Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S01 EP23: Rosie Ramsey

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP23: Rosie RamseyJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lock down and beyond is the brilliant actor, presenter Radio DJ and podcaster, Rosie Ramsey. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Think about something you're good at. Now think about how you got there. Chances are, you had someone to help you get started. If you're thinking about starting to invest, Questrade's award-winning support team is here to help you learn how to become a better investor. From placing your first trade to setting up customized stock alerts, Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe. And I'm Rob Beckett.

Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell, the show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe.

Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. won't. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... And... What the hell's going on there? Someone's trying to burn it at the end. Yes! What the hell's going on there? Someone's burnt it at the end.

Great effort all round. Where's that from? I love the fact that someone's burnt their, they've burnt the dinner or whatever they've burnt. That's toast, right? That's got to be toast. No, because toast is like, that's an internal burnt it. If you burn toast, that's not an announcement to the room, is it? That's like, like oh in the bin

let's go again you know we're in the first world here we can do that but i've burned it that's like a bit of that's like a cake or a bit of a roast dinner or something like that that's like a big moment of the day and you're like shit i've burned it not not a bit of toast anyway it'd be lovely to know who was it was that so this is uh it says hi wash jiddicum and bob racket um jenny who lives in hong kong and her two-year-old george uh oh here you go even though he gets josh's name right you can hear her husband's anguished cries from the kitchen as he's burnt the dinner while she's in the living room trying to get him to say your names oh it's always nice to hear other people's anguish yeah i love people being angry but like over little things it's a

great feeling to watch someone lose it when i've started playing golf and that is the perfect place to watch someone completely lose their head over nothing it's essentially a walk with a club isn't it i just i i know that i'd be that person losing my head. So that's, I know, see, I know that the problem is, so I'd play the first shot, it'd go well. Then the second shot, I'd go into the bunker. And I know that I haven't got the, once I'm in the bunker, I haven't got the mentality to put that behind me.

You'll be the person to try and break the club on their knee and then hurt their knee. That's what I imagine you'd do. How's your week been? Shall I tell you how my week's been? Yeah, I think you've had a more eventful week. Let us know what's happening, John. So we went to the garden centre on Monday in the new car, which was all very exciting.

And my daughter, I got bitten on the back of her leg by my wife thinks dragonfly right and this it got much worse but you know when something's like bad enough to take your child to the doctor but it's out of hours so you have to go to the hospital because they've got an out of hours surgery and you sort of know it's not bad enough for that but you need someone to look at it so the moment you say we're taking our daughter somewhere at 8pm, people are like, oh my God, is she going to be okay? So we get to the hospital. This is a moment, Rob.

We go in and they say, only one parent allowed in. And obviously I was wearing a mask, so the smile wasn't detectable under my mask. LAUGHTER detectable under my mask. They could see it in the eye though. They could see it in the eye. I can see a smile through an eye before the mouth. So they knew.

So I had to go. I'm the only one that can drive of the two of us. So I had to go. Also, you're only allowed in the car park for an hour. So I like I'll just I'll go and move the car I thought I'll go and get some petrol for something to do but then it was no return within two hours at the hospital so I realized I couldn't drive back there but I didn't want to drive home because that's too far away from the hospital so I ended up sitting in the car park of a 24-hour tesco um i thought i need to buy something so i went in and i bought a bag a bag of watsits and a milky way and i sat in the car

that's a weird choice it's like you're a child i know but i wanted a bag do you know that why i think and i reckon most of milky way sales are done on this i wanted a chocolateel. Do you know why? I think, and I reckon most of Milky Way sales are done on this. I wanted a chocolate bar, but I thought I can't have a full chocolate bar at 8.30pm. That's absolutely insane. So I kind of had a Milky Way to kind of scratch the itch, but not feel bad about it. Like a kind of healthy option. Light away, isn't it? It's a light away.

You could have had Maltesers, something like that. You couldn't bang back a Yorkie at 8.30pm. No, exactly. It's too much. It's too much. I didn't want to ruin dinner. We hadn't had dinner yet as well. So I was like, I can't have a Yorkie just before dinner.

So I sat in the seat of the car, ate my Watsits and my Milky Way and listened to Liverpool versus Brighton, a completely dead rubber match that didn't matter at all. And I've never been happier. But surely there was another way you could have spent it. What would you have done? Like, was there any other options? And I needed to be ready to drive back at any moment.

So you couldn't get pissed? I couldn't get pissed. You couldn't sit in the car park and have like four cans? Yeah, I've got my four cans and a Milky Way. You had to get a cab back. There was a special offer on Cronenberg. Oh, well,

so she's okay now then and that's all good but you managed to get out of sitting in the hospital for two hours. So actually that was payback. I haven't mentioned this. On the Saturday,

so I'm tidying out the shed. I thought that'd be some good time on my own. Like, Rose's mum lives on her own so she can bubble with us like she can go back and forth oh yeah yeah so she by the way that part of the bubble i i totally know that that is true with you that she is part of your bubble

but the amount of people i speak to and they're like show me a photo of something they did go oh yeah they're part of our bubble i'm like how big's your bubble it's like he's out on a beach of 15 geezers? Oh yeah, the bubble. It's the bubble. It's like the get out of jail free guy. Yeah, the bubble, part of the bubble. You know the bubble thing we can do?

