Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S01 EP52: "You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 1970s..."

Episode Date: October 23, 2020

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' - S01 EP52: "You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 1970s..."More misadventures in parenting from Josh and Rob.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin B3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich indulgent experience. Treat your senses with new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell, the show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills...

Each episode, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Arthur, can you say Rob Beckett? I can't. Say Rob Beckett. No, I can't. Can you say Josh Whittacombe? Josh Whittacombe!

Oh, it looks like Arthur's got his favourite. You will notice you can only hear my voice, listeners. That's because Josh Whittacombe is currently late. So I'll let you know who that was. This is my son Arthur, age three, who in the second week of lockdown snuck an orange highlighter pen off the table decided to color his entire willy with it to make matters worse he must have really enjoyed the sensation of coloring his knob in as my six-year-old daughter said why is his willy so big and standing up like that i was mortified my friends however thought it was hilarious and often refers

to the lockdown highlighter dick incident i think i mean that it's a weird thing to read out on your own when your co-host is currently trying to get an uber back from the nursery drop-off but alas i've had to deliver the highlighter dick news solo because josh widdicombe uh listeners is um he's he's been a busy boy this last week he's recording hypothetical but he's running late and he's text me running late trying to get an uber in the rain and the thing with josh is he is one of the most disorganized people on paper you know when you listen to his comedy everything's really well written isn't it and structured but he's actually incredibly disorganized and he is running late so i am oh, oh, what's he sent? Oh no, he sent me a photo of the inside of an Uber.

Okay, what's your ETA? What will happen is, guys, I can guarantee that Josh will turn up in a panic and a stress to record this, but still have a hot cup of tea that he's made before the recording. He's one of those people, sorry I'm late, but turns up at the meeting for Starbucks.

So while he's waiting, I should deliver some information that we've got, guys. For Josh's Wi-Fi, 9.15. Okay, sorry. It's currently 9.09, and he's going to be another six minutes. He also said he's got to leave bang on. We're recording 9 a.m. till 10 a.m. today, guys. Sorry. Does it feel like a normal show?

I'm really exposing the engine under the car bonnet of life for us at the moment. Shall I record a voice memo? You can play. Yeah, go on. Yes, please. I'll reply as yes. Anyway, the thing is with Josh, right? Yeah, he's surprisingly disorganised, Josh.

He's just sent a message here. Let's see what he said. right he's yeah he surprisingly disorganized josh he just sent a message here let's see what he said still uh in the rain in the taxi so uh i'm coming as fast as i can but i'm not gonna lie having to update my uber app really i mean that's that's added two minutes on straight away the ethics with uh drinking a tea when wearing a mask in a cab i knew he had a cup of tea i knew it how have you got a cup of tea? Also, what's annoying me at the moment is he keeps mentioning the rain.

Oh, I'm in the rain, in the cab. As if the rain is holding him up. It's not a snowstorm. It's not a sandstorm. An Uber can drive through the rain. Anyway, he's on his way, people. But it's weird. When you watch Josh's comedy,

I think Josh is an excellent stand-up. He's, you know, everything's so well-written and measured and thought about. But in his life, it's weird. When you watch Josh's comedy, I think Josh is an excellent stand-up. He's, you know, everything's so well written and measured and thought about, but in his life, it's all falling apart. I often describe Josh Whitacombe's stand-up as, like, damp. When you see him live, he sort of slowly builds. He's so well put together, right? You sort of don't even know it's happening. You don't even realise comedy's happening.

But before you know it, just like damp, if you leave it long enough, it dominates the room. And I think that, I'd always say that's one of his greatest strengths as a comic. He's like the comedy equivalent of Damp. He sent another memo. Got the tea because I needed to go inside to sit down to, because the Uber was six minutes away and I had to update the app

and I didn't want to just stand in the rain, so I had to buy a tea for that reason. Okay, that's fair enough. He's had to buy a tea to get... What is he doing? Sorry, people. But don't fear. I come loaded with great anecdotes about parenthood. I'll smash out as soon as I sit down.

