Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S01 EP66: Robbie Williams & Ayda Field Williams

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

** WARNING - THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DISCUSSION ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF SANTA. CAREFUL IF YOU LISTEN AROUND YOUNG CHILDREN WHO STILL BELIEVE!! **ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S01 EP66: Robbie Williams & Ayda Field WilliamsJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is our first ever couple - singer songwriter Robbie WIlliams and his wife the model and presenter Ayda Field Williams. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Josh Middicombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.

Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Hugo, can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. And Rob Beckett.

Rob Beckett. There you go, that is Hugo who is two and a half. Oh, I love it, huge. Do you want to hear his sister Zara who's one and a half? Zara, can it. Do you want to hear his sister, Zara, who's one and a half? Zara, can you say Josh Widdicombe? No. No? Okay, can you say Rob Beckett?

No? Rob Beckett? No. Yeah. Third Hugo. Yeah, Hugo was better, but she's younger. I mean, it's all experience, isn't it? Exactly.

You've got to put the effort in early doors. But, you know, it was a great effort. It was a great effort. And they hail from Orpington. Oh, dear. Oh, she's brave. Hugo in Orpington. Fucking hell. Jesus, wet.

Yes, that is Sophie Shea, who is from Orpington with her children, Hugo and Zara. I feel like she might have put Orpington in there because she knows I'm local, but maybe have moved somewhere. We hail from Orpington, not too far from Rob, I believe. Hail, exactly. Hail doesn't sound like you live in it, does it? No, she's moved.

There's no way you can, with good grace, call a child Hugo in Orpington, I don't think. But I think you should, and you should fight those stereotypes, but it might be a very difficult first couple of years. But then everyone gets used to it, don't they? But I don't think they and you should fight those stereotypes. But it might be a very difficult first couple of years. But then everyone gets used to it, don't they? But I don't think they still live in Alpinton. I reckon she worked in London, met a guy working in London,

and then they both got a job, you know, and thought, you know what, we can move out to the countryside a bit. We're only commuting in a few days a week. We live in Oxford now. Let's call our kid Hugo. Well, I tell you what, her email does have her LinkedIn as her footer. So I could do some research. Do it. Click on the LinkedIn. Click on the LinkedIn. It's a dead link. It's a dead link. Oh, actually, she's got a mobile number. It's a mobile up there. You've got a mobile,

her email, her LinkedIn, and her Facebook. I'll ring her. Are you going to give her a call? If you get me her number, I'll ring her and find out where she still lives. The good news is, if she doesn't live in Auburnton, you know, I was right. If she does still live in Auburnton, I'll see if she's around Christmas Eve to help me carry a trampoline. Quite nervous. What's her name? Sophie.

Sophie Shea, like Jono Shea. Oh. Hello. Oh, hello. Is that Sophie Shea? Speaking. Oh, I know it's rob beckett from the parenting podcast oh my god hello oh we've got we just got your email and then you've left so many details about your life on that email we managed to get your number we had a quick question do you still live in alpington i do yeah you do still live in alpington? I do, yeah. You do still live in Alpington. We were saying, you've called your child Hugo in Alpington.

That he's brave. Oh, God, yeah. Sorry. You're from around here, though, aren't you? Yeah, exactly. I am. I'm not too far. But Josh is here as well.

Hello, Josh. Yeah, hello. Do you want to help Rob to building a trampoline on Christmas Eve? Oh, he's quite quiet. He's quite to... He's building a trampoline on Christmas Eve. Oh, he's quite quiet. He's quite quiet. I'm building a trampoline Christmas Eve. So if you're local, could you help me carry it around?

Are you slamming my internet? Unbelievable. Anyway, Sophie, you said you hailed from Alpington. We didn't know if you moved because Hugo's a brave name in Alpington, but I'm sure he'll be fine, Sophie. You sound like a good mum. Thank you. Anyway, well, thank you very much for email, Sophie. You sound like a good mum. Thank you. Anyway, well, thank you very much for emailing in.

And you'll be able to listen to this. Do you mind if we use this phone call? No, absolutely. I would absolutely love it. To just finish on one thing, you called me when I'm gardening at my parents up the road to get my only source of income for the week. And that's exactly when I listened to your

podcast and I'd just finished listening to the last two episodes. And it's the most bizarre thing to get a phone call from you. And it absolutely overjoyed me. I can't tell you. Really, that must be quite a surreal moment. Anyway, I'm glad the gardening went well. And we'll have a good Christmas. And I promise I won't keep ringing you.

No, thanks so much. Bye. Bye. That was nice, wasn't it? That was nice, wasn't keep ringing you. No, thanks so much. Bye. Bye. That was nice, wasn't it? That was nice, wasn't it? Yeah. Very nice. You know, maybe we should, if people do leave their details,

we might get in touch with them. Yeah, exactly. If you do leave your number, we may ring you on the podcast. That could be a new feature. Yeah, we'll just ring you, see if you've been listening to the podcast. Yeah, exactly. That's the new game. That was lovely.

I thought, do you know what, though? Maybe that's a change in the times. More people like Tom Allen in South East London being, you know, open about being different. We've got Hugo's around here now, Josh. Exactly, mate. I remember when I met my first Rupert. Did you? Yeah.

My sister-in-law went out of a bloke called Rupert, and I was just in the pub looking at him going, I found one. It's a bit like, imagine, you know, like when people discovered pyramids. And how posh was he? He was quite posh. He wasn't proper posh, but I just, everyone around here is called like Gary, Steve, John, Danny.

Danny, our agent, right, our manager, well, my agent. He's from Burmese South East London. Do you know how many Dannys he knows? No. 18. That's insane, isn't it? And all Dannys's no daniels i i have got something i should tell you rob i've got something exciting to tell you

yep i am recording this in tracksuit trousers whoa my man's getting comfy what you got what you gone for talk me through it so do you know what i had had some tracksuit trousers that i found at the back of a drawer oh i'm gonna say it they're too warm your body temperature is insane my body temperature is off the scale what kind of are they really thick ones what make i've sent you a picture they are thick they are yeah i like them that looks very comfy but what i'd say is that's very fleecy. If Nike do, like, running jogging bottoms, right, which are really thin and really soft,

it's like wearing silk, and they are delicious. And also I'd recommend a zip pocket so stuff can stay in them, so they don't fall out, you don't lose your phone down the back of a sofa, and you will not be too warm. That's a great entry-level track pant. It's the fact, because they're sealed at the bottom and at the top. Sealed? Well, yeah, because they're sealed around the ankle, aren't they,

and sealed around the waist. Yeah, elasticated, you mean. Yeah. There's no hair fly, Rob. I get what you're saying, but that is one of the thickest jogging mounts I've ever seen. It looks like you're wearing a hoodie on your legs. Too much.