Yeah, part of my bubble. That's fine. Yeah, part of the bubble. Ridiculous. But I know this is a fair, honest bubble you've got here. So I was like, it was Saturday afternoon. And I was like, I quite like just doing a task on my own. And I was like, I've got a podcast I want to listen to. I'm just, I'm going to go and tidy was like, I quite like just doing a task on my own. And I was like, I've got a podcast I want to listen to.

I'm just, I'm going to go and tidy the shed, which needs doing, take all the stuff out of the shed, get rid of the stuff we don't need and then put it back in, tidy it up because we're putting some stuff in there. Classic Dad Saturday. Classic Dad Saturday. That is the quintessential Dad Saturday

with a podcast on, a pair of old shorts, you're getting a bit dirty, you're having it. You're at the time of your life. I did this so that you're all a pair of old shorts. You're getting a bit dirty. You're having it. You're at the time of your life. I did this. So you're right about the old shorts. I started and I was like, this is heavy work. So I basically got into the kit I wear to go to the gym. So I was in my sports kit.

Yeah. Yeah. Worrying about the rain. I've left it outside the shed. What if it rains? I'm going to have to put it all back in. Anyway. Yeah.

So you're clearing out the shed. I'm loving it. Yeah. So I was like, this is time on my own. And then my daughter comes out and asks if she can help. And you're like, oh, God, of course you have to say yes. But suddenly the game's totally changed. I think you do with the first one.

When you've got two, you just go, no, because you're going to fight. But, yeah, I think you'll learn. I think we're about to hear why you should have said no. How did it go with the help? So she's fine. She's kind of walking. It's really dangerous as well, because there's like bits of piping

and there's a really heavy fireplace. And then Rose comes out and she's like, says to my daughter, do you want to come and get an ice cream? Which I was like, thank guess. Here we go. Here we go. And then...

Hog ass back in at this point. No, but then my daughter's like, no, I don't. But I still, but she wants an ice cream. So then, I don't know how this happened. We ended up in a situation where Rose and her mum go and get an ice cream while I'm tidying the shed and looking after her daughter. So I've basically got the worst of both worlds. And they're out getting an ice cream.

They left the house. Oh, no. The tables have turned. A perfect afternoon to one of hell. worst of both worlds and they're out getting an ice cream they left the house oh no what the tables have turned a perfect afternoon to one of hell exactly so you're looking after the kid and tidying the garage yeah oh my god i couldn't believe it anyway that's not acceptable both adults i know to get ice cream that's getting ice cream is the positive and the the doing the parenting and doing the chair that's two jobs that's totally unacceptable i'd have been fuming josh i was absolutely fuming so that's why i felt like hospital was payback oh fair enough um could i complete the triple of my week yeah go for it so yesterday so so my daughter got cold from nursery. So she's quite sniffly.

Then my wife got it. So then she loses her voice when she gets ill. She's got kind of problems with her vocal cords. And then I, my dodgy neck kicked in, right, on the same day. What's wrong with your neck? So about every six months, my neck goes into kind of, you know, like when it's like into a spasm, like it's stiff and it hurts. No.

Have you had this? It's from laptop. It's from like years of sitting badly on a laptop. Oh, right, posture and stuff. Yeah, I've not had that, but I don't really write my material, though, do I? Turn up and shout. A lot of craft goes into what you do, Josh.

A build of a narrative of really good jokes, callbacks, I just sort of go, yeah, Cuscus is that fat sand, isn't it? We've all got it. Stuart Lee's got a bad neck. Daniel Kitson's got a bad neck.

All the nerdy ones. And they're just truth slayers like me, bowling out, got a strong, solid neck and nothing written down. Like an absolute cowboy. A stiff neck, no notebook no notebook well that's why

michael mcintyre does that thing where he moves his head from side to side because his neck's so loose because he just rips his material he's riffing he's making it up he's wobbling his head all over the place look at the old stiff neck crew with their notebooks turning up look at look at milton jones he can't even move he He's just stiff. Even his hair's stiff. He's so well written. Anyway. Anyway, so you've got a bad neck. I've got a bad neck.

I wake up and it's the worst it's ever been. I basically couldn't get out of bed. And Rose couldn't speak. And we were having to parent. Do you know you need Ellis James round 4am to take control? You've got a bad neck, bad back, can't speak. Super dad. So basically we were having to parent all Sunday morning.

I couldn't really stand up and Rose couldn't really speak. It was like a kind of improv game. I'm having to do the communicating, whereas Rose is having to do any physical with our daughter. Yeah. Together, we were one parent. But if either of us left the room, either there was no communication

or you couldn't physically do anything with our daughter. It was really high-octane parenting. Very tough. Oh, it's an awful Sunday. But my neck's a bit better now, and I'm going to see my osteopath this evening. You love Taco Bell after a night out, but the new Cantina chicken menu from Taco Bell to now and I'm going to see my osteopath this evening. So let's be clear.

When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about?

FedEx. Oh, but let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping.

