Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP1: The boys are back in town...

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

S04 EP1: The boys are back in town...We're back! (a little later than advertised) for lots more (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond...This week it's a Christmas and New Years catch-up episode and it's safe to say things have been 'eventful'...Enjoy. Please rate and review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavourful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelised onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's, at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,

which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to parenting hell with okay poppy can you say rob beckett okay mommy can you say rob beckett oh rob beckett can you say josh widdicombe can you say josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe.

There we go. Oh, look at that. Turn the tables. That's Poppy, who's turned five in December. Where do they live? You've got the name. You've got the voices, Rob. Poppy, where do they live?

That stinks of sort of central London or somewhere posh. They're very confident, middle class. I think that could be the Islington media elite. I'd say half a point. They live in Surrey. Oh, okay. But I got the wrong location, but I described what they are. Well, that is Poppy.

And this is Holly, who is a firefighter in London. Oh. And another firefighter from another station who doesn't have kids got me listening to the podcast. I was seconding to the London Ambulance Service during the pandemic to assist the paramedics and drive the ambulances. And this podcast got me through that hard time. They're not putting it on in an ambulance, are they? It depends.

Not without a passenger. Is it a patient? That's the word. Patient. You don't get in and they're like... And then there's someone in there having a heart attack and you pipe up oh god i've had a nightmare morning had to get a cab to school with the kids in the back um i tell you what though i don't know i don't know i don't want to um

start an argument with london firefighters pandemic, bit easy for you guys. Not many fires. What's the vibe? We know that, you know, obviously the NHS are up against it, but what about the fire brigade? Well, I suppose they're friends in their houses. Are people more likely to set fire to their houses

or is the fact that no one's at work meaning there's less fires? There's not many firefighters in. Just let us know how the pandemic was for you oh josh ever had to call out the fire service rob i don't think have you ever dialed 999 um no fortunately i've had to ring ambulances um in the past yeah for lou and different family members but uh uh no no, I've never requested the fire brigade. No, no. Well, you know, you can dream.

I dialed 999 twice over the Christmas period. Oh, no, really? But both because, you know, I got a knockoff person to replace my Apple phone screen. Oh, yes, you've had problems with your phone screen so you've got a weird little fake screen put on it, yeah? Yeah. It started dialing numbers, and it's dialed 999.

It's put me through to the emergency services twice over Christmas unintentionally. Oh, no! So what did you say? I just said, sorry, my phone's faulty. I didn't mean to call. And then they have to go, can I just confirm? This is, like...

They're very nice about it. In case you're sort of like trapped as a prisoner and you don't want to let on. Yeah, exactly. They said wink twice. Well, that wouldn't work, obviously, because I was on the phone. FaceTime.

FaceTime. It's the future. FaceTime's the... Hello, can I have the fire brigade? Why? You're on FaceTime, mate. Can't you see? Shed's gone.

Shed's gone up in flame. I don't know what's going on. I can fucking show you, mate. Look. What service do you require? I don't know, but I think you mean I need to go to the fucking opticians. There's a fire behind me, mate. The shed's gone.

It's up. Oh, dear. Well, that Josh also as well, Josh. You need a new phone and you need a new computer. I do. Because I know you're very busy at the moment. I'm not as busy as you. I was early today.

You was early? Why your computer? We were meeting at 10.30am to record. It's now 10.40. What happened? It took 13 minutes to boot up. 13 fucking minutes. MS-DOS.

Yeah, I felt like I was on a Commodore 64. It was unbelievable. It's so slow. I've had this computer longer than I've, I realised I bought this in my last house. So I've had it at least

six years. Six years, yeah. And I think as well, considering your job is podcasting now, that's your main job, isn't it? I'm going to buy a new computer, Rob.

Go and buy a computer. Throughout Christmas, I said I didn't need anything. And here I am, day one of January, and I need a new computer. Yeah, but you can't really ask for a brand new computer for Christmas.

No, of course not. I haven't done that since the N64. Your kid's there with a German frozen doll and you've got a brand new Mac One chip, whatever they call it now. Power chip. Don't talk to me about the German frozen doll, mate. Why?

What's happened? Well, no, do you know what? Should we explain what's going on here? We were supposed to do a catch-up episode on the 28th, but we're very sorry that didn't happen. But my Christmas, I've not been supposed to, Josh. Let's start with your Christmas. Let's start with your Christmas, because I don't know about this.

All I've seen is that you've been sunning yourself abroad it was just a lateral flow hell oh my a blizzard of natural flows oh it's just so basically there was like my aunt i think so my auntie yeah um my auntie uh got covid auntie tina she's absolutely fine now i think i've not heard anything i'm sure it's fine it's normally the way we're covered in it yeah okay anyway so she had covid and she but then my mom and dad were with her I've not heard anything I'm sure it's fine It's normally the way With Covid isn't it They let you know If it's safe to Yeah okay Anyway so she had Covid And she But then my mum and dad

Were with her Oh So on the 23rd So on the 22nd No they were with her On the 21st So I tell you what Go and get yourself a PCR

Just to say Because it was negative On all lateral flows No symptoms Right Yeah So it was like Go and get yourself a PCR

Anyway they went and got a PCR On the 23rd So we thought That'd be fine They're coming up To stay on the 24th so we'll get the result in 24 hours that's how it works isn't it uh 24th comes uh no result we'll drive up i'm sure we'll get the result on the way up no result anyway so they so then they go all right we'll see what we do is we'll come up and we'll you know hand over some presents and stuff at the door in case we've got

it and then but we'll go home and then because they're supposed to stay over Christmas Eve and then we'll drive up Christmas morning when we because we'll have the result when we've got the PCR we'll have the result

anyway testing negative every day no symptoms anyway so they go around my brothers and do the same like hand over the thing because they're going to

see them boxing day so wait for the PCR wait for the PCR anyway get to Christmas morning no result oh god Santa's not been Santa's not wait for the PCR, wait for the PCR. Anyway, get to Christmas morning, no result. Oh, God. Santa's not been. Santa's not been with the PCR result.

Santa's not been. Anyway, and then, so then we go, we'll just come up, and then by the time we come up, you get the PCR. No PCR. Lateral flow negative. And then so the whole of Christmas, we're just like...

