Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S03 EP40 - Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

S03 EP40 - Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins.Steps are currently on tour with 'What The Future Holds' - info and tickets can be found here: www.stepsofficial.co.ukThanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittaker. There we go. Can I guess? Can I guess?

Yep. Cambridge. Oh, he doesn't say Rob. Doesn't say where he's from. Do put where you're from from now on so we can have the guessing game that yes but don't put fake accents on no no exactly that's unfair love the show i know everyone says it but genuinely it's kept me sane during the lockdowns as a man on furlough while my wife powered through and then she's done the emoji of the punching hand and the emoji of the big bicep. Working for NHS as a donor carer.

Here's my boy, Oliver, aged three and a half, for your intro purposes. We have his brother stroke sister arriving April 2022. So give me time and maybe I'll send another clip for him stroke her. All right, mate. He wants a double appearance fee. He's double dipping. And that is from Tim. Thank you very much. Lovely, mate. He wants a double appearance fee. He's double dipping. And that is from Tim. Thank you very much.

Lovely Tim. How are you, Josh? I've got a stiff neck story. Oh, go on. So my daughter went on a day out with my wife and her mum. Yeah. And she's quite into art. My daughter, like, doing art.

So she decided she wanted to go to an art gallery. Oh. Yeah. They took her to the Tate Modern. Oh. I don't know what I'm doing. Did you say? Do you know what, Rob?

Yeah. That is not the art gallery to take a four-year-old to. Why not? Because they don't really understand conceptual art, do they? They don't understand modern art art do they they don't understand modern art yeah but aren't the other ones all a bit boring like national portrait gallery she wanted to see some paintings and she's looking at a bloody half a car do you know what i mean what have you been did you crash it trying to get to the petrol station

yes i know what you mean it's not i think sometimes they're into that fun stuff like yeah that they want my my daughter i need to book it wants to go to see the you know that japanese that's her favorite yes i mean i fucking can't remember it she does pumpkins with yellow and black on yeah that's at the tape model is that what they went and saw well i don't know they did one floor and then my daughter said she wanted to see more pictures that were pink okay fair enough she said is there any pictures of rainbows it's like no of course there's not mate it's the tape modern yeah it was the wrong is but then you wouldn't get that the portrait gallery they're all sort of old and sort of weird naked men yeah oh yeah yeah you don't want to go in the

Francis Bacon room and there's yeah to be honest let's be honest four-year-old's not going to enjoy a gallery no exactly but it's a bit of a stiff-necked parent thing to go, oh, she asked to go to the gallery, actually. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Oh, we actually took her to the Tate Modern. Yeah, but she hated it. Yeah, she actually hated it and cried and went to Wagamama's and then bought a plastic toy that's going to go into landfill. Because that's the real truth of parenting.

They did. They went to Leon. That's where they went. They went to Leon. But they enjoyed walking over the bridge. Yes. And she threw a wrapper in the river. Yeah, exactly. Because she's got they went. They went to Leon. But they enjoyed walking over the bridge. Yes. And she threw a wrapper in the river. Yeah, exactly.

She's got no respect. And we told her off, but that was her favourite part of the day. Exactly. And that's what she'll remember. Oh, that's good, though. She wants to go somewhere like that, isn't it? Is it good? Well, it is, but that's probably killed it, hasn't it?

Are you going to try and get your kids into going to football and watch Plymouth? I wouldn't take her to Plymouth because it's so far away. I don't want her to support Plymouth. That would be absurd. There is talk of going to Clapton. Oh, got a little hipster local team. They've got, you know, like Dulwich Hamlet in the southeast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Clapton Community Football Club are like that. You know, they've got like ultras and they've got like... Oh. Yeah, so it's meant to be really good fun. What about West Ham? I just can't do that, Rob. I just... Why not?

I just don't want her to support West Ham. But she's from the East End. I just don't want her to support West Ham. Why not? Because I hate them. Why do you hate them? I don't like them as a club. I don't like the ground.

The ground is so completely soulless. I mean, we're getting into football chat here. Yeah, I know, know but i just when you're saying you'd want to support a local team i find west ham are the kind of team they think they've got more of a personality than they have do you know what i mean their fans think they're a bit special they think they've got a special way of playing they're constantly bleating on about 1966 as if anyone gives a shit i mean it would be good to get some terrible stories of taking your kid to the football too young because that is a thing that happens a lot.

They get the full kit, they take a two-year-old to the football and the kid hates it. So if you've got any stories of kids hating football. I remember being at Argyle and there was like a kid and their parents, they must have been like four or five. And the moment

the first chance happened and the ground kind of erupted, she just burst into tears and they just had to take her home. It was just horrible. You can't go too you've got to wait till they ask, I think, about seven. When did you first, I first went, my first game, my first game was Exeter City, Rob.

Plymouth are our girls' greatest rivals. I can't remember. I think I was probably about 10 or something. But my dad didn't like football. So going to football wasn't a thing in our house. I went to watch Crystal Palace. I got free tickets from the school. Then my dad took me to an Arsenal game once when I was about 11.

And then I went. I didn't really go that often. I went every now and again as a special treat, sort of day out. But I didn't go that often. But I remember always enjoying it. I went when I was about seven. That's when I first went. And it was all right. I didn't know what was going on because I was guided,

that there was no comment. I presumed the commentary was like, was boomed into the stadium. You're a words man, aren't you? You're a wordsmith, Josh. I love it. I was like, where's the commentary? I can't just watch. I can't just enjoy it.

Well, the problem is I just, I hate going to football because sometimes I listen to other people behind me. So that's why I have to be absolutely smashed out my head. So I'm the just watch. I can't just enjoy it. Well, the problem is I hate going to football because sometimes I listen to other people behind me. So that's why I have to be absolutely smashed out of my head. So I'm the worst one. I hate everyone at football. I'm going to Plymouth v Charlton today and I'm already thinking, oh God, people. And also what's exciting is people,

because we were recording this earlier, will know what happened in that result. So they'll be going, oh, he's going to have a terrible day. Well, I'm going to tell you now, look up that result. I've got such a shit run as a Plymouth fan. They always lose. My wife says I should don't go because they always lose. I'm going to put a tenner on them losing 3-0.

