yourself first here and i said hang on this is in front of the kids i went hold on a minute i said i've been using that wash i've been using a washing machine all my life man and boy i know my way around a washing machine i might not use
Starting point is 00:38:04 it at the moment i know my way around a washing machine. I might not use it at the moment, but I know my way around a washing machine. I was livid, secretly I was livid. And she said, go on then, show us the washing machine. I said, don't patronize me. I know how to use a washing machine. And I marched into that utility room. I said, right guys, you pull the drawer out and you put your washing powder in and it was the drawer for the dryer. I wasn't even looking at the right tune. There with the wrong draw. Alison Havard, welcome to the show.
Starting point is 00:38:39 We finally got you on with me and Josh. Um, the, uh, the tech situation got a bit hairy. Well we should tell the listeners that basically we've had half an hour of tech troubles and about 28 minutes into that I'd given up hope that it was going ahead so yeah I'm not I've not got my game head on. You was literally out there. I know I was done. I was cooked mate. I never, on that last attempt I thought this would never work and then you plunge something in Alison and you went, yeah that was perfect. I was like, what's happened in the last 28 minutes?
Starting point is 00:39:11 I literally, I was like a technical genius. Well done. I went to important output, I was all over it. Alison, could you give the listeners a quick rundown on your set up at the moment, your kids and where you're living and what's happening? Alison, could you give the listeners a quick rundown on your setup at the moment, your kids and where you're living and what's happening? So I'm living just outside of Birmingham. It's quite rural.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I've only just moved in January. And I've moved to a house which is nearer to my son's school just to make things a little bit easier for him because we lived about eight miles from the school before. So we were doing the school run and it was, I had to take him to school every single day and it was like, oh, I can't take this anymore. How long was the drive?
Starting point is 00:39:48 I did it for about four years, but it's only seven miles. But imagine that at rush hour, it takes about an hour. No way. About an hour through rush hour, honestly. Two hours of your day. Yeah. It's, well, I never used to pick him up. He used to always get the bus home
Starting point is 00:40:05 But I used to always take him to school every single morning But I did it for four years and I thought that's enough now and this is his final year and I've actually moved I've got round to moving Yes, he's done it for four years What was the actual point but Honestly, I can't tell you how much it was actually doing my head in. That commute every morning, just imagine I had to get out of bed, it's terrible, I had
Starting point is 00:40:32 to get ready, get dressed. You weren't allowed to drive into school anyway because of lockdown, so that was pointless. You've done it for about four weeks. You spent five years at this school doing an hour of that. Thanks for that Rob. Yeah I've got into debt, I've got a bigger mortgage. Yeah thanks for that Rob, thanks for making me feel so much better. Thanks and my workers, my workers gone, got no money. Great thanks. You're working from home Alastair, we've seen you and actually your son, he's back. How old's Aidan? 15? Is he 14? 15? He's 15 now and he's homeschooling. Yeah. 15. He's your cameraman. He's my cameraman, but I do have to pay him.
Starting point is 00:41:13 I have to pay him, babes. It's not just like... Do you? Yeah, yeah. We negotiate, I think, five pounds, you know, I think for a 15 year old, you know, five pounds a shot. For a child. Yeah, get up out five pounds a shot. For a child. Yeah, get up out of bed. He has to get dressed. He has to get dressed to come and film with me, obviously. If we're filming in the garden, he has to get ready. He has to have shoes on, have a shower,
Starting point is 00:41:33 because it's like work. But we negotiated 12 pounds 75. And that's what we're going to go with. Every time he films for me, it's 12 pounds 75. I'm actually filming tomorrow on the show and they want me to do a picnic. And they were asking if Adam wants to join me. And I just said, no, I just knew he wouldn't want to.
Starting point is 00:41:52 He's happy behind the camera, not in front. Yeah, but this morning I've got a lot of money. Well, they're not giving it to me, babes. They're not giving it to me. Imagine if he was on a bigger fee than you. Does he get excited by the fact you're on TV, Alison? He really doesn't, babes. Josh, he doesn't care. I think he's proud because I've seen him, I did Rocky Horror Show last year and I was the narrator and I saw him in the audience and you know you can just tell someone's really proud of you. I see like glints of oh, that's my mom
Starting point is 00:42:26 I think he's really impressed with like how I do things as I love your Instagram mom You really might make people interested. It's really you like make something Yeah, but also from a teenage boy you don't get much out of them and never mind any sort of love or admiration At that age do you so anything's a plus yeah, and then do you find that it's don't get much out of him. And nevermind any sort of love or admiration at that age, do you? So anything's a plus or something. And then do you find that? It's hard to get stuff out of him.
