Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP30: "I can't deal with the passing of time..."

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL'S02 EP30: "I can't deal with the passing of time..."More misadventures in parenting and beyond...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell.

The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello, and you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Phoebe, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdicombe. Josh Wigglyworm. Josh Wigglyworm. I got rodded off there. Did she rod me off?

Yeah. You don't hear of many rods these days, do you? No. Rodney's a tough name for a kid, isn't it? Yeah. Rodney Beckett. Rod Stewart. Rodney Stewart.

How was he so cool? I don't know if he was, was he? Yes. Was he? Come on. Rod Stewart wasn't cool. Fucking hell, mate. He was an animal for it.

Was he? With that feathered mullet? Mate, back in the day that was he was cool rob i mean you you ever go with me for my old references you're talking about how cool rod stewart was back in the day yeah but that's that's not a reference i'm not saying he's cool now i'm just saying he had his time and he was cool weren't he when he's in the faces yeah i'm not saying he wasn't cool but i didn't realize you were such a big rod stew fan. Do you know what? I am a huge Rod fan. Are you?

My parents are obsessed with Rod Stewart. They absolutely love him. Were they? Yeah, and it was so funny, actually, because when I hosted the Royal Variety performance, clang, Rod Stewart was supposed to be headlining, but he couldn't do it because he was unwell. And then when I told my mum, she was devastated. And then my dad went, do you still want to go? I was like, I'm hosting it. Amazing.

Yeah, but I'm a huge Rod Sturt fan. I think he's great live. Have you seen him? I saw him, I took my parents to see him live at the O2 and he was quality, still put on a great show. He did do a song where I think it was like for war veterans. I think the song like for war veterans. I think the song was about war veterans.

And there was all sorts of pictures of war veterans. And then he just slipped in a photo of him getting a knighthood. Unbelievable. Which I just sort of thought, yeah, it's good. Yeah, well done. I think he's deserved it. But did he do it? He did it in a serious way. He didn't do it in a way where like, you know,

when someone's like, oh, don't know how that got in there. He didn't do that gag. No, he didn't do that joke. Picture himself barbecuing with no no clothes on behind his apron maybe i got it wrong but i didn't remember seeing loads of like sort of like soldiers and stuff and then him and i was like oh but yeah love a bit of rod stewart and he was cool back in his day i think i think you yeah i mean i think he's still quite cool now i it doesn't surprise me that you've been to see Rod Stewart. He feels like the kind of person I could imagine you going to see at the O2

and absolutely loving. My parents, it's great because he's had a new album come out and it's all like, oh, I love his music. My mum would go, I love it. It's like he tells a story. There's one about him on Brighton Beach when he met a girl. It's beautiful. It's that poetry of music. And I was like, yeah love it. It's like he tells a story. There's one about him on Brighton Beach when he met a girl. It's beautiful. It's that poetry of music.

And I was like, yeah, it's a song. Do you know what? I think poetry is the biggest blag in entertainment. Is it entertainment? I don't know what you call it. The arts? I'm going to say it. Go on.

I don't know. I don't know if I buy that you've ever seen a poet. Right. I'll tell you what I've seen. Excluding Tim Key. Tim Key, right? Tim Key's not a poet. He's a comedian and he just does short jokes.

He's a comedian that uses poetry. Yeah, I think Tim Key's funny in any situation as well. Yeah, he's just one of the funniest people that exists in the world. I'm going to say it. If I had a Rob Beckett bingo card and someone said, what two things do you think you'll tick off in the first four minutes i just said i wouldn't have been surprised at seeing rod stewart the o2 and don't like poetry i'd say that that is absolutely no i like poetry right i'm just

saying it's easy it's comedy about jokes at the end isn't it basically right so what i'm saying is proper poetry when you see a proper poem right back in the day yeah that's great back in the day when poetry was bloody poetry yeah and they had something to moan about properly they're in a war or something like that right and then tim key uses poetry well because he's doing comedy a little bit what i don't like is when you just see someone just like in a pair of jeans and a scruffy t-shirt ranting into a mic called poetry and they're like some sort of social warrior it's just out of fucking shit i could do that i don't know who this is rob name names i've seen them on the circuit they crop up we've done the open mic circuit mate you have to sit for a pile of shit

before you get a go it's a nightmare let's be honest rob we were both a pile of shit in those days oh yeah i was dog shit for so long some people won't think i've changed at all but yeah there was people that were dog shit that changed at all but yeah there was people that were dog shit that were getting better and then there were people that dog shit that were getting worse was was the bleakest when you'd see someone and then you see them six months later and they'd say they gigged every night and they were doing the exact same set that just wasn't working i'll be honest occasionally i text james acaster the names of people we used to do the open mic you're the biggest gossip in the industry there's no gossip there's no gossip it's just me say here's

a name do you remember them how depressed do you feel now what annoyed me was when you'd be in a gig with 18 people and 15 of them were school friends of the terrible comedian and they laughed everything and i'd sit in the back line but it's not funny you're just laughing at your friend because you feel guilty anyway we got to our parenting Josh how's your week been what's going on let's I've done Rod Stewart we've done poetry got some bad news we've got some bad news oh no what's happened it's been good so the podcast yeah awful for the podcast the awful news for the podcast Rob really in quite a good place with it all. You had a terrible week before, though, didn't you? Yeah, but do you know what?

It was a scare, though. We spoke about the scare. What was the scare? The COVID scare. Oh, my God, yeah. So that was tense. So Rose hasn't been able to taste anything for a week. Yeah.

She still can't taste. I came into contact with someone who'd had COVID, who I can't say who it is. No, of course not um and so i had to get a test and if i'd failed that test i.e if i'd got covid we would have been locked down until the day before due date oh all of you as well because the whole family well no actually rob i'd have been allowed out three days earlier because i was the one who had it but they were you get the next three days yeah you're all right in who had it. But you get to do it next to three days.

You're all right in here with a kid, yeah? Two days away from... I've only got three more days freedom, so I'm going to hit the pub. We were both negative. So that was good. Thank God for that. Thank God for that. That's good. But that would have been an absolute disaster.

So I was a bit ill at the start of the week. I was ill at the start of the week. Yeah. But things have really picked up in that my daughter's really uh in a much more positive place i'd say okay yeah yeah so is she at your mom's house lovely bit of business yeah it's a sort of a you know you've just got to put a puppet in there and now and again do a joke yeah i suppose well suppose. Well, do you know what, Rob? She is a fan of yours, Rob, my daughter.

