Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP37: Abbey Clancy

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' -S02 EP37: Abbey ClancyJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant model and presenter, Abbey Clancy. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell.

The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.

Hello, you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with Freya. Can you say Rob Beckett? Yeah. Rob Beckett. Yeah. Rob Beckett. Yeah. Freya, can you say Josh Widdicombe?

Josh. Widdicombe. Josh. Widdicombe. Josh. We did come. Josh. We did come. Josh. Okay. Good try. Good try. Slammed.

Gosh, saltiness on that good try. Yeah. Yeah. Cheers, mate. Good try. So the question was, can you? She went, yeah. You didn't ask her to do it.

No, exactly. Can you do it? Yes. Next question. Hi, Josh and Rob. Please find attached our two-year-old Freya's attempt at your names. We discovered your podcast this year when our son Elijah was born in January. My wife was a little sceptical at first,

usually listening to the more serious parenting podcasts, but Rob's tips have won her over. And now we listen through all your shows when doing Ellie's night feed, Eli's, which makes sitting in blackout darkness and being blasted by white noise more appealing. That's a very unfair description of our podcast, but there we go. You're tired, but you're on fire, Josh.

So his wife likes the tips, not the banter? No, he doesn't like the banter, but he likes the tips. Okay. Well, I've got a tip we could do later, or there is some banter about cow's tongues. So maybe we go on the tip this week let's go with the tip um the um here you go this is a tip especially for that man's wife what's his name again uh his name is mark and his wife is jazz uh and he said on one episode i was holding eli up after feed and started laughing at one of rob's rants my wife was in bed next to me in total darkness, could feel me rhythmically

shaking the bed, wanting to know what the hell I was doing while holding my son with one hand. I mean, that's a bit much. He was laughing. He wasn't wanking. He wasn't wanking at Rob's rants. He was laughing at them. If you want to wank to my rants, it's up to you. I'm not there. Do what you want with me.

How have you been, Rob? Oh, good. I'll give you this quick tip so we can keep Jazz happy. You're listening with a seven-day-old that doesn't want to be put down and held for sleep all the time. Although it will probably be settled by now, our trick was to tightly wrap one of my worn T-shirts around the Moses basket mattress so my baby could enjoy the scent of the wonder that is Milkmakers as a comforter.

And fool her, she was still on me. Worked like a dream from the second day we were home so should have told tom parry yeah but also try it it might just be you had a sleeper and they've got an animal we will never know but it's a good tip it's worth a go in it um yeah what's happening josh not much much i'm all right you know so so i'd say i'm just existing from one hour to the next rob Rob. Aren't we all? Yeah. But I haven't really got much work this week.

No. Handed the book in. And so now I'm just doing podcast and kind of building the snuzz pod and stuff. So I'll be honest with you. Yeah. In a way, this is the most tired I've ever been. Yeah. But in another way, this is the closest I've got to a holiday in about three years.

Yeah, it's because you're not working as much. And also, your daughter's at preschool during the day, so you do have a little bit more time when the baby's sleeping. But I wouldn't call it a holiday. When do you start Last Leg again? Next week. You're on it, Rob. Am I?

Oh, yeah, I am, aren't I? Is that next week? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I am, aren't I? Was that next week? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Friday. Who else is on? Oh, I tell you what we should do. I tell you what, if I'm on, there's someone stiff on as well. Oh, there'll be someone stiff on as well.

Because they've got to balance the loose and the stiff. Exactly. Because if you're on, it's like if we put you. David Mitchell, Victoria Cora Mitchell, either of them. Yeah. Sandy Tosvig Claire Balding yeah exactly up when the loose man's well what happens Rob is if we've got you on yeah um or say a Tom Davis that kind of uh you know loose neck loose neck yeah they need they do need to

thin it out because otherwise Alex Brooker does get too excited yes it gets a bit too loose didn't he gets giddy. And then you need someone to stiffen it up down the middle. That's fair enough. That's how stuff works, isn't it? It's all about collaboration, Josh. Now, that'd be fun. I'll do that.

Why don't we try and next Tuesday we'll say something that we'll do on the episode so everyone can watch and we'll try and get something into the episode. I'll do loose neck stiff neck. Yeah, we'll get loose neck stiff neck into the episode. Yeah, basically, whoever plugs the other person's book the most wins and the loser has to pay money to charity perfect and the charity street dogs you just wait until it gets to like one minute so when it finishes and we've both done four plugs each and then adam gilch says goodbye and i'll just scream I used to watch Neighbours twice a day.

Anyway. What I would say on Tom Davis being on the last leg, Rob, once we had Tom Davis on the last leg, for some joke I can't remember, or for something, we were all wearing, you know, like those coats that, like, swimmers wear before they go out. Yeah. And they told the wardrobe lady,

could you get one for Tom Davis? And when it came over, it was quite small. And she thought they meant Tom Daley. Oh, yeah, they're very different men. They're very different men. Tom Davis is about six foot eight, isn't he? Tom Davis is the biggest man I've ever seen in my life. Bigger than Greg?

I think he is bigger than Greg. But do you know what? He's got surprisingly small waist and legs, Tom Davis. He's got huge shoulders and back. He's top heavy, isn't he? He's like a dart. Yeah, he is like a dart. Anyway, yeah, well, let's see who we're on with.

We'll find out, won't we? Let's just sit down. Last time I was on it, I was on with Joanna Lumley, and you slimed her in the head. Yeah sounds worse than uh it was the record was great but afterwards hey lovely bit it really got out of hand um anyway yeah so this is what i'll talk about um i think um my my children have got blocked up ears and that's why they're so loud what just a bit of fun just a bit of fun um because they screamed so loud and then once when she wasn't well before the doctor looked in her ears and said the oldest one oh there's a bit of

wax in there i think and um so i think that's the case but i was speaking to my friend the other day and he went because he thought he had bad hearing because his wife kept on saying you need to go to get your hearing sorted or the wax sorted and he went to the doctors they looked in there went it's absolutely fine there's nothing in there he went yeah but my wife said i'm not listening to her and the doctor said we get this a lot he went every week i have at least three men that come in here that think their hearing's going and it's absolutely fine i test them it's completely normal um and it's just that you're just not listening to your partner. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. I'd go back in that situation to my wife and go, yeah, they're syringed now. So hopefully everything will improve. Yeah, I go, no, I've spoke to the doctor. Apparently the problem is your voice. But yeah, so I think I'm going to take them because they are shouting quite loud. But then I do shout loud. So I don't really know what the issue is.

That'll be fun, though. Will they be excited by that? Um, well, I think I'm just going to take them to have a little look at, I need to do a full family trip to the dentist as well. My, my,

the oldest, she's lost two teeth now. She's got one coming through at the bottom that is completely at a right angle. I think they move as they grow in, don't they? I don't know. But this one is like,

it's completely the wrong way. You'd want a tooth. If you could pick the worst way for a tooth to come out your mouth, that would be it. I had a brace, Rob. I had a brace growing up. I also had a tooth removed because it was basically coming through in the roof of my mouth. Oh, blimey. It was like coming through as if there was a row of teeth behind my teeth.

It was coming through in that row, if you know what I mean. See, I look like that's happening, but it's not. But my teeth look like, when I laugh, it looks like my teeth are trying to escape from my body. Did you have a brace? On the bottom ones, because I had an extra tooth that they took out and then it pulled it back in. But the top ones have always been big, but they've always been quite straight.

So I've never needed a brace on the top ones. They are big, but they're good teeth, Rob. They're good, strong teeth. I might get them whitened. Yeah. Because they're getting a bit darker now, and I've never had them whitened and people think i haven't whitened anyway so might as well i i you know this is an honest form i did get them whitened before i got married rob did you yeah my teeth

so you got so i never noticed you were that did you was there a marked difference i've never really known no but sorry so it wasn't like a whitening thing where you'd go and they'd do it like Jurgen Klopp. Yeah. It was a thing that you can get that you put on your teeth for an hour each night for a week, and it just makes them a bit whiter. Okay.

