Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP18: Kate Lawler

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

S04 EP18: Kate Lawler Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the presenter, model and DJ - Kate Lawler. Kate's new book 'Maybe Baby: On The Mother Side' is available to buy now. And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce another Parenting Hell Live show!! On top those already announced below (tickets are now on general sale but going fast!!) we're also doing a show at Birmingham Utilita Arena on Friday 28th April 2023. Tickets will be available on pre-sale at 10am on Monday (28th Match) so make sure you sign up to the mailing list to get the link.To sign up to the mailing list if you haven't already just cut and paste this into your browser:parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 20223 - London (Wembley)Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Elsie, say Rob Beckett. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba. And say Josh Widdicombe. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Good girl. Good girl.

Absolutely smashed it. Oh, wow. Do you know what? We're going to get to a point where these kids are going to be grown up and they can say it properly. Yes. Imagine getting. How long would it have to go for the kid to have had their own kids

and get them to say it? It's like that 7-Up show. Do you watch that? I think it's the best show that's ever been made. Oh, yeah. Every seven years they do a catch-up. Oh, man, that's good. This is my 20-month-old daughter, Elsie, who was born in July 2020.

As if one pandemic baby wasn't enough, we've just had another baby who is 10 weeks old called Theo. Your podcast has been getting me through the chaos of a life of two under two. Thanks for all the belly laughs. Looking forward to seeing you in Manchester next year. Yes, I always forget to do this. We are on tour next year. Manchester, Wembley, O2, Nottingham, Cardiff. Yes. Do buy your tickets

because it's going to be lots of fun. Love from Lottie. Who is from, Rob? Oh, Swanley. Plymouth. Oh, fuck. Big city. Big city. Of course she's from there. So many people are from there. Most people are from there. Hiring, firing, perspiring in Plymouth. Yeah, the alternative capital

of the UK. The alternative capital of the UK. The alternative capital of the UK? What's that mean? I was just saying that it's a big deal. Isn't it? Is that what it is? Is that a thing? No, no, no.

I was just bullshitting. Oh, right. It's just all got long hair and into beans. Oh, no, no, no. Not alternative like that. As in, like, alternative to London. Like, as in the second capital. Oh, sorry. Yeah, London, Frankfurt.

Yeah, yeah. Paris, Plymouth. That was a strange one to choose as your the second capital. Oh, sorry. Yeah, London, Frankfurt. Yeah, yeah. Paris, Plymouth. That was a strange one to choose as your second big city. Frankfurt's big, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, big city and money. Is it?

I think. Officially Frankfurt's most populous city in the German state of Heersir. The German state of Heersir? Why are we doing this? Heersir. This is the worst start we've done in a while. Rob, how are you? We don't need this is the worst start we've done in a while. Rob, we don't need how are you. I think franking,

hang on, Frankfurt banking, I think it's a big deal. It's a banking quarter, they're bank converter. What am I doing? Sorry, I'm really sorry,

can I make a public apology? Yeah, go on. Can I apologise to everyone listening for Googling Frankfurt in a pathetic attempt to try and claim that it is some sort of

banking hotspot. I love Germany. Have you been? Yes, I've been. I think it's my favourite place to go, people-wise. They are so nice. I prefer Munich to Berlin. Berlin's a bit cool and grey,

where Munich's a bit more traditional German. Yeah, have you been to Oktoberfest? No, I want to go. Yeah, that's incredible. That's really good. It's in September. Anyway. Shall we in September. Anyway. Should we do it?

Yeah. Should we do one live from... Should we do, for no reason whatsoever, a Parenting Hell live from Oktoberfest? Yeah, do you know what, Rob? It'll be a lot of fun, but the following episode I'll be in a real hole. You'll be so sad.

Josh had three pints and he's fucked. Oh, God. I can't deal with it anymore. I don't want to get the flight home. How are you, Josh? All right? Yeah, I'm good, actually. I'm excited about life.

You know. Good news. Tooth Fairy turned up in the end. Oh, well done, Tooth Fairy. Yeah, yeah. She found her way. How much does Tooth Fairy leave these days? Well, normally a two pound coin, but because it was a two dayer, it was a five pound note.

Whoa. Big time. Normally two quider, it was a £5 note. Whoa! Big time. Normally two quid. More than 100% interest per day. I know, it's a good job she turned up, isn't it? Yeah, bloody hell. She'd be well out of pocket. Rob?

Yes? It's a big announcement day, isn't it? It is a big announcement for people in the Midlands. Yes, exactly. They are going into lockdown. They're closing the M6 toll. Lockdown tier three, just for the Midlands. Yes, exactly. They are going into lockdown. They're closing the M6 toll. Lockdown tier three, just for the Midlands. No. The exciting news is we're putting another live show on at, Josh?

Birmingham. Whatever it's called these days. Whatever it's called in Birmingham. We don't know, do we? Let me Google it. Birmingham Arena. What's it called? Utilita?

Is that something else? I don't know. Whatever big company sponsored it yes and we heartily endorse

the product of Utilitea yeah Arena Birmingham yeah do you know where that is Rob

that's where they used to film Gladiators oh yeah where they used to do Gladiators yeah Birmingham Arena NEC

whatever you call it Utilita whatever umbilical cord call it what you want, the big one in the middle of Birmingham or wherever it is in Birmingham. You know where it is. It's on the website. Yeah, exactly. If you sign up to the mailing list, you'll get an email, I imagine.

Exactly. Just Google our, yeah, sign up to the mailing list, and then on Monday at 10 a.m., this is how it works, you get first dibs. Pre-sale email will be sent to you on Monday. Okay, well, Birmingham... Fuck! I just hurt my elbow, sorry.

I just... Oh, sorry. That's a siren. I've got the window open. It's hot. This is a disaster. A siren, you've hurt your elbow. This is not good enough.

If you want more of this, but lie. Yeah, you're in luck if you're in the Midlands anyway sign up and you'll get a link to the email yeah 10am on Monday the pre-sale link goes out

and then it's on general sale on Wednesday the 30th what a great Mother's Day present when is the gig we should tell oh yeah sorry

when's the gig it's the gig? It's the 28th of April next year. 28th of April. That's a Friday night as well. What a great night out that'll be. Sign up to the mailing list to get the tickets ahead of everyone else. And then on the Wednesday, they will go on sale to the absolute plebs that aren't on the mailing list. Great Mother's Day present, guys.

