Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP17: Nadiya Hussain

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP17: Nadiya HussainJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant chef, author, and presenter, Nadiya Hussain.Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Josh Middicombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.

Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, and you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Can you say Josh Whitaker? Oh, my word, I've just played two. Do it again, Rob. Yeah.

Unbelievable. Didn't work on my laptop, so I went and played on my phone. They both started playing at the same time. Hello, and you are listening to... No, I think we should keep it in. Okay, well, let's keep it in, but let's at least try to start it properly, okay? So this is sort of letting people into the process. Hello, and you are listening to Lockdown Parenting.

How are we? Can you say Josh Riddickham? Josh. Josh Riddickham. Can you say Rob Beckett? Beckett. Oh, very efficient. More efficient than your use of your phone.

Yes, exactly. That was Finn. And just to complete it. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Whittakam? Of Winnie the Pooh. Yeah.

That is a nuke. So there we go. They are off two different devices devices neither of which i could make work and then they both work at the same time you hate this feature it's because you have to deal with the emails it's the problem is because i for some reason i can't i'm not gonna go into it we're on though we're here josh how's your week been? You're not going to believe this, Rob. Yeah. We've just got a text from Michael saying he's lost us and he's trying to reconnect.

What is going on? I'll tell you something, Rob. You know, so still clearing out the house. Yeah. So it's going well, actually. We've almost got there now. What are you trying to get rid of? Why have you got loads of stuff?

Because we moved my daughter upstairs. To make space for the nursery for the new baby the nursery is full of stuff so we cleared that out this weekend lots of putting items in the street and now you need stuff for a baby and the stuff for the older kid so it's double double stuff it built the cot this weekend don't need that to that for eight months that was a absolute madness that is the best bit of advice don't build the cot until your baby's about six months old i built a cot before my baby was born and then i moved house before the baby was born oh so we had to take the cot down put it back up again and it just stayed up for six months oh my word that is a heartbreak but what will happen is your partner will say but please i want the nursery to look nice so you do it anyway

even though you know it's a fucking waste of time. So that was a bit, I felt that. That was fine. Did you feel that? Good to get it done. In eight months, I'll be delighted. However, built the cot. That was fine.

But put some stuff outside. You love that? It's the best way to get rid of stuff because the charity shops are closed, isn't it? Yes. The Christmas tree holder's finally gone. Oh, yeah, okay. Couple of jigsaws,igsaws gone done them before don't need to keep them fair enough i think that's good good recycling yeah uh neck pillow for airplane flights stiff neck

not gone not gone a pillow won't go it's too intimate pillow's never gonna go pillow's never gonna go right is it soft plush or is it inflatable? It's soft plush. And we've got far too many of them because what happens is obviously you go to the airport, you never think to take it, you buy another one. It's like American plug sockets. And then you come home, put them in your big drawer, they stay in your drawer forever

and you get to the airport and buy a new one. Yeah, exactly. Dixons or whatever it is, curries in an airport is fucking cleaning me out on them. Anyway. That's the only thing that keeps them going. No one wants to go to Curry's or Dixons, but they know you're forgetful. Anyway, everything goes.

Do you want to know how bad I feel about this, Rob? Terrible. Do you know what I found on the floor? What? A single solitary piece of jigsaw. Oh, no. It it been dropped in your house or like by where you put it we'd opened it up i think uh to look inside i think before it went out or something it's been it's been tampered with by a child oh you oh so you're giving away

three puzzles with pieces missing you you sick fuck. Awful. You're horrible. That's horrible. Think that. Poor bastard. If anyone knows, what is the puzzle? Let's track it down and apologise to... It was a puzzle of the local area. Oh, dear, Josh.

Yeah. That's tough. Grim times. Grim times. Not bad about it. Rob. Yes? Could you take me through what you've eaten this week?

I've got a little game for you. Oh, what I've eaten? Well, wait a second, because the new menu has been released for my daughter's nursery. Oh. And I thought we could play, is she going to eat better than Rob Beckett did? Well, I think she will,

because this week, well, it's a combination. What did you have for breakfast this morning, Rob? I haven't had breakfast. I'm doing intermittent fasting. I'm avoiding breakfast. Oh, Rob. And what I'm doing is...

I forgot that you were getting ripped for 40. I'm getting ripped, mate. And I'm doing keto, which basically means that I don't eat any carbs, but I will, at midnight, eat pork scratchings and a can of Coke Zero, which I can't imagine is a good diet, and that's why i've not lost any weight this week oh okay but i have been doing curries in my thermomix which i'm not getting paid to say this it's the future of cooking is

that a heated blender basically yeah but it's so expensive but i think it's worth it because i've saved so much money not getting takeaways anymore but But anyway, I've been doing curries in that, and I've been making mental curries, man. I've been doing my own. I've made my own. Do you blend a curry? What about the bits in a curry? Basically, it's...

What are you, an OAP? No, it's not blended. But this Thermomix thing's mental. It's like every kitchen appliance in one bowl, and it cooks stuff, chops stuff, blends stuff, all sorts, right? I can do sous vide, mate. I don't even know what it is yet, and stuff, all sorts, right? I can do sous vide, mate. I don't even know what it is yet and I haven't done it,

but I can do it. Anyway, I've got this because we weren't cooking in the house. We've got a terrible culture of not cooking in our house. I don't know, I'm a terrible cultured artist. No, we've got that culture.

It's a fucking team falling apart. But I used to spend so much money on takeaways and I'd always go, it's because I'm out and about, busy, blah, blah, blah. But we were both crap at cooking and this thing, it's got an iPad on it and it tells you exactly how to cook it and it's got a weighing out and about busy, blah, blah, blah. But we were both crap at cooking. And this thing, it's got an iPad on it

and it tells you exactly how to cook it. And it's got a weighing machine in it, Josh. That is turning to QVC. But anyway, I've been making my own curry powder. What? I made my own curry powder. What are you doing, Rob? I toasted a cinnamon stick.

You toasted a cinnamon stick in your Thermomix? Yeah, not on its own, but with all the other stuff. And now I've got a pot of my own curry powder that I use for my curries. And I made a Sri Lankan beef curry. And can I tell you the mistake Lou made? Yeah. Neither of us are very good at shopping and getting all the stuff in. Right, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, she ordered beef. Like, you know, for a curry you have sort of like braising beef what it is right anyway she didn't realize and thought oh it's a bit pricey the shop this week she'd ordered 500 grams of fillet steak we had fillet steak curry by accident right it worked out about 20 quid a portion yeah mate it's so bad though because i can't go back well i can because it's too expensive but it was so nice you can afford it no but i can't live like i can't have fillet steak homemade curries oh wow what have you become anyway so we ordered the braising steak this week on the shop and lou don't really eat meat that much but because we're doing keto she

has to eat more meat because that's like the only part of it and she's just like i don't like it i was like yeah but you can't cover the fucking wagyu curry every night in a fucking thermomix a pair of bellends anyway i've been having so unless your daughter's having wagyu steak curry for lunch this week's been a bit it's very hit or miss basically this week it's either paul scratchings and coke zero or Wagyu Steak oh well it wasn't Wagyu let's go through your daughters choose a meal Rob lunch on Tuesday

lunch on Tuesday spelt risotto with butternut squash R-I-S I think it's O-T-T-O you what oh very

very nice come on very nice very nice too much not enough no I enjoyed that spelt risotto what is spelt risotto it's a grain isn't it spelt Oh, very, very nice. Come on. Very nice. Very nice, yeah. No? Too much? Not enough? No, I enjoyed that. Spelt risotto.