FedEx, where now meets next. So Rob, we'll cover your week in the second episode, shall we, on Friday? Yes. Yeah, not as eventful, but a lot of my kids go mad. And I'm going to talk to you why, if you're a parent, you should take up golf, right? Even if you hate the sport, because it's a great way to get away from childcare. But yeah, we'll cover that next week and some correspondence i've got a few salty and non-salty emails about you josh so oh no okay we've got some other great emails we've got uh

someone wants your advice uh we've got someone who also um found out why the the uh character takes their trousers off in the bing um oh so we'll cover that on friday you're very excited to hear that aren't you oh yeah why does he get it out why does he take his trousers off in the intro to bing all will be revealed not literally we're not gonna actually see that panda's cock but the info behind it will be revealed on friday um who we got today on the on the show as a guest joshua we have the amazing uh rosie ramsey So we had Chris Ramsey, who is her less talented husband, on a few weeks ago.

You might know him as the dancer from Strictly. You're absolutely peppering him there. Poor old Rambo, getting absolutely a kick in from Widdicombe. That's what done his neck in. He wrote that all last night. He was doing that. Hunched over his laptop. What can I do for the intro

for Rosie? Also, this was recorded before she announced they were expecting another baby, which is exciting news. Yes, great news. To add to Robin. So, yeah, it was great. She's excellent, Rosie. The king and queen of podcasting,

Chris and Rosie Ramsey. So we've had both of them now. Yeah. Did they win an award at the podcast awards? I think they must have. I think they might've won people's choice at the podcast awards. That's the only award that matters really at any awards, isn't it?

The one that actual people who listen to it vote for. Well, that's the kind of person with a loose neck would say that. Whereas I'd want the writer's choice award with my stiff neck that's what i'd be looking for oh yeah not them fucking clean shirts in an office sitting around a ballroom going what do you think was the best show on telly this year i don't know what i don't give a fuck what you think loads of stiff necks in there all tensed up so they win their awards the only reason they do awards is for people that could have had a better career than being a comedian and their parents are disappointed.

So they need to get one to prove a point where I'm already exceeding expectations hugely. So I don't need I don't give up a career as a barrister to do what I do. Do you know what I mean? I've not got upset parents that are embarrassed to tell them that their sons are comedian when they're at a dinner party. They're proud. So I don't need a little statue do you know what i mean but you know what if the stiff necks need them to keep the parents happy keep going with the awards good luck to everyone involved here's rosie ramsey enjoy her who is not a stiff neck rosie ramsey she's a she's a relaxed entertainer that sounded like brent. She's a relaxed entertainer. That sounded like Brent. Anyway, it's a great podcast.

Enjoy it. Hello, Rosie. Hello, guys. You all right? Good. Thanks for doing this. You're welcome. Thanks for having us.

How are you? You good? All all right? I'm all right. Well, you know, I keep telling people I'm all right, but no, I'm miserable. Miserable is sin, if I'm completely honest with you. What's causing that? What is it you want to happen to make you feel better?

What's the problem? Honestly, I just want life to go back to normal. I just want life to go back to normal. I feel like it's been too long and it's just... But I was sick by week two, to be honest. I've been constantly just fed up. My friends stop asking me now, how are you? Because I just bring everybody down. sick by week two to be honest like I've I've been constant constantly just fed up like my friends stop asking me now how are you because I just bring everybody down I'd say it was a really like

positive chirpy person you know when we interviewed Jack D that's what I was expecting but this come on do you know I normally am but I think everything that made me chirpy and happy was taken away with lockdown so it's do you know what I mean? I'm very much, I'm a people person. I love hosting. I love having parties. I love seeing my friends and my family. And then when Boris was like, right, okay,

just stay in your house with your, you know, significant other and your child. I was like, this is, this is going to be hell on earth. And it has been, but you know, it's getting a bit better now. And I'm just, I'm trying to look at the positives. I'm trying to be, you know, I read The Secret again and I'm trying to just be positive. I don't know if it's working, Rose.

Do you judge him by the one minute, 36 seconds of this interview so far? I'm so sorry. I don't think they'll use that to sell the book, your endorsement, Rosie. I'm the most miserable I've ever been. I've read it again and I think it's helping. Rosie, we've had Chris on the podcast, obviously. So just to remind the listeners, you've got the one, you've got Robin, it's four, in the house and you've been under lockdown with Chris.

And you've obviously been more of a stay-at-home mum, but before you had Robin, you were going to be working on the radio is that correct on a radio show and then since that you've done your Instagram's gone mad and your podcast is huge you've got a book out in September Shag Married and Annoyed which is available for pre-order Rob we wrote that book we wrote half of that book during lockdown so I'm just hoping I'm hoping it's funny like honestly I'm praying to god that it's funny I read it back to do the edit and I was like no it's okay but then I just remember how miserable I was but Rosie it must be very difficult in lockdown where you know you've got a four-year-old that needs loads of attention and then not only are you

working from home with your you know you're doing the instagram stuff you're also having to do a podcast of your husband about your life where for weeks there was nothing happening was there apart from just being indoors it was not like oh i went out the other day or you did a bit or it's actually you've just sat with someone all day looking after a kid and then when the kid goes to bed you've got to then record a podcast about your day when nothing happened and then write a book when nothing's happening so how did you manage that oh god even you were just talking about it there's made me feel a bit suicidal um no just it's been hard honestly I'm not gonna sugarcoat it it's been hard but to be honest the podcast we I actually started to look forward to it because we just had a laugh. And usually we get pissed when we do it.

