Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S02 EP9: Jamelia

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S 'LOCKDOWN PARENTING HELL' S02 EP9: Jamelia Joining us in the studio this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) during the lockdown and beyond is the brilliant singer and presenter, Jamelia. Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks. xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @lockdownparent INSTAGRAM: @lockdown_parentingA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And to make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills. Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how well they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with your tales of lockdown parenting woe. Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you are listening to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... You say Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett.

And Josh Weddicombe. That's Weddicombe. Thank you. Aw, there we go. I cut him off, sorry. Yeah. I just wanted to know his name. My name is Kevin Hughes from Northern Ireland, and I absolutely love the podcast.

I'm picking some great tips, as I have one child but my wife is expecting number two in May. Here is three-year-old son oliver with his attempt at the intro well thank you very much oliver good work ollie there we go now rob yes mate we've got a special with me pregnancy special well we promised we've got some emails you know those stories we've had about people that gave birth without realizing they're pregnant yes would you want a few more of them that we've had sent in because they blow your mind oh we've teased it every time let's go for it i still can't get my head around that anyone would be surprised but let's do this i'm ready for it how's your week been though josh we should probably cover that quickly but are you okay all good just nothing happening waiting for it for march yep same here

right dear rob and josh i like yourselves thought that not realizing your pregnant stories were Nothing happened in waiting for 8th of March. Yep, same here. Right. Dear Rob and Josh, I, like yourselves, thought that not realising your pregnant stories were absolute bullshit and made up so... I'm not even there! Yeah, I lost one. It's just your memory. It's like a pissed dog.

It's just your memory. But I knew what every word was. I, like yourselves, thought that not realising your pregnant stories were absolute bullshit made up solely for the pages of Take a Break.

However, that all changed when my 19-year-old niece walked in from her friend's white as a sheet and shaking. She'd gone over to her friends and was greeted

by her very panicked friend covered in blood and the words, get upstairs, my sister has just had a baby. My niece dropped her belongings, legged it upstairs and entered the bathroom to see what she described as a horror movie with a baby on the bathroom floor and the sister stood stock still with a look of what the fuck just happened on her

face my niece very sweetly picked the baby up wrapped it in a towel paramedics arrived within minutes of the baby arriving so all was well basically the sister early 20s and about to go to uni had her baby delivered by a group of 19 year old girls oh my just all her mates just her mates her sister and her mates she had complained about stomach pains and was in a bad way before the baby made appearance other than that she'd been having a period and going about a normal 20s carefree lifestyle she had no idea whatsoever that what she thought was going to be a massive poo turned out to be a baby. Oh, my God.

Safe to say. How do you deliver a baby? I really wouldn't fancy my chances. No disrespect to you, Josh, as well, but if I was in a house of someone giving birth and you was out in the corner of a few other people, you would not be my first choice. I don't know why.

No. And I don't think I'd be other people's first choice. No, exactly. What comedian would you want to come in? Oh, what?

Like someone solid and dependable. There's doctors. There's doctors like... Jack D? No, you can't have Jack. He's not a doctor, was he? Harry Hill was a doctor.

Oh, well, Harry Hill. Yeah, obviously. Paul Sinar was a GP, but I don't think... Paul Sinar, but I don't know about his bedside manner. I tell you what, Paul Sinar was a GP, but I don't think... Paul Sinar, but I don't know about his bedside manner. I tell you what, Paul Sinar could probably

be a perfect doctor in that situation, but you would have to tell him the capital of a country during the Labour. And I just couldn't do that. Word did you conceive? And I will tell you the postcode. Wow, so she had no idea. Oh my God. This is such a weird special. Poor Jamelia.

What a lead into Jamelia. People are going to be shell-shocked. She loves the podcast, Rob. She loves the podcast. She's a fan. Absolutely adore the podcast, says this email. Please keep me anonymous, as I'm not entirely sure if my friend would want this story broadcast,

although it has become infamous at uni. When I was in my third year at uni, I had a sports coach who was a couple of years older than us. She was super lovely, but was having a bit of a rough time as she recently split up with her boyfriend. She'd split up with her boyfriend, who was another student at the uni, and she'd come to the realisation that she was in fact a lesbian, so she broke up with him. A few months on, she's doing better. One evening, she fails to turn up to one of our training sessions, which we all thought was weird as she's doing better one evening she fails to turn up to one of our training sessions which we all thought was weird as she's normally super reliable several phone calls and texts without an

answer meant we had to carry on the training session on our own leaving a text saying we hoped everything was all right things were not all right my friend had been reffing another match earlier that day suddenly collapsed with back pain she was in ruster hospital where she'd been told that she was in fact four centimetres dilated mere minutes away from having a baby. Oh my God. Imagine that.

You can be in hospital for like two hours trying to get to four centimetres. You know, with it going another centimetre. Ref in the game as well. I mean, you know, imagine that.

VAR has taken a lot of pressure off that job though, Rob. So, you know. The baby was delivered. It feels like they're bloody in labour about the decisions that have gone wrong and blown it off. Oh though, Rob. So, you know. The baby was delivered. It feels like they're bloody in labour about the decisions that have gone wrong

and blown it off. Oh, yeah, yeah. Quicker to give birth than it is to bloody judging offside, isn't it? The baby was delivered and miraculously was completely healthy.

Two years on and both mum and dad are fantastically co-parenting. Have a beautiful, healthy toddler. To answer your questions on how she didn't know she was pregnant.

Yeah. She was on a diet and was losing weight at the same rate. The baby was growing. That's mental. She even commented on how much she was dying. It wasn't losing any weight. You'd be fuming, wouldn't you?

Absolutely livid. Due to complications, the teenager, she'd been told she was unlikely to have children. So birth control wasn't an issue. In that sense, a baby girl was something of a miracle baby. Yeah, it was, wasn't it?