Starting point is 00:42:50 To be honest with you, he has his moments. He's still like, there's glimpses. I still see him as like a little baby. And I still see him like, he does still wanna be my best friend. Do you know what I mean? Like I go cycling with him and he always says, yes. I go, do you wanna go for a bike ride? And some people would find that, I think some with him and he always says, yeah, so I go, do you want to go for a bike ride?
Starting point is 00:43:05 And some people would find that, I think some kids would find that really like who wants to go around with their mom on a bike, but he loves it. He loves going around. They don't go very far because they get really tired. We normally just go around the block and then I'm like, I'm tired now. I'm going back, but he always comes with me. He just enjoys like my company. I'm thinking of getting an electric bike now because honestly,'m just knackered the whole time just go around the block
Starting point is 00:43:28 I want to go further. I want to go into the countryside So i'm thinking of getting one of those electric bikes the hybrid or something like that We could just move to the country by house nearer there That's what you normally do when you've got a long journey to deal with. Yeah, but what about your school base? He's got a year left at the school You say he's not a year left at the school. You say a year. He's not going back mate, read the news. How's homeschooling gone?
Starting point is 00:43:50 Are you a good teacher? I'm a fantastic teacher. I'm amazing. He doesn't listen to me, but I am amazing. I think I'm a brilliancy. I think I'm a really good motivator. I can motivate. He just doesn't listen to me.
Starting point is 00:44:03 So what, how does it work out? Take us through the school day. So in the morning he does have a sleep in, I'm not going to lie, but I've just had an email to say he's got a lesson at 11.25. So I would wake him up an hour before and I'd say go and get a shower. He'd tell me no, he's not having a shower today. I go okay. And then the computer goes on and I just listen to the teacher teaching my son.
Starting point is 00:44:26 And then afterwards she goes, go off and do this assignment. And I have to just make sure he does it. Once he's done it, he can go and do whatever he wants, which is normally a game console. What game? It's the one where he kills lots of people in the street and attacks people. It's obviously escapism.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Do you miss him? Do you miss him being little? I do actually, yeah. Of course I do. I loved when he didn't answer back and he just sat there looking at me, doughy eyed. It was lovely. I miss everything about those times, feeding times. I used to love doing food and mixing different things. Broccoli with a bit of meat, put a bit of seasoning in.
Starting point is 00:45:08 I'd be like, I wonder if he likes it, I wonder if he likes it. He used to love my food and then he'd go to our place and he was like, you know, I'm not feeling that it's not seasoned. I always seasoned my baby food. My baby food. Did you? I should have sold that baby food. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I should have, I should have sold it. What's your tip? What would you season salt pepper? No, I put a bit of all purpose seasoning in it. I used to have like, sweet potato, a bit of chicken, broccoli, a little bit of all purpose seasoning and he used to absolutely love it. All purpose, but what other purpose is there for seasoning? It's all purpose? What else you do with it? Hold spot on someone's head? All purpose? I've run out of toilet paper, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Here you go, use that. Once this goes out, the rush on all purpose seasoning at Tesco is going to go absolutely mad. Anything just becomes amazing. A steak, bit of all purpose. Chicken, bit of all purpose. becomes amazing a steak bit of all purpose chicken bit of all purpose mincemeat bit of all purpose it comes out as if you're a chef honestly I'm not even joking there's absolutely no reason why anyone should be cooking any bland food around here now do you know I'm a bit of a chef now guys well I know you've got an ingredient I'm aware of that yeah you've got one ingredient. Um Alison can you help us as your boy's older now we're struggling to get our daughter's potty
Starting point is 00:46:34 trained how did it go for you? Do you know what I don't I don't know how I did it but I'll be honest with you he just started going to the toilet it was the weirdest thing ever he used to wake up in the middle of the night and just go to the toilet. For one day, he just literally went from wearing nappies. I put him into the pull-ups so he could start feeling the wetness and stuff like that. He was like, I don't like this.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Literally started going to the toilet. I was like, oh my God, I am super mom. I am super mom. I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything like that. It just happened. I was like, oh my God. But have you ever seen an adult who doesn't go to the toilet? So the thing is, I don't think you should worry because eventually they will go to the toilet. I'm not worried, Alison. I'm not worried because I know that will happen.