I couldn't go running in these. No, no, but yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. They're too heavy. You look like Rocky in big, thick tracksuits. But you need to get yourself like a really thin, lightweight one and you'll really start enjoying them because you'll be so comfy indoors, Josh.

But I'm just great. I'm so happy you started this journey. Yeah, I would be, but I've never had just legs sweating before. Josh, I'm going to buy you a tracksuit for Christmas presents. I think we should do Christmas presents. Not a full tracksuit. I'm going to buy a full tracksuit. I'm going shopping next week for everyone's Christmas presents

because I like to go out. I'm old school. I'm going to pop that down on my little Christmas list. Oh, thank you very much. Thank you very much. Josh, can I tell you a story before we introduce our guest yes so i've been working quite a lot and i think that was sort of evident in our one of our episodes we just spoke about the central heating rather than our children um because we've been working

loads anyway i've had a few days off um because that that filming work has finished um a new show new quiz show on itv coming out in the new year you can watch from 9th of december with paul sinhar and faye ripley i was on one episode and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was good fun, wasn't it? It was like a proper quiz, wasn't it? It was great fun. Showed my knowledge of gladiators. Yeah, you smashed it, to be fair, Josh.

So that's coming out. So I've been working loads. But Lou went to me. I had Friday off and then Lou said, oh, can I go out for the day? And you have the kids, you've got the day off. And I only could tell her the day before because of filming change. And I texted her in the afternoon and went, yeah, you can. She went, great, I'm going to go out and meet my friends for a brunch.

Because you can meet friends outdoors in tier two, right? So they're going to book a little place for some outdoors heated brunch. And then they were going to go out for the day shopping and having some drinks outside. OK, so I went, yeah, sure, brunch, not a problem. And she went, OK, cool. Anyway, we woke up in the morning. She went, you need not a problem and she went okay cool anyway we woke up in the morning she went you need to get up and help me and I was like well I thought you were taking the kids to school and then I was having a line because I finished work late and

then I was going to pick them up because you'll be out at brunch she went no I've got to get my train I went what do you mean you've got to get a train what before the school drop off she went yeah this is how much she must have been stressed and fed up with the kids. Her brunch was booked for 9am. Her train was 8.15. That is not brunch, is it? No, that's before I had breakfast. Even if you met someone for breakfast, that would be a bit of an early meeting.

If you had a breakfast meeting, you're about half nine, ten, isn't it? Was it a boozy brunch? No, she was sober when she'd come home, but she came home at six. She came home at six from brunch. She'd not have done a full Donny Parton like a full day at work nine to five but yeah that made me laugh that like her first day off she put nine a.m and then went out shopping it's funnier she deserved it though she'd been with them all week because i was working so i can only dream of a nine a.m

brunch at the moment rob uh who have we got today rob today Today we have got Robbie Williams and Ada Field Williams is a great interview and they split their time I think between LA and London. Yeah great chat wouldn't it? Would you ever want to split your time between LA and London? It depends on how much money I had. I think if you've got so much money you don't even notice that you split your time but I do want to be in a position where me and you have to sit down and go look lou we haven't got enough money for the central eating for the la place this month i mean it needs to be you've got so much money it doesn't matter i've got some good news about that right what's that your central heating situation in los angeles is more or less non-existent due to the weather. Because I know you like your house to be at least 400 degrees at all times.

Let's not get bogged down by central heating. We've already been ridiculed online for not having some sort of nest hive system. Oh, yeah, come on. I'm not putting a computer on my radiator, mate. Too much. I can't keep up. I don't want to control my radiator from my iPad. It's just some things you shouldn't be able to do that easy. Exactly.

I like to have some rooms too hot, some rooms too cold and not have the option to adjust it down. That is how I live. And that's how I will always live. And you want to buy an extra electric radiator that you plug in that sometimes goes on, sometimes goes off, right? That is a much better system for us, isn't it, Josh? It's much, it's much more simple.

Sometimes it's too hot in the middle of January and I just open my window to cool the house down and leave the radiator on because I don't know how to turn it down a little bit. And also, when we moved in, we seemed to have underfloor heating in the kitchen. I haven't felt it in months. But I don't need to look into that.

Yeah, sure. I paid that money for underfloor heating and the floor's cold. But I'll just leave to look into that. Yeah, sure. I paid that money for another floor heating and the floor's cold, but I'll just leave it and just go. Just leave it and see how it goes. I'm sure it'll warm up again at some point. It'll fix itself. Don't worry about it. Exactly.

It'll recover. I've got, in the garden, I've got these little lights, like little solar light things that you, like, take the solar in the day and then they light up bits of your garden in the evening and they were going like dimming and they weren't very bright and i was like oh god i'm gonna have to like phone someone or i'm gonna have to sort of buy new ones or fix them or take it apart right and then i was like oh god can't do that it's been on my to-do list for like since the summer anyway i walked past one the other day and there was just moss grown inside it. I unscrewed the top, just shook

the moss out and it works perfectly now. Six months they've not worked. Idiot. Well, let's see whether our lives reflect those of Robbie Williams and Ada Fieldwood. Here they are. Hi, lads. Hi, Donny. Hi, my love. I the uh french headboard you've got right behind you

yeah i'm we're renting i'm renting a house at the moment to do um all the promo in don't worry babe i've got all the four kids covered over here i got it oh fuck off we've been doing that for the last two weeks three weeks because i've been alone with the four kids for three weeks. No, I get it. I totally get it. I don't think you do. You've got a free board and you're getting up at 1230. I don't think you do.

Babe, I got up this morning to do breakfast shows on the radio. It's all right. You can capture all of this domestic for your podcast. Yeah, I mean, this is great for the podcast. We should want to explain what's going on here we should do you want to explain the situation rob yeah we have got a well it's our first like married couple on the show together and it feels like we've intercepted your own sort of zoom catch-up yeah we should say you're apart yeah you're in separate locations

the ida's ida's comedy trope for the last three weeks, while I've actually been doing stuff like work, is that you're ooh-training across being a pop star, and I'm looking after the four children, and that's been the... It's actually a bit of it's comedic, but a lot of it's not. And the result is I just go,

I'm putting food on the table. First of all, majority of it is comedic. There's a grain of it. Like, yeah, I am looking after the kids, but let's be honest.

Every time I called you, you were playing in your golf simulator at the manor. You have rented a manor with a golf simulator. You're putting in six hours of golf work a day. So I apologize if I haven't taken seriously the hard, earnest work that you are doing right now, but there is no golf simulator where I am. I have my simulator is screaming children.

That's my simulator. Has this been the most disjointed start to a podcast yet? No, but I think it's a fair representation. I think it's a fair representation of sort of what's going on because you're both in separate places. I just got all the kids. So how can you run us? How many children have you got?

