Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP13: The One Where Rob Helps Out On A School Trip

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

S04 EP13: The One Where Rob Helps Out On A School TripMore (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce even more Parenting ...Hell Live shows!! On top two the already announced Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April 2023) and London 02 (Friday 21st April 2023)- tickets are now on general sale but going fast!! We're also doing the following shows;19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 23rd April 20223 - Wembley Tickets are available on pre-sale to Parenting Hell mailing list subscribers at 10am on Wednesday 2nd March (the link will be sent out around 9am - please don't email or message us before that asking for the link!!!!!) To sign up to the mailing list if you haven't already just cut and paste this into your browser:parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:34 It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at Questrade.com. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
Starting point is 00:01:10 each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or, hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe. Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckett?
Starting point is 00:01:35 Yeah. Say Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whitcombe? Rob Beckett. There we go. There we go There we go I like that
Starting point is 00:01:45 Bit of aggression in there Yeah Do you know what Rob This feature I heard it this morning As a listener for the first time Because as you know Sometimes when I can't sleep
Starting point is 00:01:55 I'll put on a podcast Rob Yeah Have you listened to our one? No but it played through So I woke up And I was listening to the start of Parenting Hell Yeah because it goes on to the next one did it yeah i don't know why i've subscribed to parenting hell it's probably
Starting point is 00:02:10 something i did first week of parenting hell in an attempt to boost it up the charts it's still in my subscription josh yeah it's a numbers game so i listened to it i was like oh that is good that anyway hello this is my two and a half year old son is that what you were saying that you do think it's good i thought you i thought there was more to that like oh yeah i think we should do that it's good no no do you know what i was thinking do you know what i was thinking you're being weird i'm not being weird it's not 20 past nine in the morning where are you are you how you're you're not you're on tour aren't you i'm on tour rob i'm in a morning. Where are you? You're on tour, aren't you? I'm on tour, Rob. I'm in a hotel.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I'll let you in on a secret. The internet wasn't very fast. So I phoned down to reception. And they've put me on a VIP internet so that I could record this podcast. Fourth floor VIP. I'm on now, mate. Are you? You're on a VIP deal.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Because I could tell you weren't at home. Do you know why? Because there's joy in your voice. There really is, isn't there? I'm giddy. Do you know why? Because there's joy in your voice. There really is, isn't there? I'm giddy. I'm giddy. You feel like your voice is dancing.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Like the early, early days of Last Leg. When you were just a young buck. It's all got a bit heavy these days. Yeah, exactly. Sat on that sofa going, do they know I'm not disabled? I'm not going to bring it up. Are they aware? I'm not telling them.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Hello, this is my two-and-a-half-year-old son, AJ, Asher James. We also have a six-month-old son, Ollie. My wife was introduced to your podcast by her best friend who lives in England, so we've been binge-listing from episode one to now over the last few months. Two kids under three with minimal family support in a pandemic is a lot, so knowing we aren't alone with some of the crazy shit we experience helps. Oh, do you remember that? Oh, yes. The train got caught up in the hair. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah. From another pair of tired parents, Rob, the Canadian, and Nicola residing in Canada. Vancouver. Vancouver? I always wanted to go to Vancouver, but it's quite far, isn't it? Yeah. It's really far away. It looks nice, Canada.
Starting point is 00:04:11 I used to enjoy Due South, that Mountie thing. The Mountie? Do they still have Mounties? I don't know. I'm going to show you. Is it like Morris dances for Canadians? What is a Mountie, Rob? I don't really understand it.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Well, they're police. They're like Mounting Police. They're members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police because they're on the pulse back. And do they have full authority? I don't want to be arrested by someone looking like that. He looks like the first ever postman. But they are.
Starting point is 00:04:37 It's a bit like beefeaters, I think, or like, you know, in England, you know, the changing of the guard with them stupid big furry hats. Michael will know. Michael, Michael, what's the score with Mounties? How will Michael know about Mounties? It's the kind of thing he's going to know.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Well, my mum is actually Canadian. Oh, here we go. Here we go. I didn't know that. I didn't even know that. But I've got no idea what the answer is. I was going to do a Mountie by a Mountie joke, but I thought better of it. You kind of had your cake and eat it with that joke there, Rob.
Starting point is 00:05:04 You've both not done it and got to do it, in a way. And then Michael's gone back on mute, so I don't know if he likes it or not. Makes you very stressful to record when he's in charge of the edit. No, so the Mounties, they are police. Yeah, so I think they're like specific police, horseback police. There we go. Anyway, so I'm glad we cleared that up.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Glad we've just lost our Canadian listeners. I think, though, if you ring the police and you say, oh, my God, the house is being burgled, I think they send cars with police in it. Right, they don't send a Mountie. Yeah. That clip clopping up the street. God, I'm really shooing his oof.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I can't get there tonight. So, yeah, anyway, big up Canada. Oh, Mountie police fucking scare me. You know when you have a football match and there's a fucking huge horse and you're just stood next to it jesus christ that's scary i don't know all sees i went all surrounding once it was horrific and all the little village but you know the little countryside people that know all sees were laughing at me because i couldn't do it properly and i felt like saying don't i don't know what i'm doing i wouldn't
Starting point is 00:06:02 laugh at you on the fucking tube getting lost on the circle line. Don't give me shit. You would. I would. No, I wouldn't. I'd see them with their stupid big thick waxy coats on, getting them all sweaty, their stupid big boots with all mud on them, all looking panicked at the sign.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I'd go, where are you getting to? All right, yeah, no worries. Get that one down. I wouldn't just laugh at them. And they laughed at me and I had my bum. You send them on the Piccadilly line when you know they needed to get on the Victoria line. Laughing to yourself. Giggling they're going to end up
Starting point is 00:06:27 in cock fosters because it's got cock in the title. Are you choking on your tea? No, I wasn't choking on my tea. I was enjoying a joke while trying to drink my tea. My tea bag's burst, Rob. My tea bag's burst.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Oh no, you dirty bitch. All the bloody tea leaves floating around in the tea, but there's only two tea bags in the hotel room, so I've got to go through with it. Ring them up and say you want VIP tea bags.