And then eventually got the PCR result, negative, boxing day afternoon, after they'd gone. Oh, mate. So your whole Christmas day was obliterated by that. and then uh eventually got the pcr result negative boxing day afternoon after they'd gone oh mate so it was fine it was good christmas day was yeah but it was fine because by a pcr wait but we knew anyway because they're both they've been triple jabbed up they they had no symptoms and they and it was all negative from the lateral flow so we sort of knew but you know you just but because if we hadn't gone for the the pcr then it would have been ignorance is bliss exactly but anyway it was just a bit stressful and then then we had lose family over on boxing day which

was great i mean i was absolutely shit faced for about five days yeah and then we went to tenerife on the 28th we were supposed to do this recording on the 27th and then i just completely forgot because we were packing and sorting out and when you texted me to say you couldn't do it that was the first time i'd heard of it. Like, first I remembered it. So it was a great Christmas. The kids had a brilliant time. But for the adults, it was all a little bit... And I think everyone felt the same.

I think, in reality, I'd say the Christmas was great. I smashed the dinner. That was the best dinner I've ever done. How did the nibbles go? Nibbles went well. Dinner went well. To be fair, it was a brilliant Christmas. But also we just put, it was a bit stressful.

But then in the end, we just accepted, we're going off the lateral flow results and that's all we can do because the PCRs are coming. I've heard they're more sensitive than the PCRs, Rob. Really? Who have you been talking to? I don't know. That's the kind of thing people say, isn't it? QAnon.

I've heard it doesn't exist. Look, I've had a quick look at a couple of people on Twitter and they seem to know that LFT... But now it's all bollocks because it's all LFTs anyway. No peace... Oh, mate. I don't think people want to hear us talk about COVID. I don't...

Speaking of someone who had it at Christmas, I am walking through the street with a spring in my step, mate. You are the power cron. You can't touch me. You can't touch Joshua. This guy's not getting reinfected a week after. No, honestly, mate. I could snog Novak Djokovic and I wouldn't give a shit.

Spit on me. Come on. I can take this. Do what you want to me. Open me up. I'm ready to go. So the Christmas was great. The kids loved the Christmas.

Right. And they were pretty well behaved. Obviously got up very early. What time did you start the drinking, Rob? me up i'm ready to go um so the christmas was great the kids loved the christmas right and they would pretty well be obviously got up very early and what time did you start the drinking rob i started drinking i got absolutely smashed out my brain between about 11 a.m and four o'clock and then collapsed i was just passed out of tiredness all evening we didn't play any games because it's just earlier starting it with the kids and stuff but um that was all good it was all good to me. It was a really good Christmas.

Great. And then we'd gone to Tenerife for New Year, which was good. Tenerife. Have you been to Tenerife? No, I haven't been to Tenerife, no. A beautiful place, right? Some breathtaking views. However, we were like...

Is it warm at this time of year? Well, we were lucky. It was 25 degrees where normally it can be around 20 or maybe even less. So we were really lucky with the weather. There was a few people around the pool suggesting there's a breeze coming in from the Sahara, which sounds like absolute bollocks that a dad would make up on holiday. Yeah, it's coming over from Sahara, is it? How do you know, mate?

How's a breeze getting that far? It's a big breeze. It's a small island. Come on, mate. Breeze can hardly get down the road. The problem with Tenerife is, though, Josh, right, it's great for kids. It's a big breeze. It's a small island. Come on, mate. Breeze can hardly get down the road. The problem with Tenerife is, though, Josh, right, it's great for kids. The kids loved it.

The kids' club was brilliant. The hotel was a bit shit, to be honest, though. You had to wear... They were trying to be posh. It was like a buffet, all you can eat. But you had to wear trousers for dinner. Oh, F off. Fuck off.

It's holiday, you fucking losers. So you can have a bit of sweaty breath. Yeah, come on. Buffets make me feel sick. I can't deal with it. I'm never going to go all inclusive again if I'm going to have my dick out at dinner

I'm going to have my dick out at dinner that's the rules well all inclusive is basically alright for an alcoholic there's no way you can eat enough or drink enough

to get your money back all inclusive there's no way we went to we went to Mauritius all inclusive on our last holiday before

before having children before it cost four times as much. Yeah. And I'm going to say, before the last holiday, when it was worth us going to Mauritius. Yeah, you could say, now I'm back in Tenerife.

Back in Tenerife for the four kids, because it's pricey. I am exactly what All Inclusive are looking for. Because I just don't really drink. I'm like that nearly enough there were some Russians there and they were fucking picking up the tab from what I was doing

I felt like a sucker mate because I was like I don't want a drink I'm fine I know I was getting like flashback PTSD pain memories of a kid of going you've got to eat all this

get your money's worth get your money's worth I was like I don't want it I'm not hungry but the thing is the people that are eating and drinking loads you're not beating them PTSD pain memories of a kid have gone, you've got to eat all this, get your money's worth, get your money's worth. I was like, I don't want it, I'm not hungry. But the thing is, the people that are eating and drinking loads, you're not beating them. We're losing it for you.

They're not, so it's basically like the people that aren't really going for it, the ones that are helping the hotel, you're not getting one over on the hotel. They're winning by people that aren't drinking that much. Yeah, exactly. The only way to win would be to walk up to the bar, order your drink, and then pour it down the sink in front of them

while staring them in the eyes. The kids, though, the kids fucking love a buffet. Oh, mate. There was a person there at this buffet. You know sometimes they have the people cooking stuff there. So they have the buffet. Giza was doing pasta. Any pasta you wanted, Josh.

Yeah. What did they want? Plain pasta. Of course they did, mate. Just bowls and bowls of plain pasta, followed by the biggest ice cream you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. One further victory for the all-inclusive hotel over your kids.

Oh, mate. But it was good, though, Tenerife. The thing with Tenerife, though, is when you go out on the strip, I don't know if you've ever been to Tenerife, you are always two streets away from subhuman scum some of the worst people you'll ever see i'm liking the sound of this anecdote it's just did you go out with the kids or did you go out did you have a babysitter and then you went out no no no so i did go out we didn't have any babies i don't really do babysitters on holiday i can't i don't trust it to be honest i just don't know them well enough

i'm quite funny about that. And even the kids' club, we didn't leave them in the kids' club. This kids' club was good because it had a pool and the kids' club where you could sunbathe around the pool, and then there was kids' club people running activities, but you could watch the kids do the activities without having to get up. So you felt like you were on holiday with your kids, but you could sit down and read your book or whatever. but i was laying there listening to a true crime podcast yeah

why not why not relax rob take some time to yourself and relax and the kids were doing like it was beautiful i was having a water fight in the sun and i was like it's a magical moment and then i've got she was walking down the street on her own. I'm like, oh, no, don't go down that street. And I was really worried that my Bluetooth would connect to the speaker that was pumping out heads, shoulders, knees and toes. So holiday was good. iPads are all the way, headphones as well. It's a long flight on it because we went easy jet.