800. I don't even remember their names. I don't even know. No, it's funny. In quarantine, we have four kids, but in quarantine, I don't know if you've experienced this, but I feel like the amount of kids that we have like quadruple, because I never, I never realized how many kids we had till we were at home with them all day long and schooling them. It was all of a sudden like, what is that? Is it the matrix when, when, when what's his name multiplies over and over like the second one.

They all became multiple beings because like each scream was four screams you know like trying to get a five-year-old in a and a six-year-old to zoom at the same time for other education was quite challenging plus like you're feeding the baby the other one's shitting somewhere i mean it was a lot it was a lot by the other one she meant me. That was Rob. But I do tell him for the most part to clean up his own mess. And how old are your kids? Eight, six, two, and nine, ten months.

Wow. That is full on. And where are you at the moment then, Rob? Are you in separate locations? Ida's in Switzerland. Where are you? I'm in Oxfordshire. Oh, nice.

I've come over to do a promo for my album, Christmas Present. And if I didn't do that, none of these children would eat. Go on. Oh, I'm glad that we're helping you out with the food, Rob. Have we noted that Rob is doing this interview from bed and he's just woken up and it's like 1pm? I'd like to put some framework around this.

Yes, I can confirm that he's still lying in bed, topless. I assumed you was in LA and you'd got up really early for this, but no, it is midday, it's Oxfordshire. So how, does this, I wouldn't be able to get away with this so how how are you how are you managing to do this robbie and not get in trouble with either i i got up really early this morning i did lots of radio shows breakfast shows to launch my single yeah and then because that was so tiring i just had a power nap and now i get up and i do this and then i've got other things to do until nine o'clock this evening so stick it up your american ass

i will i will i will shove that mild accomplishment up my ass but i would like to take it to the crowd what time robbie williams would you say and be honest be truly truly honest because we are all a witness what time would you say that you normally get up in the morning i'd say i've been really good just recently but since you've known me which is 15 years 12 o'clock in the afternoon there you go are you a student listen i suffer undiagnosed disorder called Robobism. Listen, I'm getting there. I'm getting there slowly but surely.

One minute at a time. When you say you've been really good recently, what's really good? Half past nine. Sorry. You're not agreeing with that either? No, I i'm not at what point have you gotten it but half past nine i've got i've got a fit golf thing babe you make your golf appointments for noon you don't get up to the golf course at night you do not get up at nine babe for the last two and a half weeks i've been getting up at nine o'clock

to do some serious promo and then golf in the golf simulator yes i think people will feel i mean i'll take it i'll take it to the group but it is it does sound trying to be a pop star doesn't it sounds difficult it's difficult for me and rob obviously because we've got fake jobs as well yeah what time do you guys get up with your fake jobs and your fake jobs? I got up at 6.30 this morning. Wow. I get up about 7 every day with the kids. You see them in the morning. You see them

in the morning. Yes. I walk mine to school. That's kind of you. Yeah. I pick mine up. I can't do the pick up, so I do the morning. That's what I do. I can't do the morning, so I do the morning. That's what I do. I can't do the morning, so I do the pickup. There we go, Rob. We should have a child together. We'd be a perfect couple. What time do your kids normally wake up then, Ida?

They wake up at about 7.30. Oh, that's not too bad. It's not bad. They're good sleepers. They're good sleepers. They're very good sleepers. They get that from the dad. I still can't. I've got a question about this power nap you've had robbie where i would if i have a power nap that's normally you know fully clothed on the sofa you you are basically naked at the moment i've never stripped to nothing to have a power nap before that's just kind of bad in it i did all of the interviews this morning for the radio people.

Some of them were actual Zoom in the studio. I did all of them like this because I'm an eccentric pop star. You did not do the radio interviews like that. Did you, babe? Did you really do a topless in bed? Yeah. Wow. Strong show. You married

an eccentric pop star. You know about me. Do you think that if you just keep repeating eccentric pop star, that will just bypass it and we'll just go, oh, it's just an eccentric pop star. Okay. Let me ask you this, Ada Williams. Am I an eccentric pop star? You are an eccentric pop star. Okay. Thank you. But how long could that

last? Will you be like an old people's home and you're 90 and you just shit yourself and they go, oh, he's shitting himself. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I i'm not old i'm just an eccentric pop star okay what's your home life routine what time do you guys if you get up at 7 or 6 30 in the morning how many kids do you each have i've got one rob's got two so i'll get up 6 30 to be fair i don't i don't i've only been getting up early because there's no live shows. When I've been touring and I come in late, then I'll sleep in till about nine or ten. Thank you.

No, nine or ten. Simmer down, Stokes. Simmer down. He said nine or ten. That's the lion. Thank you. That's the lion. Okay, so you get up with the kids. What does your day look like now that you're in quarantine and you're not on the road um well for us now is the uh eldest goes to school about 10 past eight and then the younger one goes to preschool about nine so we sort of get rid of them and then i can do all my zooms and work so that's so much easier during lockdown it was horrific what was it like where were you guys in lockdown we were were in Los Angeles. How was that?

At least it was sunny. Yeah. It was sunny in lockdown. I don't know. Rob was doing lots of drawing. He was doing lots of coloring in. I did coloring in. I like it.

Soothing. We're both a couple of eccentric guys. Eccentric comedian. Yeah, I stick a crown up my ass and just draw with that. Is that what you do? Eccentric, couldn't we? What did we do? I mean, we panicked for a little bit. I think we, I mean, we worried about toilet paper like everyone else, obviously with Rob shitting proclivity. Yeah, obviously that's a big problem.

Yeah. There was concern. But no, we just panicked. We didn't know what to do. The kids, you know, like your kids sound like they're small age. Yeah, yeah. How old are yours? Are yours preschool and? Five and three. So just start. Mine's three.

We're locked down now because someone at her nursery got COVID. So she's not allowed to leave the house for 14 days. Oh. So. She's properly like, she's locked in, locked in right now. She's locked in, locked in. And she doesn't know why she's locked in. What are you doing with her then?

Because like a three-year-old doesn't understand. No, we're doing a lot of coloring, but she's got to be on the putting up her ass stage, which is a positive. That's a plus. Yeah, so she's doing good with that. We're doing coloring. We put up the tree yesterday,

which was like playing our trump card too early. That was a huge error. That's early, man. You got, how many more days do you have left of this 14-day situation? We've got seven left. Shit, I would have left the tree a couple more days, man. You've got, how many more days do you have left of this 14-day situation? We've got seven left. Shit. I would have left the tree

a couple more days, dude. Yeah, well, you weren't there in the pressure cooker atmosphere. We panicked. It was on. A panic tree. I get it.