So it's like, right, let's just do it and let's just chat shit together. And it was really good fun. But like you, obviously, my husband's a stand-up comedian like you guys. He's never here. So the podcast was usually a lovely thing because it was like, oh, we get together and we chat. Like, what have you been doing? You've been so busy. I've been doing this doing this and then have him home all the time like it's been horrible and he did the one show last week in London and I swear I was euphoric for a week it was

absolutely nice but he's back now so it's back to back to normal but um the only time the one show has made someone euphoric i think in the history of the show i was like thank you so much bbc for taking them off my hands but um do you know what i'm i sound extremely negative it's uh it's been nice in the fact of chris has been with robin loads uh because he's worked away from when he was born like like you guys touring is just takes up so much time so much of the year so that's been quite nice we've had a lovely little bit of family time and yeah so I'm trying now after I've read the secret again I'm trying to see the possible bits of it and that's that's one of them that I'll take and uh and my garden looks nice yeah so that's good I've done a lot of gardening. I don't want to be boring, but this sun coupled with lots of rain

is an absolute godsend for the grass. I don't want to be that guy saying it needs it, but your garden does need a bit of rain. So it has been good. The gardens are looking good. God, Rob, when did you lose your edge, mate? I can tell you when. When my entire tour got cancelled the end of March.

That's when I lost it. Oh, God. Were you guys meant to tour this year? Yeah, I was on tour. And Chris was supposed to start his, wasn't he, Rosie? Chris was meant to start his in March. And then we've got one in September, which we're still just like, what's going to happen?

And then he's off again in October and uh yeah just it's the not knowing that gets me I'd rather just know either way yeah yeah we just gotta wait and see I guess what can you do because you guys are doing Wembley Arena you and Chris with your podcast and so obviously Chris is you know he's a stand-up he does big audiences every night how do you feel like about like you're excited are you are you scared he's a stand-up he does big audiences every night how do you feel like about like you excited are you are you scared what's what's your feeling about that a little a little bit of both I think um I am excited I used to work in theatre so I used to do um not never stand up or anything like that but um I used to kind of do theatre shows so so I'm used to being on stage. But I think for the first thing to do in,

I haven't really been on stage for about, gosh, probably for about five years. And then it's like the first thing back is going to be Wembley Arena. Wow. I can't think about doing a couple of warm-up gigs, Rosie. I think we should, you know. Can you imagine? Just like, I'll be shitting my pants.

Because you're more of a singer, though, really, than a sort of comedian. Because the podcast is funny and it's sort of played for laughs. So it must be different for you to go on stage knowing that it's just the conversation that you're having as opposed to your singing or dancing performance. Yeah. I've never not been on stage without a script or like a song to do.

So it's going to be really strange. But it's that thing of I can't believe people have bought tickets just to sit and listen to us talk yeah like you have given them a lot of free content though up to this point yeah it's going to be weird but i'm i am excited i just like i said before um i hope that we don't have an argument yeah before we go on stage because that would be that would be terrible i can't look at him i can't look at him when we've had a fight when you're working with your husband in that situation so is there podcasts where it's just off the back of an argument yeah we did the second or the third one we ever did we'd had a massive

row because chris couldn't work out how to record it he'd lost all of the settings and and he's just it was that close to the record that it all went wrong we were sat down ready to do it and it just went wrong and we were like right well we need to do it we said we're doing it we need to do it and so we we recorded a full episode and um i listened to it back after it had been edited and i was like, that's, it's awful. We were horrible to each other. And there was just like an undercurrent of hate throughout the whole thing. So we had to do it again.

And we had to bin that episode. And it's happened again. I'm not allowed to listen to that hate. I'm not going to lie to you. That's the big money maker, that episode. I was laughing at him like, oh, so funny, you fucking prick. Why do you think my wife is powered on hate? Lou is so much more, like does more stuff in the house

when I've done something wrong. So if I go out and get drunk and come home and I'm useless, I'm sitting around hungover all day, she will be the most productive she's ever been just to be like, look what I'm doing and look what you're not doing. And she's fuelled on hate. And it's amazing for the relationship, actually. So sometimes it's good if I can't get drunk and annoy her because her to-do list gets absolutely ruined.

That's good, actually. I never thought about that. I'm a bit like that, actually. Passive-aggressively cleaning the bathroom. You wanker. When you're both on tour, who gonna have uh robin or is he gonna come with you how's the child care gonna work we've organized it where he's gonna come to um a few of them because we've got a couple of them on a weekend so i think we're in manchester for a

weekend we're doing two so he's gonna be there with either my my mom or chris's parents um so yeah we're just gonna try try and do it like that. But there's only, oh, God, I don't even, I think there's 14 dates. So it's not that big and it's spread over. It's, like, not every night. So we've deliberately done it so it's spread over. And then he starts school in September. So we've kind of, we've had to take that week.

We had to, like, schedule it so we didn't want to be away from him for that week. But, yeah, it's weird when it's together. I don't want you be away from for that week um yeah but yeah it's weird when you're like i don't want you to miss your first week of school but we could do two arena shows which um you know further down the line you'll be thankful that we did those shows we'll buy you a flat for when you're older you'll do emily twice and we'll get you a flat and that'll be yours you may have a horrendous experience of school, but you will be on the property ladder. So what do you want, Robin?