Starting point is 00:06:52 This is where, that's where Jose Mourinho lived for four years at a hotel. It is where Jose Mourinho lived. I wonder if he had problems with the internet. Do you know what? I won't give you the,
Starting point is 00:07:00 I won't give you the, for the full password, but it did contain the word football, the VIP internet password. So it's for all the footballers. Because the Football Man United stay there. It's the full password, but it did contain the word football, the VIP internet password. So it's for all the footballers. Because the football, Man United stay there. It's the Lowry, isn't it? It's where Man United stay.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And I once was in this hotel. That is a fancy hotel. You don't always get nice hotels like that. Oh, this is my favourite, Rob. This is where Wayne Rooney slept with that sex worker. That's this hotel. Is it? It is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Wow. But yeah, and i was here once and i shared a lift with those um guys that own man city oh shake man sir yeah i was in the lift with shake man sir i because you get a lot of basic because there's always gigs if you're like a touring comedian as well that's that's a good hotel because it's near everything so if you're getting over to blackburn or you know people stay there and get all the different gigs around there i did it i did it once and because he's got the arena near there you've got the the lowry and you've got the manchester o2 academy there's loads of venues i i was doing it once and i was sat there having breakfast in the morning and um paul whitehouse came over to me because
Starting point is 00:07:59 he was doing a tour of harry enfield and and paul whitehouse spoke to me when hello mate how's it going i was like paul whitehouse knows who i am and i absolutelyhouse spoke to me and went hello mate how's it going and I was like Paul Whitehouse knows who I am and I absolutely jizzed myself and I was terrible in the conversation and when he walked off I was so upset
Starting point is 00:08:11 that I sort of didn't but he's one of my heroes Paul Whitehouse I love Paul Whitehouse he used to live quite near me when I lived in Highbury
Starting point is 00:08:19 he's a Tottenham fan isn't he yeah he's a nice bloke Paul Whitehouse when I've met him really liked him oh god I love the fast show do you know who lives
Starting point is 00:08:25 near me? Tamara San and Craig Fairbrass Craig Fairbrass from Cliffhanger and EastEnders That's the one Wow
Starting point is 00:08:32 The only person ever to do that double Yeah because Sliced Alone still could do EastEnders we can't rule that out It is a good quiz EastEnders and Love Actually
Starting point is 00:08:41 Marty McCutcheon There we go Who else has got I'm sort of running out now a bit who's been in East it's a shit actually it's a really bad game
Starting point is 00:08:53 EastEnders and Grange Hill oh who's that Todd Carty Todd Carty EastEnders and The Business what's The Business okay
Starting point is 00:09:01 EastEnders and Football Factory Danny Dyer yeah it's either impossible or too easy that game yeah EastEnders and Football Factory. Danny Dyer. Yeah. It's either impossible or too easy, that game. Yeah. EastEnders and Carry On Camping. Barbara Windsor.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Yeah. There we go. Do you know what? Give us a fucking BBC One Saturday night show. Here we go. We've got a format. This is a great idea, isn't it? Send them in.
Starting point is 00:09:19 We'll play it. Right, I've got another one. EastEnders and Britain By Bike with Larry and George Lamb. Is it George Lamb? No, it's Larry Lamb. Oh, for God's sake. Got it. So close.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Josh, I've got a public service announcement. Oh, no. It's March. Oh. Rubber up to save your Christmas. Put your dicks away. Put your dicks away. Lock up the vagina.
Starting point is 00:09:44 It's no sex time. If you conceive now, your Christmas is ruined for the rest of your life. If you are having sex as you listen to this, stop. Do you know what? Even January's bad. I'd say I wouldn't start fucking again until about, what, mid-May? Yeah, exactly. I think after Easter. Give up sex for Lent after Easter.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Get your end away. That's what it should be. I didn't realise it was March, so here we go. Stop having sex. Obviously, I've. That's what it should be. I didn't realise it was March, so here we go. Stop having sex. Obviously, I've abided by it by mistake, currently. Yeah, yeah. You've been on that train
Starting point is 00:10:09 for a little while now, haven't you, just in case? Do you know what? That's safer than sorry, my friend. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I've actually been keeping it a long time since last March, so don't take any chances.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Oh, Josh, as well, you know I slagged off Black's, the mountaineering shop um oh wait i don't really realize that there's quite a lot of people listen to this including most of the people that work for blacks the mountaineering shop um and uh i've basically because i was in the shop bought a backpack and they ordered it uh online for me and they didn't have any so i had to go back in store to get my refund. I moaned about it.
Starting point is 00:10:47 And then someone rung me up and apologised and did a refund over the phone. What did they think of you as they did that, Rob? The vibe wasn't great. It felt a bit like, why have I got to do this? Just because he moaned on the podcast. But I spoke to Emma and Laura at Blacks. They were very nice and explained the policy, Josh. So basically, it's to stop you.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I know because I was moaning about it, but then i felt really bad at the end of the conversation if i see you in a blacks advert in six weeks no they offered me they offered am i am i part of a viral marketing scam by your blacks but it's annoying actually they're getting more advertising they offered they said we're really sorry for this mix up and they explained the policy and this is we'd love to send you a backpack to say, sorry, I said, no, I can't be bought unless it's in a prearranged advert, which is fair enough. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:32 But I said no to that stuff, but they explained the policy. Basically it's a security issue. If you do it because you basically, they don't have your, your details on file like they do when you order it online, you have to take the physical card in, but they did it anyway. Cause they sort of trusted me to read the card number out
Starting point is 00:11:45 because you could ring up and pretend to be that person and use the card. I don't really understand it, but that's their policy. But if you do ring customer services and you can't, if you're like, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:54 accessibility issues, you're a bit older and you can't get back to the shop, they will do it over the line, but it's not policy. Okay, so let's draw a line under Black Samantanian shop. Accessibility issues
Starting point is 00:12:03 or you need to have appeared on seven Mott the Weeks. They're the two options, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, basically, yeah. So anyway, they were very kind and nice. Let's put a line under that. But I did not take the free backpack, just so you know. I wouldn't have bought one from elsewhere.
Starting point is 00:12:16 OK, OK, OK. All right, you're not a politician, Rob. It's fine. I feel stressed. It's stressful here. Well, do you want me to tell you about my... I wasn't going to talk about this, but it's reminded me. Oh, go on.
Starting point is 00:12:26 You know, I was in Edinburgh last week. Oh, no, yeah, you were waiting to go to Cardiff the next day. Yeah. Oh, mate, my seven-hour train journey to Cardiff was glorious. Absolutely incredible. Was it? Just sat there. I just sat there, Rob, for seven hours.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Oh, yeah, but I got the train back from Doncaster yesterday, and there's two trains. It's weird. When the train back from Doncaster yesterday and there's two trucks it's weird when you come down from up north there's like two trains there's the LNER which is like you know quite a comfortable ride then it's weird like I can't remember the name of it some weird it feels like a train from the 60s some old dirty rattler and it's fucking horrible some old dirty rattler that That sounds like... It was. It was awful. You know, I'm not 100 years old, right?