The riffraff that aren't on the mailing list. The scum. The scum that haven't signed't on the mailing list. Great Mother's Day present, guys. The riffraff that aren't on the mailing list. The scum. The scum that haven't signed up to the mailing list. The mouth-breathing losers. Yeah, sign up. There we go. That's exciting. And also, all the others are still, I don't know.

I don't even know anymore. But Mother's Day, Sunday, what a great gift. You get the gist. Let's Steve write it. Manchester, 14th of April. Nottingham, 19th of April. Cardiff, 20 a great gift. You get the gist. Let's Steve write it. Manchester, 14th of April. Nottingham, 19th of April. Cardiff, 20th of April. London, 02 to 21st of April.

London, Wembley, the 23rd of April. And now Birmingham, Utilitia Arena, the 28th of April. See you there. Josh, can I say something? This is a very exciting episode for you. We had Kate Lawler on, who's got an amazing story about, you know, trying to conceive. there um josh can i say something this this is a very exciting episode for you we had kate lawler on who's got an amazing story about you know trying to conceive and they did a whole podcast about did they want kids or not have kids and she's great great guest she's written a whole

book about being a parent and and she obviously got the podcast about it and it's a huge career as a dj however all josh widdicombe could do was wait for moments to talk about johnny the fireman from big brother or other big brother things i just think it's a very culturally relevant topic However, all Josh Whittakin could do was wait for moments to talk about Johnny the Fireman from Big Brother. Or other Big Brother things. I just think it's a very culturally relevant topic. I loved Big Brother. I think it's my favourite TV show of all time. Early series of Big Brother are incredible.

Bloody hell, they were good. Listen to this, Josh. See how you like this. Come on! So good. like this come on so good that's big brother one yeah don't big brother two they're the same aren't they yeah exactly the same big brother three yeah it's the same it's the same yeah yeah same a big brother four no no i don't think we i think we made the point yeah's the same. It's the same. Yeah, yeah, same. Big Brother 4? No, no, I don't think we made the point. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's exactly the same, yeah. Was it Paul Oakman fold?

No, but basically, this is a five-minute YouTube video of Big Brother intros from 2000 to 2018, but I think they're all the same. That is... Big Brother 5? That is a low moment. When does it change?

Six? No, that's's this is mental seven let me do the last series and see what that was is it Big Brother 17 what's the point oh I get it

the titles have changed the songs are the same oh my god you're such a loser Rob oh my word but I enjoyed it I uh I love Big Brother I was thinking I don't remember them changing the song's the same. Oh my God, you're such a loser, Rob. Oh my word. But I enjoyed it. I, uh,

I loved it. I was thinking, I don't remember them changing the song. They did, they just changed the credits. I was used to, you know that bit where they came out

and all their mates would greet them after they'd left? Yeah. I always thought, I don't know if I've got enough friends. You look really sad.

I wouldn't, I never told anyone I did comedy for about a year and a half in my family. I'd have just gone into Big Brother on my own. Imagine that,

you come out of Big Brother, there's Davina and two mates. Oh, I'm in there with King year and a half in my family. I'd have just gone into Big Brother on my own. Imagine that. You come out of Big Brother. There's Davina and two mates. Oh, I'm in there with Kinga and a bottle of Chardonnay. Yeah, I'd love to do a proper reunion show at Big Brother. Wouldn't that be amazing? That would be. Get them all in a room. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Sorry, I'm just thinking about life. I'm just really thinking about when life was so simple where does it go channel 4 9 o'clock you've got some fucking Pringles on the go

can of Diet Coke no kids to put to bed do you know what why Big Brother those early Big Brothers mean so much to us because that was a period when we had nothing

we had no responsibilities no phone either really in those years 2000 oh my word here's Kate Lawler apologies for all the Big Brother questions Phone, either, really, in those years. 2000. Oh, my word. Here's Kate Lawler. Apologies for all the Big Brother questions that will come eventually.

We'll get the baby stuff out of the way so we can move on to Big Brother pretty quickly. No, let's talk about Big Brother. After Josh is pretending to care about children for a bit. What was PJ really like? No. Right. Hello, Kate Lawler.

Hello. Thanks for having me, guys. I love the podcast. Oh, thank you so much for coming on. We're very excited. I'm excited to be here. What's your kind of set up in terms of you've got one child, right? That's correct.

Just the one. Her name's Noah. She was one a couple of weeks ago. Oh, wow. So still in the early stages. Yeah. So fair play to both of you for doing it twice um yes i definitely don't think i could do it again but when did you guys start thinking let's do it again or did you always know that you wanted another one because

everyone keeps telling me that now she's one i will start thinking about having another child i think we always had it in our minds that we'd do it again. Rob was quite quick out of the blocks with the second one, weren't you? Yes, we very much wanted to smash two out and then try and get back to some sort of normality. And that's still not happened and they're six and four. So I think what I'd say is it's stressful if you have one quickly after.

However, there's more chance of them playing together if they're of similar ages. However, there's more chance of them playing together if they're similar ages. So I'm happy with their decision, but it doesn't suit everyone. But yeah, we smashed two under two. It's so common, isn't it? Everyone always, it's one of the most common things I've been told,

just get it over and done with, get it out the way. I've got it out the way once, I don't need to do it again, thank you. I love her, I love her, but yeah, I don't think I could do it again. Because you did a whole podcast, didn't you, with your partner about, Maybe Baby was the podcast, about deciding to have kids or not.

Yeah, we did. We thought it was, we were in quite a unique position really because I never wanted children. And when I met him and we literally met on the night out, we were at an awards ceremony. And I just, he came over to me and tried it on with me and I took him home with me but before we'd even gone on a date

I said, by the way, this isn't going anywhere I don't want kids, I don't want to get married it's just a bit of fun and he was like, calm down love we literally just slept with each other but I needed to lay my cards on the table and let him know and then we got together

So can I ask, what was your kind of reason that you just thought, this isn't for me? I just never, ever wanted children. I can't explain why. From a very young age, it just wasn't for me. I just didn't think I'd ever had them. I didn't have that maternal desire.

I didn't feel like there was anything inside me that felt like a real desire to have children or to be a mother. I wanted a dog, and I got a a dog and then I wanted another dog. I got Broody, got another dog. And I just said to Bodge when I met him, look, it's who I am and I need to lay my cards out on the table because I don't want us to get down the line and you're trying to convince me to do it.

