Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP13: Joe Swash

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP13: Joe SwashJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant actor and presenter, Joe Swash. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Josh Middicombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.

Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, and you are listening to Lockdown Parenting here with... There you go. Now, Rob, you might have picked up on an accent. Yeah, was that Basildon? That is an Icelandic toddler doing our intro. An Icelandic

toddler? Oh, you sound in French. So, the mum is called Victoria and the daughter is two. She is called Julia. She recently started saying, oh my God, quite dramatically. Which is funny given we speak Icelandic at home.

I've really enjoyed the podcast it's helped hearing how other parents are doing during this time although I know uh we may have it a bit better in Iceland preschool is open which helps since being pregnant and tired a lot with a toddler uh so that is Victoria and Julia Blaya Victoria's surname Rob I'd like you to have a guess from her email address from what I can tell so Victoria V-I-K-T-O-R-I-A yeah her surname is spelt H-R-O-B-J-A-R-T-S-D-O-T-T-I-R s d o t t i r so i know at the end is that's like daughter in icelandic because scandinavian icelandic names they have the they have son at the end or dieta or something like that at the end so that's like the daughter of whatever the probjarts dieta yeah so that'll be her surname is her dad's full name with dieta at the end i think ah there we go i can't yeah

it's so mental isn't it it's not which is different to what i'm used to that's culture is it basically yeah but i'm learning welcome welcome from iceland uh victoria and julia yes i love iceland i have you been yes it's incredible i went to reykjavik for like a few days and we went to the uh thermal baths like lagoon thing which was amazing the best part of the whole trip was behind us on these sunbed things were like it was indoors because it was the winter so it was like warm indoors and the water was warm but these this couple were having an argument you know you can it stunk of the end of the relationship they're about 25 so it was like you know that relationship you have in your mid-20s which is going nowhere it's a bit of fun

but you both know and they were arguing so much and we just laid there for 40 minutes listening to them bicker and she was like i think what's been on your phone and all that it was like it was like a live version of taoi the reykjavik special right yeah i love i love ice and it's great it's really really cool country i'd love to go. Do you see the Northern Lights? Yes. I don't know if I didn't see them on a great day, but it's not really worth it, the Northern Lights. It's just a green cloud and it's not as good as the Google search

because your eyes aren't as good as cameras. Of course, of course. The old cameras, the lens on a camera is better than the lens of your eye. So if you Google the Northern Lights, you are only going to be disappointed because it can never be as good. And the church, we walked up to the church, the main church, which is incredible, in a snowstorm. And it's the only time I've thought about being religious

because I was so cold and sad and it was so warm and powerful. And I was like, oh, take me, Lord. And then I was like i said a lot of bollocks in it it's quite a carry-on style approach to religion oh take me lord there he is everywhere watching me stop it get out of here i know you're omnipresent give a girl a break so yeah yes josh presents that's what it's here for so george should i just fill in that uh i found a bag of presents that my wife hasn't sent to her cousin since christmas 2018 yes and she's she's she's maintaining she's going to send them and you've

challenged her that every week she doesn't send them, you'll open another present. Yeah. So I got a text from a cousin, her cousin David, who said he was looking forward. So should I open his present first? I think David, he's the one who's got involved. How old is David? They're properly wrapped as well, Rob. So it's got a ribbon on it.

And she's done that curling thing on the ribbon. Oh, she really cares until it comes to actually sending it to people. Until it actually comes to sending them. David is probably three or four years my senior, I'd say. So he's probably 40. Well, she bought 40-year-old David. What does David like? What's his kind of vibe?

He's into football. He's a Nottingham Forest fan. And he's into cricket. He has got... A stereotypical 40-year-old bloke from Nottingham, you'd say. Quite a normal guy. He's got a mini karaoke microphone, Rob. Oh!

What's that entail? I mean, that is not a present anyone wants, is it? Not a 40-year-old man from Nottingham. A mini karaoke microphone. So how does that work? Do you want me to send you a photo? Yeah, because surely... Because I'm not going to lie to you.

However small you think it is, it really is mini so but where are the words it's not karaoke unless there's words written on it use smartphone laptop or desktop download the app oh and then and so you download the app i imagine you connect it to bluetooth and then you read it off your phone that's half a present he's got a biophone that is mini mini. That is tiny. Also, it's so old, it's obviously got an audio input that you'd put into a phone that has the classic headphone jack. Of course.

But now, in 2018, that was fine. But in 2021... Technology has moved on since the present was wrapped. It's so small. It's tiny. Yeah, so I imagine you'd plug it into your phone, but you can't.

By the way, Rose has no idea on any of these presents anymore she was like i've got no idea what's in there that's how long ago it is oh my god so it's so it's so sing record and share send recordings to friends no one has ever done that yeah only if you've got a phone from the mid-noughties because it's the headphone jack's gone now nearly in it and it's? And it's all Bluetooth these days. So it's actually been in your basement so long the technology has become obsolete.

Exactly. Mini, people always think mini's good because it's small and compact and portable, but sure, karaoke's not a mini vibe. Karaoke's big. You can't whip that out. You're not just sat on your phone at a bus stop and you think, I should just record a version of I Will Survive. It looks like a tiny microphone a wacky YouTuber would use

to interview someone in the street. Look at this. I'm going to take a photo with it. How small is it? You hold it. You've got it out. Oh, my God. The last pictures you sent me is that bloke's ball sack.

It's like someone crying for help, our WhatsApp exchanges. By the way, if you haven't listened to the last episode, sounds worse than it is yeah we'll listen to the last one but what i love about it was 9 a.m they found that ball sack and oh my god it's so many every time i look at it it's got smaller you've done it i like you know new glasses though josh oh cheers man you're looking good josh as well you're looking fresh well i don't feel it that's my own haircut that I did, though. Yeah, it's not bad, you know. It looks good. Better than mine. My hair at the moment is

an absolute disgrace. But there you go. There's the mini microphone. Well, that was a fun feature. Are you going to do another one next week? I'll do another one next week. Let's string this out. Yeah, defo. How have you been, though, Josh? Good week? Yeah, alright. Yeah. I'm just trying to think whether there's been any real developments. World Book Day? World Book Day. day when was that have we missed that oh my

god no well let's be honest as the as the time of recording world book day is coming up but at the time of broadcast it was yesterday oh yes okay but i suppose your children are at home so world book day doesn't really make any difference they're not going to dress up as anything no they might dress up but not probably normally it's a big day at school, isn't it, World Book Day? Yeah, it's a big day at nursery. That's when people go a bit too far and you can slag everyone off. Yeah. So what's your plan?

What did you do yesterday? Well, we asked. She's doing Paddington for the second year in a row. Oh, come on, mate. She's got to push the boundaries. You don't want to show off. You've got to put effort in. Well, yeah, but it's difficult, isn't it?

It's difficult. It's like Oasis, isn't it, with those later albums? You're like, you're going to need to change well yeah but it's difficult isn't it it's difficult it's like oasis isn't it with those later albums you're like you're gonna need to change this up mate i know it's a success first time around paddington's a legend you've got to give people what they want as well as change it up you know what i mean play the hits these are the problems could you do paddington 2 and give her some props like hair clippers yeah i was trying to work out what you meant because he he cuts the hair bad, doesn't he, in the second one? Yeah, he does cut the hair bad. Yeah.