A panic tree happened. But we're just doing cutting out and colouring and I made banana bread yesterday, but she walked off within five minutes of it starting, so I was just left

making banana bread on my own, which was... It's a depressing activity, though, isn't it? Making banana bread. No one wants that. Can you imagine if, as an adult, you could do stuff like that? If you weren't just instantly enjoying something, just, like, walking off. This feels like Robbie's about to leave the interview.

That would be... Well, the good thing is, when you do an interview in bed, there's nowhere else to go, is there? I've had enough of this. I mean, you've just been laying there anyway. Just turn over. So how do you, when you're not working, how do you split the sort of parenting then?

Does one of you do more things with the kids or, you know? I don't know the answer to this right now. Okay. So would you say you do all of it, all of the parenting or the majority? No, no, no,

no, no. Rob's when, when Rob is awake, he's a very good father. He, uh, we,

we do the, we like the school pickups together. We do the school activities together. What else, what else do we do together? Golf, take them to golf, take them to football,

take them to ballet. You say take them to football, Rob, are you, are they Port Vale fans? Are you making them... No, no, no. Charlie goes and plays football with his

little football friends. That's what they do. Charlie's also, which is making me so proud, he's so into his golf. He loves it. And yesterday the golf pro sent me a video of him putting. Did you see the putting that he was doing?

He didn't send me the video. No, I saw Keith, but I didn't get this said video. What is it? There was like a 16-foot put, and he put it in, and then he got another ball out and put that one in too. Anyway, really proud of him. So, yeah, there is. Who do you reckon is the most strict out of me and you?

Oh, I think we're kind of on the same page with strictness. I would say maybe you're more strict than me. Is that because I've got a sort of manly demeanor that looks more angry? Yeah, I think you've got a bigger gate, bigger build and gate than I do. I've got a barreled chest. You've got a barreled chest. The barreled chest of the eccentric pop star. Portaburger, if the title's sorted.

I think we're on the same, but we're consistent. We like the manners. We're, you know, like we're consistent with, we say no and they don't do it. We follow through with the punishment. But I would say maybe you're slightly more strict with me, with the kids, with me. That was a Freudian.

strict with me, with the kids, with me. That was a Freudian. I think that I kind of relinquish more control of the strictness when it comes to the surreptitious treats. Oh yeah. You give more treats. I think the kids know to go to you for the treats. But that being said, I don't know when or when not to give the treat because you're in control of treat giving, you see. Yeah, like the treat master. You're the treat master. With Teddy, I think she's got you wrapped around the finger. Teddy has a real thing with sugar and dairy. She has like an issue with it. So she really shouldn't have it. So she knows to go to daddy to get like extra treats or like, was one i discovered rob decided to give them last year diet coke what are your thoughts i was i was pretty upset about the diet coke situation hold on

it was coke zero come on sorry sorry more chemicals my bad so i do you guys give your small little children coke zero i haven't done that, we've not done fizzy. We sort of go Fruit Shoot or Robinsons, but they haven't asked for it yet. Did they ask? I didn't ask for it either. Hold on. How old are your children? Five and three.

Five and three. Okay. So Charlie was at least five, if not four, when you gave him Coke Zero. And how many are they on a day now? Have they got into it? Well, if it was up to daddy, they would have them daily.

They're jonesing for it. Like it's spice and they're in stoke how how do you feel though like because the lifestyle they have is so different to what you guys had growing up do you find it difficult to sort of marriage it up when you sort of think about what how you used to live not that different from Ida's lifestyle growing up. This is going back to the fact that I grew up with an en suite. Are we gonna... Ida's never lived in a house where she hasn't had her own en suite. Oh, wow. Yeah, exactly.

That's good, though. That's aspirational. That's what you want, isn't it? That is living the dream. Come on! Yeah, Rob thinks I've basically grown up in Buckingham Palace to have an en suite. Did you have an indoor toilet when you were! Yeah, Robbie thinks I've basically grown up in Buckingham Palace to have a house on the street. Did you have an indoor toilet when you were growing up, Robbie?

My grandma didn't until 1985. And then she did. Yeah, yeah, they had to go outside. But having said that, Ida was like

poor for Beverly Hills. But in Stoke-on-Trent, she would have been like the queen of Stoke-on-Trent. But in Beverly, it's all relative. It's like getting married to Tony Pulis. It's all relative. She may have had her own en-suite, but she was bereft of a G-Wagon.

Let's just put it that way. I do think about that with our kids. You know, how are we going to raise them so that they're mindful, appreciative, grateful, grounded children? Because we could be totally fucking this up. You know, like we're just, like every parent. I don't know if you guys, I mean,

I don't know how you guys grew up. I'm totally fucking it up. Right? I mean, did you have what you have now growing up? No. No, I didn't. They've got completely different lives. Do you think, like, how do you do this right?

We don't really know, do we? You just sort of find out at the end. I think that's the thing. You never really know until about 33. It's like getting your exam results in 18 years. Yeah. You're, like, slapped with a huge therapy bill and some resentment. You're like, oh, I'm wrong.

Like, do you have these moments as a parent where I go, there are definitely moments where I'm like, oh, yeah oh yeah that's gonna get brought up later like I definitely yeah definitely I've got my daughter a scooter and she was for her birthday and she's had a new scooter going to school and then Lou had got this helmet for it which didn't really fit and it looked ridiculous and all that they kept on slipping off and all her schoolmates were there I was like this feels like it could be everything feels like it could be a horrific memory. And so, you know, that they always remember of doing it wrong. But it's just, you just don't really know really.

But like where you guys seem to be, like in the UK and in LA, where are you sort of based? Do they have a base of the same school or do they move around with you guys for work? Well, we kind of, we started them off in school, kind of both in LA and in London. You know, when we were in London for a year,

they'd be in school there six months. And we kind of did that back and forth thing. And then it became apparent, it was kind of unfair to them because I kept yanking them out of one and sticking them in another. And then we were both busy and there was no way, you know, initially I would try and stay with the kids while Rob would go off. And then it was, we were both working. So eventually we did have to put them in homeschool and we had them come with us. What was that like? I mean,

I think we might've fucked it up. I think, I don't think. Robbie's nodding just for. Rob's nodding. I don't know that we should be the headmasters of our own school. I'm not sure that that should be bestowed upon us. Team A are now a year behind everybody else.

And they really. I don't think as strict as we are with manners i don't think we i think we went kind of more the montessori path with like we want them to have yoga and gratitude in the morning and like it's great that they know how to share and braid leaves you know like i don't think that we exacted the right standards we weren't clear on to be fair i think we should have been doing more homework on what kind of stuff they needed to be doing so i don't think my kids our kids i'll call them our kids um i don't think they got used to like homework and things like that there wasn't like a real so then all of a sudden i got some tutors in to see how they were and they're like unfortunately

your children are like really behind so really so now we've upped it. Now they're back in school. Now they're thriving. See, Ida's in charge of the educational process because genuinely, I don't believe in it. Really? Yeah. She's kind of like the person that cracks the whip and makes sure that they're doing everything and it's all correct. Whereas I left school at 16 with no qualifications whatsoever. And I had a great time at school. I had a wonderful time with my friends and I haven't laughed as much in my life since school, you know, so that was.