What is spelt risotto? It's a grain, isn't it, spelt, with butternut squash, fresh tomatoes, green salad, and seasonal fresh fruit. Wow, that's a spelt risotto. What's a chef at breakfast? Is it just like porridge and stuff? Well, there or here?

Well, no, there. Do they do breakfast there? I can take you through the five breakfasts. Toasted oats with raisins, warmed berries and Greek yoghurt. Toasted oat? What is that? It's porridge. Oh, no, no, because it's with Greek yoghurt.

So it's like a... Toasted and oat? Oh, my God. It's granola, basically, that. Yeah. That's what that is. Eggy wholemeal bread with seasonal fruit. Nice.

Banana oat pancakes. I love the way they... That is so East London. That's about wholemeal bread in because eggy bread sounded too oi-oi. Scrambled eggs, homemade beans. Homemade beans? No.

Homemade beans. Fuck off. Heinz know what they're doing. Anyway, sorry, Josh. So what else have you shared? What was the most bougie thing on that menu, would you say? Well, I'd say... Because actually it sounds like quite normal stuff,

but they just give it a bit of a flair, don't they? Well, yeah. It's good PR. I think the smoked haddock kedgeree on Monday is quite a... That's a smelly dish for a load of kids, isn't it? Oh. She's so fussy at home. Does she eat it there?

Yeah, so she's, you know, at home, she's, you know, fussy over the shape of the pasta, and you're like, you haven't spelt risotto and you're not kicking up a fuss because my daughter's like that she has uh school lunches and she eats loads more different stuff there than she does at home massively it's ridiculous and also she she was dairy free for a few years but we did the milk ladder and got her back onto dairy yeah and we told the school but they just sort of didn't realise. So she's been having like shit little cakes for ages. And then she went, can I not have the proper cakes?

She was like, yeah, we did tell them, but she's on proper cakes now. Oh, that's good. Rather than the dairy-free ones. Do you know when I was at school, so I went to a tiny school, my primary school. There was four children in my year. Yeah, the school was normal size, just not many people.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. Not the village in Dorset. Yeah, Devon, right? Whatever, same thing, isn't it? Come on, mate. many people. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Not the village in Dorset. Yeah, Devon. Right. Come on, mate. It's just tourism, isn't it? It's tourism running the place, but hated by the locals. Farmers as well, Rob.

The farmers used to get, at secondary school, the week of Devon County show, they'd get a week off. Like it was a religious holiday. Really? They'd just get the week off. So would there be kids? So how old was it? It was just normal. Well, it's just not like where the where

that was like a quarter of the class devon county show isn't it oh you went there from then as well when you said that so that'd be the children so would there be a like the dynamic would be there'll be children of farmers and then they were basically be grooms a bad word um they'd be in a condition to take over the farm yeah yeah but they get the week off like it was Ramadan. Do you know what it is? You're like, this is not a religious holiday. It's Devon's answer to Ramadan. I've got some great Instagram stuff here.

They're a bit disgusting, okay? But just be warned. If you're eating food now, stop. Here we go. So after listening to the Michael Sheen episode and you talking about flying with children, I thought you might like to hear the literal shit show we had at 20,000 feet.

We were flying to California to see my in-laws with our 19-month-old son, and I knew it was going to be hideous doing an 11-hour flight with a rampaging toddler. 19 months is a tough age because it's a bit too young for iPads, but old enough to run around and be bored and probably not napping. Maybe not napping. Anyway, they had an iPad and loads of charity shop plastic tat and a million snacks.

I thought we might just make it there without too many mishaps. Just after dinner was served, we realised our son had done a poo. So I told my husband I'd go and change him. While I was in the queue, I looked down at my foot and there was something on my white converse. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I threw my child at the person in front of me in the queue and started trying to pick up. Oh my God. With the baby wipes I got halfway back to our seat and they turned all the lights off because it was sleeping time. Oh my God. So I was scrambling around in the dark

trying to find my son's phone. Oh. I thought I cleared it all up and told the air hostess who couldn't have really cared less. I honestly think our experience of long-haul flying is one of the worst. But please tell me others have had equally awful flights. Why do people have kids?

This is interesting for me because I don't know if I mentioned this. I might be next August or next year sometime. We're trying to work it out. I might be going to Australia to do a tour, do like a few shows in all the cities in australia how long would you be going for well normally you can do it in about 10 days if you go on your own because you just you get there have a couple of days to recover then jump between all the cities and then fly back um but we thought maybe for the summer holidays we could go as a family and have a holiday out there and it sort of be a bit of a busman's holiday. Yeah. But the kids would be four and six. That would involve a 24-hour flight.

So I just... Ouch. We just need stories of tips for that flight and more horror stories. Can you beat Louise here? For the sake of this podcast, you do need to do that, Rob. That flight. Yeah, I think I should.

Also, I think six and four might be okay.'s not a baby it's not a toddler would you enjoy your holiday if you knew you had these gigs in the evening yeah but we'd break it up a little bit and i'm uh i'm trying to take a more zen approach to gigging trying to be less pressure on myself but um i think if we broke it up well i think if we went to a city and spent three days there and then i did a show in the evening i I'd be quite happy of the break type of thing. And we've got loads of family and friends out there. So it would be like, it's not really just holiday. It would be based in a city, seeing friends and family in an apartment rather than... If I look, because I'd have to go anyway, so at least I can see the kids then.

And it'd be a fun thing to do in the summer, but it would be winter. But yeah, any terrible stories that beat Pooh Isle. At the moment, Pooo Isle's winning. I think we need a... Let's do this. Let's do a scoreboard and Poo Isle is winning the worst flying children's story. Worst flying mishaps.

Can you beat Poo Isle? Now, this isn't a flying story but it is just as disgusting, if not worse. Hello, Rob and Josh. I've been... The last one was from Louise and this one's from katie gaz and lily in crew here's a little tip for any aspiring comedians if you're gigging in

north wales stay at crew hall hotel because it gets to north wales in an hour and a half two hours you can get the train to london really quick from crew station that is a great tip if you're touring the north of wales anyway hi rob and Josh. I have been listening to your podcast since the start. We had our first child on day three of lockdown in March 2020, so it's been the perfect night feed listen for me. I have a wonderful parenting story for you, which I really hope makes it to your podcast. I'd be over the moon.

I should say here, I've been arguing with Lou in the night because I don't hear the children waking up at all, and she's becoming furious with me. And then she woke me up on purpose and I went to the toilet and she had a go at me for being too loud going to the toilet. And I said, oh, I won't be awake unless you wake me up. And she went, I was only awake because your kids woke me up. And it was 4 a.m. and I thought, you know what? I can't wait for Monday morning.

Let's get back to the email. So last weekend, our daughter, now 11 months, woke up my husband at 5am in a truly unique way. I'd been up a few times in the night with her, so she was lying between us, feeding for quite a while as I was enjoying the extra bit of shut-eye. In hindsight, probably feeding a bit too long. I sat her up and eventually, in one swift moment,

she leant forward and projectile vomited in my husband's mouth oh my words oh i don't like this he was snoozing with his mouth open slightly wow the look of shock and disbelief on his face was priceless she was also very shocked and let out a loud shriek it was without doubt the weirdest wake-up call we've encountered so far. Interested to see if you've had been woken up in a really weird or gross way by your kids. Oh my God. Thanks again for the brilliant podcast. Keep them coming.

