Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP3: Paddy McGuinness

Episode Date: January 29, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP3: Paddy McGuinnessJoining us this week is the brilliant comedian and presenter, Paddy McGuinness. We're so proud and honoured to announce we have reached over 10 MILLION DOWNLOADS!!!!And to say thank you and help those in need after what has been a tough year for so many, we've started a Just Giving page for the Trussell Trust which you can find here;https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lockdownparentingWe've kicked things off with a donation and if anybody is in a position to help this fantastic cause then please do. No pressure. But they do great work for a brilliant cause so if you can spare even a little please do. https://www.trusselltrust.orgThanks and see you soon.Josh, Rob (and producer Michael) xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Josh Middicombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.

Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, and you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh.

Widdicombe. Widdicombe. Good girl, well done. Not good enough in my view. Not good enough. Why not? That is Betsy, who's 20 months. Very good for 20.

Developed quite the sarcastic mannerisms during lockdown. Oh. If she sees kids crying, she mocks them by pretending to cry, then laughing. Betsy's a tough name to pull off without being a bit of a bitch, isn't it, Betsy? A child was having a tantrum in the park the other day, and she just looked over and said, wow. I like Betsy. She's got some sass. Betsy if you're called Betsy you're gonna have sass right but you can go one way or the other but at the moment it feels like it's going the right way. Yeah my niece is called Betsy. Sass. Covered in sass. Covered in sass. Right Rob have I told you about my balloon animal? Uh no is the swelling gone down? Yay. Well, you say that, Rob.

So there's one of the guys at nursery. He's one of the teachers at nursery. Yeah. Let's just say he's quite popular with the mums. Oh, he's a bit of a looker, is he? He's a part-time model and skateboarder. And he's French as well. Oh, my God.

What is this? So he's French, does modelling, skateboarding, and looks after kids. And does balloon modelling. Yeah, oh yeah, mate. Do you want me to show you a picture? Let's have a little look on the group. Oh my God, this guy. He's so handsome.

Are we allowed to put that on Instagram? I could ask. I mean, he's not going to complain, is he, to like just pumping this out to 40,000 mums? He'll be in his element, this guy. Oh, look at that, absolutely. I mean, he's so good looking that if you broke down

his appearance, none of it's good. But, he's so handsome, he gets it on. He's got a mad fringe, which is a bit over the top. Big hooped earrings and a big silver chain. But he, mate, he is one of the most handsome men I've seen in years. He works at the nursery, right?

Oh, my God. Yeah. Unbelievable, right? That's why you don't let Rose do the school run. All these mums queuing up, hoping that he's the one that brings out their daughter. Yeah, to do a quick ollie or a kickflip. Yeah. No, so he goes skateboarding on the weekends.

He models, teaches children French, looks after children. I don't know how he manages to do that in between bedding nine to ten women a week. How does he have time to get down the half pipe? He must have a tiny dick. Just something. Something to level it out. Anyway, my daughter came back from nursery with a balloon animal that

he'd made of a dog. The next morning she had it. She was twisting it around and I was like, don't do that because you'll burst it. So she put it down. I went to pick it up to put it on the table and just the mere fact i touched it meant it burst oh so it was your fault it's my fault and you can't you're like no well you that is totally unfair that is not my obviously she was furious with good good reason. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to send you, there was one bit left. I'm going to send you the picture of the bit left. And tell me what you're looking at.

Oh, well, what we got there is a, what's a two and a half, three inch penis and two big chunky pink balls. It's a cock-a-ball. It's a balloon animal sculpted cock-a-ball. So that's what we're looking at. Even one of the balls is bigger than the other for like real life accuracy do you know what i love most about this photo i think we found the knickknack mothership behind the balloon is a cupboard full of your knickknacks well that's our that's our crockery uh look at that it's all in there isn't it so we'll put that on our instagram

that balloon animal um to give you an idea of that cupboard behind full of the knickknacks, we've recently, at my insistence, got rid of a third of the things that were in that cupboard. And this is a photo afterwards. Oh, right. Where did it all go? You sold it or given it away? Or what's happening with your knickknacks?

Do you know what I've got into, Rob? You can sell it as merch. Well, no, I think Rose is going to sell the ones that, she's going to sell some of them but what i've got into is we had a builder come around a few months ago there was a shower tray that we didn't want and we were like uh you're right to get rid of this or take it we'll take it to the tip or whatever he's like why don't you just put it leaned up against your wall on the street we've got a very wide pavement in front of us so don't worry about access and i was like what and he's like someone will

take that within an hour oh 100 you never done that before mate oh welcome to london baby now it is my absolute addiction it's so much fun isn't it i've even got a box a cardboard box which i've written help yourself on that i've just kept in the hallway and i just keep putting stuff in it it's great i just put a load of like glasses we didn't want in it the other day. And then literally within two minutes, someone had taken them. It's amazing. I did that once with an old set of golf clubs, right? Because I had no space and I weren't playing golf and they were really old.

And then some arsehole came out and I watched him through the window and I got them all out one by one, swung them a couple, and just took the driver and the bag and left all the others on the floor. But that's great fun. Is that not a thing in Plymouth? Well, no, I lived on Dartmoor, Rob. There was no footfall.