It's your call. Did you, Rob, because when I, we've got the same agent. When I was booking this tour, she was like, if there's any dates where you want Rose and your daughter to come, then just let me know. And I was like, I can't imagine anything less likely that I want on tour than to have my family sat in the dressing room throughout the show yeah like that's that's the one bit of like stress-free sitting in the dressing room is the reason I'm on tour that's why I'm going

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Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Do you still find Chris funny? Because I know Lou doesn't find me funny anymore. That's a fact. Do you know, when we do the podcast, I find him really funny.

When he's telling me a story that he's practising to put in his set, I don't find him funny at all. How was it for you then? Because you had to put your career on hold slightly because Chris was sort of like, you know, Chris did really well and then you had Robin and stuff so how have you found that because obviously you want to carry on performing did you find it difficult to sort of put it on hold yeah it was well I was um working in the radio for

Capital I was doing the drive time show um and I had Robin and then I went back to work when Robin was four months old and um I was doing full time and in radio it's that kind of job where you get the hours and they're like right well we'll do the show it was like four till seven and you come in at two o'clock and then you'll be done you'll be home by half seven and I was like that's great that's fine but then when you work in this business it's like can you come in an extra hour to do a video can you come in for this and then I was just there so much. And after five months, I think I was hormonal and I was just a bit miserable. And Chris was like, look, you don't have to work. Like it's a bit of a nightmare with childcare because he was on tour and all this kind of stuff.

So I quit, which I was buzzing about at the time. But to be honest, full-time motherhood is, oh, it's hard going. Like it's really heavy going. and I've got so much respect for people who do it for like longer than a year or so because it's so intense do you find because you've been doing four years now of full-time motherhood until maybe like the last year you've kind of gone back to working a lot do you find that that has really given you a nice break and a nice kind of way do you enjoy the parenthood more now because you're having a break from it yeah well this is the thing this I think this is why lockdown hit me so so hard because I was stuck in the house with a child for years and then I just started kind of

doing stuff I was in London and my Instagram took off I was doing loads of work I was really enjoying it and then all of a sudden it was like right okay no that's all stopped you're back in the house with your child and it hit me like a ton of bricks to be totally honest with you I was just like shit I'm back to where I was before you know whereas all my other friends who are teachers or they work full-time they're really embracing this because they're like I've got time with my children and it's wonderful. And I'm just kind of thinking, that's amazing, but I've fucking done that. And I'm ready for him to be at nursery every bastard day. That's exactly how Lou felt as well,

because my oldest is the same age as yours. We've got a four and a half year old and a two and a half year old. And yeah, we just got to the stage where both of them were in preschool three days a week. And we started in February it was like oh this is great we can have like lunchtime dates you can go off and do a bit more work Lou was applying for jobs and different things like that she had more time and seeing her mates and then like I say all of a sudden lockdown came and it really stopped a lot of people that have been waiting four years to sort of get back out there so it was a terrible time really for for certain people I think I agree I completely agree but great for other people like

my mates and my family who've been furloughed they are like they wake up every day like oh another beautiful day and you're looking at your husband doing a podcast with him writing a book with him and looking after Robin yeah we we We need to ask you, Rosie, about, because we asked Chris and he gave us his account of the day Robin lost his front teeth. Oh, I bet he did. I bet he did give you his wrong account of the day that Robin lost his teeth. What did he say?

Just that you really went to pieces and he was heroic no um he did say you were heroic and he went to pieces but it was the discussion before the bike ride wasn't it i think josh he said that um once the accident had happened uh you absolutely owned the situation and he was a mess but he said that that it was your decision for Robin to have one more go. I knew he'd say that. I knew he'd say that. Did he fully blame me? Yes.

I think, yes. He said, he even warned you because he was going, taking Robin on a bike down a slope and he went down a couple of times and he nearly fell off and then Chris caught him and then he said, let's not do this anymore. And then you said, give him one last go. And Chris said that he said, no, I don't think we should. And you said, do it. And then that's when the teeth accident happened.

Is that not correct, Rosie? In my defence, well, it kind of is, right? Because that did kind of happen. But in my defence, he was the one who was taking him down the hill. I couldn't see because I was at the bottom, probably on my phone, not going to lie. He was the one who was doing it and taking him down. So he knew how fast he was going.

He could assess the danger of the situation more than I could. Yes. And I'm sorry, but how spineless have you got to be for me to just go, no, do it one more time. Yeah. And him to go, all right,

I'll do it one more time. Even if you know it's dangerous that you're so scared to say no to you. He acts like he's terrified of us. I swear to God.

So, and you know what's annoyed me about that? I'm going to have to have a word with him because when we wrote the book, that went in the book

and we decided to take 50-50 responsibility for that incident. Oh no, no. And I can't believe he's just chucked me under the bus like this on a podcast. So we'll be having a word. Okay, well, I thought that would be resolved, but it sounds like it's just been opened up again.