And it's only four hours, but four hours on a sort of crap plane it wasn't a crap plane it was a good plane but you know a small plane with small seats it's a little it's a long old four hours um but that was really good um i just oh no it's actually funny you know that the guys that say yeah ipads all the way there you know what's really funny is uh you know the people are selling like fake handbags and sunglasses and stuff by the beach though because it's so northern so many northern people go to tenerife they they always have a funny little line don't they to draw the english in right so i walked up to this one bloke who was you know obviously not from the northeast you could sort of tell from his vibe um and he went ah much because he's so used to northerners asking

how much the sunglasses are and he says whatever 20 euros and they go ah watch, much? Because he's so used to Northerners asking how much the sunglasses are. And he says, whatever, 20 euros. And they go, ah, much? So his call is, you know, like, evening standard. His phone was, ah, much? And it was the best Northern accent I've ever heard. But, yeah, it's great, Tenerife. But it's a lot of Brits abroad, shirts off, like, English bars.

Did you get out of the bucket hat? No, I didn't get out of the bucket hat. And I i quite like that i like an english pub abroad to watch the football however i do have a limit and i i would class myself as fairly relaxed working class will go anywhere for a drink you know they're part they're my people josh but then there are also that different level that's what annoys me when people think all working class people are the same but there is a level there's a drop off there's a level within being working class on holiday there is a line do you know what i mean yeah so i would go to benidorm on holiday but there are bars i wouldn't visit you know what i mean yeah there is a line would you go to linica's yeah i'd go linica's but there was a bloke singing right and

it was singing it was like a 55 year old bloke-headed, with a trilby on and a suit, singing, like, my way, in a really northern accent. And he was going, right, thank you very much, everyone. I've got DVDs for sale. I end us short. And I was like, who's selling fucking DVDs? He's still selling DVDs. How have you not bought one of them, Rob?

What a gift for Lou next Christmas. I know. I should have got it. They were selling DVDs. How have you not bought one of them, Rob? What a gift for Lou next Christmas. I know, I know. I should have got it. But yeah, so we went out and about. New Year's Eve was a disaster, Josh. Absolute disaster. Basically, it was a gala dinner in hotels for some reason. This is the strangest kind of combination of the most working class

and most posh holiday I've ever heard. It's insane. Is there a middle ground on this holiday? No. You either were in trousers to dinner or you're watching a man sing my way and sell a DVD. This hotel was in denial that it was in Tenerife. It was like it had been picked up from Madrid in the 80s

and then just dropped in Tenerife. All the same staff. Do you reckon they just swapped hotel? So it was a gala dinner, which was like, hotels do this thing i've never i've never stayed away for new year but i hate my birthday and i thought i've had two shit covid birthdays and birth my birthday's a crap anyway i'll be abroad in the sun for my birthday that's all i want to do so we did it but thank you very much but hotels do this weird thing where

you have to sort of like pay for a ticket and make it just anyway, it's a bit of extra money because it's new year. So you're not even invited as a guest. So you are, but it was part of the package of going over new year. So basically instead of the buffet dinner that they normally offer, it was the Scala dinner, but it was like the menu, mate, was like tuna burgers for the kids. What? What kind of kid wants a fucking tuna burger? Get some plain pasta on the bloody menu.

Exactly. So it was all a bit like pumpkin soup. Oh, yeah, because my kids fucking love guzzling down pumpkin soup. Are you sat like it's a kind of, you know... On round tables of strangers. Oh, fuck that. So, exactly. So I went, I've had to pay for it because it's part of the deal,

but I'm not doing it. I just can't do that. No way. So our plan was what we're going to do is we're going to go out and um have a little walk down the front um to mcdonald's yeah lovely get the kids at mcdonald's new year's eve because everywhere else again your holiday swings from one extreme to the other exactly so we've been new year's eve what we'll do is have walk down the front there'll be loads going on you can't get in a normal sort of holiday type restaurant for a plain pasta.

So we'll walk down the front, get McDonald's, right? 15 minute walk. It's a long walk with a four year old in it. No buggy, right? We walk, get there, get a bit lost, can't find it. Again, like we turn a corner. Lou says, we need to get in a cab and go back now. She's panicking.

Lou's not used to the same holidays as I was growing up. I've done my term at Benidorm. I can deal with a lively crowd. She's panicking.'s not used to the same holidays as i was growing up i've done my term at benedorm i can deal with a lively crowd she's panicking anyway eventually we turn a corner we find it i get offered weed five times of course you do you didn't need it after the first one did you also what kind of weed coke ganja pills i've got a four-year-old and six-year-old what kind of even if but there's four different substances there, Rob. One for each of you. Weed, coke, ganja and pills. Well, I only do all at once.

I don't know about you. I'll go hardcore. I'll go over. Give me some ganja. I'm heading to the gala dinner. Anyway, so we find McDonald's, right? We turn a corner. Eventually, after what turns into a 25-minute walk,

turn a corner, shut in. What? McDonald's in Tenerife shuts at 7 o'clock New Year's Eve. What the fuck? Midnight, the rest of the time. What kind of fucking... Sure, there's going to be loads of pissed-up English people at midnight wanting a burger.

Oh, mate. That's why that company's not going anywhere. They haven't got someone like you in the house. Tell you what, they're wonderful. Is it still going in this country? That's why Wimpy won the war, isn't it? Yeah, sure. Anyway, so now, like, my heart sank, right?

I'm like, my head's gone, right? Yeah. Anyway. What time is this? Quarter past 7pm. Right, right, yeah. Head's gone. Anyway, there's a soft play by the beach, right?