Plymouth, at the point of this recording, we haven't lost since the first day of the season, August. We haven't lost since August. Really? are you unbeaten in the league yeah i'm beating in the league since the first day no no we lost our first game that was our first game oh no yeah and then we put ever since then we haven't lost i have never been more certain we're gonna lose than today have you you've not seen him for ages this is my first game of the season are you in league one yeah yeah top of the league yeah smashing it look at that two points clear and we're a chowin oh they're quite far down but they've picked up they are yeah they're a bit shit 17th um well have a have a nice day and hopefully you don't lose yeah it's a curse um josh i need

to talk to you about i am now the strongest i think i've ever ever been oh yeah because i don't really do any i do boxing but it doesn't really do any, I do boxing, but it doesn't really do your strength. That's just sort of cardio. Carrying my children. Oh, yeah. I'm still having to carry them at points, and they're five, well, they're nearly six and four.

They're too big to carry. But now, sometimes, in the middle of the night, and they need a wee, and they don't really want to go, and you have to lift them out of bed, I'm carrying them through, like, the hallway landing. I feel like a bouncer chucking out a drunk girl. They're so big. They're so long.

When a six-year-old just, like, limp half asleep, they're so fucking long. Oh, man. And then you just carry them and have a piss, and you carry them out. It's like, I just keep getting flash-forwards when they're, like, 17 and arrive pissed at the front door, and you have to carry them to bed.

Oh, God. It's got me strong, though. like i'm ripped now yeah well good work you're bench pressing your daughters those midnight toilet runs are getting me ripped dad strength i'm getting peak dad strength you're gonna be gary barlow by 40 do you know what mate i'm fucking it's looking odds on is it it's looking i think it's gonna happen god i'm doing boxing twice a week are you and playing football once if i'm if i'm not working too. I'm doing boxing twice a week. Are you? And playing football once. If I'm not working too much, I'm doing boxing twice a week and playing football at least once a week, which is good. But I eat like I'm on death row.

Whenever I do exercise, I eat like it's my last meal or before I'm executed. Yeah. Do you know what you need to do, Rob? What's that? Protein shake. No, i don't need it i don't need bulking up i need slimming down it's not for bulking up it just stops you then eating rubbish food after you've done exercise is that what it is that's why i do it

right because it fills you up with stuff that's actually going to help your muscles after exercise yeah i'm going to say this now rob yeah go on between me and you yeah don't worry that you're going to be too ripped because you're not there's no no one's going okay yeah i'm fearing that rob beckett is too ripped yeah but what if i get too fit and sexy and everyone just wants they're not gonna laugh at me they just want to fuck me well you know people want me to concentrate at my gigs and like oh my god i don't care what he's saying i I just want to rip his clothes off. That's the danger. And sure, you know, you can give me this advice, Josh,

you can give me this advice about what I should do to get fit, but no offence intended, I don't want your body. You're not my end goal. I don't know what you mean by that, Rob. Well, you're giving me advice and you are in your very lean

and you're in shape. I'm here to tell you, Rob, I'm here to tell you. But you're not what I want. Protein shakes, look at me. They don't make you too ripped. because you're you've got your lean but i want to be a little bit more berry and bulky like a dream protein shakes going mate dream bod foxy from sas who dares wins oh i don't know foxy from us you must know foxy come on mate he's i think foxy's

everyone's favorite and middleton's a bit more famous. Oh, God, he's hot, isn't he, Foxy? He is hot, isn't he? He's a hot guy. Yeah, so you're not going to look like that? Well, I'm not finished getting... Look at the size of his arms. Yeah, but he had to grow them at some point, didn't he? Yeah. But yeah, he is. Yes, he is very... I'm getting

mixed messages, Rob. You want to be Foxy, but you're also worried about being too ripped. I have actually got What the body I want Right Is this I want a body Like a boxer Josh But like a sort of

Yeah Cruiserweight boxer Yeah I'll show you What body I want Go to Google You Let me

I'll just send you a picture There's a boxer called Gassief Who thought This is weird I don't know why I'm telling you all this This is really weird But should I send you a photo Of a man's body that I want?

Yes, I do. I sort of want to look like this guy on the right. That's my end goal, right? Where it's a little bit like, not too big, but a bit muscly. Oh, yeah, go on the right, yeah? Yeah. You like that? That is a lovely body.

I wouldn't say no to having that body. A bit of air on your chest. It's not too ripped. You know, there's no, it's a sort of a six pack but nothing major and just really lovely arms.

Do you know what, Rob? There's a little treat. There's a little treat. I'm going to Photoshop your face onto that when we finish this. Oh, lovely. Yeah, and we'll put it

on Instagram. Yeah. Okay, and that's the body I want, Gassiev's body. And you can stick that above your peloton. Imagine putting your hands through that chest.

Yeah. That's what the front row will be thinking when I'm trying to get my bloody comedy out and they're treating me like a sex object. Fucking nightmare fuel for me. Stop trying to fuck me and just listen to my words. That's what I'll be saying as I storm off stage. Right, Josh, we need to introduce Hate h from steps don't we yes this uh is a wonderful episode

uh steps are on tour arenas across the country hello h how are you hello how you doing sir i'm very good very excited by this josh even though we discussed with h what we wanted to be referred to as, Ian or H, you still said it like you wasn't sure. Well, I didn't know whether to add the words from Steps, because I only ever say the word, you know when you're like H from Steps, that feels like the full name of H. Well, and it feels like

my middle name is always From, so... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER We're very excited to have you on the show, H. Thank you for joining us bless you i am i'm a super fan and i only do things now that i want to do so i'm very very honored to be a part oh brilliant well i was gonna say that because i don't see you on much and it's always and you're doing an arena tour with steps and it's always a good sign if someone's doing an arena tour and