You've caused some in here. We've got to do a podcast later on. Have you got a feature on your podcast you should do like a Prime Minister's Questions where someone has to take the hot seat and just get thrown at them with backup documents i'm actually after a new feature so that might work is robin aware now so he's kind of four do you think is he aware that you're doing a podcast in which he gets talked about like does he understand stuff like the fact that you're doing a podcast in which he gets talked about like does he understand stuff like the fact that you're on instagram and stuff like that nah he doesn't really know although he started

when i was doing an advert the other day and i had my camera out and he gets really excited he's like are you are you filming man and i'm like yeah so he got the stuff out the box and he was like film this and i went all right and he went hi everyone he started doing like some like a vlog and he was like, film this. And I went, all right. And he went, hi, everyone. And he started doing like a vlog. And I was thinking, oh God, he's been watching us too much. But no, we don't really, he knows that we do a podcast. Yeah. And he knows that Daddy goes on stage and makes people laugh. But other than that, he's got no idea.

Like Chris was on the one show last week, like I said, and we were watching it and he he's just not faced at all. Yeah. Like, he was just playing with his toys, just like, oh, there's my dad on telly. Like, can you imagine being a kid and your dad was on telly? Like, it would have blown our minds watching a parent. I'd have been absolutely gutted.

You're mortified enough. There's going to come a point, I suppose, where, because you're mortified about your parents when you're a kid, when you get to a certain age, what, about 10 or something like that? Maybe a bit later. So he'll start by getting excited about the one show. And then in 10 years, it'll be like, oh, no, my dad's on the one show. Yeah, not again.

What's he going to say? Well, I think Alison Hammond's son's a teenager. And when we were doing the podcast with her, he could sort of overhear things that she was saying. And he was coming in, don't say that, mum, and sort of dictating the terms. so you're in the face of a situation where you're trying to do a podcast and Robin will walk in and go, you're not saying that

as if I'm like, I'm a party exec and then you'll have to respect it won't you it's a difficult thing isn't it it's such really funny and the stuff that you do but when they're old enough to go like, no I'm not happy with that I've had, I've had a conversation as well with Chris about, cause Robin's on my Instagram,

but I never, ever, I never put him upset on there. And I never kind of like, I would never embarrass him or put an embarrassing sort of like scenario. And we were chatting and I was like, what age should I stop putting them on? Because you know,

he's going to, he's got to have a choice, you know, at some point. So we said, when he goes to school that we might sort of like not put him on? Because, you know, he's got to have a choice, you know, at some point. So we said when he goes to school that we might sort of like not put him on as much, but he loves it to be fair. Like he doesn't mind. And it's just a little bit part of his life.

We keep having to tell ourselves that we have a completely different life to what our parents had with us. Like our life is just completely different and his life is going to be completely different. And it's something that we've just got to be, we've just got to live with. Do you have ground rules on what he's on the social media for?

Or like you say, you're not when he's upset. Is there any other ground rules that you and Chris have agreed on? Or is it, you just judge it each day? We just kind of judge it each day, really. I do try to be quite honest on there, but I just like to keep robin a little when he was a baby i was probably a lot more honest but i think babies are just like

it's just a baby isn't it but now he's a little person i've got to be a lot more aware of what might embarrass him in the future but i'm just hoping and praying that podcasts have like died to death when he's like 18 because if he listens to ours honestly oh god yeah do you know what that's there forever the archive of it of going you said this yeah he's actually got proof i know we talk about we were talking about foursomes and everything it's like i just hope to god that he never listens to it never ever would you listen to if if someone gave you now a recording of your parents talking about their lives for an hour a week throughout your life, would you go back and listen to it?

I'm not sure I could face it. I don't think, no, I don't think I'd want to know. No, I wouldn't listen to it. Well, that's quite good because you've got so much out there and so much archive, they won't, it's too much. But if you just had like three hours worth, they'd rinse it. So it's better actually, more is better than less in a way. Very true.

It's like a sex tape, isn't it? You could watch a sex tape. That wouldn't be that long. But you're not going to listen to, like, two years' worth of a podcast. Yeah, so I think you're right. It's better not to have a sex tape, Rose. I think you've made the right decision.

Oh, yeah, I'm definitely not an advocate for a sex tape, Rose. Although, if the two has postponed, you never know. Ticket sales have dropped on a few refunds. Chris and Rosie leaked tape. We'll do it live at Wembley. Don't tell Chris. Refund for a short show. That arena show is only 90 seconds long, Chris.

What happened? You don't normally get nervous, Chris. What's going on? Yeah. Well done. Yeah, well done. That's longer than Chris. What happened? You don't normally get nervous, Chris. What's going on? Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Well done. That's longer than normal.

Congratulations. Oh, you get banned from the one show, imagine. Oh, no, that's not good for the one show. You can't have a sex tape and present the one show. No, I can't be having sex tapes. That's a problem. No, no, no. Would you want to be presenting together and stuff like that in the one show?

Do you know what? I don't know. I don't know whether. Like, it totally depends. It depends what it is. It depends how long it would be. But we need to always remember that we're a married couple

above everything else. Yeah. Like, this is what we tell our management. The new Richard and Judy. Oh. I don't know about that. If you were the new Richard and Judy, who would stop doing telly first?

So Judy sort of stuck back a bit and Richard's still going. Which one of you do you reckon would carry on when the other was like, look, I've done it for enough. We've had a good run at it, but I want to time off. Oh, Chris. Who do you reckon would go? Chris, for sure.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Like little fairy, like he needs the claps. He's like this. Needs the clap and he keeps going. No, I don't know. I just think we're a married couple. We genuinely love each other that's why

we got married and i think it's hard when you worked i never thought i would work with my husband so we've got we tried to be really sensible about it and that's why that you know the podcast is only once a week the book we don't know whether we do another one and it's just that you've got to keep be aware of that and at the minute it works fine um but i don't know whether if it was an everyday thing you know we'd probably be going in separate cars and separate dressing rooms and yeah you need to have a bit of time away from each other i think it's healthy yeah well imagine like you like do it presenting a show together just before the show starts you say did you book that um holiday insurance for for a holiday next week no hello and welcome to this week.