What is she watching that I do? She watches the videos you do with Tom Allen where you jump over puddles. Yep, she's a fan of that, sure. And then she's seen the occasional picture of you come up on the, you know when the Sky Planner pushes a TV programme? Oh, yep, yep. So occasionally it'll be was it the episode of 50 greatest plastic surgery shockers oh yeah but i thought it was unfair that you only

made the top 20 on that one rob you know when when you when you first start trying to sell a tour show you have to put on all your tv credits so ideally it's not the week live at the Apollo and stuff like that but at the start i had 50 greatest plastic surgery shockers and someone actually said to me so what number did you get was it the teeth no I was doing witty banter on it I wasn't in the list um so anyway we were watching tv the other day yeah and she said that's Rob and it wasn't you Rob Rob. Oh, no. Do you want to know who it was? Who was it? Dion Dublin. Dion Dublin? She was saying Dion Dublin.

What is it? The spider? I don't know, Rob. I was surprised. I am into brass instruments, like Dion. And you're into upselling properties, are you? I'm really not into upselling properties. I find that the conversation of, we bought this house for 200 grand,

now it's worth 300 grand. That conversation people love to have, one of the most annoying conversations ever because it's totally redundant unless you're going to take all that money out and live on the street because you're going to have to buy another house that's also gone up by that amount.

So it's a constant chasing your tail, sort of dick swinging. Well, I'll play this to her so that she can tell that you and Dion Dublin are different people. Okay, sorry. I don't need to go this hard on your daughter about my opinions on the property market.

Well, no, no, no, no. You know, she's a fan of you and she's a fan of Dion Dublin. What can you say? Is this because I feel like you are ready to take the step into the suburbs. Now there's another baby on the way. You're watching property programs.

You keep messaging me about zone five. Well, you know that I've, I have messaged you about. So I'd say once every two months, I consider the move into the, into the burbs. Yep. And we went to the park last weekend, Rob. And I'm going to say it. It was too intense. i'm gonna say it it was too intense it was too intense what happened it was too intense you know the park with the soviet union style slides that i've shown

you before yep yep yep at the weekends in victoria park the big slides park it's a bit lively victoria park it is unbearable that park at the weekends it weekends. So the queue for those big slides is 20 deep. It's like going to fucking Alton Town. 20 deep. 20 kids. Leave it. That's because there's nothing for kids to do in East London. All you've got's the park.

Rob, I'm trying to upsell my house here, mate. Okay, sorry. How's the mice problem? And the slugs? The plumbing? No, no. Let's just be very clear on that. It's all sorted.

It's great, isn't it? It's not all sorted because it was never not sorted. By the house. It's a beautiful house. But we're not selling it at the moment. No, you're not selling it. Okay. The park was too much.

It just wasn't too busy. So there's kids. Rob, I'm sure. I mean now you grew up in southeast london but what were your what were your did you go to the park once as a kid um i i i don't remember going loads when i was really little but i went to the wreck it was called loads from when i was old enough to go out on my own we used to play football down there so i'd go there all the time but um yeah i'd go to the park a bit when I was a kid. There's some

great parks down in South London though. Newbarn Park. This is a lovely park, Rob. The problem is it's too busy. It's too busy, Rob. Josh, it's not a lovely park because it is too busy. You can't hire the

parker. Every park's lovely if no one's in it. Oh yeah, it's lovely park monday to friday let's put it that way monday to friday it's absolutely beautiful and then you got all the guilty parents haven't seen their kids all week four boys ran in front of us in the queue for the slide yeah and then threw stones and sand down the slide to speed it up oh no oh right see i'd want to step in then. Yeah, but what can you do, Rob? You're too far back. Probably in East London like that,

you might get involved in a gang war. Do you know what I mean? I think a gang war involves two gangs, Rob. I could only get involved in a gang attacking a private citizen. Yeah, you could be attacked by a gang. Yeah, that's what you mean. What happened?

They just threw stones down the slide. Stones and... Have you seen how fast kids go on the slide when they put sand on it? It's like cool runnings. It's fucking insane. I've never seen sand be thrown on a slide before. No, neither had I, Rob.

This is a new thing. So what did you... Because it's weird in East London. There's lots of middle-class sort of people that have done a right for themselves, have bought a nice house, and then there'll also be 15 families in one house renting. So there's a very different vibe.

These kids' parents weren't anywhere to be seen, Rob. And I think there should be a maximum age on slide. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but then who's enforcing that? Well, certainly not me. But these kids were probably 14. Come, of course. Yeah, but then who's enforcing that? Well, certainly not me. But these kids were probably 14. Come on.

Oh, mate, no. I'm not going anywhere near a 14-year-old in East London. They could do what they want. I don't know. Was I talking about this to you the other day

or someone else? Oh, no, I was talking about with Charlie Baker, wasn't I? I do think I could get beaten up by a 12-year-old quite comfortably. Yeah, I think you probably could.

Yeah, so I don't want to get involved in that. Especially when their cousins turn up, tooled up. I think you could get beaten up by a 12-year 12 year old i wouldn't be surprised to see that as one of your tv credits on your next tour i had a bit of a nightmare at the weekend josh um so well first of all my kids are just turning into like sassy teenagers, but only five and three. Oh, no, Rob. How old are they?

Five and three? Five and three. Yeah, I ate prawns in the front, not in the front room, but like in the kitchen area. And my three-year-old went, Daddy, why does my nose smell poo? And that was the prawns that I was eating. And they said I was disgusting. Oh, for a minute, I thought the prawns had gone off, Rob. No, that's just how prawns smell.

I've not eaten off prawns, but sometimes I do think if I'm eating a prawn it's a bit off yeah do you think Rob I've got this feeling the way your daughter's talked to you yeah I think you're going to become the victim in this household do you know what it feels like it feels like I'm breeding middle class people and even though they're I'm the dad and I've sort of like contributing quite a lot to all the bills I feel like I'm gonna have to sort of build a little building a little room that I'm the dad and I've sort of like contributed quite a lot to all the bills. I feel like I'm going to have to sort of build a little building, a little room that I go in like for staff. And I just sort of drive them around like a sort of My Fair Lady type character. Just sort of like driving around with the kids that tell me off all the time. Are you thinking, what can you do to win them over?

I don't want to go too big on this. Have they completely lost respect for you? The eye rolling suggests so. The eye rolling? The hand on the hip and eye rolling suggests so the eye rolling the hand on the hip and eye rolling oh my word it's getting well out of hand and oh rob when was in hobbycraft earlier i just surrendered it basically turned into supermarket sweep the amount of i think i did 15 quid on stickers oh rob you're trying to buy them off you just can't i'm buying them off that's what i'm doing you're a respected member of the TV community, Rob.