you're not aware they're doing it because it means they've sold out and they don't have to go on sunday brunch so i think there's a few tickets left, but you've sold well. So that means you can get away without the promotion, can't you? There is that. Do you know what, boys, though? It's our 25th anniversary coming up soon. Wow. Yeah. Do you know what? I mean, we were signed on a one single deal with that line dance single that will... Five, six, seven, eight....multiple times of dying, seriously seriously so if you told me 25 years ago we'd still be doing it and packing arenas i would have laughed at you so i feel so blessed yeah on paper it doesn't seem like an equation that would work that 25 years later you'd be doing arenas and a

one single line dancing deal yeah if you put it that way then yeah absolutely well there'll be people doing music promotion degrees going, I just can't work out this one, but you have done it. How did you first, I mean, we are going to talk to you about parenting, but how did that come about then, that signed up? Did you all just get recruited for a line dancing single? Well, it was, and it doesn't really exist anymore, so it was a newspaper called The Stage,

and it was the way that everybody advertised for jobs you know where if you wanted to be a singer or a dancer you know go off on a cruise ship any kind of entertainment job they used to advertise in this newspaper and it was out every thursday and i used to get it and at the time the spice skills were huge everybody had kind of you know saturated the boy band market. And there was one advert in there that said about boy girl looking for, it was like sassy and sexy boy girl band members. And I was like, oh, I can do that. I'm both of those things.

Yeah. Ideally middle name From. I'm already called From Steps. They just got changed my first name. I mean, there was a time where I kind of, I tried to shun it and, you know, and literally turn my back on the whole Steps thing. Yeah.

Because when you leave a group with such a legacy, you want to become, you want your own identity. Yeah. You need to be, you know, a solo artist. And everything just came back to Steps all the time. So, you know, now I've just gone, fuck it, my middle name's from. Also, as well, it's such a strange name for a band, just Steps. But you know why we call Steps, right?

Because of the dance moves. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Dance Steps. And we were signed basically to save the world from country line dancing. That's why we were signed. And we had other singles lined up that were very country and Western based. Really? Oh, wow.

And I still have the demos. Nobody's ever heard of them. Oh my gosh, they're just so bad. Well, I'm sure we'll come back to Steps at some point, but I'm far more interested about your parenting, H. Can you let us know the setup, how many kids you've got and what the situation is, H? Okay, so I have twin boys.

Yeah. So already I'm outnumbered because I'm a single parent. Yeah. They are nearly six years old now, so they'll be six next March. And my goodness me, it is a rollercoaster. Let's put it that way. Twins as a single parent as well. I mean, that must be, that's intense. Yeah, parent as well I mean that must be that's intense

yeah I mean I've never known anything different you know so and I always say you know because Lee in the band he's just become a new dad and he has one a little boy Leo

and he's like how the hell did you do it with two but you know what but you deal with what you're given yeah I say if I had triplets then you just get on with it right and you become last in the pecking order and you know sometimes I don't brush my teeth But you deal with what you're given. I say if I had triplets, then you just get on with it, right?

And you become last in the pecking order. And sometimes I don't brush my teeth. Sometimes I don't eat. I don't drink a cup of coffee until four in the afternoon. But that's what you do, right? Yeah, well, exactly. You get on with it. I mean, I definitely think the more kids you have,

the more wine you drink in the evening. I'm a tequila man, so shots of tequila. So that's how you deal with it, Rob. You've just got to up the percentage of your alcohol depending on the amount of kids you've got. Oh, I've questioned absolutely my liver throughout lockdown. Well, yes, so you was indoors on your own in lockdown. Did you have a childcare bubble, though, because you was a single parent?

Is that how it worked? No, well, I mean, I could have, but because my parents are of an age and they are vulnerable, so I basically spent lockdown. That was hard. I have a big garden and we did lots of things outside. I cannot even imagine how people were isolated with families in flats. I mean, I would definitely have questioned my own mental health at that point.

I mean, hats off, seriously. Unbelievable. And so they're six now. so they're in year one of school? Yes, they've just started year one now, and they go to Welsh school, so they are fluent Welsh speakers for their age, which means I have to learn Welsh because the little buggers will be talking about me behind my back very soon.

Oh, so you don't speak Welsh? I'm learning, so yeah, so I'm a duskord. Duskord is a learner in Welsh. And can they teach you? Well, I understand what they're talking about at the moment. So it's just, it's very basic conversations. But yeah, I have to up my game and start going to classes again because, yeah, soon they're going to be flying.

And did you give them traditional Welsh names? I did, actually, yeah. So one of my boys is called Maxen. Like the magazine? That got me for a few years when I was 40. That's a straight thing, right? Yeah. Yeah, it is a straight... That's a straight thing.

Weirdly, my daughter's called Attitude. Yeah, so one of my boys is called Maxen. And my other little boy is called cubby oh that's a great name and you know funny so and they're both named after animals which is ridiculous so um maxen is named after a horse i had many many years ago yeah and cubby um is named after a dog and it's Aled Jones' dog. That's amazing. How does that come about? Because I did, many years ago, I did Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with Aled Jones. This is the greatest

story I've ever heard of a kid name. Nobody knows that, actually. We did Chitty Bang Bang together and Aled fell in love with my dog, who was a Bichon. And basically, I went with Aled fell in love with my dog who was a Bichon and basically I went with Aled to get his dog

and he called him Cubby you know he said right we need a very regal royal name for a dog and the obvious one is Dewi

so Dewi Sant he's the patron saint of Wales but Cubby is also another saint so that's that's basically how my child

became Cubby amazing and has ali jones still got the dog sadly no the dog actually question to ask that was only going one way i'm an idiot yeah sorry to like piss on your chips don't bring up ali jones's dog that's passed away that was in the email before the interview don't bring up talon jones's dog i didn't make questions and so um and so do you live in wales i live yeah so i live uh not far from cardiff and basically i moved back to the area i'd lived in london and north wales but i had an incredible relationship with my grandparents

when i was growing up yeah and i wanted my kids to have that as well. And do you know what? I'm so pleased that I did. They love my parents dearly and also I can offload my kids to my parents. Yeah, it makes a massive difference, doesn't it? Oh, seriously. But that relationship, that bond they have now is just, you know, it's incredible. It's for life.