Let's start a leaderboard of that as well. Okay, so we've got the worst stories on a flight and the weirdest, most shocking ways your children have woke you up. I find the creepiest is when they just stare at you. Sometimes they'll just stand there and you wake up and you shit yourself. It's like a little Victorian ghost, especially because they wear nighties.

And only old ghosts and nans wear nighties, don't they? I've never really seen one on a small person. And it's just shocking for me, like in the middle of the night, the silhouette of a nightie floating through your bedroom. It's horrible. Now, Rob, should I quickly open a present? Yes. She still hasn't sent them.

Still hasn't sent them. Rose's presents from 2018 Christmas that we found. This is for Chris, who is her cousin. Cousin. Well, so far we've had the reusable coffee cup and the mini karaoke microphone. Yeah. This is...

What is this? It's a reusable bottle. I'm starting to see why rose didn't want to send them i'm not gonna lie to you rob worst present so far well the thing is i think a reusable bottle is useful like the the taking the cold water out of your house bottle i've got one of them the problem is when you see someone's range of presence next to each other, you see when they're on a theme, whereas normally you wouldn't see that. It feels like she's got mental in Tiger. It does feel like she's got mental in Tiger. Let's not rule that out.

Right. Time for today's interview. Genuinely, I say it every time. One of my favorites. I'm going to say it. This is potentially. No, I'm going to say it. It's my favourite. This is Nadia Hussain.

Hello, Nadia Hussain. How are you? I'm good. Hi. Yeah, I'm tired of babysitting my mum's grandkids. Can she have them back now, please? I'd say that is the ultimate opening line we've had how how many how many kids have you got the idea and how old are they so i've got um two boys teenagers 14 and 13 um at the time when i had them when they were young one after the other

um it felt like a good idea i'm regretting that choice now because now I have two teenagers, which is a lot of hormones, a lot of acne and a lot of food. Sounds like a bake-off tent. Yes. Yes, that was pretty much the bake-off tent. And then I've got my 10-year-old daughter who is basically reverted back to being a two-year-old and she's attached to my ankles. So yeah, we're having a great time. Oh, wow. Wow. So normally they'd be at school but you're home schooling now presumably yeah yeah um it's weird because the boys are fine they're quite good because they're really busy

they've got lots of the school's been really good at giving them work um and my little girl is kind of she comes down and she's like I have to do something creative and I'm like what does that mean and like that usually means she wants to bake a cake or paint something and I'm like why don't you go outside and collect flowers and and and that lasts for all of about five minutes yeah yeah it doesn't matter when it was snowing for about a week that's a tough that's a tough creative gig, isn't it? Yeah, it is. But what I did find was that when she said I need to do something creative

and something for – she had a task and they said do something helpful. So I got her to sit down and unsubscribe to all my emails. No way. That's amazing. Nature gave me these little labourers. Why not? So I got her to sit down and she thought it's the best job in the world she felt really kind of she felt really grown up by it but you know i subscribed

to a lot of rubbish and so she was unsubscribing and she just said mom that's a lot of emails i was like yep you just get she's done the lot done the lot amazing that's genuinely the lot, done the lot. Amazing. That's genuinely the best task I've heard anyone. She kind of culled the lot. It's good to get a kid to do it because she started asking and then I kept saying, oh, no, no, maybe keep that one. And she said, no, I'm not asking you anymore. It's really good because she kind of just, she took hold of the situation and she dealt with it

like a true 10-year-old and she just said, back off, I'll do this. And she did it. And like, honestly, it's the best thing I've done this year is get her to do that. She's like, what's the decluttering woman called? Oh, Mary Kondo. Yeah, she's like that. You know, that's her name.

You know, that's my daughter's name. It's Mary. Oh, wow. There we go. And are the boys as helpful? Or are they a bit more grunty and on their own on the computers and stuff? I mean, they're really good at asking me if I need help. It's when I say yes that the truth comes out because it's like often they always ask me.

Honestly, they always they're really like they're really good at asking me, do you need help? And it's the second I say, yes, I do. They're like, oh, and sometimes it's just easier to do it myself. I do they're like oh and sometimes it's just easier to do it myself um and I think with the kids boys being at home like we've had to establish boundaries that we haven't had to normally and actually it's my poor husband that suffered the most because he works from home uh he works in IT boring we don't need to talk about that um so he works in IT and his you know I want to hear more about your husband's job Nadia no please don't it and his you know i want to hear more about your husband's job nadia no please don't please don't you know what i do when i when i can't sleep i

ask him to talk to talk about work and so he don't honestly it works it's like a lullaby to me so because he talks about it and it's so dull and so many letters and it's so boring and he just talks and i fall asleep it is magical honestly we should do a podcast on IT and get people to fall asleep it's great I mean to be fair though I am genuinely interested how big can the cloud get and where is it how can it just hang there where what it's the set there's got to be a machine somewhere taking it hasn't it yeah so many so many letters what does it all mean? But the poor man, he works from home.

And so usually it's my husband and the cat that are at home. And ever since lockdown, now we've kind of taken over the space and I'm at home so much more and the kids are all at home. And so you could see the look on my husband's face.

He's like, seriously, get lost. Why are you all here for? So, cause he had his, like he had run off the, you know, he could come in, make a coffee. He didn't have to stop to see how I'm feeling. He didn't have to stop to make, he didn't have to stop to make any small talk with me. He could just get in. My husband's not a talker. He gets in, makes his coffee, gets out. But in makes his coffee gets out but when I'm stood in the kitchen I'm like oh I'm having a bad day he's like oh man but then there's the kids so I think he suffered more than anyone else having us at home um but the boys spend so much time

upstairs it's really hard because I'm like let's play rummy cub and they're like please not rummy cub and what do they play instead then? Are they on computers or are they on their phones? Well, we don't allow phones during the week. So there was a point where we're like, oh, you've got to talk to your friends. And, you know, you've got to keep socialising. But they were just on the phones all the time.

So yeah, Monday to Friday, we've called them and said, no, you can't have them Monday to Friday Friday because they talk to all their friends on their chats while they're at school. So I said, not Monday to Friday. And then on a weekend, we might let them have their phones occasionally, but it's like you give them an inch and they take a mile and genuinely they're getting humps like camels. What's going on? Because they're looking down all the time. So I was I was like guys can you look up like I feel like I haven't seen their faces because they're always kind of looking down either laptop or phone so like I feel really guilty but equally I'm still the parent so I'm

like no you can't have them I quite I'm enjoying parenting a little bit more now than this this last year and a half than I have ever because I don't actually care how they like I care how they like before I suppose because I was away a lot more I used to feel really guilty and so I'd give in a little bit more yeah and now because I'm at home I'm like well let's just make it like each other's lives hell together so do you worry that what it's going to be like when you go back to because presumably you're going to everything's going to open up soon and so you're going to be away again do you think you'll look back on this as a kind of a real period of bonding with your children? Yeah, we've definitely, I think in all seriousness, I think sometimes we, like it's tough.