That obviously happened. A few years later, he was like, so what about the kid thing then? Oh, wow. And then three more years followed of really uncomfortable and awkward conversations of me saying, look, I did tell you that night. I know you were pissed and I was drunk, but I did tell you. All right, stop making me feel bad.

And he was like, but you've got to give me a bit of hope. And I was like, but I've told you I don't want kids. In the end, I had one, but I definitely think that Bodge didn't want kids. You're talking about like getting a shot at a pub In the end I bought one I had the idea I know

but there we go I had one What changed your mind on it? There was a few things First of all the podcast did actually open my eyes into what real life

as a parent could be like and everybody we had on the podcast was pro kids championing how great being a parent is and after each episode I'd think

you know what it doesn't sound so bad then I hit 40 and you should have listened to our podcast then I hit 40 I also went to a fertility clinic in one of the episodes of our podcast we just wanted to make sure that we could have children if we decided one day that we would try and I was really cocky I went in going oh your your little swimmers better be going the right direction. And I then was told that I didn't have hardly any eggs left and I shouldn't be putting it on the back burner if I was thinking about it. And I think the thought of, you know, that idea, you know, of it not even being a choice for me anymore, it scared me a little bit.

So I just, I started thinking, well, what if I do want a baby one day and then it's too late and I've run out of eggs? What was that like when they told you? Can I ask this question? How was his swimmers? Were they OK? Strong. Swimming in the right direction.

Strong. Annoyingly strong. A lot of them. Annoyingly strong. Yeah, annoying. He got told first. He was like chest puffing out. He was like, great.

He was so pathetic, wasn't he? I know. He was buzzing. Women never go, I've got loads of eggs. It's about blokes like't it, blokes? He was buzzing. Women never go, I've got loads of eggs. It's about blokes like, yeah, spunk's good. We've had the call, the spunk's good. Don't worry. It was so bizarre, him going into that room, because I knew he was going in to have a wank

and I was like, what is going on? This is so bizarre that you go in and you're sitting in a room where loads of men have done exactly that before you. We've all been to a Premier Inn though, Kate. But he came out and he was like, he was nervous. And I wasn't. And then he got told he had great sperm,

swimming in the right direction, lots of them. And then she said, you've got a lovely womb. Everything internal is great. It sounds like she's trying to chat you up. You've got a lovely womb. Or you've got a nice thick womb lining or whatever it's called. Has anyone ever complimented your fallopian tubes before? Do you know what?

You've got a lovely womb was what he said to you at that awards ceremony on the first night as well, wasn't it? Do you know what? When I had the internal examination, this is too much information, but she said to me, you're super ovulating right now. And I was like, what do you mean? She was like, because most people go to a fertility clinic because they are trying for a baby and it's you know they're on that journey and then it's not nothing's working but she said to me you're super ovulating and i said what does that mean she said two eggs are firing out so twins what you can have twins this

month if you try like what oh my word i went to her if i'm super is this like a one-off and she said people who super ovulate tend to super ovulate a lot so the chance of you having twins and I'm a twin and I said if I do decide to ever have a baby can I come back

and make sure that I'm not super ovulating before we try because the thought of having twins was like my worst nightmare she was like she just looked at me

blank she was so puzzled about the whole thing so yeah the chance to be having twins was super high so I was shitting myself when we did try

because I was thinking oh it would be just my luck to have two when I only want one like one is the compromise here with Bodge and actually I'm really glad we just have one because it's enough and I don't know how people with multiples cope I don't know how my mum coped she had twins when my sister was only two and so she had three under three and also single parents anyway but single parents with multiples I just have so much respect for you all. It's just

the hardest thing. I should point out that I do love my child. I know I sometimes make... I love her to pieces. We all accept that on this show. We may moan, but that's the, you know. Yeah, I love her. We don't actually get people on that hate their kids, you know. We've had a couple where we've suspected, but it's not you yet. We've got Queen

Elizabeth II booked in for next month. Fingers crossed. So, I like the fact you said the second bit of respect for a little feedback uh rob did rob mean the elizabeth the first or second i know the first is dead but it'd be good to have some clarity so then when you had you knew like you were on a kind of time frame or whatever, was it a weird kind of pressure to conceive in that situation? Massively, because we went to see, we went to this fertility clinic in 2019, in like the September, and she said, when are you getting married?

This was after she broke the news to me and I started crying just with the realisation that I might not ever be able to have children. And we said, we're getting married in June 2020. And she said, would it be the worst thing to walk down the aisle pregnant? And I immediately said, yes, yes, I would. Are you joking? I want to get fucked up on my wedding. I want to get drunk. I'm not walking down the aisle pregnant. And she said, well, I just wouldn't put it on the back burner. So I said to Bodge, all right, what we'll do do we'll get married on our honeymoon we will try straight away and then Covid hit and our wedding got cancelled

and I was like Jesus Christ what are we going to do because now we've got to wait another year because I want to have a baby after we get married so then we said Covid hit in March 20 I turned 40 in May and then we were supposed to be getting married in June and I just said literally 3 weeks after my 40th

I said let's try let's just do it and get married next year. And I stupidly thought that we would have a baby and then get married three months later. Oh, wow. That would be an intense. I was like, right, OK, it's now postponed to three months time. We're getting married in June this year. And what's great is that Noah will be at our wedding, a little flower girl. That's gorgeous.

But we tried and we got pregnant straight away. I know exactly the night because I was ovulating because I get pain when I'm ovulating. a little flower go that's gorgeous but we tried and we got pregnant straight away like i know exactly the night because i was ovulating because i get pain when i'm ovulating and i was like jump on board let's go and we got pregnant straight away i was really lucky oh wow do you were then like this is happening this thing i never thought i wanted and you didn't think you could after speaking to the the doctor i mean she did say to me, look, you've got, everything is fine, but you just don't have many eggs left. It doesn't mean you can't get pregnant.