Yeah. We sling them in the soft play. The kids are having the time of their life. We try and work out a strategy. Walk back up. The only place open is Tony romer's what's tony romer's italian it's an american steakhouse burger place oh yeah and i i'm gonna say there josh it's i don't want to start beefy tony romer no it was the worst meal i've ever eaten in my life because tony romer does sound like he's quite threatening like in terms of uh he could be a character from the godfather tony romer couldn't he the portions

were i ordered two starters because i didn't fancy a main because it looked like it was gonna be too big i've just sent you some photos of what came i ordered some nachos and some little chicken bites but i've sent it to you on my on whatsapp here we go. This meeting, an empty Tony Romers, weren't allowed to sit outside. Oh my God, Tony Romers does not. I imagined Tony Romers. To be honest, when you said Tony Romers,

I thought you were going to bump into the guy singing My Way again. That's how I was imagining it. No. Tony Romers is like an Amadino in your steakhouse. Have you ever seen a restaurant

empty on New Year's Eve? Even the worst. You are one of our nation's most popular comedians. How the fuck are you in Tony Romers on New Year's Eve? Just six months after the nation took you to their heart

as the symbol of the Euro 2020 tournament, you're sat in what basically looks like a deserted service station. You don't really go to a service station at 1am and you go mate oh i'm gonna have to sit in because i don't want to drive and eat at the same time and you it's the shittest meal no one ate any of it we might as well have just gone home and got crisp no one the kids didn't eat nothing lou didn't eat i did it was horrible that's gone down pretty quickly i can tell you that yeah i've had a pint of dorada and i was raring to go but yeah that was that was a real low point that oh mate

but anyway I'll tell you what we did do a boat trip Tenerife has pilot whales and dolphins this was a good story they are big starters

I know sorry to carry on with Tenerife no I mean this is why you're a better comic at me at certain points is that you will

at certain points how dare you you couldn't even give me a compliment you will exhaust a topic to make the most comedic material where I will keep moving on that is why you are a better comic at certain

points in certain moments that's why you're a better comic okay certain points. In certain moments, that's why you're a better comic, okay? And I don't give out compliments like that lightly. To be fair, anyone who knows Rob Beckett, I'm taking that. That's a good compliment. That's a big compliment. But, yeah, they are way too big as starters. I mean, look at those chicken balls.

Fucking hell, mate. It was horrible. At least you got some greens. You haven't finished it off though no I didn't eat it so then you went where sorry the last day we went on a boat oh so

boat trip so sorry can I just can you just finish off your New Year's Eve once you left Tony Romer's because I'm absolutely oh yeah I went home went home and went into bed yeah

and at midnight got woken up by the biggest fireworks of all time didn't even get onto the balcony to look at them oh mate and Lou was half asleep woke up up and what is going on i was like well it is new year's eve to be fair um yes boat trip uh pilot whales and dolphins live near

tenerife um we went out beautiful boat trip saw them and uh my uh four-year-old was seasick cried for the whole two hours oh mate and uh because basically got the boat and he went well it was our fault though because she said she felt sick and then we gave her a blanket and her ipad and covered her head and she basically sat on a boat watching her ipad not seeing the sea which i don't think it's good that you're supposed to see it's like if you're in a car that's much worse than being if you if you're one of those people that can't even do it in a car yeah i know so she was sick everywhere bless her and then but basically when we got on the boat he there's a there was a fruit platter and the captain went i'll help yourself it's from

free fruit oh great so the kids are smashing the pears and oranges and cherries and beautiful fresh you know that the fruit in spain is amazing right beautiful they're smashing through all these oranges anyway so she's sick. She's sick over the side of the boat. We clean her up a bit, and then I go and sit at the back of the boat with her where it's less bobby. She's properly sick off the boat, cartoon style.

Oh, yeah, full sick. Other kid loving it, not feeling sick at all, right? Anyway, so I sit at the back. He went, oh, yeah, is she all right? I went, no, no, yeah, she's fine now, but she's been sick. He went, oh, that's the fruit. I went, pardon?

She went, yeah. You don't want to eat fruit on a boat. It's fine now, but she's been sick of it now. That's the fruit. I went, pardon? She went, yeah. You don't want to eat fruit on a boat. It's got so much liquid in it that if you do feel seasick, it just sits in your stomach and then you're sick because it's so liquidy and sugary. I went, oh, good. Well, can you not give my children a fucking platter of it next time if it's not the right thing for a boat trip?

But you had a good time. No, we did, to be fair. It it was amazing and on the first night the girls did the did i tell you they did the talent show no they did the talent show you could have won that rob no i didn't but i did think i could absolutely smash this um well first of all we had to sit through two uh ukrainian girls um doing a tiktok dance what which was they were about 17 definitely too old for the talent show when else anyone else was about four or five, and that went on for ages. But they were the kids that had been going to that same hotel

for like 15 years. Yeah, yeah. You know when they walk around like they own it? They know Tony Romo personally, don't they? But we got there on the day, right? Also as well, right, so because it's a bit trousers at dinner, some people are a bit snooty. On the day they were seasick, when we got off the boat,

we had to buy them a T-shirt. So we bought them these Tenerife T-shirts, whichveless a luminous orange yeah and um and they had the little beads at the bottom you know the little beads right um i'll send you the photo like the little beads that's more proper holiday dresses and it's got elsa on the front and tenerife written above it okay so you couldn't get more of a holiday so they're basically you look like a little like a tag team wrestling duo they've got a luminous orange sleeveless vests on with dangly little tassel bits anyway so we take them i'm gonna call it not cleared at disney hq not probably not i doubt disney have okayed that t-shirt we bought it um in the street i don't know yeah and got changed

behind i wouldn't say a hundred percent looks like Elsa like you see where it is but it's close enough and she's wearing a blue dress and got blonde there so we go back into the hotel and then as we walk in

there's some some woman rolled her eyes and sneered at the girls in their tops and I'm quite a placid person and I sort of like got quite zen

and stuff and then the kids run off and I before I could even think i went to her what the fuck you sneering at oh my word rob out of nowhere well out of no i'm actually not like that yeah at all i will go off and slag them off with lou in private or text you yeah and if someone sneers at me i'm like oh yeah whatever you know i was used to that when i first started doing you know i'd go be that when I first started doing you know

I'd go be on be on first class in the trains in a tracksuit and people ask me if I should be there I'm like yeah I fucking should mate fuck off it's the weekend now

give me my fucking snack box yeah exactly but I'd go yeah I am and be a bit shy but when it was about them I just switched I literally said to someone

what the fuck you sneering at and she just walked off what did she say she just walked off gutless gutless. Gutless. She went to the gala dinner. Miserable, old.

Dried up prune. Thank you. Dried up prune. Miserable. And then we went to the kids' mini disco, which they loved. They play all these Spanish songs that they still sing now. I've got the playlist on Spotify, Chocolate. Vamos, vamos.

Come on, come on. The suitcase song is brilliant. The kids love it. So they're dancing away and then they go, and then the parents are sat there, the ones that were sneering, miserable, didn't even get up.