It's not easy just being stuck in this. And I say stuck, we're not stuck, we're safe. You know, we're safe at home. And, you know, like we love each other, but everybody needs space. Everybody needs a little bit of time away from each other. And there are moments where we've had really hairy moments. It's like this is getting really difficult.

But that being said, equally, you know, we've had, we're never going to get this experience ever again. I feel sorry for my teenagers because this is the time where they should be going to the cinema and meeting with their friends. And they've kind of, they've lost all of that. But, you know, we're never going to get this time back. And we've been able to spend time together that we wouldn't have had otherwise so like I one thing I realized was

that sometimes I've been so busy I've not looked in their eyes and so sometimes I just hold it like I genuinely if you think about how busy we can get sometimes how often do we just hold their faces and just look at their eyes it's not like I do I do I do my whole 14 year old yeah he hates it but I love it and Nadia you've got like the the thing I remember most about like the first time you rose to fame is you've got the most kind of your eyes really like look at people do you know what I mean your eyes really stand out so the idea of you holding your 14 year old's face and just staring into their eyes. Yeah.

It's an arresting image, Nadia. It is, but I also threatened him with taking him out of the inheritance. If he doesn't look back, it's like, I will, I will,

I will cut you out the inheritance. And that usually works. Yeah. It must be like of all the people we've spoken to, in your children's life, your life has changed so dramatically in what you were doing before. I don't know how old your children would have been when you did Bake Off. What was it, six or seven years ago now?

Yeah, my eldest was eight. So really little. And has that effect, like, how have they adapted to that? A lot of chill people who we spoke to when they've had kids, like their job and there's been the same throughout, but did it change how you parented and stuff like that? Of course. I mean, our challenges became different, you know, going out, whether it's restaurants or just down the street, you know,

when people recognize you. It's not as easy anymore because I think as they've gotten older where it it felt like fun at the beginning my eldest has become quite protective um and he's you know I'm he's bigger than I am you know he's bigger than me if he if he doesn't like what I'm saying you know he just grabs me around the waist picks me up and takes me back in the kitchen. He just picks me up. Like an old age 50s dad. He never says anything. He doesn't say anything. He holds me around the waist, picks me up off the ground, takes me in the kitchen. I walks out, shuts the door and he's gone.

And so it has changed as they've become older. It's definitely changed. it's it's it has changed as they've become older it's definitely changed like they had this my eldest had a task to talk about somebody that inspires them somebody in the public eye that inspires them and I said so you're going to be writing about me he goes don't be ridiculous so so for them they couldn't care like the boys do not care what I do they don't want to be a part of it they're not interested at all um the idea that I do this, it makes no difference to them. But I remember really early on when they were having this in school when we'd just moved them, because we used to live in Leeds, and we'd just moved them to their new school. And the teacher asked him,

what do your parents do? It was a question they were asking all the kids. asked him what what does your what do your parents do it's a question they were asking all the kids um and he didn't know what to say and I remember we always have this conversation it's really funny because like so much has changed in the last six years and he was like and she he said miss can you come back to me so he couldn't work out what I do because like I don't have holidays it's just it's a bit it's freelance isn't it so yeah so for he was like, I don't really know what she does. So he couldn't put a name to it. And then he just said, she follows her dreams. And I was like, oh man.

Oh wow. Just throw that on a pillow, man. Genuinely, when he said that, I was like, and that sticks with me, that stays with me forever. And ultimately as parents, you know, what we do doesn't really matter as long as they believe that we're following our dreams in the hope that they'll follow theirs. And that's ultimately what I've always ever wanted. So the fact that I do this job means nothing to the boys. But my little girl, can I say, she loves every second of it.

um she loves every second of it every when we would go out to town and people didn't recognize me so we'd be walking past and if people don't look at me or recognize she watches she watches to see who looks who twitches who might turn back around so she's out there watching looking she loves all of that and um she um when one day we were walking past nobody recognized me i was like great day we can get on and get stuff done and she in the middle of the town center turns around walks up ahead of me about 10 yards stands in front of me turns around hands on her mouth and says oh my gosh is that nadia from the Bake Off? And what happens? Everybody turns around. Oh, it's funny.

And I'm stuck in town for an hour, signing things, taking selfies. And I was like, whilst I don't mind any of that, I try to stay away from it when I'm with my kids. Yeah. She just stood there. And I bet the Bake Off crowd take ages to take a selfie. The age demographic, they've got leather cases on their phone they've got their thumb over the camera they're a bit doddery some of them it must be

bad angles bad angles yep that's just very very never mind everyone else i was going to say um obviously like you know because you moved did you move um to milton key was it milton keynes area to be closer to london and you know so you moved did you move um to Milton Key was it Milton Keynes area to be closer to London and you know so you get more work and stuff like that and so how how is your parenting like the split of the parenting between you and your husband changed you know because I think obviously you had more time to be with the kids and stuff before take off so how's the split now is it is it sort of 50 50 or do because you're both working full-time how do you split the parenting in all honesty I moved down south for free babysitting I didn't okay yeah it was mostly free babysitting because like

mum's like 25 miles from me so okay it's a good distance for it's a good distance between me and my mum but also equally very easy to get the kids to her so it kind of works out um so yeah it it's changed dramatically i was a stay-at-home mom i was studying i was going to university at the same time so i was between looking after the kids and studying it was all very kind of full-on but you know i still maintain to you know i i was very lucky to be able to spend be at home with my kids because i think that's a luxury you know i think it is a luxury to be able to not need to work and stay at home with my kids, because I think that's a luxury. You know, I think it is a luxury to be able to not need to work and stay at home with the kids and raise the children. And, you know, I had the best years, you know, the really cute years. Unfortunately, my husband has the,

he's, he's, he's had the kind of the raw end of the bargain because he's now got teenagers. So it's like, I had the baby cutesy stuff and nap times, nap times and, you know, cute pictures. And I had all of that, but yeah, it's definitely, we don't do a whole 50, 50 thing. Like I'm a firm believer in, in, in, in, when you're a parent raising children, there's always somebody who's putting in a little bit more than someone else. And there was a time in my life where it was definitely more like 90, 10, you know, and I was, and my husband was working away a lot, you know, traveling a lot. And for me, you know, I was at home all the time. So I had, I had all of that. So in terms of parenting, we don't do 50, 50, like somebody who's always putting in a little bit more and you know whilst we've

been at home you know I definitely do more than he does because I he's like he always says you're so good at laundry I'm like that's not like that's not like what is that I think he thinks it's foreplay I don't know what is that like not working yeah like oh thank you so much I'll do more now I'm so good at it it's like yeah no but you know when I'm away uh before all of this like when I used to be away for like something like I could be away for like 20 21 days he has the kids and he's really good like he's he's really good he says he's a better parent when I'm not around I don't know what that means but I think it means that we egg each other on sometimes it's nice to have them to yourself um and I think he loves that so he's had an opportunity to be with the kids in a way that

he hasn't had before so I think he really enjoys it um and also like we've become really good at just getting the kids to do stuff so like we don't we don't do the laundry um they dust the house they spend three hours on a sunday dusting so it's hilarious where do you live no it's not that antique shop how much dust is there for three three kids three hours that's nine hours of dusting nadia i know but that's three hours of free time yeah and will they get pocket money for that or is that just no they don't no no, fair enough. And will they get pocket money for that? Or is that just sort of expected? No, they don't.