The problem is you're throwing out two at a time, isn't it? That's probably why I never had any eggs left. But no, I was really delighted when I got the positive result because it was, I actually wanted it. I felt like I was ready. I felt like I'd lived enough of my life and had all the fun and just, you know what I mean? I got everything out of my system that I needed to get out

and I was ready to become a mum and be responsible and I loved Bodge and I knew he'd be a great dad so I was really excited but everyone we told thought it was a wind up because I'd been telling everyone for years

it was never going to happen and everyone was like this is for Instagram this is a wind up even my parents they were like you're joking well you're joking

and I was like no really? yeah and everyone thought it was a wind up I think there's so much pressure on having kids in a family which is sort of like the stereotypical route

what people do that I think if you aren't that keen on it it sort of weird becomes like a personality trait almost you're like I'm the one

that doesn't want kids and that becomes a thing when reality is no one's like no one walks around going oh that's the person that doesn't go on theme park rides

it's just a choice of something you do in your life but it can sort of define you as like oh no she doesn't want kids you know did you find that was sort of that was a bit of like you know kate the blonde hair girl doesn't want kids it sort of becomes like a description well bodge always says to me i think you you felt like for so long that you you you was adamant that you never wanted children so you felt like you had a part to play and that you just couldn't change your mind and i was like that's not true but he's adamant that it is uh but i but there were people who you i felt like i was being a bit judged it's like you know when people said to me do you say do you want are you gonna have kids then and i'd say straight up i'd go no not for me thank you

and the question the next question would be but why and i'd say why do you want children i'm looking at people with kids and they just look stressed out. Whenever I see parents with kids out and about, none of them look like they've brushed their hair. They look tired. The kids are crying. I always used to see parents looking really stressed out whenever I was walking the dogs. Because I've got dogs, so I'm in the park at the same time where parents

are taking their kids to the park. And kids love the park. Parents don't love the park. Fact. I've only been to the park a few times. I'm just like, let my daughter have a go on the slide. These kids were on the slide. Fact. I've only been to the park a few times. I'm just like, let my daughter have a go on the slide. These kids were on the slide for so long, I was like, just let her have a go on the slide. I haven't even experienced the park properly because Noah's only one. But I just used to be in the park and I'd see meltdowns and I'd see tired mums and tired dads and stressed parents.

And I'd be like, I'm here with just dogs and I'm really happy. And I said to Bodge, why would we rock the boat by having a child? That was the battle, the internal battle. I loved my life as it was. And I felt complete. And that's another thing you get told if you don't have children and you tell people that you don't want kids. They're like, well, you don't know real love until you've had a child and you don't know, you know, that's what you're here for. It completes you. And I honestly, I felt really fulfilled and I felt like I was complete before Noah came along. I didn't feel like I needed anything else in my life to feel happy or complete. And I think that times are changing now.

You know, women are waiting a bit longer and having careers or just not having kids at all. And I don't think that you need a child in order to have a fulfilled life. But I totally get it now because I've had one and why people say do it. Because it's the most magical thing ever. Are you as tired as you worried you'd be though, Kate?

I'm more tired. Are you as stressed out? Is your hair as bad as you worried it would get? I don't wash my hair as much. It looks all right on the Zoom, by the way. I'm not having a go at the hair, by the way. No, but my hair was so bad. For the first nine months, i was such a greaseball

i didn't i didn't wash my hair i didn't brush my teeth till at least two in the afternoon the first year is hard the first year i found incredibly difficult i've got bad news for you oh don't so the subsequent years so i did a poll the other day on instagram saying have i got over the worst bit because i thought the first year was the worst. And 54% of people said yes, but 46% of people said no, I haven't. And I was shocked because I thought that I had really, that it would be like overwhelmingly, yeah, you've done the hardest bit. Is your daughter walking yet? No, she's lazy.

She does this little janky cool. Yeah, I don't think, yeah, I think I'd say when they're about four or five-ish and they start going to school and you get a bit of time back, that is when it becomes astronomically easier. So yeah, I don't want to bring you down. So we've got another three years. The first year is definitely,

the first year is definitely the most difficult. Thank you, John. Yes, yes. I remember people saying to me, it's difficult, it's just as difficult, but in different ways. And I think that's bullshit. Do you? Because, yeah, the things I deal with now,

I would prefer my daughter who's four to have a freak out because she's got the wrong socks or whatever, you know, or the kind of... Then I'd have her wake up three times and need to be fed in the night. They're not comparable situations. No, the first year is the worst. But I think it's physically more tiring. But as they get older, it's mentally exhausting when they're arguing.

If you've got one, they argue. It's just fucking hard work, Kate. I'm not going to lie to you. That's why I love this podcast, because I feel like you're just so honest about how hard it is, whereas so often you don't see the reality of it. Instagram, social media, it's just a highlights reel of everyone's best bits. But it is so difficult, which is why I was always so honest on Instagram.

I'd be like, this is a bit shit, isn't it? Why didn't anyone tell me how difficult it was? Why did you all say it's the best thing you'll ever do? This is the worst thing I've ever done. These were in the early days when I was at my wits end and I was like, you lied to me, you fuckers.

You lied to me. Don't, like, and I can't tell anyone when they say to me they're pregnant, I have to go, great, this is brilliant news

and I'm sure you're going to have a great time. But inside, I want to tell them how hard it's going to be, but I don't want to scare them because when you're pregnant, you're just excited

and all you're worried about is how massive your areolas have gotten, how, like, many veins you've got popping up all over your body because that's weird as well you get veins you don't understand that but the pregnancy symptoms are that you're just dealing with that what's in front of you and you have no idea what's about to hit you but and then some women honestly just take to it like a duck to water and they find it really easy but i just think it's really harmful for us not to be having these conversations about how difficult it can potentially be and how yes and how awful you can feel and how broken and useless as well and like

not look i'm constantly questioning myself thinking why have i had a child like i shouldn't be a parent i once faked hand and then breast breastfed, and she looked like Homer Simpson the next morning. She got... I just totally... I was in a daze. I wasn't concentrating. And then I breastfed her, and she went to bed, and I'd accidentally given her a fake tan around her mouth. And she woke up with a bloody...

like a goatee beard of tan all over her face, and I couldn't get it off. I was like, what am I? I shouldn't be a mum. And I wasn't concentrating in the bath. The other day, she was in her little bath, and I was on what am I I shouldn't be a mum and I wasn't concentrating in the bath the other day she was in her little bath and I was on my phone I was watching her

I obviously never left the room but I probably was on my phone for a bit too long and I looked up and she'd shit in the bath and it looked like she'd just opened a pack of Maltesers because they were these tiny little brown marble she was playing with her poo she was just sitting there looking like, like, what is this?

And I was like, Bodge, she's pooed in the bath. And I was thinking to myself, I'm so bad. I wasn't focusing. I wasn't concentrating. But I'm sure... No, you're not bad.