And what was the score of the game she was reffing? We won't do a special again. I think they're a strong taste to have too many of them in a row, Rob. We can both agree that. It's fine for a lot, yeah. I do feel quite tense now. Yeah, I do. Do you want me to find something off Instagram to chill you out? Yeah, go on. We can both agree that. I do feel quite tense now. Yeah, I do. I've got to find something

off Instagram to chill you out. Let me find Instagram ones. This is from Lauren. Just thought this tale would amuse you. My husband has put motion sensors for the lights in our hallway and upstairs landing. Which sounds like the most dad move ever. You keep leaving these lights

on. Well, to understand the thought process behind this, the problem is if you are still for too long, then you are plunged into darkness. But then I would argue, who stood still in a hallway? Yes. Yeah, it's not like those ones in toilets where you go in and they've got the motion sensor. I think a hallway area is fine.

Anyway, they were plunged into darkness. This happened to me and the three-year-old. I told him that the lights would come on if he stood up. He was amazed and immediately declared this happened due to his superpowers such continued a week uh where he kept switching on the lights of his superpowers and it was very cute and heartwarming fast forward to this week when he decides if anyone else switches the lights on that he will have a five minute screaming temper tantrum because he wanted to do it. And it is very hard not to accidentally turn on the lights. And such, we have had the temper tantrum over and over again.

Oh, my word. My husband won't take the motion sensors down and Hugo is showing no sign of lessening the intensity of his tantrums. Please send wine from Lauren. I think that's quite a bullshit move, motion sensors in your house, I think's too much. I mean, why do you need motion sensors in your house? How much does it cost to have your lights on in the hallway a bit?

How bored have you been in lockdown? That you've installed motion sensors and your lights in your house? Oh, this one will annoy you, Josh. This is exciting though. This is from Little Island Yogi. Hey! And five E's in the middle of hey. And I was like, why has that happened?

And then when you read it, it explains why this person is so happy. When you get all this correspondence, this person, for some reason, is so much happier than everyone else that gets involved. Hey, Rob and Josh, in your last podcast, you asked the people to say where they're listening from. And I think I may be your only listener in the seychelles oh come on i'm 28 and childless i mean i hate this person 28 and childless in the seychelles oh my god but i love your podcast you make my drives around the island that much more entertaining yes seychelles would be a great place for a live lockdown hell show as we hope yeah as we're-free and have sunshine all year round.

I don't know if the overheads would cover the show. Can we put a block on people being able to listen in the Seychelles? Because I'm not happy about this. Until we're out of lockdown, people that are in lockdown should be allowed to listen. That should be the new rule. Yeah. If you're listening in New Zealand, piss off.

Oh, I think they're in a five-dayer. Oh, okay. Welcome back. They're still going. Welcome back. zealand piss off oh i think they're in a five-dayer oh okay welcome back um josh should we introduce jamelia yeah i absolutely love this interview she was honest she was funny uh she's got an amazing setup to talk about in lockdown and also it's amazing to talk to someone who was a fan of the show loved it that was nice wasn't nice, wasn't it? Normally we have to sort of embarrassingly explain what it is to someone much more high profile than us, haven't we?

But luckily Jamelia put the shift in. But, yeah, enjoy the show. But Jamelia was lovely and really funny. So we'll see you after that. We'll chat after, won't we? Have you listened to the podcast, Jamelia? I absolutely bloody love it. I begged my manager to email you guys.

I was like, please, I want to be on it. That's so lovely, Jamelia, because normally we have to pathetically explain it to the guests. To know we've got you on board already. That's amazing. So let me just tell you how and why I was compelled to be a part of this, because I'm such a big fan. I've listened to it, I'm sure, every single episode.

But every time I'm like, oh, yeah, but you haven't done it with both, have you? You haven't done it with teenagers and a toddler. And it's kind of like, you know, that parenting competition. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like I've won. So that's the only reason I'm here. To claim your crown as the best parent in the UK.

Probably the worst, but yeah, one of them. So what's your setup, Jamila, at home? Can you explain it to us and the listeners? Oh, gosh, how much time have you got? So I've got a 19-year-old. She's going to be 20 in March. I've got a 15-year-old. And then I've got a bonus son who is my husband's son and then I have a toddler

who's just turned three. Whoa, here we go. Have I won? Oh god that is a real, have they been all in the house over lockdown? So as some step parents will know in lockdown you have kind of rules where the stepchild can, I hate the term stepchild, by the way, which is why I called him my bonus son. But yeah, so he's been back and forth, which as someone who's a little bit of a germaphobe, I'm a bit like, yeah, but what's he doing when he's there? And he still goes to school because his mom's a key worker. So I'm like, yeah, but who's he in the class with? And it's just, yeah. But then obviously, well you know he comes here and yeah you know hose him down in the garden and let him in yes i'm joking we don't do that we don't do that and how old is

he how old is he he's he's 10 no no he's 11 oh that's really bad he's he's 11 just turned um 11 so in the house sort of full-time you have a 20 year old daughter a 15 year old daughter a three-year-old son daughter daughter sorry and then your bonus son that comes and goes between the parents um yes and oh my god so that that is so you there i genuinely think this is a top trump winner here you've got a toddler a bonus son and then teenage daughters, and a daughter that's turning into a 20-year-old woman. Do you know what, Rob?

Yes, exactly. When we start an interview, usually, occasionally I'll think, oh, is there going to be enough in this for 45 minutes? This one, I'm like, where the fuck do I start? Oh, wow. Oh, Jamelia, this is outrageous. So let's start with a three-year-old, Jamelia. Yeah, let's start with her.

Does the rest of the family, does that actually make having a three-year-old easier? Because she can be, you know, there's, that's presumably a 19-year-old and a 15-year-old are kind of, you know. You know, people always say that, oh, you've got live-in babysitters. No, you haven't. You really haven't. I'm. No, you haven't. You really haven't.