More of a social experience for you, wouldn't we? Yeah, that's, that's the function that it served me so i'm kind of like the person behind either as she's cracking the whip going yes you should should you do you have to read jeff do it's fine babe do you remember that there was a moment when because rob and i come from very different academic backgrounds and i remember when rob told me once that he got a D in, did you get a D in English? D in English, yeah.

Yeah, and I remember being like horrified that he got a D in English because I was like a straight A student. And then only recently did I find out that D was his best grade. That was the, when he said he got a D in English, he wasn't embarrassed like I got a D in English. He was going, I got a D in English.

That was the win. That was the win. The thing is that I sort of agree with you in a way with that, Robbie, that like, you know, if as long as you work hard and you're passionate about something, you don't always necessarily need the grades and loads of schooling. But what if your kids wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor i'd be so upset i'd be so so let down i genuinely i genuinely think i would i genuinely be like you have so let me down so any of them showing musical or acting ability yes yes tenny like sings her way through her homework.

She sings through tennis. She's just, like, she's constantly performing and singing and dancing. She said the other day in the car, she was like, Daddy, I think I want to be a singer like you when I grow up. And we were both like, well, listen, you have to work very hard. It's a very tough industry. And, you know, not everybody makes it's a very tough industry and you know not everybody makes it and she went um have you heard my voice what about her kids are they are they are they

artistic are they more observational my daughter is so good at colouring in, but I don't want to brag about it because I don't think there's any money in it. Within, she keeps it within the lines. Within the lines, she's three. That's quite amazing. I don't know. I totally had that as well though when I was growing up, Robbie,

that like my parents weren't into the academic thing at all. And like, obviously I did it, but like there was no like pressure to get a normal job or a serious job. And I think that's quite kind of freeing to feel like that. I did it all off my own butt.

Yeah, I wasn't pressured into it. I was very lucky that, I mean, I think Rob and I both agree. I don't, I really don't care what grades my kids get. I don't care. You know, there's no pressure for them to be any kind of career path

you just want to be happy you want them to feel passionate about it i my hard work came from my own neuroses need to please and i i worked really hard but i think like i just think for the kids i want them to have the option of being able to do whatever they want to do so that they're not limited like if they can't read there's a situation like they're going to be really limited in their career. Like I want them to be able, but for us, I think like if we were to pick, which we thought we were doing with homeschool, our curriculum was very, very liberal. It was like, what did we have? You know, we were, we would like study superheroes and we would,

I wouldn't say it was the grind. Obviously it's different for them because they're in school now and school is a different situation because you have, you know, know these very structured classes but i think we're quite we're quite liberal at home there's we don't pressure our kids to to achieve anything do we babe no we don't but i i think that you'll probably will be way more concerned about the kids than i will be say for example if somebody does get a C, I'll be like, that is amazing. And you'll be like disappointed.

So truthfully. I would probably be disappointed, but I would try not to let them know I was disappointed. Exactly. I don't think any mom's ever succeeded at that. I think for our kids, I think the one thing I really want for them really is just to be able to speak other languages.

That's really important to me because they're young and they can soak it up like sponges right now I think it's so cool when you can speak other languages so that would be the only thing I would kind of like maybe manipulate in their direction to go like hey check out Spanish or Italian maybe maybe manipulate there was times in the house when Teddy was like 18 months old, that all was spoken in my house was French. And after literally like after three days of not being involved in any conversation, I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this has got to start. Oi, oi, oi.

Because Ida speaks several languages. So it's very important to Ida. And I get it. They said the best way to do it is to just speak it's very important to Ida. And I get it. They said the best way to do it is to just speak the other language constantly to your kids. So my mother and I, who speak French, would just speak constant French to Teddy to try and get her to hear French. Have you taken them back to Stoke and showed them around where you grew up?

Not recently. They did come to Port Vale with me last year, but they only came to the ground, really. But I was with Ida and the kids when they were in pushchairs, and we went to the local park, Tunstall Park. And Ida was just sort of like, this is so idyllic. You know, when you said that it was rough, you know, I don't understand. As the words left her mouth

some young man went up to another young man on the tennis court punched him in the face and rode off on his mountain bike and I was like there you go there you go it literally was out of a movie because I was like practically spinning around the fields going this is just so pretty babe I don't Rough and literally just as my eyes cast a glance at the the little basketball tennis Hey, these kids just punch this other kid went up with his shit. I was like, oh Okay Okay, no, but yeah, we you know, we we'd like to spend more time with the kids in stoke

It's just like, you know, the kids have spent a because just like the kids have spent a lot of time in LA, they've spent a lot of time in London, but the grandparents are there. They had a sleepover with their nanny, Jannie, and they spent a weekend there. I kind of want them to understand. That's the Stoke that I want them to see. I want them to be old enough to go, oh.

Didn't daddy do well. Oh, well done, daddy. Where would your kids say they're from, though? So if they met someone on a holiday and said, oh, where are you guys from? Would they say London? Would they say LA? Where would home be?

What do you think, babe? I think they'd probably, at the moment, say that they were from los angeles yeah charlie so it's funny but it gives us charlie still has an english accent and teddy has kind of an american accent at this point so they actually speak differently the two of them and how do you feel about hearing them speak in american accent and hearing them speaking i think that's question based to me really because um you know the question is is is basically going do you hate that robbie that's what the question is

i tried to reframe it as i was saying it but you read through me like yeah the answer the answer is yes i do but i try not to look disappointed. No, no, here's the thing. Before you have the kids, you would want them and expect them to have the same accent as you. I understand the question. And then when Teddy doesn't, it's my daughter and I love her. So her accent is her accent and it's beautiful. And that's the truth.

Are you going to have any more or are you stopping at four kids, do you think? I think four is good. I think we're good now. I think we're... Do you know, you don't know how relieved I am. But like at the fourth, I went, that's enough now. Like it was, oh, really? Oh, really? Like, it's getting crazy, boo.

And like, you know, because like after the first i was just like we're done right i get the snip right we're done we the thing that you wanted we got it right so we can get she was like and it was quite emotional actually because you know you obviously wanted more and then there was like arguments about whether we were going to have any more and then there was like this one time we were in a car and there was a lady pushing a push chair across the zebra crossing. And in my head, I thought if we don't have any more, every time I deceased that push chair, it's going to break a heart.

