Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP5: Michael Sheen

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP5: Michael SheenJoining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant actor, Michael Sheen. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Josh Middicombe. And I'm Rob Beckett. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob and I discuss what it's like to be a parent during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, in an effort to make some kind of sense of the current situation... And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills... Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping.

Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Well, Rob, I'll stop you there because we've got a very special one. Oh. Yeah, a very special intro. It's not. It's not, is it?

It's only... Well, let's see. Welcome to Lockdown Parenting with Joshua the com and robert's picket there we go oh my god i think i'm gay now it's unbelievable isn't it the timber of the voice cuts through you like a kind of knife so that that's the guy that works your daughter's nursery i know that's a two-year-old uh he's called um they're very full with the French yeah that is Saran who works at my daughter's nursery who there's a lot of excitement about on the

Instagram yes can I hear him again please properly can I give him his full glory yeah of course welcome to lockdown parenting with Joshua Decom and Robert Spicke au revoir I mean is French just a sexy accent generally or is that a sexy With Josh with the con. And Robert's picket. Au revoir. The au revoir is...

I mean, is French just a sexy accent generally, or is that a sexy French? There is no way he is not putting a bit of extra French on that. No, he knows what he's doing. That can't be how he talks day to day. Also, it's too much. Imagine that. You can't be doing that in a nursery, right?

Yeah, exactly. Would you like a balloon animal? A dog or a cat? Too much. Was that good? Was that a good French impression? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with Joshua DeCamp or Robert Beckett. Is that sexy? Yeah, it was quite sexy. Oh, thanks. I liked it. I think it's good to get the message off him. I imagine it'll fly on the social media. Oh, yeah.

Can you hear my daughter kicking off, Rob? Oh, what? We're doing this at about 8pm now. Oh, can you hear that? Yeah. So is that the floor below you? No, two. Two below?

No, two above? Well, one and a half. One and a half, actually. Oh, God! Yeah. Oh yeah oh dear how's it been is this is this indicative of the week well this is because she's had a um she's had a one and a half hour sleep this afternoon oh no she's she's not even napping anymore so absolute carnage oh god that doesn't sound good does it rob oh my word what what time did you go for a nap well we'll work it back i think it's a long story she did so um last night well it's a long story just how quite how bad uh my uh monday was what day are we on now? We're recording on Tuesday. Yes. So I'll take you

through the Monday. Wake up. So I don't know what was bad about that, but it was bad. Oh, your phone's going. Yeah, that's Rose. What she said? She's just luckily it's on a group. It's not a direct text. Oh, I was going to say, because that

is something bad must be happening if you're because this is technically work for you and you you technically work rob you were in the process of doing some of bedtime that's why we started later because you said she should be down by now by then so if you directly text you say i need your help now i think that's a bit harsh but on a group what she said to the group well uh on the group someone else has put that they're having a bad bedtime. Rose has put, God, ours are awful. I knew it would be bad because of the nap. I'm currently being screamed at from the top of the stairs.

Also, once they're potty trained, they make you take them for imaginary wheeze and poos a million times. Yeah, we're going through a real delaying tactic situation here, Rob. Oh, she's back. We have that of the three-year-old. Our three-year-old's doing that at the moment of just constantly delaying it. The pom-pom jar of destiny did help because we threatened pom-poms. Yep, she is crying. So talk to you on Monday.

It was bad. I mean, this is a stressful way to record a podcast, Rob, but I suppose if there's any podcast in the UK you're going to record in this situation, this is the one. It feels like, you know, when, like, ITV have, like, a guy on the ground in a war zone and you've just got, like, a press, you've got a war zone and you've just got like a press. It feels like this microphone just got like podcasting in live podcasting in action.

Oh, my God. This is so stressful. But I just have to plow on, which feels you feel bad. What can I do? What can I do? I wouldn't feel bad. I think you're probably got the best part of this. That's why I feel bad.

Yeah, but don't feel bad. Would you not want me feeling slightly guilt i should be enjoying this moment yeah because you know at some point rose will just be somewhere else doing something and you'll be dealing with it yeah yeah okay i mean it's like you can't spend any positive time feeling guilt yeah you know i mean you can't take the positive activity when you can yeah and i'm sure if this is a horrendous bedtime you'll be the one getting up in the night yes not wrong not wrong it's a trade-off well no we'd both be getting up in the night actually we will both we both well we'll come to that right why do you both get up uh well last night well i will come to that rob okay sorry sorry um you actually do sound

stressed because you're getting a little bit short with me oh no no no it's because i'm only half listening it's bad isn't it go go you tell us what happened um so i woke up yesterday morning exercise first thing that's good yeah yeah i'm trying to do that every morning right and then um it was just one of those days where you know when you're trying to get stuff done and it just you just keep failing yeah so um i then realized i had to do this health test thing for life insurance so you do it via zoom and they send you the things you have to take your own blood yeah so you have to prick your finger i didn't realize you needed to be hydrated for it basically i did i just didn't my blood just wasn't coming i had to prick three separate fingers rob

oh because you'd like got up and done exercise and not drunk much yeah i'm drunk enough i look like i've got stigmata right oh it's not lance armstrong just getting another you know the leader of the good stuff out i couldn't even get far i just needed five meals couldn't get five meals out of my body yeah all right so i sat there for 45 minutes making polite conversation with this woman oh that is so awkward yeah i was meant to take half an hour but obviously the whole thing took an hour once i'd failed to produce blood it was like stage fright it was awful right so then i'm behind already but i'll just go down eventually get upstairs at about half 11 i sit down and literally at that moment rose text me and she's

like have you got that um there's a bit of broken glass that was uh gaffer taped to some shelving right okay uh because i'm worried the cleaner will throw it away and we tidied this room the day before why do you want the broken glass or to fix it fix it okay yeah it. I'll tell you. And I thought I threw that away literally yesterday when I was tidying that room. Oh. Absolute disaster, right? And yeah, because we know Rose loves a knick-knack. And for some people's rubbish would be one of Rose's knick-knacks. I'm like, I look for it, realise I've thrown it away.

I've literally just sat down to do work. Next thing I know, I'm going through the bin bags okay when was the last time you went through a bin bag I didn't think you know it's the kind of thing that would happen in a movie if you're a journalist or something but I've never actually done it I don't think no I think no I don't think I've ever gone for a bin bag normally it's for like cash or jewelry or stuff like that. Lots of broken glass. So we go through the recycling one first.

Obviously, you're a good guy. You recycle. Of course, which is much nicer, the recycling one, to go through. So that's why I went through it first in the hope it'd be in there. But who'd put gaffer tape in the recycling? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. A man that couldn't produce blood and is now not working and scamping around the garden. Anyway, tip out the recycling.

Obviously, my daughter's watching. Obviously, there's some basically rushed off drawings that she's done. The old shit scribbles that you have to pretend to like. Yeah, but we've got 400 of them. So these ones have ended up in the recycling bin. Obviously, she spots them. Yeah. I want some.

Wants them. Do you know what? Took it better than I thought she was going to. Okay, you explained. You explained that, you know. Well, no, we didn't. We let her keep them because you're not going to go, no, these are shit.

They stay in the bin. How did she take it better than you thought she was going to if she got them? Well, I thought she'd realised to if she got them well i thought she'd realized that we thrown them away but she just was like oh there's some of my drawings in the bin and we're like oh yeah okay okay yeah yeah she didn't she didn't put two two and two together and see it as a review so eventually um but then i have to go to the post office to send some blood basically one of those days where everything disappeared you know when you're just... It's like you've had...

