Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP14: Tom Davis

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

S04 EP14: Tom Davis Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the actor and comedian - Tom Davis. And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce even more Parenting Hell Live shows!! On top two the already announced Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April 2023) and London 02 (Friday 21st April 2023) - tickets are now on general sale but going fast!! We're also doing the following shows;19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 23rd April 20223 - Wembley Tickets are available to the general public today (Friday 4th March) at 10amTo sign up to the mailing list if you haven't already just cut and paste this into your browser:parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Sally, can you say Josh Whittacombe? Josh Whittacombe. And Bob Beckett. Bob Beckett. We'll take it.

We'll take it. We'll take it. That'll do. Wow. It sounds like a big media buy. We'll take it. You're going to like this. Oh, you're really on that mic.

It sounds so sexy. Go on, Josh, give it to me. Sorry. You sound sexy. Don't apologise. Great work on the show. Myself and wife are crazy big fans. It was suggested that there were not many northerners listening.

So here is proof of me and my son. And his son is called Sammy Digweed. Sammy Digweed? Sammy Digweed. His son's called Sammy Digweed. You can't? Sammy Digweed. His son's called Sammy. You can't laugh at a kid's name. It's the Sammy's fine. It's the Digweed's the problem.

Yeah, but I think he's aware of it because he wouldn't have put... Not many Northerners are listening, so here's proof of me and my son, Sammy Digweed, practising your names last July when he was two. Sammy Digweed. We have lots of Northerners listening. We just don't have many Northerners

submitting their small businesses. Yes, right. Oh, yes, of course. But we had someone from Middlesbrough that collects dog shit last week. So, look, we're changing our ways. That's Ben Digweed, and they live in Stockport,

which is just a couple of miles from where I'm sitting as we record this, Rob. Oh, yes. Something weird happened when you were in the toilet before we recorded this. I thought I saw someone walk past my window. I'm on the fourth floor, Rob. Was it Peter Crouch? I was so sure of it.

I asked Michael whether we were recording Zoom so that I could look at it again. There's no way. There's no way. I was sure I saw someone walk past my window. To the point where I looked out the window To see if they were scaffolding So what was it? I don't know

Ghost So he didn't record it? No he didn't record it So we'll never know So full floor So how high is that? 50 feet? Yeah there's no way

Look Does anyone know anyone who's 50 foot tall? In the Manchester area I saw a bit of your bum then when you leant over Did you? Yeah The bottom of your back You know when the shirt's got a bit small from the wash Yeah And it's just sort of It's fine But when you bend over You just see a bit of your bum then when you leant over. Did you? Yeah. It was like the bottom of your back. You know when the shirt's got a bit small from the wash?

Yeah. And it's just sort of, it's fine, but when you bend over, you just see a bit of... You might say it's the wash rubber. Have I been pushing so much that my shoulders have got big? You've got massive rock hard pecs and shoulders. Yeah, exactly. You look like Eddie Hall. It's like little crop tops from the 90s now.

But have you been all right? What's your sleep situation? Yeah, I've got a sleep thing to talk about. Go on. So a few nights ago, my daughter woke up having a nightmare at 2am. We got her, she slept in our bed then. And I'll be honest, I liked it, Rob. You know, it's a classic thing we talk about.

All these, don't let them do that because then they'll keep doing it. And you're like, yeah, but they're going to be older someday. So I don't mind. I like having the three in the bed. It's nice. Well, we go into their bed. I quite like getting into the bed with them if they're a bit upset or unwell or stuff.

Oh, she's got a shit mattress. So I don't get in. Oh, really? We got her a bad mattress originally and she doesn't realise. Our mattress is so good. We bought a brand new mattress and it's amazing. We didn't realise how bad our old mattress was.

We had it about eight, ten years and it's so nice. But when I get on the air bed, I'm like, this is literally the cheapest mattress we could find. I feel like, is this bad? Should I be getting my kid a better mattress? She doesn't know. She doesn't realise that she could be sleeping on a good mattress. But then I think, would they sleep more if they had a better mattress?

Oh, interesting. Interesting, yeah. Because our four-year-old kept on waking up in the night but it's because she has loads of lights on when she goes to bed she has the main light off but then three lamps on it's really bright in her room so what i've been doing is when she's asleep about midnight when i go to bed i've been turning off one of the lamps but i think she's been waking up scared so since we left the lamps on she's been sleeping through a bit more so we were like when we turn it off so she gets used to sleeping in the dark. I'm like, well, she'll get used to that eventually.

Yeah. Don't rush it. So she got into the bedroom and it was nice. And then the next night, the same thing happened again. And I went, oh, fuck. This is a worry. What do you do in that situation? Because you let her in the night before.

You can't suddenly go, there's a new rule in town, can you? So what reason was let her in the night before you can't suddenly go there's a new rule in town can you so what what reason was she allowed in the night before nightmare both nights rose said do you think she's been picking up on what's going on in uh the ukraine i was like of course she hasn't she's four well from six music news between the when we've got the radio on like she's like also what are you to do about that even if she is? Yeah. Oh, that's it. I'm going to Kiev. My kid's not sleeping.

I'm going in. Let's get this sorted. Josh Riddickham turns up. He's borrowed my backpack. But yeah, no, I do. I sort of turn the news down and off a little bit because it is bleak at the moment with the news. But I don't know if that's really having an effect

because for them it's so... They don't really understand the wider geopolitical landscape and the impact it'll have. No, exactly. I'm glad of that. She's not aware of the breakdown of the Soviet Union and what it led to in the late 80s. Exactly.

Because I think that... Am I more anxious now about all this bad news because it's really bad news or were things like this happening when we were younger in like you know Iraq and then like the cold war stuff or you know the other they always seem you know there was like wars in Bosnia and Croatia and there was lots of stuff happening I know this is really bad but like or is it just now because I've got kids and I've got responsibilities and I'm older and I'm more aware of it what You know, when I was 20, I wouldn't give a shit about anything.

I think we got lucky that there was nothing that was as affecting as this. Like my sister, who's older than me, I remember her saying that she used to genuinely go to sleep in the 80s worrying about being blown up by a nuclear bomb. Oh, really? Yeah. So if you were a kid in the 80s... In Dartmoor? In Cornwall, which isn't a target. I don't think it'd be the first point of attack.

No, but Plymouth's a naval base, isn't it? So Plymouth might be one of the main targets. Plymouth was bombed to fuck during the war. Oh, was it? Yeah, it's one of those cities that was totally flattened during the war. It's a city? You are. You're basically a racist.

That's what you are. You're basically... Rob. It's a city. You are. You're basically a racist. That's what you are. You're basically... Rob, it's the biggest city in the world to never have had... Oh, no, in Europe. Biggest city in Europe to have never had a top division football team. Is it a city, though? Definitely. Yeah, a quarter of a million big ones.

People. A quarter of a million people. Really? Yeah. You'd be getting 90,000 in Wembley for a Tyson Fury fight. Yeah, that's more or less a city. A quarter of a million, mate. A quarter of a million.

Plymouth is a city. Sure. Yeah. If you're saying that, I believe you. So is Exeter. Is it? Yeah. Exeter City is the name of the football club.