And yeah, I'm so pleased I did it. So when you're away on tour, are they with your parents or are you? Well, the last time we went on tour was four years ago and I actually took the kids with me. So I took my best friend with me and she was basically my nanny for the tour. But that was so much easier because they weren't in school in full time education. Yeah. This time it's, you time, it's been a minefield. I mean, I've been spinning plates, I'm juggling balls.

I'm a one-man band. That's a brilliant shout. Yeah, I've seen the encore. So it's been harder because, yeah, also not only are they in school, it's like they have football or ballet on a a Tuesday then they've got this and they've got that and it's a birthday party they start to develop their own social lives and schedules very much so yeah so my parents have moved into my house and they are basically their primary

carers for a month so yeah so and I have an army of friends um you know yummy mummy friends that I call them they're beautiful you know they're just part of my little lifelines so they do you know gymnastics they do football they do swimming they do um you know drama I've lined up something every night of the week every pickup every morning but that's I have to you know because I just want to relieve the stress for my parents do you find yourself like you're about to go on an arena to perform to you know 15,000 people and you're having to kind of get texts about how bedtime's going and stuff like that well i facetime my kids um my kids don't really know what i do because i don't brainwash them with steps uh videos they think i'm an ice skater because i

did that's in a nice um so i facetime them and they do you know what? I would like them to miss me just a little bit more, but they're really not arsed. Yeah, I know. I say that to Lou all the time. I go, have they arsed after me? She goes, no, they've not mentioned you. But you know, but that's, and I was speaking to the Steps girls about it.

They went, that's what you want. You want them to be happy and content and not miss you. And I was like, yes, but I just want them to say, I love you, daddy. Yes, daddy. I know. But they go on the phone and they go, hi, daddy. I had chocolate and I'm watching Paw Patrol. Bye now. and not miss you and i was like yes but i just wanted to say i love you daddy yes daddy i know but they go on the phone they go hi daddy i had chocolate and i'm watching paw patrol bye now and i go on to like perform to 15 000 people great

well it's good though you know they're they're sort of safe and like comfortable with your your parents and stuff i mean as you know as a single parent it says certain things that i know you sort of said you just get it through it, but there must be things that are much more challenging and stuff. What have you found difficult? Is it just that there isn't that other person that you can just go to all the time or?

Yeah, I mean, the first and foremost is that I'm outnumbered completely. You know, it's a skill you develop when you're outnumbered, is that you can listen to two conversations at the same time, pick out words and know exactly what it's about and answer them both. And especially they're starting to speak a new language that you can't speak as well, which makes it doubly hard.

Exactly, yeah. I often, I compare myself to like a daddy blue tit. This is my little analogy. So that daddy blue tit. This is what I, this is my little analogy. Daddy blue tit is flying in and out of the nest. You know, the birds want feeding. They want love. They want attention. They want warmth.

By the end of the day, he looks like he's been dragged through a bush backwards and knackered. And that's me. Okay. And so do they get on as twins? What answer would you like me to say? The truth.

No, they hate each other. Jesus. Really? Oh, my God. They're glimpses of loveliness. But I don't know. Do you know what? You see these parents that have, you know,

these beautiful Insta stories, you know, where they're having fish and chips on blankets, you know, and I'm like, no, my life is carnage. You know, I have to police every second. If I turn my head away, then one of them is bitten, the other. It's ridiculous. Also, I do think, though, your idea of the perfect sort of romantic, like perfect childhood thing is fish and chips on blankets.

I would say that's obtainable, H. I think you could have fish and chips on blankets. No, yes, but, you know, watching a sunset, you know. No, yes, but watching the sunset. Oh, no, never that. Nah. I do hate that sunset dinner with the kids. I'm like, by that time, they're killing each other. Oh, mine's having a dumpy on the rocks.

And have they got like markedly different personalities? Yeah, very much so. So my kids, they kind of switch as well so one is he's very similar to me uh max's so he's all mouth and no trousers so you know he puts up you know he's got a big gob but he's actually a little bit uh sensitive whereas cubby is a very quiet and super confident it's you know it's very very different but it switches all the time with them so you know when i just when i think i've got it i've mastered it they flip and i'm like and i'm back to square one it's yeah it's it's a mic because they check they never it's always evolving

once you do get a handle on it that they've changed as kids and then you know in year one they're a bit sassier now and a bit more they think they know everything because they're getting they're learning at school they're coming home and and going, I know this, I know that, and stuff like that. But they get a bit cocky. I haven't come across the cockiness just yet. I'm not in that ballpark yet. But it's just the things they come up with, which are so innocent and so funny.

So Cubby said to me the other day, he went, Daddy, I wish my winky could stretch to the toilet because I don't want to get up. That's my boy. That's a great line. And of course, I don't know if you do this, you know, with your kids, but I do with my sons. So I'm teaching them to aim properly, to have a wee.

So we have a wee together. Okay. So do you know those little toilet duck, you know, discs? You kind of squish them like gel discs. Yes. We put them on the toilet, top tip, and then they teach them to aim at the disc. All right.

So we're all having a wee together. So is it three urinals or is it one toilet you're all aiming in like a fishbowl? Caring and sharing kind of urinal family. I did have some sort of H trough. It's not a trough in my house. There's no way I could go in that situation. I'd find that too much pressure, I think.

Yeah, I would too, having a piss of H and his two children. Yeah, that would be weird. One of them went, he went, Daddy, your willy is massive. And I went, yes, it is. But my daughters have done that before, going like, Daddy, your bits are like a sausage. And I'm like, in the middle of a swimming pool, changing room, like, shut up.