So we, I relented and was like, okay, let's, let's, let's have more. Because for a guy, for the first couple of years when well for this guy let's just say when teddy arrived the the birth was just like ecstasy uh free ecstasy the universe has given me it was incredible and then when we took the baby home it just poos and shits and cries and you know and like and like it feels like a stranger has arrived to like ruin the party and then and then and then eventually she's old enough to go daddy and as soon as she does that oh my god I'm just like it was kind of instant like okay let's have as many of these as we can. Yeah, and then sort of we got to three, and by the time we got to three, I was like totally in.

I was like, more, please, more, please, please. But then when we got to the fourth one and you turned to me and you were just like, that is enough. I was like, oh, okay. Because we have, at one point, and that is enough. I was like, Oh, okay. Because we have, we've had, we have, we've at one point we had 10 dogs and 10 dogs. And I was just like, I see where this is going. I see where this is going. It's like when we were like in the beginning of our relationship,

it was kind of like, Oh, I'm having an emotion. Let's buy a dog. You know? And it's like i thought that oh we're gonna do that with children aren't we we're gonna have an emotion and then have another child but like when you turned to me and said that's enough i was just like yeah okay cool we're done what's the christmas like in the williams household you describe christmas big i'm i'm obsessed with christmas i have like a real this is the reason this is the reason i'm not pitching my album but i might as well seen as we're on you know this is the reason that's what that was so i was segwaying into i thought i was quite subtle about it yeah

no you you did a good job okay so christmas when i was growing up was great and then sometimes really disappointing when i didn't get what I wanted you know like a child and then I sort of went into the drug years and then like Christmas was just like instead of two grams of cocaine I'll buy six and then all of that was stripped away from me because of the nearly death and then I had to stop and then you sort of like bereft of all your medicines so you're just left with a Christmas going, this is shit. Everything about Christmas is telling me that you should be happy in the family. And I feel opposite of that.

And then I was nonplussed about Christmas. Then Ida arrived into my life and she is just the spirit of Christmas. When she got her feet under the table, as I like to say. And it was just like, oh, this is cemented. I'm in. I came home one day and honestly, I think the house was that illuminated. It could be seen by the space station. And then from then on in, she has been the most incredible memory maker. And it is now both of ours most favorite time of the year.

I am a Christmas convert. And every Boxing Day without fail, we turn to each other and go, that was the best Christmas ever. ever and now that the children are here it's even it's even more special because we can do you know the grown-up lying to them about all the you know all the santa stuff and the elf on a shelf which is sort of like has a a dual thing to it because i don't know about you but when i found out santa wasn't real i was very very confused and very very depressed does anybody did anybody else i don't remember finding out that he wasn't real i don't remember it being a moment in my life i don't know why it just kind of happened for me i don't know about you rob i think it was my mum coming downstairs with a present saying get out of the way i've got to

put these out and you're still awake and i want to go to bed. So it's quite a short, sharp shock. Wow. Well, what about, what about you, Ali? Oh my God. I was devastated. I was fucking devastated. You know, it's like those things where you hear the rumors at school, like those kids that are like, you heard, there's no such thing as Santa and you're like, shut up. There is. Really like, you know, like, like little rumors swirling around your head, but you're like, no,

there is a Santa. And like, what know, like little rumors swirling around your head, but you're like, no, there is a Santa. And like what happened for us was that we went away, we were going away for Christmas one year. And so we opened our Christmas presents before we went away because we weren't going to bring them with us. And then when I got back from said holiday, I was like, I can't wait to see what Santa left me. Fucking Santa left me fucking nothing.

It was my parents and they forgot to leave something. And that was how I figured it out. And I just remember because I've always been so obsessed with Christmas. It was like my world crumbled. It was like, it was like the deity that I believed in was now gone. And I was really empty feeling. And I have to say it's so amazing having kids and getting to relive that fantasy with them and create

that magic for them, knowing how much it and watching them and seeing how much it means to them. You know, I, it's like I see with Teddy, she's eight and I think, Oh my God, I think we have maybe like one more year of,

you know, of, of this magic. And I, that's why I think I go so OTT with the elves. I get into it and I make the ginger, but I really want to like, you know,

it's like as a kid, there's all that magic. It's like, that's like all the magic you get in life. It's like that, that ball just dwindles. Cause then there's like obligation and frustration and jobs and pressures. And you're like using, you're like, you're like your, your, your, your quantity of magic that you have to like sprinkle in your life to plug the holes. And it's like, I just want them to have like, like this magic sense inside for Christmas that stays with them. And I, you know, I just think I feel so lucky

that I love Christmas and that. Are you worried about them finding out Santa isn't real? How are you going to? Yes. I'm like, I'm to the point where I feel like giving interviews to all the children around them going, do you believe in Santa? What would you say to my Teddy if you heard otherwise?

Like, honestly, I'm that person that wants to, like, helicopter every child around, like, only those that believe are allowed to be around my children. Just another Christmas memory. We used to live on a gated community in Los Angeles where there was probably a hundred other houses. And we actually walked around the community one christmas looking to see who'd beaten us genuinely like it was a competition and you can read and i'm

telling you you'll remember which house it is oh yeah yeah it was the house down on the bottom on the right you go right and then you go left and you go, those bastards. Yeah. What did they do? I think we came in at number three, babe. I don't even think we got number two. No, we got,

we got number two, but it's a name drop with sort of like, um, okay. So slash lived right across the road from us. And, and we just, we completely battered slash. But slash isn'tash at Christmas. Right?

But Slash isn't bothered about Christmas. Slash is, of course, bothered about Halloween. Of course. Yeah. And his Christmas is Halloween, and he went massive at Halloween. We looked like proper losers on Halloween. We were trash, man. We had, like, a whole weekend.

Are you willing to concede Halloween for a big Christmas win? Let me just run you through the list of people we beat at Christmas. Okay, Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. Oh, wow. He did well. Brian did good. Brian did very well. He had all those little candy canes in the front.

We still beat him. We still beat him. Tom Jones. Charlie Sheen. K still beat him. Okay. Tom Jones. Yeah. We kicked his ass. Charlie Sheen. Kicked his ass too. Paris Hilton. Wow.

Yeah. Shaquille O'Neal. Beat him at Christmas. You didn't beat Shaq. No way. Beat Shaq. Yeah. Beat Shaq at Christmas. And we beat Christina Aguilera.

So. Oh, wow. Well, congratulations. So who was, do know the person do you know who the person was that that beat you or was that a nameless person I think it was a nameless person one day Paddy McGuinness came over and I took him around the house he's right and I he had his camera out and it and I just made up names of people that lived there, right? For about, honestly, honestly, for about half an hour. And I said, as soon as Bill Clinton was out of office,

that was the house that he stayed at. This was originally Dean Martin's house, right? And all of these houses that I was pointing out, like Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, these houses were built in 1999. And like at the end of it, and I went, and I made all of that up. He was propagated. He was propagated. We've got one last question we always like to ask our guests, which is normally we ask them when they're on here on their own, not with the other half. But the question is, is there something that

your partner does parenting wise that annoys you and frustrates you that you've never said because it may cause an argument, but if they were to listen to the podcast and they could pick up, is there a little thing that just sort of frustrates you a little bit? You know what's good is if we end with this, that Rob and I can actually get into a domestic after the podcast ends. Yeah, or we can just keep recording it.