Did you mean you didn't? I'm supposed to do that last week. I told you to do that because I was like, all right, and this guy has got it and bringing people on. It would be awful. It would be terrible. It would be absolutely terrible. Before our shows, I was thinking about this.

Before our shows, we're going to have to be, like, so lovely to each other, just not, like, have any arguments hanging over us. Everything's going to have to be really lovely. Like love you, love you, have a good show, blah, blah, blah. That's going to be difficult, but we'll try our best. How are you feeling about Robin going to primary school, big school as it were?

Are you nervous or are you just excited for him to like grow up and move on a bit? Well, that comes, yeah, with the whole full-time motherhood, I feel like I've put in my graft, he's ready to go um he's such a confident kid like he is so loving being at nursery and um he's back there now he went back he's only doing two half sessions at the minute but he's loving it like he woke up on sunday asking to go to school and i was like oh i wish i could go to school today but um but let me see if it's open they might have you in if they do it might just be true the cleaners will be there

but no he's he's gonna love it and uh yeah it's great and it's it's one of the local primary schools to where we live so i know it really well um lovely yeah it's just lush like yeah buzzing from the i think that's the best thing about lockdown is, you know, generations always go, oh, it goes so quick when they're young. You'll miss it. You'll miss it. But I think we can say we live through lockdown. We had enough of them at that age.

It's not gone too quick. When you look at time spent with both parents with a child over the years and years of life, I don't think any generation spent more time with toddlers than we have no i totally agree i think they no one can ever throw that back in our face when they go oh but you miss it you miss it no we had it all we had enough had enough of it so yeah like if this lockdown had happened like in the 50s or whatever and like the parenting roles were like they are then do you think the

dads would have still been doing no parenting like yeah because like they'd have been like well i'm not going to work but i'm still not parenting that's the rules exactly yeah what would you do i'm not changing nappy i'd rather sit here and smell that shit i'm not going near it i'm a gator it's 1953 you're Get the kettle on. You're lucky I'm even awake. You're lucky I'm out of bed. Have your kids been just eaten, Lord? Oh, yeah. Just constantly, just crisps

and anything they fuck. Biscuits, yeah. They're just... She had four breakfasts this morning, my daughter. So she had half a peach. Wow! Isn't that the kind of thing the Queen would have 200 years ago? So she had half a peach. She had four. Wow. Isn't that the kind of thing the queen would have 200 years ago? Well, I tell you what.

She helped unpack the Ocado yesterday. So she knows exactly what is in the house food-wise. It was actually a huge mistake by us. And then she had a – she asked for a Weetabix, which she then rejected because she wanted two Weetabix and we she had a um she asked for a wheat a bix which she then rejected because she wanted two wheat a bix and we only have one left and then she had and so so we've got crumpets well we haven't any more right but um she doesn't like them toasted oh so she yeah but she wanted a crumpet sandwich so she had a raw crumpet jam sandwich. Can I ask a question?

How are you buttering that crumpet sandwich? Are you doing the holes in the middle or the holes in the outside? What's the outside? Holes in the middle. So the middle hole, the holes go in the middle of the crumpet sandwich. It looked so doughy. That's such a big bite. When she was eating it, she couldn't get her mouth around it.

And then so she's kind of having to nibble at it to bring it in so she could take about it looked like the worst thing anyone's ever eaten but she was almost making a point by eating it then she had a dry english muffin which we also got from a cardo my wife i didn't order these and. And then she had an egg. It was absolutely mad. Just raw, just cracked it in her mouth. She had an egg sandwich, which is two raw eggs on either side of a crumpet. So is Robin just eating everything, Rosie?

Oh, just everything. Just absolutely everything. Like with a little bit of fruit hoiding just to make us feel less guilty, but just nonstop. But then I just think, well, so am I. Like there's nothing else to do. So just crack on. Like all the rules. The thing is, the rules have been out the window for so long that I'm like, when is it just going to get back to normal? He's going to shit himself. He's going to be like, I'm getting – there's boundaries again. Like, what's going on? Got to have a bath every day again. Like, shit. Yeah. But I do notice so much with my daughters, they put on like –

it's weird because they eat loads and then they start putting on weight and getting that sort of – you know, that sort of drunk man beer belly. And then a few months time, they wake up about a foot taller and look like they're about to die from malnutrition. But they get that weird growth spurt where it goes from belly to nothing. You're like, someone feed this kid. An hour earlier, I was like, we've got to sort it out. It's like that growth spurt is like they've just been squeezed

and they've just gone upwards. Mad. Robin is so tall as well. I have no idea how. And it's bits for Gary because he looks exactly like me and he's really tall and I'm like promise you he's yours but he just looks nothing like Chris at all yeah scary because if he's got like your personality of you two both very sort of like you know gregarious and charismatic and loud. And if he's going to be like six foot three, it's going to be too much to take in. He's just a huge, huge guy.