That's a day of a pensioner. Yeah. You've had to do a blood test for life insurance. You're going through the bins and they're posting letters at the post office. Oh, mate. Some sort of evacuee. Can't you just get them to get it from your house or something? I had to go and post my blood.

Oh, God, you've such a granddad job. Post your blood. I got life insurance right and then when they told me how much it was going to be and i mean can you go away yourself i weighed myself and they said that weight and that height they put another 100 quid no yeah unbelievable so cheap such a grading i'd rather them overcharge me at the start don't bang it on at the end oh now we know your way that's an extra hundred quid it's such a normal amount i'd rather okay let's just say this don't charge the extra hundred and then when i die whatever you were going to give me knock hundred off anyway sorry you say you're the post office you've been through the bins your old days are right off by the end of the day right you're late to bridge club it's a nightmare it's done stop for you. Evening.

I'm very stressed. You've not got any of your work done, as you're supposed to. I haven't got any work done. Evening, go to bed, wake up at half midnight, like, because I'm stressed. Okay.

Then I'm lying there thinking about tomorrow. It's going to be a write-off as well. This is unbelievable. Okay, yeah. So you're in a bit of bad form. Yeah, it's got in your head. Okay, I'm with you. Half two, my daughter wakes up as well because she's got um blocked nose she's up till

four first and then we're like what are we gonna do she's just just awake yeah we said you want to sleep in our bed we've never oh we've always offered that for three years she's never taken it she only fucking took it oh no what you... You've opened Pandora's box? We haven't. She didn't like it. Why is that? Did you keep pissing yourself in there? She didn't like the electric blanket.

You got an electric blanket? No, I'm joking. Okay, sorry. You got me. I thought you had had one. It's a stiff net thing to have an electric blanket. But she turned it down. You got her in the bed. She didn't like it. Well, we had had one. It's a stiff neck thing to have an electric blanket. But she turned it down. You got her in the bed.

She didn't like it. Well, we had two hours of rubbish sleep till about six or seven. Oh, God. So no one slept all night, basically. No one slept all night, basically. So in the morning, obviously, she's not well, we think. So we're like, obviously, you don't go to the nursery today. Which point, she fucking perks up.

Okay. So you've cancelled nursery we've said to her no we haven't cancelled it with nursery but we've said to her don't go to nursery today we're not going to send you to nursery today and i don't think you should backtrack on that and then go sorry we lied see you later yeah of course but she's perked up when she's heard she's not she's literally pushing all the chairs into a line in the kitchen to make it into a train within 10 minutes of us saying, no nursery today. You're expecting her cold up on the sofa with an iPad, watching films and her favourite teddies, doing nothing all day.

Yeah, and what we've got is a fucking train in the kitchen. Anyway, then this afternoon, she falls asleep for an hour and a half on the sofa. Oh, okay. And now not going to bed. Now not going to bed. Also, she pissed herself on the sofa. What was this?

When she was asleep, because obviously she normally, she's still at the stage of sleeping in a nappy. So there you go. But she does seem to quieten down now. Hopefully she's asleep or she's in your bed. Oh my God. I'm going to stay up here. she's asleep or she's in your bed oh my god i'm gonna stay up here shall we uh should we do today's guest i think we should should we get it's a great guest i think we're gonna enjoy it we're gonna enjoy this one we have michael sheen star of uh frost nixon

um the damn united based in good omens at the moment oh yeah he's a he's a great United he's in good omens at the moment oh yeah he's a great guest he's quite unique he's got like a grown up daughter he's like 20 and then like an 18 month old so it's quite interesting seeing it from those two very opposite ends so yeah it's a great episode

hope you enjoy it and I hope you feel better soon Josh, more sleep thank you hello Michael Sheen how are you I'm and I hope you feel better soon, Josh. More sleep. Thank you. Hello, Michael Sheen. How are you? I'm very well, thank you, Joshua. Hello, Robert.

Oh, hello, Michael. This is very exciting to have you on. Yeah. I've worked with you on the movie show, the panel show. Yes. Not in any actual proper acting jobs, though. But it's lovely to have you on. Well, I mean, you say that. You say that.

But I feel like we have. We have done Frost-Nixon together I feel like we have. We have done Frost-Nixon together. Yes, we have. That's right. Some would say the better version. Some wouldn't agree with that. Also, we got quite sexy of each other, didn't we? That sort of went quite viral with your fans. They liked it. Yeah. With the with the graduate and all that as well. Yeah. You dressed up as as the lady in that. And that Mrs Robinson, yeah. It's quite something to be on the end of. It's funny, quite a few people have said that, actually, Rob. The thing is...

Hence this podcast. The thing is, Michael, when you're on the panel show with you, having a laugh and it's just people joking around and talking about stuff, but then when you do the actual acting scenes it's so intimidating when you see someone who's so good at what they do at an absurdly good level and then you're just sitting there going oh no it's michael sheen's he's doing oh god he's doing acting at me and i've got to say something back um that's the thing isn't it you're telling you're just chatting to me but before you do a scene with you on that show you'll just be chatting

I remember we were chatting about Lloyd Langford who's someone we both know from Port Talbot yes was our old paper boy your old paper boy that's right

and some spurious I can't remember I was trying to pass off some spurious story he told about you I can't remember what it was yes something like

you were so good as an actor when you were 11 that they had to cancel the play or something like that I can't remember what it was. Something like you were so good as an actor when you were 11 that they had to cancel the play or something mad like that. I can't remember what it was. There was a riot. There was an actual riot in the school. The Paul Talbot nativity riot. I remember that.

You remember the still talk about it. That's right. We're backstage, aren't we? Waiting before we sort of spin around to do the scene. And we're in some ridiculous costume. We're having a little chat. And then suddenly, see, that's the problem. The stage revolves. And there, they say action.

And I, you know, old habits kick in. You're a different animal, different breed when they say action. It's quite a transformation. You remember about Daniel Day-Lewis. He had to stay in character the whole way through a film. Michael Sheen's not even in character during the word action. Well, it's funny you say that because we mentioned Frost Nixon.

Whenever I see bits of Frost Nixon, if it's on the telly or something, it still amazes me because it was me, Matthew McFadden, who I don't know if you know Matthew, but he's a really funny guy. He makes me laugh so much. Oliver Platt and Sam Rockwell, you know, a whole bunch of people, Toby Jones and Rebecca Hall. And we all had such a laugh in the kind of frost camp on that film because the Nixon, the actor who played Nixon wanted to be in character the whole time. Well, I say that he

wanted everyone to call him Mr. President all the time, which is a slight difference. But nevertheless, so they kept separate. So we were separate and we had to laugh so much. The beginning of almost every scene that involves the Frost Lot begins with people laughing. Everyone thinks that's acting. It's just us messing around in between takes

and then we wouldn't hear Ron Howard say action. So the scene would begin with us laughing and then one of us going, fuck, we're on, we're doing it. So if you watch the film, you'll see loads of that. It makes me laugh so much. So yeah, none of us were in character even after action. I can't wait to watch it back now and try and spot it when you're just pissing yourselves

and you're like, oh no, they've done a work. You know, it's famously Clint Eastwood when he directs films, apparently. And I've spoken to a couple of people who've been in films that he's directed. You don't know that he's actually started filming a lot of the time so you know when you go down to rehearse the scene you have what you call sides in your hand so they're the script pages for that scene you know and they're just sort of smaller versions of it and you have those in your hand and you're just sort of standing there blocking the scene out talking about where you're

going to stand and all that kind of stuff and one of the actors that I that I worked with once who had been just been in a Clint Eastwood film, he said, I was standing there and I was just sort of, you know, just saying the lines or whatever. And then I realized we were filming like Clint Eastwood just goes, you know, he doesn't say action. He just tells the cameraman to start filming or whatever. And he said, I still have my sides in my hand. So there's a scene in Hoover where the actors have their sides in their hand in the film.