But I never noticed it. Did you notice a difference? Yes, I did, but I don't know if anyone else would. No, but if it's for you more than anyone else, because a lot of people, it's sad really, don't laugh. Because if they've got self-conscious about their teeth or when they're eating, they cover their mouth like that. I've just never.

Do you know what, Rob? I've played to some really self-conscious audiences about their teeth recently. I'm going to do some gigs soon, Josh. My tour's supposed to start up in the middle of August, so I'm going to start going to Comedy Club. Oh, my God, yeah, I'm doing my tour in September, and I've done nothing, Rob. Yeah, but you will do, but I'm scared.

I'm not worried about the gig or the comedy. I genuinely don't know how I'm going to start work at 8pm. It's so tough. That's my biggest worry. I just keep falling asleep. Yeah. Well, at the moment, Rob, I'll be honest with you. I start work at 8pm and it continues till 7am.

That's currently the situation. Yeah. But yeah, it is weird. I also, it does feel weird. I don't know if you've done many things in the evening tv things are different because you often go in the day so you don't feel like you're leaving the house in the evening yeah but the feeling now of leaving the house in the evening feels very odd yeah i know it feels uncomfortable and strange because you're so used to your day ending at 6 p.m or

i went out for dinner last week the first time I've been out for dinner for like ages for a work thing and I and we got to like 11 because we were sort of chatting and enjoying ourselves and I didn't even drink and I just drove home I was I had a hangover the next day just from tiredness it's pathetic I'm used to doing about five gigs a night and running around the little cabin and now I'm like I just sat down at eight and I'm like man you know like when old people go like, oh no, I had a big meal last night.

Pathetic little old bastard. Oh, it was a bit rich actually. Oh, it was a bit rich for me. Oh, you sad case, porridge eating fuck.

That's what I am. That's ending up on our LPH. No context. No context. Do follow that on Instagram, the no context quotes. I'll be honest, I'm so not across this podcast,

I'm so tired, that I often see them and can't remember them. Yeah, no, I don't know what I've said at any point on this podcast, but I think that's a good thing. That means we're being, people that sit, you know, you ever see that sometimes people go like, hey guys, you want to get in a podcast? This is how you do it. You sit down, you write your script and you deliver.

I mean, the thought of writing a scripted podcast, fuck off. Imagine that. If this was scripted, Rob, it would take forever because you would never script something this shit. The redrafting on it, the week would be over. Yeah, exactly. You'd never get two of these out a week. Yeah, guys, just to let you know, it's the fifth week running.

Josh has mentioned his bins. Do we really need another bin story? Well, he's got that one about not getting a parking fine on tuesday it's great stuff this is from gertrude one two one which i don't know if that's just you know if she works for the old mobile phone company mercury um gertrude one two one my kind of reference my kind of reference you'll get more of that in josh's book um hi guys i'm sure it's been covered on one of the episodes as of yet i'm an eavesdropper on the podcast whilst my husband's listen my husband and not husband this is from salt lake city this email my husband listens to it but i would really love to hear you guys discuss the

mental load and how how you guys and dads feel about it what is the mental do you know what the mental load is josh no no it's been something i'm trying to discuss with my husband but he just doesn't get it i've still got no idea what it is gertrude but in a humorous podcast format perhaps that is someone who does not like comedy podcasts no offense gertrude in a humorous podcast format perhaps it will make some sense to him like how things like adding shower gel to the shopping list remembering friends birthdays thinking ahead for the week's dinners naturally tends to fall on one parent than the other and how it's an additional aspect of parenting alongside working and keeping a household going all right i get the mental load okay here's a topical suggestion from gertrude

is mostly the most official email i've ever had yeah but what's her name gertrude does not fuck about as her name suggests she takes things seriously and i like it exactly i'd say the mental load right so there's certain things i do not explain it for me in layman's terms so the mental load i think is basically as well as getting on with looking after the kids and doing your job it's other stuff like oh is other passports gonna go out for a holiday have you got holiday insurance well we need to get some more food in it's someone's birthday next week and all that well i think gertrude here is doing most of that and he's not and i think traditionally that kind of stuff would normally fall in a stereotypical

male female relationship when the man is the breadwinner that and and that would normally fall on the female yes but obviously times are changing and it's a bit unfair for that to fall like that what we in lieu do and i think we've got a fairly modern setup and it's very 50 50 even though i do work more is that uh we sort of pick things that like for me i do all the financial stuff and all that kind of stuff and tax and things like that whereas lou will take the lead on the kids uniforms and schools and stuff but i'll always do the school drop-offs and things so i think you just have to just be open and split it up and then it doesn't it stops resentment we totally do that i don't get involved at all in the school uniforms and their packed lunches but then lou doesn't do anything to do with all the tax and stuff that i have to do so

we just basically have clear and the bins i'm basically fully into control of the bins do you know what we've got a very similar so rose would do all of my daughter's clothes yes i do i do do the finances uh i'm i am bins bins i do lou does all the washing yeah rose does washing rob we're living in the same house i and lou and lou does a bit more of the day-to-day food but i'll be more in charge of like events or special dinners that we're doing if we need different stuff dishwasher i'd say i've got 80 percent control over you are talking my language this i'm doing 80 dishwasher what else um the loft up until recently i'd be the only person that goes

in and out the loft yeah lose physically able to get in and out there but just doesn't but she did it recently and has not stopped fucking banging on about it. But I imagine the same way as if I did a packed lunch that week. So, yeah, I think you just have to... Driving pretty much as a standard, I will drive. Yeah. Even though, you know... I drive.

Rose can't drive. And I worry that my daughter has become a sexist because she, so our friends, Tom and Claire, Claire can drive, but Tom can't drive. Yeah. And she, my daughter couldn't get this into her head. Really? She couldn't comprehend that the daddy didn't drive. Wow.

Yeah. So we've created a sexist. That is my worry. Well, yeah, what I'd say is they can only, you know, believe what they see. And Rose, I know she's just had a C-section, is to get off her arse and learn to drive for the sake of her child's future. Yeah, she does.

She does. I'm just saying, you know, you've got to lead by example. Exactly. Exactly, Rob. She's never going to be a racing driver if the moment hasn't even passed her test. You cannot smash the patriarchy if you're waiting for an Uber or a black cab. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

But I think the best thing is to be honest, Gertrude, with your husband and just go, right, what are our jobs? Let's split it up and then make sure it's fair. Did you vocalise it, Rob? Or did you, I think we've fallen into it. We naturally fell into it. And then there were certain sticking points like the food where I'm, I'd always do more of the food stuff, but I can't sometimes if I'm away gigging a lot, I can't be in charge of the food shop because I'm physically,

physically not there where Lou's taken more of it, even though she doesn't really enjoy it. She's taken on that a bit more because she sort of has to, and don't get me wrong. I don't love the bins, but I don't hate them as much as Lou does. Yeah. I don't love it,

but it's, it's, it's not as bad much as Lou does. Yeah. I don't love it, but it's, it's, it's not as bad as people make out. No, exactly. Apart from about once a month when something goes wrong and then it's awful. I tell you what,

you take foxes out the equation, the bins are the best job. Exactly. But when a fox turns up, things get spicy. Totally. You know, you just play the ball,

you know, you just, you've got to play the ball you've thrown, haven't you? Exactly. Exactly. Anyway, there you haven't you hopefully that answers your question Gertrude about the mental load I think you need to rebrand it the mental load I don't think

all the other shit basically all the other shit that isn't officially a job but has to get done it's tiring stuff. It's tiring stuff. One thing, our back door, for some reason, it's stopped now, but whenever you opened it, the little rubber bit at the bottom

would ping off, and every time you'd have to push it back in with your hand to shut it. That went on for three months for some reason. I don't know why it's fixed itself. Lou literally never did it once. Ever. And if I weren't there, she'd just shut it with it all hanging out which isn't the way you shut the door is it but there's things i do she calls it um what's it called fucking it what's

the hansel and gretel's trail with me she knows exactly where i've been at any point because there'll be a cupboard open or a pair of shoes it's like the mary celeste you know there's nothing no one there but you know exactly what's happened just a baby in the middle of a estate agent's house. You need to listen to the old episode there. I just realised that was a different episode of recording. Well, you know, someone might be coming in hot for Abbey Clancy.