But how do you... I wouldn't even know where to start with girls, because obviously we're blokes and we know what blokes bits do. So that's a bit of another minefield for me. Well, you don't have to practice aim though. That's the beauty because they just have to sit on the toilet.

Yeah. So I've just thought now because I've got a daughter and then I've got a son who's too young yet, obviously. But I didn't realise aim was a big... How difficult is it to aim your piss? Well, when you're five, clearly a lot. Yeah, it's good.

You can have piss all over your toilet. Oh, God, I hadn't thought about that. Oh, no. A pissy toilet. Always have tiles in your downstairs loo. Jeez. Oh, no. And obviously, they're going...

Obviously, in year one of school, I've noticed it with my daughter. They're learning about all different things and animals. They learn about families and stuff like that. Obviously, are they aware that you're sort of like a single, like a single dad and a gay dad? Has that come up in conversation yet? Or are they still a bit young to sort of, you know, acknowledge that?

Oh, no, I mean, I obviously, from the get-go, we have a different kind of family anyway. So, and there is no traditional family unit anywhere. You know, of course, you know, there are rainbow families, you know, straight families, single parent families, you know, the grandparents bringing up. And so, you know, there is no I hate the word normal, but so I use traditional.

There's no traditional family unit anymore. But of course, they know that boys. So this is the conversation another one daddy boys can marry boys yes they can girls can marry girls

yes they can but a pterodactyl cannot marry a T-Rex that's the most boy thing I've ever heard but you know when you put it like that because they'll eat it right

of course they will yeah I tell you give them 15 years they'll eat it, right? Yeah, of course they will. Yeah. I tell you, give them 15 years, it'll be cancelled for that view. I didn't realise you were bringing out

a bigger age. And so do you take, you try and take them out to different places for days out? Are you a sort of theme park, you know,

guy, or were you taking them to museums and stuff like that? Was it a bit of a combination? Do you know what? From day one, I've been a parent

that has to get out of the house. um even when they were little i mean god it was so so hard so i would when they were bottle fed i would sit on the floor i'd have them both in their car seats i'd be rocking them with their bottles in their mouths literally crying going questioning my mental health absolutely but then i would i'd have to get out of the house you know yes i'm not going to question anybody's parenting because we do it differently but i i sometimes i didn't know where i was going but i would drive and get out of that i'm exactly the same i'd like i'm much better with them out and about rather than indoors i start to go the time goes so much quicker out of the house i think when. When you're indoors, it's just, it can, your day can just go on and on.

But like, you've got to have some kind of thing going on, I think. That's the only way I can do it when I'm really stressed. Even a dog needs to be walked, never mind a bloke with two kids. But I think, you know, it's a curse and a blessing having twins. You're at the same developmental stage so there's no reasoning usually when they're a sibling you know one knows a little bit more than the other and should know better i guess but with with twins it's oh my goodness me it's carnage but also it's beautiful because you already have a friend for life or they have a friend for life

yeah yeah or you know it's not like i have to go on play dates. They have each other to, and as long as I police it, they can play nicely and learn and, you know, and I can have a little bit of respite. So, you know, anywhere I would just go out, whether it be a park, sometimes a museum, you know, if there was an exhibition that was child-friendly, you know, definitely to be child-friendly near the coast. So there's so much on my doorstep that I can do. And I would be out from nine o'clock until, you know definitely the beach near the coast so there's so much on my doorstep that i can do

um and i would be out from nine o'clock until you know five o'clock in the afternoon every day i have to get out yeah and if there's people listening that are like expecting twins or they've just had twins what is that is there a couple of tips that you'd say that things that really helped you out with having twins you sort of learn as as, as they, as they went on? Oh my goodness. I mean, you automatically as a parent, uh, last in the queue, you know, you let alone when you're a twin parents, but I'd say if you want to sit in your dressing gown and not brush your teeth until four in the afternoon, then do that. You just have to look after you. If the house is like a bomb site, leave it. You know, if you need to sleep,

just sleep. You have to, you you know as long as you put yourself it's paranoid your mental health you know your physical health you have to just look after yourself to look after kids how was the sleep that i've just thought like that must be really tough with the the period when like were they different levels of sleeping and one's awake and then the others are asleep like one baby sleeping is hard enough but two must be do you know what because it's a very different traditional family unit so you know the time that i spent with them it was military i i had them in a military routine you know they would make up like clockwork for their five six seven eight teeth bed sleep

sorry you weren't that waiting, didn't you? Always. Yeah. So they were in a really good routine from day one. I've never had my children in bed with me. So I know a lot of parents, you know, they have them in the night because it's just easier, you know, whenever my children have been ill or, you know, or I've been worried that I sleep on the floor with them in their bedroom. But I say from three months, my children have been 12 hours a night babies. Wow.

I can count on one hand since I've taken the size of their cots down the times that they've woken me up in the night for something. That is astonishing. Yeah, they're great kids. They're incredible sleepers. But I swear it's because i've done the tough love thing and it's not for everybody you know i did the you know if i if i picked them up and they stopped crying they just wanted me to pick them up so i put them down you know i did i did love thing

and some people don't agree with that but it's worked for me yeah well i think yeah i think that that is it is tough doing that we and we were a bit wary of doing that, but in the end with our first born, we had to do that because nothing worked apart from basically you just pick her up and then she just wanted to be with us. But then once we did be a bit tougher with it and it was hard to do, but then she slept really well throughout the night

and has done since. But we were just going to send ourselves mad if we didn't try it. And also with two, I think, you know, you've got to give yourself a fighting chance of them being, if they're good sleepers, that at least gives you that to aim for throughout the day. Do you know what I mean?

If you're going one versus two, I think. Oh, totally. I mean, twin parents generally don't have other children after they've had twins. Is it like having a classic car where you walk past and have a twin parent to give them a nod? Like, oh, yeah, we know.