There was no one walking past. I can't believe you didn't know that was a thing. No, I just thought that was like fly tipping or something, but it's amazing. Yeah, but you bring it back in at the end like the day if it's sort of the rules are if it hasn't gone by the end of the day i haven't had that problem yet well it just goes to a flash you know what i've been doing with recently right is my new strategy of trying to you know happy house and all that i just do whatever lou wants right like totally you know whatever she says i

go yeah sounds good like that's sort of my little tactic just even if i think it's a bad idea just go yeah right because i just sort of think there's no discussion yeah so what what what have you done that you didn't want to do oh that's right i might or should well i think i might um add that on the order we'll have that for dinner next week okay all right i think i'm gonna do that and i do okay i just whatever she suggests just say yeah i mean that feels very different from the persona you were throwing out in the last podcast. What the anger one? Two very different sides to Rob Beckett.

Do you think the fact that you're eating dinner you don't want is making you angry? No, it's, do you know what it is with me? Right? I've got, I've learned how to do like mindfulness meditation,

sort of do self therapy on myself. If I'm feeling upset or anxious i've got coping mechanisms that help me come around but the reality is even though if you know what you've got to do it's like anything like if you've got a bad ankle and you've got to do certain physio it will take a week or two for it to have an impact it's the same in your head and mental health so even though you know what's wrong you know what you've got to do to calm down and get it all in the right place it will take time and the problem for me is sleep if i don't have sleep i'm i'm done it's over and i get angry and stressed that's why lucid you could never go in the jungle or the big brother house yeah because i'd be hated by the public within

about a week yes i i think also you know you're doing all right rob you won't need to go in the big brother house it's fine but i'm glad that you've discussed it with your wife i think that the worst point for me would be going into the celebs go date in house and still do the voiceover yeah after lose left that would be one of the that would be one of the lowest moments in the history of humanity um yeah i had a bad night's sleep rob yeah so i decided to do a january diet so i thought i'm gonna cut out carbs right good idea good idea first day cut out carbs full day without the carbs the amount of energy i had was insane by bedtime my heart was thumping so you had loads of energy with loads of energy

with no normally carbs gives you energy no because it kind of gives you a peak and then you have a like it okay so when you when you're just eating like lots of protein and vegetables and stuff the energy i had was such that i went to sleep at 11 and i woke up at 1 30 in the morning and i couldn't get back to sleep i was just up i was just up i'd had two and a half hours sleep and my body was ready to go see now i can't see we've got like the opposite problem i can't get to sleep and then when i go to sleep i'm off right so and i just sort of sit in my bed sometimes i try and listen to music or a podcast or watch stuff but i try and listen to audio stuff to get me to sleep so what are you doing for 1 30 do you lay there trying to get back to sleep or i lay there for about two hours and i was like

this is absolutely pointless so what i did was i got up and i decided to do the stuff i needed to do in the day so that then i could swap it for a nap later on great shout and did you do that then you just had the nap later yeah so i did some work that i needed to do i didn't want to reply to any emails because i thought it would look insane when they see the timestamp on the reply to the email. Yeah, that is a bit full on, isn't it? Josh is like, what's happening with that? Is it 2am? No, no,

nothing yet. Like you're pretending you're in LA. Oh, what you could do is just pretend, go, hi guys, I'm sorry for the early thing. I'm in LA, so I'm just getting some stuff done. But actually you're just awake in your front room at 2am. Yeah, yeah. And they'll go, do you know you shouldn't have travelled to LA in the current circumstances? Yeah, it's a bit difficult, isn't it, to get away with.

But I've got through that now. Oh, that's good. I've got through that extra energy. I do think, though, at the moment, I'm finding, I feel a lot better, but last couple of weeks, the news has been so bleak and it's constant, especially like Boris last week was like, yeah, it's more deadly. And you're like, oh, mate, leave it out, will you? Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, that was a bleak and it's constant especially like boris last week was like yeah it's more deadly and you're like oh mate leave it out will you do you know what i mean oh yeah that was that was a bleak day really tough so it is it is hard i think it will get better once it sort of gets all you

got to do then rob is just uh look at that picture i've sent you of the french man and it'll just make you feel better well should we introduce paddy mcginnis why not so we've got paddy mcginnis this week um i love Paddy. Such a nice guy. He's always been so lovely to me when I first started doing comedy. And yeah, he's got three children. All of them have additional needs, which he talks about. And they've just moved house, him and Christine.

And he looked like lockdown had been tough for him the last couple of weeks, I'd say. Don't you think, Josh? We all felt like that. We did it early January. Yeah. It's a early January. Yeah. It was a great podcast, really funny. But I thought he really opened up Paddy because sometimes, you know, he's Paddy McGuinness on screen,

but he was very considered and open, which was a slightly different side of Paddy, you know? I'd say it was quite worlds apart from an episode of Take Me Out. Yeah, it was somewhere between who do you think you are on Top Gear? In between there. Exactly. He wasn't Take Me Out, Paddy. But yeah he's brilliant guy lovely man and a really dedicated

family man who absolutely loves his wife and kids so it was a great uh great episode so uh enjoy paddy beginners thank you for joining us on the podcast we're very very excited to have you we tried once previously locked down and there was a Zoom-based iPad nightmare, weren't there, Paddy? But we've got you now. It was, yeah. Firstly, gentlemen, I'd like to apologise if you can hear that noise in the background.

There's a bloke drilling underground in my house. Legally, Matt, I had. It's not like some kind of thing where he's trying to burrow his way out. Yeah, yeah, OK. It's an actual... Jesus! I'm in a podcast!