Starting point is 00:13:08 Yeah. Obviously. Despite, you know, some of my anecdotes. But, like, do you remember? It wasn't even 10 years ago that we'd have those trains where you'd stick your hand out the window to open the door. Yes. Isn't that mental?
Starting point is 00:13:22 Yeah, you'd have to unlock the door from the outside in. Yeah. Absolutely incredible that that was happening. I would have taken that train, this one. It was creaking as it came up. And it was about four carriages and it was well busy. But anyway, sorry, I couldn't have done seven hours on that, though. But your one sounds all right.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Anyway, I've left my wallet in Edinburgh. Oh, no. It got found in the university shop, which is a low moment. What was you doing in there, trying to relive your past? I went in to buy a pen. But it's bad when your agent phones you up and says they've found your wallet in the university shop, because it feels like you've had some kind of weird...
Starting point is 00:13:56 And you go, no, I just went in to buy a pen and it sounds like you've kind of been hanging around with the students or something weird, which I wasn't doing, Rob. I went into a shop, I've been at the kids all week then i've been went away and did middlesbrough grimsby and i had this horrible migraine headache and i went into a shop and bought some nurofen and a capri sun and she went oh you got hangover i was like no it's just my life just just so how i feel now i've just got children and I need help.
Starting point is 00:14:28 So I've been living for a week without a wallet. Oh, what's that like? So Apple Pay? Apple Pay the whole way. I bet you're that person who's got a really old wallet and you keep it in the same pocket of the same jean and the jean pocket's all wearing down in the corners. No, I'm not that person, Rob.
Starting point is 00:14:42 You know my views on people having a lot of stuff in their pockets. Do you? I do not like a big fat jean pocket. I think it's a terrible look. Yeah, but I didn't know this about you. It's one of my strong views on fashion. Don't put too much in your pockets. Blokes, I mean, do you know what?
Starting point is 00:14:56 You see it bulging out and the worst is when a bloke's got a condom in there when he's single and it's actually misshapen because it's been in there for so long and not used, it's misshapen the wallet. Have you ever seen that? the little bump on the wallet when a condom's ever been used and it's been rammed in his pocket
Starting point is 00:15:12 a circular kind of bump around the wallet how's your week been? it's been, well yeah, first of all you know, oh the dog had his balls cut off he's been neutered oh intentionally, it wasn't just to catch them going through the door.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Yeah, it's just the first bit of gardening in the year that went wrong. So he's done that. So he went up there and I dropped him off. Just double check, though. Lou still hasn't claimed the pet insurance for the antibiotics a few weeks ago. So I know Lou listens to this. I'm just dropping that in there. It's a subconscious little nudge.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Because she's in charge of the animals and their insurance. Claiming the pet insurance is sixth on a to-do list forever. Claiming pet insurance. Absolutely. Just above taking your card back in to get a refund on a backpack that never arrived. But yeah, so that's still just to let you know. That will never get claimed back, Josh. Just letting you know that pet insurance.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Absolutely pointless. We're paying monthly for something we never use it's just i've got yeah we've got pet insurance as well yeah every time no because every time they're like i'm probably not for this one i wouldn't i wouldn't bother with this one because it's not a big enough claim that'll affect you know claims bonus and all that kind of stuff it sort of feels like you know you don't want to wish a big one to come up but you feel like you know you want to get your money's worth you want to get your money's worth. You want to get your money's worth off from Pet Plan. Come on, guys.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah, I want to give him a new titanium knee or something. Do the dogs have knees? Yeah. It's sort of like elbows, isn't it? It's more elbows on the legs. I think they have knees. Do they have knees? Dogs have elbows.
Starting point is 00:16:38 They start backwards elbows, isn't it? Do dogs have knees? No, obviously, I'm not wishing a bad injury on my dog, but I would like to feel like I'm getting my money's worth. Just an expensive kind of op. Yeah. He's absolutely fine. Do dogs have knees?
Starting point is 00:16:51 Dogs have knees, yeah. Two front legs have elbows, and the two hind legs have knees. Why is that funny? Does that not mean that the two front legs are arms? That's a good point. Dogs even have kneecaps on each knee, similar to humans. Anyway, let's not get bogged down by that. Yeah, so... Oh, yeah, school trip. That's what I need to talk about. Anyway, let's not get bogged down by that. Yeah, so...
Starting point is 00:17:05 Oh, yeah, school trip. That's what I need to talk about. Oh, here we go. You sent me a photo. Oh, God, it was horrific. Which, obviously, we can't put on our Instagram because it's full of children. You look like you're having a strange experience, Rob.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Yeah, no, it was intense. So I got to the school. I was a little bit nervous, actually, Josh. They gave me a high-vis jacket and a lanyard. Yeah, of course they did. And the kids were so excited they were screaming can I just ask a question yeah is this why you bought your backpack you fucking loser because of the school trip no no did you buy a little backpack for your school
Starting point is 00:17:35 trip no I didn't even take a bag actually I just had big pockets no I bought the bag because we're going away in the summer and ending we're going away in Easter actually and um and it's for the airport because the kids have so many things and what happens is i'll take a little backpack that's full and then by the time we're at the airport you need a proper backpack with support so you can just take your entire family's stuff it's what happens this is a question i need to ask you rob yeah go on because i'm a middle-aged man now rob yes as are you or we're we're careering towards it're 38 and 35 or whatever you are. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:07 I wear a backpack when I'm going out and about. Yeah. At what point is that going to have to change? And what can I change it to? What kind of rucksack? Put it this way, Rob. I bought it in New York. A little town called New York.
Starting point is 00:18:20 What's that mean? What's that? Mainly because I'd left my other one in a New York cab. But that's by the by. No, but is it like a fashion one or is it like a proper rucksack? What's that? Mainly because I'd left my other one in a New York cab. But that's by the bike. No, but is it like a fashion one or is it like a proper rucksack? It's sand fist, Rob. Sand fist. Oh, yeah, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:18:32 I know it. They're nice ones. They're quite hipster-y, very media-y. You'd wear them with jean turnips and yellow socks. Yeah, exactly, Rob. And they range from about 40 quid up to about 140 don't they i've got on here well i wouldn't know because i bought it in dollars but yeah um but you're so cool but i don't i was thinking the other day am i on a a countdown here can i see
Starting point is 00:18:57 the can i see the straps please sent you the picture yeah i need to see the straps and the back and the back padding please so this, I think you could wear that forever. It just looks like a nice backpack and it's khaki. It looks quite, I don't think that looks like mad. It's not like you've got a Supreme one. I'm not going to look like I'm a weirdo in my 40s with a backpack like a school child. No, I think it looks nice.