It's a great episode. I really enjoyed this one. I absolutely had a wonderful time. Also, it's always great when they're a fan of the podcast. Yes. You feel like half the work's done. Exactly. You don't have to explain to them. You't have to have have you listened to it no well what we do is me trying to churn out crosby's law again in a non-three-minute explanation

yeah yeah here we go crosby's law bang she does it next thank you very much yeah see you later exactly rather than staring at a stiffening they went, if you need to mail me this in the week, I could have prepared an answer. Just give me something, you fucking stiffo. OK, here's Abby Clancy. Abby Clancy, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. This is very exciting. Do you know why I'm excited, Abby? Because you requested to come on.

Yes, because I'm blown away by your podcast. I'm just going to put it out there. Pete's fuming. Oh, thank you. Pete's fuming that I'm coming on it. Because you're the rivals. But you know, you do two a week, so technically you're only half as good.

Yes, I mean, that is an argument. Some would also argue that Peter stole the idea off me and Jimmy Bullard for his podcast, but then I don't want to start slinging mud, Abby, at this stage. I think yours is better than his because it's not about football. Yeah. They're rubbish football podcasts, aren't they? Football podcasts. Let's not get into that.

Pete said Josh has got a really good one, 90s something. Yes, there we go. Oh, look at this. We haven't just got you on for podcast praise, Abby, as much as we love it. First of all, can we remind the listeners of your set-up at home with the kids? How many have we got? We've got four kids.

We've got three under five. Okay, so can you run us through the ages? Sophia is 10. Liberty's five johnny's three and the gift from god is one one gift from god oh wow the gift from god and on top of this you was texting me before this it's quite stressful in your household because of the amount of animals you've got yeah we've just got um five little ducklings but only two of them have hatched at the moment. Yeah. And we've got two orphan lambs that we're bottle feeding. And the last three kids are still bottle and dummy,

so I'm not doing very well, really. So you've got three kids and two lambs all on the bottle at the same time. At least they're not all breastfeeding. That would be a nightmare. Good job you've got them on the bottle. I've got no breasts, so you can't have that. Do you live in the countryside, then? No.

Fair enough. Kind of. I think I'm just kind of trying to live the childhood I wanted through my own children. Okay. Like, we were never allowed pets or anything like that, so I just try and give them as many pets as I can. Have you got cats and dogs as well? Yeah.

Two cats. Two cats. Our cats are 15. Okay. We got them when me and Pete first got together. We've got our dog, Jeffrey, who we got in lockdown.

Okay. Lockdown dog. And we've got Lily and Lola, the lambs. Yep. And Jemima, the duck. She was hatched today.

And the other one hasn't got a name because he's literally just hatched and then the other three haven't hatched yet. We've got a Great Dane called Ringo who lives here part time. Part time?

What's he doing for the rest of the time? He's at my brother's house the rest of the time. Okay, so that's two dogs. He just needs a little break sometimes, doesn't he? They're quite calm Great Danes

and it's a bit too much but pete's like he didn't want any of these animals and he absolutely loves them he like nurses the lamb as the lamb on his knee feeding it with a bottle wrapped in a little blanket he's just he likes to play this like cruel animal hater role but he loves it yeah but abby before when we were setting up the sound what did peter say to you about bringing back another alive thing to the house? Well, he said if I actually bring one more living thing into this house, he's going to leave me. OK, yeah, so are you sure that he's into all these animals?

Well, I'm trying to make him take the hint, that's why I keep getting them. Yeah, because when he was on, he was speaking about the time you were shouting from the background because i asked him if he'd any parenting mishaps and you were shouting tell him about the farm tell him about the farm and he refused to tell us so was the farm the house or was it at a farm so the farm story it was at an actual farm and i went to the toilet i was gone for one second and i come back and he was just sitting there and i'm like where's the baby couldn't find the baby anywhere so I was hysterical and he'd escaped out of the contained indoor play area and was like a mile down the road by lambs and a lake or and everything it was so

so I like battered Pete in front of everyone in the farm I Oh, God. Bored at him. I think I threw a cup of coffee on him. You know, it was a nightmare. Because I'm just so worried about anything happening to them. Of course. And he's just far too late. He's just so late back. It's a joke. Imagine the anecdote those people who've gone to the farm have got from that day.

Oh, I know. What did you see? Well, some sheep, and I also saw Abby Clancy throw a coffee on Peter Crouch. It was amazing. I threw the coffee at on Peter Crouch. It was amazing. I threw the coffee at him and punched him. It was like, I don't condone violence at all, but it was out of panic. Yes, I think you could be let off.

Yeah, I was terrified. Yeah, he's just too laid back. And he forgot the baby bag. That's his favourite thing to do. It's like we drove to another country farm. I should have married a farmer, I think. Like this country farm, like two hours away with a newborn baby and like an eight-month-old.

No, not eight-month-old, like a 12-month-old or whatever. And he forgot the baby bag with no milk, no nappies. And I just wanted to kill him. So how's the sort of parenting split? Obviously, because Peter, when he was playing football, was really busy. Now he's retired. He sort of does a bit of work, but not as busy as he's were and you're still modeling and presenting what's the sort of you know divvying up of responsibilities is it more

is it more you than peter that's what i'm getting from this uh i think so because i'm i'm not working as much as pete at the moment because my baby's only one so i'm kind of enjoying just being at home with the kids and when pete goes to work i just throw them at him and he's like I've been in work all day and I'm like tag sure to end now but Pete like I can't complain about Pete there's one thing he is he's an he's an amazing dad like all jokes aside you know no matter how hungover he is how tired he is he's still like a hundred a hundred percent with the kids where I'm like normally dying somewhere oh i can't do it if i'm hungover i'm such a bad hungover parent it's horrible isn't it it's just like puts me off i swear the kids the drinks make kids get louder the next day i don't know what it is but just something just sends them over the edge and mine mine are all too young to just get

on the couch and watch a movie it's just like they're not movie age. You have to just play with them all day. Are you finished at four? Yeah. Is that sort of your, sort of, like, if you sort of, like, it's your opium, it's getting off the heroin of kids. You're starting with farm animals.

I was actually finished with three. Yeah. And then I found, like, I went for a fitting and they were like, the girl's like, are you pregnant by any chance? She could tell by my body.

Really? That's how you found out? I was like, no chance. by any chance? She could tell by my body. Really? That's how you found out? I was like, no chance. And then I did a test and called Pete. And he was in the car with Glenn Johnson. And I was like, Pete? I was like, Pete, I've got something to tell you. And he went, if you're about to say what I think you're about to say,

just don't say it. And he had another two hours left until he got home. And I was so scared. And then he got home and he was like, I've had time to think and it's OK. Oh, my God. So it was a complete surprise. It was a surprise. We hated each other at that point as well.

So I don't even know how I got pregnant. I'll be quite honest. Like the pregnancy with Johnny was hell. Johnny's your youngest, yeah? No, Johnny's the three-year-old. Okay, cool. Yep. So I hated him.

He hated me, and I don't even know how it happened. That's why we call him the gift from God. But you know what? He's just wonderful. He's just fabulous, and he's just fitted in so well, and he's not one bit of trouble. So it's 8.15pm at the moment.

They're all in bed, Josh. We've got it down. That's amazing. How have you done it? I was the first out of my friends to have my babies and um i would always feel bad about letting them down for like an event or going around to theirs for dinner or whatever and all my friends just bail i can't do it i've got the baby and they've got one i'm like you're so pathetic like me Me and Pete laugh at people and go like, oh God, look at them moaning about one child or two children.

We've got four. You know, so we feel quite smug about that. But you know, they're in bed now. Jack goes to sleep seven till seven, but Johnny and Lib are in our bed now and then we'll have to get them out of our bed. Oh, okay. So what's the bedtime schedule then?