Can he have a 10 minute tea break or is he going to keep going he stopped he stopped now he stopped nothing nothing nothing

for fuck's sake come on we've been months with it trying to line this up so Paddy what's your set up at home with kids

you've got three haven't you three kids yeah I've got twins seven year old Months of it trying to line this up. So, Paddy, what's your set-up at Home With Kids? You've got three, haven't you? Three kids, yeah. I've got twins, seven-year-old and a four-year-old little girl. So, two girls, one boy. We've just moved house. Yeah. So, there's all that stress. So, I moved house at Christmas during Tier 5 in the midst of a global pandemic.

So you can imagine the stress levels. But thankfully, they've settled in really well. Yeah. That's the thing in it as a parent. If the kids are happy, everything's good. Yeah, it's true. It's chaos, but they're happy. Yeah, and they're not in school.

The seven-year-old's not in school? Well, they've just started. They didn't go to school all through, you know, when they did the full lockdown in March. Because in March, it was weird, isn't it, how we all kind of got a little bit conditioned and the fear set in. And I'm all about being sensible when you're out and about,

keeping the distance, face mask, washing your hands. And I think if everyone kind of told the line with that, sensible when you're out and about keeping the distance face mask washing your hands and i think if everyone kind of told the line with that you know we probably might not be in as bad a situation as we're in now so the first lockdown we we didn't go through the door for 70 days and this was the time yeah this was the time when it was like proper i had the news on all the time yeah no one knew what was going on and when they said you could go out doing your hours exercise or whatever to the kids because we have a garden, we weren't hauled up

in like, you know, high rise flat or whatever, you know, god forbid the people who had to do that, that must have been absolutely horrendous especially when you've got kids so we had the garden, but the first time I took them out we had a little, but the first time our two come out, we had a little walk up the road

and my daughter picked a flower up and went to smell it. And I went, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm holding on it and you smell it. And I just thought, what am I doing? That's what having the news on constantly will do to you. All negative. When I took mine out in like March, March and April for the hour, I put them in the buggy and sort of strapped them in,

and they were like, can I pick that stick up? I was like, no, and just, like, marching through. And I was like, this isn't good for them, is it? Like, you know. Exactly. And, you know, you're sort of teaching your kids when you're out and about to get involved in nature and do things, get dirty and all the rest of it. And all of a sudden, you're sort of, like, wrapping them in this bubble.

So I think, for me, what I did, I just sort of turned the news off. Now, I'll have the news on, I'll have a look at it in the morning, and I'll have a look at it in the evening, and that's me. And kind of, you know, so with the kids and what have you, I kind of try and keep life as normal as possible for them. Do they know, are they aware exactly what's happening, or how does it work? Do they know and are they aware exactly what's happening or how does it work?

Yeah, well, you know, there is about as where as a seven-year-old can be. But they are totally kind of, you know, it's amazing with children what they pick up on because when the pandemic first happened, like I said, we're all sort of in bolts in our doors, don't work side, don't do this, don't do that. Me and my wife were obviously talking about it in between and what we're going to do and everything else. And then I remember one day I put my son to bed and he said,

will this virus be gone soon, Daddy? And I was like, it broke my heart actually. God, the innocence of children. And now he asks me regularly now, he'll go, does that mean that coronavirus will be gone soon and what have you you think oh god you know it's just it's a bloody heartbreaker yeah it's hard to know what to say to whether i'm glad they're sort of aware of it i don't get a sense of fear from more it's more inconvenience for kids yeah yeah yeah oh because you know because we know we could all die it's

more like one of the parks opening yeah yeah how's the homeschooling going are you a good teacher at home listen everyone's got different circumstances at home but i can only speak on you know my children are autistic so we have our own different sort of challenges at home and you know when the school go the other day christine pulled this sheet they'd send they posted through it like five a4 sheets with ingredients for loads of different things going we're going to make this on zoom today tomorrow you'll be making this and and they go to a private school as well so it's not like bacon egg and chips it's like it's like lobster herbadon happening it's not happening school so all i i you know everyone's different but for me if they're happy and i kind, we keep on top of things. It's more about the development for me, you know,

socially and what have you. They're very intelligent, so the sort of schoolwork and what have you, they're already advanced in that within their class. But I just kind of thought it's not going to work out for us sitting there doing something they've sent from the curriculum at school and everything else and trying to educate them that it just wouldn't work for us so i kind of like let's forget that yeah let's keep them happy keep them engaged do things with them and and it's worked out all right now like i said they've not been to school all through all the lockdowns and this current lockdown

they weren't at school but they've just started back this week so they do uh three days a week because of their additional needs as well we noticed uh i'm regressing slightly so they start doing things uh that you you worked hard on when they were younger for them to stop doing and they started doing it again like what kind of things things like uh like more meltdowns they'll have a meltdown you know where they'll get for them to stop doing and they started doing it again. Like what kind of things? Things like meltdowns, they'll have a meltdown where they'll get really upset about nothing. They can get quite like they'll fight, physically fight and they'll be being physical with me and being physical with Christine and it's just not them. All this stuff they're aware

of, to a child or anyone with autism, it's magnified a all this stuff this they're aware of you know to a child or anyone with autism it's magnified a million times than to what we'd sort of think and everything else so we noticed these little regressions and and losing the temper quicker and stimming a little bit more which is like things things like stimmies it could be anything from sort of just rocking in your chair or or making humming noises you could be pulling at your jumper there's loads of different things and they were doing that more and it's because the routine had gone out the window you know and that's the most important thing i think with anyone with autism is routine you know once that changes it's a big deal you know so we're kind of we were sort of fortunate that how we are with our children and and because of the job i did