Yeah, apparently. That's how we start this podcast, Michael. We just ease in, mate. Are we in it? Are we doing that? Is this like that? Oh, you're the Clint Eastwood of podcasts. Exactly, exactly.

Michael, I'm loving these. It's like when we're nitpickers.com where they point out stuff that happened in films. Like that. It's like a podcast version ofickers.com where they point out stuff that happened in films? Like that. It's like a podcast version of that now, all the different things. That stormtrooper's got a Casio digital watch on. Yeah.

The words go, that traffic light system wasn't actually in LA in 1967. Oh, leave it out, mate. You should listen to, I watched a one, Sir Ellis James, who we're all familiar with. He is the voice of Channel 5's movie blunders shows.

I'm very much enjoying the name drops here. We've gone from Clint Eastwood, not of a flat, to Lloyd Langford and Ellis James. We're moving in different circles. Ellis, it was on, so I put on a two and a half hour show of Christmas movie blunders. Wow. And to say they were slight is a fucking understatement.

Any blunder highlights for you, Josh? It was just like his coffee. You might see in this shot that his coffee is full and then they cut to the other angle and half the coffee's gone. And then Ellis, quite absolutely like, where's the coffee? I'll have to pretend he gives a shit.

Have you ever come across that those, I think that the Twitter sites, one is called Hold My Beer and the other one is like, I think it's called

Dash Cam Twats or something like that. It's like terrible things happening essentially. I mean, not too terrible. I mean, it's not,

we're not talking snuff movies. I mean, it's like, you know, but. I mean, not too terrible. I mean, we're not talking snuff movies. I mean, it's just like, you know, but real proper stuff happening. I have lost hours and hours watching that stuff. I'll just watch one, I think. I'll just watch one. And then I go through hours and hours and hours of people, you know, driving off bridges or whatever it is. It's amazing.

Have you ever seen that stuff? Yeah, like road rage where a car's, like, right next to another car. And then it's sort of like you get into a black stuff? Yeah, like road rage, where a car's right next to another car. It's sort of like you get into a black hole of just weird YouTube searches. But it's good to know you're a big fan of Dashcam Twats. Dashcam Twats. That was the name of my first band as well. Michael Sheen and the Dashcam Twats.

We should talk, Michael, about the reason you're here. So you are a parent. What was your parenting setup, Michael? I have a baby daughter, Lyra, who is coming up to 16 months old. And I have another daughter, Lily, who is almost 22 years, not months. 22 years. So, you know, there was a bit of a gap. There was a bit of a gap do they get on michael or are they too close too similar yeah constantly bickering yeah it's hard sharing toys i just buy the same both of them the same

and then they can't argue um so how's how's he going to the 16th? Is it well-behaved, sleeping, 16-month-old Lyra? Lyra is, oh, gosh. I mean, the extraordinary thing, obviously, is that for most of her life, we've been going through this whole pandemic and the lockdown and all that kind of stuff. So, I mean, she wasn't, you know, she's only a few months old when it kicked off. So it's been a, you know, overall, it's been a it's been a you know overall it's been a strange experience in the on the one hand it's been amazing because you know we've just we haven't been able to focus on much else it's just been yeah us with her you know I remember when Lily was born obviously you know I

was I was working and going away and doing stuff and I really you know I really I really missed that time with her yeah um a lot of that time and um but i really you know i really i really missed that time with her yeah um a lot of that time and um but we've you know because of circumstances we've been together the whole time and the on the negative side no well it's not so much negative i don't think it's negative but it is you know it's it's very peculiar in so much as just now a lady came to do our COVID test, because myself and my partner, Anna, we have to have a COVID test before we, it's a long story, but I'm on my way to America to film.

To be allowed into America, we have to quarantine for two weeks in an approved country. So we are at the moment in St. Lucia. Oh, I bet you couldn't believe it when that was on the approved list Michael. Save your condolences save your sympathy. And anyway a lady just came to do our Covid test. Now this lady was

she was wearing a red top she had she was you know a larger lady and she had a white mask on and Lyra all the way through it just kept going Santa! Santa! Oh, no. We all laughed about it.

We all took it in good humour. But, you know, I don't know how that lady felt about that. I had to keep going. She said, what is she saying? What is she saying? I said, I think it's the white mask. She thinks, she's thinking of Santa. No, say a different word! Say a different word!

Michael, you must be able to improvise. I would say... She said aunt-a when she calls her auntie aunt-a because she mispronounced it once. Satan. She thinks you're Satan. She thinks you're evil. Auntie, yes. I should have said...

She's got an Auntie Sandra and, you know, she can't say the words properly. Yeah, I should have said that. But you were right in the middle of the battlefield there. I panicked, Rob, I panicked. But that's the thing, I suppose, I was saying, is that what a weird time for kids of their age, or of any age, to kind of grow up in.

She's barely played with any other kids, you know. She's like... And the adults she meets on the whole have all got these masks on and stuff. It's really a weird thing. Anyway, that's not at all what your question was, was it? How's she sleeping? She's sleeping...

All over the gaff. She's in St Lucia, she's off to America. You're in Port Talbot mainly, right? Yes, I live back there, yeah. So do you go out a lot there? Because presumably your house is kind of isolated, is it? Again, under normal circumstances, yes, we would be going out a lot. We've got, you know, where my mum and dad live.

So I'm about half an hour from my mum and dad. And there's a beach, Aberhaven Beach, down there, which is lovely. And loads of people go down there. So before the pandemic started, before the lockdown, we would go down there all the time. We'd take her down there. And it's a lovely place to go and just walk around and go on the beach if the weather's not too bad.

Are the locals bored of you by now there? It's not a big event that you're there. It takes the first few months, but now it's fine. They mainly try and avoid me now. It's just, yeah, it's not. There's no thrill to it at all. The thrill has gone for them all. Yeah, and it's lovely.

People are just very friendly and it's really nice. But of course, you know, we haven't been able to do that because it's too far away now for us to do that. And, you know over christmas we didn't we didn't see my mom and dad or my sister which we normally would everyone stayed in their homes and so we haven't been going out hardly at all now obviously we're very very fortunate we've got a nice house and a garden which makes a massive difference obviously um and so you know we've been able to get outside and when the weather was good in the first lockdown

it was gorgeous we saw the spring happening in the garden and we hadn't long moved into the house so it was just a wonderful thing to experience a bit harder you know more recently when the weather's not been so great but um but nevertheless we were able to get out but no going around the place no where we are there's a we're mainly surrounded by sheep um and uh and so that's quite scary in itself they all gang up on you they do they just they have you seen i don't know unless you've lived near sheep the farmer just lets them wander around that's the thing i've always i've always thought they would be in orderly sort of fields but they, that's some sort of motorway system. They just sort of roam around.

Well, that was when I grew up on Dartmoor and there would be sheep and horses on the moor. And these sheep and horses were owned by people. Yeah, how did they

get them back? I don't know. I'd always go and my dad would be like well, they just go out and they find them. And it's like, what, on the fucking moor? Yeah, I know. How does that work? and my dad would be like, well, they just go out and they find them. And it's like, what, on the fucking moor?