I'm sorry. You just haven't. They participate and they help when they feel like it. And a living babysitter, you're paying them and you've got to do it when we tell you to do it. So it's not the same. I've even offered them money, by the way, and they still don't help. So that's just a myth. I'm not going to lie.

My 19-year-old is very helpful, but I still kind of. OK, so here's the thing. I'm I'm working from home, which is really weird for me. And so I'm kind of like saying to them, I need the nursery experience. So I need it to be as if I've sent my daughter off to nursery. I don't necessarily want to send her to nursery, which is why she's now currently just being dropped off to nursery but I don't necessarily want to send her to nursery um which is why she's now currently just been dropped off to nursery because it didn't bloody work that's basically where we are um but yeah it's yeah the living babysitter thing is just a total myth and at the same time you know I did push her out they didn't ask for her you know it's just yeah also I think it's hard to get a 15 year old girl to tidy their bedroom.

Nevermind. Look after a child for eight hours. Well, as you realize, I didn't mention the 15 year old. She just, just no. A non-starter on helping with the kids. Yeah. Just no. Cause it's like you leave her. So I'd leave my youngest is called True and she's three and you'd leave her. And I'm telling you within 10 minutes, there's some altercation.

They argue, she's only three, but she argues with the 15 year old or it's just, it's always carnage or one of them starts crying. It's just like, okay, I can't, I just can't be bothered. Just give it to me. And is the 15 year old, she homeschooling then? So I was homeschooling her before.

That was a big so, as if you're like, let's break this down. You'll notice I said was, okay. So I was homeschooling her for two years before lockdown. Oh, wow. The thing is with homeschooling traditionally you get to go out you get to you know you still get to socialize and it's been totally different to the point where we've signed her up for school um obviously this was before she before we've had another lockdown yay um yeah so we've signed her up for school and um and so now i don't do any of the school work with her

she's doing it through school and so she's still kind of homeschooling does she do it that's the thing that's what's so annoying like when when i was homeschooling her it was such a chore just to get her to you know do anything or get the work done but let a teacher online miss harris online say right you got to do this oh beautifully presented like all of her work is just gorgeous i'm just but you know what whatever it takes whatever it takes to get us through the day so what so what was it homeschooling when it was so you homeschooled for two years when there wasn't uh any lockdown it was just she could have gone to school she wanted but you decided to do homeschooling. And why did you choose that option? And how was it? Do you know what? She had a rough time when she first started secondary school.

So she was year seven. And also I had just had I just had true at the time. So it was there was a lot of change, a lot of time. And I really feel like it affected her mental health. And so I just thought, you know, the best thing I I've homeschooled my daughters on and off throughout the years anyway. And so, yes, I just thought, okay, well, you know, come home. I could teach you. I've done it before. And it was fine. We were absolutely fine until the bloody lockdown.

Yeah, because you can't go out, you know, and do anything outside. No. If they go for a run, you can still sort of do that. But, like, there's no socialising at all no no no we do things like go go trampolining for PE and stuff like that so it was fun yeah I mean it wasn't all but now it's just like you can't I mean we have got a trampoline if it's not the same as the big trampoline centers is it that is like you know exactly yeah you can't recreate it's the Willy Wonka of the trampoline world. How's your trampoline gone down, Rob?

Was it the hit it was worth? I haven't really asked. To be fair, it went up on Christmas Eve and then it's been pretty much zero degrees since then. And they sort of go on it for about 10 minutes and say they're cold. But no, they do love it. Whenever it's like not warm enough weather and the sun's out a bit, they've been going on it. So I think the summer's where it's really going to hit home. But yeah, I wouldn't rush to do another one at Christmas.

It did have a good impact when they opened it. Would you go back to homeschooling after the lockdown, Jamelia? I think I'm traumatised. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. As I said, like my youngest youngest i had no intention of sending her to nursery she's now in four days a week i'm not joking those days creep up don't they this week we were discussing going from three to four and i thought it's a very slippery slope

we're gonna be at six before we know it man eight days a week yeah you could stay overnight and nurse for a couple of nights someone is missing a trick there yeah i think josh is one more lockdown away from a boarding school that's fine the coach picks you up from Houston I'll drop you off at the bus stop just pick yourself to Houston and then you know you're in the countryside for eight months I'd be really intrigued to hear like how many people have kind of like changed their ethos like I've always been like such so passionate about homeschooling and stuff but yeah the lockdown has broken me um I was diagnosed with something

called separation anxiety which is usually something that kids have for their parents but I had it for my children oh wow oh wow I didn't know that yeah yeah I didn't even I didn't realize it was a thing. And now lockdown has cured it. I swear, it's not even a joke. I am cured. I am so happy to send my children out the door now. I'm like, yeah, go. I sent the kids off sledding down this massive hill.

I'd never even actually been to the hill. We've got loads of snow at the moment in Birmingham. And so there's this huge hill, so dangerous. like yeah go on go on that's a positive it's a positive how would that um separation anxiety manifest then before lockdown would you just you couldn't be apart from them with like nursery in school or was it he was a bit protective like with the snowy hill and stuff so it kind of manifests itself in like you you have these crazy thoughts so we were trying to put my youngest into nursery before the lockdown and um and I just I just thought oh gosh but what if she falls nobody sees her and then you know and then she's in a corner for the whole day and it just really like silly crazy catastrophic thinking isn't it where you

just it just gets worse and worse and more sort of extreme and ridiculous yeah exactly to the point where when we first were trying i was sitting outside the nursery for like four hours it was just you know it was ridiculous now yeah my husband brought her in i was like oh yeah see ya take care like she's off out the door this morning i'm it's not like i couldn't care less but i'm like you go and enjoy yourself yeah that's a thing oh that's brilliant oh well done that's such an achievement because that is you know it can really affect your life if you're that worried and you're not being sort of debilitating you to a point you're just waiting outside the nursery

yeah i mean it really did like from sorry sorry brilliant I'm not even going to check I'm not even going to check you're fully cured you're not even checking I don't want to know I just don't want to know that's the thing sometimes it's best not to know isn't it

yeah you've got to sort yourself out I'm sorry do you think it's just lockdown to help you that or have you had any therapy or have you been reading any books about the help of that or do you just think it's but you know being around them all the time has helped honestly I think it's lockdown honestly and then and as I said I'm not trying to make light of it because it is a real thing but it's just um yeah it's just little things like you know you need time away from me because I need time away from you and you know it's and and I think because