Feel free to leave it running. Leave it running. I'm trying to think about, I mean mean i would say the coke zero thing the coke zero because i'm fully against it is one of the bigger thorns i would say it's there aren't many thorns i'm going to say diet coke coke zero was that the first time that i'd had fizzy drinks yes yes and they hadn't asked for it they hadn't asked for it and was you consulted no i was. It was given, I came back to the table and all of a sudden my kids were freebasing Coke Zero. And they hadn't asked for it and you weren't consulted.

No, no, the drug dealer gave them their first line for free. So now, like chirping birds all the time. They don't even want regular Coke. They want Coke Zero. Like I can't even get them off the Coke Zero to regular Coke. We're deep in the game. We're deep in. Why did you give it to them, Robbie?

Well, I was just having one myself, and I was like, oh, go on. Just a little bit. You know, I didn't, it wasn't like I gave them their own cup of it. I was just like, oh, let them have a sip of this, see what they think. Oh, okay. And what they thought was, this is the best thing ever. Then you got them some. You poured it in their thing.

Yeah, yeah. But here's the thing. I don't want to be, like, known as, like, Pablo Escobar of Coke Zero, because that wouldn't be true either. It's like they have maybe a glass of it at the weekend once a week. And the same question to you robbie is there anything that frustrates you the way um i had a parents but um from a man that's laying in bed at midday i don't know if you've got much to stand on no here's here's the thing it's like

with our relationship because we're so therapized uh i just been in therapy out the womb straight straight to a white office how did you feel about the vaginal canal uh and you know so and i've had to do loads of tons of work on myself too so if absolutely anything crops up it's talked about dissected and sorted out straight away in our relationship so there's there's no secret oh i wish she'd do this yeah uh because it's talked about uh the only thing that is sort of like mildly concerning for me but also at the same time i'm sort of like it's best left in her capable hands it's just the educational process because i know i am going to be and i am more laissez-faire about results i you know like the other day teddy got 10 out of 10 she gets 10 out of 10 for stuff i don't know what to do with that because like i'm like you know if she got

two out of 10 i'd be like yes she's an x-man do you know what if she got two out of 10, I'd be like, yes, she's an X-Man. Do you know what I mean? She's going to be shit at this, but whatever she's good at, she's going to be incredible. You know, so like when she comes home with 10 out of 10, of course, I'm incredibly proud. But it is going to be the case when she or they decide that they want to be a doctor. I'm not going to know what to do with that. I'm genuinely, genuinely, I know we joked about it at the beginning, but like where other households will only want their children to be like doctors or lawyers or whatever,

this household and me, I'd be upset if they didn't enter the entertainment industry in some sort of capacity. I love that they will disappoint you with a profession, with a medical or a law profession. I had such high hopes for you. At the end of the day, I don't think any of them are going to be in any kind of regular job job because because of the eccentric pop star who's their father I just think our kids are going to be creative little souls now I don't

think they're all going to be singers or actresses but I think they'll I think they're Rob will maybe notice or not notice I will be there to wake them up it'll be fine we'll get there in the end um but yeah do you guys have hopes of like what your kids are going to be or do you not care no I wouldn't want to put the pressure on I would never say to them I would do you know what I would hate for her to be a comic because I just find it too stressful going through the same thing I'd find wouldn't you Rob to be honest and that sounds a bit tween a bit cliche like I used to hate going to school but she goes into school really happy and she comes out really happy and i've you know i'm i don't really care what she's coming out with or how good her handwriting is and i do find some parents a

bit like oh i want their handwriting to be i don't really no one's written anything down for years have they it's just all typed so i'm really as long as they're you know as long as they work hard and they're happy i know that's i don't really care what they end up doing you know i'm really not bothered where some people are they do want them to uh be a lawyer or something like that but i'm just i just don't really care then i feel like i just genuinely don't care what they do which i think makes me feel like it's quite bad but i don't know it's good i mean i'm kind of like you know i'm the same way kind of like robin says oh i want them to be in the entertainment industry i'm'm kind of like, I don't want them to be a lawyer or doctor. You know, I don't want them to be anything

other than what they want to be. But I just think, oh God, if she was an actress, especially my daughter's like, I'd be so upset because it's so much, it's so mean. It's so much rejection. It's so hard. Oh God, if I could save them from that, I would. But if she, if any of my children wanted to,

I would support it. But oh, there would be a part of me that would go, oh, I'm so sorry I have to go through this yes that's how I feel about comedy when she said I'm going to the Edinburgh Festival I think oh you're gonna have a shit month we all have a shit month out there I mean Tiger Woods seems happy right Robbie but your I heard your single your Christmas single on Magic FM, which I think is the hallmark of a classic already, if it's been banged out on Magic. Is there anything you want to say about it? What prompted you to write it?

I know you referenced coronavirus and stuff like that. Was you already planning on doing that song? No, I wasn't planning on doing that. And then I was made to by my wife. Ah. Yeah, it was August. And there's a song on the album called bad sharon and me and tyson fury sing on it right yeah and like there's there's rod stewart on there brian adams on there

uh jamie cullen my dad and a few other people and uh the thing that got people's attention was this song you know it was the tyson fury song we've got the most streams the most watches on youtube and i was just like oh well if i put out the christmas album this year i'll just release that and uh and then my wife told me otherwise because we were in we were in italy and she was like you're going to put out the christmas album i said of course she said what are you going to do like, you're going to put out the Christmas album. I said, of course she said, what are you going to do? I said, I'm going to put out a bad Sharon. She said, no, you're not.

And I went, yeah, I am. And like, there's a Luke that I did gives me where it's like, I'm not going to win this argument. I'll have to relent. She actually wrote part of the lyric and gave me the song title and went,

you know, shoe going right now. So, um, you're, shoo, go and write that. So, um... Oh, wow. You're missing a trick if you don't write about right now and what's happening on the planet. And I was just like, oh, God, okay, let me go do it.

So I did. Well, I just felt like, as the protector of Christmas and the Christmas spirit, I felt like Christmas is gonna take a fucking beating this year... Yeah. ...if we don't have something to stand behind, because I just thought everyone's feeling sad. We're all separated from our loved ones.