Yeah, I know. How does that work? But they'll just be on the moor. Have you seen American Werewolf in London? Well, you know what can happen out there. Have you ever even seen a sheep, Rob? I can't imagine you've ever even come into contact in your life with a... No, I've seen them, like, on the motorway sometimes.

They get a bit brave. You see, you know, you go on the M4. I find the countryside quite a scary place, really. Like, I just, anywhere where it's like you have to wait 10 or 15 minutes for an Uber, I feel panicky. Oh, mate. If you can't have one immediately, I don't know what to do. But I've always lived in London, so I don't know any difference.

But that's, is that what you're trying to do then? Your dogs will sort of have that sort of base of sort of, because are they coming with you when you work? Obviously, you're into New York now, so you're trying to do then with your dogs to sort of have that sort of base of because are they coming with you when you work obviously you're into New York now so you're planning on taking your

partner and dogs with you yeah again that's a big difference between when Lily was little and now is that I mean I haven't had to go away

as much obviously during this last period of time because we've sort of you know I did a TV series from my kitchen two TV series from my kitchen um two tv series from my kitchen um and so i haven't had to go away as much but when we have um we now go as a group

you know we go as a as a group of three everywhere rather than back in with when lily was little um i would go off and do stuff and come back and i and i you know i think it's um you know i regret a lot of that I regret being away so much back then yeah yeah yeah definitely was that something you regretted now you've got a new baby and you've seen that or was that something I did I did anyway I mean you know I was I was I was at a you know I was different age obviously I was that was you know 22 years ago now and I was at a different place in my career and just thought differently about stuff and you know, 22 years ago now, and I was at a different place in my career and just thought differently about stuff and, you know, felt like I had to really try and, you know, keep trying to make my mind, I was still, you know, trying to establish myself as an actor and all that kind

of stuff. And so I felt like I had to work as much as possible and all that kind of stuff. And I do really regret that. Um, and I did, I did at the time I felt it at the time, but as time has gone on, I've regretted it more. And certainly now, having had the experience that we've had of the last, you know, year and a half with Lyra, I definitely regret it because I've got, you know, I've loved it. I've loved this last year and a half. It's been wonderful, yeah.

I was going to say, I found, I don't know about you, when you go away on tour, I'm a really hands-on dad. And when I'm at home, it's completely 50-50. But then when you go away for a couple of weeks and then you come home, you've sort of forgotten how to do it. It's sort of like, you know, it can just go so quick. And then you feel a bit like alien. And then you've got to relearn all the little routines and stuff.

And then sometimes it's easier just to go, oh, I've got to have a bit of work and sort of escape off again. And then you sort of, and it's weird because you sort of aren't confident enough to establish yourself as a dad. But then you sort of, and it's weird because you sort of aren't confident enough to establish yourself as a dad, but then you sort of take that way up. It's very difficult to come back and forth after filming for this.

Well, I've really noticed it now, much more so in a way this time, because when I have had to go to work, I mean, and even though we're like, Anna and Lyra have come, you know, we've all come together to New York when I filmed before Christmas. So we would all be living together in the apartment there.

But I would go off to work, you know, in the studio for the day and then come back and maybe, you know, come back after Lyra's gone to bed. So I wouldn't see her until the next morning, maybe. And I'd notice a difference. Like she wouldn't she wouldn't maybe acknowledge me first thing in the morning. It would be different. And that's just from being away for a bit of the day, let alone like away for two weeks like I used to do with Lily. I'd really notice it.

I'd notice that a lot actually. When you go, you're like, come on, mate. I've just been to work. Give me a break. I don't give a shit. That food you're eating is because of me going away and working. So let's have a little bit more. There's a lot of that going on.

Well, I'm not eating it anyway. She didn't eat it in the afternoon. And she just lets it dribble down her mouth. That's what Lyra's doing at the moment. I think we're getting to the point where we're realising we can't give her the sort of matte pureed food anymore you know my height in that stage i found it so difficult with the getting onto food she's yeah you put she's eating she's you know putting it in her mouth and then she's just looking at us in the eye and just letting it dribble down her face

and she knows what she's doing now i don't know if you remember this period but she's at that period where if you tell her off, she just thinks it's funny. And on the one hand, that's kind of a bit annoying because you want to go, no, don't put your fingers in that socket. Don't pick that knife up. You want to instill in other. But on the other hand, I'm sort of living in terror a little bit

at that moment where she realizes she is being told off. You know that? Because at the moment, she just doesn't have that. Even if we get, you know, scared about something and raise our voices or, you know, are a bit sharp with her, she just thinks it's funny. Yeah. That is horrible when they get out. If you do go, no, like that, and then they cry because you actually make them jump. Yeah.

Because you're panicked and then they get scared and then it's a horrible thing yeah oh it's like the first time you see if they cut themselves i remember that with lily as well first she she bumped her lip on something lily when she was very little and and her lip was bleeding i just remember that feeling of seeing your your child's blood oh it's like oh it chilled me and the same with Lyra when she bumped her head one time as well it was horrible feeling that and seeing them like that it's grim it's it's the I think that one where you say like that situation where like they think they're being told off and it's funny have you got into this situation where they'll do something and you'll laugh and then you've created a running joke that's every time you laugh it's reinforcing bad behaviour so

I've got in this running joke now where so so she'll say it's cuddle time and then she'll cuddle her mum and then I'll go

I said oh is it my cuddle time and she said no and we both laughed and now I haven't had a cuddle in four days because she thinks

it's funny she thinks it's funny she loves she's like she loves to go it's not your cuddle time. I'm like, all right, mate, a joke's a joke in this situation. Come on. Yeah, we also have a thing where she started,

and she started doing this quite early on, she developed a fake laugh. Do you have that? Do you remember the fake laugh coming in? No, I've had a fake laugh. Daughter of an actor. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

But she clearly worked out fairly early on that if we laughed you know that was a good thing and that she'd done something funny or whatever and that it was good to laugh that was a nice thing so then she started developing this sort of like clearly fake laugh just to just to let things go along smoothly with the parents, I guess. She's acting like an 18-year-old or something. It's such an odd thing seeing her going, ha-ha. Also because at the end of Peppa Pig, everyone falls down laughing all the time. So she would pretend to do that. And I think she realised, oh, I can do a fake laugh.

This is quite interesting. Peppa Pig, I mean, so what kind of stuff is she into? Is she watching a lot of Peppa Pig or CBeebies? Oh, a lot of Peppa Pig at the moment. Really? I mean, I am a big fan. Are either of you in it? Are either of you doing any kids' voices?

No, I've never done one. But we interviewed Doc Brown and he'd done the... Is it Jackanory? It's not Jackanory. Bedtime Stories. It's the Bedtime Stories. Yeah, which a lot of people want to do. Would you do any of them, Michael?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I could see you appearing in, you know, an episode of Justin's House, getting pied in the face, something like that. I'd love to get pied by Justin. Well, I mean, what's the deal with Justin? Because he's... I mean, does he own CBeebies or something?

What's that all about? Because he does Justin's House. They do Mr. Tumble. I think Mr. Tumble's the best one. I mean, that's great. He does the game show where he plays all the characters. Is that the skit show? Is that a far show for the kids?