It's like an exclusive club, definitely. If I see, you know, a parent with twins, I go, I've got twins. I get it. It's like a knowing, like, nod. A bit of respect. You're up to your knees and shit. I get it. And you must have to buy, like, so you've got everything in duplicate.

Everything you buy, you have to buy two of, basically. Is that how it works? Pretty much. It's easier to buy exactly the same thing twice because then there's no arguments, you know. And when I get, so if they get a birthday or, you know, Christmas, I'll say to people, if you're going to get them something, get them exactly the same for that reason.

Because they'll just, we have, you you know they have a playroom full of toys and they'll argue over one button you know it's yeah yeah the little shit one from Kinder Eggs that little one literally the full of of uh and it's just it oh my god it drives me mad well yeah we're I've that because they're so close together it's just a two- God, it drives me mad. Well, yeah, I have that because they're so close together. It's just a two-year gap. They do play together, but obviously it's nowhere near as bad as twins. But even with them being that close together, we have to get the same stuff or it just kicks off massively.

You know what? You nearly said it and I was going to rip into you. We had kids close together. It was like having twins. Fuck off. It's not. No. I 100% know why at all. we had kids close together. It was like having twins. Fuck off. No, I, I,

I a hundred percent. No way at all. The only thing you get from it is you get the benefit of what twins get, which is they've got someone to play with when they're close together. However, you don't have to go through the turmoil of being a twin parent. Yeah, no,

but you know, like I said, there's pros and cons, you know, it's, it's a curse and a blessing. I, at least I've got it out of the way in one go,

you know, but I'm still in the thick of it. And at the moment, I decide what they do, you know, the extracurricular activities, you know, be it, you know, obviously they do swimming because that's a life skill, but pretty soon they're going to tell me that they don't want to do drama or football. Yeah.

And they might be in completely different things. And then suddenly you're bringing up two kind of opposite childhoods. But then what happens, I have a great network of parents. So I guess that's when other parents come in. So, you know, we already do that. So I'll pick up, you know, my friend's kids and take them to gymnastics. And they'll do swimming lessons for me. You know, it's scratching each other's backs.

That's how it works. You come across really like someone, you treat parenting like a sort of profession i feel like i'm talking to like a university lecturer about a subject or its history so i know we like we have life skills for the swimming and they're well speaking and stuff like that so have you always wanted to be a parent is it something you've really always wanted to do and like it feels like something you've really prepared for even in advance of having kids of this is how i want to do it as opposed to like oh god I've got kids what should we do you know I've always wanted to be a parent and I always had that paternal longing to have my own children um but being a gay man when I was growing up you know that you know you literally hit a brick wall straight away so I never thought

that was possible for me I never thought you know, I would come out as a gay man. And now I'm openly gay. Oh, really? You thought you wouldn't be able to or you just didn't want to? All of the above. Because, you know what, guys, it was a very different day and age. You know, we live in a very progressive society now. It's much more accepting.

There's still work to do. But, you know, every night on stage now, i live my best life um so one of my little boys and i don't mind talking about this and i don't know where it's going but he likes to wear a dress and you know i'm i don't question that of course if he wants to wear a dress um if my other little boy likes to wear nail varnish you know it's just dress up it's just yeah and then you know one of them likes to push his uh trucks around in his pram you know it's it's yeah they can do and play and be whatever they want to be yeah but on stage i wear a dress now i wear a skirt on stage and i do it for my little boy and i do it for all of those you know i don't want to say boys or girls however you want

to identify i do it to fly the flag you you know, for that part of our community. Because I never had that when I was growing up. And I do a little speech about, you know, how a Steps concert is a safe space. And we have an open door policy. It doesn't matter how you identify, what gender, what sexuality, what color, what ability. You know, you come here and feel safe and live your best life and it has the most incredible cheer because everybody just was accepted yeah that's great it's beautiful it is it really is when did you um pardon my ignorance

when did you come out as gay yeah so um i actually uh came out i think I was 21 when I told my nearest and dearest. But it was actually, my coming out story wasn't a great one, actually. So I had a long-term partner at the time, and I was in Steps, and I got the call off a newspaper, and they were going to out me. Oh, God. So I was on holiday at the time, and I had to fly back and tell my parents and my friends about, you know, and of course they assumed, but it wasn't anybody's story or writing. Yeah, yeah.

Ellie was mine. And I felt like that was taken. I was completely robbed of that moment. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't sure of myself. I never had the confidence. I never felt safe to do that and i was forced my hand was forced and you know once i did that because the newspaper didn't

get any quotes off me so they couldn't run the story so i i did it you know under due rest really and yeah it was a really shitty oh god that's horrible yeah that's awful isn't it yeah it was so tough but then that's amazing that you know you can go through that but now on stage you can wear a dress and say that speech and there'll be kids that would have been you at that age worried about that kind of stuff and concerned and can see you doing that so it you know it's great to see you making a difference those conversations need to start in schools and at home um so, of course, I teach my children about diversity and equality and acceptance.

But they still come home. You know, there are conversations in the schoolyard. One of my boys came home and said, Daddy, girls wear pink and boys wear blue. I was like, well, no, we can all wear whatever colour. So the next day I made a point of going to school head to toe in pink just to prove the point yeah yeah and certainly you may notice i've got my nails painted yeah it's part of my tour costume but i do it for again for one of my little boys

because he loves playing with nail varnish yeah just making things just small changes you know well yeah because i i did a drag episode robin romesh where we did full drag and did a i saw that oh my god that's amazing yeah i mean i was crap but i loved it and enjoyed it and i and i i know and then someone told me oh like going to pick your kids up from school and then you did drag on the telly went yeah i think if i think that's a positive more than yeah you know and i think that's and that's why you know me and romesh wanted to do it as like straight blokes of doing that on the telly and then my kids seeing that and it's like, oh, yeah, dad wore a dress. And it isn't it doesn't matter really if you want to wear it or not. It's not such a big deal. But I think 10, 15 years ago, some people might go, I won't do that in case my kids see it.