I'm a working mother I was naturally getting that so even though I had I have separate or had separation anxiety I think I was still getting you know a kind of a relief when I was working or when you know just I don't know, even going shopping or something. I don't know. But, yeah, I think kind of that concentrated time every single day. I just, yeah, I just thought, okay, you guys need to leave. It's not bad. Oh, that's great, though.

You know, it's a real positive thing to come out of it. It is. It is. You've got the full spread of ages now in your house as you've as you've uh top trump declared um so who what age you think it's hardest for and and what age you think it's hardest for to as a parent to look after would you say that the 19 year old sort of having it the toughest that they can't go out and enjoy themselves but then i suppose it's easier to to parent a 19 year old so my 19 year old I think she's kind of more uh what's the word logical about it whereas my 15 year old is just

like this is not fair this is not fair and you know and she started a petition I need to go to school and as soon as the doors open I want to go to school so I think it's been hardest for my 15 year old even though she's not really, I wouldn't describe her as like a social butterfly, but yeah, I think she's found it the most difficult, you know, you know like when somebody just changes the rules. So it's like, you probably weren't allowed to do something anyway, but when they tell you, you actually can't, you can't go out, you can't socialize, then, you know, you really want to.

And I think that's what she's going through. Would she be doing her GCSEs this year or would that be next year? It would be next year that she's doing them i think that's what she's going through would she be doing her gcses this year would that be next year it would be next year that she's doing them so that's what she's um uh what i was gonna say training for she's studying i don't know she's studying yeah i was like what's this terminology learning i think it's learning is it learning there we go yeah that one I feel like such a knob sorry yeah I think I think my 15 year old has found it hardest um and and parenting my 15 year old has been the hardest for sure because um yeah she just it's like that transition between child and adult and she doesn't quite fit and she doesn't quite know and it's just yeah it's just everyday conflict um oh and i have to tell you an added thing that um rob you've got this

to look forward to oh god so we've we've got this thing in our house called shark week have you ever heard of shark week do you know what that is is that on national geographic well they show okay it is also a show on a geographic but it's also what um i think a man came up with it by the way what some people call being on your period but when i know i know i know you guys and you don't want to talk about it but you've got girls i want to talk about it yeah yeah you're gonna need to know this so something to do with the moon please get someone to email in or whatever let you know exactly what it is but something to do with the moon causes all the females in the house to be on their period at the same time oh my god yeah and so my husband my husband like he goes to be in queue for like

eight hours and it's just like so yeah i guess we're on we're almost on number 12 our 12th lockdown shark week but you all acknowledge it and you've called it shark like that's a good way of kind of yeah it there was a there was a point where at first my husband was like what the hell is going on and then and then we kind of realized it I mean we'd always known but it wasn't like it wasn't a thing but when you're all on lockdown you can't help but it be a thing and yeah and so yeah periods are something that we just talk about and it's just like yeah okay so this is happening this is why I'm being an absolute bee and you know

and uh not not you just have to deal with it, but just let, can everybody just tread carefully? Yeah. So it's sort of like an accepted thing. And then that way he's not going to get in trouble for moaning and then you're not being defensive. It's sort of another thing. It's all going to be a bit touchy this week. It's Shark Week. Let's just keep our heads down and plough through it. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, as I said, you've got that to look forward to that's a great term yeah

i can't wait for that and i'm really regretting getting a female hamster and a female cat tsunami of shark and is he working from home or how's that is it how's it yeah yeah so i mean so even that like you know there there's, it's not an argument, but it's just like an unsaid rule of whose work is more important. Who needs it? Because we've had a couple of COVID outbreaks at the nursery. I think it's two maybe. So for those times, if anyone's been in contact with True,

then we've got to do the 14 days. And it's just like, yeah, but who really needs to get their work done today and who needs and what's important and and we've got it down to like well what is this going to generate money is this going to that's that's the um yeah it's like a boardroom yeah okay cut the crap what's that bringing home what's the roi on that literally literally um every every month how much money have you made yeah how much i'm telling you the company obviously uh productivity took a hit in shark week to be

however we're looking at a boom here. You should hit back to the phone. And what's it like? So is it a different experience having a, did you call it a bonus child? Yeah, yeah, bonus son, yeah. And I'm more interested in that situation where, you know, initially how do you approach the parenting in that situation? So, oh, honestly honestly you go through these different stages now the first I think the first goal is I just need this child to like me because

obviously if he doesn't like me then that's a problem for me and the dad so weakness that kind of thing do all the wrong things in the long term to win uh win a fact an early door literally and so i did start off as mary puffins and then it was just like but then obviously the girls being girls were just like oh he's not fair you treat him different and it was like okay so then you have to change tack honestly i've changed the goalposts moved the goalpost sorry at least 400 times and um yeah there's there's no right or wrong answer i think just do what whatever feels right in the moment like and another thing that we contend with is the fact that he has another home and he has another it's kind of like another set of rules like when he's when