even though no one was working i wasn't stressing about oh god am i going to be working next week is the day coming is it so i could sort of put those worries out my head for the time being when it all happened and I could really sort of focus on keeping them happy at home and everything else and trying to make it out as though

everything were normal which obviously it wasn't you know because even taking them to the park that stopped on the first

in March the parks were closed if you remember you know now it's kind of parks are still open so that's okay so you can still

like I took my youngest to the park the other day and even outdoors I had a mask on anyhow she wasn't aware of anything but again that's another thing

isn't it like which is heartbreaking they're used to you with your mask on now yeah I dropped my youngest

off at nursery she gave me a kiss on my lips but through the mask and I just thought oh no that's tremendous it was just like seeing a film some kind of film

where you don't hug your parents physically anymore you sort of hug them through and that would be like the heartbreaking bit of the film but that's everyone's morning my daughter she bought my she bought my mum, she bought my wife a mask for Christmas.

I was like, what do you want to get her? And she was like, I want to get her a mask. And you're like, bloody hell. I know. And it's,

what's mad about that is, to them, that's totally normal now because that's what they're getting brought up in the midst of. And again, the one thing that keeps me sort of feeling a little bit better is children probably don't get up,

get into the adversity as much, you know what I mean? Everyone's going through to them. It's, it's, it's not an adventure, but it's just, oh,

staying in now. Yeah. They can't really get to grips with the economy and like, well, this guy's not going to be able to, you know, furlough's going to end, guys. They're not on that. They don't give a monkeys. So I suppose that's okay. But, you know, like anyone else,

I can't wait to come out of this bloody shell. Yes. Do they like school? Are your children, they're at a mainstream school, right? Yeah, they like school are your children they're at a mainstream school they love school where we live now because all my mates from Bolton because I live in Cheshire now

you can imagine that I know I live in Cheshire to my mates who still live in Bolton it's like oh here he is Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen neighbours of Michael Owen and he's like, oh, here he is. Lauren Llewellyn Bowen. Neighbours of Michael Owen. Who does that work?

So, kind of like, for me, over here, we spent a lot of time finding schools and that's why we came over here. Yeah. Because there was nothing foreign in Bolton, education-wise wise that satisfied us so we looped far and wide and then we came over here and what we did

we rented for about 12 months just trying to find that school because again that's the thing with kids isn't it that's how your life revolves everything's for your children

so honestly if I hadn't had kids I'd probably still be in Bolton I moved for them and don't get me wrong i've got used to it now you've really put yourself to the sword moving to jessie there's no going back i was talking to more salary waitrose the other day i'm used to it now how do you deal with that though obviously because of your

upbringing and stuff do you still get that from friends and family to give you a bit of stick for you know because your children are going to be so different to you to a point aren't they with the experiences they had in the house and the education and stuff how do you you know rob's desperately seeing into his own life. I know it's just been helped me. It's the help me question. Rob has asked that question in every interview. The absolute panic.

Like my kids, when we were getting this house done, we used to drive up outside the house and look at it from outside and everything else. And the first thing my daughter said is where's the swimming pool and I'm like is that a normal question to ask someone which room of the house

has got the swimming pool this is so far removed from my childhood and said it like totally normal just normal where's the housekeeper living, Daddy? It's just mad, isn't it? You know, that's how it is.

And I think it's difficult when you're brought up with like double nothing. You do have that thing in your head where you think they can have what they want. But then you're aware of you you don't want them to be spoiled or just expecting things. You know what I mean? So we try and, again, I try and, at Christmas, again, just with the artists, and we don't give them loads of presents at once anyway

because it can be too much for them. Yeah. You know, my daughter in particular, my oldest daughter, Penelope, she'll sort of rip open a present, look at it, put it down, and then start ripping it. And it's literally like she will not focus on any toy

until every single present's unwrapped. Oh, really? And she just won't, you know, but you can see it gets, she gets hyped up with it then and what have you. So what we'll do is, and again, it's upsetting. The first one we first started doing it is

because you want your kids coming into like old presents stacked up and everything else but you know it just doesn't work like that for them so for us we sort of we'll put three or four things out for them and they're dead happy they're dead happy with it you know and then sort of later on in that evening we'll bring out another couple and then another couple and we do it like that i mean it's the longest christmas ever me in february now we're getting a present today i'm like that's it it's over kids yeah it's just different traditions isn't it really we're like when they grow up they were like this is what we did as kids and it's just sometimes just a different introducing a new way of doing things as a family.

You know, I remember as a kid, I'm just writing a book at the minute and sort of recalling stuff from my childhood. And I remember as a kid going out into the back street, finding a mattress on the floor. Right. And thinking, that's a decent mattress. Dragging it home to me. house and putting it on my bed. I've had that mattress for six years. Really? Totally normal. You know, I wouldn't even stand on it.

If I stood on it, I'd burn my shoes after. I'd say, set it free. What's been on that mattress? Again, I brought up where we lived. Yeah. Everything was second-hand and that were normal. Like people,

someone had put something out in the back street like, well, they didn't use anymore, like an old wardrobe. And there's always someone going along going, oh, that's all right. I'll have that. You know, honestly, that kind of lie was totally normal.