Do you try and bath them all together or is there a rota? They're all in the bath together. What time's that? I'm obsessed with people's schedules, I know what you're saying. We eat early. We eat about half five. And do you and Peter eat at half five as well or is it just the kids? And that's it? Well, no, then we have like

Pete will bring me like a cup of tea and Bicky's in bed at like ten. And he'll have like toast or whatever. Or a pot noodle, which makes me sick. of tea and Bicky's in bed at, like, ten. And he'll have, like, toast or whatever. Or a pot noodle, which makes me sick. Oh, God. Pot noodle in bed? No, not in bed. Before bed.

All right. And I can't get my head around an athlete that would, even though they know all about nutrition, he's still banging back a pot noodle. Yeah, he loves them artificial ready meal things. Is it called, like, a Rizzler's burger or whatever? Oh, no. Oh, Russler's. Rizzler's burger or whatever? Oh, no. Oh, Rustler's.

Rustler's, oh, they're awful. Anything like that, he loves. I think it's because he's been so deprived his whole life, being an athlete, and having to eat so well. Yeah. He's like kind of binging on junk. So they all get in the bath together in one go.

So they all get in the bath together, then I try and keep them in there as long as possible to like waste some time. Yeah. And then out about half six, then Joe Armies, then we play run, catch before bed. So that's where they just, like, run on the landing and we have to catch them.

Yeah. And then put them into bed. So that lasts about half an hour. Then Jack goes down and then Liberty and Johnny go in our bed. Yeah. Our kids aren't, like, big for stories. You know, we try and do that whole story thing and go to bed, but they don't want it.

So we just put like something on for 10 minutes and they fall asleep. And then we put them in their bed. And then when we go to bed about half an hour later, Johnny comes in with us. He sleeps there all night. And then we've got a single mattress on the floor next to our bed where Liberty sleeps.

Really? Yeah. And then Liberty gets out of the single bed and in our bed. And then Pete goes on the single mattress on the floor next to our bed where Liberty sleeps. Really? Yeah, and then Liberty gets out of the single bed and in our bed, and then Pete goes on the single mattress on the floor. But every night, like clockwork, wow. What a set-up. That's amazing. They're so good, but there's just too many of them. We have to kind of bend the rules a bit.

You know, the schedules just don't... The routines are just... We've got our own little routine going on and it works. Well, yeah, exactly. And then how do... What's the responsibilities with the lamb? Who's in charge of the lambs in your house? Me.

So Peter will not be involved in that. You're taking more on? I'm only fostering them from a friend of mine who's a farmer. Oh, OK. And one of the mums died and the other one had triplets. So they normally give the third baby lamb a way to be bottle fed or the farmer will do it.

Oh, okay. So I volunteered. So they're just in your garden for a bit until they can go out when they're grown up, basically. Grown up. After sheep uni. To try and get a shed next day delivery is impossible, by the way.

Just saying. For them to go in at night. So where are they at the moment? Because you sent me a photo of them in the back of your car. Oh, thanks for that, Rob. So that was me trying to multitask because I was trying to get the lambs. I was taking the lambs to the vet and I brought them outside into the driveway, but I had to put Jack in the car seat

and the lambs would run away, so I had to put the lambs on the seat first. So I put Jack in the car seat and then I put the lambs in the cage in the boot. Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, fair enough. But I've never seen anything like just two lambs. But they're just sitting there, just riding shotgun.

Yeah. That just cracked me up. They're so cute. They're so cute, though. It must just feel so busy. Do you know what I mean? I mean, that's just like four kids, two lambs, one chick soon to be followed by four.

Two chicks. Ducklings, actually. I don't want to get all Chris Packham about it, but they're ducklings, not chicks. Oh, sorry, mate. Sorry. Or they're still called chicks. I don't know.

A dog and a half, two cats. It's so, like... And I've got OCD as well, so I can't have any mess in my house. Oh, my... No.

It just makes me so unhappy if there's any mess. So how does that work? Was your house growing up busy like this? You said you wanted a different household to you as a kid.

Well, no, I'm one of four, so I'm used to, like... Oh, you're used to it. Yeah. I'm used... Pete didn't you're used to it. Yeah. Pete didn't have a family like mine. Yeah. So I think he kind of likes it,

you know, like the busyness of it all. But it's just great, like especially in lockdown. I know it was hell, but having that time to all be together. Yeah, totally. You know, Pete's work, like the last three months of my last pregnancy, Pete was in Burnley in a five-star hotel

eating Michelin star meals every night. Well, I was like dying nine months pregnant and had all three. Oh, man. All so he could play for Burnley. I mean, that is not worth it, is it? No, I know. And I tried to take them there one day and I was pregnant. And we all went, I got a driver, take us all to Burnley.

Packed lunches made, massive faff getting everyone in the car, blah, blah. And Pete called me and was like, where are you? I wasn't looking out the window. And I was like, I'm by Dover. The driver had gone the wrong way. What? And he had Dover. Oh, my God.

We were stuck in a traffic jam for three hours on the way back. So we literally were in the car for seven hours. Oh, my. Oh, my word. All the kids so we literally were in the car for seven hours oh my oh my word all the kids in burnley kits in the car it was just hell on earth oh my god dover is so far from burnley that cab fare you could have bought burnley a player i wasn't even looking out the window paying attention i was just like playing with the kids. And then he was like, where are you? And I looked at Stan, I was like, Dover. So we missed the match.

But I wasn't a big fan of going to football anyway. I've hardly ever been. I don't like it. Not interested? No. And are your kids into it? My little boy, Jack, is like obsessed. He's one.

If he sees a stone on the floor, he's kicking it. A grape, a ball, a golf ball, a ball. He's just constantly playing football he's just obsessed but the others aren't too too bothered about it and did they obviously were they too young or not born when you were on strictly and things like that because i know my daughter's just young now but gets obsessed with that show so to see their mum on it and obviously you went on to win it did they see it or do you watch old episodes with them because they must love to see that sophia was about four i think when she when i was on there ah perfect but she makes these um

little videos with a friend they're like these like kind of youtube videos and she'll be like hi my mom's abby clancy she won strictly who are you and then my friend owns a trampoline park in liverpool and she's like hi i'm harriet my mom is stacy barton she owns a trampoline park in Liverpool. And she's like, hi, I'm Harriet. My mum is Stacey Barton. She owns the trampoline park, Spring City in Liverpool. They're having like a mum off. Yeah. Who's like the coolest mum.

But no, she did love it, Sophia. She used to like dress up in all the dresses. But I think it's a bit too young. Yeah, it is way too young. The others haven't got a clue who we are, really. What was it? Peter was saying that he dropped off your daughter to a birthday party and then she made him sit in the car because she was embarrassed by him.

Is that...? She didn't let him go in because he was too tall. And then once all the boys knew it was Peter Crouch, he was like, Dad, can you pick me up? Because Pete was so upset. Oh, really? Yeah, he was, like, devastated. But once all pete was so upset like oh really yeah he was like devastated but once all the boys were like oh my god your dad's peter crouch he was like

showing off then but my other daughter won't even let me kiss peter she's like stop kissing my dad you're gonna give him coronavirus that's the new thing so i'm literally not i'm not allowed to touch pete and with the coronavirus and stuff. So with that spread of ages, presumably the 10 year old obviously is totally aware of what's happening. It was easy to explain to the five year old. Did you want to insulate them from stuff like that or? Liberty is terrified of everything. She's like me.

She's such a worrier. Like she's scared of people. Like if the, if the baby's like jumping on the bed, she's like, I can't look. She's so worried. And she was quite worried about the coronavirus and as a parent we're all going oh we have to isolate coronavirus and and you you don't realize that they're actually taking all of this in massively and she'd she started school has she started yeah she's in school was that so it was the same as my same age as my daughter then so they started this september just gone she's six in june so she's in year one now oh so she's in school. So it was the same age as my daughter then, so they started this September just gone? She's six in June, so she's in year one now.