Well, I tell you what, I'm not. I'm not respected. I think I got profiled in Waitrose. Oh, yeah? Keep talking. Because I go to Waitrose and I don't fit in there, really. I've got like my big, you see now, I dress like a road man. I've got a Paris Saint-Germain coach jacket on, which you gave me shit for.

Which, well, bad week to be wearing that, but yes. Yeah, exactly. Terrible. I've got a Paris Saint-Germain coach jacket on. Yeah. Which you gave me shit for. Which, well, bad week to be wearing that, but yes. Yeah, exactly. Terrible. I'll tell you what though, the clientele that frequent weight trades aren't really

on top of the Champions League results. No, no. They're all sort of big-bellied Six Nations bastards. They clocked in for a little bit of debate about the European Super League.

They're just shuffling around cotton traders head to toe. Anyway, so I'm in there and I like it. You get a little scanner, yeah? Have you had to scan a thing? No, but I presume you just walk around scanning your stuff as you go, right? Yeah, it's a dream, right?

So you go in there, you press a little button, you get your scanner, you scan it all, then you go to like a self-serve thing, and then you pay and then you leave. You don't have to see anyone. You can pack as you go. Anyway, I got to the end, random re-scan check. So now it's a queue up, cure unload all the shopping get it scanned by someone then load it back up oh my god what is the point and then i started turning into a bit

of a karen and i started going what is the point of this system if you don't have trust and then it turned into i was like but where's the trust i'm like talking to like a 16 year old like he doesn't give a shit or know what's going on and i could you know when you feel yourself becoming a karen and you're like stop being a karen oh god you're a chilled out comedian you love a laugh but i don't want to pack my bags again and i was like and i was like i know it's not you you don't make the decisions and all that and i was like shut up that decision yeah but not the person on the checkout that's having to deal with it all they went we'll help you pack right they got my bag they put eggs in first what kind of sicko puts eggs in that is just like

a child wouldn't put eggs in like if you got if you trained like you know when they do like in the 80s they did mad tests for chimpanzees a chimpanzee before training wouldn't put an eggs in first of course he wouldn't it was men's eggs in first anyway so but they were all lovely and apologetic but i was just like don't i just didn't want a random rescan josh like what's the point that's like getting you know when your bag gets pulled at customs the absolute heartbreak you know when you know when it it takes the left turn out of the uh machine thing i find it's too tense rob i'm thinking have i have i got a kilo of heroin that i forgot about did i not scan that bag of Coke that I just got in wage? But then I was like, oh my God, what if I've not scanned it properly?

Oh, yeah, well, exactly. Were you thinking this could all go wrong? All I could think was Anthony Warrell Thompson. Yeah, Richard Madeley. Did he do it as well? Yeah, he got done. Sometimes they're just like the buzz of theft, don't they? Those sort of celebs like that.

It's the only way to feel alive, Rob. That's what you'd be telling the press. I just wanted to feel alive again. I just wanted to go back to my roots. I think if a story came out in the press that you had got caught stealing a 240 box of PG Tips tea bags from Waitrose, the main damage to your reputation

would be that you'd been to Waitrose. Yes, I think that would be the big problem. And PG Tips, surely I'm a Yorkshire tea man. Well, of course, yeah. I do think that would be the big problem. And PG tips. Surely I'm a Yorkshire Sea man. Well, of course, yeah. I do think that would be more damaging than theft. Nothing as nice as PG tips in the Beckett household. Yeah, but a bit of theft might bring up the old street cred again. Do you know what I mean?

It's sort of a self-serving way. I'd say the use of the word street cred is probably where your problem is, Rob. Do you know what? Now I've had a rescan random, I'm going to thieve next time because it's unlikely I'll get two rescans in a row. Of course, you're not going to get gunned twice, are you? I'm never going to get random rescan twice in a row.

So now for me, it's hunting season. I'm going at it. Not that you're going to do this, obviously, or you'd recommend, okay, you are going to do this. No, okay, I'm not. Well, do I have to say so I don't get in trouble? Yeah, obviously I'm not. Obviously I'm i'm joking if you were not that we're telling people to steal but obviously you are going to do this if you were going to do this

yeah what item do you think you'd have the best chance of stealing rob what highest value but you've got to get away with it i would not that you want to do this okay obviously i'm not going to do this this is what this would be my plan, yeah? I would, a couple of ways. I would get something that I multiple things of. So I scan two of them, but put four in and go, oh, maybe I didn't scan it enough. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Or what I might do is get something that's quite high value and just scratch the barcode a bit. And then go, oh, maybe that's why I didn't scan because the barcode wasn't working. Yes. There are my ways out. But I tell you what, I would nick, right? because it pissed me off in there yeah like it's expensive atrocious but the food's nice right so i don't i don't mind it lou let us where lou wants to go and it's our treat that we go there right yeah sometimes go mark spencer as well and not judging you we go basics at sainsbury's which is still a little bit flashy let's face it anyway so i was there you sound like boris johnson trying to clear up this john lewis quote yeah well i was walking through tinfoil in waitrose is spenny yeah

is it how much is tinfoil exactly back oh four whatever right but you get the waitrose one it's always a bit more and they're sneaky the way they do it and then one was right tinfoil and then above it was like it said a pound of oh that was like it was a pound for it right i thought oh that's that's better than what that one is right a pound for it and it said organic and he said if you care enough pound and it basically was like a recyclable proper environmentally greta thunberg friendly that tim fall and then i read reread it and it wasn't a pound it was save a pound it was three pounds 75 three pounds 75 tim fall because it was environmentally friendly when if you care enough i was like don't you fucking guilt trip me because you know what the answer is i don't

i do not care enough to spend four quid on tim fall so what i would do i'd nick it and put it in the bin immediately because that'll show them that'll show them that'll show them wouldn't it that'll absolutely show them i don't know how but it will show that'll show i don't know how but it will show them i do have bursts of moments like that when i feel like i've been ripped off have you ever been to the grand canyon i know i've been to the niagara falls so that's a different anecdote so i don't know why it was just that's just deep and in north america yeah that's what you is big and is in america no but my granddad was a coal miner does that help but no but so when you go to vegas you can get to the grand canyon but it's not worth going really to get to you need to go from somewhere

else because it's about four hour drive the old hoover dam's amazing go there don't bother with the grand canyon because the only bit you can get to you sort of the grand canyon is massive but you get funneled into this tiny little thing you have to end up paying like 20 quid and you can get to, you sort of, the Grand Canyon is massive, but you get funneled into this tiny little thing. You have to end up paying like 20 quid. And then you get to see a bit of the Grand Canyon, but you also get all this other crap that you don't want to go to. And it's an absolute rip off. It's a hole in the ground.