Yeah, that one. That one's one step too far, that is. He's just a show. I've got a theory on that one. I reckon, you know when, like, someone's got a lot of power at a channel and he's gone, if I do another series of Mr Tumble, you have to take that

sketch show I've been pitching to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's good, but it's not vintage. No, it's not classic. It's good. It's all good. Don't get me wrong. Talking about bedtime stories, you know, it's always a little bit of a thrill to go, ooh, who's doing bedtime story today? Oh, look, it's good. It's all good. Don't get me wrong. Talking about bedtime stories, you know, it's always a little bit of a thrill to go, ooh, who's doing bedtime story today? Oh, look, it's Tom Hardy.

Or, you know, it's Sam Mendes. Or, you know, it's like some odd people show up. The big gig for that, I'm guessing, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. Oh, yeah. Guess who did Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Who? Bloody Justin, both of them.

Because he's just not on enough. He only comes out for the big events. I'll do Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah. Leave it to me. Night before Christmas, that's mine. Because he actually did the night before Christmas on the night before Christmas.

That was a big gig, and he got that. But, I mean, all that. I mean, I do think his show is amazing. Do you think you could do that? Designing and all that. Would you be good as a kind of children's Mr. Tumble actor? I don't know about that. When you're watching that, are you seeing the craft?

Do you know what I mean? Well, we have a lot of conversations about it is a real skill to be able to do the, you know, talking to kids on TV without, on the one hand, sounding patronising and condescending, but then on the other hand, coming across as really creepy. Because a lot of actors, I've noticed a lot of actors go on the bedtime stories thing, and they've clearly gone, right, I'm not talking down to the kids.

I'm not talking down. I'm just going to speak to them straight. And they come across really scary and i think it's a mistake so it's a real skill to be able to do that a lot of them are really good but what i do find myself doing and this happened with lily as well when she was little and and essentially really had made a difference to my career because i people now think that i'm very good at you know I must've been good at doing impersonations and that kind of stuff when I was growing up. I was terrible. I couldn't do

impersonations. I wasn't that person at all. I couldn't mimic anyone or anything like that. And then when Lily was really little, she would watch, you know, Disney films, Pixar films, whatever it was. And she would then want us to, you know, tell her stories about those things that she'd watched. And she would like, because she was totally nonjudgmental, I would just have a go at doing the voices of those characters. And slowly over time, I found like I was quite good at doing them. Like I get really quite close to the voices and stuff. So it eventually ended up to the point where it gave me the confidence

to have a go at doing Tony Blair and that kind of stuff. I wouldn't have had the confidence to do it had I not done it. If you hadn't done, you know, Woody from Toy Story or whatever. Exactly, yeah. Yep, Sully from Monsters, Inc., all that, yeah. And all seven dwarves in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Yeah, she used to... All seven?

She got to the point, yeah. She would say, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Daddy, and she would to the point yeah she would say uh she would say uh snow white and seven dwarves daddy and she would be snow white she would just sit there and then she would make me be all seven dwarves doing stuff and she would slowly get quieter and quieter so she wouldn't add anything to it as snow white and the seven dwarves would just have a conversation around her that's what she enjoyed the most wow i was exhausted by the end of every day exhausted That's what she enjoyed the most. Wow.

I was exhausted by the end of every day. Exhausted. Grumpy must have been easy then by the end. Yeah, exactly. But with Lyra, what I'm finding now is because we watch so much, like CBeebies and all that kind of stuff, I do find myself, because you were asking do I do the voices of any characters. I don't. But I do find myself trying to have a go at all of them,

all the Peppa Pig characters, all the Moon and Me characters, all in the nightgarden, all of that. And in the back of my head, I'm like, yeah, I could do that. I could step into that. If old Derek Jacoby decides to give it a miss, I could pop in that. Could you give us a line or two of a children's CB read? Well, I mean, Moon and Me, I think, is the best. Moon and Me is the best. I think it's a wonderful, wonderful show. I've not, Moon and Me, I think, is the best. Moon and Me is the best.

I think it's a wonderful, wonderful show. I've not seen Moon and Me. Oh, it's so good. I have to give it a whirl. Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic. Your kid's a bit old for it now, I think, maybe. Oh, really?

It's shot so beautifully. It's like a good in the night garden. Yeah. And they should swap it around because in the night garden, it's quite frantic and gets her a bit worked up, whereas Moon and Me, which is on earlier, is very relaxing, so I think Moon and Me should finish. Anyway, that's all there is.

In the night garden, it reminds me of the weird bit of Glastonbury. In the night garden. I mean, you go in that one field, you're in there for two minutes, but nah, not that. Just go back, killers are on. I had to kill for an hour to get into this field, and now it's just... You're a fucking lunatic. Oh, no.

It's the Ninkydon. Oh, not for me. Hello, everyone. It's Alan here. I just wanted to tell you about my brand new podcast, Lights of Beach. This podcast is the escapism we all need right now. I sat down and chatted with some of my famous friends about everything travel.

From caravanning in Rio to private jetting to the Maldives, my guests spill the beans on their holiday horrors and dream destinations. And let's face it, we might not have the sun on our faces, but after a listen to this, you'll definitely have a smile. First episode is the very funny Romesh Ranganathan. And coming up, we've got Robbie Williams, Jessie Ware and her mum Lenny, Michael McIntyre, Rufus Wainwright, Rob Rinder, James Blunt,

Dustin Lance Black. Oh, fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a fantastic ride. Here's a question for you, Michael. Yep. You get a call from your agent. Yeah. They're making a biopic of Justin Fletcher.

Say no more. Say no more. I'm more. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. Wait. I'm in. Also, there's that thing that they constantly get the kids to do, to go, Mr. Tumble is funny.

Yeah, if you need to tell people you're funny, mate. Yes, yes. He says it himself, doesn. Yes, yes. I always said that. It's so true. He says it himself, doesn't he? Comes back. Mr Tumble is funny. Mr Tumble makes us laugh.

Yeah. Listen, first rule of comedy, mate. Mr Tumble needs a pay rise. Mr Tumble needs three more series of his sketch show. Who would you most like to hear from on Christmas Eve, children? Mr Tumble. No, children? Mr. Tumble. No, he's brilliant though. That show is amazing. It is amazing what he does. Yeah, it's great.

With the kids and the signing on, it is absolutely fantastic, but it does make me laugh. But he's such a bigger part of my life than I thought he would be. Yeah. That's the only thing I didn't really like. And also, like, wherever you are in the world, if you're working in America or you're back home in Wales, you will have some sort of app with Justin on, Moon and me, Peppa Pig. They follow you everywhere.

They're on the plane. They're all over the place. And we've got the little soft toys as well for things. And so every now and again, we'll be wheeling a suitcase. And from inside it, as we're going through security, you'll just hear, onions. Onions. Which is a character, onion from moon and me and you know that the soft toy has accidentally got pressed inside the case and then it's yes my name is eagle pig went on and on and on what's um what's the

kind of difference in a... So, did Lily grow up in Hollywood? Well, she was born in the UK. And then, yeah, within a couple of years, was living, like, full-time in America, and mainly Los Angeles, yeah. And was that, like, a different experience as a parent? I mean, it must have been very

different to how you've been brought up right yeah yeah well and also you know me and her mum had split up by by the time she was three so that was a you know that was part of the experience as well so it wasn't just growing up in LA it was also growing up you know with us not together and all that kind of stuff so it's obviously much more complicated then as well for everyone involved you were both Brits as well so was there obviously so was there part of you trying to give her a kind of uh a less american upbringing than was happening around you i remember there was a sort of turning point because i remember we were we were in a there was a place called um uh what's called bright child which was a sort of soft play place in los angeles and we

were taken there and indoor climbing frames and ball pits and all that kind of amazing stuff. And we would take her there. And I remember when she was about, she must've been about three, three-ish. And I remember her saying, getting upset because people had been, kids had been making, well, she thought kids had been making fun of her accent

because she sounded English, you know. And she was a bit upset. I don't think they were making fun of it i think it was just like they they hadn't heard that accent or whatever you know whatever but she was quite upset by that and so i and i remember there was a period of time where i think she was really like she didn't like sounding different so i thought oh my god she's now gonna because i was amazed at how long she sounded quite british for you know, and didn't sound American for. And I thought, right, she's going to now just ditch the British. She's going to go full American.