he's at home he can get up at one o'clock in the afternoon and like we're just like absolutely not that's just not gonna happen here um you know and so jet lag when he goes between the two yeah so um yeah and so there's that to kind of contend with that he does have another set of rules so we don't want to confuse him but then at the same time because we've got other children we he's got to kind of get in with our kids as well. And, yeah, it's all a bit political sometimes, but I just kind of feel like I treat him – well, he is my son. That's how I look at it. He's my son and he's – you know, but just be gracious

and understanding of the fact that it might be – you know, he might have like a bit of jet lag and a bit of rules jet lag as well, just like, you know, getting to grips with our rules and how they differ from his mum's house. Yeah. Has there been any moments when you were first sort of like, you know, meeting him and stuff like that? What you just thought, oh, this is getting out of hand here. I've gone too far. When you're trying to make him like you, have you caught yourself in a situation thinking this is this looks desperate come on yeah yeah I think do you know what I think um I think the first one of those was like I this is gonna sound really bad but like I was really pushing him to race me I was like come on

race me like it's you know we need to have a race but the problem with me is I'm really competitive and so I had I wanted I had to win the race and I kept winning the races. And I was like, okay, well, this is not, this is not, I kind of wanted to let him win, but I was just like, no, I need to win the race. It's just, it's really silly, but it was just kind of like, yeah, I got that wrong. Yeah.

I mean, that does sound like an insane tactic. You know, you're meeting your new bonus son, right, let's have a race but insisting that you beat him every time

seems like, no wonder he sinks in till one o'clock and he's done 400 metres eight times. Oh my gosh, my husband's the worst though, my husband like,

he has them doing like bleep tests and stuff like that. I think secretly he wanted to be like a football manager or something and like, yeah, I'm just not involved. You're doing bleep tests? I used to hate the bleep tests and stuff like that i think secretly he wanted to be like a football manager or something all right and like yeah i'm just not involved you're doing tests i used to hate the

bleep so much did you do bleep tests rob um yeah i was terrible i was awful i used to humiliate him yeah but you can run have you said he's got no lungs i've got no i've got no legs. Are you proper sporty, Jamelia? Do you know what? I'm not particularly. I love kind of competitive sports and stuff like that, but I'm definitely not, you know, I don't go to the gym and stuff like that. I'm currently doing this 75-day challenge.

Have you ever heard of 75 hard? No. Yeah, but I took that pill in Thailand and regretted it. A nightmare for my home. 75 hard? No. Yeah, but I took that pill in Thailand and regretted it. You're a nightmare, I know. Powerful stuff out there. I'll tell you what, day 76 is a relief.

You're so silly. No, it's, sorry. No, no, no, it's this,

it's this challenge anyway and we were just like, right, we're all going to do it. I know it's so silly, but it's so hard. Oh, my gosh. So you have to do like two 45 minute sessions of exercise and take this from someone who doesn't do any exercise to doing two 45 minute sessions a day. And one of them has to be outside. Yes yes a day um you have to drink three liters of water um oh it's supposed to be like a mind a mental toughness challenge wow and yeah and and

if you miss out any one thing from this 75 hard on any day you have to go back to the beginning oh my god so you're giving away an hour and a half of each day in lockdown. So it's two 45s in the water. Is there any other things you need to do? Yeah, you have to, you have to. Well, the thing is I've kind of adapted it. I'm doing like, I've adapted it. And then I'm kind of, I've got people on my Instagram joining in.

So on my one, it's a two 45 sessions, three liters of water. You have to write some affirmations, gratitude. You have to read 10 pages of a productivity book every day no wonder you haven't just sent your children to nursery to me have you ever forgot about the water and that's down three liters before bed every night every single night every night Every night And I go to the toilet About five times a night Like it's ridiculous

Like it's just You know you're just like Why the hell Did you decide to do this Why Why You do like a challenge Because you did the SAS show

As well didn't you That was Oh no No no It was No the Bear Grylls Mission Survive I did Oh Bear Grylls

Mission Survive That one sorry They're basically The same show though Isn't it But without them in Yeah yeah exactly The Bear Gry girl mission survive that one sorry they're facing the same show though in it but without them exactly yeah yeah you know what i absolutely love that and the reason i did that was because i was scared of everything um like literally just just i was scared of heights i was scared of dirt i was scared of i'm scared of everything. And so they asked me to do it, and I was just like, do you know what?

I think that would be good for you, you know, because also as well, I feel like fear is catching. And, like, I'm scared of cats, and I'm scared of horses, and I felt like my daughters were becoming scared of the things that I was scared of. So I was like, okay okay just throw yourself into this and on the first day they kind of like woke you up first day you start off in a hotel room and they're like right come on come on yeah similar to the SAS thing shouting at you you

had to get your bags grab your bags run and you ran and you ended up in a helicopter and then they told you to jump out and I was like well this can't be day one and and the thing is as well before you do the show you have like an interview and they're like oh you know so what type of things are you scared of me like an idiot of course I told them that I'm scared of horses and I'm you know scared of heights scared of everything I said apart from the cats were in the show I had to ride a horse for like four hours and, you know, but it got me over my fears. It's, you know, it was, yeah, I loved it.

And I really loved what I got from it as well. Can I just check? You're afraid of cats. Yeah, I'm petrified. We snuck that one past, didn't we? I just think they're evil. Don't you think they're evil? Yeah, to be honest, I've got a cat and I hate it.

I hate him. I ate him. I don't know what it is. It does my nutting. They don't, they, they ruin, they ruin the house. But I haven't, I've got any other pets, but yeah, I'm not a big fan of cats. Lou wanted the cat. We've got it aging.

Yeah. On the water before, I drank a load of water before bed. Yeah. Three nights ago. Had to get up to go for a piss in the middle of the night. And I thought, I don't do that. Is this what being old is like? Absolutely rubbish.