How can you charge for a hole in the ground? Do you know what I mean? And then in the end I was in there and I was washing my hands. I had the urge to break a tap just to feel like I've got my money's worth. Do you ever get that urge yeah no i know i know the exact feel like you've got your money's worth is um i do it with with weekend upgrade i try and make back my 15 quid on the train all right yeah with what like drinks and food and christmas yeah i reckon it becomes a challenge obviously with the grand

canyon you're trying to get 20 quid yeah breaking, exactly. And breaking a tap, really. I suppose that is, would you pay 20 quid to break a tap? I'd enjoy the thrill of it. Possibly I would. Yeah, I mean, I'd say that was a fair exchange of cash for experience. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you did that, Rob. I should outline that, obviously. I'm not stealing and we shouldn't steal.

No, but we all know next time you go into Waitrose, you are getting pulled whatever happens. And they'd be stupid not to, Rob. But obviously, I don't do any of that and I wouldn't recommend it. It's a terrible thing to do. No, yeah we all know next time you go into Waitrose, you are getting pulled whatever happens. And they'd be stupid not to, Rob. But obviously I don't do any of that, and I wouldn't recommend it. It's a terrible thing to do. No, yeah, of course, of course. Oh, this is exciting, Josh.

You know, I'm talking about I'm nearly out the woods with the kids. Like, I think physically, tiring-wise, I'm out the woods, but I'm starting a new journey of emotional abuse from my kids as I head into sort of... Yeah, which do you prefer? At the moment, I feel like I can handle the emotional abuse and i'm looking forward to the extra sleep so it feels like it's quite a nice period before they start going out drinking and stuff when they're teenagers um but a couple of things happen so basically we give the kids ipads on the weekend okay so they're allowed the ipads when they wake up because then we get a

lie-in so they wake up at half six we let them be ipad for about an hour and a half then we can get up about half seven eight it's a nice trade-off enjoying rob yep is you've told me that before and it used to be an hour so the ipad time has gone up by 30 minutes but we're not doing it in the week because in lockdown they add it every day right which is so weekends yeah weekends they're allowed a bit longer so that's fine so anyway this morning, the eldest come in, come on iPad like that, and then the youngest woke up, and then the eldest knows her password, the youngest one doesn't. And we went, I'll give it here, we need to do her password.

And she went, I'll do it for her, what's the password? And then half asleep, I just was like, six, one, four, and I just told her, she went, thank you, and walked off. And at that moment, it felt like she was in charge of the house. Oh, Rob. And I just went back to sleep. Oh, God. Do you know what?

This makes me worry. Because since we interviewed Faye Ripley. Yeah. Right. It had an impact on me, right? Okay. In that feeling when she talked about how when they're teenagers and you feel that all that time

has just when they were kids has slipped between your fingers like sand yeah and i really now my big worry is that this this is all gonna you know when you're like you've got a baby and you're like all you gotta do is get to like six weeks and you've got these targets of where you got to get to and you're like i don't want to be wishing my life away because this is the best bit even though at times it feels so tough do you know what i mean yeah but what i'd say is though you you can't i want a really strong relationship with my kids yeah and i want to connect with them and make sure that when they're grown up we're like we're like you know we love each other we spend time together and i don't want them to grow up rob well yeah but they're going to that you're in denial you're in denial they're going

to i am in denial i'm happy with that so my what i do now is right it's like anything you know for like if you want to write a tour show write a book you can't worry about the whole book or the whole tour show you just have to worry about that sentence you're writing in that moment or that joke you're writing in that moment okay and then if you keep focusing on that moment, by the end, you've got a show or a book, okay? Yeah, that's why yours all fit with the perfect narrative, isn't it, Rob? Exactly, yeah.

That's why mine's all over the gaff. But it's effective. Anyway, so- All over the gaff. Absolutely perfect description. So what I've decided to do with my kids now is make sure that I'm fully present in the moment with them. So if I'm bouncing on a trampoline, I am there giving it my all.

We are bouncing the trampoline. I'm not there worrying about what I've done with them, if that was the right thing to do. And I'm not worrying about like, oh, a holiday that they might go on in the future if they appreciate or not and that kind of thing. So if you're just stuck in the moment and then if you're concentrating on that moment, then the only thing that exists is that moment and the rest will take care of itself. And then if you just carry on doing that, you never have to worry about what's going to happen because you're only worrying about what's going on now and you'll be dead they're dead and also you can't really help them they're right they're going to be adults and make loads of mistakes you've just

got to do your best you can and then see you later i think i'm an emotional moment you are i think you've got a baby coming you've got an emotionally raw coming. I'm emotionally raw, Rob. I listen. So I did a podcast, Rob. Okay. Where with Dave Roundtree, the drummer from Blur, where I had to choose my favourite Blur B-sides, right? As you can imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't do the numbers of this podcast,

but it certainly means more to me, right? Yeah, that's fair. That's totally fair. There's one called Young and Lovely, which is about... Sounds like a terrible search, that. That's the kind of thing that you are getting your hard drive taken by the police. Let me be very clear that David Orban wrote this before the internet came along. Young and Lovely.

Young and Lovely, right. But yeah, put it in Spotify, but don't put it into other search engines. Young and Lovely. Young and lovely. Right. But yeah, put it in Spotify, but don't put it into other search engines. Young and lovely. But it's about a teenager going out on their first night and their first night out and the parent dealing with it. And genuinely, I was listening to this, Rob, and I began to cry. Oh. And I was like, I can't deal with this, Rob.

I can't deal with the passing of time someone stop it happening for the love of God yeah but then but Josh you can because you if you stay in the moment

you can because there is no passing of time in the moment it's happening thinking it's the thinking about the past and the future, there's distress. I know. So that's your cheat.

It's focusing on what's happening now. Then there is no time passing, is it? Because it's always now. Yeah. Do I sound like I'm trying to start up a Ponzi scheme? I feel like... It's true. It's like a cheat code.

I feel like this interview is going to be used in a six-part netflix documentary about the cult that you started yeah exactly everyone's going now and everyone's like but rob the hat that that house is going to burn down it's on fire don't worry about it it's not that hot just chill out it's now come on guys anyway josh i've got i've got some help for you if about um new babies coming if that's going to help your emotional state oh yeah okay i'll say something to you after that then oh okay cool right here we go like because you're obviously getting a bit emotional your baby's literally due in a week raw yeah next tuesday's podcast which we'll have to record in advance yeah will

be my last one as a parent of one child. So is that, are you, you don't have to answer this, but is it a C-section, is it a normal birth, or is it what's the plan? Yeah, it's a planned C-section because last time was not a laugh and we were advised to go with a planned C-section this time.