And then Harry Potter started coming out. Oh, right. And it suddenly became like a real thing, Harry Potter and the accent. And so she went even more English. She went even more, you know, Harry Potter sounding because it became such a cool thing. So that made a big difference. I don't know if you spent much time in America, but, you know, at times people just literally can't understand what I'm saying. And so you find yourself having to put on an American accent just to kind of be understood a lot of the time.

But she, Lily is, I think, you know, when she was in school, when she was getting older, she probably sounded more American in school. know, when she was in school, when she was getting older, she probably sounded more American in school. And then when she was at home, she would sound more British or, you know, so she goes back and forth, which I think has been a big help because she's now an actress, you know, she's a working actress now.

So that's become very useful for her to be able to use both, you know, I think that's quite handy. Yeah. What have you noticed that's different between like, you know, 20 years apart between your kids? Is there stuff that you just,

what's the done thing? What was your first? It is now like, like ice, 20 years apart between your kids. There's stuff that you just, what's the dumb thing? What was your first? It is now like, like ISOFIX. I don't remember ISOFIX. Yeah. Yeah. That was the thing ever growing up.

That was my first thing I was going to say to you. That was the main thing. The very first thing I went, well, this is different. Was the car seat technology. Oh my God. Oh,

the 20 years of difference in that that was amazing what you mean you just go click into the like the base goes in and it stays there and then you just oh because i mean the wrangling and wrestling with seat belts and all that nightmare before oh that was so yeah that is a big difference that's been great um i also we came across a sort of a stroller or whatever um that has been life-changing for us because if you do have to travel quite a bit we've got this one oh i know it's the one we've got it's the one that you can take on a plane yeah well the one that that folds well it's called a doona and it's it's it folds up into itself it's like a transformer it's called a doona and it's it folds up into itself, it's like

a transformer, it's like Optimus Prime it looks like a car seat so you can, you know, it's got the handle and you carry it and you just use it as a car seat but then there's a little button on it and the wheels come out from underneath it and then it turns into the stroller

so you just, it's like Roger Moore in The Spy Who Loved Me, you know, the car is underwater, underwater, comes up, drives up the beach. You don't have to get out. You don't have to get a different gadget. And it goes straight in the car. Oh, my God. Yeah, straight in the, so then you fold it up again as well. And then, boom, car seat.

So if you're travelling, you're just pushing her through the airport, go up to the gate, fold it up into itself, put it in the hold, back out, into the car, boom, she's in the car, out of the car. Oh, yeah. Press the airport, go up to the gate, fold it up into itself, put it in the hold, back out, into the car, boom, she's in the car, out of the car. Press the button, boom. Car seats on holiday are the... I took two car seats to Spain once, and I nearly just flew straight back.

Everything was so heavy and awkward. That's amazing. A doona, isn't it? And did you get that in the UK or in the US? We bought it in New York, but I think it is... It must be available over here as well. Because you can get those car seat things that, like, spin round as you put them in, so you don't have to go in...

Yeah. Well, that's what we're going to have to do next, yeah. Mate, the car seat I've got, I spent about three hours trying to work out how to make it spin round and then realised that I'd bought the one that didn't spin round genuinely low moment i was like i was like i just don't understand it and i was watching the video on youtube which is obviously of a slightly different model and i was just like it just doesn't you don't need the spin you saw you bought the spin you only see you bought the spin give me the spin well the doona

the problem with the doona is that it only works up to a certain size because obviously beyond a certain size the physics of it you just can't get an 8 year old in it exactly Lily's refused for the last 3 years hasn't she well Lyra really is too big for it now

they're like no get in so it doesn't do a car seat but I think we had the Lily's refused for the last three years, hasn't she? Well, Lyra really is too big for it now. They're like, no, get in. So there's a yo-yo. So it doesn't do a car seat, but I think we had the yo-yo, which basically is a... It folds up really small, so you can walk through the airport with them in it, and then if you get on the plane, it can go in the hold above you. Ah, well, that is handy, yeah.

So you don't actually have to put it in the hold. So as soon as you get off the plane, you just carry it like a bag, and they're straight in it again, But it's not a car seat. Now, I've heard of these mythical things at airports, which is the airport-provided stroller. Have you had a go at these? Yes, I've seen one at Gatwick and they're just left out of the side and then you just bang them in it.

And they're more like, I'd say, a shopping trolley that's been adapted. It's like something you see an old lady carrying down the high street. My kids have never got in it and gone, oh, it's so comfy. It's a cage with wheels that you can strap them to. I imagine COVID has seen them off, surely. No one's passing around a straw. Is it like the way they transport Hannibal Lecter? Yeah.

From prison to prison, yeah. That would be quite useful, wouldn't it, yeah? One of the best things I ever did when we had a one-year-old coming back from holiday and Lou had to go somewhere for work straight off. So I went, I'll get all the luggage and the baby, you just go, right? So I was holding a one-year-old and I got three suitcases off the thing like that. Then when I got the buggy, I got the buggy

and unclipped it with one hand, threw it in the air and as it was in there, I put my foot on the bottom and went bang and opened it up and a bloke came up to me and went,

mate, that is one of the best things I've ever seen and I was like, I know, I know it's good, wasn't it? It was so amazing.

I've never, it was one of the greatest moments of my life, that buzz of, I did that. Do you know what, Rob? When we finally do a live show, we're... It was one of the greatest moments of my life, that buzz of, I did that. Do you know what, Rob? When we finally do a live show, we're going to get one of them and we'll finish the show with you doing that again.

Someone can bring their baby. I'll hold the baby. Yeah. I love the thing. You sort of... Basking in the afterglow and then realise, where's the baby? And you realise you've actually served the baby

about 50 foot down the airport. What a story, though. But it's that little thing of like, oh, I did that. You never will need to do that ever again. There's certain things that you spend so long trying to do with your kids. Oh, what if I could just sort that out? And then it just goes within an instant. It's so fast.

Is there, with the, so like doing stuff that you've done 20 years before, do you get, because i can't you know when someone says to me someone who's got a baby that's a year old and they'll say oh my baby's doing this and i'll be like i don't i don't remember it's all already gone yeah does it all come flooding back or does it feel like it's a new kind of experience well some things have done like you know the first time you smell that nappy when solids have been introduced. I mean, that never changes.