Starting point is 00:47:20 But I want to know how long I've got to pick up human shit for. but I want to know how long I've got to pick up human shit for. Don't you find it weird that your child's human shit is okay? All you've got to do, Rob, it's very simple. Just add a bit of all-purpose seasoning, it's totally fine. So Lorraine, what's your set up parenting wise? Well, we've just got the one and she is a grown woman and far more sensible than I will ever be. And she just celebrated her 26th birthday and she was over in Singapore and working
Starting point is 00:47:53 in Singapore, been there for the last three and a half years and I've really missed her. And then she's back here, which is lovely. And like, of course we're driving her crazy, but that's kind of our job. Have you defaulted to like when she was a teenager again, have you defaulted to those roles? Not really, it's quite different. I think she is kind of more like the parent. Looking far is and telling us to tidy up. It's really quite weird. It's mum you have to tidy up you know and she's like she goes out and like does the shopping and we have to see what we want. It's really quite actually it's fine. She looked quite nice. I'm quite enjoying it but we do drive her nuts but that's fine. But you know what she was
Starting point is 00:48:34 quite good. The teenage years weren't too bad. I mean there was a lot of eye rolling and a few doors slammed but it was actually okay. But the thing with us was I was away for quite a lot because I worked down in London and we were all together until she was about 12 and then went back to Scotland for her to go to secondary school in Scotland and my husband really wanted to go home as well so I did the commute. Not every morning surely. Not every morning, not every couple of days. It was crazy, it was crazy but it was doable then because Dundee has got an airport, tiny, tiny little airport which is so easy to get there and it's just a doodle to check in and everything. It was a joy.
Starting point is 00:49:11 It was like getting the bus and we went from London City. But Steve was the parent that would say, eat your broccoli, brush your teeth, do your homework. And I would be the parent that was like, hey, look, I've got a heat magazine and then free lipstick. And I was like a good cop, bad cop a little bit. So it was a wee bit strange, but it's all the time. I mean, I just feel that it's been two minutes ago that she was a wee tiny baby and it's just gone by so fast.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I know everybody says that to you, but until you're living it, I think it was literally two minutes ago that she was a wee toddler and interested in everything. I love the toddler stage when they're interested in everything. And it takes you about half an hour just to walk down the street
Starting point is 00:49:48 because puddles are really interesting. And the questions and the why, why, why, I just, I loved all that. The curiosity of kids, I think is the best thing. How was it, how was it as a teenager when, you know, you were being so famous and on the telly every day and everyone knowing, you know, a household name, knowing that, you know, her mum was Lorraine Kelly, how was that as a teenager? Was she proud of you? Was she a bit embarrassed? I would say on the whole, probably more embarrassed
Starting point is 00:50:13 than anything else. I mean, of course, she was really funny when I remember when she was tiny, and she said to me, and it was before people would come up for selfies. And she did say to me, she says, Mum, why do you scribble your name on bits of paper for people it's weird. She was kind of quite bemused. So she's never really known anything else and the thing is when I'm at home I'm just her mum. She was never really that impressed which I think is quite healthy although when she was five and she went Westlife she quite liked that. Do you think like most people obviously the thing that they have is they're like oh my god the early mornings,
Starting point is 00:50:46 but you were getting up at five anyway. So you were probably getting up first anyway. It wasn't a problem for you. I know it wasn't. That was one of the joys of working at the early, that you add up. And when she was teeny, teeny tiny, a couple of times I was able to take her into work.
Starting point is 00:51:01 And that was because you can just pick them up and carry them. So that was okay and obviously I wouldn't leave it on her own, one of the team would keep a wee watchful eye on her but I didn't do that very often but at least I had the you know occasionally I could do that they were really good. So you were sat there doing an interview knowing that there's some runner who's looking after your baby in the green room. She was sleeping but like I say that probably over the years only happened a handful of
Starting point is 00:51:25 times. It was only if there was an emergency or something. And of course, when I needed them, my mum would come down. I mean, when she was born, my mum was like, right, it was 11 o'clock at night. And I phoned my mum and of course, she's in Glasgow and she's like, how did I get to you? Obviously, I'd say the country's got a kind of view of Lorraine Kelly, a very kind of clear character. Would you say as a mum, I can't imagine you disciplining a child? Can you tell someone off Lorraine?
Starting point is 00:51:52 Can you get angry? Oh yes, I can. I mean, it takes a lot. I am like being typical Hulk. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. We saw the Esther McVeigh clip. I've seen that. I don't do it very often.
Starting point is 00:52:03 I really don't. But like, that's who my pals know. Do you know what I mean? That's who, that's who. When I'm sitting having a few drinks, then that's who they know. And then they say, tell me about this one. What do you think? I go, well, wait till you hear this. I have to keep her caged.