Yeah, you could. You could put her in the prison outfit that he has to wear in Paddington 2. That would be great. But, yeah, she just wanted to do Paddington again, which obviously we've had to rebuy the outfit, but we'll see how it goes. Yeah, I don't know what – I imagine Lou sorted something out, to be honest. Lou is much more in charge of the academia than I am. Would they make you do World Book Day on a zoom no not not properly but i think they've

said if you want to dress up you can or i think you have one thing i don't think they're saying fancy dress i think they're saying like one thing from a book because it does put pressure on people that like can't really fall to or i haven't got the access to all the stuff or whatever yeah i think it's like harry potter have a wand or a broomstick stuff like that i think that's what they're doing um but yes we were playing a game where you get pictures of stuff and it's such a lion and it's like bingo you put them all face down and it's look for lions so you have to and it's highlighted the letter so you and then you put the line on a look or an l right anyway so i one of them and it was a picture of like a skeleton frame,

like just a chest of a skeleton. So I was picking them all out, and I was like, buh, for bow. And then I went, skuh, for skeleton. Lou was like, it's fucking x-ray, and skuh isn't even a letter. Are you still struggling with phonics then, Rob? Yeah, to be honest,

I'm sort of letting lou do the teaching to read stuff yeah i'll read with her obviously i'll read to her but not as much as lou does and i'm not very good at i'm not very good at it and i don't want to make my mistakes i'm just i think i'm dyslexic i think something i've not had a proper test but i was told at school so i'm a bit worried i don't one i'm not confident in doing it and and two I'm very aware I don't want to give her bad habits yeah so and lose much better at doing it properly obviously if she was a teacher and she's she could she's better at reading and writing than me but I yeah so I'm I've not really done that much you don't want that thinking scuffer skeleton do you exactly and I

wasn't even doing that to be silly or funny I don't really know it and I get it wrong so but if it was just me there obviously I'd have to do it. But sometimes I think stick to your strengths. Stick to your strengths. Yeah. Is Moralo, send me in. Does she want to read?

Off you go Lou. Do you know what I mean? It's a partnership. But that one thing I've noticed, so when I was away in that flat for a couple of weeks. Oh yeah. How did that work out in the end? Coming back?

When I was in the flat, I was getting loads more sleep. One night I got like, I got nine hours of sleep, three nights in a row. And then on the fourth night, I didn't go to sleep that night because I had too much sleep. Oh my word. I was just awake all night, but I felt fine. What did you do when you were awake all night?

Oh, when you were... Yeah, so you remember Peter Sutcliffegate, obviously, on Christmas Eve for me. Well, what I should have done is, I should have got up and worked or got up and watched something, but I just laid there watching telly or listening i was listening to like calming podcasts and like b and c list podcasts to try and get me to sleep yeah but it just wasn't happening i was just alert i wasn't even like getting frustrated i was like you were just awake i thought i saw louis three

go back up the charts yeah i just burning through it i really the algorithms let's have a meeting at apple what's going on with the album one guy has listened to a 3 000 podcast um but no but what i was saying was when i was away there i was having lots of sleep so i was like you know what parenting is just a mindset thing you've just got to not worry too much don't get too stressed and i'm gonna go back this clear head now and then i did it immediately like the first time they woke me up in the morning at like half five i was like what the fuck is this instantly correct crash tiredness is the killer more so than anything else and yeah and it was so funny i was like i've actually i think i found out a new way to live be more zen and i'm tired help me i can't have this mindset tired i think that's

the thing is when you wake up in the night i find find that if you do something, it really does help. If I just lie there, counting the time down, that is the absolute worst. You just have to tap out and accept it and just go away. And if you watch telly downstairs for half an hour, you go to sleep straight away. Just when you're in the bed, tossing and turning. Yeah, yeah. I had to buy a pillow as well when I was over there. You had to buy a pillow? I had to click and collected a pillow from Marks and Sparks.

Because the pillow wasn't good enough. Rock hard. Rock hard, mate. I'm not a hard pillow man. I have to buy a pillow? I had to click and collected a pillow from Marks and Sparks. Because the pillow wasn't good enough. Rock hard. Rock hard, mate. I'm not a hard pillow man. I have to have a special pillow. Of course you do. For the old stiff neck. You'll get there one day.

One day. If you don't change your laptop. I keep doing all this bloody laptop work. I'll be there with you, mate. Yes, what do I want? I want something, Josh. Do you want some emails? Yes, let's do it.

It's the lockdown parent in mailbag. But it's actually emails and there's no bag. Okay, should I give you three titles? Yep. Wheelie Bingate, try... Oh, let's do this. Try Four Weekly Collections. Been listening to your brilliant podcast

since becoming a mum with the birth of our son, Jack. This is from Rachel. It had me laughing out loud in the middle of the night whilst feeding with headphones in and on many a countryside walk carrying the little one whilst he napped. This was the only way

I could get any nap time for the first few months. We had to do that around parks. I'm pretty sure the neighbours thought I'd gone mad laughing away at myself walking down the lanes but as a new mum

I just didn't care. I'd always felt sorry for you parents in cities without access to a lot of free space in lockdown. In North Wales we're lucky with mountains and the beach is close but thus making multiple lockdowns that much more bearable my sympathies to your plight however waned significantly after listening to series

two episode eight wheelie bin gate when i learned that you had weekly black bin collections now and in places that have fortnightly collections, that not only they distributed larger bins, but allowed Rob to have an extra seasonal bin. No, I bought that bin. Don't get it twisted. But yeah, we do get, as a fortnightly one, where you switch and swap. Wow. I'd like you all to take a moment

to share the total inconvenience and despair that we have monthly bin collections. Monthly? To be fair, North Wales is an absolute arsehole to get to. Yeah, but it's not the same people as our bins, Rob. Yeah, I doubt the bin men start in South East London. That's right. If you miss that Thursday once a month, it's another month.

A month? Where do you put it all? A month of stamping into the rotting refuge of the previous month to compact the very small black bin bag. This happened to us on one occasion. We thought we'd give it a lovely Conway councillor call to see if they could help. They kindly informed us we could take the rubbish out of the bin and load it into our car and deliver it personally to the local tip.

What? Oh, my God. What a day that is. What? Imagine if you missed it. Taking your bin stuff out of the bin to put into your car. Imagine missing the collection day if it's once a month. Oh, my God.

Two months of recycling. I'd have to get a skip. Yeah, the amount of cardboard boxes we do in a week. It's stuff like that. You just think, sod it. I'm not recycling. I'm going to stick it all in a black bin.

But then your black bin's monthly as well, Rob. Yeah, but at least it's in a proper black bin rather than just a rotten corpse of cardboard just getting wet and maggots in it. Is that food bins once a month as well well let me carry on they kindly informed us we could take the rubbish carefully emptying any bags to ensure items were deposited into the correct tip skips they advised us they had a tap on site to wash up afterwards needless to say we did not take them up on their kind off and continued our weekly bin

trampling routine for the next month so they didn't go to the tip in the end. Would you have gone to the tip? I'd move house. I couldn't do that. You know, once a month, there's no way to live. Once a month? It's basically just like you just live next to rubbish. How do you remember as well? Do you know, like, every Wednesday, Tuesday evening,

I think, oh, Jesus, I've got to do the cardboard. Yeah. Well, so what happens at Christmas? Because normally it's either a few days late or they go, right, we're not bothering, we'll see you next week, right? That's sort of the vibe. North Wales is quite remote, though. Maybe it's because it's so remote.