I mean, this is a mattress. A disused mattress. And if you've thrown it at a mattress, you can imagine what condition it is when you're throwing it at it. I'm not sleeping on that again. So I've been on the back street, probably dogs and all sorts have been on it.

I'm like, fantastic. I'm like, me dragging a mattress home to sleep on it, so my daughter going, which room's the swimming pool in? It's kind of like a bit of a mad thing in life. So for me, getting to the stage now where my daughter's going, where's the swimming pool, where's this, where's that? It kind of, it just, my life sort of happened very,

very slowly getting to those points. And if you're out working, you work hard for it. So it didn't, it doesn't feel kind of any different to me now because it's just slowly happened. Yeah, it's sort of sneaked up on you. Yeah, it's like you've got long hair on a part of your body. You go, oh, is that grown back? What does that come from? Oh, look, that must have, that took a while to grow that.

Yeah. You only see it when it's that long. How do the kids deal with your schedule then? Because obviously they're right there routine, but with you filming Top Gear and all the shows you do, you're off all over the place. Are they a bit oblivious to it?

No, I mean, that has its own stresses. Again, you know what it's like uh you two with touring and what happened uh you're away a lot now luckily for me that all stopped years ago so i don't have to worry about that but i still overnight when we're filming and when you're doing top gear like before the pandemic happened you know with wherever you are bloody nepal or something you know you're there for a week and it's like you're constantly on the phone and seeing

how they are and everything else. And it took us a long time to get them where they're comfortable with all that. Yeah. And then the pandemic happened. So I'm like at home 24 seven. So then they back used to that. And now we're going to be, when we all come out of this, there'll be times when we're off again, you know,

because we'll all end up traveling again and everything else you know probably 2022 once everything's sort of ironed out and the world will be back to some kind of normality but uh and then i'll have to sort of start working on getting them used to me being away again yeah consider it when you're taking jobs and stuff totally so i used to I used to, back in the day, when we sort of realised there was something with the kids and then we got the autism diagnosis, we never told anyone for a while because we were sort of dealing with it ourself. And then what I found myself doing was,

my agent would go, you know, whatever, we've got this job here, fantastic job, we need you to go here and here. And I'd be like, I don't fancy it. And they're like, what do you mean you don't fancy it? It's not for me. And I found myself doing that a lot. Yeah.

And, you know, friends would say, oh, we're having a night out, and I'll go out, I'm busy or whatever. So that happened for a long time. Even now, every job I think about it's like I got asked oh god

about four years ago to do take me out in Australia obviously it'd been relocating over there you'd be there for like

you know a month month two months and then you know anyone else would say

oh that's fantastic but to me I was like you can't do it you know it's just not work for oh, that's fantastic. But to me, I was like, you can't do it. You know, it's just not going to work for the kids. Anyhow, Flintoff did the pilots. Of course he did. Hilarious.

He didn't get commissioned, obviously. But, like, hello, welcome to Take Me Out. Get a bit more flow there fred you know and then it went to america and then there were talks of doing it over there and you know again some people have that ambition to sort of go to america and do a career over there but for me i always thought i'm comfortable I'm happy enough at all but the kids definitely took me out of that mindset of going off doing more things you know either and and that was another big consideration as mad as it sounds when Top Gear came along because it was a massive gig and it was a gig where you know a lot of people have bloody give the right arm to

to do the job and my first thing, where are we going to be going? And that was my question. And I was sat with Claire, the exec producer, and I could see her looking at me going, I'm literally offering him one of the best gigs. How long are we going to be away? Because I'm not sure about this. But these are the things, you know.

It's great having that lifestyle, but everyone's got a home life as well you've got to kind of make sure that's that's happy which is the most important thing i was gonna say i think that's so so admirable though then i think that's why people love you so much it's because it's you're so true and authentic with that and people can see that even if you're not directly saying it you get that warmth from you and i think it makes such a massive difference when you're trying to connect with people I think um with anything tv wise or anything we do in front of a live audience you know what like the pickup on things very quickly there's only so much sort of

blagging you can do and pretending you are someone you're not and and that's that and I think when I'm on tv or I'm doing anything I I'm kind of myself, but obviously ramps up about 50-50% more. Yeah. I don't want to run around the house going, let the breakfast see the ball. Yeah, so everyone does that, don't they? Everyone's got to... Beckett actually has to turn himself down 50% for TV.

Yeah, I'd be totally unacceptable. Yeah, it's a nightmare for Lou. Especially when we try to home school him. All these fucking numbers and words and you feel like, Rob, just leave the room. Let me do this. Where were you two in your career when your kids come along? So, my daughter's

three. So I was kind of just three years. So I was doing TV but I did my first tour with her around when she was about two and that was uh a blessed relief if i'm honest with you paddy but yeah i was i was doing a lot of work i remember because she was late and we would do it was during the series of the last Leg. And I remember every Friday, there was two Fridays we went through.

And I was at The Last Leg waiting for this call at any moment. Also, fully aware that I'd surrender my fee if we didn't go ahead. So I'm thinking, I really don't want to take this call. Hold it in for another hour. Come on, don't call me at 8pm on a Friday. You know what's mad about that, Josh? I swear to God, when my twins are born, that's exactly the same thing happened to me.