And I'm not going to lie to you, Rob, when they gave that advice, I punched the air. I think my wife was pretty pleased as well, because it's probably, it's a real gift of a piece of advice. Yeah. As well, because there is a lot of undue pressure as well.

I think on women that like, um, you've got to have a natural birth and all this and all that. No pain killers. It's all out of fucking bollocks. Just get it out. Get on with it. Come on. I mean, don't beat yourself up however it comes out well done

for growing it that's what i say yeah right anyway here's some tips because you for the new baby was that the help yeah i think so yeah well i hope so i'm emotionally vulnerable very emotionally vulnerable um i have a tip for josh when the baby comes if you need to make it easier for your daughter to cope with rose feeding the baby or being unable to pay her attention you can get a special busy box this is a special box of toys and games exclusively for that time get it out when the baby needs a feed and maybe add little treats to it every week she has to put it away when mom is finished it will distract from her make her feel special when rose can't spend some time with her hope it helps that's so good near southampton she sent that on the M3.

Near Southampton? Who says that? Good luck. Hopefully you get there. And fleet services. I think that's a really good piece of advice, Rob. Yeah. I can't tell you how unprepared we are.

Okay. Have you got a buggy? Yeah, though we did have two until yesterday and then my friend had his uh stolen so we're back down to one stolen where from uh from their car well that smack they broke in and stole it yeah oh that is that's horrible for them also but for that poor person that is obviously so in such a bad place they're having to steal a buggy. Well, yes, Rob. I agree with you. My friend didn't have that feeling themselves. I'll tell you where you need to go, mate.

Zone 5. Because in Zone 5, they will just steal the car. And then it's less tragic because, you know, they're just scum. It's easier insurance-wise as well. Exactly. And then, like, you know, Rabind ring someone up, they sell a buggy. Oh, so you lent them the buggy. Have you got a cot or anything?

We've got a cot, which I've put up, which is too big. We have to shimmy past it. I suggested that we might need to move the cot to the other side of the bed, which would involve... Why are you suggesting anything? Well, I'll tell you why,

because I couldn't get... Just let Rose pick, and then you go along with it. That's how it i'm gonna sound like an old past and i can get past rob yeah but then you don't you just have to let them yeah like a crock of shit yeah she said she couldn't imagine sleeping on the other side of the bed oh so okay so you have your side involved a a change in the size of our bed sleeping for the first time in our nine-year relationship. So what side are you on?

If you're lying on your back, I'm on the left side. Okay, yep, same as me. Yeah. Are you nearest the door? No, I'm not. I'm nearest the window. I'm nearest the window too. So there's more space on your side where the cot needs to go,

but Rose is quite anti-switching sides. Well, there's not more space on your side where the cot needs to go but rose is quite anti switching sides well there's there's not any space on my side but obviously you don't need to get past because that's like the corner do you know what i mean so you can just pop pop it in there okay so she's very anti sleeping on a new side of the bed yeah has anyone listening ever swapped i guess i would never consider you know when you're a kid and you'd like rearrange your bedroom and it was the best thing ever yeah suddenly it felt like you got a new bedroom. I think it might be like that. It might give us an excitement, a free song.

Yeah, I think so. It might spice things up. I don't think it's going to spice up for a good couple of months yet, Rob. A couple. You're confident. A good couple of years. Anyway. A good solid decade and then we're back in the game.

Yeah, exactly. When all time has disappeared through my fingertips. Have you got any other tips, Rob? Yes, I do. So here, hi. Absolutely love the podcast. Save my sanity in lockdown, et cetera, et cetera. Seems a bit flippant, actually.

I just want to share a second. Et cetera, et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera. No, actually, tell us. We need the praise. I just wanted to share a second child tip that has helped avoid many, many meltdowns. I have a three-year-old and almost six-month-old who was born the day of lockdown. Ideal.

So it's been an intense. This is a six-month-old. Sorry, we are trying to get through them. Intense is an understatement. We obviously reuse so much crap from our eldest. A slight change of wording has avoided many meltdowns. And my husband hasn't been as fortunate enough to swerve so basically because they're giving the baby clothes or the

little rattlers or whatever yeah so my husband says that that was your insert toy outfit or something and the three-year-old loses their shit how dare the baby have this treasured possession even though they're not using it anymore, you know, changing mat or whatever. However, they now say, you used to use that when you were little. A subtle change. Oh, that's a good one. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down, Rob.

You used to use that when you were little. When you were little, yeah. That's a baby thing, isn't it? Should we give it to the baby? Yes. Oh, mate. Also, my five-year-old today lou's taken them to this like nature trail thing um there's loads of these in a zone five i've written this

on a post-it by the way oh god you're so 2012 she's taking the kids to like his nature trail walk um with their cousin um and then so my eldest has said i've got an activity for us all she's written down on three bits of paper things like the sun, flowers, tree, grass, a cow, and put little tick boxes next to it and three pens. She's set an activity for the three children. Oh, my word. And on one of them, because the youngest. Like an I Spy activity.

Yeah, and the youngest can't read, so she did drawings. Oh, my God. She's creating her own activities. Your family is self-sufficient. You are not needed you're just walking around waitrose being followed by security guard while your family gets on with life give your kid a fish and they'll eat for a day yeah give them a fishing rod and teach them how to fish they'll fish forever exactly they just create their own activities and they hate fish as

well um we got another one here about new baby oh no this is just is that oh no these aren't about new babies but these will make us and anyone listening feel better about their own kids okay okay so this one's from nat grange um title of this is get ready on the bleeper michael pig jeez louise so this is a helpful email is it rob no this is it'll make you feel less worried about your own kids. And these people got embarrassed. And it's about when kids say the wrong words, but they're being offensive, they don't realise.

So my two-year-old son, Harry, has been practising his animals. This was great when he saw a pig and its three piglets at the local farm the following day. Running over to them and screaming, pig c*** at the top of his voice. Oh, my God. Love the podcast. I've listened to every episode since you started.

What? There's no more info. Where's the explanation? There's got to be a reason for that, right? You can't just tell us that without... I thought I was going to... All right, this is going to... Well, that's just it.

Like that he was saying the C word for like, for like pig pen or something or whatever. But no, he just screamed at his pig. Anyway, so this one is disgusting. So if you are eating, don't at the moment. Hello, Lockdown Parenting Hell team. I absolutely love the fact that this lady thinks we've got a team. Just me, you and Michael. Only met Michael once in a year.