Yeah. They might have land where they can just be, you know, like when you live proper in the countryside, you sort of have just like a building full of shit. Isn't that what happens in the countryside? Yeah, and a yard. There's like a yard with like bits in it. Yes.

And I can say this because I'm from the countryside. Yeah, just like, you know, a dishwasher or a mangle. Stuff like that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the two very different ends of the technological spectrum next to each other. Yeah, exactly, and the mangle's still there from the time you first got the first dishwasher.

Have you ever used a mangle? No, I'm not even sure what one is really. It's just metal, isn't it? I just wanted to tell you, this is from Wendy Hart. I just wanted to tell you, my mum thought that she had her wheelie bin nicked. Yeah. We looked up and down the road searching for it

and then rang our local council and they told us that sadly, the wheelie bin had fallen into the lorry. Sneaky bastards. Surely that has got to be an instant fess up. Yeah, you'd have to tell someone. They've binned a bin. They've binned a bin.

I've always wondered how you throw away a bin. You can't put a bin in the bin, can you? You can. You just have to find a bigger bin for the bin. You've just got to find a bigger bin. Because in the wheelie bin, it's the biggest bin. But then if you want to put that in the bin, you put it in one of them, like, big four-wheel cart ones.

You know, they have, like, commercial. And then where do you bin that bin? Oh, yeah. Do you ever bin that? A skip. Yeah, but then how do you get rid of a skip? Well, you can't break a skip, can you? You've got to start melting it down.

Yeah. I think that draws close to the whole wheelie bin thing, really, doesn't it? Yeah, I think we've done enough wheelie bin stuff, haven't we? Really, unless something mega comes up. Yeah. Well, we'll see in years to come. It'll crop up again, I'm sure. Rob.

Yes? Who have we got on today? Oh, we've got... Oh, I tell you what, before we do that, do you want some pom-pom jar updates? Yes, please. This is from Detter. on Instagram, and they've got an eight-year-old, and they're a big fan of the pom-pom jar. I think it's still working for you, is it, pom-pom jar. I think it's still working for you.

Is it a pom-pom jar? Yeah. I'll be honest with you. I've had to start my own because I put the lids back on the pens myself the other day. Oh, well done. And I had to follow through

on the threat that I was going to give myself a pom-pom. So you've actually created another pom-pom. To be fair, that is easier when you've got two kids.

You've had to introduce your own pom-pom jar because with us two, you can make the other one jealous. So if one's being good, they get a pom-pom and the other one sort of bucks their ideas up, use it as as a benchmark so you're having to use yourself

as a benchmark i'm using myself as a benchmark so obviously that's for in front of your daughter but do you still pop a pom-pom in there if you do something like the dishwasher but no one saw no i don't no i don't yeah i should i could get myself a slide by summer couldn't i this is uh from debtor dot uh me to eight-year-old son if you can sort these piles of lego and put away what you're not using then you can have pom-poms and the eight-year-old said isn't that bribery though dad was like um so the pom-pom jar has been going strong for three years and but it looks like it's being destroyed now by my eight-year-old just thought i should warn you that the pom-pom jar might have a shelf life.

We're going to have a chat later about the difference between bribery wages and gifts. Fingers crossed. Love the podcast. That is from Detta and Teddy. Oh, wow. Bribery wages and gifts. Yeah, because I suppose you could put it as a wage, but it's not. It is bribery, Rob.

No. Well, what is bribery? If you say like, oh, Josh, if you come and do this gig, I'll give you X amount, 200 pounds. Are they bribing you to do that gig? Or is that just... No, I'll tell you what they're doing, mate. They're underpaying me.

No, but do you know what I mean? What is that? Yeah, well, exactly. Yeah, where does bribery stop and wages begin? Because you could argue bribery is someone, bribery is to do something they don't want to do. But sometimes you do want to do a gig. Sometimes you don't want to do a gig.

Do you know what I mean? I think, yeah, it's mainly the second with me, Rob. Yeah, maybe. So you're being bribed. But yeah, anyway, keep going with the pom-pom jar. I find it ebbs and flows. But I think at eight, you may have to get rid of the pom-pom jar. Also, how much does an eight-year-old want a fucking pom-pom?

I know. But it's not the pom-pom. It's what the pom-pom represents, isn't it? And what he gets at the end of it. But what I'd say is it needs to go from pom-pom. It's almost like cryptocurrency now. Pom-pom is the Bitcoin of the youth. Do you think we should be investing in pom-poms? No, what I think is they're going to want Bitcoin or sterling.

I think now they're going to have that conversation where you go, if you put that away, it's pocket money. And with that pocket money, you can buy things and they basically that's how capitalism starts it's difficult rob with this whole pocket money thing because we basically i never have any cash yeah you can't just like like contact us and give them two quid yeah set up a paypal or buy them the little machine you know like buskers have. Each Saturday morning. There you go. Enjoy yourself.

Go and buy some sweets. Go take your Switch Electron down to the news shop. Right. Who's the guest, Josh, this week? Who have we got? This was a brilliant interview. I absolutely loved this. One of my favourite people of all time.

Yeah. There's a lot of name problems going on throughout it which i enjoyed yes i i kept on calling him what's i keep calling i kept calling him josh didn't i yeah which is because i was called josh and he it is josh and joe squash yeah joe squash josh it got confusing and joe uh yeah but joe squash is brilliant he's um he's engaged to stacy solomon they've got a blended family i think it's called now isn't it officially um where he's engaged to Stacey Solomon. They've got a blended family. I think it's called now, isn't it? Where he's got a child with Stacey. He's very young. I think two years old.

He's got a 11, 12 year old son from a previous relationship. And Stacey's got two boys from previous relationships. So it's a big, busy madhouse. And, but it's a house full of absolute love and joy. And Joe Swash being insane.

But he's a lovely guy. And it's a really, really funny interview. It's a, it was done before they got their second dog so a little bit calmer than it is now it's absolutely amazing and it's one of the few uh where we've done an interview while someone basically does a tour of their house yes he keeps getting moved which anyone with a house full of kids will know it happens a lot and we ended up in the bathroom with him running a bar for his kids so it's a a very hands on dad episode. Enjoy. Hello, Joe Swash. Thank you for joining us.

Hello, mate. Thank you for asking me. You have been high up on our list, hasn't he, Josh? Very much so. Oh, mate, I bet you say that to everyone. No, honestly, I've wanted you to start. 80 to 90% of people. There's a few people we haven't said it to. Yeah, there's a few people that we've interviewed

that I didn't want to before, after and during, but it's part of life, isn't it? You've been massively requested as well. You're, you know, a nation's sweetheart, but also as well, a recently engaged, would you say congratulations? Thank you very much mate yeah yes stacy solomon from uh loose women and uh the jungle fame how did you do it joe

as i do you know what i just i took her to the forest yeah that's quite a creepy way to do it yeah but you know what i put all flowers out in the forest and when we went out there stacy was like oh no I think someone's died out here. That's a shame. Oh, God. That's lovely. So explain your set-up of children, Josh, because you're a blended family.