That was a sense memory that brought everything bloody mad. So that was like when you put on sun cream and you're taken back to a childhood holiday. That kind of experience. That Ambrose Solaire moment. But there's nothing like that smell, is there? When the,

when the poos go from being those first little sort of, you know, first little baby poos to then, whoa, this baby is eating food now. That, that hasn't changed. And that brought,

yeah. And that feeling of, that feeling of being in the middle of the night and, and, you know, trying to rock the baby to sleep whilst you're sort of barely awake yourself. All those sort of things that I hadn't, you know, when you're not doing that, the brain

probably just represses it. And so you don't think about it or, you know, and then as soon as you do it again, especially with that much time in between, go oh my god yes i remember this how many nights did this happen so that's a very particular thing did you find it easier or harder like obviously you had the experience but it was 20 years ago like yeah well i think on the because i was a bit nervous because you know i'm i was i'm 51 now yeah and the idea of having another baby at this point you know was was was, was, uh, uh, was, did make me anxious about whether I'd physically be able to, you know, do the things that I'd need

to do. Um, but that's, it's actually, it has been easier so far. I mean, she's now getting to the point where, you know, pretty much the whole day is spent trying to stop her kill herself yeah that horrible little toddling around yeah yeah so she yeah exactly so she's literally you know every day she's able to do something a little bit more and yesterday we saw that she could she's now the height to be able to get her hands on the top of like the sideboard and then step and start climbing up it oh god so you know that the next thing is her hands go she falls backwards smacks her head on the top of like the sideboard and then start climbing up it. Oh God. So you know that the next thing is her hands go, she falls backwards, smacks her head on the floor. Yeah.

And now she can climb up onto the sofa, but she can't get down. All that kind of stuff. So you think every second you've got to be on it. And that, I do physically, that's just very... And especially if you're going to different places, like obviously, you know, you've got a quarantine somewhere.

I don't know if it's in Lucia but you're still getting used to the sofa so you could be in the best place in the world but if the bars are slightly too wide on like a gate your whole day's ruined until you're doing something to cover it up all she's got to do is

bang into the corner of a table one time and you're not aware of the height of that table because it's a new table and then you'll go somewhere else and it'll be a new apartment exactly so in Wales we've got it kind of pretty much sorted we've got the gates on the doors And you're not aware of the height of that table because it's a new table. And then you'll go somewhere else and it'll be a new apartment. Exactly.

So in Wales, we've got it kind of pretty much sorted. We've got the gates on the doors to stop her going up the stairs and, you know, things, nothing she can bump into and the cupboard door, all that. But, you know, like you say, yeah, we're here in St. Lucia. Nothing is sorted out here. So we, you know, we've done basic things like, right, can we take that table, that table out of the room completely so there's a bit more space for it. And then we get to New York and then it's, you know, we've done basic things like, right, can we take that table, that table out of the room completely? So there's a bit more space for it. And then we get to New York and then it's, you know, the same again.

We'll have to, you know, all that. So yeah, it's constant. And because she's changing constantly as well. Yeah. Just don't, I'd sort of forgotten that. I'd forgotten that it is literally trying to stop a killer cell. Yeah. Yeah.

The stakes are just so high. So high. But no one quite gets to there. Unless you've got a little baby at that age, you can't understand how high the stakes are all the time. And do you do that thing as well where you find yourself imagining terrible things happening to your child? Yes.

It's a sort of parenting sort of safeguard thing i suppose i was lying there the other night and uh trying to go to sleep and so my daughter's room is about like it's like you know when you've got like a the kitchen is an extension then it's the room above that so it's colder than every other room in the house so it's got a electric heater in it and i was going to sleep and i thought what if that electric heater just caught fire and then i just and the moment i thought that i was like and it's like oh well that's it i'm here for the next hour then just imagine your destination isn't it yeah it's like this terrible horror film because goes to yeah now clearly from a from a sort of evolutionary

point of view i can see that it's important as a parent to be aware of dangers overly aware of dangers to keep your child safe i get that so the brain just throws these things up to to make sure that you're like alert all the time isn't it but it's like having a terror the worst horror film you could ever have because it's your child child and you're seeing in your head these things like where we are in here in St Lucia now, so where I'm talking to you, outside there's essentially a cliff drop all around us

all around us and the fence is like, it's not going to stop anything, if she was to go to the edge, she'd just fall through I don't know how but you've made me feel sorry for you for being in St Lucia. I don't know how you've done that,

but I'm like, oh God, I wish I'm so glad I'm not there. That's what kids can do to your life. You can be forced to spend two weeks

in St Lucia because of work and it can still be horrific. That's how hard it is having kids. It's so true. I mean, it's beautiful here.

St Lucia is a beautiful place. Lovely people. Where we're staying is gorgeous. You know, I mean, we're, it's beautiful here. St. Lucia is a beautiful place. Lovely people. This, where we're staying is gorgeous. You know, I mean, we're quarantining, but it's lovely. What were the other options, Michael? When, when you got the, uh, the document through and you saw the approved countries? Well, I, I, you'll, you'll, you won't believe this, but at one point I said seriously to Anna, what about Jersey? Is that on your list? That was on the list. what about Jersey? Is that on your list? That was on the list.

What about Jersey? Because it's closer to Britain. Seriously, do you want to go to the Caribbean and stay in a resort and all that that you're pointing in? Or, this was my thinking, yeah, but, you know, we know what we're doing in somewhere that's closer to Britain. We don't know. It's like,

because you know, it's like you go somewhere lovely, broad, exotic, whatever, but you don't know really what you're dealing with.

No, your products are in the shops, do you? Exactly. And also, you can't really go out to the shops or go anywhere, can you?

You've got to stay in the hotel room. Is that right? Exactly. Yeah. And so I was thinking, you know, if needs be, we could maybe go to a service station in Jersey. know what i'm going i know what i can get

i know what colgate is and i know what exactly but ultimately we decided we would try and be somewhere well they said it was this was we were told that this would be the best place to come to because i think they're all right um yeah yeah yeah i mean i don't know about you but what are your feelings about flying with a little one this age? Because it terrifies me. Yeah, we did it once when we were desperate to have a holiday, but I just think long haul is a write-off until they're about three or four. It's not even worth it.

It's more hassle than it's worth. Obviously, for work you've got to, but short flights. Like, I've ten or eight four hours is too long with, like, an 18-month-old. So how was the flight? Six hours? What? three, four hours is too long with like an 18 month old. So how was the flight? Six hours, what? Well, the flight here was, I think about seven or eight hours. And then, but the thinking was, well, if we do that flight,

then we want the next flight to be as short as possible. And that was a big reason why we came here as well, was because it will be a short flight now to New York. So to do as little flying with her as possible. But that but that i mean when she was a little baby and we flew um it was fine because she you know she won't go in anywhere she just slept for most of it it was great and now she just wants to walk everywhere and you know it's constant she doesn't want to stay still at all so it's it's really hard she, you know, there are times when she just thinks, oh, I think I'll just scream because that's quite fun, isn't it?

I'll just scream. I've discovered how to do it, so I'll do it over and over again. The other day on the plane, she, I think, because we're so, like, hypersensitive to other people on the plane going, because you know what it's like. I've done it myself. You're a kid screaming. You're like, oh, God. And so the thought to other people on the plane going, because you know what it's like. I've done it myself. You're a kid screaming. You're like, oh, God.

And so the thought of other people doing that. And I think something happened. She made a noise. I went bugger. And then she went bugger, bugger, bugger, over and over again. Oh, God, this is a nightmare. Also, a swear word that I haven't heard anyone use

in 20 years, Michael. No one's used also i don't i don't think the annoying thing to fly with a kid is it doesn't matter like where you sit on that plane all you're doing is walking up and down the aisle holding their hand yeah you might as well i don't think they should make you buy a seat they should just go it's 50 quid each because you won't be sat down. Because it's laps. You're going to be doing laps. You're just doing laps, yeah. And you're off the morale of the plane,

everyone looking at you going, thank God that's not me. Yeah. When we went to Greece, and I think it was three hours or whatever, when she needed her nappy changing, it was the best bit for me because I was like, this is five minutes where we're doing something, so there's actually a task, and we're in an enclosed space so whatever happens i'm not pissing anyone off except the people curing i went i went to tenerife when i went to tenerife um lou had the eldest who wasn't very well was asleep on her so i had a 14 month old that i should hold an arm's

length the entire flight right and it was all that really small narrow little plane and hold the baby like that and then I was like I need to go to toilet and then Lewis I was just gonna have to take her with you I can't have her as well so I literally was just so I sat down because I first of all I tried to hold her and we and I went back and then when I needed to go again it was like why don't you just sit down I was like oh yeah I forgot you can do that because I was like, oh yeah, I forgot you can do that. Because I was a bloke. So anyway, I sat down holding her and she was eating a bit of French baguette and then the plane started rocking the thing

when I was like, oh, quickly. So I was rushing, pulled my trousers up and I went back to sit down. Oh, that feels uncomfortable. And then she was going, bread, bread. Where's my bread? She dropped her baguette in my pants. I had half a French dick up my arse.