It sounds like he's drunk or on drugs. Right, I'll just tell you this one little thing and then he should be here in a minute. We've had a lot of people messaging saying, sans crotch fruit doesn't mean you've had your bollocks cut off. It means no fruits from

your crotch and you've decided to remain childless. Just to confirm he's not been castrated. Right, I think he's here, people. Hello, hello. Sorry. Josh! childless just to confirm he's not been castrated right i think he's i think he's here people hello hello yes sorry josh hello i do apologize hugely unprofessional can i just say a few things have happened there one i've just said how you were the one who said you had to do between 9 a.m and 10 a.m today because you're busy the the 10 a.m was the uh bit that was the the most in concrete of those two times i'm going to be honest with you oh really well how comes what time is school drop-off uh wow the traffic's got really bad on the way to and i i'm not gonna

lie rob a lot of the uh the cabbies seem to think that um sadiq khan has intentionally closed some of the roads to make my journey worse they that's the implication of a lot of the cabbies i'm working with at the moment well i i in their defense there are road shut and i say there are road shut and they go covid and i just don't that's not an answer no you can't shut a road for covid can you why and i'm not gonna lie there's not much social distancing these cars are bumper to bumper so what time is drop off it's meant to be eight but i dropped her off at 8.30. Well, it's not meant to be 8.

It's from 8. It's from 8. From 8? What happened? You just got delayed this morning, did you? No, we bought her, and this is a great investment. Yeah, she's really paying off at the moment. 20 minutes late to work.

It plays a thing where you, it plays the Gruffalo and stories. The Gruffalo, read by Imelda Staunton, who's obviously one of our great actresses as well. No idea who she is, but I'll take that word for it. Yeah, yeah, she's very good, Rob. You stiff necks lover. I'm a Sheridan Swift girl. Do you know what I mean?

That sums us up. You're Imelda Staunton, I'm Sheridan Swift. If you want The Snail and the Whale, read by Gemma Collins, I'm sure you can get it, Rob. That would be a great read. Rob's gone boring personally with Serrata. The GC thought the snail was a bit of a diva and wanted to travel. But she can play stories in the morning now.

Okay. And she's got a big bed now. So she's got the ability to sleep in further than she did previously, i.e. be awake, but we don't realise she's awake. Okay. And it didn't set my alarm. So we got up at 25 past seven. Oh, yeah, that's quite a quick turnaround, isn't it?

Yeah. A bit late. Okay. Also, I did describe your comedy like damp. Like damp? Damp. I should do some stuff on damp. That's really my... You would know. But the way you deliver it i was saying because i'm on these very all disorganized actually your

comedy is very structured and very well put together and it sneaks up on you like damp where you don't even notice it it's happening before you know it it dominates the room and it's all anyone could talk about in the room like oh my god they're smashing it but i think that is also yeah yeah and there's also it's actually it's quite financially difficult to get rid of yeah well we've paid for the ticket now i might as well sit here it wasn't a compliment though josh yeah thank you thank you also um by who's gone you need a power line adapter for your wi-fi apparently a lot of it people have got in touch in between a power line like going to the games workshop whatever it is they do um it's got a power line adapter it's like an electric cable that you have and you think you just plug straight into your

computer i'm just googling it now there we go you could wait till after the episode but this is one of the least professional mornings i've ever had 25 minutes late just googling powerline adapters oh wait a minute um there's a there's a write-up of the man you gave me last i'm just gonna read that rob and then i'm gonna yeah i i'm not gonna lie to you a powerline adapter i've tried it oh my god your wife there's gonna be absolute it nerds jizzing at the thought of trying to solve this for you now josh you You know that. Yeah, well, they're more than welcome to try. Where are you recording from today, though? The kitchen.

The kitchen. It's a bit like, with you, it's a bit like Joe Wiley on Radio 2. It's like, oh, live from Abbey Road or live, the live. It's somewhere new. If only they had Wi-Fi in the back of an Uber. That would be absolutely perfect for me. Josh, how's your week been? Fine.