Joe. Josh, sorry, Joe. Joe, can you explain to the listeners your set-up at home with kids? So the set-up at home is, Stacey's got two boys from previous relationships. She's got Leighton and Zach. Zach's 12 and Leighton's 8. And then I've got an eldest child,

little boy Harry from another relationship. He's 13. Yep. Me and Stacey, we've got little Rex, who's nearly two. Oh, lovely. And do you know what's so nice as well? It's sort of like, there's a lot of kids there, but you all, I know because we're friends as well, Joe, but how well you all get on and stuff.

And it works so well. I think that's why a lot of people are interested in a sort of, is it a blended family? Is that the word for it these days? What do you call it? That is what everyone keeps calling it, the blended family. I know. It's like some sort of smoothie.

I'll have one of the blended family, please. I know, because growing up, like my dad had, I've got two half-brothers, so my dad was married before, and there was five of us. Yeah, I was blended family as well, actually. I was, yeah. But when I was growing up up everyone just called it like a like a broken home but it didn't feel broken it just felt like there was fucking loads of kids

everywhere that's what it felt like um so how's it how's it going then having an eldest with harry and then the rex that big gap how's that been it's been brilliant you know what because first of all we kill each other we're a blended family that kill each other but we kill each other. We're a blended family that kill each other, but we love each other. So, like, one minute we're at each other's throats, next minute we love each other. So, we're just like any normal family. We have our ups and downs. But with my Harry, he's 13 now,

so he's into other stuff, Rob. So, I'll take him out with my mate, you know, Nick the Greek and Greg. Nick the Greek. I'll play Call of Duty with Nick the Greek. That's it, yeah. So, I'll take him out with Nick the Greek. That's it, yeah. So I take him out. What has happened to this podcast?

You can tell who books Philippa Perry and who books Joe Swash for TV and Josh. Yeah, no, so the both of you did different things, Beckett. So I like to go fishing with my little boy, with Harry, and go camping and take him away for the weekends. And with little Rex, he's hilarious, honestly. He's into everything. He's at the age now where he's picking up words.

So they're chalk and cheese. They're both at different scales, but I love it. Yeah, and how has your parenting changed? Obviously, you know, in 30 years, you've changed massively because, you know, when you were young, when it was on EastEnders, the stories of the fines you'd get for not turning up and all the things that went on.

How's it changed? I always say, though, because I've known you for years and you're one of the best dads I've ever met. You love your boys more than anything. Oh, thanks, mate. You've always put them first. It's a bit like Alison Hammond as well, in a way, where her kids came way before her career.

And I think it was massively like that. So how has it been different for you, at different stages of your life with harry and rex i mean i can't tell you that i'm the most responsible parent out there because i'm not i'm not like i'll make i'll make i'll go into the forest and we'll see a swing and i'm like oh i'll let harry go first in case the swing breaks so like i'm, I'm always into stuff, like, with Harry. Like, we always plan practical jokes. So we get on, like, we're pals, but I'm his dad as well. So I try and keep it as light-hearted as possible.

And the same with Rex. I just like to wrestle him. Like, when they're that age, I just want to wrestle. So I chuck him around and give him a wrestle. So, yeah, I mean, I just, to wrestle so I chuck him around and give him a wrestle so yeah I mean I just I think I'm quite hands on parent

but I'm really affectionate so I love my boys so I kiss him a stupid amount I'm always kissing him I'm always cuddling him like my Harry's 13 I still make sure

I get in bed and have a little cuddle with him and go to sleep with him like so I love he's starting to push away from that now though. He's getting older. He's been pushing away for ages. I always say if, if I,

if something happened and I weren't here no more, I want them to know that I have, I kissed them the most than any other person in the world. I've kissed Rex more more than stacy more than anybody i just yeah i love it i love my kids one of the sweetest but also one of the bleakest ways of looking at parenting i want to get my kisses in now because i could die tomorrow it's really sad but in my head right because I lost my dad when I was 12 I have this weird

morbid way of thinking so I'm always like if I'm not here tomorrow I want my kids to know that they were loved by me more than anybody else on the planet no

because I've got such great memories of my dad because my dad was the same he loved to wrestle we went football together but he was so affectionate and then i just i just if anything ever happened i just want them to know that i love them more than anybody in the world i think they know that joe and how do you deal with like the discipline

of it though if they are being a bit naughty i know you love them to pieces but they've got to be told off they've got to be told off out because i can't imagine you shifting from the wrestle to the sensible dad no when i see the thing thing is, Stacey has a go at me because when I have to discipline the kids, I don't discipline them like they're kids. Like, I'll have a go at them like I'm having a go at Nick the Grinch. What are you doing?

Use your brain, Rex. Don't you think? Come on. Stacey's like, he's two years old. Yeah. I have a go at them like they're adults but that very rarely happens when you drop Harry

at school are you do you embarrass him by kissing him when you drop him at school all that kind of stuff because

when I was 13 if my dad was in public kissing me I'd have been shriveling away do you know what I mean I love it I go out of my way and especially stacy's

as well so i do it with all of them i'll take him to the gate i'll open the window and i'll bib a couple of times everyone looks around like i love you how i love you my darling i'll go out of my way if anything like i'm shameless because i should be embarrassed of the way that i am with other parents but I'm like love you son come on boy you go gloom today and they yeah he sticks out so now Stacey's eldest that he won't let me pick him up or drop him off at school oh it's a great way to get out of school run though yeah yeah it really is but no I love I love embarrassing them but secretly they love it they love it when I embarrass them yeah yeah I mean they it's just in front of the friends and it's nice to know that you love that you love them so much you care about them but

sometimes they don't need it shouted in front of the girl they fancy at school oh no no honestly i go out of my way to embarrass him yeah i mean harry's at harry's at the age where he can take it quite well now and how's how's that you know how are you getting on at school and stuff like that because you i know from the stories you told told me, you weren't the best student. Listen, I went to the worst school in London. My school was the only school in London to be banned from leaving the country or going on school outings. Really?

Honestly, our school was terrible. Once we had a pond. I jumped in the pond because I thought they would send me home. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't send me home. I will say that as well. Didn't you once pretend, well, pretend that you were becoming a Muslim

in order to get Fridays off school? Yeah, right, because this is it, Beckett. Because in my school, it was very moral racial. So there was probably only, like, two white boys in my class, and it was very heavily Muslim. But all my friends were Muslim so I got involved I wanted to know what they were doing and I worked out every Friday they were leaving at half one, half twelve having half day school to go and half day prayer and I was like hold up a minute I'm coming with you but i didn't realize it was the mosque

down at fiendsbury park so it was that no hook hand hamza it was abu hamza it was like the preacher i went down there like with good intentions to sort of get out of school but I wanted to learn a little bit because I was I was always I was always quite inquisitive and wanted to know things and I went in

like I took my shoes off I had to wash my feet and stuff and then I walked in front of someone and it all went off they were like ah

and then the geezer the hookman Hamza shacked me out of the fucking house and you know what I think I told you the other day, I was so disappointed because he didn't even use the hook. He used his good hand.