They don't get any pocket money for any of that. You know, they get money when they need it, but absolutely no way. It's like, I don't get paid to clean my house. So why should they? So, you know, and I did toy with the idea of getting a cleaner. And my little girl said, oh no no that's too fancy and then the

boys looked at her as if are you kidding like we can't get out of cleaning she goes mom that's too fancy we can't have a cleaner we'll just do it ourselves I was like like she's the good kid I like her she's a good kid yeah the boys were like what is wrong with you she nearly got us a cleaner but yeah they do it they clean for three hours every single day and I it's not like it sounds like I laugh about it and it sounds like punishment but actually you know we live in this home and I could get a cleaner if I wanted to but you know we live in this home and they have to understand that they make this mess we make this mess and we've they've got to understand what it's like to kind of to just be functional functional. And, you know, like

there's no, you know, there's no specific gender that should be doing a specific job in this house. I grew up in a very kind of men go out to work, women stay at home. That's kind of how I was raised in our family. And we, those gender roles don't exist anymore. Everybody chips in, everybody gets the work done. And I mean, I'm playing the long game here. Like one day when they get married, I want their husbands and wives to say, wow, you raised a really good human. And like, I'm definitely playing the long game. I want somebody, I want them to get married and go off and for their husbands and wives to come to me and say, thank you. Well done for raising such a good good human and that's really important to me because like I'm grateful to my mother-in-law for raising a good man and and you know and my husband occasionally might reciprocate that feeling not always but not always but you know I that's the

long game but you know I want them to be I want them to be I want them to be domesticated and know how to use an iron and a washing machine. Least of all, to help me because it's hard work. They're never going to be as good as you are at laundry though, Nadia. You're just so good at laundry. You're the best. You're the best, there is. On marriage though as well, because you had an arranged marriage,

would you want that for your kids or what would you think about that for them? It's weird because we had this semi-weird arranged marriage where we spoke to each other for about six months we never actually saw each other we never met each other we saw maybe we maybe had like exchange a couple of photos and luckily he photographs well my husband yes he photographs really really well you didn't get catfished did you there's a picture online he was a very handsome man. But as you say, he photographs well. He photographs as well as you do laundry, I'd say.

He's a bit great. But yeah, no, we had this weird arranged marriage where we kind of spoke to each other for six months, exchanged a couple of photos. And the day we got engaged was the first time I'd ever seen him in person. Oh, wow. So, like, talk about gamble, right?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's a hottie though i've just google imaged him yeah yeah yeah yeah but it's a bit too attractive to do it are you sure he's doing it he's not like a spy that would be a nightmare though if you were a spy in secret and your wife won bake off it really undermines all the spying yeah yeah yeah but he does he does always say you know you work in telly and occasionally I make an appearance. Wouldn't it be awful if I was ugly? And I was like, excuse me?

Like, who said you weren't ugly? What's wrong with you? Oh, sorry, we've really ruined it. If he listens to this, it's not going to help me and Rob going on about how attractive he is. No, like, so he's, I mean, like, he photographs really well. But, you know, when I saw him the first time, like, he must I mean like he photographs really well but you know when I saw him the first time like he must be good looking if I got engaged to him the first time I saw him

big gamble though at 19 uh to be 19 got married when I was 20 um yeah but like he's you know like beautiful face but great also great thighs really good thighs good to know it's only top half up in this hello photo so i don't know what the thigh situation is just google no idea who's saying husband thighs rob well again i did that last week i did it i did post a happy birthday message and said happy birthday you have great thighs so it is there somewhere on my Instagram. He has great thighs. But we got married when I was 20. And I definitely, definitely, I can tell you, we are one of the success stories. We're very lucky that we really get along. And we have a similar sense of humor. We are different in that we are chalk and cheese. He's quite emotionally inept, and I am not.

chalk and cheese like he's quite um you know emotionally inept and I am not um and so we're very different we're very different but we work we work really well for our kids just you know when like no I don't want to do that to them because like you know when they're old enough to find husbands and wives and settle down I want to be in a sports car traveling the world I don't want to be I want to be doing all of that yeah you don't want to be in a sports car traveling the world. I don't want to be, I don't want to be doing all of that. Yeah, you don't want to be like recruitment. You want to be like headhunting. It's a nightmare, a recruitment consultant. And that's such a big recruitment, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a big, it's a big responsibility. I'm like, I know my kids, but like, I don't want to know them so well that I'm picking husbands and wives for them. That's weird. It's just like, just do that yourself. And I think I can't imagine that I would get that right. You know, I can't imagine.

I can't even stick to a shopping list. No, I can't. No. No. No, thanks. What about your parents? Obviously, an older generation, they pick that for you. But like, so do they sort of agree with you slightly?

Or do they sort of, would they try and convince you to go down the arranged route? I stopped listening to them about 12 years ago. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, it's been about 12 years since I stopped listening. But they, you know, it's really weird because I'm the only person in my family who had an arranged marriage within my brothers and sisters.

I'm the only one that had an arranged marriage and that that's mostly because I couldn't be bothered with like looking for someone I was like yeah so dull it's just like no it's like I just couldn't be bothered so it's like when I go with Amazon recommends rather than look down at all the different items on Amazon I'm just like I just need to get a chair yeah just a chair just let just give me a chair. Also as well, sometimes arranged marriage, because it's sort of like in traditional sort of British culture, it's not really a thing that happens. But a lot of like people that live in small towns just go to the same pub every week and then end up marrying someone

in that pub. So it's sort of like a fishing net of arranged marriage to a certain extent because they're not really exploring the world to find their soulmate kind of thing yeah I just I think I got really lucky in that we did it the other way around we got married first so we had that commitment but we did all the things like anyone outside of a marriage would do you know we got to know each other really well and we kind of just realized what we like what we don't like about each other but we were tied to being married and I said to my husband when we got married I, I said, you know, this is it, right? I'm not getting divorced. You're stuck. And he was like, okay. So yeah. So I kind of like laid

it out. I was like, I'm not getting divorced. We're making this work. And he said, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how, that's basically the tone of most of our marriage is tough. Yeah. So that's kind of how we, we were very lucky because I know lots of people who haven't had That's basically the tone of most of our marriage is tough. Yeah. So that's kind of how we were very lucky because I know lots of people who haven't had arranged marriages and it hasn't worked out. And I know people who have had arranged marriages and it's worked out. It's luck of the draw and it's, you know, hard work. And definitely don't want that for my kids because I kind of want them to have the freedom to do whatever they want to do and find their own happiness and be able to make. Because you to be you have to make mistakes to learn so they've got to they've got to go through that through their life plus I want to be in a sports car driving around Europe please I don't want to

be doing any of that. Your book you've written today I'm strong which is your it's like a kid's picture book and it's coming out in a paperback and it's weird now because I imagine you wrote this book like for you like kids and they're much too old for it now to enjoy it you know your teenage boys so is it you feel a bit like oh like I wish I wrote that a few years earlier and they would I could have read it to them when they were younger yeah I think you know what you'd say that but my kids still have picture books that they read as children that they still enjoy now because it's the message it's it's the it's the feeling you get after reading just a few hundred words that sticks with you like even now because I wrote a previous book to this was my