If I hadn't met him, Josh, I think I would have been getting catfished by you. And you're just taking all the money, pretending there's a producer. Yeah, I't met him, Josh, I think I would have been getting catfished by you and you're just taking all the money pretending there's a producer. Yeah, I'm not going to lie to you, Rob. I'm staying up late at night. Putting on a deep, sexy voice. Putting on a deep, sexy voice

and editing you out the podcast. I've never listened back, so I wouldn't know. Anyway. It's like Fight Club. The only way I know I'm in it is on these emails. They say, Rob. That's the only way I know I'm in it is on these emails. They say, Rob.

That's the only way I'm sure. So anyway, this is, we have a one-year-old son, George, two in November, who, like most toddlers, loves a bath time regime. However, our delightful son has started with a new routine. He now frequently poos in the bath. Oh, no. Okay. The first time was not ideal,

slightly inconvenient, but manageable. However, we're now 17 poos deep. Oh my God. Involving a range of different formations, textures and floatability. It's gotten so bad, we've invested in a fishing net to scoop out his poop. Oh my God. Which is always an awkward topic when visitors use the bathroom.

We've tried a number of different techniques and distraction methods, but we've rapidly run out of ideas any help welcome many thanks george's personal pooper scooper abby i mean that the investment in the net is just a low moment that's you know that you are mitting defeat as soon as you buy as soon as you buy the net you've lost the war yeah i mean the net it's like the people in Jersey deciding to learn German. What are you writing into Amazon to get the right net to come up? I think you've just got to be preemptive with their face because you can tell when a kid's doing a poo, their eyes change. It looks like they've just, you know,

before when the calculators on your phone existed, you had to try and split a bill in a restaurant and your eyes did that, trying to add it up, right? And their eyes go. So I think you've just got to preempt those eyes and then get them out and put them straight on the toilet or the potty but if they're only 18 months they're probably too young for a potty aren't they that's a bit young to do yeah a bit young for the potty i think bit young for the potty oh my god the net oh i'm having to clean the net as well oh soaping up the net after it's taken a shit out the bath. I mean, part of me would enjoy the kind of, you know,

kind of fairground gamer element of getting the shit with the net. No, you wouldn't, mate. No, you wouldn't. It feels like, you know, you're going to turn on the TV in a few years and go, yeah, Taskmaster have run out of ideas here. This is totally unacceptable. In a few years and go, yeah, Taskmaster have run out of ideas here. This is totally unacceptable. In a few years? They,

they want to say, oh, Taskmaster, that's what I want to say about Taskmaster because there's a fan of yours from Taskmaster. Oh, really? Gillian Barkley said her daughter's

first celebrity crush is Josh. Oh, my word. She's only five years old and would like to hold his hand. Oh, God. That's cute, isn't it? I have absolutely hit my target market. oh my word she's only five years old and would like to hold his hand oh god that's cute isn't it I have absolutely hit my target market

the next tour is going to be five year olds and tired parents that is what it's going to be this started when we were watching the child friendly version of Taskmaster yeah so if you want to watch

Taskmaster it's a child friendly version yeah on I don't know if it's on E4 but they do a bleeped out version so it's it's a pre-watched so if you wanted to watch that with kids and my kids bleeped out version. So it's a pre-Watershed.

So if you wanted to watch that with kids, and kids do quite like it, actually. My kids have seen a couple of episodes. She cheers for him every week and gets very annoyed if someone else wins and gets very happy every time he's on the screen. Well, Rob, on that, I should offer congratulations that you're now officially a stiff neck. Why am I stiff neck? Because you've been nominated for a BAFTA, Stiff Ne grand central station of the stiff necks i'm arrived exactly you are now

officially a stiff neck am i an artist uh let's not push it okay yeah a craftsman an entertainer yeah a means to an end how does it feel to be a stiff neck do you know what it's quite what I've realised is if you want to get a BAFTA nomination you just need to stick a tube up your arse in LA

and before you know it you're in the noms list that's what I did on the basketball episode Adam Hills stuck a tube up his arse on a last leg he's been nominated

has he oh yeah he did a prostate exam on the telly oh yeah it wasn't a tube it was a finger but either way what is a finger if not a big solid tube at the end of the day? Yeah, well, let's not get bogged down by it. But, yeah, no, I'm king of the stiff necks.

I'm now a stiff neck. King of the stiff necks. Are you excited? I'm excited, Jeremy. Yeah, to be honest. It's nice to, you know, I'm not really, the problem with these kind of awards is the people that really care make me feel physically sick.

Yeah. So I'm excited and it'd be lovely to win, but it's great to be nominated. And to be fair as well, that show, it's for the show, not really for me and Romesh. So the people put so much effort into making me and Romesh look good. So I'm really happy for them as well because it's all good, isn't it? I said the opposite when The Last Leg was nominated. I said, this is purely for me adam and i left but not the paralympians that

sort of got you on your way absolutely oh well let me tell you this rob right oh you're not anti-paralympics i am not anti-paralympian rob i know which side my bread is buttered on that issue So in 2012, Rob. Yeah. Well, 2013, I suppose it was. The Channel 4 Paralympic coverage won the BAFTA, Rob. Oh. Do you know how I found out about this? How?

Hilsey and Brooker went along as part of the Paralympic coverage. But you didn't go. They forgot to invite me, Rob. I was nominated for a BA bafta eight years ago and they well i wasn't i was part of a huge thing that won they didn't fucking invite me mate i didn't get invited they couldn't that was very new to tv at this point yeah so at the time i didn't really think anything of it now i'm, are you kidding me? That is meant, also as well,

I think. And then, right, on the Friday, as an apology, I got given a, a day at a spa, a little voucher,

a day at a spa. Oh, that, oh, did you have a nice time? Do you know what? That was the first sign that I realised

I'd actually been done here because I hadn't thought anything of it. And then when I got given the day at the spa, I was like, why are they buying me off here? Sat there in your robe

fuming. Absolutely livid as Adam Hills holds a BAFTA with Ellie Simmons and Claire Balding. Also though, yeah, because Last Leg was a big part of that coverage wasn't it? Because obviously you had the sports coverage. Two thirds of it was, mate. Absolutely livid. Anyway, thank you very much, mate no congratulations rob cheers mate um what have you got any emails josh we do some uh yes should we do some rural life stuff oh we did

have one other thing i wanted to say to you oh yeah come on mate i was so busy the other day yeah all right you know when a day just gets away from you right yeah so we went to the garden center and then it was a bit so we went to the garden center and then it was a bit of a rush at the garden center then we drove back and then my daughter fell asleep in the car and it was stressful she gets very angry when you wake her up at the end of a car journey awful experience that and then um we got inside and then and then suddenly it was bedtime and we were doing bedtime right and it was half six and then there was some cat sick on the floor and i thought i'd clear that up and then i went bedtime and we were doing bedtime, right? And it was half six. And then there was some cat sick on the floor.