It just all looks a bit too chilled down there to be a city. Isn't it? Where did you think the last city was? Bristol? These are sort of towns from Bristol onwards, isn't it? But there's no sort of office buildings. It's just sort of like... Do you know there's no motorway beyond Exeter? There's the A38, which is the main road through Devon and Cornwall.

Yeah, but Exeter doesn't look like a city. It just looks like a few hours... It's got a cathedral. I know, but no-one's doing the stock exchange in there, are they? Stock exchange? I imagine there should be an office block in a city. There is an office block in Exeter. Is there?

People who work in offices. I don't think so. Plymouth. That can't be a city. No offence, Plymouth. Jesus. Shall we bring on our guest, Rob? I think we've run out of steam.

Okay. Which is, ironically, how Plymouth is powered. I won't sell a ticket in Plymouth again, will I? Oh, the old pavilions. The old faithful Plymouth pavilions. Yeah, they're probably too busy doing deals. They were all wearing office suits and had a Bluetooth scene when I did Plymouth last time, getting some deals done.

This is an amazing episode, by the way. This is Tom Davis, very funny man, brilliant in the new thing, The Curse, their new show. He's won BAFTAs, isn't he? Does a great podcast with Romesh Ranganathan. Old Romesh. And also, more interestingly for this podcast,

Tom's had a baby recently, but with a surrogate, which we talk about. Really funny episode and also really interesting. And Tom is an absolutely top bloke. Lovely man. Enjoy the episode. Hello, Tom Davis. There's the intro.

Straight in. I was going to do it bigger, but it's fine. Oh, you go big, Rob. You go big. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tom Davis. There's the intro. Straight in. I was going to do it bigger, but it's fine. Oh, you go big, Rob. You go big. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tom Davis. Thank you very much for joining us. It's too much and it's too official. You know what?

When you said it was going to go big, I thought, oh, wow, this is going to be one of those. All right, OK. Let me do this right. You might know him from King Gary. King Gary. BAFTA winner. BAFTA winner.

Murder in Successville. But now now his greatest role of all father is Tom Davis yeah also as well he's done the thing

we all want to do sold a show to America didn't you murdering successful yeah you say sold it was sold but yeah

it wasn't it wasn't life changing okay they're not like the office then it's not like the office no no no. It's quite a long while. I'm still living on a new development

with everyone else's bins in my garden at the moment. Rob, I mean, Last Leg America, are you not aware of that? That's a huge hit. Is it? No, of course not. Anyway, it's not about TV, this. It's about you, Tom.

You've got a baby. Can you talk us through? One child you've got, haven't you? One little baby. Yeah, yeah, a little daughter. Yeah, so she's 10 weeks. 10 weeks old. 10 weeks?

Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, it's been a long journey to get here, actually, because we went through a surrogate. Oh, did you? I didn't know this. Josh mentioned that last week. I didn't realise that you went through a surrogate. I got an abridged version when I saw you,

and I thought, this is an incredible story so yeah like we've been we've been trying for about seven years off and on like and nothing really happening and that's sort of in itself quite you know for any anyone struggling it's quite a thing that in it when you yeah for a while and um and then my missus went for some like checks and had some bits done. And one of the things they do is they put dye through your fallopian tubes. Yeah. Some of the dye got basically stuck in a blockage and like, she got just really, really ill. It went toxic. Oh really?

Oh no. So she was then, this is a real great way to start. I'm glad we did all the bit at the top. I'll talk about another cancelled show in a minute he's quite a morose chaff old Tom Davis isn't he that was actually the reviews of the last leg New Zealand

and yeah so she basically yeah she got pretty ill with it sort of she was in hospital over Christmas for about two weeks when was this a couple a couple of years ago two years two years ago from like christmas just gone and we got told at that point we wouldn't be able to like she would be able to conceive we couldn't have kids oh my i'm so sorry because of that because yeah yeah that was sort of the final final now so so from there though um

one of the nurses that while she was in hospital, we just got on really well with her here at Offwith. And she reached out like about three or four months after that and said, look, I've always thought of being a surrogate. And I don't know if you guys would be up for it. I don't know if it'd be something you'd be into or would you want to try and sort of go on that journey. Isn't that incredible? We ummed and ahed and in the end we sort of like, yeah,

we sort of got to know her quite a lot and her and her family and and we started so christmas a year ago we started on the journey on christmas day she started like go kathy went for ivf and we you know did the embryos and yeah the surrogate went on the same thing and uh yeah like so grace was born on the 14th of december this year so it's like every christmas like a milestone milestone but it was an incredible journey from not ever thinking you're going to have yeah and it's all we really

from you know we're both quite family orientated and all we really wanted was kids so we're looking at adoption we're looking at stuff like that but yeah it's like

a miracle thing of like you know without you sort of look at her and you think Christ the sort of you know that sort of thing

of like it takes a village to raise a child it's like the amount of different levels of like you know from NHS who are incredible the sort of, you know, that sort of thing of like it takes a village to raise a child. It's like the amount of different levels of like, you know, from NHS who are incredible to sort of, you know, the surrogate. That nurse, so she just kind of met you. We got on really well and she heard my wife hear it off

and she reached out and she's just like, you know, like, you know, so this is all, this basically happened and then you sort of go into the pandemic. So like you both, you know know i'm used to being out working and all of a sudden you've you've this news that hits you you're festering that news and and you can't go out you can't see anyone so that's when you found out basically about the blockage in the sloping tubes just before the pandemic yeah so you're dealing with a lot of god a lot of stuff and you can't just go out your mates for a pint or whatever. But actually weirdly

it really meant me and Catherine just dealt with it ourselves. And it is a journey. It's like the thing that I sort of I think has

went through such a process and also just going through that surrogacy is I listened to one of these with H from Steps. It's such a like it's kind of

a primitive thing in this country still. It's kind of like even when Grace was born and we're giving Grace, but then you're like, oh, actually, I don't know if we can leave the hospital until this has happened and that's happened, and you're like, what the fuck? What, like legal stuff?

Yeah, man. You're calling your lawyer on one of the most important days of your life. It's kind of like insane. You're like, it feels like it's sort of like something from EastEnders. So, what, she kind of needs to be signed over to you, like a house. Yeah, like a house.

Like a second-hand car. Well, that was in the car game. It was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. A moving van outside the hospital. We're just waiting for the keys. Have you got a tax book for this? Yeah. You've got the MOT, Riggs.

Yeah. We just need a Corgi registered gas fitter to sign off on the keys. Have you got a tax book for this? Yeah. You got the MOT, Riggs? Yeah. We just need a Corgi registered gas fitter to sign off on the boiler. What's going on here? Yeah, so we met this woman about two years ago and she's just had her child

but she's your child though, yeah? Yeah. That's your spunk and your missus egg. Yeah, yeah, cool. Fine with me. Thanks, Gal.

Cheers, Gary. Just her belly, yeah? Just her belly, yeah. So we just used her to cook her in? That's fine, mate. What a credit to humanity. See you later then, mate. What a lovely story her to cook her in? That's fine, mate. What a credit to humanity. See you later, mate.