They're at the kids' disco. The kids were miserable. Their kids didn't even dance. Oh, they're kids. There's a bit where you have to get your, you have to stand up. Why have they gone to this place? Because some people are just shit.

You're just shit. You're shit. You're shit. You're out your shit. You're personality's shit. Your life's shit. You're shit. You're shit.

And they were sat there and at the bit when the parents had to dance, they didn't get up. Do you know why, Josh? Because they're shit. They're boring and they're shit and they won't have any fun because they're too worried

about what people think about them so they're sneering at kids having a good time on fucking holiday and I'm sick of it. Go fuck yourself. Ram your fucking snooty nose up your ass. My kids are in there sleeveless

giving it a bit of vamos vamos. Okay? Oh wow. Yeah, so anyway. If you're a kind of snooty person, like you've told me about Tony Romers, they're two streets away from trouble at any point.

Yeah. What are these snooty people doing when they're not wearing trousers at dinner at any point yeah what are these slooty people doing when they're not wearing trousers at dinner why are they there is it just is this hotel just they're just staying in it like they're kind of a fort well i think it's like do you know what because it wasn't it wasn't a cheap hotel it was a decent hotel i think what people do is because i like a bit of going to the local restaurant and eating nice local food and experiencing the culture. But then also quite like having a beer in the sun with my top off, sitting down, having dinner. And then, oh, I like football.

I might watch the football in the sun. And I think that's OK. But I think some people are so anti the perception of, well, you can't go there. And a bit judgmental that they go too far the other way. And before they know it, they've got trousers on having a bowl of pumpkin soup New Year's Eve. You know what I mean? So it's like, I think... Get yourselves down to Tony Roma's.

Put a chicken ball in your gob. Do not go to Tony Roma's. If you are going to Tenerife, I've got some good recommendations of restaurants, but don't go to, yeah, don't go Tony Roma's. And, oh yeah, the talent show. I didn't push them into this at all, Josh. I'm actually quite against it.

So we got there. I didn't sleep the night before because my four-year-old kept on waking up, right? I thought you were nervous about the talent show. Well, no. At times, you're unstoppable, Josh. Everyone has their moments moments don't they I feel bad about that

was that too mean Josh no I liked it anyway so no because I know I know how difficult it is to get a compliment on Rob Beckett I'm absolutely

I'm buzzing I know how many people that you think are shit there's a lot there's a lot many people that you think are shit. There's a lot. There's a lot of people who are doing... People are shit. People are earning a good living. People are earning a good living.

There's people that have been comedians for 15 years and they're fucking shit. And if you're listening to this and you've got a normal job, whatever you do, and you think, I'm quite funny, I reckon I can do that, you can. There's people out there that are fucking... Just be shit enough.

That's all you've got to be, is shit enough to get by there's loads of shit people so if you think you can do it go and do it because there's loads of shit ones you can get rid of is that too harsh or is that fair josh i think if you started naming names i can i don't think i'll do a little list like sad case anyway right so here's the talent show So we got there We not The girls have been up Since 4am right 4 hour flight

Got there Quite stressful Getting a cab Blah blah blah And we get to the hotel Because it's so hard Getting a car seat For kids on holiday

Can I just say at this point You suggested this episode Would be a 20 minute Christmas read Sorry I've done half out right I'm telling you this And then we'll do yours I'm absolutely thoroughly enjoying it

I am fucking on fire at the moment, Josh. So just energy. I've had so much sleep. I've got a UV light. I'm on top of the world, mate. All I needed was a week off. What's a UV light? Are you growing weed?

What's going on? No, my mum got me one. It's supposed to help you not get depressed in winter. Oh, nice. You know, it's all gloomy outside. So you put yourself underneath it? No, so it's only a little. It's about as big as your hand.

But you sit it on the corner of your desk and you put it like where the light would normally come through the window. Today's quite a nice day. But some days it's so gloomy and dark and rainy. If you have that on your desk, it's like you're getting sunlight. Oh, lovely. It's really good, actually. I'm vibing off it. Anyway, so we get there.

We go for dinner. And then we go to the, they go, oh, there's a kid's disco. So we tell them it's a kid's disco. They do the kid's disco. And then they go, it's a talent show after. mean oh we'll watch that that'll be fun and then the the entertainer lady said oh do the kids want to do it and i was like does she know you are at this stage no absolutely no idea the most spanish woman you've ever seen she was like a sitcom character she was so spanish right and um she was like kids do you want to do it and they went yeah we want

to do it and she was like oh okay what you want to do and then my eldest went i want to do a joke and then the youngest went i want to do a joke, we want to do it. And she was like, oh, okay, what do you want to do? And then my eldest went, I want to do a joke. And then the youngest went, I want to do a joke, and I want to sing a song. And I was like, all right, okay. And then the woman went, all right then, come on, girls, come backstage. And they just fucked off. What?

So she just took them backstage. What do you mean? And then we didn't see them for 20 minutes. And they just took them backstage? What is this? Britain's Got Talent? What's going on? And I was like, oh, and then because you're on holiday

you're like oh this is oh that's fun isn't it and then I said to Lou has she just taken her children because until you see them come back out on stage I don't know right so we're sat there

and then they come out let me try and find the right bit of this how are you feeling at this point Lou is absolutely about to blow a gasket with panic and anxiety

because she would hate to go on stage, right? Yeah. So Lou is like, oh, my God. And she's so wild. I was worried for, especially the older one, in case she did it wrong because she was going to tell a joke because I know she would get really upset if she did it wrong. Yeah, because you could blast her a song, get that wrong.