Oh, so she's in year one. Oh, so she'd already been there for a year and stuff. Yeah, she's already did reception. Because it's hard doing any sort of homeschooling with a five-, six-year-old, because you can't give them a bit of work. You've got to be with them all day. Did you bother with the homeschooling?

No, I didn't. I was like, they used to call me Miss Trunchbull and Pete was Miss Honey. Like, if the girls go, oh, Dad, I can't do this, I'm tired. He'd go, come on then, let's go in the garden and play. And I'd be like, sit down now! I couldn't get through to them.

If you do your work, then we can have the rest of the day. They'd be like, you're not my teacher. That's not how you do it. And of course, all the methods have changed since we were at school. It's like, what's leapfrog and all these mad stuff? And it's like two add two, but you've got to do this mad roundabout way

to get to two add two. So yeah, it was quite tough, but we got through it. Yeah. I think it's like childbirth. You know, at the time it's horrendous, but you kind of forget about the pain of it I think we're through it now and it's like it all seemed like it was okay yeah but at the time it probably wasn't yeah because I think people have really weird uh experiences of childbirth where some people say how magical it is and in our experience obviously like you know it was Lou had a really stressful time with it

but it can be horrible and even now Lou looks back and isn't that stressed by it. I was like, it was horrendous. What's happened to your brain? You think, no, it wasn't too bad. I was the opposite. Like, I had four horrendous pregnancies. Really? Where I was vomiting every single day.

Headaches. Like, felt car sick all day, 24 hours a day. Everything I ate, I vomited. But my births were just like absolutely perfect really oh wow yeah and i felt guilty for feeling so good after giving birth because everyone's like oh my god you feel like you're gonna die you feel like your bum's gonna fall off you know you know it's the worst pain in the world and you're going to feel like this and that and I just felt fantastic really I just I just want I had my baby at babies and I was home within hours and I was just oh wow I just felt incredible and I had full natural births but my pregnancies were just

another thing I was so so sad for the whole time I was because I was so ill and I couldn't yeah I couldn't look I couldn't even look after my other children because I was so ill. And I couldn't, yeah, I couldn't even look after my other children because I was that ill. It was horrendous. Really? It did not put you off then, having more then, sort of knowing it was going to be like that? Yeah.

At least the birth wasn't horrendous. At least that bit was nice at the end. The births were all good. The births were good. I actually laughed. I actually laughed Jack out. Laughed him out? You laughed him out?

I laughed him out because the doctor was like, push, and I was like, I'm pushing. And he was like, that's not a push. So I laughed, and he was like, there's your baby. Oh, my God. Did you just try a laugh to see if it would work, or did something make you laugh? Why were you laughing?

He made me laugh because he said that wasn't a push. So I laughed and then he was... And it came out. Wow. Can't imagine if it was that easy for everyone.

There'd be so many more people in the world. I did have an epidural to be fair with all of them. Yeah, Lou had that on the second one and it was...

I mean, it's so hard to talk about as a bloke. It seemed easier the second time. From from my view rob you told me that you thought she was complaining over nothing that's what you were saying to me before yeah a load of old waffle i remember with my um when i had the old blur into one actually when i had liberty pete had a um a double hernia operation and was ill in hospital. So the next day he had to go in to get it done. Bearing in mind I'd just come home hours previously from giving birth

and he forgot his charger and he called me and said, can you bring my charger in to the hospital? I'm like, I've literally just given birth. No, piss off. I think because of obviously having the epidural and I did have really, thank God, great births. I was kind of upset that it looked so easy, like because I got no sympathy.

Yeah, exactly. It's absolutely a breeze. You want someone to go, oh my God, you look shit. Are you okay? Yeah, I literally wanted to be nursed but no chance and how was it well you know obviously when footballers when peter was working and and the kids are really young was it it must have been hard because you can't really complain like if you know you've got if you're married to a footballer and people perceive your

life to be in a certain way and you do have certain luxuries but if you're stuck at home with a kid it doesn't matter what your husband does or where you live or what you're doing and you can't really complain about it it must be quite difficult sort of doing that on your own I think that is a thing that you know no matter where you live or you know every try and say this in the right way but everyone's kind of experience is the same you still have sleepless nights you still have like a baby who's crying you have to it's hard work but i was so fortunate to have my family like my mom and my sister were always with me when i didn't have pete so i've never actually been on my own yeah you need a support network it's so hard you definitely you definitely do and luckily my family were always willing to help me and wanted to not so so much now. Yeah, exactly. Trying to get a babysitter for four kids.

Oh, my word. When half my family live in Liverpool. It's just impossible. Yeah, because that is a tough gig, isn't it? For the babysitter, and then you can't rely on favours too much. No, and then I'll just worry anyway. I think, oh, God, are they coping with four? And I don't want anything to happen to them or anything.

Would you get, like, two babysitters in? I do. Yeah, I have to get, like, my mum and my sister or a babysitter that we use with my mum. Oh, really? It's just impossible because they're all on different time schedules, different sleep. And especially in the morning, if it's a school morning

and, like, say you're not there in the morning or something, if you go away overnight, all the different drop-offs, the time that you've got, I've only got two in there mine and I forget. Do you know what I mean? What time they've got to be places. I know. Have you left them? Have you been, have you been away without them?

Like on a holiday, just you and Peter or weekend away? Yeah, we have. We have. I think, I actually do think that's important to be honest. Yeah, me too. But we actually spend the whole holiday looking at pictures of the kids. Oh, look how cute that one is. Me too. But we actually spend the whole holiday looking at pictures of the kids. Oh, look how cute that one is.

How cute does Liberty look there? And then you're like, oh, I miss them. And then we get home and they're like, hi, Mum. And you're like, I've been pining for you for like three days and you don't even care that I've gone. How do you feel about them growing up? Obviously, because your eldest is 10 now. You know, only a couple more years and they're going to be teenagers and they've been going out on their own and seeing their friends.

Are you a parent that's, like, excited for that and encourage them, or do you want them just in your little sort of safety bubble of just them being little? Oh, I'm terrible. I don't even let them go on the school bus trips. Like, I'm just... Really? Yeah, I'm just... I'm a nightmare. I'm such a worrier and I wouldn't let them go on the bus

or anything like that like on to a trip and i've been i've been the volunteer loads of times on the school trips yeah what's that like i had to go in this like it was like a viewing platform but it was so high and i'm terrified i hate so all the kids wanted to go in the viewing platform that i i was in charge of and i was like no we're not going up there and they were all hysterical crying i just terrified a height i wouldn't do it um but no i i love doing that and pete went to um wisley gardens with them all they were all like they all just couldn't believe how tall he was running through his legs and stuff like that the kids obviously aware that he's tall because he's just dad isn't he because obviously like even if he wasn't famous

he'd get attention for his height but do they is it like they're like you are quite tall aren't you dad because they're just i think when you're growing up everyone's like your own parents don't you they don't notice it because they're all so tall all of them like because i'm quite tall i'm five foot nine six seven like my 10 year olds like up to there on me um yeah my three year olds in like five six clothes i'm a one year olds in four to five you know the massive my 10 year old wears my clothes are you sure you're 10 year olds 10 she sounds like she's about 15 the way she looks. Have you added it up right? You'd think she's 15. He caught her twerking in the mirror to that tits. Oh, no.

That's every dad's nightmare, isn't it? And she opened the mirrors. She's got, like, mirrored wardrobes, and she opened the mirrors so now you can get, like, a 360 angle. She was like Nicki Minaj in the mirror. Really? It's like we will not be having them moves in our house. So how do you deal with that then?

Because you can't really tell a kid not to dance, but then that is a bit of a rude dance. I don't know. It's just so weird. Now I get it. You know when you were young and a teenager

and your mum's shouting at you for like wearing a scare too short or wearing too much make, well, obviously not YouTube. Do you remember that, Rob? Yeah, yeah, big time. You know, like nagging parents when they're like, can't do this you can't do that i'm that parent now it's just so scary how much time flies and you know i don't even know like you put the radio

on they know every word to every song i'm like where are you listening to this song we're only in the car for two minutes going to school it's so scary scary, so I try and, like, shield it as much as I can. You can't stop it, can you, in getting older? No. No, but I also feel like we're kind of, we're friends with our kids. I always want my daughter's friends to come to our house. Yeah. I think that's a good technique.