What a lovely story. Sign here, 900 quid. Cheers, mate. So it's your sperm and her egg put together in like a lab and then implanted. Yeah, you do an embryo and then from there, yeah, it's implanted. So every step of it's like, is this going to work? Is that going to work? The air of tension is just like yeah another level of and then and then you know and then throughout the whole pregnancy you're like obviously it the the hit of like it's a weird

thing talking to mates who've got kids i think when your your wife is pregnant you get used to the lack of sleep right because someone in the house is carrying a baby whereas me and katherine were like everyone kept on saying store up your sleep like we're camels in the desert yeah and you're like you can't store it up if you're already at it no you can't store up fucking it's not like you know your body goes oh fuck yeah yeah we can't sleep january to fucking august december whatever but remember we had all that sleep for two months yeah well yeah as well I suppose well because you know

like yeah with Lou she was so like knackered from carrying the baby like you see it was Lou like restless sleeping and stuff like that but it must be like

twiddling your thumbs a little bit just like oh god it must have been so hard waiting how often are you checking in with like

weekly yeah we still like she's sort of become a part yeah that's the other thing you've got to make sure I think is like how

you don't want it to be a business transaction you want to make sure that when it comes to the day you've got to explain because you have to you have to talk about how she she came to be here and i think you don't you don't want to be the people go oh yeah we gave someone some money and you want to make sure that's just like you know so you know surrogate is just she's amazing man a family a friend you know they're people that like if i'm honest with you i just find it just that level of humanity like like in the world at the moment where yeah the world we live in and you obviously it's our job as comedians we're constantly taking them you know we take the mic out of stuff and you have a joke about stuff but then when you look at someone who's just gone and done something like that for nothing really yeah it's an incredible thing and

and you just sort of and and like you know know, it's given us the one thing. And even like her other half, I look at him and think, like, he's gone through this as well. You know, he's gone through this. Fuck, yeah. At what point do you think he went, just to double check, I'm really for this, but they're going to implant the sperm in the egg, aren't they?

Big Tom's not getting involved, is he? We're coming round with a fucking Domino's and some roses. I like murder and successful but not that much. I like the fellow, he knows his improv but I'm not sure about his. Yeah,

because that's the thing, the way H did it is in America it's more like a business transaction where you go on an app kind of thing and you pay money

and like the contract signed beforehand and then as soon as the baby's born you can just boot off. Over here it's slightly different and stuff. But even if it isn't a business transaction they still need to be supported if they're pregnant and stuff they need you know like the stuff to go with it like

pregnancy pillows or some you know any stuff they need to help along the way and checkups and get into the hospital and stuff you know so it's like also it's the stuff after as well rob you know it's the stuff that's actually the stuff where you realize that you've really got to be there and you've got to really make sure that as as a couple me and katherine made sure that you know it's the stuff that's actually the stuff where you realize that you've really got to be there and you've got to really make sure that as as a couple me and katherine made sure that you know we were there with her and we talked to her and you know and made sure that anything that she needed or anything that she wanted for her and her family was always there you know it was always like you know whether because you know postnatal depression or anything and you know it's such a big thing and you just want to make sure that her and her family are as

sort of looked after as possible so you know that's what i mean in a sense you sort of you know you've gained gained sort of your family but also gained people you think christ like you've you've given up a year essentially of your life to do something amazing for me and me and my wife and now my daughter and it's yeah man it's me naturally as a person anyway i don't think i'd have ever been able to just like sort of done that and then never seen her again or sort of just walked away. Yeah, it's weird because it's a part of your life. You know, it's like a friend of the family.

It's almost become a full family of like, a special sort of like auntie almost kind of thing. And it's an important thing because I've, I've sort of weirdly took the piss out of people. You know when they go like, oh, he's your uncle, so and so. He's not really your uncle. And it becomes a sort of stable joke.

And all of a sudden, I find myself doing it to everyone who comes in our house. Like, all my British friends are like, this is your auntie so-and-so, this is your uncle whatever. This is daddy's colleague, Romesh. I didn't ask this with H, because I'm not as familiar with H. But could you take us through, because we had a lot of chat with this,

the providing the sample, Tom. What was that experience like? So the first part of it was like, you can now do it, basically if you live within an hour of the place, you can do it at home and then whiz it to the place. Yeah, yeah, okay. So the first time when I was doing my sample,

to see what it was, I had to do it at home and I just got stage fright like it was genuinely my missus had to go through like

the women in this process have to go through the most awful things they have to really did you make her help no she just had to go at me she literally

I came in and went I don't think I can do it and she went you've done it in this house before what's the problem it's like the pressure my guys are feeling pressured so in the end

she was like we'll go to the clinic and get it done and she didn't do it at home no I didn't also because I was really worried about not getting in I was like

what if there's traffic and you're sitting there with a fucking little a little fucking scepter of your own spunk and you're like trying to keep it warm in your hands just to run it in

and go how long did you dispose of it and it's all so clerical right there so it's like how long was this withdrawn how much was the you don't want to be there too early like three minutes ago all sweating

red face you were doing heroin yeah just like two minutes ago is that quick enough I did it in the car in a car park a lot of people do so in the end

I just yeah you do it in the room which is like so what's the room like it's a grey it's a pretty soulless room it's like all the old

sort of joke about like the old sort of I think there is naff porno mags in drawers but the thing they're pretty clear about is there's a wifi

there's decent wifi that's what a woman said to me there's decent wifi the woman looked at me she went there's pretty clear about is there's a wifi there's decent wifi that's what a woman said to me there's decent wifi the woman looked at me and she went there's good wifi in there there's good wifi in there

oh god I'm going to sort my emails actually while I'm in there well so I can Instagram like this yeah it must be weird though working on that reception desk and just

seeing men every day just pre-wank also you've got the thing of like because everyone knows when you're a man sitting in the waiting room

while you're there so every bloke you're looking at you're sort of like just a little nod over like yeah were you worried about two things

the amount of time you were in there did you get in your head at all about like no I was I think the first thing is like how you settle in

like where you are you going to lay down because there's a bed there she was like the bed's all been cleaned it was like okay i'm not i'm not like i am not laying down no are you did you lie down no of course i didn't massive legs hanging off the edge he's laying down oh where's tom he? He's catching up on his sleep. He's getting that sleep story. Imagine if you fell asleep. I'm storing up, mate. I'm storing up.

Just lying there all limp. Are you finished then? No, yeah, no. I stood up for it. Yeah. And then you're sort of, yeah, you're walking around for a bit with, you know,

she said leave it in there, but I got really panicky that if I left it in there, someone would forget about it. Yeah. Don't leave it in there. No. You don't want to mix up as well.

That's the absolute nightmare. Yeah. That would be the worst one. But also you have a thing where when we were going through all this, right. And then you get the call and they're like, you know, the phone call comes through and they're like,

Oh, you know, your semen's strong. You've got a strong semen. I sort of thought there was a bit of a sort of masculine pride that sort of comes out. But also you sort of feel like, cause I think there's such a,

and I've got friends who've been on the other side of that, but I think there's such a stigma attached. You know, because once you get married, everyone turns around and says, oh, you're going to have kids, you're going to have kids. Yeah. We've been married for long enough that everyone was constantly asking.