Exactly. But so this is my idea on parenting okay a lot of the times with kids finally two years in we've got they are two things people think that you help your kids develop but actually i think your kids help you develop for example i was always scared of dogs my youngest loves dogs and because she's always wanted to go up to a dog i had to go with her but i couldn't get all anxious and panicky because she would get anxious and panicky so i was like okay now just you know and they've helped me get on roller coasters and stuff like that because you build up parameters of your own life of i do this i don't do that i don't do this i don't do that but the reality is you've chosen that you don't

do those and you're living in that world that you've created but then when something else comes in your life those doors have to open because they want to do things so rather than going i don't do that off you go your mom my approach is i'm going to try and do it and learn like my children learning as youngsters right so that's that one side of it and the other side of it is i lou is desperate she kept on going are you going to be all right you sure you want to do it and i went just shut up because they don't know this is scary yeah yeah exactly this is fun this is play but what you're doing now is you're giving them an adult's view of this could be bad this could be i went just shut up be quiet and just just let them let

it happen don't tell them what to do don't give like and the same as me my instincts to go do it like this do like i go no no shut up rob let them learn you you do know how to do stand up but this isn't stand up this is two kids having fun let two kids go and have fun and enjoy themselves and see what happens what's the worst that could happen and so what me and lou made sure that we didn't say anything we just went okay girls if you want to do it go and just shut up yeah because they don't need us at this point they're exploring on their own and they were much better for it because i think i could have freaked them both out by keep talking to them about it anyway so they've been kidnapped for 20 minutes and then that then they come out and then this is let's see if this works it's how spanish

this lady is Ready? I am. Three, two, one. Why did the squirrel... Why does the squirrel swim on his back? Because he wants to keep his nuts dry. Yes, mate. Smashed it.

Lovely. Really good. Big fan of that. Absolutely smashed it. I was so fan of that absolutely smashed it I was so proud it was such a lovely moment oh my god so that was good

and they came out absolutely buzzing that they'd done that did they tell you what happened in the 20 minutes they basically got given a garland

and loads of face paint and like oh right they basically were just telling them where to do and wait and stuff like that but yeah that was really cute

so that was lovely but I was like so nervous for him. But I thought you can't let it out because then they feed off it. How did the sour-faced woman deal with that performance? Did you ever look across when the joke was there? Well, basically when that happened and everyone was clapping, I turned around, looked at her square in the eye and spat in her face. and spat in her face.

What a holiday though, Rob. What a holiday. So many highs, so many lows. So many highs, so many lows. Isn't that parenthood distilled to an absolute? Yeah, well, it's got to be fair though. That's what I was saying to you the other day. At four and six, you're on easy street. Yeah.

Kids holiday wise. And let's say they're always something there themselves. or it's not it's not it's nowhere near like a normal holiday but but it's like where you could lay on a sun lounge and if you go to some with a good kids club where you can go into the kids club and watch them i don't like leaving them i feel i like enjoying the experience with them there but yeah it was it was brilliant to be fair but yes i banged on for ages i thoroughly enjoyed it it's lovely to catch up. Yeah, well, that's good because I haven't actually got that much.

I just said to Rose, I don't really have much to report because the main story of Christmas was obviously COVID beforehand. Yep. And you got released a couple of days early because of the new six-day release. Got released early.

Yeah, I was out. I was out on the 24th, 23rd. Can't even remember now. Anyway, got ready. It was Christmas. It was very uneventful, Rob. Christmas Eve, went to a lovely carol service at the church down the road. Sounds awful.

Do you know what, Rob? It was very emotional. Was it? Well, you've been locked up in your house for a week. I never go in a church. I'm not, you know, I'm indifferent to religion. Yeah, churches are banter though i like a good church oh yeah they're lovely big buildings aren't they we thought we'll

go to the carol service that was very nice yeah what kind of carols we talking about oh the big ones once in royal david city away in a manger all those kind oh okay the big east all right fair enough no like jingle bells and shit jingle bells isn't a carol Rob What's the difference Between a carol and a song Don't know Christmas carols Religious I don't think

I don't think jingle bells Is religious is it Oh religion I remember When at Harvest Festival You're old foe My Harvest Festival I did Harvest Festival

And it was like Our Lord Emmanuel And I shouted Petit Oh lovely Because I loved Emmanuel Petit at that stage. Really nice. Really nice, Rob.

It was just some good, solid stuff, early doors in my career. That was when you got a taste for it, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. And then I just thought, I want more of this. But yeah, no, very nice.

Made so much food in advance on the Christmas Eve, that Christmas Day... Oh, how was your disgusting, awful fucking lasagna? Absolutely brilliant. Went down a storm, had it on Boxing Day on the day after. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh, that Christmas Day. How was your disgusting, awful fucking lasagna? Absolutely brilliant. Went down a storm, had it on Boxing Day

and the day after. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Sad case. Absolutely loved it. Rob, I've seen what you ate on New Year's Eve, mate. Fair, fair point.

I would have paid, I reckon, 30 euros for your lasagna. Oh, mate. It's a great lasagna. It's a great... And do you know what? I had some lasagna out a few days ago.

I turned to Rose and I said, this isn't as good as my lasagna. This is not as good as my lasagna. Oh, that's such an old man thing to say. So Christmas Day, very nice. Everyone could come because of... LFT. Oh, mate.

Oh, mate, I'd forgotten about this. Go on. I had to lateral fly my daughter before everyone could come. She'd had such a bad time with the PCR test in the car. But obviously in the car, she was strapped down. Yes. So, it's fine.

Half the work's done for you there. Half the work's done for you. So, Christmas Eve Eve, before my wife's mum comes, she keeps putting it off, and we're like, we're going to have to do this. Yeah. Right. We eventually end up having to hold her down.

Oh, no. Like, it was like something from a film, yeah? Yeah. And obviously, it's impossible to hold down a four-year-old and lightly scrub their nose. They're strong little fuckers. They're strong. Yeah, they're able to move their head, their arms, It's impossible to hold down a four-year-old and lightly swab their nose. They're strong little fuckers. They're strong.

They're able to move their head, their arms, their body and their legs and you can't cover all of those, two of you, while swabbing a nose. Long story short, Rob. Yeah. At 11pm, I find myself creeping into her bedroom to swab her nose while she sleeps. Kyle, what's that?

Fucking hell, that's tense that is so you didn't do the mouth just the nose it's just the nose for kids um so we were downstairs we're like we've got to do this go up initially she's still awake come back down go back up and the excitement she wasn't just asleep, Rob, but her body was, she was wide open. The nose was absolutely there for the taking. Yeah, that nose is snuggled up next to her teddy. Yeah, exactly, you're in real trouble. But she was facing the door, the nose, she was lying on her back, the head was, she was lying on her back, head facing the door,

nose out, absolutely. Big sniffs in yeah oh man creeping in wooden floorboards which obviously you know lovely most of the year but not what you need when you're that's the that's the problem with period properties you can't sneak in and swap your kids nose they weren't doing it in the 1900s were they wrong no there was no flu at all around then no exactly exactly so crept in Rose didn't come in because I didn't want

the extra set of footprints I didn't want anything else to come through so I did it it's so tense I can't tell you it's like

it's like mission impossible so you're going right in then or just around the edge a bit I suppose you want to make sure she's going in few circles yeah

and she kind of reacted she did a She's going in a few circles. Yeah. And she kind of reacted. She did a few like sniffs. A few reactive sniffs. Good. Just now she's still, yeah. The feeling. The feeling when I got out of the room and she hadn't woken up was like nothing else. And then you're like, oh wait, she could still be positive here.