And I thought I've got to clear that up. And then I went in and I was doing bedtime. And then I had a podcast to record in the evening. Yeah. It was 6.30, Rob. And I had needed, not to be too graphic, I'd needed a shit since 2pm. And I couldn't believe this thought entered my head. I genuinely, I was like, how has my life come to thinking this?

I thought, I'll probably have to do it about 9pm now. It's amazing what your body can do under pressure. I was like, what has my life come to that I'm scheduling in this year's shit for two and a half hours time, having already needed it four and a half hours ago. Oh my God. I bet it felt good when it came, didn't it? Well, I was walking to do

it. Have you ever stepped on cats? Oh no. It is proper cartoon. It's like a banana skin. Genuinely, I skidded along the floor like I was in the Bash Street Kids. It was unbelievable. Oh, no. Anyway.

Oh, God. Oh, I've got to talk about, I got drunk again, but the weekend on Saturday, I went out with my mate, and I've just got to stop drinking. I can't cope with the hangover. It's too difficult these days. Yeah, but I get so excited. I go at it like a retired footballer.

I'm like Ray Parler, just absolutely hammering it. And I can't, have you been through Soho yet on a Saturday night? No, no, of course not. Oh my God, it's awful. It's like a state of emergency when everyone has to run somewhere

to get away from a volcano or something. It's horrific. But yeah, I'm going to stop. It's not good for you. I can't deal with a hangover with the kids. It's too much. I can't be bothered with a hang or something. It was horrific. But yeah, I'm going to stop. It's not good for you. I can't deal with a hangover with the kids. It's too much. I can't be bothered with a hangover anymore. It's not worth it.

It's 48 hours minimum. Yeah. It's just not worth it, Rob. No, it's not. It's just simply not worth it. And it makes me, I feel so depressed on a hangover. Yeah. I feel so fragile.

I feel so depressed on a hangover. Yeah. I feel so fragile. And I just think I cannot wait to just be sat in front of the TV looking at my phone at 7.30 tonight. That's all I wish. That's all I'm thinking about all day. Oh, dear. Well, yeah.

I'm going to stop drinking. What did you do with your Sunday on your hangover? How did you do with your sunday on your hangover how did you how did you deal with it well luckily um lou um was lou took the kids around her friends so i don't lou's been treating me you lucky pig yeah so she she took me she took the kids out the sunday right and then i said i'll get up with them on monday and bankroll day monday um for a lie in like she could have a line i'll get out with them on Monday, on Bank of the Day Monday, for a lie-in. Like, she could have a lie-in and I'll get up with them. So they came in about half six, seven. And then I shut my eyes.

Before I knew it, it was 9 a.m. And I said, Lou, she went, oh, yeah, I was up anyway. I thought I'd let you sleep in. And I was like, you know in, like, tea in EastEnders when someone's having an affair? And they're treating their spouse too well. But at this stage, I don't care who she's fucking if she's this nice to me. I'll take that. Oh, Rob.

But yeah, she's been treating me like an absolute dream, Josh. You lucky, lucky man, Rob. I'm a lucky man. Can I tell you about some rural school days that people have sent us? How about this one? Okay. I think I may be the winner of the Quirkies Village School. I'm 27 and I'm from South Wales.

I attended a school where the entire school, reception age to year six, consisted of 16 children. Few points to explain. Not only were my mum and auntie the nursery minders over the road for the kids before they went to primary school, the primary school also consisted of my brother me and three of my cousins all consecutive a year apart from each other meaning my family made up a third of the entire school population similar to josh we had no canteen so the local meals would be fried by meals on wheels rugby

thursdays and football fridays were a weekly favourite where a Welsh rugby player or Mr Football would turn up at the school and run afternoon activities. Kids would regularly turn up to the school on the back of their family quad bike.

What? I've seen them quad bike. I've seen a sheep on a quad bike. You've seen a sheep on a quad bike? Yeah, with a farmer though, not on his own.

Alright, okay. You do need to stop the drinking. He had a sheep on the front and a dog on the back, and he was in the middle. Absolutely nailing life. Was this on Wallace and Gromit? No, it was real when I was travelling somewhere up north through Yorkshire, like the proper farming area.

And I just looked at him, I was like, what a world he lived. It's so mad that in the same world and time in history that he exists and Deliveroo. Do you know what I mean? Well, in many in many ways rob they're just someone on a bike delivering a sheep but it's just a different type of sheep maybe that's where he's going he's had a really long journey and he'll cut it up and cook it on um i want to tell you rob about triplets okay hi rob and josh i've been thinking of writing into your podcast for some time. My parents had a particularly interesting experience raising my sisters and I.

We are identical triplets. My parents weren't expecting to have more than one child. So we're totally shocked when they went for the second scan. There were three of us. This was in the mid nineties. So having triplets was a scary prospect with the odds of something going wrong, much higher than today. But thankfully we were born healthy a month and a half early my mum quit her

job to take care of us my dad kept working as a teacher worked into the evening as a tutor to make ends meet well this might seem like he got the better deal he didn't usually come home until we're asleep so only hearing the after the alice james episode when i asked him how old we were when we finally slept through at night, that I realized he had lived through his own parenting hell. My dad would work at the school in the day, tutor in the evening, and then get up with us in the night.

And he revealed to me that we didn't sleep through the night until we were two years old. He couldn't nap between feeds as he would finish feeding one, changing one of us, try to get back in the bed, and then another would cry. This would continue throughout the night,

so he'd sneak in small 20-minute naps until my mum would get up in the morning and he would have to go back to work. Oh, my God. Can you imagine that? I bet he was so shit at his job. Can you imagine being the teacher of an unruly class? And you've been up for a year and a half. I'd love to see the grades of his students in that two-year period. There'll be studies about this mad drop-off in that area

and how it hit the economy. Ofsted's going, we don't understand what has gone wrong with your school. Oh dear. That is brutal. It's brutal isn't it? Absolutely. I should add, my family went to visit my cousin and aunt in Australia

and uncle. My sisters and I were around eight and the time absolutely loved the flight as we'd never had food or TVs on a plane before. We flew to Sydney and stayed with my uncle and family. One flight from Sydney to Brisbane, my dad sat away from us,

so it was just the three of us and my mum together. So every time one of us needed the bathroom, we all had to go. We had to walk past most of the plane to get to the bathrooms. On another trip, one of the cabin crew came up to us very shocked and said, excuse me, are you triplets? I want a question no there's a we're quads there's one in the toilet having a shit we said yes uh used to the question at this point but very confused as why she seems

uh so worried she then revealed him who's asking she then revealed to us that one of the people we kept passing on our way to the bathroom was an elderly Australian man who'd been drinking wine on the flight. Upon seeing us, he immediately asked the stewardess, are there triplets on the flight? She responded that there weren't, at which point he told her to stop serving him any alcohol. Take the wine away from him as he was seeing Drupal. This is like something from a Disney movie.