And I was like, come on, mate. What's the point of it? Give me an anecdote. So have you been helping with the homeschooling? No. No. Honestly, come on, mate. I'm more of a hindrance than a help.

So what's been happening with the homeschooling? So it's brilliant now because they do it on their computer. I don't even see them. Oh, really? They go off to the bedrooms on their computer, do a few Zoom calls, and they come back a little bit cleverer. Fair enough. OK, well, it seems like you've got it sewn up.

I don't have to do anything. It's amazing. So are they quite, because a lot of people are struggling with that, but are they quite kind of into school? Do they enjoy the kind of lessons and all that? Listen, my kids, our kids can't believe their luck. They can't believe that they get to stay at home all this time. The Zoom lessons, the Zoom lessons are fine.

Like, you can't even call it, I have to pay. I pay for my Harry's school, yeah? And, and I'm still paying for his school and he's in bed

doing like two hours a day Zoom lessons and I'm paying that school exactly the same sort of money as when he was doing forest classes and freaking

all of that science shit. And why am I paying the same money? But no, my kids can't believe it. They can't believe their luck. They're loving it. They get up at 10 o'clock, they do a little bit of Zoom

and then they're back on the computer. Perfect. Oh, it seems it's sewn up. And how's it going with Rex? Is he going to nursery at any point or are you keeping him off until school?

What's the plan? Well, he can't do nothing at the moment. That's the biggest shame. He's at the age now where he really needs to be around people. And other kids his age, yes. Especially other kids.

Because at the moment, he's around me and around his brothers. So he just likes to fight. He fights. He hits. So we're trying to tell him not to hit no more. He bites. So we're like, oh, my God. If we do send him nursery, you're in trouble, mate.

Well, that's the thing. When they're at an age and they hit you and they get the interview, it's sort of quite funny. But then it's like a three-week period when it shifts to just horrendous kid. And it's not the cute baby. Yeah, so we've had to stop laughing at him now because he thinks it's the thing to do. So, yeah, he could do with being around some young kids at the moment,

some kids his own age. But there's nothing we can do at the moment, Becky, you know we just gotta gotta ride the wave out grind it out and um how do you split the sort of parenting with rex then like obviously the older kids are a bit more self-sufficient but like yeah does stacy do more of it or is it quite 50 50 because you're you're pretty hands-on with him and you like taking him out on your own and stuff yeah yeah we're definitely 50 50 because obviously me and Stacey are working. So we have to kind of look after the baby when the other one's working and vice versa.

But I like to be, again, I'm really hands-on. I like to get in the bath with him. I love to do the nappies and getting him changed. I'm the one he comes to when he wants to go to sleep. So he comes, I'll put him to sleep. So yeah, we're definitely 50-50 when it comes to it. What do you find the hardest? Obviously, I know you love doing it,

but is there bits like the middle of the night feeds or early mornings? What do you struggle with? We struggled in the beginning, Becky. It was so difficult because he was up three times a night. So me and Stacey were killing each other and she's got such better willpower than me. So when the baby's crying i couldn't

just leave the baby so i'd lay there and stacy would lay there and i knew that stacy was awake yeah her willpower was always stronger than mine so i'll have to get up see if the baby's all right so the three times a night was really difficult not sleeping but we got we got lucky he sleeps now he goes to bed about eight nine o'clock and he sleeps through to about half seven eight he has a nappy he has a little nap in the daytime from about one o'clock to about three o'clock oh nice mate i ain't done this much sleeping in ages because now i'm in lockdown i just follow the baby's pattern when when you're lacking sleep i can't imagine you not being chirpy do you know what i mean oh he's got no he's got a bit of a temper on him sometimes josh he can go he's all happy

like this but when he's head goes he goes yeah i can get a bit spiky josh i am generally generally a really nice person i really am but when i'm tired, and people sort of have a go at me, or I've done something wrong, I won't admit to it. I will fight you to the ends of it. So me and Stacey would kid each other. 90% of the time, I was completely in the wrong. But because I was tired,

thankfully, I've done nothing on TV where I've had to lose sleep. Because if I did my nice guy persona would be gone straight away because I could be a right nasty bastard yeah, look what he says that to me

when don't ever do the jungle because after a few days of not eating and sleeping you'd be horrific and everyone would be like oh, he's like that is it I think that's a working class London thing because even Tom Allen's like that. Tom Allen's like the most polite man ever. But if you piss him off or you're out of order to him,

he will turn on you. But it's so unexpected from Tom. Yeah, because I think he's a London thing. I think we let it go. See, I let a lot of things ride. So if someone will do something to me three or four times and I'll let them get away with it and I'll let them get away with it. and I'll let them get away with it.

And then as soon as I feel like they're doing it on purpose or they're trying to mug me off, I get really offended. And that's when I get the ump. Being mugged off basically is how every sort of Londoner operates, of how much they are or not getting mugged off. Yeah. What do you mean by mugged off, Beckett? Mugged off is just someone's bit of a piss take where they'll go go like say you invite someone around your house and it's your kid's birthday go oh yeah um

i've got them a present but it's in the post it's not come yet and you sort of go all right yeah whatever and then that it happens two or three times then you think they're mugging us off here don't lie to me i mean they're just just not anything too bad but just enough i like the fact that you've gone with a really specific example that is definitely something that's happened to you yeah not to me but to our family but other things like you know if someone don't give you petrol money or they don't in fact they don't split a cab you sort of you let it go a little bit i'm like oh okay and then after two or three like they're dead to me they could come up to me on fire and i'll turn around and walk off it's as soon as you feel like they're taking advantage of you you're like oh yeah i'm not having it no more yeah

joe do you find it different with stacy's children to your own in terms of discipline and stuff like that are you confident to kind of be the boss of them or do you feel that i like that's a different dynamic you know what that's a different dynamic? You know what? That's a really good question because it's something I've struggled with for quite a long time. I'm not comfortable because I've got my son Harry and his mum's in another relationship.

I really wouldn't be comfortable if someone screamed and shouted at my kid or made him feel frightened or vulnerable. That would be someone mugging me off to the maximum yeah so i feel exactly the same with stacy's boys like i can tell them you know don't do that pick that up and put that away but when it comes to real discipline or when they've done something really bad i i don't feel like it's my place not that yeah because stacy will tell me that she needs to support and she's like no i need you to to step up and i need you to be a little bit more or for a bit more authority over the kids but at the end of the day they've got dads and i really want one i wouldn't want to do something

to their kids that i wouldn't want to be done to my kid. Yeah, it's a difficult balance. It's a difficult balance. So I can be a little bit spiky, like, come on, boys. Like, to get the Solomons out of the house is a nightmare. I'm not quite a punctual person. Fuck off, you are. No way are you punctual. Yes, I am, mate.