Yeah, exactly. This isn't finished. Went downstairs. Yeah. exactly, this isn't finished. Went downstairs, did the lateral flow, and she's negative. Christmas has begun. Pour a glass of wine. This is happening. At that exact moment,

my son starts crying. I couldn't fucking believe it. We had one as well. When my dad did his lateral flow, it was negative. And then, you know, and then we went off and then came back and it was positive. Oh. What? What?

What? Because you think when it's gone past and it's not come up and then it's gone past the second one. So basically, you only look at it between 20 minutes and 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, the stuff in the atmosphere can make it go double line. Right. So you only take notice of it between 20 minutes and 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, the stuff in the atmosphere can make it go double line. So you only take notice of it between 20 minutes and 30 minutes. So we redid him and it was negative. But we were like, fuck! It's horrible.

It's so... Because we had to get tests on the way back from the airport because you have to do that thing now. We had to test lateral flows before we left. And then we had to do a test on arrival and you're supposed to isolate until you get the results, so we did the um the test when we come back so we landed and went straight to this drive-through test center in gatwick and it was so funny because my six-year-old had to have hers done and we went through they did ours and then i put her window

down like that and as the bloke walked towards the window she just did her window up and just held her finger on it and I was like I was like move it so you can put it there and she went no so funny but how was your new year and stuff like that

like what's it been like after Christmas so then obviously we've been locked in the house with the kids which is magical 28th we've got our first

you know I've cancelled all of the social engagements over Christmas yeah 28th we've got our first thing which we I've cancelled all of the social engagements over Christmas. Yeah, yeah. 28th, we've got our first thing which we're going to go to with no kids. This is when... Ooh. Yeah, go for drinks.

That morning, the nanny who's covering and doing the morning so that we can have a drink. Yeah. Text us. Positive lateral flow. Oh, my God. Cancelled. No social then. Again.

Can't one of you go? I went for an hour and a half. Oh, right, because you felt bad. Because I wanted to show my face, but I didn't want to. And then, so that was my social. Got back in the car at 9pm. There's something quite nice about getting back in the car at 9pm. Is there?

No. I love your positive. This is when you said it's really nice watching a documentary at 5am the other day. 5am's a memory now, Rob. What's the sleeping like? What's happening? So, levelled out about 5.30, 6am, Boxing Day morning,

back to 4.30. You've got to be fucking kidding me. So what's he on now? We keep up the sleep training. We're like like we're going to carry on yeah 4 30 boxing day 4 30 the next day 4 30 the day after and then we've been on sixes we're back it's just worked and when he wakes up he's chilled as hell he's he's accepted that it's happening he's accepted it's happening that's good because our kids were on a 5 30 run for a couple of weeks for no reason whatsoever but i think the

holidays put them back we're waking up at seven for school now before they'd be up from six which is good and the dog the dog we got the dog back from the little kennel place and uh he's sleeping till 7 30 oh mate we're flying we're flying in the beckett house the uv lights on the kids are asleep. The dogs are asleep. Yeah. I mean, I haven't got a life, obviously, still. But, you know, New Year's Eve.

Oh, yeah. What are you doing? I need new pillows, by the way. What pillow are you on? I've got a great pillow for my neck. Have you? I'll send you a link. So it's really good. You've got to have the right level of pillow, Rob.

Yeah, my pillow game is all over the place at the moment. Yeah, you need a second pillow. Because people keep nicking my pillows. The kids them lou takes them i don't i just get i basically have whatever's left yeah you need a proper pillow i need i need a pillow my name you know i take my pillow to the hotel obviously that's the that's what we should have done i need to get a pillow and then take it to a hotel but when i when i need to go to hotel not immediately i'm not like you're having an affair with it i'm gonna take this go to a hotel, not immediately. When you need to go to a hotel. Not like you're having an affair with it. I'm going to take this pillow to the hotel and fucking sleep the fuck out of it.

I'm going to sleep you to fuck, yeah? My neck's going to be so good in the morning. So, yeah, if you can send me that pillow. Oh, yeah, what was your new year? It's the first new year where I've made an admission to myself. I don't need this, Rob. I don't need new year. I hate new year. I was in bed.

I was like, we were like, oh, we should stay up. And then we were like, why? Why? Why am I making myself tired tomorrow to stay up? Yeah, pointless. In bed, 10pm, lights out. Next morning, loads of texts from fucking losers that have stayed up for no reason.

I know. Why have you stayed up to text me? What's wrong with you new year new me no new year same me stop fucking lying to yourself it's your same mate that said they were going to do this 15 years ago no you won't because you're fucking shit you're not going to change anything if you're if you're looking to change your ways of life don't start by staying up late and getting pissed. That's the worst way to start the new year. Hung over and depressed. That'll sort out my new venture. January the 3rd, I'll be back.

Like, what's wrong with you? It's bad luck. Start on the 30th, you fucking loser. The freedom, Rob, of deciding that you're not going to do New Year is unbelievable. It's so shit. I hate it.

I've hated it forever. Basically, millennium. That's when you first start to pay a ticket to get in a pub. I hate it. I've hated it forever. Basically millennium. That's when you first start to pay a ticket to get in a pub. Do you know what I mean? It's crap. Really crap. Do you know what? I just felt, obviously, if anyone invites me to anything good next year,

I will accept. But I felt really good, Rob. I felt great. I was so pleased that I'd done it. Yeah. You feel incredible from the start of the year. Yeah. What a couple of old bastards no resolutions for you then just cracking on with life i'm on a diet rob because i uh i

think that's fine everyone's on a diet because christmas is indulgent i'm gonna put on nine pounds jesus christ yeah it's like i was you know getting ready for a film role. Where does it all go on you when you put on weight? It goes face and stomach. Mine goes love handles and tits. Love handles and tits. So together, Rob, we can be a really big fat body. Face is okay, actually. Face survives.

No, it's not. It's the worst one. What's that? Everyone can see your face. You can't dress your face. No, no, no. My face survives. Oh, I see.