I just presume you're too much of a fucking legend. You didn't want to, you know, lose your party life, Tom. That went a long time ago, Josh. That went with the ring. It's only football tournaments now that I can get out. But I was like there. I was like, at first you have this sort of masculinity of like,

oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm pretty fucking strong. I've got a very strong seed. And then you realise what an absolute fucking prick. Look at the size of you, mate. Yeah, but you've got two kids you're tiny maybe my sperms are too big well that's the thing you're getting so good like you went oh i feel like a good about myself because of you know the strong sperm but then i they've got no control over that the same way as you shouldn't care if it's not strong sperm like it's like it's not like you've

done it you know i know certain lifestyle choices can affect it but fundamentally it's normally a chemical thing inside so it's a bit like you know something like your mental health you can't really control it you're just a sort of you're just a passenger in it yeah it's not i can't really turn around and go oh fucking thank god i ate all that cucumber it must be a thing though there's a lot of pressure on that you know the is it called a specimen deposit what you call it but pot of spunk but there's a lot of pressure on it because you're like are you leading up to it go okay next week i'm going to do it you're like right i'm not gonna drink i'm gonna be healthy do some exercise because you don't want it to be like when you've had a bad week the first time becca actually

weirdly because we went twice to the to the place and I did two samples. The first time I did the samples, I had been out, like, a night or two before and I had a right drink and it was sort of, I was so hungover and sort of, in my head,

I was like, even if these are sperms at work, do I want my child born from, like, really drunk, old, sort of, like, lazy old semen? Yeah, the gross jizz. Yeah.

I was like, are you going? for like lazy old SEMA yeah the gross jizz going to Spain going to Spain when she's older and just telling me no wonder you like it I cut the salmon kills the day before funny story actually but yeah man

it's a it's a hell of a thing it's like yeah it's the one thing that it's but it's the one thing you've got to do as a man right you've got to do one sample yeah and then they've got both the surrogate and my wife are like injecting them they've got to inject yourself you've got to go for IVF you've got to go through these really like tough things that's what I think that's the bit where I really felt like oh fucking hell like like that's where you're like a bit of a passenger and you're like oh shit like these two women are doing all of this so we can have this child and and like so at times you know at times of going oh god the indignity of having to wank in a in a room like loads of people looking at me and they shouldn't

do it in the waiting room whatever floats your boat though tom if that's what you need to do that's what you need to do But you know exactly What the ladies have to go for Is unbelievable Compared to just a bit of Wanking in a pot Were you at the birth? Yeah

I was at the birth Yeah yeah But I was I took a sort of Backseat I wasn't You can't be front and centre You're the business end

Go on Alright just met you Trying to look her in the eye Afterwards No it was No I was there Do you feel like a weird Kind of spare part In that situation Yeah yeah I think I don't know I bet, yeah. Yeah, trying to look her in the eye afterwards. No, it was, no, I was there and... Do you feel like a weird kind of spare part in that situation?

Yeah, yeah, I think, I don't know what, like I say, this is the only way I've ever been through it, but I guess all men feel like... I felt like that and it was, you know, we didn't have a surrogate and I still felt sort of like a spare part kind of thing, but, you know, it's the midwives are amazing, so it's just like...

Midwives are incredible and I think, like, yeah, I can't speak highly enough of the NHS and the midwives and how they took into consideration everything on board, like from the situation we're in with the surrogate, but also obviously with what the three of us do for a living, there's an element of like people sort of prying in and making sure we had privacy

and making sure that we felt like comfortable in sure that we felt comfortable in that scenario. Because some people may choose not to make it public that they went for a surrogate, which is their choice and stuff. But I think if you've got to be honest with your daughter early on, then I think it's a good thing to talk about. But also I think it's important. This podcast is amazing. I think it's good because what you two talk about

as two lads I've known for a long time. And I think it, you know, it's because I, you know, I think there's so many different levels of being a dad that we'll get onto. But also I think when it comes to sort of like the struggle that we went through to actually have a child was,

was like, you know, it's the one thing that I sort of, I'm really conscious of. Like, I think when, whenever we go to parties with friends who had kids and whatever, like there was always a bit of heartbreak there.

I'd find that really hard at times. And whenever a family member or friend would get pregnant and we'd been trying for so long, it'd be really difficult because you're really happy for other people, but you're like, why is this not happening for us? So now that we're in that situation and we're there, I feel like there's always a thing where I'm a little bit conscious of not being like shatting it from the the roof but also being honest about the process to

get where we've got i think it's really i think it's really important to talk about it and i think you should be really proud of yourself for doing it because lots of people listening will be going through similar things and to hear about you know the process and stuff like that i think it really helps people and not a lot of people do because it is something that you don't really understand it do you know what i mean no no yeah that's what we found when we were first doing it like even family members you know you talk about and people would be a little bit like i think people have read horror stories like in those cruddy old magazines that you see in dentists you know about people running off or whatever and but actually once you sort of describe it and you

know and sort of go through and also it's like man it's an incredible thing that you know we offer that in this country we offer that to people like it was all in the nhs no we we we we were private for one reason or another which and for the actual surrogacy because you know if i'm honest with you i didn't face that with the nhs you've got of like you've got to pass certain fitness tests so if i was looking for a new club, I wouldn't have found it. You'd have found the medical. I would have, genuinely.

That was one of the most indignifying parts of the whole thing. I've never ever talked about this since. We were going through the surrogacy thing and before they even take the semen check with the NHS, they're like, look, if you're going to go down with us

we need to sort of yeah we kind of need to make sure it works which is fair enough you know they're going to put a lot of money into you and yeah

the woman was like yeah you're obese and like oh god that's the last thing you need isn't it yeah she was like this is a tough

on our process as it is mate I know you're going but what's wrong about insults I've got a strong seat it doesn't really matter because we don't know if you're gonna fucking live it out but then that's that's another weird thing that i found as soon as like i knew i was gonna be a father i sort of started being a bit more healthy with my life choices yeah just on a basis of like

and also that woman's voice echoed in my ear. She was like, you know, I was 22 stone and she was just like, that's, yeah, you're, you should be about 19.

And like, you're six for eight though as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's only so long you can use that excuse. And I'd say you don't look big. No, no.

It's all in proportion. Because if people aren't aware of you, they must think, fucking hell, he's a big guy. He's already fat, mate. 22 stone, five foot six. But you are six for eight. So it's spread over. He's defeated in proportion because if people aren't aware of you they must think fucking hell he's a big geek he's already fucked mate he's 22 stone

5 foot 6 but he lasts 6 foot 8 so he's spread over he's defeated in that wanking room it's unbelievable he just opened the door and put his knob in it

that was it squeezed me into it and pulled me back out what makes you feel better when I did my I was a bit heavier at the time when I did my life insurance

because you sort of need life insurance and that when you have kids and buy a home and stuff and they did it okay it'll be that much and oh yeah so I've just didn't get you sort of need life insurance and that when you have kids and buy a home and stuff. And they did it. Okay, it'll be that much. I went, oh yeah, sorry,

I just didn't get your height and weight. I gave him that and he went, did an intake of breath like a mechanic. Yeah, that'd be an extra 120 quid. I was like, come on, mate. Come on. I'm already spending that on food every week. Oh dear.