To wake up at four o'clock and think, I've got to walk into another room. And if that's what old people do every night. Haven't you got an en suite, Josh? Yeah, but it's still a different room. But when you get old, you don't walk into't walk into the room you just land the bed and piss you're not at that stage yet you're doing all right i genuinely was like this is as bad as a child wake up this yeah yeah yeah yeah do you mean it's how was you with leaving your kids when you

did the bare grills thing or do you because it's work in your head does that feel like it's okay to go i think that's exactly what it was so when I did the Bear Grylls thing I was gone for about a week and yeah I kind of that was the longest I'd ever left my left my kids and I feel like when I did it maybe my separation anxiety was like compartmentalized or something but yeah so I was fine if I was going to work but I couldn't do things like I couldn't just like frivolously go out or like oh just go clubbing or I just wouldn't do that yeah if it was just for you socializing but you could justify in your head if it was work basically exactly but if I had like two days of work then I could go out in between because I was going to be

away for the two days so it was fine. It's a good idea to write and set little rules up to make notes. It's horrocks, isn't it? But if you just wrote it in your head, it's like the weird little rules. Exactly. Exactly. Because I do that all the time. I'm going to just start not listening to my head. Rob, you started that 10 years ago.

I've observed your career. Come on, mate. Think less. If there's one piece of advice you don't need it yes that's what i've got to do more of just the more i think the more stressful it gets all the greatest thinkers look tired steven fry he's well good at thinking he always looks a bit upset he's got he's he suffers as well unless he's a way forward you've got a much better theory haven't you rob which is any worry or any kind of fear you just

compress it down into your body and you don't think about it to create a kind of angry ball that one day will be unleashed in a in an eight out of 10 cats based diatribe. Let's be honest. I'll be in the jungle covered in snakes. I have to take off air. Cause I've attacked all the snakes and killed the head off a snake and then attack. I wanted a half a cab.

Oh, my God. Would you do the jungle, Jamila? I mean, with your fears now, I think they will just put loads of cats on you at some point. Yeah, exactly. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I've been asked so many times.

You know what? Let me tell you what it is. I don't even think it's the bugs and all of that. I think it it's the people I think they're very strategic about who they put in there with you and it's and I think it's intentionally to irritate and and I'll just because the thing is as well not not not to sound a bit scary but like where I'm from like originally that's always going to be in me and I'm always scared that if I spend too much time on TV, it's going to come out if someone pees me off. And it's just like... Are you saying you've got a bit of a temper?

You've got a bit of a, you know, a bit of edge here, Jamila, that can hide your belly. But if you're... You will have a fight on the street. Is that what you're saying, Jamila? You've got it in you. You have a ruck outside the park. Under the right circumstances or the wrong circumstances i and that's my fear and is the right circumstances

sharing a camp in australia with noel edmonds is that the circumstance that you're worried about i think that that would be it yeah what's good about this jamila is that you just added more money to the fee they're gonna she hates for. She hates cats and she will fight someone. What a booking. Oh my goodness. Who do you have at the end of the bridge though? Would you have all the kids or just your husband? It would probably

just be my husband because it would be like, oh, we could have a little holiday by ourselves. That would be nice. Fair enough. You've really got over this separation anxiety. You've been in the jungle for three weeks this is terrible i really i just have to say this i really do adore my children like i adore them i really do i just need to put this out there because it's very clear it's very clear that you used to adore your children, but you put over that. That's very clear.

Lots of therapy in lockdown. You're over it. You're over being a mum. That's another thing I need to mention. During lockdown, we started getting family therapy as well. Oh, did you? Yeah. Do you know what?

It's been fantastic. So that is something that I would highly recommend. So how does it work? Would all of you, I imagine the three-year-old wouldn't be involved in that. I mean, the three-year-old's there, but it's only because she can't be anywhere else. But yeah, she's not participating. So you're all sat on the sofa on Zoom?

Yeah. And so who would it be? You and your husband, your two daughters and your son? Yeah, well, yeah yeah depending on whether or not he's here but yeah yeah and we just um yeah we just we just talk about you know any issues genuinely that must be such a useful kind of thing it's fantastic honestly I'd highly recommend it and I know like you know growing up like I grew up in inner city Birmingham and therapy, I mean, therapy is just like, I don't even think it was in our vocabulary, you know. Yeah.

But to be able to do that, especially like with teenage children and obviously remember as well, like my husband and I are trying to have a relationship as well. And it's, you know, there's a lot going on. And so, you know, but it's been fantastic. it's there's a lot going on and so um you know but it's been fantastic and you know sometimes sometimes we you know we won't even talk about the things in the week and we just save it for our therapy session because it's kind of like she'll guide you through you know your problems and how to communicate correctly with each other and and also to you know exercise empathy which i think sometimes is quite hard when it's all going on or kicking off. Have you seen a big difference from that then?

Oh my gosh, a huge difference. And it's a really positive difference as well. You know, just even, just even knowing how to communicate correctly, understanding each other. We've been talking about this thing called transactional analysis, which is each person has different elements to them. You know, you have a child, you have a parent, you, there's also, we also speak about how you can affect who your child becomes and stuff like that. It all gets a bit deep sometimes, but it's, it's really important. Therapy can get a bit deep, that's kind of it. I'll tell you what, get your money's worth if it was. And you're doing all good.

You had a picture on Saturday Quality. See you next week. I think if my mum and dad and my brothers, all of us sat down to do family therapy, it would basically be a lockdown four. We wouldn't get up for about two years. Yeah, yeah. I must say, like, I definitely feel like, gosh gosh we should have did this when we were younger

like my mom should have did this well i mean she probably wouldn't have been able to afford it but you know it's um i mean it's not like hugely expensive but as i said inner city birmingham 90s yeah well you know sometimes obviously it can be costly uh therapy and stuff like that but i think more the idea of it at a point growing up for me certainly in sort of you know I think a probably similar background but yeah in London is it's even more almost a sign of admitting defeat in a weird way which it certainly isn't and yeah I've done I did I did therapy years ago uh on the NHS and then I did it privately like last year and it made a massive difference both had the same results um And were your children, did they take convincing or were they, like, up for it?