Make your house the fun house and always have them over. That's what you need. You need more living things in your house. Just get them and bring them in. Like a boarding school. You know what? I wouldn't mind that, actually. I was quite good at the homeschooling,

so I reckon I could do that. Do you have sleepovers, or do they go to sleepovers? What's the age when that's allowed, or have you done any of that yet? Sophia's had a few sleepovers, but they do it here. Yeah. Because I don't like staying out. I sound like such a boring mum don't know because i was thinking about the other day because obviously mine started school and they're making friends want to go around for like dinners and

stuff when it's like i want to go in for a sleepover for me to let my daughter sleep in someone else's house i'd think i need a six month interrogation of everyone that lives in the house i can't even imagine i'll be okay with it as long long as they're home, you know that they're okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, under your roof, you know they're fine. So I'd rather have all the sleepovers in ours. But then our house is really boring, according to Sophia.

Oh, for her it is, yeah, but it's not for... I mean, duckling. It's really boring. Is that part of it? Having all these ducks and the lambs, it's going to make kids want to come over? Is it almost like pimping up your house? They don't want to play with the ducks and the lambs.

They want to go in my wardrobe and my makeup. Oh, right. Oh, God. At 10. Jesus, I'm panicking now. Rob is in a real panic. I'm panicking. I'm going to lose my kid.

You've got five years, Rob. Five years left. It's so hard. But you also can't change someone's personality either. Yeah. No. You know, I've got four children and they're all so different and we haven't done anything differently.

Yeah. They're just their own people. And I think, you know, if you're shouting at them all the time, they're not going to open up to you. Yeah, of course. You know, I want them to be able to speak to me with any problem and not be scared to, oh, I can't tell my mum this because she'll go mad. Yeah.

And do you think seeing like you say they're all different personalities and stuff and like do you think you can see those personalities really early like early on yeah totally mine have been born the way it sounds been born the way they are if that makes sense yeah are they all different or are they all like a couple of them quite similar like or are they all really their own personalities? Jack's just like a proper brute. Like he runs into walls and bounces off and laughs. Like Johnny is like so delicate and he's like,

he wants to be a rainbow mermaid that strokes dolphins when he's older. Liberty is constantly dressing him up in like princess dresses dresses and yeah all put makeup on him liberty and johnny are just inseparable like it breaks my heart watching them because they just love each other so much and they just play lovely and then sophia's just like very independent she's not a brat oh and she's not cheeky and she's not rude but she's just she knows what she wants kind of so there's a five-year age gap, so she must be very much like, I'm the grown-up one, they're the younger babies. It's sort of like she must feel a bit, you know.

Yeah, and I think that's hard for her in a way because every time we do, like, a family day out, we're always going to, like, an indoor play or a farm and it's all very swayed towards the little ones. And she's like, ugh. It's a bit like what I was in my family, really. What number were you in your family? I'm the oldest.

You're the oldest. But I was a lot more, like, motherly than Sophia. Like, she'll see the baby crying and be like, ugh. I'd be like, oh, the baby. Like, Liberty's more like me. Like, she'd, like, want to pick them up and nurse them or whatever. Sophia's like, oh, tell that baby to shut up. She sounds amazing.

Yeah, she is great. All got Southern accents and I've always asked her that, I guess. How do you feel them not sounding like you? Well, my dad wasn't too happy that they didn't have Liverpool on their birth certificate. Oh, really?

Where were they born? They were born in London. Yeah, well, that would answer it, wouldn't it? I mean, you can't do fraud. Just lie. But I remember Sophia is so posh. And I took her on the tube. We took her out to go and see a theatre show.

And we took her on the tube and I was like, do not touch that pole. It's full of germs. She's like, mummy, what's germs? I was like, germs? She went, oh, you mean germs. She's so posh. They're all very well spoken which is like my nan before she died she was like make sure these kids don't have that scouse accent like you so she she'll be happy up in heaven that

they all speak really nice but so sophia did start off with a scouse accent i remember when she was a baby and she used to be in a high chair and she'd be like i'm stuck i'm stuck yeah when you go back to liverpool then are your brothers and your siblings all in liverpool still or have they moved moved around everyone's in london now apart from my dad oh god yeah so everyone's all the grandchildren will have you know a southern accent yeah so i've got i've got one brother who's in dubai and my brother and sister my sister's a hairdresser in london and my brother's a musician and my mum lives here too so everyone's here now scouse has taken over do you like take them back to liverpool and show them where you came from and stuff like that do they would you do a three and four hour journey with four kids

wow i'd end up in dover, wouldn't I? That's what would happen. Here's the famous White Cliffs of Liverpool. Yeah, exactly. We always have these ideas. Let's do these amazing days for the kids. And they're just hell on earth. Yeah. We went to Tiger Lodge.

Have you been there? Is that in Portland? In Portland, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a house of a tiger. Obviously, in the tiger enclosure, it's a house of a tiger. Obviously, it's in the tiger enclosure. It's a big glass wall in the accommodation. So you're sort of in the front room with the tiger enclosure. Oh, my word.

You thinking of getting a tiger? No. But we went there and it was, we thought it'd be so magical. The kids are screaming that they were all freezing, walking around, see the animals, didn't care about one animal. And this fabulous cabin. It's beautiful. I've seen it. It's near me.

It's really lovely there. Oh, it's just incredible. Pete made the log fire, which really impressed me. Like, I was like, oh, you're such a man. Like... I've always wanted him to build something, and he never has. So when he made this fire, I was like, oh, you are hot. You know?

Like, really fancied him. I leave some water for a pot noodle. That's all it was. Get all the kids to bed. Let's have a nice glass of wine in front of our log fire. No. We ended up with all of us in one room with two metal pull-out beds. And I had to sleep in the middle on the floor in between the two metal beds

with two bottles in either hand and feed them lying on the floor. Why did you take the lambs? And then we left. We just left. We just said, what's the point in this? I find that sometimes I go, right, we're going to go do this or go to Disneyland Paris, and it's a big gesture, especially I've been working a lot, and I come home and go, right, we're going to do this now.

All that hard work was worth it, but they don't want to. They'd rather just have a McDonald's and go to the park and see their nan and grandad yeah i'm not bothered about big things like that it's mad isn't it and you try so hard to do stuff for them and they don't care which is sort of quite nice in a way but you sort of think it's a tiger here did the tiger make noise and scare them we only saw the tiger once really luckily because because our kids get up at half five we were up at half five so managed to see the tiger all right if the tiger going fucking nice and early start on it

so who does the um who does the early start do you both get up at half five no we kind of we put pj masks on for about an hour. Okay. In the bed, in the bedroom. So you stose in with that on. Yeah. So we just get them all in bed with a bocky. And that's a bottle of milk. A bocky. Oh, is it a bit scouser?

A bit scouser. And yeah, we just let them watch TV for... Our parents sound so bad, doesn't it? No, it's not. I do the same. No, everyone does. Not at all. It's survival.

You need that sleep. You were your better mum because you've had that hour of sleep. But half six is still horrible. I know. To get survival. You need that sleep. You're a better mum because you've had that hour of sleep. But half six is still horrible. I know. It's awful. I know. It's only Jack who sleeps. He gets up at seven and he's like, looks gorgeous. But even that's a joke, isn't it? Seven. You say that like it's... I can't believe

how much my perception of time has changed in the last three years of my life. Like, a seven was inhumane before i had a kid and now it is like a promised land i'm never gonna go back to i know i start like phone and like once you're up and you're down in the kitchen at breakfast and then like start phoning people and it's like 7 45 and everyone's like are you okay i was having calls from you at 7 45 i'm like oh yeah i'm just oh that's my day.

I'm awake now. My mum and dad, right, they're in their 70s. Well, my dad's in his 70s. My mum's younger. But they will get up at like half 11 in the morning. Oh, God, it's a dream. And sometimes I ring them at like half nine, no, 10 actually, about 10.