Starting point is 00:19:17 And what are the other options? It's khaki. It's not like got LeBou on studs on it. You're fine. However, that is absolutely not fit for purpose if you're going on holiday with children on an airplane or you're going anywhere like a theme park or you're out for the day or the zoo it's going to hurt your back you're going to get bad posture you need support you need a mountaineering bag i've got 150 that have been sensing me for
Starting point is 00:19:39 free if you want one i'm charging i'm joking so i'll i'm gonna. So I'll show you my little nerd backpack I bought, okay? So you're going to be a nerd, Rob. So has it got compartments for all the different things? Yes. So you've got snacks. You've got the change of clothes. Yeah, so first of all, you need two little pockets for the drinks. But basically, have a look at this backpack.
Starting point is 00:20:03 You got it, yeah? So this one. Oh, my God, you absolute nerd. Yes, it's full nerd. If you don't get wedgied on holiday, there's no justice in the world. So you've got two pockets of water. You'll need that for you and the kids.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Oh, my God. And then it's got support on the back. You're such a dweeb. Yeah, but, mate, my posture's going to be so good. The amount of stuff I'll be able to carry in that. You need leggings. You need jumpers. You need iPads.
Starting point is 00:20:24 You need snacks. It gets so heavy. Little iPadad and i'm going to use it afterwards just for work but yes it is you're going to use this for work yes because you know what josh where are you working at the end of a train platform writing down the numbers because you need good posture josh my body's getting old i want to look good i don't want to be some little crumpled old man with his sandquist bag. You don't want to look good, you just said. You want to look good. You're wearing that bag, mate.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I know, but I don't care. I'm comfortable. It's got bits of elastic around it to keep all the stuff inside. Yes, exactly. You can shove stuff in there. You can click little clips on it to hang stuff off. It's got so much support, Josh. Oh, my word word are you going walking
Starting point is 00:21:06 with ed burn like it's it is a nerd backpack but it's comfortable and you need that when you're if we go like we're going we're gonna go to disney we need like if you're going somewhere like disney or like alton towers today you need that you're gonna carry so much it'll hurt your back do you know what rob yeah take that off to get on a ride at Alton Towers. Yeah. And when you get back, it'll be left there, Rob, because it's the only bag no one's going to steal. That's the beauty of it.
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Starting point is 00:21:59 Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? With new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash, you can lather and glow. The 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin B3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich indulgent experience. Treat your senses with new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. Anyway, I didn't even take that backpack on the school trip. We got on the trip.
Starting point is 00:22:29 The screaming was absolutely... I'll be able to put this on our Instagram, but the screaming, I'll try and find some videos of the screaming. They were screaming and they were chanting Leeds Castle as well. It was quite intense. Chanting Leeds Castle? Oh, yeah, they absolutely loved it. I don't know what I'm shouting. it was quite intense chanting Leeds Castle oh yeah they absolutely loved it could you hear that
Starting point is 00:22:50 yeah Leeds Castle Leeds Castle so yeah so we go to Leeds Castle I have to dress we go in there it's like the workshop I get off the coach
Starting point is 00:22:57 and all the ladies from the education centre are going there's one she went oh and they sort of recognised me she went what are you doing here
Starting point is 00:23:03 I was like I'm with my kids on a school trip what do you think I'm doing what I just jumped on for a laugh this is my daughter's school what are you doing here could I ask some questions Rob about it yeah go on
Starting point is 00:23:15 question one early doors how do you establish your authority or did you make yourself the fun one I tried to make myself the fun one in a desperate need for you you know, respect and power. I was going, oh, look, it's so-and-so's dad. It's your dad.
Starting point is 00:23:30 And Rob, I know your name's Rob. You're Rob. And I went, it's Mr. Beckett to you or sir. So they kept on calling me Rob. And I was going, it's Mr. Beckett. And then that was a bit of fun. What was quite weird was they were absolutely desperate to hold my hand at all times and fighting over it. So I had to employ a sort of turn-based hand-holding policy.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Which you do with Lou, don't you, as well? Yeah, exactly. She's with her PT at the moment, holding hands. It's my turn for an hour later. She hasn't got a PT. And one of the girls just squeezed my finger really hard to the point of i think she was just trying to hurt me and i messaged i messaged um the dad's group and i said oh yeah
Starting point is 00:24:10 she was doing that i think she was trying to like do it to hurt me went yeah yeah she does do that i was like okay fair enough cool no problem and i was winding up all the dads i was like i cannot wait to find out whose kids the worst behaved i'll report back later um but no they were all really well behaved actually and. And it was good. Leeds Castle, I think it's really good to visit as a family. And if you have got a school group in the local area, I would recommend it. You go there and they do a drama workshop,
Starting point is 00:24:33 which the kids loved. We all got dressed up. Did you join in? Yes, I was dressed up as a knight. And they do a drama workshop. That was really good. And then after that, they have lunch. And then they take you for a tour around the castle and stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:48 But what's good about it is, like, we're going to back with as a family after because they've got a maze there and a train ride so take your dweeb bag take my dweeb bag and yeah it was really good so that they really they really enjoyed it i did i came home though and had a hangover level headache from the screaming oh god it was absolutely mental it was like being in take that but it was it was nice i was really a little bit i'd like being in Take That. But it was nice. It was a little bit hard being in Take That. But it was the singing and the screaming. And yeah, it was good, though. And she was so happy that I went and did it.
Starting point is 00:25:13 So I would massively recommend it. And how did you relate to your child? So is your child a pupil or your daughter in that situation? She straddles both quite well. She dealt with that well but it was like I got put in charge of like five kids
Starting point is 00:25:28 so I was like going like team Beckett and doing a huddle and making them cheer which they liked but then at one point my daughter pushed me away
Starting point is 00:25:36 and covered my mouth and face I think she got a bit bored of it towards the end I'm gonna say it I am braced for being
Starting point is 00:25:44 fully involved when my daughter gets to school I'm going for it I'm going to say it. I am braced for being fully involved when my daughter gets to school. I'm going for it. I'm going big style, Rob. Therefore, it's great because it's brilliant. You get to see them interacting and engaging with all the other kids. And also, you naturally chat more to their teachers and get a real insight into their behaviour and how they're getting on. You only get a little bit in parents' evening,
Starting point is 00:26:04 and they've got so many to get through and it's short and sharp. So when you are, you naturally do just talk about your children. I met the sort of the teaching assistant as well, which you wouldn't normally meet at parents'. And it made me feel a lot more comfortable sort of knowing what environment she's in and stuff like that. So I'd massively recommend it
Starting point is 00:26:18 if you get the chance to go on a school trip. I really enjoyed it, to be honest. And, you know, it was fun. Yeah, it was really good. Earwig and all their conversations and honest. And, you know, it was fun. I was, yeah, it was really good. Earwig and all their conversations and stuff. It's so funny.