It's impossible to be laser focused on everything. And I think people beat themselves up too much, you know. Oh, yeah. You know, one play with your own shit, you soon learn you don't like it i've never known anyone whose parents weren't watching and now every time they have a bath they get have a shit mold it around in their hand and get out i think it's

something you learn for yourself exactly thankfully she didn't eat it yeah i probably sound like i moan too much but i just no no i want to. I want to keep it real. Do you think you have like slight, because you didn't want kids do you have a slight imposter syndrome with it where you think like, because like I think those things you've said, everyone's done well I haven't done the fake tan thing but it would be weird if I had, but like everyone's

got these stories but to you you're like oh I never really, this was never really the thing I was going to do so do you have that kind of feeling towards it? Yeah I think you've hit the nail on the head there. I have massive imposter syndrome about everything I do. So it would make sense for me to have that about being a mum. And I constantly, I feel bad for doing this. But, you know, in the first year especially, not now, I'm finding it a lot easier now.

But I'd say to Bodge, this is why I didn't want children. That was a classic. And I felt really bad because it would make him feel bad. Because he was the one that kept on at me. This is why we shouldn't want children that was a classic and I felt really bad because it would make him feel bad because he was the one that kept on at me this is why we shouldn't have done it and he'd be like it's 3am to hear those words

that's brutal I knew I would find this hard I knew I'd find it hard and he would be like I'm really sorry but like you know and I apologised him for that

but you are when you're both sleep deprived and and you're just you don't know why they're crying and oh it's just it's so difficult so yeah i do think that the imposter syndrome exists as well and and yeah and i just i you always feel inadequate and you always think oh god am i doing the right thing but i imagine and i'll never i'll never know what it's like it's so much easier the second time around because i said to bodge today you just learn on

the job don't you you can read all the, you can go to all the antenatal classes and listen to podcasts. But once you have the baby, you learn what to do, really. Well, I think it's a confidence thing, isn't it? Like, you know, it's like anything, any job in the world. But raising a child is like a mad job, isn't it, basically? Like, you know, it's so difficult to do. So if any job you start and you've never done before, you don't know how to do it until the job progresses, you know. But, yeah, with a second, it's a lot easier. It's tiring because you've got two kids to juggle,

but you're not flapping around them like you were with the first one. I don't know. Am I doing this right? Oh, yeah, everything. Weaning. Oh, that's a fucker. Weaning, you're like, I'm so scared of her choking. I was so scared.

Every time she went red and looked like, you know, she might... I was freaking out with weaning. I found that really difficult as well. I didn't enjoy weaning. You did? You didn't? I didn't. No, first time I hated it. Horrible. Second time you don't feel like every time she says no to a bit of food,

it's the world's biggest disaster. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I do think kids eating a big range of things, such a shit brag. Like, oh, my kid has this, my kid... Who gives a fuck? Just if it's...

You know, most kids are eating too much anyway. Fucking hell, just let them not eat a bit. You know what I mean? It's like, they're like, they have this, they have that. You go, come on, they can't really like that, can they? No. By the time they're four, they're all eating McDonald's chips off the bottom of the car. Like it doesn't really matter i was really like i was big on the whole healthy

eating but now i just if she's crying i just give her a rice cake that's actually really healthy but i give her a crisp you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah but i imagine yeah it is easier the second time around it's a lot of learning on the job and i do feel more confident as a mum now but i just didn't in the beginning that's why i kept talking about it on Instagram because I'd then feel much better hearing from parents who are going through the same thing and then I felt like I was helping others by sort of sharing it like whenever you open the app at three in the morning if you were like feeding you could find an army of women who are in exactly the same position as you whether they were dealing with a baby who was a newborn or a child that had a cold or, you know, that was up

and they, you know, whatever reason it was. And it was just really, really reassuring to know that so many other parents were in the same position as you, couldn't sleep or their child couldn't sleep. And you're like, oh, everyone's going through this. Yeah, we should start a hashtag for that. Maybe anyone listening that is doing that,

the hashtag late night feeds or late night kids or something like that. I used to call it hashtag wide awake club that's what i call it oh do you call it that hashtag wide awake club oh we can well yeah get our listeners to do that hashtag wide awake club and then they can share being awake with the kids so you're not on your own is that why you've kind of come to write the book so you've written maybe baby on the mother's side which is out now and is that kind of book you would have wanted there as an accompaniment for you when you were yeah actually because i think all the books i read when i was pregnant were more

like how to be a parent or how to change a nappy or how to feed a baby and how to do this it was just it was more practical tips and advice rather than how you might cope mentally. And so, yeah, I kind of wish I'd read more books or maybe looked into that more. But I genuinely didn't feel when I was pregnant that I would struggle. I actually, even though I resisted so long to try for a baby, I had such an enjoyable pregnancy that it kind of lulled me into a false sense of security and I thought that I would really enjoy and find motherhood quite easy. I thought, this is not bad.

I'm actually really looking forward to it. And I didn't think because of my personality that I'd be depressed afterwards or that I would just, I'd regret what I did for a while. Did you have the postnatal depression then for a period of time? Yeah, I did. At the time, I didn't think I did.

I just thought thought I've got the baby blues this is what it must be like but then I started therapy and she you know diagnosed me after doing a few questionnaires and asking me uh like a bunch of questions and actually hearing her say that then you know it actually felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders because I knew that it was you know normal and many women and and you know men and carers go through it as well so um yeah but it but it gets better and that's why I wrote the book as well because it's kind of a message of hope that it is like those newborn days are apocalyptic and sometimes you feel like they're never going to end and the worst thing I think I was told and I know

people were saying it from the kindness of their own heart, was just get through the first six months. And I was only two weeks in and I was like... Six months? Are you joking me? Like, I can barely get through the next six hours. I can't... Are you joking? Like, that idea of... I remember being told six weeks was a milestone.

And I was like, that's the fucking... That's the summer holidays, which went on forever when I was a kid and it's nice even so to get to yeah they mean it in a nice way but you're like don't tell me that please don't tell me that just get through the first six months you're looking for them to go get through the first

seven days and then it'll even out and then it'll even out but they mean it nice you know some people are like just get through the first year and you're like please please please be quiet shut up yeah but it is funny as well like as well as you know some people like just get through the first year and you're like please please please be quiet shut up yeah yeah but it but it is funny as well like as well as you know as well as it being an incredibly challenging experience and it is a job i used to laugh at my twin sister because my twin sister she only ever wanted to be a mum she had her kids young and on her back

when before instagram even existed on her facebook profile she was like full-time mum i was like full-time mum you knob you're not a full-time mum. That's not a job. I feel so bad now. That's not a job. You take kids to the park every day. But it is a full-time job. So anyone who's doing parenting and working on the side,

another gig, whatever, like, fair play, because it's so, like, soul-sucking and physically exhausting, but at the same time, beautiful and magical and the most incredible experience. But it is a full-time gig.