This has been a weird, shitty fucking year for all of us. And like, how do we, how do we, how do we overcome this like horrible thing that's happening and still feel like this festive spirit and this joy in our hearts? Because we need that. We really need something to hold onto that feels uplifting. And like, I kind of thought it was that moment in August where it was like, are we going to lock down for Christmas?

Do you think they'll let households merge? You know what I just like, I'm 9,000 miles away from my mom and I can't hug her or touch her, you know? So for me, and she's fighting cancer, it's like, for me, this is like a big issue. And I'm thinking, how do I, for someone who loves Christmas, how do I still feel that joy? And I was like, you know what, no matter what's going on in the world with this pandemic and these restrictions and how far we are from our loved ones, like you can't stop Christmas. Like whatever it is we've got, it gets to happen no matter what. And I just felt like there was this real moment to be

positive about things and to let people feel together, even if they're apart. And Rob kind of looked at it. I think they had like the most impassioned Christmas plea. He's like, all right, then. Yeah, you can't say that. It's like the end of Miracle on 34th Street, that kind of thing. But it was, you know, I think it's been a weird, I mean, it's not, I think it's been, it's been a weird, tough year. We're all suffering on different levels, you know, and it was been a weird i mean it's not i think it's been it's been a weird tough year it's we're all suffering on different levels you know and it was just like fuck we gotta we gotta open the door for santa and some mistletoe and reindeers and joy because because otherwise

you know i don't know i don't know how we end this year without we gotta have some hope it's gotta be some sort of christmas miracle vibe will you be listening to the song on Christmas Day as you eat, as a family? I'm a fully-blown narcissist, so I'll have Nebworth on on the television, and I will have my own album on in the background as we eat. Of course, that's what's going to happen. I have to say, the beautiful thing about Rob making a Christmas album that's amazing

is we do actually play it all Christmas. I mean, we play other songs too, but we do really enjoy listening to the album for Christmas. Yeah. I'd love to see your like Spotify rats, Robert. It's just your own album. Yeah. Most listened to artists. Oh, it's Robbie Williams again. Your song was top of my Spotify rap, Rob. It was the tiger that came to tea song. I've listened to that.

I reckon. Kids ruin your algorithms. I rapped, Rob. It was the Tiger that came to tea song. I've listened to that, I reckon. Oh, Tiger. Oh, Tiger's Times. Yeah. Kids ruin your algorithms. It's all over the place. That is now my most listened to song. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, guys. It's been brilliant. Thanks for doing it. Well, thanks for having us. Do you mind, guys? I'm really tired, so... You have another hour Rob get your head down

little power nap gonna turn over for a little bit love you baby I love you Boozy I love you so much I miss you I was speaking to Rob

see you later guys thank you so much thank you so much cheers bye bye bye Ida and Robbie Williams there Ida Williams Ida Williams and Robbie Williams how would you say it Ida Williams Robbie Williams there. Oh my God.

Ida Williams and Robbie Williams. How would you say it? Ida Williams plus one, I'd call them. Yeah. But, plus I'm bloke in the bed. That was funny.

Robbie Williams is in bed. When was the last time you got up at midday, Rob? Oh, I think, I think probably, probably due to some illness. It wouldn't have just been, you know,

when I'm on tour and I'm in hotel rooms, I will lay in bed all day if I can get away with it. Because I will try, but I'll always, obviously I'm tight enough that I need to go down for breakfast to get my money's worth. But also I will always, now naturally my body clock is, I'm worried it's ruined forever. You know, like when, I don't know,

it's just something now I've ruined, my body clock, because I'm now never going to sleep beyond 8 30 however hard i try well i now go to bed about half 10 which is too early considering what my job should be you're not going to believe this i was in bed last night at 9 p.m right so that this is not good for us because we've got to go back on tour just the second our shot starts at nine. So I'm now no good at getting up early and no good at staying up late. No, no.

Do you know what happened last night? Yeah. Last night, we tried to watch a Poirot episode. How old are you? A hundred. But like, it was basically we put up the tree

and I was like, I want to watch something Christmassy. Fair enough. Yeah. Let's watch a Poirot. But half up the tree and i was like i want to watch something christmassy fair enough yeah let's watch a poirot but half an hour in i was like i'm gonna have to finish this off tomorrow it's too much i can't get through it all um that was great though i loved it they're such a lovely couple that you know there's a brilliant couple i've got with ida on eight or ten cats and i've done raw variety performance with robbie i've told you robbie williams story but when i started the stage of it this is when i was quite new it's the first time i've done raw variety and i Robbie. I've told you the Robbie Williams story, but when I was on the stage with him, this is when I was quite new.

It was the first time I'd done raw variety and I died on my ass because it's quite a tough gig sometimes. Palace of Apollo, and I'm stood there, side of the stage, watching Lady Gaga sing and Robbie Williams is stood next to me

and he goes, are you a spender or a saver? I'm like, what? Are you a spender or a saver? And I was like, I don't know, really. Like, what about your wife? Is she the spender or is she the saver? It's always one or the other. And I was like, I reckon she's more of a saver and I'm more of a spender or a saver? And I was like, I don't know, really. Like, what about your wife? Is she the spender or is she the saver? It's always one or the other.

And I was like, I reckon she's more of a saver. I'm more of a spender. She went, you would see, I'm the saver. My wife, she's the spender. And I felt like saying, I think we have very different ideas of a spender. And also, I think he's the sexiest man I've ever been near. Yeah. He just oozes sexiness.

You know, someone should say, you know, Alan Carr is, I think one of the sexiest, I mean, sorry, funny. Alan Carr's just funnier. When Alan Carr walks into a room, even if you're on stage or like off stage,

like just in the green room at a gig, he walks in and he bursts in. It's like a scene from a sitcom. He's just hilarious. He should stop bursting in as well. If the door's locked, the door's locked, Alan.

Yeah, exactly. But he just, he just, he's everything he he does he's just funny. And that's the same with Rob Williams, he's sexy. He just can't help it. And just laying there with his topless. Right, he laid there with that whole interview topless and managed to pull it off.

If I was laying topless in my bed, someone would ring the police. You can't do that on Zoom. I'm just an eccentric guy. He didn't just do that for our show. He did that. He's on Zoe Balltopless, mate. He's on proper shows. He's on Zoe Balltopless.

Now that is a Daily Mail headline. That was great. I hope you enjoyed it, guys. Yeah. We won't wrap it on because, let's be honest, the headline has left. The headliners have left. You're left with us. And also, hello to anyone that saw the headlines

in the uh newspaper and come to this episode from that yeah do check out the other episodes if you've got this far maybe you like the podcast oh it's an absolute banger you should really stay you should you wait till we start getting onto cow tongue chat just you know on our own time yeah exactly podcast if anything if I'm going to say it, the guests this week were holding us back slightly, Rob. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, we tried our best. Right, see you next time.

Cheers, bye.