Starting point is 00:26:28 They love eating, though. They're so hungry. Constant snacks. Where did you sit on the bus, Rob? I sat at the front, actually. Presumably with that bag, you weren't allowed at the back of the bus,
Starting point is 00:26:36 that's for sure. With the cool kids. Yeah, actually, they made me sit at the front with the teachers. But, you know, I was sitting at the front. There was a couple at the back.
Starting point is 00:26:44 There was a couple of kids that got a bit travel sick. And what was funny was one of the teachers was right at the front with the teachers um but you know i was sitting at the front there was a couple at the back there was a couple of kids that got a bit um travel sick and what was funny was one of the teachers was right at the front and they couldn't see the driver because the driver's low and the coach they was all going mrs driving the coach mrs driving the coach and they thought it was really funny because it looked like she was at the front as you because from the seats and then at one point she had to stand up to sort of go out with her seatbelt. And then they all went, there's no one driving the bus. There's no one driving the bus. And they went mental. Do you know, when I was at school, we had a teacher called Mr. Eddie.
Starting point is 00:27:14 And he loved driving buses so much that he quit being a teacher to become one of the school bus drivers. Is it? Yeah, he did do that. Isn't that weird? Well, not weird at all. But, like, isn't that a strange kind of turn in your life at the age of 60 to go my calling is i love driving the school bus yeah because you think you would yeah like if you yeah it's a weird you imagine if you were driving the school bus before you know what i'll give teaching a go but then to go you know
Starting point is 00:27:37 what i just i just like the commute i just like getting the best bit of school it's getting there and back i don't actually like the school day. But that was really good, though. That's going well. My relationship with my four-year-old, though, is not very good at the moment. She is fundamentally refusing to hug me or show me any affection whatsoever for two weeks now because I'm spiky like a hedgehog,
Starting point is 00:27:58 which was originally a joke, but now I'm actually feeling... It's horrible. She doesn't... I bet you're getting more needy and she knows she's got the power that's a difficult situation yes
Starting point is 00:28:07 very difficult because originally it was funny going oh you're spiky you're a hedgehog and we laughed but now I'm finding it hard
Starting point is 00:28:13 okay I've got a tip I've got a tip yeah I think you're coming on too strong now that's what will be happening here Rob you want that hug
Starting point is 00:28:21 and she knows you want that hug yeah big time I'm needy yeah have you heard of advance and retreat so if you advance she will retreat she knows you want that big time i'm needy yeah have you heard of advance and retreat so if you advance she will retreat but if you hold back she'll have to come to you rob okay this is good treat and mean keep them keen it's basically the way yes well that's that's what
Starting point is 00:28:35 that's what happened because also as well it's difficult because you don't want to say oh aren't daddy sad give me a hug because then that bleeds into you shouldn't have to give someone a hug just because they want a hug you know i mean like as they get older especially as a when you're a young woman and they grow up and a boy will go oh i'm sad give me a hug you shouldn't have to hug someone because they're sad whether they're your parent or not so i've sort of eased off on that and then so this small so i've been trying to do what you said and sort of not be too eager for it so on the school drop like i say i love holding a hand walking to school a little warm hand it's lovely and i think i'm struggling a little bit now because they're six and four.
Starting point is 00:29:06 They're not babies anymore. They're not toddlers. They're like proper little girls. And they're not even squeegee anymore. You're going to have to have another kid. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. You're going to have to have another kid.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Oh, with that backpack, no one's going to shag me. Ridiculous. The ultimate contraception. Everyone in March should wear one of those backpacks because they're the least sexy thing that's ever happened i'm backing on your undercarriage getting nowhere nearly um yeah so i was walking yeah walking to school and yeah because they're sort of just like tall and long and bony now and like proper like squirmy kids so we walked in and we got out the car this morning i held her hand because sort of i didn't ask i just sort of just held her hand
Starting point is 00:29:43 she obviously naturally held my hand and then i saw her like look and then she went can i have my bag and then she took her bag and went i'm not holding your hand anymore so i sort of ignored her because i thought if i ignore her and it doesn't become a thing then yeah but if i keep trying to do it because so i went i was like okay yeah no worries and she was a bit like oh i'm not getting what the reaction i want she said i'm not holding your hand i'm not on your hand i went yeah that's fine you don't have to and then and then she was obviously a bit like oh i'm not holding your hand. I'm not holding your hand. I went, yeah, that's fine. You don't have to. And then she was obviously a bit like, oh, I'm not getting a reaction here. So do you know what she said to me, Josh? She went, she looked at me, squirted in the eye and went, daddy.
Starting point is 00:30:11 I went, yeah. She went, I don't care about you. Oh, that is bad, isn't it? Oh, my God. Because there's a difference now. You don't have to hug someone if they want to hug. And it's okay to not care about someone or to dislike someone. That's life.
Starting point is 00:30:25 But it's not okay to tell them. Is it? Because I hate them people. It's not one of those sort of like horrible people on Love Island that go, do you know what I mean? I'm honest. I'll just say what I think. I'm like, yeah, but that's not really how life works.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Yeah, exactly. Is it? You know, you don't always say what you think. No. If everyone said what they thought, the world could implode. Because I've got to be truthful to myself. I can't, you know what I mean? Oh, shut up. Can't we all just to be truthful to myself i can't you know what i mean oh shut up so can't we all just not be truthful and honest about our feelings for one smile and
Starting point is 00:30:51 slag everyone off in private on whatsapp fuck me honest truthful integrity fuck off show us a pain in the ass integrity get rid of it fuck off just gossip bitch but in private go for a walk get an overpriced coffee and slag off everyone you ever known that's how life works exactly um so then i had to say something because i thought that's not nice because if she if she does that at school it's different now i'm not just going oh i want to hug hug me but i was like no you mustn't say that's not nice to say i don't care about you um you wouldn't like if i said that to you would you and she said no and then but she was going into preschool i sort of said that wasn't okay but i didn't really like go into her because it's a bit harsh and i didn't want to like have a row with her before she went in but i think as well we're too we expect too much of her
Starting point is 00:31:32 because she's four and she's got an older sister and she's quite chatty and confident for her age because she's trying to catch up with her sister all the time but like i would never expect that much from her that advances the second kid yeah i do but i think it does to a point but also then i think you get as a parent you get a bit lazy you just couple them in together and assume that she's as advanced and as developed as a six-year-old which she isn't because she's still learning she hasn't even gone to school yet properly she's only in like part-time preschool where you know and stuff and where they just sort of let them play because you know a four-year-old can be so they can be so different at that age.