I was doing a live Saturday night TV show I'd signed on to, and my wife was literally due any day to give birth, and I'm thinking, please God, give birth on a Sunday, all week, and I'm back on telly on Saturday, because I'm thinking, it's a lot of money kids will appreciate it when they get a bit older so and that's kind of what happened was so she had the twins I did the full week at home then I went straight back to work you know well straight kind of doing the show and what have you. And it's funny, even though what we do for a job is kind of not the norm as such,

but every single parent, no matter what they do, has them same thoughts. Yeah. In our job, you have the time off. No one's giving you maternity pay. No. And also, if you are in a company or an office job, you're worried that someone else will get that promotion while you're away if you've got time off. And it's even worse for women you know because they physically

can't go back to work where i went back i went back to work like two days after my first was born um to do taskmasters because i was at that point in my career where i just started getting offered lots of telly stuff and it's like right i've got to establish myself so i couldn't say no to stuff and i was i hadn't slept and then the task was get to this microwave. And I just rolled in goose shit. I had to roll in this goose shit. And as I was doing it, I just felt so weak and vulnerable.

And I was like, this is not what you should be doing. Day two of your kid's life. Rolling in goose shit. Also, if ever a show, Alex Horne's going to let you move it, mate.

I know, but I was so scared at that point. If I did turn up, basically your imposter syndrome goes, well, if you don't turn up, they're all going to get rid of you because you're not reliable and you're lazy and all that kind of stuff. You're not willing to do Taskmaster two days after your child's born. You're not showbiz, mate. You're not allowed in. Exactly.

I didn't want to say, when he was saying that anecdote, I was going to say that's not what the level I was worrying about to be honest as well for me I remember like what you were just saying about imposter syndrome

and thinking oh I've got to be a bit you know try this and try that I want to be successful I remember that year Ant and Dec won an NTA and it was the year

when Ant wasn't even on TV and I remember sitting there going well if they and Dec won an NTA and it was the year when Ant wasn't even on TV. And I remember sitting there going, well, if they're still winning an NTA and he's not actually done the job, what are we all stressing about? If you don't win an NTA, it's not a big deal, is it? I haven't even been on telly. Do your kids watch your TV, Paddy?

My son loves cars yeah so i talked to him about cars quite a lot and different cars and we go to little car shows this is before top gear came along so now he's aware i do top gear uh when we first ever took him on a flight i think they were probably five year old or something like something like that. Was this your first holiday? I think I saw it. You went to Peppa Pig World, is that right? To trial them out on a shorter journey. First ever holiday, Southampton.

That was our first holiday. And you flew? Yeah, because it was just the logistics of taking the three kids on that car journey yeah getting a traffic jam or anything happens it's just it was easier weirdly enough to get them on that flight which was like 35 minutes and and that wasn't that was a long time building up to that yeah that wasn't just like let's go on holiday let's go somewhere I mean that was like years in the planning you know again what planes are all about and so we had the little like ear defenders on

and stuff and it was great but when we were flying he looked out and he and he there was like a big multi-story car full of tons of cars he went oh is that top gear there daddy yeah I think oh god you know he's picking it up now so yeah when we do outlandish stuff like on Top Gear

like when we do like the big ice cream van or we do these big builds and the like kind of you know these weird and wonderful vehicles we come up with

kids love anything like that anyhow yeah so them if he wants to watch anything like that I put them episodes on and I just fast forward to them little bits. He doesn't want to see us talk in his studio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't want to see a big cow and massive wheels like most kids. So he's aware of it. My daughters kind of, you know, they're aware of it, but they never really mention anything. So it's dead chilled, really. And how was it having twins, first of all? What was your gut reaction when you found out it was twins well it was it was a weird thing because at the time i remember they do the scanning you see a heartbeat and you're like oh oh amazing i'm in tears my

wife's in tears the nurse is in tears and then she oh hang on a minute there's another heartbeat and i'm like they're in tears and i'm still in tears, but for the wrong reason. I mean, I'm thinking, oh my God. But because having twins straight off the bat was like a bit of a baptism of fire. When we had a third child, Felicity, who wasn't planned at all. Felicity came around because I remember

it was Christmas. It was Christmas Eve. And my wife said, my mum's coming staying with us from tomorrow. This is what it's like in marriage. Talk about romance. Shall we just have a shag tonight and get it out the way?

Because that'll be it for Christmas. Oh, okay. Like, it's amazing how things change. I was like, yeah, come on, let's get it out the way. And she got pregnant with Felicity. So when Felicity were born, it was literally, I'm not going to say it was a doddle, but compared to twins, it was so easy, you easy you know and again that sort of thing about when

you've had children before and at first when you have kids you're like literally everything's got to be spotlessly clean and test that food at the right temperature when felicity come along it was like just give her any old shit know, all that warming the oven up first when you read the packet. Warm the oven up to 180 degrees. It's like,

just get it in. With the first, we always try to make the house tidy every evening. Now, after the second, we just clear a path.

Oh. That's how good we can move through. Literally. When I was looking for my iPad this morning before we did this, I was in our bedroom and I just looped round and I was like...

And this house, we were all, you know, trying to get it really nice and all these nice things and I was like, it is a shit hole. I did. This room, I mean, now is like an office and it's all upside down in here because I'm not... It's not... This is like... As long as the kids' rooms are gone, we're happy.