Well, I think that was telling me about surrogacy and people not knowing about knowing about i think that's why it's so important you talk about it because people it's a fairly new sort of science isn't it of like the surrogacy and i don't know how it all works and things like that like and i think it's just people getting used to it the same with you know the organ donations getting you know someone needs to live they get an organ donation and stuff like that and it's someone it came from another body now it's in yours it's like if that was mental but now it's sort of like oh that's just something that happens i think it's just a it'll be a slow process and people like you talking about it will massively help that so i think it's really important yeah i agree i just i think the biggest thing it could give people is hope and it's just that thing i think of people hopefully like will look at look at

and just go actually you know what i can make that move in and i can i can there's something i can do when when it feels like there's nothing else that's working for you. And that's what you hope that people, yeah, people see that. Would you go again? Or are you sticking at one? Yeah, we've sort of, I don't know, man. Do you know, I... It's a three-way chat, though, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Knock on the door and go, Anderson Spunk and go, oh, we're in again. I think we just, we feel just so lucky that it's worked the first time and we've got this little miracle and we're just like,

that's the thing at the moment. Enjoy that for the moment. And also, yeah, because I think it's been such a long journey that I just, I don't really want to think about anything apart from her at the moment. It will be a distraction

when you're just, you've waited so long for this baby. Yeah, and also what you realise is it's all encompassing isn't it it's like you know she's been a really like a joy

and I you know but then you get that thing of going like you know like last night for example just couldn't

we have we have family round so everyone's holding her she's had a day where like she's like more like oh shit

like well this is going on and then you think oh she'll be tired out so she'll sleep right through and she was up at like every hour and a half, do you know what I mean? Overly stimulated.

At what point in that does the magic of the miracle end? At what point in the night is the word miracle not being thrown around quite as much? It's hard because I keep on... Everyone says that to me, but I do sort of... Like, you know, this morning at 6am, she's sort of like stirring and sort of laughing and whatever, and sort of like you go over and pick her up. And at the time, every, like, you know, like this morning at 6am, she's sort of like, stirring and sort of laughing and whatever, and sort of like,

you go over and pick her up. And at the time, I'm like, and then I look at her and I think, oh, you know what, it's, it's like,

yeah, you, I feel so, I think, blessed with it all. It's, it's, it's,

we're actually just sounding corny, I guess. You just feel like, don't get me wrong, there's moments of like, you know, like yesterday when I was doing a podcast with Romesh, and Romesh is pretty punctual, he's like, like nine o'clock. You don't feel blessed then? No, no, but it's like nine o'clock, we're get me wrong, there's moments of like, you know, like yesterday when I was doing a podcast with Ramesh, and Ramesh is pretty punctual.

He's like, like, nine o'clock. You don't feel blessed then? No, no, but it's like nine o'clock, we're doing a podcast. And I've got my mum and dad here, and I'm like, all the family come around, I'm cooking Sunday lunch. And then my wife, I'm like, I'll give her an extra hour in bed, do you know what I mean? And then the Ocado order comes, bang on the door.

So I'm opening that and getting that, I'm trying to put that away. And then my mum goes, Grace has done shit like that. And I'm like, what? Will someone sort it out? She went, it's a big one. I think this is one for you. So I go in and it's, you know, the rotavirus thing they have, the drink. No, what's that?

Yeah, they have a rotavirus. So when you take them for their jabs and their injections, they have like a basic shot of this thing, which stops them having. I'm not aware of the rotavirus drink. So she has to drink this? Yeah, it's like a thing that they do like it's a shot

hopefully otherwise I've been like it might be a jackass prank oh no yeah I've seen it or otherwise I'm going to be on Saturday night

takeaway and it'll be like you're going to get punked what was that shot you gave my daughter Adam Deck dressed up as nurses

so yeah so that comes out of their system and it was that it was like everywhere and then i'm just i've got romesh texting me going um he does this funny thing where he takes like 20 times going i'm here i'm here and i'm like just i'm covered in shit like onto my elbows and she's laughing and you're like all right yeah so you have those moments but uh yeah how is it going though she's sleeping all right 10 weeks it's still a bit brutal isn't it 10 weeks early stages

Rob that's the thing like we we were fortunate enough that we got her into a not a routine but we were sort of like I don't know she sort of goes down

at about 9 roughly to about sort of midnight anywhere between midnight and half 1 and then sleeps through to about half 5, 6 from there

that's good isn't it yeah I mean let's face fact that's absolutely fucking terrible but in the grand scheme of things amazing for the first six seven weeks we were like we did it in shifts like we were working in a prison like so i'd literally go like a 24-hour garage yeah i'd go to bed at like half six in the evening and wake up at about 1am and my wife would then pass me the baby and then i'd just sit looking at her like like i was on h-wing like you know sort of having about 50 coffees and sugary snacks and sort of like you know then my wife would come down and go like do you want to go

and have a nap and sort of like a lot we were clocking off and on but we were like so like you know i think so sort of like it's natural You're going to read stuff in it and you, you, you hear stuff and people make say things and like, you know, so we were just so panicked about certain situations that sort of like could arise during the sleep. We were like, mate, we're like,

she goes to bed and she's like, I'm like, you know, I've got these monitors on her and it's like, it's like, this is what daddy does for a living. It's, uh,

got a gaffer who comes in just before she goes to bed little masking tape on the cot lay there just that's your position try and keep it consistent we're up against the clock here you're on three takes did you take time off work then when you knew she was coming or have you had to work still how's it because it's it's difficult with your kind of job because it's all sort of freelancing all over the place uh unfortunately she came i had like two or three weeks off we finished the curse and i had like two or three weeks off yeah the curse is brilliant series on channel four on demand now with it people just do nothing corruptive m boys are in it yeah thank you um yeah so we had that and and then i was just writing i was just doing some other bits

so i i was fortunate before she was just doing some other bits so I was fortunate before she was born because everyone told her she'd come early but she came a week late and then which was like my anxiety I was trying to play golf

during that time and it was like my scores went up from about 100-203 to about 140 I was just so anxious but then I was yeah so 14th December

Christmas then 3rd of January I was back working I was back filming I was doing a film at the moment. And it was like that sort of kicked in and sort of, that was brutal though. That was like, and I got COVID.

And then, so I isolated. And then basically I had to try and shoot everything really quickly. So I was doing like 5 a.m. pickups, getting home at nine o'clock. The missus had been there all day with the kid, the baby. And then I'm like, oh, she needs a break.