Like, you put so much of your soul into parenting. And I never thought, I never realised how much of you went into it. And I never realised just how many hours in the day it takes just to constantly just look after one child. So, yeah, I feel bad for my twin sister calling her a mug for saying that she was a full-time... I feel bad. Sorry, Karen. Being a twin, do you think though,

like if your sister was so into that, was that almost like a bit of a kickback of like, I remember me and my brothers, I'd like something different than they liked for a bit of your own individuality. And we weren't, we were just close together in age, not twins. Do you think that maybe sort of planted the seed slightly?

Perhaps, yeah. I think we were just always very different anyway. Like she was the girly one and I was a little tomboy. I literally lived in the same Umbro tracksuit until I was about 14. I, you know, she was in like little body suits and little mini skirts going through puberty way before me. And I was just like, I was one of the boys. So I felt like there was, we were always very different anyway. And then when she started talking about having kids, I was just like, no.

And then I watched her give birth. Maybe there's some sort of post-traumatic stress from that. Oh wow, you were at the birth. Which is why I, yeah. And then I watched her give birth. Maybe there's some sort of post-traumatic stress from that. Oh, wow, you're at the birth. Which is why I'd, yeah. And I watched this woman, oh my word, she couldn't, the baby wouldn't come out. This was Louis, her first. He was stuck.

And I was like, I'm just going to go and have a look. I didn't think I would, but I'm going to go and have a look. And I was like, the head's there, just push. She was like, I'm pushing, I'm fucking pushing. And then they said, right, they're going to have to use the suction. She was like, no, I don't want a conehead baby, screaming. And I was like, just try, just try, otherwise they're going to have to use the suction she was like no i don't want a conehead baby screaming and i was like then i was like just just try just try otherwise they're gonna have to use the suction of on two is it i saw the whole thing and i was mortified and so is that do

you think in your head maybe i thought i could never do that i had a massive fear of childbirth after that i chose to have um a c-section and i spoke to my doctor before we even tried to have a baby about it, about my fear of childbirth. I said, I just can't. Part of the reason why I didn't want to try for a baby was because I was scared of giving birth out of my tuppence.

So I said, look, can I ask to have a baby out of my tummy? Is that, can I, are we allowed to do that in this country? And he said, yeah, if you have legitimate fear

of having a child, it's called tocophobia, and we can talk to obstetricians about it. And so I had loads of conversations with my GP and obstetricians before we tried. And then I found out that I could have the birth I wanted, which is so important, I think, for a state in age.

Even if you want a home birth, I think it's great that we're able to, you know, have the births we want. And I think you've got to be strong because they will try and convince you to go a different way. And it's hard when you're hormonal and tired and not sleeping with pregnancy.

But I think we felt that, me and Lou, when they will try and push you down a path. So you've got to be quite strong, haven't you? And maybe take someone with you in those doctor's meetings to fight your colon, I think helps. She definitely did try. She said, well, let me just tell you about the pros and cons with C-section. I was like, you can also go through the pros and cons of a vag birth as well if you're doing that. Yeah, you should have just done the scissors sign. I know the cons.

So how many of you were in there for your sister's labour? Just me and my sister and our partner. Who does the flyer in for that gig? Sounds like it's pretty packed out. Could do them for the talk. And also my mum, I should point out, she's got four kids, all of which were born via C-section as well. And with my big sister, Kelly, who, by the way,

used to cut your hair, Rob. Do you remember? Oh, yeah, she did cut my hair. I still go to that barber's. Charlotte does it now. Yeah, I'm not surprised you got rid of Kelly. Miller's. Didn't want Kelly to cut it anymore.

She's shit. Don't worry about it. I wouldn't let her cut my hair. I mean, this is very awkward now. Yes, Kate Lawler's sister did cut my hair once and never again. But I don't think we need to look into that. But she's not regular in that bar. Paul Sweeney used to do it, but he's up in Clerkenwell,

so I go near my house. Also, your sister only went in there on a one-off now and again to El Pau. That's not a regular gig. She does, like, make-up, doesn't she? Yeah, you know a lot about her. Wow. Well, yeah, I did, yeah.

I went home and I fucking looked her up after the shit haircut she gave me. I'm not joking. Oh, my goodness. No, she gave me an all right haircut, but I would say Charlotte doesn't. I'll pass the message on. This is stressful. Okay, right, if we're going to do this,

didn't you try and fight Jermaine Jenis once in a nightclub with Jonathan Woodgate there? What? Do you know who met Jermaine Jenis in a nightclub? Apparently, you had a row with him in a nightclub when you were there and Jonathan Woodgate was there. We just interviewed him and we said, we're going to go and interview Kate Lawler.

And he said, oh, tell her about this. What? That just goes to show how drunk I used to get. Because I don't remember that. You forgot that. I had an argument with him. With Jermaine Jenis, yeah. You was at Jonathan Woodgate, somewhere in Malaga, was it?

Or somewhere in Spain? Ibiza. Ibiza. Actually, he used to live in Madrid. So we would have been in Madrid, maybe, because I lived in Madrid for a little while with Woody. But JJ I met a few times, and we always got on really well. Did he not tell you what it was about?

No, we ran out of time. This is why we're late. But it's actually, it's really got me off the haircut stuff, so I'm loving it. Rob, you've just absolutely moved the conversation. I feel like a politician being sent out by a Boris. Yeah, you've done the best. On that, as you say, you said, I've had enough fun.

I had loads of great times going out and stuff. Have you gone out? Have you completely changed your lifestyle? Have you gone out on the lash since having a baby? Yes, but I haven't got Lawler drunk, which is what I used to get. My life has changed so much. But even before I had Noah, I'd calm down a lot. In my 20s, they...