Sorry, I thought your face was a good one. Which is dangerous, though, though, because it means I can let it slip for longer because you can't dress your face no no but my face survives oh I see sorry I thought your face was a good one which is dangerous I know because it means I can let it slip for longer because you don't see my love handles well I've got to wear a suit because I'm doing Graham Norton tonight oh are you oh I am yeah

what are you promoting a tour oh yeah buy tickets to Josh's tour buy tickets to my tour yeah they said have you got anything

on have you got any material on films starring Denzel Washington? And I thought, not particularly. Are you on with Denzel Washington?

He's on Zoom. Oh, fuck off Zoom. I hate Zoom. I think, I was very excited. I think when you tell people that you're on with them,

they need to mention Zoom before they say the name. Yeah, Zoom, Denzel Washington. Okay. Denzel Washington, what?

Zoom. Yeah. I was Washington. What? Zoom. Yeah. I was on the one show with Lin-Manuel Miranda. I was on the one show with Jamie Foxx. I couldn't wait. I was like,

this is going to be a fucking great selfie. He's on fucking Zoom. He can't do a selfie with a fucking screen. No. Because I can just put him on the screen.

I can just put the one show on over and do a selfie. Well, exactly. You might as well say you've met Denzel Washington because you've watched him on Ground Norton could just put the one show on over and do a selfie well exactly you might as well say you've met Denzel Washington because you've watched him on Ground Norton on fucking Zoom

exactly who you else shown with Martin Freeman oh that's a good people are feet are you sure they've not double booked the same man well Rob

I'll be honest I'm planning to dust off the old auditioning for the Hobbit anecdote for the 400th time the key to Ground Norton is have stories about the more famous people because that's who they want to talk to.

We're there in case they're silent. Exactly. Do that one first and then go, actually, I also got auditioned to be in The Equaliser or a massive Denzel Washington film. Do you know what? I'm going to say that. Do you know what, Rob?

I'm going to ask Denzel Washington whether I'll do the podcast as well. I thought, why not? That's great. Why are you there? Also, yeah, but that's a funny joke. If you talk about auditioning for The Hobbit, say you also audition for and just pick a really famous Denzel. What's the most famous Denzel Washington film?

Training Day, probably. Training Day, yeah, because that's the least like you as well character. Denzel Washington famous films. I won't lie, Rob. That's what I was Googling yesterday when I was trying to come up with some anecdotes about Denzel Washington movies American Gangster

that's quite funny because of the name's funny but people might know that he did it, Training Day's your one Rob Training Day is your one Malcolm X I'm not saying that Rob John Q, remember the... Yeah.

Do you know what, Rob? Here's another thing. Go on. That is a really good joke suggestion. And sometimes you're a better comic than me. Isn't that the way? We're all sometimes better than other people at stuff. Yeah, exactly.

Well, that'll be a funny joke. So there we go. But that's the reason I've been dieting. Because I was like, I've got to wear a fucking suit on So there we go. But that's the reason I've been dieting, because I was like, I've got to wear a fucking suit on January the 6th. That is brutal. That is brutal. So there we go.

Who else are you on with? So, Years and Years. Yep. And actress Nina Sasanya, who is in lots of things. You'd recognise her, but I'm most excited, because she does the voiceover for Moon and Me,

the absolute king of this. Oh, I know Nina Sassania. I know her. She was in Teachers. She was in Teachers, yeah. Is that what she's promoting? I'm going to say, Nina, you don't need to be here.

I've already seen it. It's on BritBox. It's on BritBox. I've seen it and I enjoyed it. What the fuck is BritBox, by the way? It's basically got iPlayer and ITV stuff, but just go on iPlayer and ITV, innit? I've got a good anecdote about BritBox, Rob,

if you want to hear it. Go on. About two years ago, the exec on our last leg came in and he said, big news, we've been signed up to BritBox. And at this point, BritBox wasn't even in the UK.

It was an American thing for people that wanted to watch British TV in America. Oh, that's quite good, I suppose, isn't it? Yeah, but you should have seen what they had at that point. So it's basically, if you lived in Texas and you wanted to watch Rosemary in Time, it was that kind of situation. Anyway, about four weeks later, how's it going brit box yeah it didn't work out they've cut us from brit box oh no we've been cut from brit box we've been cut from brit box mate oh brutal josh there might be a good good show in tonight you might get back on it

um right is there anything else we need to just oh basically so the plan of action for the rest we've got we're supposed to have a little break in january but we're not going to do a full break we are we're very but you're you're especially busy especially your tour back and our tours back so we're going to do a couple of episodes in january that are going to be chatty catch-up episodes because we haven't got the time to schedule in interviews with people we want to get off to a flying start rather than try and kind of... Rush it. Try and rush it, yeah. So we'll do another couple of catch-up ones in January on Tuesdays or Fridays, whenever we do them.

And then from February, we're going to be back with guests. But January's just going to be us having a catch-up. And we're also going to throw out some best-ofs during January. Which will be quite good, actually, because if you've started late and not listened to the full back catalogue, you can get a little taste of some of the early eps. But yeah, we're going to do loads of more interviews from February and we're

going to make sure we get a lot more comedians on it got a bit celeb heavy towards the end of last year it was book season so yeah I know we're going to try and get a few people lined up what we tend to do I feel is we're either doing comedians or celebs and we're going to try and work out that you can have like you can have a mix

over a year can't you you can have the best of both worlds but yes that's what we're going to try and work out that you can have, like, you can have a mix over a year, can't you? You can have the best of both worlds. But yes, that's what we're going to be doing. And sorry for the slow release of this one. I know how frustrating it is. I've been refreshing all my podcast feeds over Christmas. You can't believe it. You've been refreshing this going, they've got to have done a new episode, haven't they? I know, yeah. But yeah, blame

COVID and Tenerife. Yeah, exactly. That's the way forward. Anyway, right, Josh, well have a good one tonight. Make sure you mention the podcast. I will. I'll ask Denzel Washington about it after I've done your training, J-Joke. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

I think that'll go down well, that joke. And he'll do a really big laugh and then ignore you and talk about his new film. He'll be two seconds delayed because he's on Zoom and he'll go, sorry, who's saying this? Who are you? What's going on? Am I drunk or is there two little odd white Englishmen there? Is it double hobby? Three if you count the host.

He's Irish. He's Irish. Oh, skinny teeth, Norton. Right, okay, we'd better go because we've got stuff to do. Like look after our kids. I'm having my hair cut. Oh, God, look at this guy. So showbiz.

Right, I'll let you go and get ready for tonight Josh good luck getting in the suit thanks guys bye cheers bye