So I sort of try and muster through yeah you can't moan you can't moan no you can't I remember driving to Crewe I drove to Crewe

four hour drive did a gig drove back from Crewe got back at 2am and Lou went to me have a till morning I was like I'm going to die here

I'm going to die here I'm going to be heavily dramatic but I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die here there's no way I'm going to die here did you have die there's no way did you have thoughts of like

heart attacks I was like it's a long eight hours of driving and I come in like I'm fucked I came in fucked

and then I've just been like it's a baby for six hours it's like this can't be true this can't be allowed fuck it is so fucking hard that's the bit

that I found really like tiring of the you're doing those like long and also there's a part of you

that goes like fucking this is a long old day this is like a really long so then also there's a part of you going well I get picked up

and I'm in a really fortunate blessed position but then also you are like literally by the end of the sort of like morning when she Catherine comes down

she's like oh yeah I feel better for today and you're like oh shit look the car's outside i've got to go back i've got to go back to filming and then and then sort of just literally for the whole day just like drinking and there was times where i thought oh my god i'm just gonna kill over and i'll be like tommy cooper on set and it was just god what a performance that was oh no he's actually dead he's like even men are dying that's true yeah exactly we and Lou argued a lot where when I was driving on tour

that's different but when I was doing some TV I was doing Taskmaster and I got driven to Twickenham basically which was like an hour and a half there

and a half back and she argued that was my sleep because I was sat in the back of a car so I was like so she goes I've only had like

five hours sleep I'm like well I've only had two hours so she went yeah but you was in a car for three hours i'm like you can't were you driving it and also that's gonna be driver dependent isn't it i'll give you if i'm on a motorway for three hours i'll let you have it if i'm going around london the little roads there that's not i'm not sleeping there also no it's also you get in a car

and some blokes you're gonna go oh go, oh yeah, just so you know, I've got like a fucking two week old baby so there's a good chance I'm going to crash out. Most decent drivers will go, sweet,

but you're going to get someone going, boy or girl? And you're like, oh, nice one, yeah, that's good,

yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll see that thing you did the other week and it's like, oh, fucking hell.

And then there's that one, girl, when you're going for the boy then, that old school thing blokes from working class backgrounds are obsessed with having a boy

it's mental it's insane isn't it why did you want a girl Tom what was the reason that you kind of I don't know because my niece I've got a niece

and a nephew they're both amazing and I just I don't know I just thought number one that sort of joke that you have

that they'll look after you when you get a bit older but I don't know I just always sort of like it that sort of joke that you have that they'll look after you when you get a bit older. But I don't know, I just always sort of like, it was just something we'd always thought of having and just always talked about. It's sort of like our heart was always around, you know, don't get me wrong, if it had been a boy, it would have been amazing.

Yeah, and that was by sort of chance with it being a girl. Yeah, it was a complete chance, yeah. Can you do that then in surrogacy? I think you can. You can tweak it. Yeah, I think in America they can do something. Because I think Kim Kardashian had that. I've got no information on this, and I could be wildly inaccurate.

Yeah, you don't want to be sued by her. She's studying to be a lawyer. Yeah. Imagine that. That would be so pathetic, wouldn't it? Turn up to fucking Croydon Crown Court. Kim Kardashian. A bit absolutely fleeced.

Like ruined. So come going, what happened? Kim Kardashian been absolutely fleeced yeah like ruined my daughter yeah so come going what happened and me going well I said on a podcast that you know Kim Kardashian

has chosen me there used to be a thing called a podcast back in the day yeah would you do more like would you go into

more kids things you were in Paddington 2, obviously. Yeah. Which is going to be quite exciting when she's old enough to see Paddington 2. Can you see yourself doing more kid stuff? Yeah. Wonka, I'll do Wonka at the moment, but I think that's probably, yeah, sort of kid-ish. What are you planning, Willy Wonka?

It can't be an Oompa Loompa, can it? No, no. He's playing three of the Oompa Loompas. Cut me down. I can't really say Oompa Loompa can it no no he's playing three of the Oompa Loompas cut me down I can't really say Beck so it's oh there it is it's like this big

confidentiality thing but yeah not an Oompa Loompa you Charlie Bucket it should have been amazing that would be like I'd love to have been I'd love to have been like the Charlie Bucket of the future

do you know what I mean like like he's basically been left the fucking chocolate factory he's still trying to make it work but he's got none of the tricks he's gone up against fucking cabris that would be amazing wouldn't it

so when are you got a bit of time off then once this is filmed that's a difficult thing isn't it you can't really go no sorry I'm not going to do Willy Wonka I'm going to have three months off no I also I think it kicks in you've got to be the breadwinner so I've like, you know, I think it kicks in, like you sort of like, you've got, you know,

being a breadwinner and like, so I sort of, I've got like bits of writing, bits of doing. Would you continue to do stuff, passion projects? Can you see yourself going, oh, fuck it. I'm just going to do this thing for the money now. I've got a kid now. No, no, I think I was, I don't know. It's a weird one, isn't it?

He's moving house, Tom. No, I'm not moving house. He's moving house. I'm not moving house. He's been looking at a new house so he's panicking well I'm not I'm not going into

the fucking jungle I love that so much clip it up can you imagine me showering under that fucking fountain yes I can

fucking ET's having a wash oh my days. I don't think you'd do the jungle, strictly. Would you do it, Tom? No, no, no. I've got no... The jungle, I just constantly just...

I just don't think it would be for me. I just can't... I just think... They won't give you enough food, and you need a lot of... You're too big to survive on that little bit. Do the bush tucker trial, and they'd turn around,

and you'd have eaten it all. Yeah, cheers to that scene a bit. Cheers, I've not seen this show before. It's nice, isn't it? Been rice and beans for a month. Where's Dec gone? He's eaten Dec. Well, that's the thing.

He's got a fucking napkin down my front. That's fucking nice. Well, that's the thing on the jungle is they don't do portion sizes on people. So you'll get the same portion as Tom Daley. And there's no way Tom Daley or Josh needs as much. It would always be funny, though, if it turned a bit dark and you got someone who's really big and hungry

who started nicking food off other people. Like a bully at a school playground. I'm bigger than you. Give me some rice and beans. And people kept him in. The dark, sinister nature of the beast. Should we vote for that big bully who keeps taking everyone's food? Just leave him in. The dog said it's the nature of the British. Should we vote for that big bully? He keeps taking everyone's food. Let's leave him in. So you're in Lincolnshire?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just for the wife, man. She wanted it. I think, like, the next move would be probably sort of move down south again, sort of, right? We lived in Bermondsey for the beginning of our relationship and then sort of Kingston for a bit. So we sort of...

Her family's up there, is that right? Yeah, her family's up here. So we were like, it was a matter of, yeah, being close to them really for her, sort of like being close to her dad. So you sort of, and also the nature of our job is we're on the road all the time. We're busy, right? We sort of, you know, if I'm filming or whatever I'm doing, you know, it's not, up to lockdown, I'd never really worked from home.

So it's sort of all of a sudden like yeah it's sort of but then you you know I'm close with my family I've sort of got big

well now the thing is as well you've not had to worry about schools and stuff so like if you do move you sort of need to move

when she's about four or five so that she can go to that school because you don't really want to be moving her when she's older

do you know what I mean no no because that comes with its own like things and also yeah you're like you're conscious

constantly I don't know, you two. But you probably want her to have friends from nursery that then she goes into school with. You don't want her to start school and not learn any more. I'm not worried about that. I think nursery you can cut it off. But from primary to secondary,

you want to make it a bit more cohesive. My daughter's nursery mates is intense friendships. It's so mad. Really? She's got this group there's four of them and it's it's fucking intense yeah but I think

you've got how old's your daughter now four four they've got the relationship of a of a girl band that's been touring together

for too long oh wow they've got well I think you want a balance you don't want to move them too much but also they've got to learn that people come and go in their lives yeah and they can't have crutches what are your daughter's ages rob four and six so um my eldest is in year one of school and then my youngest is starting reception next year so um yeah so obviously when they leave nursery the kids are

going to all different primary schools yeah but um, I don't really want to move again now. We really like the school they're in and there's a good secondary school nearby as well. So we're quite happy in this. We might move, but we would stay in this area. Yeah, you've... But if you're going to do it properly... You'd move out, wouldn't you?