Oh, God, that was such a hedonistic, wild time. Because I'd one big brother in 2002. Can you believe that was 20 years ago? Oh, Jesus. God, I'm so old. And then I went and learnt to DJ. So I was just travelling the world. And when you're a DJ, the lifestyle is just,

you're going to a nightclub every single evening and they're plowing you with booze. And then there's after parties and you don't sleep. I mean, I had all the fun and I don't regret a single thing. I had a great time in my 20s. But even by the time I was 30, I thought, I need to stop or I'm going to kill myself. I need to stop.

I was so dangerously close to just becoming, I reckon I was close to becoming an alcoholic. I've got to kill myself. I need to stop. I was so dangerously close to just becoming, I reckon I was close to becoming an alcoholic. I've got to have been because I was drinking so much and I was just hanging out with a lot of, I was hanging out with people who were lovely, but they were also heavily into drugs. And so I was just being like, I was in the wrong crowd, but I had a good time and I got it all out of my system.

And I was single for a lot of my 20s as well. So I also had all the fun there um but I felt like in my 30s I was like let's get a dog let's try and settle down so I felt like I was in my 30s I sort of started to settle down and in my 40s now I can't even have a glass of wine without getting a headache the next day I went out the other night and had two glasses of champagne I was pissed I was come home drunk that's what happened mum drunk yeah I was I went I was literally in five guys having a go at Mum drunk. Yeah, I was. I was literally in Five Guys having a go at the guy because I ordered a burger and he was like,

12 minutes, then I asked him how long and he was like, 12 minutes. I was like, you said 12 minutes, 12 minutes ago. So I left my burger

in Five Guys. I gave someone my receipt. I was like, have it. I'm going home for a cheese toastie. But I was so drunk after two glasses of champagne

I had to go and get some greasy food to soak it up. So I don't get, I don't get lashed anymore. But I will do on my wedding night. I think that's a cause for celebration. When's the wedding? Is that soon?

In three months. And what's the childcare situation for the wedding? We've got a nanny from 12pm on the day of the wedding till 12pm the next day. Oh, yes. We've decided that will be the best spend of our money. Yeah, great idea. Do you know what? We want to enjoy it.

And also the nanny, we have her once a week and she knows Noah so she can look after her and if she's screaming during the ceremony then none of the family have to take her out and miss it. Do you know what I mean? And she can go to sleep at normal time, wake up normal time, we can be a bit

drunk and hungover. Oh, that's lovely. It's lovely, isn't it? Yeah, that's good. But do you think we're mad? We're taking Noah and the dogs on honeymoon with us. The dogs? Where's the honeymoon? Where are you going? We're not flying anywhere. All right, all right.

All right, okay. We're going to France. Fair enough. What do you think? I think that's, no, I think that's really nice. It depends on the holiday. If you're getting like a big country cottage place where there's loads of room, fine.

But if you're going, you know, to a, you know, a bed, to like a hotel room, just with a cot next to the bed, it could be a bit heavy going with two dogs. Yeah, that's what we're doing. Oh, Rob. Really? Rob. Look, you wanted honesty, you got honesty.

I wouldn't take two dogs on honeymoon. No, really. Can't you get, can't you take, why can't the dogs go to a, do they ever go to a balding place? No, they're coming with us. They're our kids. Oh, I'll fuck my dog off to a boarding place. What do you mean a boarding...

Wait a minute. What do you mean a boarding place? A friend? So it's... Eater. No, it's a dog... It's this place where they do daycare for dogs, but also they've got...

Kennels. ...rooms where they can sleep. Kennels, kennels, that's it. Boarding kennels. And then it stays overnight. And then in the day, it runs around the grounds of all the other dogs. Please give your dog to me next time you go on holiday.

Why? No, you don't need another dog. No, it's good for a dog. They get confident. They become their own dog. Why are you making it up? They become their own dog. That's the worst excuse I've ever heard in my life. They love other dogs. It's good. They do love other dogs but I don't know if I like the idea of them staying in a

kennel because they are in that kennel for a lot longer than they would be at your house so it's not really home from home for them Rob keeps his dog locked up 23 hours a day It's like a room, they've got a room that's got like a sofa on it So it's got like an old armchair that they sit on and then at night they get put in their little crate

Is your dog in a crate or just in the house? No he's on our bed Yeah I knew I could have answered that straight away. That dog's on her bed 100%. Mine's in the fucking crate slash cage. Rebranded. It's a cage, but they call it a crate,

so it doesn't sound harsh. You always do it at the beginning. Rob, give it a couple of years, your dog will be sleeping in between you both. No way. I can't do it. I can't do it. My partner said,

Baxter is never coming on the bed, by the way. He's never sleeping in our bedroom. And now, Shirley, our rescue dog, she sleeps in between us and Baxter's on the end of the bed

in his bed. And he was, at the beginning, he was like, no way. Well, do you know what? I'd be interested in your take on this.

So, our cat started sleeping on the bed, which I think is fine. It's a cat. Lovely. Yeah, the cat's outside. Fuck that.

And now, the last couple of nights the cat has been sleeping Rose is sleeping on her front the cat is on her back and then no way when

when my son has started crying and needed a dummy replacement Rose is like you've got to go because the cat's on my back and I'm like no you can't use that

you can't use that that's not it that is a no that's you don't want to wake the cat yeah you don't want to wake the cat. Yeah, you don't want to wake the cat as well. Get out of bed, Josh, and go and give... Get out of bed and go and give the dog.

That is a legitimate reason. You can't wake the cat up. Also, it's better that you just go rather than have two people like the cat and your missus go. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, she's got a... Good point. I think that's right.

You don't want to wake the cat up. Do you feel like you have more feelings towards animals than humans, Kate? 100%. When did you ever meet an animal that was a prick? No, humans are pricks, aren't they? Animals want nothing but love. And they don't judge you. And they're not rude.

What about foxes? I mean, Shirley. There's currently a fox living on our shed. And Shirley's running up the shed. Up it. She runs up the shed. She can get six foot high. She can't quite get on top of it

to kill, she wants to kill this fox. She hates it. But nothing but love. And he's pooing all over her. But nothing but love. Nothing but love. Nothing but love.