You know, that kind of thing where it does feel it's shifted sight now where it's like, you know, it's just a different art form to explore as opposed to, oh, my God, it's a bloke in a dress. I think by showing that on screen, it does make a difference, and especially you at your shows for your boys. How did it feel wearing the dress? Do you know what? I quite liked all the getting ready and going out in it because it just felt like you were someone different.

I'd do me, yeah. Breastplate, the full works. I looked pretty good, to be fair. Do you know what's weird, though? It's like what I liked about it was I expressed myself through stand-up, so I go out and do that, right? So I totally get why people use, to be fair. Do you know what's weird, though? It's like, what I liked about it was, I express myself through stand-up, so I go out and do that, right? So I totally get why people use drag to express themselves. But what I've said to Romesh,

what I'd quite like to do is, rather than do a drag show, I'd like to get dressed up like that and just go out for a night out. Just go out for drinks and dinner. I would enjoy that more than the performing of it all, just as a fun thing to do. Do you think you'd get recognised?

I think me and Romesh, we would. Well, you've both got beards now. Yeah, I know. But I found that more fun than the actual performance, just being in drag. I found it quite... Did you have a name? What was your drag name?

I was... He was called Ruby Banganathan, and I was Rusty Beaver Toofy Diva. Josh, what would your drag name be? Just Josh, I think it's fine. Just Josh Wiener. Just Josh. Josh Wiener-Widdicombe and Sexy Sister.

Do you know what they did? At my nursery, we got an email because there was like, some of the kids wanted their nails painted. And they were like, are we all right to paint the kids' nails and stuff? Because the kids wanted their nails painted and they were like, oh, loads of the, like, they were like, are we all right to paint the kids' nails and stuff because the kids want their nails painted? And they were like,

in brackets they were like, but obviously it's boys and girls because a lot of people get that email and presume that it's just the girls that want it. But loads of the boys were like, really excited about having their nails painted and stuff. It's just exploring. It's just playing.

And they, you know, in a traditional family setup, there is a mum and they'll see their mum's nails painted and stuff it's just exploring it's just yeah exactly and they're you know in a traditional family setup there is a mum and they'll see their mum's nails painted and they want to do that they want to copy stuff yeah and one thing I hate you want to ask you about was that you went down the surrogacy route for your boys could you like in layman's terms explain how that sort of works are you comfortable going through that just because I don't know and I'd like to learn and I'm sure a lot of the listeners might be in a similar a similar boat as well yeah okay so yeah I guess um my surrogacy journey started because the adoption route failed for me um so my my then

partner at the time uh we went on the adoption route and we were quite far down the line we'd done all the courses we'd had all the checks. You know, it's quite an intense, exhausting process. And, you know, emotionally, it was exhausting because you actually had to bring up quite a lot from the past. You know, they were quite intrusive. And I was going to say rightly so. I mean, they need to know certain things about your past, you know, to form a well-rounded picture of why you want to be a parent. But that route just wasn't right for us. So it was at that point that I started talking about surrogacy. And it was probably a good 10 years from initial thought of going down the

surrogacy route to actually having my own physical children that, yeah it was it was quite a taxing process okay so it's kind of like uh it's like almost like a dating app so you get matched with a surrogate and then you are matched with an egg donor so you can choose an egg donor obviously i had i have tadpoles yeah so they need to yeah that's that's that side sorted. Yeah, they got... So we're all good there, yeah. So you can choose an egg donor to fit your family makeup, so your own family background.

Yes. What do you think me and Rob would be fetching egg-wise if we was to sell our tadpoles? You look like a fucking hedgehog at the moment, so not much. I was just trying to make myself look taller. Let's find my hair up. chug at the moment so not much i was just trying to make myself look taller and i imagine as well you want you want the child to resemble you as much as possible so it makes sense to go if you are like blonde hair and blue eyes you'd get an egg donuts blonde

hair and blue eyes that's what my instincts would take me to if i was doing it yeah i mean traditionally that's the way some people it doesn't matter at all. But yeah, so that's what I was looking for, children that kind of fit my own family background. What kind of details do you get? How much info do you get? You have everything. So you have the medical history as well.

And you also have, you pay more if the egg donor has a high IQ, if they've gone to university level or a master level. Oh, really? Wow. Yeah, very much so. So I had a separate donor and a separate surrogate. So I was screened for everything as well because my biology was being put into, you know, into a surrogate. So, you know, the process is, it's quite intrusive.

It's very expensive yeah so my children were born in uh the u.s because the laws are very different in america to yeah okay so in the uk so say uh uh rob you and your uh missus uh had my spoon and another egg and they were cooking. Yeah. Then you would be classed as parent one and your wife would be classed as parent two. Okay. I would have no rights at all over that child. Really?

Yeah. Even though, because basically it's been, it's sort of grown in my wife as a surrogate, but it's the donut and your stuff in there. I would be the parent, even though there's nothing to do with me whatsoever. Even, yeah, even if it wasn't lose eggs, if it wasn't anything to do with it,

so it was a donor, you still would be parent one, parent two. I would have no rights. Oh God. So then how does that change? So it changes when you go to America. So that's the process. You can actually become parent

one when parent two from three months in the womb oh so you can do that in america you can't do that here very much so yeah so then that gives you a sense of security doesn't it over what you know but very much so but um you know they're very different legal processes but this one was more comfortable for me it said it just sat right with me. And did you go over to America for that period? Yeah, not for the whole period. There were many failed attempts for various reasons. I know more about women's ovulation cycles than women,

I tell you what. Best quote of the show. We were talking about this in the two of us the other day with the girls, and I was like, I know more about your menstrual cycles. I don't want to mansplain, but I know a lot about this, guys. Your menstrual cycle. Yeah, so the process was kind of hit and miss

for various different reasons. Egg donors didn't match. Eggs weren't fertilised. Embryos weren't good enough. Surrogates weren't, you know, didn't match um eggs weren't fertilized embryos weren't good enough surrogates weren't you know didn't so many different factors but eventually um i ended up with two beautiful little boys all the heartache was worth it oh brilliant this is a weird question are you do are you at the birth in that situation like well my surrogate, she was 38 weeks. So I'd flown out because she had two weeks left.