We've taken a step backwards in potty training. Okay, go on. So it was a very good start in that. So the wee's she was doing in the potty. And then she went straight to poos in the toilet. Oh. There was no potty situation. I was like, this is amazing amazing and now she's gone back

she's decided to take a step back to pooing into the potty oh which is a harp right it's what's the technique for getting rid of it i go for just i basically just slam it down the toilet i sort of bang it down the toilet yeah and then i wipe it with a tissue and put it down the toilet yeah and then a wet wipe if it's stubborn and then wash my hands and then I wipe it with a tissue and put it down the toilet and then a wet wipe if it's stubborn and then wash my hands and then have a yoghurt. I don't know why I have a yoghurt. I just don't have always done. It's got to become part of your regime.

Part of the ceremony of it, do you know what I mean? So that's been all right. She got scratched at nursery. Oh, what evil little bastard did it? Do you know? They never tell you, do they? They don't tell you. But it turns out we've got a snitch in our midst.

She told us. She grasped. Yeah. What's your vibe towards that child now? Because I think I could slap a child. I also like the knowledge that I know who it is. I'd never hit a child, by the way, I should just clarify. I'd never hit a child through discipl the way, I should just clarify. I'd never hit a child through like disciplining or like,

you've got to do this. So I think I've never done that. And I never would, but I would violently revenge slap a kid. I think that's different. Is that, is that a fair headline? Or a good kick,

just a good kick up the ass. Like David Beckham on Simeone, like, like a kind of just an off the ball kind of, there you go. I look like I'm trying to pick my kid up, but little elbow. Little elbow. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I have.

I've never done it. I've been very tempted in a soft play when there's always that mad lunatic kid that is too big, running around, screaming. And like, I just think little trip sort of slow him up a bit, wouldn't it? Yeah. A bit like I feel like a footballer in the 70s. Just put a bit on them early doors and it takes a wind out their sails.

That's what you do at soft play. Get a reducer in early. Let them know you're there. And then they know that they're in a game then. They know that they can't have free run at the centre. Exactly. They know nothing's bad. They'll know like injury, but just a little,

hello, just to let them know you're there. Yeah, exactly. That's fair, isn't it? Yeah. I've got a funny update about, you know, I gave a shout out to my brother,

the Broccoli Barber. Oh, yeah. Anyway, loads of people followed him, so thank you for doing that. But loads of people messaged us going, they were searching for the Broccoli Barber. Mate, we should have got that. We should have started that Instagram.

The Broccoli Bar. Obviously, I hadn't heard of Broccoli in South East London. It's a place. They were looking for the Broccoli Bar. My brother didn't know that I gave him the shout out, and he thought he was getting loads of weird bots because he'd got loads of followers. And the first one was about 3, 4 in the morning,

and then he realised it was all the mums and dads getting up early listening to the podcast. We should start the broccoli barber. Also, I've got another thing. My mum's complained about the giant doll that she bought for my daughter when she was born because I was saying she was desperate to have daughters in the family. She said it wasn't from a market.

It was from an actual shop. But she did agree it was actually bigger than the baby she bought it for. I think that's the key point. The market, I don't care if that's from a market it was from an actual shop but she did agree it was actually bigger than the baby she bought it for i think that's the key point the market yeah i don't care if the market wasn't the detail i remembered the fact you've been given a toy that's bigger than your child was once i was getting up anyway so i stand corrected mother it wasn't from a market i've got uh another update on my life i did go to the zoo once oh yes which was have you been to the zoo on Sunday. Oh, yes. Have you been to the zoo? London Zoo? Yeah, why not? It's a classic.

I'm a bit torn with zoos because I feel like they might be mean, but my kids love them. I think the London Zoo, they're pretty ethical. There's a picture of David Attenborough opening an enclosure. He's not going to stick his name to something bad. I'm sick of him, Josh. You need to really see which way the wind's blowing on this one, Rob. Yeah, but I don't care.

I know everyone loves him and he's old, but, and I think he's great. But I just feel like, I know that you're not mentioning anything here. I feel like Miriam Margulies on Last Leg at the moment. But I do think it's great what he's doing, but I just feel like fucking retire. Let someone else have a go at it. He has done animals on BBC for 80 years. Bloody Andy Safari Adventure just sitting there going come on mate it's my turn soon i'm gonna say it josh i've got a chip

on my shoulder about it because whenever i watch planet earth those how it was made things infuriate me it's always a white middle class bloke that went to university going oh yeah actually me and rupert sat out here for eight days to try and see the draft and i felt like let someone else have a fucking go do you know what i mean it's never a geezer watching it is it so like yeah me and gary have been here a week actually put the scaffold up yeah not seen the draft like it's all i just i just feel like let other people might engage with the environment if other people are allowed to fucking learn about it do you know what i mean yeah i don't i don'ttenborough, but I just think take someone else with you when you're doing it. Because who else is going to take over from him?