Like, you'd be getting that sort of bit out, Surrey sort of... Yeah, a bit further out. So like, at the moment, we're in their school, but I think 20-minute drive, any direction we could probably move to. I don't want to be driving, doing the school run, killing yourself for an hour and a half.

Do you live near to where you both grew up, then? No, Josh don't. I do. I'm in sort of the nicer end of where I grew up. Because Lou's from the nicer bit of Bromley where I grew up in Mottingham, which is fine. But it's not as glam. I lived four hours from where I grew up.

I grew up in Devon, mate. Oh, of course you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he's in East London. He's got like an inner city kid. They're going to be like them posh kids, you know, like Madonna's son and Noel Gallagher's kids.

Looking around with Guy Ritchie's boy. Yeah, Rocco Ritchie's round for a couple of two. Why's Rocco hanging around with a 10-year-old? He's 29. That's a bit odd. There's a 15-year age gap here, Rocco. What sort of dad do you reckon you'll be Tom?

I don't know already it's like you see the difference of your like you know my wife's all about she's about routine she's about like

she's very on everything you know which is incredible she's sort of like you know she's well read she's you know

and I'm just sort of doing silly voices and sort of you know don't get me wrong I'm like I'm sort of fully like you know every aspect of having a baby I'm into but I doing silly voices and sort of, yeah, don't get me wrong. I'm like, I'm sort of fully like, you know, every aspect of having a baby I'm into,

but I find the hardest thing is if she wakes up not messing about and like doing silly voices or silly faces to her. And then my missus will be like, she needs to fucking rest. Right. And you're stimulating her. And I'm, I'm,

I'm sort of doing like weird accents and, and yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I guess you'd hope that you'd be a fun dad if that's your job otherwise you'll be you know when you read about like sort of comedians of sort of like yesteryear and it'll be like oh he was horrible at home yeah exactly he never had a sense of humor like you'd just be like used to come home and he'd sit in his study and shout

if we ever went in there you kind of hope that like you be the sort of dad that'd go oh no no get out I'm writing he was as massive dickhead at home as he was in his day to day work I think that's the thing that yeah you'd hope that you'd bring a bit of that home

what are you both like are you like you're not quite strict I'd imagine Josh no what no don't chill out mate

he's an absolute pussy she bullies him his daughter into watching blue when the football's out I don't even get to watch football's out. I wake up every morning, we watch golf. We had football on all day yesterday.

She's 10 weeks. Don't get cocky, mate. I was watching the Olympics at that point. I wanted to look at golf. She associates those moments with fun times. I'd give them a team to cheer on. Do you?

We want that team to win, even if it's a game I don't care about. And then they're like, oh, let's just pick the best team. And then they get excited because their team's winning. Oh, wow. That's quite a good way of doing it. Yeah, yeah.

I was going to say, though, Tom, as well, we're from both working class backgrounds, South London, where it's a lot of geezery and quite alpha. And it was almost like different. My dad was really hands-on and loves us to to pieces but there is a little bit of a distance between sort of lads growing up like with their dad sometimes a bit like they won't do nappies or that's a bit it's a bit old school stereotype so do you feel like quite different it's like

help the way that your dad was with you and stuff and you all of your kids or was your dad a bit different a bit more modern my dad was yeah really more dad was like, my mum and dad both worked. So my dad would like, at the weekends, my mum would work. She still worked for the, you know, I keep fucking going on, NHS. So my mum was a nurse. So she'd work at weekends and evenings. So my dad was really like present. Like, you know, he was, you know, and still is. He's an incredible dad.

He's sort of, we're really close. Yeah, my dad was the same. And he's older generation. And he shouldn't have been really. He was like, he's 78, my dad. But he was properly, like, whenever he weren't working was proper hands on doing stuff playing games and just like but yeah even now though um with that though bex i sort of found this i like i'm sort of still a lot of powers of geysers i grew up with who work on

sites and whatever and like you play golf and they're like oh you're gonna do nappies i thought i genuinely thought now that everyone did i thought that was like, I find that obscene that there's people who wouldn't. You're going to hug your kid, are you? You're going to kiss them on the cheek? You sicko. You sick fuck. You're going to emotionally support them, you pussy. You're going to see if they're all right after school,

you mug fuck off. You're going to give them a stable background. You're going to try and rub every barmaid that we come into contact with. in a stable background you're a giant rum heaven bar mate that we come into contact with yeah man

I've I've found that sort of like the nutty the weird thing of like how also I've got a lot of friends who had I've got friends now

who are my age who are grandfathers do you know what I mean which is insane you know genuinely like I've got two mates one of my god sons

is a grand like he's he's got his kids now do you know what I mean he's got two kids yeah he's not a a grand he's got he's kids now do you know what I mean he's got two kids yeah he's not a grandad he's a god son

no no he's got kids so my best pal he's like so that's a major thing to think of like but even then I see the difference now

like you think like my pal was he'd have been 19 when he had his boy and now you look at him actually he's a grandfather he's more invested in like you know he's a good and now you look at him, actually he's a grandfather he's more invested in he's a good dad

but I think if he could go back again he'd change stuff I think that's the interesting thing of having kids later in life, it's like I look at it and think at some points I'm like you know, because Jamie's obviously a good pal of mine and he his little boy and my little girl were born within two weeks of each other and then there's a part

Jamie Redback yeah so you're like 40 you're both in your 40s and you're like so you're older dads but there's a part of me thinking I don't think

I'd have been as I don't think I was as settled as a human being as like in my 20s even some of my 30s until I met my wife and I look at you know

and now you want to give her the most stable background you possibly can but it's an interesting the other thing I find really weird like Robbie is that like i'm massively i'm very like i'm proud working class i'm proud of where i've come from a crowd proud of what i've accomplished in this world that we are working but like from where like from the background that i've come and like i was bought

brought up as a very working you know very very like hard working class background when money was tight and all of a sudden, I'm going to be raising a little girl who's essentially living in a very middle class background. And there's no odds on any of our three kids are going to be middle class, right? Yeah, of course. And so there's a bone of,

how do you keep that ethos of the sort of sensibilities that you were brought up with and make sure that's sort of there for her and that she knows like because even now like my dad takes a piss out of like stuff that i'm doing and stuff like like you know my dad you know it's like you know uh and ideas that i have of and he's like oh you know fucking you know you you've got to have that pride in and let her know like where she comes from you know you know yeah yeah you sort of yeah so you don't want to spoil them but you also

well it's all progress isn't it and it's sort of like i i got really troubled by that and i was like oh god i'm different and they're not going to get on and from different backgrounds and stuff but you know from a grandparent's point of view like if your grandchildren are living a much more comfortable lifestyle it isn't things aren't as tight i think they've done their job well they've given uh opportunities and lifestyle to their son, in this case, has then carried that on with that work ethic of working hard. And now you can offer your daughter things you never had.