Listen, I went through a period of about three years When I weren't but apart from that Joe I've got Seven phone numbers for you in my phone That's nothing to do with being punctual How have you gone through seven phones Oh don't ask mate Honestly

You know when you lose a phone you can keep the number You don't have to buy a whole new Yeah I know but I'm not good at downloading it onto my icloud and all that so like but i always like you know i think it's like when i lose a phone because i haven't saved my numbers to my icloud i feel like a snake shedding his skin i'm like i'm getting rid of all the i'm getting rid of all the deadwood and then yeah the real important people will phone me and then i can start again be honest jo mean be honest Joe be honest

does your heart drop whenever Beckett calls you and you think you've got rid of him but then he pops up again honestly he's like a bad smell mate he just every night

I'm the Japanese knot weeder friendship so I'm always there worthy of our way in a little tip if you want to get rid of him just go to his house forget to bring a present

three times yeah he's done mugging right so is it hard to get is it hard to bring a present three times. Yeah, he's done. Is it hard to get, I mean, like, they're saying something, is it hard to get the Solomons out of the house then? Is that a tough ask? I panic. I like to get out and do things with a schedule where the Solomons, they're free and easy,

mate. They'll come and go and they're like, yeah, sweet. Like, to get the kids to get their socks on is 15 minutes. And then to get them to get their shoes on is 15 minutes and then to get their shoes on is another 15 minutes and then stacy by that time decided oh she's gonna have a cup of tea so like we're always half hour behind my call my timetable in my head i've got a little timetable in my head and if i tick all my boxes my day has gone perfectly but um the solomons mess with that all the time you bought a camper van.

Have you still got that for like, I know you can't really go anywhere at the moment, but have you had any family trips in it in the summer when you could go? Yeah, I took Stacey to Wales

and yeah, I don't think she doesn't like it. The camper van or Wales? No. She didn't like both, mate. No, she didn't like both. So have you still

got the camper van? We've still got the car. So we've got a car that we run around in because we need two cars. But I convinced Stacey, I could be the best salesman in the world because when I want something,

I can make it sound amazing. I was like, oh my God, can you imagine the trips we can go on? It'll be like a memory wagon. Oh, mate. Oh, memory wagon. What a line. I pulled all the strings.

So anyway, we went half oh, I was eight, so she brought half the van with me, yeah? Oh, no, she hates it. We spent one night in it and she hates it. But I love it. Really? I love it because... It'll be good for you and the boys to go out here, won't it?

Yeah. Listen, it's difficult at the moment because it's in the winter and we're in lockdown. But in the summer, I'm taking it everywhere. I'm taking it fishing it's going to be honestly I'm going to make

some great memories with the kids how big is it Josh? it's a Volkswagen it's a transporter so it pops up at the top so you can sleep two at the top

and then you can sleep two at the bottom it's got like a fridge got a cooker it's got a microwave it's blinding have you heard of hotels? You know what?

You sound just like Stacey. To be fair, the reason why I'm like a little bit, because I'm questioning it myself. Don't tell her. I'm actually thinking it was a big investment. We haven't used it. Do you want to use this as an advert for our listeners, if any of them are in the market for a memory wagon?

We could sell it. I can't. I can't, because Stacey will do her nut. Is it brand new? Will you lose money on it? It's brand new, man. And I've got to get two years out of it. Without telling Stacey, I'm slightly... I'm waiting for the summer before I put my verdict out

and I decide whether it's a bad decision or not yeah you can't make a decision on it in the winter in lockdown yeah in the summer you can do loads of trips

to the seaside and even if you don't like staying overnight but having it by the beach with facilities for tea and coffee and all that it's a good

it'd be good wouldn't it you can open a little cafe yeah if it all goes quiet I can use it to do some deliveries and stuff like that yeah exactly and then your house as well josh because i'm a big fan of stacy and your social media sorry not josh remember when you first done the jungle and i kept calling you fucking russell and you've got the fucking yeah i did sorry joe for about a year i was like russ russ he's like

yeah he gets called rus Russell on the show. And that was combining people on Twitter going, get that big tooth bastard off and Russell back. And then the other host calling me Russell. Sorry, Joe. Sorry. I love you and Stacey on Instagram. Stacey's stuff's brilliant with all the tidying and all that.

But is it a truthful, is it a truthful representation of how tidy in your house is? Where are you going now? He's moving around. Wait there are you going now he's moving around wait there wait there wait there oh hello

he's not back oh they're back let me finish this wait there hello let me get away from the kids he's going downstairs

it feels like Challenge Anika the bathroom's always good I sit on the toilet we're in the bathroom now the sound man's God, it feels like Challenge Anika. The bathroom's always good. I sit on the toilet. We're in the bathroom now. The cell man's having a heart attack. When you've got a busy house for the kids,

sometimes the toilet is your only place to survive. Especially when you've just asked me about Stacey, I can't give you an honest answer when she's around me. So, I had to get out. So, is the house as perfect as it looks on Instagram or is there days where it's a bit messy? The house is generally... We've got three kids, so the house is always slightly messy. There's always a Lego brick or fricking...

You know what I find all the time? Her eyelashes. Everywhere. Mate, I'll go out sometimes and people are picking them off my shoulders. They're everywhere. She pulls his eyelashes up people are picking them off my shoulders. They're everywhere. She pulls his eyelashes up and just puts them on the side. But generally, Stacey loves a bit of organising. But it's a little bit of a hindrance

because sometimes you get a little bit... I hyperventilate sometimes when I've got to get a crisp out of the crisp drawer because if I don't leave it exactly how it was when she organised it, I'm in trouble. Really? How's the crisp drawer organised, Joe? I didn't know there was such a thing.

Oh, honestly, Josh, she's got this bracket that goes across the cupboard and then almost like... Imagine if you had a shower curtain, but without the curtain. She's taking the curtain off and then there's these little clips and you clip the crisps on, so you're hanging the crisps up. Like a washing line of crisps. Like a washing line of crisps packets. Like a washing line of crisps? Yeah.

But the thing is, I can't just pull the crisp off because it pulls the whole fucking thing off. So you've got to get your hand up, find a little clip, unclip it, drop the crisp. It's like getting it from a vending machine. Do you have to replace the one you take? Yeah, of course I do. You're right.

Yes! 100%, mate. Fair enough. But it's nice. It looks lovely. So it's a nice, you know, and it's all nice. Yeah, I mean, listen, it looks lovely, but you spend the rest of your life walking around on eggshells

in case you fuck it up. Yeah. And how does it work? Has someone come into the toilet? Wait there. Wait there. Let me just get this little. Come here.

Come sit on daddy's lap. One second, boys. Is that right? Daddy. Say hello. Oh, hello. Hello. We're going to have a bath after this.

His hair's incredible. You sure Jamie Oliver's not his dad? Oh, my life. Look at this, mate. He definitely ain't got the swastika. He ain't got a ball. I know, he hasn't. Look at that.

It's a golden lunch. It looks like a Lannister from Game of Thrones. It's beautiful. Oh, no, he's a good boy. He's hilarious. Go on, what was he saying? So how do you split it with the kids? So how often do you have Harry

and how often do Stacey's boys go to their dads and stuff? Or is it a bit all over the place? At the moment, because of lockdown and restrictions, it's a little bit all over the place? At the moment, because of lockdown and restrictions, it's a little bit all over the place because Clayton's dad lives in Scotland. And so basically I have Harry every other weekend from Friday right through till Monday. And in the next week, I'll have him two days.