I thought everything else would do as we go along. But yeah, I think no matter how much you think, no, we're dead. It's like the living room, got a couch in there and a telly and what have you. And we were like, right, this is the one room the kids aren't going to go in. And meanwhile, we're going to make a pact. We're not having it anymore. We're not having another couch. In this room, room is just for us

literally last night we were all on the coach they were eating chocolate they had YouTube on and I'm like you try don't you but it just doesn't work kids rule everything what you try and put in place

they just overcome all that and that's that you know you say like they like like routine and stuff does that make stuff like bedtime and stuff does that mean that they're kind of into that and that makes that easier yeah with the twins we got real lucky they didn't sleep at first we used to be up all night, every night. And in the end, we were going to have to do something about this. And we got one of these sleep experts in, and this lady came to our house, stayed for a week. And in the end, what work was an app? What cost ATP? So, we made all that money didn't work and then someone said

play on this noise on this app it's like a white noise kind of thing 89p done oh and split them up so because they were in

they were both in cots they were in the same room so split them up put this app on at night time under the cots instantly done wow

like that and then they used to sleep really well and it was only my youngest now Felicity who's kind of got us back to

not much sleep again as they get older the kids you know what it's like with kids you try and keep them off iPads and all these things and games and what have you

but again when you're stressed and you're at home you're like and they want it you just go right stab it play on it

whatever you know what I mean so Leo and Penelope you just go right stab it play on yeah whatever you know what i mean uh so leo and penelope in the evening now they'll they'll go on like uh they have a little one of these kindle pad things and they'll go on um minecraft or roblox or something like that for for an hour with with each other and they're sort of both on the same game, even though they're on different devices. But my youngest, we're lucky if she goes to bed at 12 o'clock, that's considered an early night for us. Wow, and what time are they getting up? Leo and Penelope are sort of up, get up now,

it can be between seven and eight. But Felicity, what she's doing is she's doing the really late nights but then giving it we're dragging her out of bed in the morning because we're trying to wake her up yeah we're like we'll like try and get her up because she's not at school she's at nursery so we'll be sort of like you know nine o'clock going luke come on is she still jet lagged from southampton she's still got jet lag so so again for us and for us again people have that sort of image don't they about in the job we do that we all sort of live this wonderful life and you know i think

when you watch a lot of reality tv which is skewed one way life isn't like that and even reality tv is all half it's bloody scripted so we do everything by ourselves we've got one lady who who's come on board as support worker for us now but that's only a few mornings a week so kind of we do it ourselves so we find ourselves like pretty much permanently tired um but it's that's just being a parent in it't it? That's what you do. I remember seeing something when Simon Cole had his son and talking about, oh, he doesn't even think about doing, he's never done a nappy ever.

And I kind of think you've got to earn your parents in stripes. You've got to do that. You've got to get the shit under your fingernails and covered in piss and everything else and spew and what have you. And if you don't do that you've never kind of fully embraced the whole thing no and i think it pays off when your

kids are like young adults and teenagers and when they're grown up that way if you have put those hard yards in and you have done it then they know that they respond to that and you have that bond you know where i think sometimes if you just sort of hand them over to someone it's just sort of like another stranger in your house really totally that and I feel as though as a person it makes you stronger as well because of all that stuff you've been through I mean when you've eaten a sandwich with human shit under your fingernail you can pretty much tackle anything can't you like you you sort of you you've've, nothing's a problem anymore. Yeah.

That was one of your tasks on Taskmaster, wasn't it, right? Yeah, it was good shit though, luckily for me. And a human sandwich. And that's why,

when you watch I'm a Celebrity get me out of here, you know, like the eating trials and all the horrible things, you know, you see all the young ones

on there that are trying to like start their career and they're like, ah, and you just see like a mum or and they're like, ah, ah, and you just see like a mum or a dad just like, just give me the snake.

Just give me the snake. Do what you want. I'm just happy to be lying down. I don't care what you chuck on me. There is a real difference. It's like all the older ones just kind of like, whatever,

just give it to me kind of thing. But there's a show, you watch that show and I think, fucking, who in their right mind is doing that? No way on God's green earth

you'd be putting me in a cage with a load of fucking snake shit and piss all wrapped around me. I'd carry on, but... You didn't go to Australia for Take Me Out. You're not going to go there to do that, are you?

Exactly. Exactly. You know, each to their own, I suppose. um rob you've got a question you always like to ask yeah so this is um a opportunity for you if there's something that frustrates you about your partner's like christine's parenting that you couldn't say to her about being a big row but it's a fair comment is there something that she does maybe that frustrates you that you've not had the the sort of time to bring up?

If she did listen back to you, she'd go, fair enough. I think for me, it's more yesterday the football was on. And I've never watched a football game on the TV for full 90 minutes. It's like little glimpses I get because we just can't have the football on. Because again, they have to have the football on because again they have to have the certain programmes on

the like and that's that but the other day I sort of just had 10 minutes watching this game I don't know

what it is but she sort of has an ability to make things sound more than what they are so it'll be like

if she's in the kitchen with her children and she's just done them some toast it'll be like, if she's in the kitchen with her children and she's just done them some toast, it'll be like, oh, you all right sat there? No, I'm in the kitchen.