Starting point is 00:52:24 But yeah, I find it really difficult giving her into trouble. But thankfully, she hasn't really given us much trouble. The thing I am though, the thing I would always say is I'm not her best friend. I'm her mum. You know how you hear your parents sometimes say, oh, we're really, really good pals. And some people go out with their kids. I mean, we would go out for something to eat with her or something, but, and I would like to think that she tells me everything. Of course she doesn't. Why would she? I'm her mum. You don't want to hear everything. And that's why you've got your pals to tell all these things.
Starting point is 00:52:54 So I think, I think it's a bit of a strange idea to think that you can be your children's gain. And I don't think it's a good thing. So, so if she says, mum, I need to tell you and you go, I don't want it's a good thing. So if she says, mom, I need to tell you, and you go, I don't want to know actually. I'll just tell you mates. So do you try and talk to them about like, did you find that you totally comfortable talking to your 15 year old daughter about, you know,
Starting point is 00:53:19 boyfriends and what she's up to and all that kind of thing? Yes, my mom, I grew up and my mom, she would be like, no boyfriends, they're just gonna want dig you out. Now, if I break that down in like translate that in English, it means they're just gonna wanna have sex, but her word was dig you out. That was her.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Dig you out. That's a traffic image. That's what. Like a fucking highway maintenance worker. That's true. That's what! Like a fucking highway maintenance worker. Jesus Christ. Treating it like it's tar macking. Fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:53:50 From your mum. And depending on what kind of person you are, you might actually find that quite intriguing. Yeah. I'm going to treat you like HS2, baby. I'm going to open the thing and dig you out. My dick's going to be like a shovel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Oh shovel dick's turned up. Oh again. You know what I mean? He's not saying that shovel dick. He might not have a job, but he's got a shovel dick. You know what I mean? So. Could I just ask, was it just your mum's phrase or is everyone saying dick, dick you out? I don't think, I think there's a few people that might use the term and it's a very vulgar
Starting point is 00:54:35 term, but I think it's in the term of like, there's more context to it, you know, there's more layers to it. It's more about not just the physical, but it's the emotional and mental analogy behind it in the sense of having no respect for you. And just, you know. Yeah, because digging someone out, the term I was like taking the mickey out of them or being horrible.
Starting point is 00:54:57 If someone's digging you out, you go, oh, they're digging me out for my outfit and stuff. Not that term. So I think maybe just like the message was maybe just disrespect, was it disrespect you? Yeah, I think that, yeah, just like disrespect, you know, have sex with you and leave you and haven't got no, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:14 feelings for you, you've got to be careful. So I've kind of taken a different tone, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Was that conscious decision then that you thought, well, I didn't really get what I needed. I had questions about dating or growing up and stuff like that. But I didn't really get the chance to speak to my mum about it. Was it a conscious decision then that you thought, well, I didn't really get what I needed. I had questions about dating or growing up and stuff like that. But I didn't really get the chance to speak to my mum about it. Was it a conscious decision to realign your approach for your daughter?
Starting point is 00:55:33 Yeah, I think so, because I think like my mum was great. And, you know, my friends used to talk with my mum, we used to laugh. And she'd just say, because she was older, say the most hilarious things. But I still think like in this day and age, I think I've got to come with a little bit of a different angle. I find these kids have got so much other kind of areas where they can hide information. So I feel like I have to kind of, you know what I mean? There's so much different apps.
Starting point is 00:56:00 There's so much different people out there. Their reach of speaking to people is just so wide. So I thought, you know what, let me just try and work to both of their different personalities. My daughter's more the one that will cringe and not want to hear it. And my son, he's open. He knows everything. Oh, but he wants to ask questions and he wants the answers. My son's a kind of kid where he knows the answers already, especially if it's quite an uncomfortable question, but he will still ask you just to see you embarrassed. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:56:33 What kind of things does he ask? He'll just be like, Oh, you know, so labour is really hard. I heard there was a thing called tearing. Who is that, Mum? My God. Bloody hell. Why only heard that three years ago. Yeah. Well, this is what I'm saying. He would ask, I don't know if he's asked that specific question, but that in a kind of, he will
Starting point is 00:56:56 ask that real deep where you're like, what the hell? Are you do you ever double down and try and embarrass him back? No, this kid tried that as an option? No, this kid's different, man. He's... I swear, Dan, he's a different... This different's a different breed. LAUGHS
Starting point is 00:57:15 That's it for this special Best Of episode. I'm Natalie Cassidy, and I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time and here it is. I'm going to be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly you. I want to talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile and how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people. So get on board, become part of my community and let's have a laugh.

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