And that all stems from the hard work from them. So I think really they may be a bit different to them, but it shows progress and that they've done a good job. I've been up since 3am, but I feel quite emotional when you say that, Bex. I had a little shiver there of like genuinely that's the thing I find really hard to control

like you have this like the emotion of being a father right and yes oh mate I'm an emotional wreck I can cry on fucking anything now

like genuinely like I find myself just having moments where I just feel overcome by it and sort of like just being like put yourself together

put yourself together yeah like also I don't know how you you know I talked a lot with rom about this i don't know you know all three of us do a job where yeah he's quite emotionally dead though and i think he's the opposite i think yeah i think it's i think it's a real it's a real melting point that's uh just so covered over it's sort of like a dormant volcano you think there's nothing there but one day but we're um we talk about having imposter syndrome and you can kind of just about get away with that in in your working life right and all of us are like yeah we do say we're

we're fortunate to do what we do for a living we're so lucky that's what we get up to doing like you know uh and we've all excelled at that which is fucking great because i think probably started off around the same sort of time and like you see like other people come and go whatever i'll store you the open mic gigs oh yeah no do you know that's i should say this is my favorite because i've got a fucking i'm doing um always be comedy tonight and uh like doing like some new material stuff mate you got up at 3 a.m have a night off, mate. That's a four hour drive. Anyway, but I literally always Beckett, so I was gigging

back in the day, an open mic night, trying characters on our Becks. Yeah, he was doing a new character at this open mic night, yeah. And Beckett came up to me afterwards. I didn't say it till the end, did I? I think you, no, you said it to me a while after. No, you said it about a couple of months after. I don't think I said it to the night I think I

said it to you later after one of your hit shows Beckett said go used to it because it's not well I was sorry about the open mic and it was a it was a new character I don't think you've carried on it's fair to say he's never really seen the light of day it just wasn't as good as the other ones he did I remember seeing him later on and we met and we were getting on really well and he'd done some brilliant acting stuff murdering like baftas a murder successful and hugely successful i mean yeah i remember doing that gig together but he went yeah that was years ago that thing and i remember thinking he's got something but it ain't this you don't know that worst thing of that gig right is because i remember like and we still have that thing of, like,

Beckett and me come up around the same sort of time. It was about 20 people in a basement in London watching us. You have that weird thing of, like, everyone kept on saying, like, you must have met Beckett, you and Beckett. We come from very similar backgrounds. Yeah. Sort of like, you know, we never, I think we did eight out of ten cats twice together.

Yeah, yeah. But no one ever put us on the same bill because it was like, I always get lumped with Victoria Cora Mitchell. I remember doing Cats With You, and Stormy was one of my favourite things I ever did, that Cats With You. Oh, you did your thing about your dad

and charneling off friends, wasn't you? That's hilarious. But I remember doing that gig and everyone was saying, oh, yeah, wait till you and Rob will hit it off, you're from the same... And I was like... Turned on this open mic and Beckett was there I was like oh fucking hell

and I was doing this new character thought oh fuck maybe I should just do saying that at the time I was doing Sleep but a different version of it and I was like maybe I should do

no it's a new material I should try saying new I think she'll smash it and then I just remember afterwards like all I could think of in the fucking long walk home was like

Beckett thinks people go to Beckett oh wait till you meet Big Tom Davies you'll get on him and Beckett thinking oh go to Beckett oh wait till you meet Big Tom Davies you'll get on him and Beckett thinking he's an absolute waitress

all I remember thinking was it was like the character weren't working but I was like how can someone who's so funny so charismatic and so likeable

be doing this badly what what it just didn't make sense it was like someone throwing the ball to Cristiano Ronaldo and he was just like

spooing it off to the left he just looked perfect he had everything going but it just it just weren't the right character that's what it's about trying things yeah

but that's a weird thing isn't it of going back now and doing gigs again like and doing because you sort of missed that I love the immediate feedback

of a live gig yeah it's also weird now like it's not even like you don't have the immediate feedback of something going out on TV that night and then going, looking on Twitter or Instagram and going, oh shit, people are watching it and people are talking.

Because people will just box at it and they might message you, might not. So you don't have any of that sort of stuff that we were used to having when we all started out. So actually getting out and doing live stuff and feeling like... Are you going to do a live tour then of characters? No, it'll be sort of characters. Or is it stand-up? Stand-up with characters, that sort of thing. Oh, brilliant. i think that's that's the plan i think it is to sort of how desperate is a man for a hotel room sleeve yeah i just want to get back to stand my roots

you've shown no interest in that for the last fucking eight, ten years. You're literally saying to me how lucky you were that you didn't have to fucking do any more gigs. Well, if you do, if you want to do some work in progress, I know a good little promoter

that runs eight gigs in the Highlands of Scotland that always sell out. They're really excited to see new people do live stuff, but it's eight nights at a hotel,

so if you want that, we can arrange that. Well, she listens to this podcast, so that'll be my fucking summer holiday now. Oh, come with a baby what Tom

thank you so much that is so genuinely one more question oh yeah which feels a bit glib doesn't it really after the conversation we've had

well yeah I'll ask the question but I thought I'd say honestly though I know we said it earlier but you talking about it is so important

and a lot of people we get loads of messages of hearing different sort of parenting stories that are like slightly slightly different um uh and and being open about it and especially as a bloke from you know your background because working class folks don't talk about anything and it's the more they do the better it'll be so well done for that I think it was really important but now you talk about returning to stand-up I thought that was really brave very brave very brave no he's not he'll smash it um the question is is that it might be difficult with 10 weeks in but is there one thing that your partner does parenting wise that annoys you that you'd rather she didn't do but you haven't brought it up yet because he might cause a row

is there something you differ on at the moment i think it's is that technique of trying to number burping technique seems to be a bone of contention like we we have that thing of like i have my way she has hers but also like getting her to sleep is like katherine i was like like this method that she's like this works all the time but that just doesn't it's like everything that she's i'm like i can make a burp i can get her to sleep yeah i just do it differently yeah she's like yeah but it's kind of like she has to know one way. I'm like, she really doesn't. She just needs to burp and fucking sleep, and then she'll be fine. But yeah, that's pretty much it, really.

It's weird, though. With some kids, like my second one, I could get to sleep instantly with one technique, and Lou tried doing it. It would never work. So it's just whatever works for you, isn't it? Oh, man. And I find burping is just like the winding technique.

Oh, burping. Oh, fuck off. It's so fucking difficult. You know what? It's insane. You play golf, right, Bex? Yeah winding technique. Oh, burping. Fuck off. It's so fucking difficult. You know what? It's insane. You play golf, right, Bex? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, same.

I'm not like... But like burping, I took to burping a bit like I take to like any sort of sport or fucking playing like championship manager. Like, oh, you know, it's a victory. It's like literally like you make it almost like a computer. Once you've got it, it's like to get like that last fucking like 10 15 mil of formula like making sure she drinks it so she ko's yeah so you treat that like a game you're like right okay if i can get her to do this then i'll fucking win it being her dad and if i don't i fucking suck i'm a loser yeah i need to go back to the fucking drawing board on all of my fucking ethos

of what I'm doing. Get a few lessons at the club. Just standing there with fucking you two in a fucking Beckett's car. No, mate, all you got to do, right,

is just... Ease it in. Ease it in, Tom. Don't fuck about. Don't just ram it in. Some radicams and then slow. Let's get a taste for it

and then give it a rest. Tom, thanks so much for that thanks so much absolute pleasure cheers Tom cheers chaps