I always get the feeling with those, how it was made things as well. It really does show up how little Attenborough's doing. He just turns up in a big coat. He just turns up. To be fair, he's 93, but he just turns up in a big coat and tells everyone off for how bad it is. And I'm like, I'm doing my best here, Atten do you know i mean i'm washing out the yogurt pots what more

what more can i do and that is a lot of yogurt pots um good news our producer has just i got broccoli underscore barber on instagram so if anyone wants to follow broccoli underscore barber just photos of brock i wonder, just photos of people cutting broccoli, really. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, Broccoli underscore Barber. I mean, it'd be really upsetting for Joe's new venture. The Broccoli Barber has more followers than the Broccoli Barber. If we can get to that date, I'd absolutely love it.

So, yeah, I went to the zoo. Yeah, how was the zoo? Sorry. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, it was good. Saw a giraffe, saw a sort of tiger oh yeah i still think at three they're too young to realize quite how unlikely it is that they're going to see a giraffe in the middle of london you want to go come on mate that giraffe shouldn't be here but they're just like yeah of course the giraffe's there it's in my book do you know what i mean he's here because at some point some mental victorian

circus had him jumping off a trampoline. His granddad. Now he's here. See, this is why they use people from university for nature documentaries. Yeah, because they lie about what's happening. Oh, we're doing that. No, some mad bastard bought that from Harrods 80 years ago and now you've got it. That's why it's here.

I've never been to Harrods. Never been to Harrods. You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 70s. You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 70s? You could buy a lion from Harrods in the 70s? Yes! We're not on Would I Lie To You, Rob. Do you know in Denmark, they butcher giraffes in front of school kids and then feed them to the lions?

What? When they've got too many giraffes and they can't be rehomed or released into the wild, they just kill them and give the meat to the lions. Why do they need the school kids there? To teach about giraffes well that with the uk i've got a weird relationship with animals where the rest of the world has seen a bit more like it's just an animal and we've got to kill it essentially is that the uk having a weird relationship with the animals well the way we are with dogs and cats in the UK is very different. In like Brazil, my mate's husband's Brazilian.

And it's just like, you have a cat and a dog, it lives outside. It's not part of the family. And it's very separate where we humanise animals a lot, I think. Rob, I was recording another podcast. I mean, I did mention it on that, but I'll mention it on this because it does play into the fact I was having to do it in the kitchen. Yeah. I was interviewing the footballer Neville Southall.

Oh, yeah. Like a Zoom call style thing. And then... He didn't murder a draft, did he, mid-interview? Yeah, he did, actually. No, he wrung his neck. Big-handed. Big-handed bastard, Southall.

I've always said it. My cat jumped up onto the sideboard in the kitchen and I couldn't do anything because I had to pretend to be part of the interview and just started licking the butter dish, the butter. And I'm just sat there and all I'm doing is watching it and I can't do anything about it. I'm absolutely paralysed.

What did the devil say? Well, I didn't know. I didn't bring it up because I was like, I don't want to ruin the interview. I'd look unprofessional. And you know how I hate that. so i was just sat there during the interview and in behind my laptop i could just see a cat licking all of the butter in the butter dish oh so they couldn't see it on your screen no he couldn't see it oh but you just had to watch it

i'm just sat watching the cat licking the butter in the butter dish. In Scandinavia, they would have killed that cat and fed it to the foxes. And that's why there's such, you know, world power. And it caused a lot of controversy in Denmark, the giraffe killing, which I don't think... Yeah. Oh, shit. But in Denmark, they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm never buying Lego again after that.

Yeah, I know. But yeah, I'm not saying I'm pro giraffe killing, but I was just saying. No, I didn't. But you could buy a Lions in the 70s in Harrods. Surely you have to pre-order. They're not there, right? I think they were.