monster and me which is about feeling anxious and feeling worried and books like that didn't exist when my kids were really little so yeah of, I'd love if those books were still around. I would love if those books were around when my kids were little, but they still take something from it. And they're not embarrassed by the fact that I write children's books. And sometimes it just takes a few short words or a couple of sentences for them to feel like, oh, you know, because Today I'm Strong is all about your inner tiger and finding that kind of strength in you. And every book of mine has got an animal attached to it because I think kids naturally love relating to animals. And a tiger is such a big, fierce, bold animal. And we all have that tiger inside of us. And I think sometimes telling your children that that tiger's

in there, you've got to find that tiger though and that's really important um and and even now we go refer back to the books and i'm like you know where's the tiger find your tiger and sometimes the tiger is a tiny little kitten and other times it's big and it's fierce and it protects you and you have to learn that about yourself and i think my kids even though they're older, they still really enjoy my, I think they feel really proud of the books because, you know, they know that there are children in schools, in libraries who are enjoying the books. And that's, I think they, I think they like that. It's a beautiful message and it's beautifully illustrated. But also I think you're a living embodiment of sort of embracing that sort of inner tiger where the reality is if you didn't like bite the bullet and push yourself to apply for like bake off you you probably would be living a very different life it'd be a great life but you wouldn't have you know realized your full potential which you are

now which is I think when you read this book and knowing what you've gone on to achieve you know going from just studying looking after kids and all of a sudden you win the biggest show on telly and then you're making a cake for the queen it feels like someone's thought of a story yeah it's unbelievable so like I think you know you're a living embodiment of that embrace of that inner tiger which is really inspiring yeah I hope you know like I think um so often like if you'd asked me if we had this chat like five six years ago I would have said oh no let's just talk about cooking and baking because that's kind of where I after doing the after doing Bake Off like the intention was never a career you know I didn't even I didn't even apply for Bake Off my husband applied because I was so anxious at the time he

just said you've got to you've got to do this because you need to do something that doesn't involve me and the kids I think he just did it for cake I think he just did it for cake. I mean to be fair you did get rejected from the Great British Laundry Off, which you first applied for. I did. I just wasn't good enough. Did you put him forward for Britain's Next Top Model? Do you know what, though? That's so incredible that he did that, where, like you say, at the time, he was probably doing most of the parenting and a lot of men would go, I've got a cushy gig here. I do a bit of work, but my wife's doing all that, you know.

But to push you and encourage you so that you did something for you is such a lovely thing for him to do. He's not just a pretty face. He did. But also slightly when I, when I say out loud, the fact that he, I was suffering with anxiety. Like I was at my worst in terms of my mental health. And he said, Hey, let's just put you on the biggest baking show in the country. Like at the time, can you see why that didn't work for me? I was like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's not going to work for me. And I said, no, that's ridiculous. And the fact that I got through every stage without even realizing it and then made it to the final 12. Then I got the call and they said, you've made it to the final 12. And I kind of freaked out, hung up. And then I called my husband, shouted at him. And I said, look what you've done. And he said, what have I done? I said, I've made it to the final 12. When he came home that night,

I said, you're going to have to call them and tell them that I died. And he said, no, no, I did. I said, you got to call them. You call them and you tell them I'm dead. I died and they'll be really sad for you. Just tell them. And he said, no, you call them. You call them and you tell them I'm dead. I died and they'll be really sad for you. Just tell them. And he said, no, you call them and tell them you died.

And I said, well, that doesn't work, does it? No, he goes, you're just going to have to do it now. So he kind of pushed me knowing very well that I was stronger than I led myself to believe. And it was tough doing Bake Off. It was tough doing all of that. And the fact that I get to do, you of that and the fact that I get to do you know like the fact that I get to call it my career sometimes it really I can't even say the

words you say like I always stumble when it comes I was like oh it's just I keep saying oh yeah yeah you know like my mum still says are you done yet I'm like mum I'm not on a jolly it's an actual job and she's like no are you done are you gonna go home to your kids yet? And when she says that, like, it spurs me on to just keep going even more because I get to, it's hard. Let's face it, growing up within the community I did, like, it's the simple thing of being more successful and earning more than men in my family is hard for people within our community to take. So that is quite a difficult thing. And sometimes I try and shy away from that. And actually, rather than shying away from it, I should embrace that because I love what I do. And if you'd asked me five years ago, I'd have said to you, do you know what? No, just can we just talk about the simple things like baking

and that's it. I don't want to talk about anything else and cooking and being in the kitchen, nothing else. But like five years on, I understand the responsibility. You know, I, as a young kid did not grow up reading books that I could relate to or watch television and watch someone that I could relate to. Yeah, of course. You know, and I often as a teenager asked myself, if I don't see myself, do I even exist? And now, you know, as somebody who works in publication in television, as a Muslim, you know, first generation British child of an immigrant, Bengali brown woman, you know, so often I saw myself as one dimensional because I was only led to believe, I was raised to believe that I only had one role in my life. And now I know that's not true. There are dimensions to me, to us that exist. We can be bold. We can be bright. We can be successful. We can earn money. We can be

funny. We can be all of those things. And that's how I want to raise my kids. And that responsibility is so much bigger than just my children. It's, it's bigger than that now, because now that I work in the public eye, there are people like me, girls, women, immigrants, brown Muslims, whoever, you know, they look at me and say, you know what, if Average Nadia can do it, so can I. And that's really important to me. That representation is so important. I think it's so inspiring. I think one of the things also you talked about is your anxiety as well. I think that's really important because I think people presume, that's such an interesting story about your husband coming home and you didn't

want to go on the bake-off. And I think being honest about that, people would presume that you're writing your cookbooks, you're writing writing your children's books you've written a novel you've got tv shows you've got like everything and I think it's really important like I think that's so important as a message that you still do struggle with anxiety and panic and stuff like that and for people to know that those two things can exist together that doesn't mean that their life is just trapped if you know what I mean yeah they can they they're not there's no you don't have to exclusively be one or the other you can have both and I think so often I get asked people like oh you're so happy and you're so like you seem like you've got it all together and that's not true you know like I as somebody who suffers with uh

mental health issues I you know lying is a big part of that, you know, like pretending and, and painting on a smile is a big part of, of just getting through. And one of the best things I ever did was to be honest about my mental health, because you know what it's like when you put something like that out on, on, in the public, in the, in, in the public forum like that, you know, you get people who support you, but equally get the other side, which is, um, cause you know, social media is a cesspit of negativity. Let's face it. It can be great, but it can be so negative. And, and that whole kind of bandwagon mentality that kind of like, oh, you're just a celebrity. Who's just doing it to sell books. And that's not true at all. You know, like I would not like any anyone if I couldn't make this up you couldn't

make this up you can't you when you have it you know you have it and it was a choice for me to be honest about it because one thing that was really important for me was to show vulnerability not just to people but also to my children they needed to see that I can be vulnerable because it's not healthy for me to show them that you have to be strong all the time yeah it's unrealistic isn't it for young people young young muslim women watching you and if you never show any vulnerability you think well i can't do that she's superwoman but if they know that you do struggle and it's a constant progression of improvement in yourself and understanding your own mental health yeah and i think that opens it up more where sometimes you

do just see these bulletproof people and you think that's impossible that can't be attained but I think if you're all human like you are it's so it's so refreshing and I wanted to ask you but with the anxiety because I did the bake-off special celeb one and I can't it was the one of the most intimidating sets I've ever been in and I've you know done telly for years and live stand-up I'm used to people looking at me but as soon as you start baking all the cameras come on you and it's like a bit overwhelming and then especially even when you're cooking in your own kitchen and you've got to flip over a sponge it's a bit of oh god is it going to work type moment but you literally hear 20 people go right he's flipping the sponge go to go to go over to Rob go and 20 people and cameras are like a