And question two, what's it like on Shark Week? It's bubble, bubble. They charge you double. No, she won't even. She'll just be like, no, no, no. I'll see you in a fortnight, guys. I've got my calendar. Yeah. Just log on. OK, you're all crying and uh your husband's being cute okay let's leave it this week yeah leave it

were the kids like what was their approach to it do you know what it was it got to a point you know whether they say when things come to a head it got to a point where it's just like okay well someone someone's gonna someone's gonna kill or be killed it's just one or the other so let's um let's bring someone in so it we were all very receptive and all on the same page and um and as i said it's been fantastic like you know life-changing and i mean even now we still see her and i don't really feel like we need to see her but we kind of just like doing it. Yeah, I think sometimes it is sort of like you need a few sort of... It's just nice to see anyone at the moment, isn't it?

Even if you're paying them, it's just nice to see anyone. A good therapist makes you become your own therapist. I think there's an initial series of chats you have to have, but then you start to realise your behaviour and patterns of behaviour and how to adjust. Are there any big arguments with the you know your teenage daughter like led to needing this kind of thing was the things that you're arguing about a lot in lockdown um honestly my eldest daughter she's just she's a bit of an angel we don't argue about anything uh not anything at all um my 15 year old is the whirlwind and she um i i say that she needs to be like a

lawyer or something she she can fight something to the death like and it's just like she might be one or need one well yeah let's hope it's not the left eye please i'm putting too much please i don't need that no um honestly she's and that's the thing I always say as an adult all of these attributes are going to be incredible for her but as a child as my child bloody hell yeah it's a lot it's a lot so um yeah she's she's definitely the one I think who's well she's just at that stage where you know it's kind of like a second toddler phase where she's pushing boundaries and you know and it's just like oh for crying out loud really and that's the thing I've got the two of them at the same time my toddler is pushing boundaries and being

cheeky and you know and and I don't know I guess she's testing the waters but yeah it's it's it's a lot and I don't want to come across as all complainy because it's not all bad, but it definitely can get quite hairy. Complicated. Yeah, yeah, let's say that. Do you find it more difficult to talk about your teenage daughters than you would about, say, your three-year-old or stuff?

Because are you worried about what you would say about them in public? In a nutshell, yeah. Because I kind of, well, first of all all I know my kids are going to listen to this because they love the show as well so uh yeah I am definitely conscious of what I say but the thing is as well like um I would like to think that I communicate enough with my daughters for them to know exactly what I think of them you know, and how much I love them and how amazing I think they are. And also as well, I'm their mum. They're so used to me being outspoken and saying things and embarrassing them and like, oh, my God, did your mum really say that?

And it's just like, yeah, she did. That's what she's like, you know. So, yeah, I don't think they'd be you know too too upset i hope not anyway no i think that's it isn't it if you're open at home and you know i think that's so much of the battle isn't it definitely definitely communication is key that's um yeah number one uh number one apart from with the toddler that's i mean as you know it's just that's very much about number eight with the toddler isn't it do you feel like she gets away with a bit more though

like how's your parenting changed from a 20 year old to like a three-year-old now like are you a lot calmer and more laid back than you were with your first born yes definitely I think with um with my 20 year old I say this all the time like my my 20 year old and kind of my 15 year old they were kind of tester kids and then my I feel like I can give my best to my youngest just because I feel like I know what works I've tested what works I've tested what doesn't work um and also my eldest two are very different to each other so I've gotten a feel for I feel like two ends of the spectrum um and so um yeah um with my youngest I mean let me tell you one thing lockdown has definitely changed I was that parent that my

child is never going to even touch an iPad until she's six. And, you know, I was that parent, and now she's, you know, I've got an iPad, but it's more or less hers. And I just, oh, my gosh, I saw this wicked quote the other day, and it said, if you're worried about your child watching too much TV, put it on mute, put the subtitles on, and then they're reading. And I thought, do you know what? That's a shout. I do think, though, if you're worried about your kid watching too much TV,

then the reality is you haven't got too many worries in your house. I mean, growing up, watching too much TV was the last thing anyone was worrying about with what was going on. That's really, you've got to get yourself lucky because, you know, people are worried about you know getting them to school or whatever

or getting their dinner on so a bit of telly won't hurt no one it didn't do me any harm nah

it's not going to be Marcus Rashford's next campaign no exactly the problem is because for me though I was

going I'm alright I couldn't even read properly until I was about seven or eight but I say that to Lou

and she looks at me in disgust but that doesn't make it okay I'm like that I'm like that with the potty training like so I'm we we've been potty training the whole of lockdown by the way which shows you that it's still not working and um and for me it's just kind of like but do you know any adult that wears a nappy like no so it's gonna work it out at some stage, isn't she? She'll be fine.

Yeah, she'll be fine. I can see you on this morning in about 15 years going, yeah, so she does wear a nappy all the time now. I always said I've never seen one, but here she is. I have a prototype. Oh, my goodness. The thing is, with the potty training, and I know you guys have mentioned it,

sometimes she's absolutely fine. And then sometimes she just spends the whole day wetting herself. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, what is this? And you know, I always say girls are easier. I mean, easier than what? I don't know. Cause I've only had girls, but this one isn't. And yeah.