I do honestly think they had cubs in there, like you could go and play with and buy, like you would in a pet shop. Oh, my word. Yeah. Didn't Grace Jones ride a tiger in Studio 54 in the 70s if I made that up? That can't be true.

I don't know. But I do think we should probably talk about parenting in a minute. Sorry. Yeah. Right. Shall I tell you about my week of parenting, Josh? It's been busy, yeah? So, basically, my daughter's obsessed with trying to count to 100,

and it's the most boring, infuriating task. It takes trying to count to 100. And it's the most boring, infuriating task. It takes ages to count to 100. Yeah. And what has she got to? Well, she can. But she does it all. But basically, for some reason, she can count all the numbers apart from 29, 39, 49. So she does it all.

21, 22. And then she gets to 28. And then she's like, uh. And I'm like, 29. She goes 29. And then she does it all got a 20 21 22 and then she gets to 28 and then she's like uh and i 29 she goes 29 and then she does it all then she gets 39 so i don't know why that nine's firing her off or she goes if you count to 100 again i'm like no also josh i cannot tell him how to spell right i don't understand the phonics situation yeah So it said cafe was on the screen. She went, Daddy, how do you spell cafe? And I went, C-A-F-E. And she went, what?

And I went, I don't know how to tell you. And she wanted you to say, C-A-F-E. But C's aren't always cur, because the cur is a K, isn't it? Well, Jesus, whacked, Rob. Because a ceremony is not cur-ceremony, is it? So C's a bit like an S, isn oh god it's awful relic um are we old yeah all right can you work snapchat can i um no no me neither i've got no idea what's happening have you reached the point where you're you know like when you're a kid and there'd be things like your mum would struggle to work teletext and you'd think, I am never going to be that person.

And now I'm actually kind of relaxing into it and quite embracing. Yeah, it's a balance though, isn't it? Because you don't want to be too far removed, but you don't want to look like, oh, hi guys. You know, I'm trying to be too trendy. Is there anything worse than someone who's in their 40s pretending that they like Dua Lipa? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Well, that really into grime. Yeah. And I'll be honest with you, that last Dua Lipa album is great. But I have gone off Wiley. So there we go. So that's one out of two. You've gone off Wiley. Oh, that was so funny.

Wiley used to be on my pre-show playlist, right? And then obviously the pandemic, I didn't kick for ages. And I just used my pre-show playlist, like it before show in August at the open air theater. And while he was on it and I was like, quick,

change. I didn't know if we'd been canceled or not, but I didn't know. Oh God. I mean, the song's great. Yeah, sure.

But I don't know. Put some Kasabian on that. We fine. Oh, no, not him! It's hard to keep up with who's awful. Because I want to make a moral decision on it, but I can't... If you don't watch the news...

You can't imagine that, because if you aren't really on social media, the Wiley thing was more of a social media story. It sort of broke through onto the main news, but didn't really. But it's so hard to know, isn't it? We've got to talk about parenting, Rob. Oh, yeah. Right.

This is a good tip, right? If you want to feel better about your own parenting, have you ever watched Sam and Billy Fair's Mum Diaries, right? On ITVB. It's great. No, Rob. Too busy watching stuff with Imelda Staunton. Yeah, exactly.

You ain't going to get your Staunton fix in this. So basically, they are the two girls from TOWIE that are a bit older now and got kids. And it's all about their kids going to school and all that. So it's a mummy diaries, essentially. And so Billy Fez and her husband Greg are a bit more chilled and a bit more fun and silly and stuff like that where the sam the other

sister and her husband paul are quite like oh our beautiful little baby everything's quite dramatic about they're like it's very like important and pure this little kid where you know anyway so they're a bit more relaxed the other brother the other uh sister but then sam they their kid this is all right if you want to feel better about getting your kid to school, this is amazing. So it's his first day of school, young, it's called, so there's Paul and Sam and their kid's called Paul, Paul Jr. So they've got two Pauls, right? Anyway, so it's his first day of school. He never really went to nursery, which is a big sort of thing in the show that he never went to nursery. And he still sleeps in the bed with the dad, I think, and stuff like that.