So I have him basically probably about 40% of the time and his mum has him 60%. so I have him I have him basically probably about 40 percent at a time and his mum has 60 so I'm quite a lot um and with the other boys exactly the same they go and see their dads for the weekends and stuff like that so but there's never a time when there's not a kid in the house because when when the boy when Stacey's boys with their dad I've got Harry here and when Hal's away the boys so It's just a conveyor belt of kids and having to feed them, honestly. When was the last time that you and Stacey were in the house, just the

two of you? I mean, it's got to be about a year ago. It's got to be. Restrictions have fucked it right up. Honestly, it's got to be. We can't even get my mum up here to look after the baby. So yeah, it's got to be, we can't even get

my mum up here to look after the baby. So yeah, it's just, that's the thing with lockdown. If I was a single person, I'd fucking love this.

It'd be like, it'd be giving me an excuse to do nothing. But I honestly think that me and Stacey have been busier in lockdown than we ever have been.

What, like with kids or with work? Bit of both, with work and with the kids. It's just because the kids are not at school. It's like, I forget, you get rid of the kids for like six hours of the day, which is amazing. It's like a free nanny. Now the kids are not at school.

You're like, what? Well, what would you do if you got a day completely to yourself, right, for whatever reason, like one night, full day, full night, what would you do with yourself, Joe? What would be your day? Do I have to be, is it with or without Stacey? Let's do with Stacey and do without Stacey. Without Stacey, what would you do?

Oh, you know what? I haven't gone to the gym in about two years, so I'm getting really fat. I'd like to probably go gym. I go gym in the morning and then i love my fishing i go fishing all day just by myself no one around me i'll put my rods in and just freaking zone out and go for that golf as well don't you that was talking to josh yeah we went golf i took just i took becky golf right for the hottest day of the year last year

35 degrees and we didn't have no sun tan lotion I've never seen someone and I'm the ginger one I was fine I've never seen

someone go so red in my life honestly Becky didn't we think you had heat stroke at one stage yeah at one point I had to lay down

on the buggy didn't I just in the shade and you poured water on me you like on the buggy, didn't I? Just in the shade. And you poured water on me. You like a bit of golf now, don't you? Yeah, I've started now. I've tried to explain to Josh it's a great way to get away from kids. Do you know what?

This fishing's sounding good. Because you don't actually have to do anything, right? I love it. You know what? I've only just started getting into it the last three months with my boy. And we love it because we found the little place up in essex where you get a little cabin and in the cabin you get like a little tv and a couple of beds in a little fridge they bring you over your breakfast your lunch and your dinner and

you just put your rods out and just sit by the river just catch it listen i've been fishing for three months i ain't caught one fish but there is not one bit of fishing equipment I haven't got, mate. I literally, if you was going to draw a picture of someone with all the gear, no idea, it's me. But you know what it is, Beckett? Beckett, you know what it is? It's a step up from golf, because golf gets you out of the ass for about three hours, doesn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the fishing, the fishing gets me out for like two days, mate. I'm out for like two nights. My father-in-law was talking to my mum about it at a party ages ago when people are allowed to meet, obviously. Good safe, Rob, good safe.

But I was just like, oh God, don't cancel me. As if like, oh yeah, if I was going to oh god don't cancel me as if like oh yeah if I was going to break the rules I'd get my parents and my in-laws to have a chat in my house

yeah anyway so she was talking about fishing anyway yeah I go down to the coast and I get down and I get my sandwich

out my thermos and I got my chair and he went sometimes I don't even get my rods out I just sit there for the day honestly it's brilliant we get a little fire going Sometimes I don't even get my rods out. I just sit there for the day.

Honestly, it's brilliant. We get a little fire going. I love it. I love it. And our life, what we do as well as a job, we're so busy and we're always sort of 100 mile an hour and everyone's like in your face and you've always got to be happy. Like you said, you've always got to give the best side of you

and stuff like that. And I think there's nothing better than just to do nothing and just to really just fucking just think about real things for a little while yeah totally agree and just sort of like re-re-energize where i'm just giving out energy the whole time exactly one one second boys let me just put this kid in the bath wait there do you want to get in the bath give me one one second. Stay there. Okay. This is great, though. It's great. This is live parenting in an interview.

Oh, is he actually getting in the bath? Yeah. You know what? I had a bath run earlier on. He was going to get in it, but he didn't. And I was just sat there

and he's chucked everything in there, all the deodorants, the brushes. So let him just play with him in the bath. It's easier this way. Yeah, exactly. Fair fair enough do you do

shifts with stacy then if you've got what like so like you'll have rex now from half 10 to half 2 and stacy could do some work or whatever what how do you split it up or is it no i mean we just sort of take it as it is so like yesterday stacy was at work she's at loose women so she leaves at about seven o'clock so i just got up i'll have the baby all day we'll go for a walk in the forest and stuff i have to do breakfast and lunch and then and then when i'm at work she'll do the same but during the day when we both haven't got work we there's no timetable to it but like station go i'm just gonna have a little 10 minutes and she'll have 10 minutes or i'll say i'm gonna have 10 minutes so it's an unspoken thing. But yeah, we do sort of do shifts of such.

But like I said, our kids, our boy, little Rex, he's so easy that you don't really, like, it's a pleasure to be around. You just sort of sit and play with him all day. Yeah, and I think when you've had kids that are older now, you're so much more confident and you know how to be a parent. It's sort of like, you got was like that it's so much different like when you first probably had harry on your own how was how did you feel like must be

so stressful like i remember having our you know my firstborn and you just don't know what you're doing yeah well you know you know what it's like with me as well becky you know the story that i didn't really get a lot of time with how when he was when he was a firstborn when he was a baby because me and his mum broke up when he was one. And then we both went through a sticky period. So I sort of, I missed about a year and a half of like real, of him, like where Rex is at the same sort of age where I missed out with Harry. It's almost new again for me, do you know what I mean?

So like, I get to really sort of enjoy it and make sure that I make the most of it. Because the first time round, for whoever's thought it was was i didn't get proper access to my little one so um so yeah i'm just blessed i get to do it again yeah i suppose it's however hard it is you're just so happy that you get to experience it and the higher that way the lows you know exactly yeah so yeah i knew he was going to say that. Well, yeah, no, you don't sound like a man. I don't think you're going to buy another camper van,

but it feels like more kids would be welcomed. You know what? I don't know whether Rex has lured us into a false sense of security because he literally was the perfect baby. He just made things so easy for us. If they're all as well, say you could guarantee they were all as well behaved as Rex, how many would you want more?

I think I definitely want one more. I think I definitely 100% would like one more. I'd love a girl, because at the moment, we've got all boys. It's a massive sausage party in here, man. Like, we've got like Harry, Rex, Leighton, Zach, me, and then my mum, we've got my mum's boy, Daniel. I, Zach, me and then my mum we've got my mum's boy Daniel

so I thought he was going to say your mum but your mum fosters doesn't she is that right yeah so my mum's got a little Daniel

who's 16 as well that we've had since he was like we've had Daniel since he was six and so like Harry and Daniel my elders

whatever I've done with Harry, I've done with Daniel. So Daniel's like, he's like another one of the family, like another one of my boys. So it's just, we've got loads of boys. So I'd love to have a little girl, see what it'd be like to have a little girl. And I think if we had another child and we had a girl, I think that would be it.