Starting point is 00:32:05 So I was just saying, I'm just not going to ask for hugs anymore. Let her come to me. But if she says I don't care about you again, I will tell her off. Because you can't say that to people. That's not very nice, is it? No, you can't say that, no. But yeah, so that's going great. How about you?
Starting point is 00:32:17 Do your kids care about you? They do, I think. I mean, you know, not as much as I'd like them to. But there we go. It's been all right with the kids this week. World Book Day, obviously. Oh, yes. What did they go as?
Starting point is 00:32:29 She just went as Elsa because she wanted to. You know, I'm not impressed with that as a choice, but it's not my decision, Rob. Fair enough. But it's not even a book, is it? It's not even a book, is it? I don't care if there's spin-off books. You know, she's got a book that's got Elsa and Anna in, but that doesn't count, does it?
Starting point is 00:32:47 No. Because that's the book of the movie. It's not the same thing, Rob. No, I agree. However, if you're on a cheap outfit and you're in a rush getting them dressed, I've got no problems with it whatsoever. She's got an Elsa dress.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Let's just do it. Let's bash it out. We're all happy. Let's move on. Yeah, exactly. That's fine. And what about the baby? Did you dress him up or just fine no of course not couldn't give a shit have i showed you what uh mine went as no they went as we had um a frog on a dog on a log nice so one of
Starting point is 00:33:16 them had a big dog onesie i've just sent it to you um and we found like a little log teddy oh very good that we sewed a frog onto. Bloody hell, did Lou make that hat? Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? That's Millie's Marvelous Hat, that book. So it's about this girl who's got a mental hat. So we dressed her up as that. Oh, that is really good.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Yeah. That is great. Well done. It wasn't that. It was like she went to, got it from Hobbycraft, like a green top hat and bought loads of like stuff and found loads of stuff. You know them weird stuff in a drawer
Starting point is 00:33:47 where it's just like a little plastic toy, a little thing, like a feather. You know all the crap at the bottom of the drawer. She basically found all that and just glue gunned it to the hat. It looks good, doesn't it? Incredible. That is so good.
Starting point is 00:33:58 She's done a great job there, Rob. She has. I'll take the kids' faces out and I'll stick it on Instagram so you can see. Oh, can I talk to you about gymnastics? Yes. I'm actually interested in this because I know where it's going wrong because you've already,
Starting point is 00:34:09 okay. Already sounded off to me about it. And I'm going to brace myself. I was going to say, can I sit back and just, uh, I think, I think gymnastics is about to get the blacks,
Starting point is 00:34:18 the camping shop treatment. Is that fair? No, it's a question. Kids, sport clubs and activities, right? Yeah. It seems very expensive to me unnecessarily personally so basically it's a gymnastics right my kids go gymnastics on saturday
Starting point is 00:34:32 morning and it's really good they love it and stuff but it's like seven or eight quid a session for each of them for like 45 minutes okay which is fine but they also individually have to be a member of the gymnastics club which is oh it's my watch sorry sorry rob have you got a watch from the 80s what's going on it's a casio it's like a timex digital watch that beeps but i don't have to turn the alarm off so it goes off every day at 10 a.m which is really annoying oh god um anyway so you have to pay about 16 pound a year to be a member of the gymnastics club 16 pound a year to be a member of british gymnastics yeah right and then they pay the eight seven eight quid a session but also three times a year they get assessed as
Starting point is 00:35:12 part of the british gymnastics assessment level why which is seven quid so basically if you pass your assessment you they come out of a little bit of paper that says your daughter has passed this certificate that if you want the certificate and the medal is seven quid right um but if you don't you don't have to pay for it well you haven't got an option there they've got you over a barrel rob well exactly so that they you have to do that three times a year which is about seven quid to get their medal certificate but also alongside that the gymnastics club have their own level of assessment there's also a fiver so you get another bit of paper that says oh for five quid they've done this level you get a certificate and a medal right i think that's too much money i think that's too much assessment as well well yeah i just sort of
Starting point is 00:35:53 think if you're if you're part of the british gymnastics society you either you choose that one or you choose the gymnastic club one you don't need both it's double then it's an abs it's a racket and also as well kids can read so if you write that on a bit of paper and you come out Gymnastic club one. You don't need both. It's double then, isn't it? It's an absolute... It's a racket. And also as well, kids can read. So if you write that on a bit of paper and you come out, they know what's going on
Starting point is 00:36:10 and they think, oh, I'm going to get a medal now. But why don't they just email that to the parents? Because if you can't afford it, it's so unfair on families that can't... I've got like four brothers. We couldn't... My mum couldn't afford to send all to gymnastics
Starting point is 00:36:20 and do that. And I just think it's mad money, don't you? But is that normal? Is that happening in taekwondo, in football? It didn't happen in kiddie kicks. I and do that. And I just think it's mad money, don't you? But is that normal? Is that happening in taekwondo, in football? It didn't happen in kiddie kicks. I tell you that. We used to get a free medal at the end of term. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:30 And then she lost interest anyway. But it's mental, isn't it? That is intense, isn't it? And then we've also had a letter going, oh, there's a big gymnastics competition if your child wants to come. It's 28 quid or something to enter, six quid for spectators,
Starting point is 00:36:43 and you've got to buy an official leotard. That's a racket it's not run by the cray twins gymnastics just just reply uh they're not going to enter but can i have a spectator thing for six quid and see see how that goes down i'm just gonna i'm just gonna turn up without them yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna come alone as a spectator and do you have adult sizes for the leotards. I'd quite like to wear some of the merch whilst I'll watch on my own. Also, can I just add, Saturday morning, chill out. Yeah, I know. How many assessments are you doing in a year?
Starting point is 00:37:15 This isn't fucking Ofsted. What's going on? I know, so basically you're looking at 70 quid a year for memberships and assessments, plus the seven quid a week. It could be 500 quid a year. But if you want them to be the next Beth Twaddle, you've got to throw the money at her, Rob.
Starting point is 00:37:29 I don't. Also, and I mean no disrespect to your daughters, Rob, by now you'd know if they were going to be a top gymnast. Would I? Do you know what I mean? She's only four. Also, four? What are you assessing her for?
Starting point is 00:37:46 She'd be spinning around those bars at four if she was going to compete with the Soviets. Well, exactly. I'll report back because if they start doing like double backflips, it might be worth your money. But at the moment, all they do is clap their hands,
Starting point is 00:37:56 jump in the air and clap their hands again. Imagine saying to your daughters, you haven't got the potential as a gymnast for me to invest any more money in this. But also, look, that's how sport industries are funded, though. So that money will go back into, you know, people to create champions like Max Whitlock, I imagine.