So I'd flown out for a little, for a two week holiday. I was like, and this is the last holiday I was there on my own. And I was like, I'm really going to enjoy this book, you know, a really bougie apartment,

you know, massages, you know, beach pool. The day I got there i had taken a melatonin because i wanted to get over the jet lag yeah and i had slept then through 30 missed calls i woke up with a knock at my door going your wife is having a baby And literally, I was like, fuck. So I threw myself out of bed.

It was like a movie. So I called a taxi to take me to the hospital. The taxi took me to the wrong hospital, called another taxi, got to the right hospital, walked into one of those gowns, and I literally saw my children being born that second. Oh, wow. Brilliant. Oh, amazing being born that second. Oh, wow. Brilliant.

Oh, amazing. That is brilliant. Oh, wow. And then, of course, I was, because it did come early, I was on my own across the world with two helpless little people going, oh, my God, what do I do now? And you literally have them immediately, don't you? That's great.

Yeah, straight away. Yeah, yeah, very much so. And, you know, my boy, Surika, is very much part of my children's lives, you know, on a daily basis. So, you know, it's not like, you know, she's not part of us anymore. Yeah, so what involvement is that? Is it more like keeping in contact like an auntie or a godmother type thing? Because we have a

non-traditional family you know they they know that you know they don't fit the norm so from day one they know you know about their their auntie so yeah very much so okay lovely and not the donor though the just the surrogate it's sort of done you've done it that way yes yes so uh yeah they're very different so donor and surrogate are very different brilliant. So yeah, sorry for so many questions, but I find it fascinating. And I think we have a lot of people that have requested different types, you know, non-traditional parenting

and the ways of, you know, conceiving and having children. So it's been absolutely amazing to hear about it. Well, thank you. No, I appreciate it because, you know, for somebody like myself, who never thought I could have children, you know, to have this visibility on a podcast like this is, yeah, it's incredible.

So thank you. Oh, no, thank you. It's genuinely been amazing. And really funny as well. Yeah. Long time ago that we were talking about steps, doesn't it? Bloody hell. Now we're talking about Funky Spunk.

I mean. Which was the other name for the band they were going to go for wasn't it yeah finally we've got my drag name hunky spark um thank you so much uh it's been an absolute pleasure the tour continues so where's the tour at the moment like we're in manchester we're kind of a quarter of the way through now so we're in manchester at the moment oh that's so it's manchester tonight and then you've got a few more loads loads more dates till the end of the year and obviously the new album's out as well, What The Future Holds, part two.

Yeah, go on, name a song off it. Go on, what's your favourite step song? My favourite step song? Tragedy. That new one, that number two on the album. I'll be honest, I've not listened to the new album but I'm a big fan of Tragedy, obviously. I know that's not what you want to hear.

That's fine. What amazes me is that people seem to work that into their first wedding dance but I'm a big fan of tragedy, obviously. I know that's not what you want to hear, Hayes. That's fine. What amazes me is that people seem to work that into their first wedding dance. Because also I'd say the Steps fans are like fans you've never seen before. They are committed, aren't they? Yeah, but you know, we've been around 25 years now and when I look out into the audience,

we have multi-generations there now. And it's so beautiful to see. So, you know, our fans who were children first time around, their parents didn't mind bringing them to a Steps concert because secretly they liked it. And now those children have children. So there's three generations. It's great.

It is. It's beautiful. It's brilliant. Well, yeah, so you're in Manchester and then Aberdeen Belfast Liverpool Leeds Glasgow

Brighton and at the O2 in London at the end of November and then you finish it or you do Cardiff then finish it in Bournemouth I bet that was annoying

did you want to finish in Cardiff yeah are you going to do Cardiff from home or are you going to are you going to stay in the are you going to get a hotel in Cardiff

or are you going to do it from home with well do you know at the moment it's tough because we're in a bubble. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's one goes down.

That's a lot to lose out on. Exactly. And you know, the implications and logistically, you know, you know, mastermind in a tour is a minefield. So, you know, if one of us goes down, then, you know, it's the fans. So that's why we have to be super careful. We're testing every day.

Nobody else comes in and out of our bubble. I have a day off today. I'm in my room talking to you. No wonder you wanted to speak to us. You've got no one else to speak to. You're absolutely desperate at the company. H, you've been absolutely amazing. It's been an absolute pleasure.

Thank you so much, H. Thank you, boys. Honestly, that was a baller scream. Oh, brilliant. Thanks, mate. Cheers, H. Thanks, bye. you've been absolutely amazing it's been an absolute pleasure thank you so much H thank you boys honestly that was that was a ball of screen oh brilliant thanks mate cheers H thanks bye

good luck at the tour that was Ian H from Steps Watkins do you know what I thought I was going to like H from Steps oh mate

but what a fucking geezer Ian what a legend loved him so positive did not disappoint did he no and the biggest surprise Rob Oh, mate. But what a fucking geezer he is. What a legend. Loved him. So positive, weren't he? Did not disappoint, did he? No. And the biggest surprise, Rob,

I am so surprised you haven't met H from Steps before. That has blown my mind. I was looking at him going, I'm sure he's done The Jungle. How has he not done The Jungle? A lot of money in Steps. I thought that was really good. He's so engaging and funny and really interesting. Yeah, really loved him.

What a great guy. Do you know, I don't say this often, Rob. Oh, go on, here he is. That was one of my favourites. Was it? Blimey, I better check it out. You never say that. I think you just really like doing this show.

I don't hand out the honour lightly, but I had a lovely time. We'll see you on Tuesday for another catch up episode cheers guys cheers guys bye bye