centimeter away from you yeah it's so overwhelming and like I was doing it with like Daisy Ridley a Hollywood actress and Alexander Burke and everyone was getting panicky and stressed and you know I didn't even really care how well it went I was sort of there for the charity thing but if you're into baking you've got anxiety how did you cope with that sort of pressure I would have I think I would have just flipped out if it was me 10 years ago I don't know about you but I think you know when they employ the people on Bake Off have I think I would have just flipped out if it was me 10 years ago I don't know about you but I think you know when they employ the people on Bake Off like I think do you think there's like a chart on how cruel a person can be and the cruelest people get the job

because it's like do you have no heart like I'm trying to like you know when they come and talk to you when I'm trying to put you off it's when they talk to you when you you know, when they come and talk to you. Yeah, and try and put you off. It's when they talk to you when you know that your timer's just gone off. You know when your timer goes off and they come running? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. But you know that timer's gone off because you need to take that cake out of the oven. So the three minutes you spend talking to the presenter or the judges, like that's three minutes overbaked now.

And so you then, and then, and they come to judgment they say they flick your cake around like they're flicking your heart in with a fork and they say slightly over baked and then you can't even talk back and say yeah but you know it's over baked because you spoke to me for three minutes yeah i'm awake they cut all that out don't they they take all of that out and then you're like oh so you know i used to try and hide it like I used to say I used to like turn the timer off before it was about to go off and then count in my head and then quickly take it out and and they say oh you took it out and I'm like it's out now tough yeah I think by the end I became better at kind of just like trying to avoid them um and and I think when

you're in a tent full of 12 people you've almost got 12 people to hide behind it was much harder near the end when there was just three of us and the tent was very sparse very empty and and even the crew you know like I don't know if there's like uh there's a hold for the crew where like one minute you've got like 50 people in the tent in terms of crew and then suddenly there's like 15 you're like where are the others gone is there like is there a big yellow storage box you put them in the next series and where have they all gone but it gets it's so much more anxiety inducing the smaller it gets but I found myself really because you can't have your phones on you

and they're taken away in a box before you even start. So you don't see your phone until the end of the day. And so I used to, like, you can't even distract yourself with things online. And so I used to go to the toilet and sit there and have panic attacks. And yeah, used to have I used to have I used to say I need to go for a wee and then I would go and have a panic attack and then come back but I think because I was so invested in in in these bakes that baking has always been my happy place and I think even with the cameras and the distractions you know when I really just forgot about all of that, I could just concentrate on my baking. And I think that got me, I think in some ways that got me through.

What would you say to someone who is listening to this, that's kind of having panic attacks, but isn't kind of talking to anyone about them? What would you say would be the best thing for them to do? I think this year has been really tough, hasn't it? And I think my kids are really struggling with their own mental health and as are, you know, family members and people around me. And it's really tough to be there for anyone because what you want to do is just go and hold someone because sometimes that's kind of all they

need is just to be held. And it is, it's been a tough year and I've kind of had to hold myself because I haven't got anybody else to hold. So for anyone who is struggling out there, one of the hardest things is talking about it and to physically allow those words to come out of your mouth. But once the words have come out of your mouth, when you say, I need help, I'm struggling, or I need you to be here for me, to be able to say that is one of the hardest things when you're suffering with anxiety. And once you've allowed those words to come out of your mouth, you've done, that's half the battle. I promise you that is half the battle being able to say it out loud. And it took me a long time to be able to allow myself to be vulnerable.

long time to be able to allow myself to be vulnerable. So for anyone out there who has, even if it's, if you don't have lots of family around you, if it's your neighbor or a friend or somebody you can text, anybody, make contact, speak to somebody. That is the first step in helping yourself. That's what I would say to anyone who hasn't spoken out loud about how they're feeling. I think that's great advice. And I think sometimes you'd be surprised that they may be feeling the same as well. And you can sometimes find a common ground with people that are also struggling. I think men struggle. I think men really struggle to open up and say, I'm not.

Because I think there's this sense that men have to always, I think vulnerability in women seem to, people think that they naturally go hand in hand. And so when women say I'm feeling shaky or I'm not feeling good, it almost feels like it's more acceptable than when a man says it. And I think men have this whole thing where they have to be strong all the time.

And I push my husband. I'm like, cry, just cry once. Please, give me anything. Just cry, cry once please give me anything just cry be vulnerable it's anything have you tried grabbing his face and staring into his eyes maybe if I tell him like it's really hot when men cry maybe that'll make him yeah maybe that might work but he doesn't I'm like please anything so I think being vulnerable is so important and allowing people because it allows you to allow people in and I think it's really hard for men I think men

really struggle with that so especially to men I think you know if you've got somebody you're close to and that you can speak to um comfortably then you absolutely should and also workplaces are becoming much better at um having the facilities to help people who are struggling, especially right now. So, you know, find out if your workplace has got any sort of scheme where you could, you know, where they help with your mental health, because it is so much more available now than it was a few years ago. So, you know, research, dig deep. There's a charity I work with, the Matt Palmer Trust, a friend of mine we lost, sadly. But he so it's helping people with mental health problems and the uh the the charity have started up these uh mental health first aid

courses that if you go to the palmer trust website you can basically sign up and they teach you how to become like a mental health health and safety person so that if you're in an office environment you can be aware of behaviors and stuff and it and it teaches you how to approach that person and how to offer support so if you are you know listening you were a part of a company you can go to the palmer trust website and sign up to one of their courses and it sort of helps you be aware of and how to help people that are struggling which i think is quite a good a good thing to have because you know you have people in offices in hr that help with other things yeah i think it's good if

people are trained in how to spot someone struggling and how to offer them support that they need. Exactly. Yeah. Absolutely. It's quite a delicate thing. But I think it's so inspiring, Nadia. So I have these conversations with Ramesh quite a lot. Well, you know, he's a very famous Asian person in this country.

Yes, I love Ramesh. Growing up. We really wanted you to go, never heard of him. Yeah. But he was like saying when he was growing up all that was on the telly was like goodness gracious me which is brilliant and comedy and then san jangita and eastenders that's the only asian people on the telly yeah and you know you sort of have to forge your own path really and i think what both of you are doing is so incredible and just uh it's really

to be admired and i think your kids are you know even now they're 13 and 14 and pretend they don't care but you know deep down they're walking around with pride knowing you're writing these books and doing what you're doing so it's such an amazing story there's this thing that we say like my kids growing up now as as um second generation brits it's like you would think that their struggles are I suppose as part of of me hoped that they wouldn't have the same struggles that we had growing up. And unfortunately, you know, those struggles still exist. And in terms of representation, they certainly don't see representation. It's great to see your mom on telly, but they get really excited when they see other people that they can like, when they see Ramesh, but can we just, let's just stop talking about him because I'm the Asian on this podcast.