I've got the plates out of the cupboard. I put them down and then what I did, I got the bread and then I buttered it and then I cut the crust off, you know,

while you were sat there and then I give it to them and then I put the thing up and they're like, you made some toast. The way you're doing it, I think I wish I had that skill to sort of really elaborate on things

that make it seem like they're massive. Yeah. So probably that gets on me. I think that's a good answer. Well, what do you think Christine would say about you? I mean, we can get on the show. After listening to this, she might want to get on here and say her side. What do you reckon she'd say about you? I mean, we can get on the show. After listening to this, you might want to get on here and say her side. But what do you reckon she'd

say about you? Is there anything that... She'd definitely say I'm too soft with the kids. Again, when I go back to this kind of like presents and toys and what have you, I sort of... When they're on these games, on the pads, they'll have a little thing on it where you have to buy stuff, you know, when they're playing these games. So it's like a quid here, four quid there and what have you. And I'll constantly be doing that for them. You can't keep doing that.

You can't just keep getting them things. And she's right. But in my head, again, I kind of think, well, why not? Let's just do it you know but the little things is what is what my wife

pulls me up on with stuff like you know like three quid things here and there and what have you but like your other acts

there'll be a list as long as you're out monthly you know what I mean and vice versa we could go on and on and on, but I'm aware she might listen to this.

Paddy, you've been amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Paddy. We've had so many requests for you, especially from parents with children with additional needs and stuff. And I think the platform and talking about it, and Christine does loads as well,

and you also raise loads of money at your charity balls as well for autism and stuff and it's incredible so you know you should be proud of that it's so impressive you know you kind of do your bit and what have you but we're just actually doing a documentary at the minute on autism and it'll be

it's on BBC One but I'm not sure if it'll be on at the end of this year or next year so hopefully other parents because for me myself as a parent with children with additional needs you can feel a little bit everyone else is having a really good time apart from me do you know what i mean and when i see other people in the same situation or when you see other people in a weird perverse way worse off than you

you kind of go oh well at least I'm not dealing with that and weirdly it makes you feel a little bit better or you go oh I'm not on my own with this so kind of like I felt doing a documentary about the condition and about how we deal with things and everything else

will hopefully people will watch it and go, God, if he's going through that, then I shouldn't be ashamed or worried about getting help in or whatever. He's on telly and he's got money and he's this, that and the other, you know. So he shouldn't have all those worries. But I do. And the money doesn't always sort it out, as you said.

It doesn't do anything. That's that, you know. But I think it's just important for as much information as you can get out there about anything like that. It's a help. So, you know, that'll be on, like I say, it'll be later this year.

Oh, brilliant. That's great. That's brilliant. I need to say thank you because I remember doing warm-up on a panel show you're on I think it was an ITV one with Reece Darby about around the world and you was a team captain years and years ago and I was the warm-up I know that I hosted you host yeah yeah and I was having an absolute howler as a warm-up and you come over and you were so nice to me and said you're doing really well keep going and stuff like that so I still remember. So thanks for looking after me. That was a tough day.

What you didn't see is I walked over to the producer and I was like, get rid of him. Yeah. Luckily, the series didn't get recommissioned. So it didn't have to come to fruition. Paddy, thank you so much. Thanks a lot. Cheers. Thanks, mate.

Paddy McGuinness there. Do you know. Cheers, mate. Paddy McGuinness there. Do you know what? I absolutely love Paddy McGuinness. That was brilliant. I've never met him before. You've never met him? He's so lovely. Two things with that.

Rob, I don't move in those circles, Rob. I know you Christmas together. Paddy McGuinness is one of the nicest people I've ever met in this industry. And he's so genuine and you can tell from that it was so nice for me as the warm up

he didn't need to be and I was shit as well and he wasn't aware that I might be good at other stuff I was just a bloke being shit

and he'd come up to me and was nice to me and you can tell how much that his family and his kids dominate his life and I think that's so so nice.

Also I should say it's the loosest neck I've ever seen on anyone Rob. What a loose neck he's so chill relaxed he's I should say, it's the loosest neck I've ever seen on anyone, Rob. Ah, what a loose neck. He's so chill and relaxed. He's open. He doesn't care what people think about him.

You know? But, you know, he is willing to make stiff neck decisions. Do you know what I mean? He's got a loose neck but, you know, it's not good for the kids.

I won't go to Australia. Do you know what I mean? I think that's really interesting because it just transforms your life. I think that must... Kids transform it just transforms your life I think that must have kids transform your life we go oh god we can't go out drinking till you know

1am but he's going I can't do this job I have to you know every decision comes back to that and no point was he complaining in his tone it was like so we couldn't do that. It wasn't like, oh, I really want to do this.

Or it was like, oh, we had to go to Southampton on holiday and I wanted to go to wherever. It's none of it, which I think is so key because kids will pick up on that. So if you weren't going, oh, we can't go here because of their needs and stuff, they would pick up on that. And I think the way he does it is so genuine

and so well delivered. Yeah. And the stuff he does for the documentary about autism he's doing and the autism charity ball they do raises so much money for charity so it's i think it's really really impressive so i'm glad i'm really happy we managed to get him i thought yeah it's so fascinating i think what's interesting also is you just think about like that is right when he says in your head you've got this vision of being a parent where the christmas tree's got loads of presents underneath

and all that kind of stuff. It's different, but you just, you have to kind of accept that these things aren't. Embrace it, yeah. Yeah, embrace the way these things aren't. And here I am going, bloody hell, that bike didn't go down as well as I thought. Yeah.

That's your own problem. The poor old Paddy's not had a good night's sleep since he dragged that mattress into his bed from the street. Anyway, we hope to try and get Christine on the show as well. That would be good to hear from Christine as well. Brilliant. Well, that was Paddy McGuinness

and we'll speak to you guys next time. See you later. Bye.