Oh, God. Just like, hi. Oh, God. Everyone will hear him like, oh, here he comes. Here he comes. Tall, loud Robin. Bounding down the corridor. Hey, yay, yay, yay, yay.

Me and my husband. Hey, what's happening, guys? Oh, shit. He'll be old enough. I'm sure he'll be on the podcast with you soon. Oh, my goodness. He's been on a couple of times, to be honest. He's said a couple of things because he made up a really good song,

Rudy Doody's In The Night. So we recorded him doing that. So, yeah, he's been on a few times. And people have asked. I've had loads of things. People have asked me and Robin to do a podcast. And I'm like, that would be horrific. Painful.

When he's older, you could. Yeah. Because if he comes on to your one, he'll want a profit cut. You have to split it three ways. If Chris's face, if the podcast of you and Robin was higher than the podcast of you and crossing the charts, it would be a dagger to his heart.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Oh, hey. Honestly. I mean, it's quite funny at the minute because, obviously because these two got cancelled. And at the minute, if we hadn't have done the podcast and the book, you know, God knows what would have happened.

Like, it's terrifying because it's just kind of been put on hold. So I'm very much at the minute, I'm like, what do you say? And he's like, thank you. You're welcome if you and Robin do a podcast he could become the third most successful person in the house yes right that's that's the plan I'm gonna that's that's what I need to do I did say you could you should sort of stage a fake divorce and then you could be doing the podcast going for a divorce and that would be compelling wouldn't it oh if he was doing that like a showman's fake divorce. And then you could be doing the podcast going for a divorce and that would be compelling, wouldn't it? If he was doing that, like a showman's fake divorce.

You never know. That's the next stage. You never know. Jagmarry divorce. That's the one. Yeah. Rosie, it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you.

Thank you. Thank you so much, lads. Have a lovely rest of the week. Cheers. See you later. Bye. Bye.

Rosie Ramsey. Oh, she was great. Absolutely brilliant. I love hearing the other side. I liked it when we do couples. Yeah. It's a good one. It's good, that, isn't it?

We need to create a list. Maybe like Ruth and Eamon, Rochelle and Marvin Humes. Jay-Z and Beyonce. We could get Kate and Rio Ferdinand. That'd be a good one. Would you put Donald Trump if we got offered him? Yes. You would not add Donald Trump on here. Immediately. That'd be a good one. Would you put Donald Trump if we got offered him? Yes. You would not have

Donald Trump on here. Immediately. I'd have Kim Jong-il. Isn't that his dead dad? You mean Kim Jong-un, don't you? Well, that'd be a better booking, wouldn't it?

The dead dad. Imagine that in a page's career. Dennis Rodham comes out to defend him. He never actually said he was dead. He just,

it wasn't around in pictures. What a booking Donald Trump would be for this. Melania Trump? Melania Trump, I think. Oh, she would be better than Donald. That's what you want. You want the other one just slinging. Fergie and Prince Andrew.

That would be a banger. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if he's doing interviews, is he, Andrew, at the moment? No, but I've got a few follow-up questions from the last interview he did. Yeah. To be fair, the FBI can't book him. I don't think we would get him. But yes, Rosie Ramsey was superb.

I know she was saying that she wasn't enjoying herself that much, but the positivity you get from both of those two people, it'd be a lovely house to grow up in. Oh, yeah. They're so excitable and happy. Even when her and Chris have got the ump or got a bit stressed, it never really comes out. I mean, that's why their podcast is so successful.

Because even if they are quite annoyed, they're still being positive when they're annoyed. Well, I think that's why a lot of people enjoy listening to it. Also, their book comes out. I need to do a quick plug for this so you can buy their book. It comes out in September and is available for pre-order now. Shagged, Married, Annoyed. That's available online or from bookshops.

No one goes in to pre-order a book anymore, do they? Is that a thing? No. We used to do it a bit at Waterstones. I was at Waterstones for one of the Harry Potters coming out. There was a lot of pre-orders for that. It's like Nipworth, that was. How was it for you?

Which store? Talk me through it. Harry Potter release day at Waterstones. Well, it was a midnight opening. Oh, all the nerds out with cloaks. Absolutely loving it. Imagine Friday night, midnight, Nerdsville, just little glasses, cloaks, ginger wigs,

and then just like kicking out time at Yates'. They'd get absolutely pulverised. Or something would be like idiots joining the Q-Piss to go and buy like Wayne Rooney's autobiography or something. I can't. Do you remember when it was released? People would like read the book really fast and stuff. And it'd be like the first person to finish the book.

I don't think we moved in the same circles, Josh. No, I don't mean that. Down in the parks in South East London, there weren't a lot of kids fast reading Harry Potter. It's mainly cider and fingering that was happening down there yeah but they were like using the cover as a roach that kind of thing

but like I am anyway so if you do I don't know whether they're doing any early opening

Newcastle Waterstones I reckon will have a midnight opening for the Ramses book but it is out in September don't fit me they'll do a book signing a good book signing

that'll be yeah that'll be a hard day's. They'll do a book signing. A good book signing, that'll be. Yeah, that'll be a hard day's night when they do a book signing in Newcastle. Right, so thank you to Rosie. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thanks, Rosie. And we will be back on Friday. Make sure you listen on Friday,

and we'll see you then. Review, subscribe, goodbye.