We don't need to talk about him anymore, but like he had his moment, that's it, done. Yeah, one in one out policy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't have two at once, come on. You want progression, but you don't want to lose work, do you know what I mean? Yes, yes, spread the Asians out, please. But yeah, my kids, you know, like I'd love to think that, you know, my kids aren't going to have the same problems that I did. Certainly there'll be less

than the ones that I had, but their problems will still be there. And there's something that we, we have this kind of mantra in our house. We say, whenever we feel like we walk into a situation, which I do all the time, I walk into a situation where I'm the only person, whether it's Muslim, being brown or a woman, you know, like I walk in on a set and there's 50 people and I'm the only one there. And there's a problem, you know, that that's a big problem. Something needs to change. And whether it's a meeting, you name it, you know, I still to this day go into meetings feeling like, oh gosh, it's just me. And even now I struggle with that. And my kids, you know, they have the same situations going into certain settings that they go into. So we have this thing that we say and we say elbows out.

Now, if you like physically stick your elbows out, like you're making space for yourself. But I'm not saying go and get stick your elbows out and barge everyone. But it's a thing, you know, whenever they feel like they don't fit in, I tell them elbows out, make space you first, you've got to make space for you in order to make space for others. And as a grownup, I have to often tell myself elbows out. I literally whisper it in my own head because if I don't make space for me, how will I make space for others? Like, how do I forge that path? If I don't say that I belong here, this is my space. Like I'm not asking today, I'm not asking to take anyone's space.

I'm saying I need to create my own. And that's really important for my kids growing up to know that they have to create that space hasn't been created for them. They know that, that I don't have to tell them that they know that space has not been created for them. So they have to create that space themselves. And that's going to take hard work and resilience and lots of knockbacks but they have to and I know that because I'm experiencing those things myself so elbows out make space for you so you can make space for others but Romesh is taking up too much space yeah way too much Romesh elbows in mate give us a chance post lockdown I mean who knows how much more space he's going to take up right Yeah. Way too much. Romesh, elbows in, mate. Give us a chance.

Post-lockdown, I mean, who knows how much more space he's going to take up, right? Exactly. I do think elbows out, though, has got to be a name of another autobiography, talking about all this. Elbows out is a great phrase. Yeah. We always finish with the same question. And it's basically, is there something that your husband does thatys you in in his parenting that you can't really say to him about it turning into a row but you know deep down you're right and he's wrong is there something that niggles at you a little bit oh is everything an answer see you know what it is he's like he's we're both quite like we both quite like discipline so we just like we like order in our house we always go on about like right we like discipline and we like to we like

order in the house and obviously that's kind of relaxed a little bit since being at home a lot but I feel like I we I feel like we secretly made this plan that we were going to have order in our house and we were going to have these rules when we had children. Like I stuck to it and he didn't, and that's not fair. And he, somewhere in between all of that, decided that he was going to spend hundreds of pounds on Nerf guns. And now he's the better parent somehow. Like I was like, hey, yes. See, I said, when we, when we made that pact, when we said we were going to make children that we were going to have order in this house. We said nothing about by spending hundreds and I swear to God, hundreds of pounds on the funds with extra bullets, with extra bullets. Sounds like an absolute legend, this guy. Then you know what he says?

He says, while I'm working, he'll say, oh, okay, well, you and the cat can stay in the conservatory. And he locks me into the conservatory with the cat litter tray. Can I just say, conservatories are hot and steaming turds are no fun in here. And he locks me in here and says, you stay here. And then he ransacks the entire house and he plays Nerf guns with the kids just before bedtime. Can you see why? He riles them up before bedtime. Not okay.

He broke the pact. You're jealous, aren't you? You're jealous that he's the Nerf gun guy and they love it. I can see that. And I'm the one that does really good laundry and spends three hours dusting on a Sunday. Nadia, it's genuinely been, I think it's my favorite interview we've done it's been an absolute joy thank you so much for doing it and keep it up what you're doing is invaluable it's really impressive well done thank you thank you um what's the name and date of the book again I know it

Nadia I'm testing you today I'm today I'm strong and it's 1st of April. 1st of April, correct. Right. Thank you so much, Nadia. Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure. Honestly, it's like speaking to old friends, familiar voices. It's been lovely. Thank you. Thank you very much.

That was amazing. Absolutely. Do you know what? I'd seen Nadia on Bake Off and seen her on a few things, but I just didn't realise how incredible she is. It feels like whatever she chose to do, whether it be baking or presenting, she's funny as well. She did comedy. She's just so she's got this energy in her being, I think, without saying too much, kind of absolute wanker. But I mean, she just she just lightens up the room and brings energy to whatever she's doing and passionate.

And I think it's so inspiring. She's she's really got her head screwed on hasn't she and it's it's it's nice to see someone that's sort of come from sort of quite a humble background of like studying and a bit of baking to now like it's hugely successful but feeling like she deserves to be there totally rather than like oh i'm lucky to be here i'm a girl done good she's she's owned it and gone do you know what i'm good at what i do and i've got a voice that needs to be heard like I know she won Baker for whenever it was six or seven years ago but like when you read what she's done since then it's just such a kind of lesson in someone who's been offered an opportunity and just done so much with it yeah and not just done the same stuff but pushed themselves to do all these different things. And I think it's just so important how honest she is about things.

And I don't want to overstate it, but I think she's one of the most important cultural figures in the UK at the moment in many ways. Fucking hell, mate. No, but do you know what? I know, I'm just saying that. More than Romesh. Oh yeah, more than Romesh.

You just fucking get to see his tits. Do you know what I mean? Like in what just saying that. More than Romesh. Oh, yeah, more than Romesh. He just fucking gets his tits out. Do you know what I mean? Like in what Nadia represents when she says she speaks for such... Yeah, it's so... Honestly, I know what you mean. It's so true. And I think sometimes because, you know, like everything in the media at the moment is so right wing or so left wing

that someone's either Farage or someone's like Swampy being an activist. Do you know what I mean? So it's quite nice to sort of hear... The kind of topical reference I'm looking for, Rob? I don't know, I can't remember anymore. I mean, Jones, he's a bit annoying, isn't he? But do you know what I mean? People are either so annoyed, like, well, I think she's just in the middle.

She's so normal and she's got such a good heart and she's just trying to show that a female British Muslim that is funny, silly, can be successful, can earn money, doesn't have to do the traditional stay-at-home mum things and all that kind of stuff. And I think it's really inspiring on like a number of different reasons. So yeah, no, good on her. And also her husband's thighs sound absolutely incredible. They sound as delicious as her cakes, Rob. But yeah, no, it's great. I enjoyed that. i'm a bit concerned though we're getting too are we getting too serious is this still a funny podcast are we i don't want to become like you

know one of them comedians i think they're serious i just don't want to be running for london mayor in five years but not for a laugh i think we all don't want you to be running for London Mayor. Why are we all wrong? No, absolutely brilliant from Nadia. Thank you. Her book is out 1st of April. It's called Today I'm Strong. And paperback as well. That's always the best one.

It's out in paperback, 1st of April. It's so stiff neck hardback, isn't it? It's so stiff neck, Rob. Isn't it? It's just too hard to carry around you've got to have it on the shelf no thanks

I'll wait for paperback eight quid in St. Chris when you buy a hardback you get a hardback book for Christmas you buy a hardback book

like a novel there's no there's no way I'm taking that on the tube it's too heavy for your bag no wonder they've all

got stiff necks it's a nightmare thank you very much cheers guys and yeah we'll see you next time see you next time No wonder they've all got stiff necks. It's a nightmare. Thank you very much. Cheers, guys. And yeah, we'll see you next time. See you next time.