Starting point is 00:38:11 So if that's what it is and all the money's going in, it's almost like you're supporting a sport as well as... Next time you see Max Whitlock win a gold medal, Rob, you can go. Yeah, well, I've messaged him about it, actually. I'm part of that. I'm part of that. We should get him on.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Have you messaged him? Yeah, I've met him, didn't I, with Rob and Rob? I said to him, I said, of that we should get him on have you messaged him yeah I met him didn't I with Robin Romage I said to him I said mate my kids have started gymnastics the buy a medal situation is a complete fucking racket and he just said
Starting point is 00:38:32 did he reply he went oh that's good haha what club are they going to and then I was just chatting to him about the club and I said
Starting point is 00:38:38 you've got to set up a club mate you'll be a billionaire in a year he went I know what you mean hope they're enjoying it he sort of parmed me off but fair enough he's busy now isn't he and he replied he replied he replied but we didn't go deep but if if you've got kids that
Starting point is 00:38:51 have done these courses and stuff for other sports let us know what you think that let you know or if you've had experiences what's the cost what's the cost of taekwondo what's the cost of diving what's the cost of equestrian well let's try and find the most expensive sport your kid can do whichever league table so if you are on a budget that month the question's got to be out there hasn't it you've got a question it's insane equipment you got a horse you gotta buy the horse then you gotta buy the food for the horse i think i think you you go in with a place if your kids if your kids are into equestrian, within two years, Rob, you're buying a fucking horse, mate. Well, I suppose football boots are 40 quid,
Starting point is 00:39:29 aren't they, for kids? Yeah. If you have football. It is expensive. But let us know, because maybe this is just what it's like and I'm new to it, but it just seems a bit much,
Starting point is 00:39:38 especially if you're on a budget. Did you do many of these things when you were a kid? I wasn't really a club kid. I played football every week and then I'd have played for a Sunday league team, but we used to play subs but it wasn't all that membership we didn't get assessed and all that kind of stuff i think i don't know i should ask my mom like we had like medals at the end of the year but i don't remember paying for one i certainly don't remember getting a bit of paper it was a bit more like that assessment world than football doesn't it
Starting point is 00:40:00 yeah i think do you know why it is rob what because they know you're going to play football anyway because it's great i think he says a return on football isn't it? Yeah. I think, do you know why it is, Rob? What? Because they know you're going to play football anyway, because it's great. I think he said it's a return on football, wasn't it? Do you know what? My mate I was talking to, did I tell you this? His kid's at an academy,
Starting point is 00:40:13 a football academy. Oh yeah. And he's like, the age where they can't officially sign them until the following year, so they find out this May whether he gets signed. Oh right. How old? And he was like,
Starting point is 00:40:21 seven. Jesus! Yeah. And he was like, I really hope he doesn't get signed because this is insane what we're doing. Yeah. We're already doing four nights a week. Plus, he has to play Saturday and Sunday for his club team.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Oh, Jesus. And it's just going to, it's just taking over his childhood and our life. And he's probably then not going to make it anyway. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That's the mad thing about it. It's hard like from seven something be so i have to be so dedicated to one thing you know i mean exactly oh god exactly i'm just such a relief i've got no sporting jeans to pass on well i i'm quite keen on i'm doing lots of different stuff all the time
Starting point is 00:40:58 and keep trying new things because i think that's what helps you grow as a person and then if you if stuff does go wrong it doesn't work out for you, you're comfortable trying new things. I think that's worked for me in my job. The amount of shows I've done that have been cancelled, Josh, it's unbelievable this is still going. They can't cancel us, Rob. We're still here. We can only cancel ourselves.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Exactly. Should we do a couple of emails and then a small business shout out, Josh? Yes, why not? I've got some good Instagrams on longest grudges. Oh, I love a long grudge. Hit me up with some long grudges. Love a long grudge. Okay, i've got some good instagrams on longest grudges oh i love a long grudge hit me up with some long grudges love a long grudge okay we got this one here hi guys in response to your question about the longest grudge held it reminded me of a match i watched in october 2003 and the decision i made of it it was england's 2004 qualifier versus turkey
Starting point is 00:41:38 it finished nil nil and it meant we qualify for the tournament but the match was when beckham slipped and ballooned a penalty over the bar. Alpay, the Turkish defender, ran over to goad him and continued this at halftime by poking Beckham in the face as they ran off. Immediately after seeing this live on the telly, I vowed never to visit Turkey ever in my life. And nearly 20 years later,
Starting point is 00:42:02 despite lots of recommendations from friends, I have and still never will. No. Including a friend's wedding. What? That's insane. That's insane. I added that bit in.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Can we add bits in to make it better? Yeah, yeah, why not? No, but he didn't say that, but I thought that would be good. I bet the Turkish tourist board are furious with Alpine for his actions and the possible one or two weeks of me spending in their country has cost them. It will teach them never to poke an English player lightly in the face.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Simon from Somerset. That's mad. Because I don't, with sporting grudges, like during the match, I think I'm never going to ever forgive this team for this. And then within a day, I'm totally over it. Totally over it. Well, these people aren't. I've got some great ones here.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Hi, Rob and Josh. On the subject of grudges, my dad is a Watford FC fan and our rivals are Luton. He has never and will never own a Vauxhall car as they used to make them in Luton. This has been for the last 50 years. He is now 67. Refusing to Vauxhall.
Starting point is 00:43:04 That is incredible. Well, do you know that I think like Rangers and Celtic used to, who hate each other, who are both Glasgow clubs, for our listeners, I know you're aware of that, Rob, they used to have the same sponsor because you couldn't sponsor one of them because you'd lose half of the Glasgow. Really? Yeah, it would sponsor both clubs because it was the only way that you could sponsor them
Starting point is 00:43:27 without losing a load of business as well as gaining it. Oh, wow, because they'd boycott it. Love a football grudge. It's like I genuinely, I won't use any product recommended on off menu. It's just unacceptable. You've not eaten out for years. Do you know what?
Starting point is 00:43:42 Whatever food they mentioned that week, I refused to eat it. I like that commitment to this podcast, Josh. This is a longstanding grudge against Sting from a trumpeter. Oh, yes, please. I've got a grudge that's more longstanding than my life. My uncle's a trumpeter, and in 1989, it was booked by Sting to go on his world tour,
Starting point is 00:43:59 then dropped at the last minute. It was the year before I was born, but the grudge must be in my blood, because to this day, despite my uncle having a very successful career as a professional trumpeter myself and my entire family turn over the radio at the merest hint of an englishman in new york and we tut and roll our eyes if he's ever mentioned on tv it's entirely out of proportion but it's been so long now it'll be impossible to gaily wail to a chorus of roxanne guilt free thanks for the sexiness.