I'm not sure. So they couldn't get him out of bed to get dressed to go to school he's just laying in his bed and he's going i don't want to go to school and then the dad's standing with him going it's all right son don't worry it'll be all right and all this and it's sweet but you're like just get him out of bed he's got to go to fucking school here you can't just lay you know oh i don't want to go oh yeah no but get to fucking school right i mean obviously i wouldn't go to that level immediately but you've got to i think you've got to be a bit cruel to be kind sometimes the kids anyway so you can't get him out of bed so she phones the school she phones the school right it goes oh yeah um we're

just having a bit of trouble actually that he's not we can't get him out of bed to get dressed can you imagine ringing a school, right? Oh, yeah, he's a bit nervous. I mean, it's probably the fucking film crew in his bedroom that's worrying him. When did he wake up? 5am when the film crew knocked on the door to come in and lighten the room. They brought his flat white and cross on in at 6, but he's still in bed. They brought his flat white and cross on in at six,

but he's still in bed. So she phoned the school. I think the school said, oh, well, you're obviously going, it's just lunatic ringing me that the kid can't get dressed. Like that is sending,

if I'm a teacher at walling signs, she goes, yeah, just can't get my best. And they go, well, just try your best. And if he's a bit late, it doesn't matter.

Or if he just would rather have him in, in his own clothes than the uniform, if it means that's all we can do and then we can work on getting him dressed once he sees the kids he might want to but you know and all this so they'd be really nice at school and then eventually she got and then it cuts go we managed to get him out of bed and and he's off to school and then he's obviously half an hour late because when they drop off the school there's no no cars, there's no traffic, there's no kids and he goes in quite happy, right? And he comes home from school really happy that he's gone well, right? Anyway,

and then they're sitting there talking about it and they say to each other, oh, I can't believe it. I don't think that day could have gone any better. I was like, you ran to school? You couldn't have gone any better. You ran to school to say he won't get out of bed and he was 20 minutes late to his first day. It couldn't, could i don't know on time and he got dressed i reckon

and you know you're watching it in just disbelief i was just like what do you mean it couldn't have gone any better so do you watch this regularly i loved it in the first series when they had little kids and it was a bit more traumatic because it made me feel better about like oh god you know a bit like this podcast really where you see other people struggling a bit but now their kids are a little bit older especially lockdown i feel like on the show they're sort of struggling for things to do with them because once the kids are in school really i know there's weekends and stuff but like i i'm finding like once the kids are in school like you just really love and cherish the time you've got with them at weekends yeah sure let's have a chat

about this at the end of half term because i already can feel my uh tensions rising but like a lockdown yeah the second wave of half term and the virus anyway but i do like the show and i love it for those moments when they're a little bit in their own world little thing of like i couldn't have gone better i was like yes it could but i just couldn't it just made me laugh so much but yeah it's quite a good watch yeah I will watch it I mean I don't understand what you're going to do with that show once the people once the kids are in school it's just going to be them basically sat at home basically watching their own show I think they are well one of the couples have just bought a family home that they're doing up so that'll be right and I do think they want more kids but I genuinely think they may have more kids for another series

do you know what I mean because it's like I mean cut to this sort of like this show petering out in 10 years time

and me and Lou have twins just to just to try and get it going we've adopted triplets just for the listeners what Michael Jordan was able to do was take it to that Babe Ruth place where basketball

had become ingrained in the country's entire consciousness. The Air Jordan was something that transcended all these different borders that hadn't really been transcended all these different borders that hadn't really been transcended before. The shoes gained very quickly a huge street value in American culture. And all of a sudden overnight, it was just like everybody wanted them. What the hell is a Nike doing? We're in now the 80s and we're putting a black guy on television to sell shoes to white America. What he did in terms of global marketing and giving other black athletes a blueprint to do that was quite revolutionary.

David Falk, to his credit, said, I got a name for this thing. It should be called Air Jordans. Michael always tells me it's the first and the last great idea I ever had. It was like what the Beatles were, people screaming. And then you had Michael Jordan. You had Paul and John rolled into one. They'd hoped to sell $3 million worth of shoes, and they sold $126 million the first year. No one did for marketing what Nike and Michael did for marketing. Nobody. Everything he was doing correlated to those shoes and we bought into that

because what was the tagline they were selling us? Is it the shoes? You said, man I can't be Michael Jordan but I can have this piece of what he represents. The demand of his product and product with his name on it had reached a point where crimes were basically being committed. Nike, they have a responsibility in this, and they have to do something. And if nothing happens, we'll see more cases like this. You'll see more mothers and fathers like me. The real problem is they don't want to address it in a meaningful way.