The amount people drink on a plane. I was on a flight to Australia when I did the I'm a Celebrity show and they send you business class, right? So it was an Emirates and it's amazing. There's a bar on the actual plane, right? And then the chair goes into a bed, right? And a proper bed. So can you go up and sit at the bar? the actual plane, right? And then the chair goes into a bed, right? A proper bed. It's incredible.

So can you go up and sit at the bar? Yeah. Oh, man alive. It is exhilarating to the point of just... Take me there. Oh, it's unbelievable, right? And it's only on Emirates and stuff, because I've flown with other people with work,

and it's just like a nice chair and more space. But Emirates is amazing. Anyway, so he stood at the bar drink it was a 14 hour flight he stood at that bar i'd say for 12 hours beers a little bit he must have had 25 little beers right chatting away lovely geez he weren't any trouble but just bang banging them back right and then he stumbled back so he had to sit down right there was about an hour and a half left of the flight he's paid know, whatever, thousands of pounds for this bed. He fell asleep, sat upright in the chair, not even turning. Didn't even recline it slightly.

Like, literally, like, rigid back, a ridge back, stiff back, straight up asleep for an hour. Woke up, was in Sydney. It was ridiculous. Oh, what a legend. He's so funny. Oh, my word. Didn't even recline it slightly.

But I think everyone in business class is being paid for it's like when you go into first class on a train during the week and you're like everyone here is doing this on some kind of business because there's no way anyone would pay for this out of their own no and i think even with because i've seen kids when i've been there doing it on work and i've seen kids and business it's sort of a waste really i do think i think it's if you can afford it and you've got silly money go business obviously because it doesn't really matter to you but if you're like stretching yourself i i went premium economy with the kids and it did make a massive difference that but i don't think the jump up from that to they don't need a bed the kids do they they're only

small but if you go premium economy it does give you more space because that is i think worth the extra money if you're doing a long haul flight those front seats mate exactly if you get the front seat you've got your own little front room so that's what we did when we yeah i love the front seats on a plane and also as well you feel guilty if you've got kids on the posh bit and they're screaming and someone's paid all that money do you feel guilty or do you feel alive i i feel alive when i'm on a plane and there's a kid's crying it's not mine oh my god the people that the people that moan about that i feel like you don't understand how good this feels knowing it's not my kid crying i totally agree before you have a kid

that it's the most annoying thing in the world once you have a kid it's glorious because it's not you exactly it's a total 180 degree turn of experience. I don't think there's anything that's such an about turn as babies crying on a plane. Oh my God. It's absolutely, keep it crying. Keep that baby crying. I'm watching Marley and me and there you are trying to deal with a crying baby.

Josh, should we do small business shout outs? Let's do it. I've got one here. Yes. Do you know what? A link from Marley and me. This is about dogs. Okay.

We are a social enterprise where every bag of dog food sold, we donate to another dog in need. We launched during lockdown and so far have donated over 15,000 dog meals to rescue centers and dog charities thanks to our customers who get to select who they're donating to from animal food banks to overseas street dogs all our profits are turned into food donations so we don't have the big budget for advertising we do offer samples of the dog food these are available to request online at www.bradshaw'sdogs.com overseas street dogs

they sound so cool i thought that like there's some sort of like gangster dogs like overseas street i'm a straight i'm a fucking street it feels like a computer game you'd have played what's up street dog i'm an overseas mother street dog mother Bradshaw get my mother dinner I'm an overseas street dog Michael's gonna have a lot of

bleeping to do in this episode I'm a street dog okay that's brad www.bradshaws with an s dogs with an s.com uh do you want to give that address as the overseas street dog www.bradshawsdog.com mother sorry Michael I should add love the podcast and I'm so pleased my daughters are older

in brackets 11-7 so I don't have to do battle every day so all I have to do is change the wifi password and then they behave however

I did find out my 11 year old also listens to this podcast I'm livid about this because she loves Rob oh so I get the five-year-olds they love me

you get the 11-year-olds Rob we're really tapping into the young market I think though this is a great long-term strategy for us because then when they get older they can buy a ticket

exactly to a tour show it's sort of like we're really future-proofing ourselves as a brand Josh this is great totally have I told you about

when a baby came to my tour show I'll tell you on Friday Rob if you do mention Bradshaw's feel free to tell my daughter I can't believe we haven't done that it's been a year anyway we'll talk about the baby at the gig on Friday I've got enough shout out if you do mention Bradshaw's feel free to tell my daughter Rebecca that this podcast is not for her and go and tidy her room. Let's be honest. I think the swearing in this episode has done that job for us. Yeah,

exactly. Thanks much. Laura Bradshaw's dogs.com. Um, okay. We've got another one. Hi guys. Been loving the podcast since day dot.

This is Abby. Um, I know this is a bit of a long shot. No, it isn't. It's a short shot. It's hit the target. I'm a mobile now.

Technician. I added that in. She hasn't written that like a lunatic. Anyway, I know it's a long shot, but I am a mobile now technician i added that in she hasn't written that like a lunatic anyway i know it's a long shot but i am a mobile now technician in cardiff with no kids i don't know why oh she doesn't know kids listen to this i'm mobile so that i can be accessible for every single person no matter their physical ability everyone deserves beautiful nails oh so that means you must go to like old people's homes and stuff like that if people can't get out and about oh that's good everyone deserves beautiful nails my instagram and youtube is at able nails it's a b l e n a i l s and she yeah that's amazing there

i also do press on now or just so anyone from anywhere can get some um the super kindest regards abby she's really good. I've just looked at her Instagram. Some amazing ones. The blue ones on there. Look at that. Oh, so yeah. So she's very creative.

So I think, Abby, you can do your normal nails or very creative ones. Some incredible ones. Yeah. So it's Able Nails. Good luck, Abby, with the business. Good luck, Abby. Good luck, Laura, from Bradshaw's Dogs. Able Nails,adshaw's dogs able nails

bradshaw's dogs i think rob that is about it that is us done oh also these nails are vegan and cruelty free oh yes romesh can get them yes romesh can get his nails done lovely his nails done for the baftas that's good actually i love cruelty free because the place um lou goes to they do a bit of seal clubbing for an hour and then the nails get done. Every new chip is sorted. So it's good. I didn't know you could get your nails done without bashing up an animal. Good to know.

Thank you to everyone. We'll see you on Friday. See you on Friday.