I think that always like boys are like this and girls like this. It's not always the case. It makes you go, oh, right. So now if we had a boy, it would be this different because they're worse sleepers or whatever. There is different types of boy and different types of girl. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

Well, I've got three girls, and each girl has been completely different to the other. My youngest, she's – I actually put a post on my Instagram the other day. She's as much into princess and sparkly things as she is into toys and building and stuff like oh yeah she's dressed as a princess with a screwdriver yeah yeah it's lovely and they're literally like two of her favorite toys in one picture and i was like i've got to like share this and you know and i just don't subscribe to that whole you know boys are like this and girls are like this like they're all just people and they're going to be who they are like i

was quote unquote a tomboy when i was younger um but i just think i was an adventurous girl i like to climb trees i like to go on the swings i had two younger brothers and i was just like i wanted to play with them all the time and i just kind of feel like you know at this stage who cares and I balanced that the other way in that I spent my whole childhood as a boy hating climbing trees I can't imagine anything worse than climbing a tree so there you go where the examples like they're really pierced at two months and they have makeup on every day so we've got like that it was like let's not get gendered toys we'll just let them play with whatever they want to play and we'll get both and then they can choose right yeah exactly and then

when they start going to play groups both of them immediately screamed and run over to the babies and I think the good thing is you have to be like fair and let them pick but when they do just go all right fair enough they're like pink and they're like babies right where some people are still trying to make them all like hipstery bullshit they want to dress and push a baby around in a pram that's why oh mate absolutely I turned up to nursery this morning with my own child dressed in a frozen jumper and frozen trousers.

And I'm like, who am I anymore? She hasn't even seen the film, mate. She's just into the merch. Are you joking? Really? You don't really watch films with her that much, do you? We go, do you want to watch it? She's like, no.

And you're like, you want the merch? How does this work? That's a bit like me when I go to american sport i don't know what new york rob you always end on the same question it might be difficult this question because um because obviously it's the kind of thing that would come up in couples therapy so Rob would you like to ask a question well normally I ask you know if there's something your partner does parenting wise it really annoys you but you've never mentioned it because it could cause a row but I imagine it will have come up or or not Jamila you know well so what did come up was that

um I feel like sometimes he wants to be the fun one and I think this is quite normal amongst dads that they want to be the fun one and they leave this is quite normal amongst dads that they want to be the fun one and they leave the mom to be the bad guy um and I was like I don't want to be the bad guy I want to do the fun things as well um so I think yeah leaving me to uh be the bad guy yeah yeah be the bad guy that was uh that was one thing but we're yeah we're working on it to be fair that happens a bit in our house though but it's only because I'm stupid we're like on it. To be fair, that happens a bit in our house though, but it's only because I'm stupid. We're like, kids go to me,

dad, jump off that. I go, all right. And they go, oh, you're, and then so you'll get annoyed.

You jump off it then. I'm down to slide it first in the rain here in my pants. If you want to be the fun one, put some, put some kids in. Do you know what though? And one of the things that, and I, this is one of the things that, um, and I, this is one of the things that I've actually loved seeing my husband do is

learning how to play. I feel like that a lot of us can be a bit serious and children, they, you know, they require us to play with them. Um, as you said, like, you know, jump off that. Okay. And, and I think it kind of, you know, not to get too philosophical, but it makes you kind of reconnect with your inner child. And it's been lovely just looking, you know, jump off that, okay. And I think it kind of, you know, not to get too philosophical, but it makes you kind of reconnect with your inner child. And it's been lovely just looking, you know, I had to show him like how do you play tea parties

and how do you, you know, getting down to their level and all of that stuff. Yeah, and it's been really lovely. Yeah, I think it's true that. I mean, I don't think I've ever disconnected from my inner child, to be honest. I remember that when you started doing that in a of that what's it called nct group and make sure that you're always talking to your child and chatting to them and on the group people go well i don't know what to say to them i don't know what to do with them and they

were like all the time like having conversations and being silly so i think some people are suited to that and others but it's a nice way to, you know, play with them. Well, that's the thing. You can feel a bit silly, but you've got to, I don't know, I think you've got to get over it. Do you know what I mean?

A hundred percent. I forget that sometimes because my whole, me and Josh, our whole job has been stupid and silly. Like, at the school gates,

I stay stuff sometimes. They look at me like I'm insane. And I'm like, what do you do in your house oh gosh well the thing is though sometimes um you know talking about like school gates and stuff like that i think what was it like in your house like yeah do you ever think like how boring it is in some people's houses just just you know you shouldn't judge kids, but judging from their kids

and their, the parents' demeanour, you're just a bit like, yeah, I can spot a banter vacuum from three miles away. And it's normally they can read and write

really well. Why? Because nothing else is happening in that house. You know what I mean? You've got, they've got to have a bit of banter as well.

They've got to talk to people. Absolutely. That one's been employed for how neat their handwriting is at any stage of their life. Exactly. How would you guys, can I just ask you guys a question? How would you feel if your kids weren't funny? I wouldn't be like, oh, God, that was a bit hack.

That was a bit of an obvious joke you just made. But, like, if they weren't fun, I think, do you know what but like if if they weren't fun I think do you know what I mean if they weren't a laugh I mean in my house growing up I think being a laugh and humor was a big thing do you know what I mean I think it was it played a big part of conversation and personality and stuff yeah and I think having a really boring child imagine your child's like 14 and you go oh my god I think they might be really boring when you're at your mate's house you walk in

and you're like oh this is shit here isn't it the vibe in this house is shit you go in the fridge and there's like just butter just butter and they're like for me if my kids learn i think being funny is a separate thing because like you know that's a subjective stuff but being fun and having a sense

of fun which i think if they didn't i think i'd have let them down as a parent because parents have foster that atmosphere and that so that you're not you know they say stuff all the time and like not losing your cool with them where you know you had friends growing up there don't do that don't be sitting there all on them straight away yeah so i think if they weren't fun i'd say that's uh where me and lou have let them down a bit by being serious i can't be honest about i can't see that happening yeah animals it's been amazing thank you so much thanks so much for doing it thanks so much for listening as well oh my gosh i'll i'll even listen to this one even though i know what i said thank you so much bye-bye thank you thanks for having me