And they're like, oh, you're right. What's going on? I'm like, fuck off. I get angry that people have been in bed. And all like your friends who don't have kids and if you have like a few drinks and go out and they're just lounging and eating all day yeah i just the ability to enjoy a hangover is like one of the things i'm most jealous of just to go i'm gonna do nothing today and that's fine yeah but people who can do that

i'd say that's the thing i'm most jealous of my friends who haven't got kids i actually miss them hangovers like me and pete used to make when we were i've no kids we used to make this thing called floor bed and it just is to get all the quilts on the floor and loads of pillows and just lie on the floor all day like watching sopranos like on repeat and getting takeaway and sort of embracing it and leading into it. You'd only stand up to go the loo or to eat. I remember feeling like they were quite hard at the time as well. I would die for that. And then texting your mates going, oh, how are you doing? I've been sick, but I've just had a bowl of cereal.

I think I'm going to be all right. Do you remember last night? Oh, weren't it great? Fancy the pub at four to get a little... Oh, yeah. Care of the dog. I don't think that'll ever happen again. No, no.

For at least the next ten years. I know, I think it will. We spoke about this. We were all going to go mental at 50 when they're all, like, grown up and at uni. Yeah. And just absolute animals going around getting drugged. There she is now, Sophia.

Just been talking about you. Aunt Sophia's here. Just telling them how gorgeous you are. She's just come back from swimming. Oh, right, wow. That's a late one. She's our champion swimmer. Oh, is she?

So are they quite sporty then, being children of a top sportsman and top dancer? Sophia is. She's just an amazing sporty person. Doesn't got any of that from me she's just unreal swimmer

all she wants I'm like what do you want to be when you're older and she's like a white Range Rover that's what she wants I was like

well you can't have a white Range Rover until you're top of the class at school and you're 50 she's like shut up mum does that mean

you spend a lot of your time like swimming and all those kind of like because when you've got kids that. Does that mean you spend a lot of your time, like, swimming and all those kind of, like, because when you've got kids that are really sporty, there must be a lot of kind of faring them around to do that and stuff. Yeah, so Sunday, for example, with Hangover, we went to Liberty.

I'd swim in at 12. So I dropped her off at swimming, which is for half an hour. So I had to go back, pick Pete and the other three up. Then we went for lunch. And in the golf club, there's a swimming pool. So I had to go back, pick Pete and the other three up. Then we went for lunch and in the golf club, there's a swimming pool. So the kids went swimming. While Pete was in the pool with Johnny, Jack and Lib, I had to take Sophia swimming.

Then come back because Liberty had a nosebleed in the pool. Oh no. We had to evacuate the pool. Oh no. COVID central. I took the bag with me in the car. So they all had to stay in the pool because they had no clothes. So that was our Sunday.

It's just like a lot of ferrying two and four. Yeah, well, when they get a bit older as well, and they're all doing clubs, your weekend's going to be outrageous. The logistics of getting here and there and everywhere. She only does the swimming. Like, that's literally all I can manage. I just can't do it anymore. No, no, I think you can do too many clubs.

Because we're not pushy like that, really. Yeah, some parents are so keen, aren't they? Oh, my God, so keen. Like, so keen. And we're just quite relaxed about that kind of thing. But she's so good at it, you see. She's so good at swimming, naturally. Yeah.

Yeah, that must make her hate it even more, the other parents. Yeah, I'm like, she hasn't even had a lesson. She's just a natural. I love winding them up, you know, in the school. I love it.

That's a shit sport, though, to have to sit in and watch when it's a hot day. No, it's not. It's great. Is it? It's great. Well, obviously,

your kid must be coming last then. No, I'm just the environment, a swimming pool where you're not swimming. I love it. Do you? I absolutely... Because Sophia is like a whole length ahead. Oh, OK. Come on!

I'm such a cow on the sideline. I just love it. Really? Are you a bit competitive or do you just celebrate loud? Not in life and not for myself, but something comes over me. Like, because you would think Pete being like a professional athlete would be so pushy with the kids for sports. And he's not.

He's like, it's okay, babe. You know? And I'm like, focus. I'm so bad. Really? I think it's probably because I was rubbish at every sport. Yeah. Just to see him'm so bad. Really? I think it's probably because I was rubbish at every sport. Yeah. Just to see her do so well, it's great.

It's so competitive in the school. And because we're not like them competitive parents. It makes it sweeter, doesn't it? It makes it even more fun. So I actually do enjoy that. But she hates it. She doesn't want to go. And there's like crying. Oh, really? Even though she's good? Yeah. They've got to do it. They've got do enjoy that. But she hates it. She doesn't want to go. And there's like crying.

Oh, really? Even though she's good? Yeah. They've got to do it. They've got to enjoy it. There's no point, isn't it? You know, you don't want to... The amount of time you see people

that really force their kids to do stuff, they don't want to do it. It's a nightmare. But I think all kids go for that stage over sport or something where they're like, they're just a bit bored of it. And they're like, no, I don't want to do it anymore. That's not cool.

Or that's not this. Or that's not that. But they come back to it in the end. I think it's the age. It's like this pre-teen is just so tricky. Oh God, don't say that. I'm panicking about teen. Never mind pre-teen. Rob's having an absolute

nightmare here. I'm having a panic. I'm panicking again. I move and I panic. She's five, Rob. I reckon two more years when she's about seven. When she's seven, that'll be you. I agree with you, Josh. Oh, no, no. You're ganging up on me now.

It's dark. I'm stressing, I'm stressing. But I think you'll get a lucky escape because I don't know if your daughter's like a daddy's girl. Yeah. Or is she a mummy's girl? No, they're both a bit,

they're both a bit like, I think they're more daddy's girl in the sense that they've got me wrapped around their little finger. Sure. Which is a danger because they're so cute but yeah i don't know it'll be all right it'll be all right when it'll be it'll probably all be fine won't it pete's experience of because liberty's still a baby she's not doing any all this shit at the

moment but pete's experience of sophia is completely different to mine like if he if he was to describe Sophia it would be like we were talking about a different child oh really well like my wife clashes with my eldest quite a lot in sort of like a bit more like on like they're on a level of like they're arguing a bit like mates where I'm a bit like yeah let's go and do this where they clash a little bit I don't think girls clash with their mums a little bit especially the eldest yeah they do I can say I don't really like it though i wish i wish she thought i was cool yeah that'll happen in 10 years time yeah it just does not now there's nothing you can do

to make her think you're cool even even you know but they'll just realize you are that's what i'm hoping with me you may not think i'm cool but you one day you'll know that one day they'll realize that rob beckett's the height of cool won't they and if they can tell everyone else that'll be great i know i think you're cool rob thanks abby i'll take that off you look at that you're doing great for my confidence um look should we ask the final questions abby abby's been brilliant thanks so much it's been so good thank you abby i think what really comes across as well is like how much you let your kids be themselves i think that's a really positive thing and really like it it sounds like the most fun house to grow up in do you know what i mean it really just comes across thank you and you can tell how much you and pete just like the kids are

your life and then you two fitting around them that's what it feels like which i think's always like a good yeah that's what it is yeah we've actually got no life at the moment it's good though like you know you're saying your eldest says she's 10 and she's obviously aware of who you who you are and who peter is but she's obviously getting her own personality and doing her own thing which is great which you'd much rather have rather than someone who's a bit scared and awkward and sort of in the shadow of what the parents do it's obvious she's really confident which is you know a merit to you two for me me, like, growing up, I've always been really, like, pally with my mum and dad.

Like, we were all, like, friends. And I found it quite upsetting when, you know, children or my friends growing up couldn't be themselves in front of the mums and dads. And they'd be one person with the friends, and then they'd go with the mum and dad and be a completely different person. And that's not what I want in my house.