Starting point is 00:44:25 This is the first relatable thing you've ever said, Rebecca. Oh, thank you, Rebecca. Yes. Thanks, Rebecca. We'll do one more grudge and then small business shout-out. This one's from Anonymous, but it's a good one. So when I was a baby, my mum took me to a mother and baby group. And as babies do, one of the little girls pushed me over and made me cry
Starting point is 00:44:42 and refused to say sorry. Her mum didn't push her on it and she never apologized and i was very upset living in a small town almost 30 years later my mum was informed that this girl has joined the law firm she works at so my mum works on a switchboard and the baby pusher is a solicitor any calls that come through for the girl are always put on a very long hold by my mum before she eventually passes them through incredible so at least three or four times a day the girl has to deal with impatient and annoyed clients they've just had to sit through several minutes of hold music oh that is great serves her right for not saying sorry that is a good one in here yeah that is a brilliant one that's a perfect one to end on oh one about you
Starting point is 00:45:24 here josh quickly oh yeah hi robin hi rob josh and michael absolutely love the podcast it's brought I'm not saying sorry. That is a good one, isn't it? Yeah, that is a brilliant one. That is a perfect one to end on. Oh, and one about you here, Josh, quickly. Oh, yeah. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Absolutely love the podcast. It has brought me joy and can honestly say it is the best form of contraception. I thought I'd message about an encounter my boyfriend's brother had the other week.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Whilst out for a walk, he was minding his own business when a little girl dressed as a princess came running around the corner laughing and ran past. Whilst watching this unfold and preparing to call for a parent and say who's got this child he turned to find the one and only mr widdicombe quickly hurrying after her guessing it was a hard day of parenting as much as he wanted to say hello there was always a time and a place and whilst chasing after your child we know it isn't the time or place that's georgie and george what did she say where it was? No, it didn't actually.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Somewhere in East London, I imagine. Well, there we go. Dressed as a princess World Book Day, probably. I've got a small business shout out here. Oh, we should say, Rob, our live date's all on sale.
Starting point is 00:46:14 We haven't really given that much of a push today at all. Oh, yes. Thanks for buying the tickets. Wembley, Nottingham, Cardiff, the O2 and Manchester Arena are all available on sale.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Next April. Next April it'll be. Not this April, next April. the O2 and Manchester Arena are all available on sale next April next April it'll be, not this April, next April, yeah so get yourself some tickets, get some tickets Hi Rob and Josh, I'm new to your podcast and my god does it speak to me, our daughter's house has been tense hasn't it? I hope so, I say it works Our daughter has only
Starting point is 00:46:40 just started sleeping through the night she turned six in October and now our son four has just started waking up again oh no you think you're getting away from it josh well do you know what i'll tell you on friday i've got a sleeping issue at the moment anyway i have a small business that would hugely benefit from a shout out it's a passion project it's in its infancy so i'd love more people to know about it as an anxiety sufferer i I opened an online store, Woodlands Bay. www.woodlands, with an S, bay.com, last year. It's a shop which sells items for the home that aid relaxation and calm.
Starting point is 00:47:16 The shop is characterised by the senses, so you can find items to see, hear, smell, taste and feel calming. A great help for any tense and stressed parents. We have lamps, cushions, jigsaws, chai, clocks and diffusers to name just a few items. Thank you so much. There we go. I've got this one here. Hi, Rob and Josh. Love the pod. Been missing it since the very start.
Starting point is 00:47:42 My wife and I have two-year-old son called Freddy. My small business is quite an unusual one. We are called Pedro's Pet Poo Services. We clean people's gardens of all the dog poo and sanitise the garden to keep a safe and healthy environment for their pets. It's not just for lazy people, but they will accommodate them. We have lots of clients that are disabled, pregnant or elderly and can't manage to scoop that poop.
Starting point is 00:48:07 We are based in Middlesbrough in the North East and cover our local area. People can get in touch with us on Facebook at Pedro Pet Poo. Pedro is the name of our family dog and our little boy's best friend. It's great being out and about helping people with their beloved pets. We love the jobs you hate. Thanks from Alex. There you go.
Starting point is 00:48:24 That's good. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose, yeah, if you are a bit older, it's a long way down for a big scoop of shit. And if you're not steady on your feet, you don't want to be doing that, do you? If you can't handle it. Exactly. You don't want to go face first and a turd, do you?
Starting point is 00:48:36 That is the last thing. And it does ruin your lawn. So if they can sort the lawn out after, that's good, isn't it? So yeah, Pedro's Pet Poo Services in Middlesbrough. There we go. See you on Tuesday, Josh. I should say, Rob, I should say, if you've got a load of kids' stuff and your kids have grown up, obviously the current situation in Ukraine is horrible.
Starting point is 00:48:54 There are charities that are looking for kids' clothes and other kids' stuff for all the people displaced from the Ukrainian war. So that is a good thing to do. If you've got other stuff, I will, do you know what? One of my friends has just become a parent and I said,
Starting point is 00:49:11 I got loads of stuff for them and now they've got to make that decision. Do they want that stuff? Or are you going to take it out of your Ukraine donation pile? So that's up to them. Do you want the stuff to be taken out of my Ukraine donation pile? Also, if you want to, if you want to help,
Starting point is 00:49:24 um, that there's, on Cameo, Ed Gam gamble's on cameo and he's um taking messages so you can pay about 45 pounds or 45 dollars for ed gamble to do a message and all the proceeds will go to the ukrainian people and the people suffering over there so you can maybe ask him to do a message picking up the parenting podcast that might be quite a fun yeah that'd be good do that i've done one and he's living i didn't get to see that because i didn't have the internet what was his reply he silently put his middle finger up to me so i reviewed it as one star saying he didn't even speak and that and then he sent me a message going you fucker you've brought
Starting point is 00:49:58 my review average down oh god rob and i said well you didn't speak so then he said another one telling me to fuck off but all the money's going to a good cause so i've got two out of him in the end but yeah i can't delete the review it won't let me change the review so if you look at his reviews they're all like five stars thanks ed brilliant well done great calls you're a good guy and then one rob one star that says he didn't even speak oh Oh, God. Well, do, you know, I think we've rebalanced that because now we've given it a plug. Yeah, go and cameo and book Ed Gamble to raise some money for the Ukraine.
Starting point is 00:50:34 All right. It's been an absolute pleasure. See you Friday.

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