But if we had another boy, it would always be that cloud hanging over our heads. Shall we go again? Go again, yeah. Shall we get the girl? We'll speak to you in five years when you've got three more boys, Joe. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, fuck you, we'll end up like the Waltons. They'll be like, see that young boy? David, Sean, Josh. We never came to... what would you do Joe if you and Stacey you've got a day together no kids around

I think I'd you gonna take her fishing I'd love to take her fishing she's not having it at the moment no I think me and Stacey I think it'd be nice

to get up cook her breakfast then we'll go for a little walk then we'll have a little bit of time together in the afternoon and then we'll have some dinner. Then we'll go for a little walk. Then we'll have a little bit of time together in the afternoon. And then we'll have some dinner. And then we'll have a little bit more time later on that night.

You know. Just some lovely time. There's not been a lot of that time recently. There's not been a lot of that time recently. No, so you'd like more time. When was the last time you had time? When was the last time you had time together? Oh, mate.

Honestly, isn't it bad? Isn't it bad, man? I don't even know. when was the last time you had time together mate honestly isn't it bad I don't even know I don't even know but yeah I'll be getting the time in as much as I could fair enough

I've got my final question I always ask everyone Josh what would Joe sorry why don't you say it? I thought you were genuinely talking to me then, right? No, no. Joe.

One final question, Joe. We're so similar, me and Joe Swash. I know, that's why I get it. It's just, all I can see is this big curly ginger hair. That's the problem.

Is there something that your partner does in this case, Stacey, something Stacey does that as a parent annoys you a little bit, that you can't really say without being a row? Obviously, it's taken that Stacey's an incredible mother, but is there something that she does that you disagree with,

that annoys you a bit, that you can't bring up because there'll be a row, but if she did listen to this, she would sort of hear it and go, oh, yeah, maybe he's right. What would that be? So Stacey lays out certain rules, parenting rules, that we've got to follow but she doesn't follow her own rules so like for instance i'll give the baby a little bit of orange juice in his cup yeah and she'll go oh my god you're gonna get a voice too you're off your head she'll make a big

thing about it yeah and i'm like oh yeah i'm. And then, like, a week later, she'll be like, oh, should we let him have a little bit of orange juice? I think sometimes it's the hypocrisy of her parenting that does me in. It's the things that she's allowed to do that I'm not allowed to do. But apart from that, like you said, she's amazing. And what would she say about you? What thing annoys her about the way you parent? Yeah, she's amazing. And what would you, and what would she say about you? What thing annoys her about the way you parent? Yeah, she hates it.

I've got this thing where I'm a little bit lazy when it comes, because sometimes you have a little smell, you're like, is that a shit? Is it not a poo?

I don't know. And then I've got to take all these clothes off and fucking take these clothes off to realise it weren't a poo and put all these clothes back on. Yeah. So,

I like now just to dip my finger in so I just I just I just find a little gap in his baby grow and I work my way down and I find a little gap

and I dip my finger in and then I can and I go no he's alright nothing there and then on a lot of occasions you're like

you don't have to smell occasions, you're like, you don't have to smell your finger. You're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the orange juice isn't the issue there, Joe. I'm more on Stacey's side than you there, mate. I think Stacey's got a point. What? What?

No, you can't just... It's too much of a risk to put your finger into potential human shit just to save a bit of time. It's weird, though. Come on. You must admit, your own child's shit is not... I look at Rex's shit, just to save a bit of time. It's weird, though. Come on, you must admit, your own child's shit is not... I look at Rex's shit like it's Play-Doh. Do you know what I mean? Because it's his. Because it's come from him. Could you love him so much you don't mind his shit?

I could be elbow deep in his shit and I'd be like, oh, it's all right. I don't think there's a person who's spoken to who loves their kids as much as you, Joe. And I think it comes across.

It's been so good, mate. Thank you so much, Joe. That was brilliant. Stacey, you know, if she disagrees with anything,

she can come on and dispute it. I'm sure. Listen, give her your number and just text her. She'll definitely do it. Perfect.

All right. Cheers, Joe. You've been amazing. Thanks, mate. Thanks, mate. Joe Swash there, Josh Whittaker. and he just texts her she'll definitely do it perfect alright cheers Joe you've been amazing thanks mate thanks mate Joe Swash there

Josh Whittaker I kept calling him Josh though I don't know why I'm so tired I know that was a weird kind of turn of events wasn't it of all the people

we've spoken to yeah I don't know why Joe, Josh yeah I don't know why that happens similar spelling isn't it I've not had much sleep it's been a very busy

couple of days I went for a flu jab yesterday anyway we'll come to that. Let's save that for the long ones, mate. Let's save that for the long ones. Let's not burn some flu jab anecdote goals, mate. That's the busiest stuff that happens in lockdown.

Getting to go out to the... Don't burn that. You've got to trip out. Love Joe Swash. I'd say the best bit was when you said you love your kids more than anyone and then he, remember, he left him in the bath and left the room.

That was a twist at the end, wasn't it? Honestly, though, Joe, his whole family like that, though. They're so affectionate and loving and I do think his dad passing away when he was younger has really affected him. So he's always tried his best to do whatever he can for his kids. And he used to find it really difficult when he was in Australia.

So I was out there with him for like four or five weeks away. And I didn't have kids at that point. But he'd be away from Harry and he found it so awful. And at that point, I don't think he could really have Harry for long enough to take him out. But what was so beautiful to see was the last year he did that I'm a Celebrity spin-off show, Harry went out with him and he managed to show, because Joe did that show for 10, 12 years and everyone knew him there.

It was a big part of his life. So to be able to take Harry out there just before he finished doing that show was so loving. I got a bit emotional actually when I saw pictures of him on social media with him out there, because I knew how much it meant to him to take him out there and show him his world. So that was lovely. It's so lovely to see stacy's lovely as well and joe and stacy's so happy and showing that you know big you know blended for the for the wokies out

there blended families can work if a little bit busy and dysfunctional i'm gonna say that i'm very excited about um stacy solomon's right to reply oh okay question one the camper van you were like on like in stuff where it talks about like um having half brothers stepbrothers and sisters and all that blended families and step parents and all that is that and i've got my really close friend of mine like um they had a big family there were the dear loves and the right sort of combined and it was always like oh the rights are like this and the dear loves are like that it was quite it was fine even though they were separate that you could just you know identify a trait in that that person that you know when he said the solomons take ages to get out and i think

you know sometimes we can all be a bit too like kids go no we're all just equal everyone's the same but no they're a bit different to us but we accept that we know that we all love each other and get on so yeah that was that was great I think getting the Solomons out of the house

when he said that phrase I thought there's an ITV2 show waiting to happen getting the Solomons out of the house him at the front door come on we're gonna be late and the Chris just

being pegged up oh that was brilliant yeah I love Joe Swash well brilliant he's so good thank you to Joe Swash yeah brilliant he's so good thank you to Joe Swash thank you all for listening

back on Tuesday bye