But I couldn't get at it because I was holding a kid and I just sat there like that with a friend up my arse. No, Doctor, that is what happened. That is how the French baguette got up my arse. I know it sounds unbelievable. The worst yeast infection I've ever had in my life. Now, you raise an interesting point, which is going to public bathrooms with your child,

if your child is not of the same gender as you. Now, we haven't got to that point, obviously, with Lyra yet. But I remember that with Lily. And that becomes a bit complicated, doesn't it, at a certain point? Going into a bathroom, she's with you. You have to take her into the gent's toilet toilet at what point is that just not appropriate anymore yes yeah that kind of stuff i don't make her use urinal anymore we go into a clinical but yeah i know what you mean though because now she's a five um the eldest is sort of a little

bit older but then i can't just make lou take them out because if you know but if she's if no one else is there you've got to take them in, haven't you? But like, they get, my youngest is obsessed with my bits. Where she's like, I'm having a wee, she'll run in and she's like, oh, it looks like a furry poo-poo. And I'm like, oh my God. I remember going to, with Lily, and I had to go and buy a pair of trousers somewhere.

I took, and she was with me. And we went down to the shop on the high street where we were. And there was just this one little sort of, it wasn't even a cubicle really. It was just like a curtain you could pull across at the back of the shop with all the stock at the back or something. And it was tiny. And I just had to try these trousers on quickly. And so I remember bringing Lily in with me

and she must've been about, I don't know, about three or four at the time maybe. And yes, I'm going through that period where she's like, if she catches you changing at home, she's like, hello, what's going on there? What's that? You know, becoming slightly obsessive about that, yeah. And I remember being in this cubicle

trying to change my trousers with her in this very confined space. And I couldn't leave her outside. You know, there's no one to look after her. So I had to be in there with her. And I'm trying to change my trousers. And she just started to try and poke me. And she thought it was a game.

And she's laughing. And I'm going, stop that. Don't touch that. Don't touch that. Stop it. And I was just thinking, what are they thinking is going on? Her side, this cubicle. It was horrendous.

And I think I, on purpose then after that, always tried to make sure that I was never in that position again. It was so worrying to be... Yeah, it makes you feel so awkward. It does. That 20-year gap where you can just buy that online now. Online shopping must have changed parenting. was so worrying to be to yeah it makes you feel so awkward also it does that 20 that 20 year gap where like you can just buy that online now online shopping must have changed parenting it must imagine doing the big shop in a supermarket with like two or three kids like now you can order it

online that was like my mum still talks to me about that like you're a big shop when i used to take all three of you to the show imagine three kids hanging up hanging on to your oh my god all of them trying to sit in that bit in the front bit arguing about the seat when when you're in that first kind of year and you'll be it'll be 2am and there'll be some disaster going on and you'll go we're just going to buy that thing we need online now we're just going to do that and it'll make us feel better now to know that that's going to arrive at the door in 48 hours or whatever the thought of being at 2am

and going oh god I'm going to have to go into town tomorrow and try and find a dehumidifier or whatever it's a 24 hour pharmacy the 24 hour pharmacy was a saving grace when I was a kid my mum and dad would go I remember being in the back of a car,

my mum having to drive to a 24-hour pharmacy for something. When shops weren't open late. That was the only thing open at like 11 at night. Yeah. Fucking hell. Having said that, having almost the opposite extreme happen during that first lockdown where we were like, we need Calpol because she is now teething

and she's going through a really rough patch with the teething. We've run out of Calpol and all the supermarkets, it's gone because people have just bulk bought it during the lockdown. I'm thinking, hang on, this is like 2020 and we can't buy Calpol. I'm driving around every chemist in South Wales. No, no, no, no, no, no. I is gone. And then like seeing that there's no nappies left in the supermarket or no,

you know, that was crazy because you're absolutely right. I don't pretend, Michael. You weren't thinking this is going to be a three hour drive when I'm on my own. This is absolutely perfect. Yeah. Sorry, Anna. I'm going to have to three hour drive when I'm on my own. This is absolutely perfect. Sorry, Anna. I'm going to have to go to Cardiff now. No, I haven't got anything. Nothing at all.

Should be home by morning. I'm just stopping off for a pasty at Greg's at Lee Delamere Services. I'm on my way to London. It says they've got something commentary online, so I'm going to travel there. Rob, you always like to end with the same question. Yes. Is there anything your partner does parenting-wise

that sort of frustrates you a little bit and you don't really agree with, but you can't really say? And it's maybe only a little small thing because it would prompt an argument, but if your partner did listen to this, they might go, oh, that's a fair point, actually,

but you can't say it face-to-face about it ruining an evening. Everyone's tired. You don't want to say it face-to-face. Yeah, exactly. For me, it's tidy time. Lou will occasionally, even though the house is a mess and we're just clearing a path to get to bed, she'll just go, oh, no, it should be tidy now

and tell me off for making a mess even though no one's agreed this new tidy time technique. Does there anything that springs to mind to mind obviously she's an incredible mother that's that's that's taken us around yeah that's i mean it is it is genuinely very hard to think of anything i suppose i suppose and this isn't this isn't with with herb specifically i this is something that is a bit of a bugbear generally, that if something is happening, if the baby's doing something, or if someone else's baby is doing something, and so it's more other people really, but when you see someone say, don't do that, or

trying to stop the child from doing something that's annoying or whatever it is, and you say stop it, and you say, and they don't stop stop it and stop it, and then they just give up. That I always kind of go, hang on, you're just teaching the child that that way of doing things works. You're gonna, like, that's gonna be a lot harder for you down the line. And I know it's, and I do it myself as well.

But, you know, so I suppose it's only that when I, if I see Anna, you know, trying to stop Lyra from doing something because it's you know it's either it's either going to be something that she might she hasn't hurt herself doing it yet but she might hurt herself doing it or it's annoying and all that it's I suppose it's that really but we're both we're both we both do that yeah we've all done it we've all done it but we know also that is the worst parenting crime in the long term i think especially if they make a joke about it when they go oh i won't listen to you will he bloody hell roll his

eyes just keep telling them yeah and it's obviously it's obviously something that she would say about me as well but it's when you're the one who's not doing it and you see it happening you're like yeah no that's not good that's's not good. Just stick to your guns, you pussy. Come on. Don't let them beat us. Yes. This is a war. You've got to wear them down. They can be only one.

Michael Sheen, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you very much. Yes. Enjoy your flight. Good luck with work in America and all that. It's been lovely to chat. Thank you, yeah. And see you soon for us to reenact some other classic film scenes together.

Exactly. Fingers crossed. See you later, Michael. Thank you very much. All the best. Cheers. Ta-ra.