The Air Jordans are in the image of Michael Jordan, shouldn't he have some say about what's going on? I am in no way, shape or form blaming Nike for my son's death. But they can say something. One Man in His Shoes, out now in selected cinemas and on VOD from October 26th.

We've had a few more Instagram messages come in, Josh. Yeah. This is from Maximus Beardicus. I imagine he's got a big beard. Sometimes I put movies on that are in Spanish and when my kids get really confused and ask why they can't understand it, I tell them they're just tired and should probably take a nap. Then when they wake up from the nap, I put the same movie on in English and they think they're all better.

That is evil. That is astonishing. That is mental, isn't it? But that means if they ever go to Spain on holiday, they're just going to think they're really tired. Door Explorer is going to be a weird one for them. Little flashes of it now and again. I used to write on that, mate.

What, you used to write Door of the Explorer? again used to i used to write on that mate what used to write during the explorer used to write the magazines really how has this never come up before it has it's come up in my life but uh it's not sneaking like rude stuff for a laugh like no no no no no no no i'll be honest with you uh the uh i didn't have enough power there's there's quite a lot of levels above me um at the publisher and at Nickelodeon. So really, when I say I used to write it, that implies a creativity that was probably quite missing. You were told to write a story about this or that.

You'd basically watch the episode. Yeah. And then you'd have to kind of turn it into a story for the magazine. Oh, right. Okay. So you was adapting, like Oscars, best adaptation. Exactly. Very similar situation. Right, okay, so you was adapting, like sort of great, you know, like Oscars, best adaptation. Exactly, exactly. A very similar situation.

In the same way Jurassic Park was originally a book before it was a movie. No, it weren't. Was it? Yeah. Oh, you'd have to do so much imagining of those dinosaurs in that book. That's a lot of, that's putting a lot on the reader, isn't it? I think one of the things with books is you do have to do a lot of that's putting a lot on the reader in it i think one of the things with books

is you do have to do a lot of imagining right no but that's too much imagining like that bridget jones not much imagining but they they help you out so they'll say that they say like in the book the book starts and it says the main guy says he looks a lot like sam neill so you know where you are with him i tried to read have i told I told you what I tried to read, East of Eden? Right, no. It's Lou's favourite book. Right. Ever, right?

And it is so long, mate. Like, the way Steinbeck describes meadows. It's like he was on a bet. I bet you can't get eight pages on a field. You fucking watch me. I'm like, I know what a meadow looks like mate i don't you know it's grassy let's go let's go what's happening to them rob i'm gonna say it and i hold myself 88 responsible for this this has been it's a very busy week for me and i I've shambled into this episode and it's been almost shambling whenever and now I'm three minutes from having to go to a meeting I do

apologize to the listeners but I think if anything it was worth it to hear that Rob has tried to read East of Eden and there was too much stuff about Meadows oh we gotta go now then because you're busy Josh is that what's happening? I'm sorry. Unbelievable, this is. 25 minutes late, leaving now for a meeting about last leg. Pointless meeting.

Pointless. What day is it? Was it Wednesday? All the news will change by Friday. Just turn up on Friday. You don't write anything, do you? You just make it up on the spot, don't you?

Well, certainly for this episode, I made it up on the spot and I think you can see that it did need a bit more writing. Fair enough. All right, then we'll crack on with that. And if it's not hilarious on Friday, all the listeners will be furious with you. They will be.

But we'll do a proper long one next time. Proper long one next time. Thank you, everyone, for your correspondence. It's just been, you know, it's really built the backbone for this episode. I can tell you that. I love hearing from the listeners. Also, as well, if you have got a bit of extra time on your hands,

now this episode's short, I can recommend chapter eight of East of Eden. If you want some meadows explained. Right. Right. See you next time. You made it to chapter eight. Well done,

mate. I'll see you on Tuesday. Bye.