And my kids, they're all, and I've been joking about them, they're all so polite and so lovely and kind. And I think, you know, we just, as you said, just encourage them to be themselves. And you can't change anyone. You can't make someone who you want them to be. They all are who they are. And as long as they're kind and well-mannered, i don't care you know what they all end up being you know

yeah as long as they're happy i remember friends like that you're out and having a laugh at the park and messing about and then i get home like okay mom yeah you're like a completely different person like how can that happen but yeah we were all ourselves at home but that's something you know hopefully we'll have as well as i mean the, the last question we always ask and we ask Peter as well. So this is quite special for us because you can actually respond to his answer and give your own. The question is, what frustrates you about the way your partner parents and like you would, you know, you want to say something about it, but you don't want to bring it up in case it causes an argument. I've got a feeling you might tell Peter anyway, Abby. You're not shy in a voice in your opinion.

Because he said that he could never just have a bag of frazzles on his own if he opens crisps, about 10 hands go in, and then he finds himself in his office on his own eating frazzles. I don't know if, is that true? That is true. Poor Pete, that happens with every meal. Like, if I put the dinner down, the kids are like, I don't like that. And then if Pete has this all eaten off his plate and me included he hates sharing food he actually doesn't

do that much that annoys me apart from typical man stuff like oh what really annoyed me once that he did like i love doing um interior design and doing stuff in my house and i met like one of my favorite designers andrew martin yeah went to his showroom and pete like disappeared with johnny for ages like johnny was two at the time just potty training gone for half an hour and then in front of andrew martin who's like my icon johnny comes out the toilet with pete with just a t-shirt on with socks no socks trainers and no pants just his bum and Ridgy hanging out. And then he's just standing there

trying to have a normal conversation with Andrew Martin. I'm like dying inside. I was like, what the hell? Johnny pooed his pants. And Pete forgot the baby bag again. So he just had to strip him and like wash him in Andrew Martin's showrooms toilet, like poo everywhere and really embarrassed me.

And then just like, didn't mention it. I was so upset. So I think for Pete, I'd probably say the thing that annoys me most is that he probably, he doesn't appreciate like the organization that goes into things and you have to, you know, like when I go to work, I have to go, right. Who's picking the kids up from school. What's in for the dinner, you know, like when I go to work, I have to go, right, who's picking the kids up from school? What's in for the dinner? You know, blah, blah, blah.

And Pete will just walk out the door. He will just walk out the door. He wouldn't know if there was anything in the fridge. He wouldn't know who's picking them up from school. I think that that's a lot of footballers though, because in their career, a lot is done for them. There's always like a team management

where they just get on the bus or get in the hotel and they get told where they're going and what they're doing so i think i think yeah ask him to plan a golf day he is meticulous it would be breakfast booked this done like he can do anything that revolves around golf oh okay so he can do it but he just taps out. He can do it. Yeah, he taps out. But yeah, I'd probably say that. Just, he's just useless at things. Yeah.

Sometimes. Brilliant. Thanks so much, Abi. It's been brilliant. Really appreciate it. Abi Clancy, absolute pleasure. So good. Thank you. Oh, no, it's been fun.

Oh, no. It sounds like you've got your beautiful family. You and Pete love your kids so much. We, you know, we interview people all the time they talk about their kids and you always get varying degrees,

but you can just tell certain families where you just think, oh, it'd be such a privilege to be part of that family. So I think you're doing a great job. Oh, thank you. We've interviewed some terrible parents. Oh, yeah.

Some really bad parents. You're listening. The stuff me and Josh text each other after. I was shocked about Tom Parry. Tom Parry? Oh, my God. So can I just just the reason i asked you to go on on your podcast i've never i've never listened to a podcast in my entire life four days ago yeah okay even though your husband's got one of the biggest ones in the country not bothered of it when i text you rob i was like i love your pod can i come on because i've never

listened to one and i was i was scared on this journey so, I was like, I love your pod. Can I come on? Because I've never listened to one. And I was scared on this journey. So my brother was like, just listen to this and you'll be laughing your head off. And I literally did eight hours of all your podcasts. And I just think it's incredible. Oh, thanks. It's so funny. And what did you make of the Tom Parry one? I just couldn't believe that he was staying up all through the night.

What the hell? Why does he think that's normal? I literally couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was like, oh my God. Like, it was insane.

Oh, I just, like, I can't believe he's sitting by the side in case the baby moves. I get that because it's like, you you know when you put the

baby to sleep and you're trying to like not wake out you do the commando roll out the bed it was his first kid and i think it's that thing you know when you do something with your kids when in the early days it's different now that you've had four and you're more experienced you've been a mum for 10 years and stuff it's like i think you do for a week you go yeah that's okay what we're doing isn't it but then when you look back you go, and that's why I love that episode so much because he'll look back on that episode and it'll be like listening to a different person, won't it? Oh, no, it's just so funny.

I was crying laughing. We used to write, no one used to feed the baby through the middle of the night. Yeah. Oh, that's what annoys me out of Peter. Oh, go on. I've just remembered. Yeah.

So no one who got a brand new baby and they have like three ounces in the go on. That I've just remembered. Yeah. So knowing you've got a brand new baby and they have like three ounces in the bottle. Yeah. Say of milk. Yeah. I'd feed the baby and you'd make sure all the milk had gone before you finished feeding the baby.

So Pete would feed the baby for about five minutes and they go, oh, he's finished that now. And I'm like, there's only a tiny bit left. I'm like, there was only a tiny bit to start with. So you just held it in there. You know, you know, this is supposed to have three ounces. You'd give it like half an ounce.

And he's like, there's only a tiny little bit at the end. I'm like, but that's all a brand new baby has. Like three ounces. He just didn't get it. So like on his watch, the baby would probably starve. We used to write our times when we fed the baby and be like, we're not going to, and if we miss one, we go, we wouldn't forget that.

And then three hours later, you'd wake up and be like, what time did we feed the baby? And you just couldn't remember. Well, I've got a baby feeding app on my phone that I pay two quid for and I've not deleted it yet. I don't know. Just in case. That's a creepy app to take around with you now, Rob.

Sometimes I look back and say, oh, three ounces this time four years ago. Very exciting. Ready for the next one, Rob ounces this time four years ago. Very exciting. Ready for the next one, Rob? No, I don't want another one. I'm panicking about the ones I've got. I don't need more. I'm at the sweet spot now. I'll probably end up on a golf trip with Peter soon,

so I don't want more kids to stop me going away. Abby, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. Brilliant. Thank you so much. Cheers, Abby. Thank you, guys. Abby Clancy, there we are.

I'm going to say it, Rob. Yes. I love it when people have got reactions to other episodes. It's so funny. Well, I never thought in a million years that at one point in my life, Abby Clancy would be shocked by Tom Parry's parenting. I never thought those two worlds would meet. What a clash of worlds

to come together. Because I can't imagine a person more different to Abby Clancy than Tom Parry. No. Just two lovely people, but I think

if you sat them down, it wouldn't be long before they'd run out of chat. I have never seen Tom Parry. And for two people that I don't think I could imagine running out of chat.

Yeah. But I think it could happen just from such different people that happened with about her and peter in that designer shop that happened to me once in a cinema when my daughter had messed herself right when she was young so i had to literally i threw away her trousers so i run from the cinema to poundland in alpington with my child just top on and coat, no trousers, bum out and everything, and shoes and socks on to buy a pair of jogging bottoms from Poundland.

On the way there, a bloke asked for a selfie. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? My kid's arse is out and you want a picture, you fucking pedo. Ridiculous. Obviously, he just wanted a picture with me, not with the child, but he comes with the package. Abby, I love Abby and Peter. That house that house sounds i'd love them to my parents when you yeah yeah it sounds like such a fun house to grow up in brilliant i like just how

unaffected they are do you know what i mean they're so like yeah very normal peter crouch wandering around having a pot noodle i mean that is pot the pot noodle people will be on him for an advert and can you imagine that? Anyway, that was brilliant. I love Abby and Peter. Well, I'll let you know in the next episode. I've texted Tom Parry

what his response was to Abby Clancy calling him mad. Brilliant. Okay, that was great. Well, I'll see you on Tuesday, Josh, for another chat. Cheers, mate. See you then.

Bye, everyone.