She's trying to protect us. No bricks in there. That's what it is. She's like, no, don't get near her. How was it bringing the baby home with the dogs then? Obviously because the dogs

are used to getting all the affection and stuff like that. Were they fine with it? Yeah. Was it a bit awkward at the start it was the most underwhelming experience i was really looking forward to it i thought we'd bring noah in and they would like be sniffing her and being like wow what is this little being you've just brought in

and they walked over we put her down in a car seat we had a little net over her just so they couldn't get too close and um they just they just walked over i took one sniff and then just went like walked out of the room and they just was not. I took one sniff and then just went, like I walked out of the room and they just was not interested. And I was filming the whole thing. I thought it'd be really emotional. Let's replay that from 90 seconds ago. Since you said nothing but love,

it's tried to kill a fox and not been interested in a baby. No, that was the first day. But then Baxter, bless his heart, he just like stayed by her crib and stayed by the bed. They are best mates now. And Shirley's still too busy on Paw Patrol.

She's too interested in looking out the garden, seeing what she can kill. But Baxter and Noah are best mates, and the relationship between them is beautiful. And I just love it. And I knew that he would be interested in her and wanting to play. He drops his ball in front of her now,

and she throws it. It's just gorgeous. It's so wholesome. I love it. And I wish Shirley was a bit more interested in her, wanting to play he drops his ball in front of her now and she throws it it's just gorgeous it's so wholesome I love it and I wish Shirley was a bit more interested in her but she's not

you've got your dogs on the cover of the book Maybe Baby on the mother's side it's a great front cover that yeah that was taken in my bedroom they were like

we're not going to do a photo shoot I was gutted I thought I was going to have a day off and go to like some studio get my hair and makeup

done can you just like be you in your pyjamas and just show a clip of you being a mum at home? It's brilliant. I think it's great. That was talking about a professional photographer there, right? No, my mate took it.

No. That is a great pic. I just put the play mat upstairs, I sat down, fed Noah her milk, and then the dogs were just sitting next to... I had Bodge stood next to the camera with some treats, shaking the treats so that the dogs would look at the camera. It's amazing.

It took five minutes. Do you think that picture sums up your life at this moment? It definitely sums up my life. I summed up the first year of parenthood for me because I lived in my pyjamas. I didn't brush my hair. I hardly brushed my teeth. And I was just...

It's just your child, especially if you're breast it's just, you are, your child is, especially if you're breastfeeding as well, you are glued to your child or you're glued to a pumping machine. And you just, I rarely left the house. So I thought, in the end, I thought it was quite a good idea, a nice idea to have a photo taken at home with the dogs and Noah, because it's basically what my first year of motherhood was like. I just, I want to point out that I do love Noah.

I know I moan about being a mother. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, of course we know that. But you know when people are like, I've seen the Daily Mail comments, is she still moaning about her child? Oh God, don't look at the Daily Mail comments, guys. Are you still fucking moaning about celebrities? You should write that underneath, you silly

bored fucks. Kate as well, you're super into your exercise and stuff like that. How stressful was that? You seem to always find that smoothie that exploded in your kitchen still cracks me up you put on instagram but like you're always into your health and fitness and stuff how difficult was it your body changing being pregnant and then having the baby and stuff or did you find it difficult not being able to train as much or did you carry on right up until do you know what i found pregnancy a really

nice excuse not to go to the gym i was like like, I'm pregnant. I can't be bothered. I can't be asked. And I loved not exercising when I was pregnant. I just walked the dogs every day. That was, I mean, that's the exercise, right? I just did an hour walk. So I didn't need to go. I didn't feel like I needed to do pregnancy yoga or just carry on.

Like, you know, I saw some women, some woman teaching an aerobics class and she was nine months pregnant. She was about to drop and she was teaching a class. But, excuse me, I really enjoyed not exercising through pregnancy and i had a c-section so you can't exercise for the first six to eight weeks and i made a point of not exercising for the first 12 i was too scared that the incision would open back up but um um i i rarely exercise now i just i don't have time um but but it's not something i've learned to accept that i'm just not going to have as much time and at least to get out

to walk the dogs so that's alright yeah I think if you walk an hour every day you don't need to do if you're watching what you eat you don't really need

to do much more I don't think no exactly if you walk an hour every day unless you want to be absolutely ripped like me and buffed to shit I do

what do you do we've got slightly older kids so we're both what don't I do what don't I do Kate that's the answer no it's um yeah exercise it is important to me like i do like keeping fit and trim and i've got a personal trainer now i'm three weeks in for to get wedding fit because i want

wedding dress um so yeah okay i normally finish on one question but i'm sure josh do you want to ask a big brother question before i've only got one Big Brother question okay do a couple are you a fan of the show Josh what I was Big Brother 3 that was my favourite series

was it your favourite series suddenly you thought at me that I'm suddenly it was a good series it was Alex Sibley wasn't it Alex Sibley Johnny the Fireman

PJ do you remember Sandy Pissed in the Bin that was that series wasn't it yep Sandy Pissed in the Bin. Sandy pissed in the bin. That was that series, wasn't it? Yep, Sandy pissed in the bin before he jumped over the wall, and we didn't even know. And the next morning, I came out and emptied the bins, and I was like, oh, this bin's leaking.

And I was walking all through it, and then Davina McCall showed me the clip when I left the house the night before, and I was like, dirty bastard. Did you enjoy being in it? Was it a fun experience? Loved it. Basically, I didn't go uni,

and I felt like I'd been to uni when I came out of Big Brother. I was like, I reckon that's what uni must have been like. I ate shit, not literally, but I ate whatever I wanted, and I put on loads of weight, and I drank cider. I didn't even know what cider was until I went into Big Brother, because when we were doing the shopping budget, I was like, let's get vodka, and they were like, whoa, hold up, we could get this many bottles of cider

for that one bottle of vodka, so we're going to do that. And I was like like what's cider? Yeah shopping budget and I just got drunk every day and played stupid games I mean like what's, I had the best time we just got, we got drunk, we played stupid games, the challenges were always a lot of fun

every eviction night was like a pantomime and it was, you know you could hear it was such a vintage, it was a national obsession back then so you could hear the crowd It was a huge year. Yeah, we had no idea, we thought, we were still very much like oh is it going to be big, are people going to watch it? I mean the hype before we went in was real so we knew

it was going to be big but it was just the most amazing experience to be part of I couldn't deal with the eviction and the voting and all that kind of stuff. Couldn't you? You're a sensitive soul. I'm quite a weak human being, Kate. No, not weak, sensitive.

Sensitive, yeah. You're not weak, you're sensitive. You're sensitive, whereas Rob, I imagine, would come out and be like, I voted for you and you. I'll let you tell them. Why are we doing this in the dining room? Let's just sit around and be honest with each other. Let's have a piss in the bin, come on.

No, to be fair, though, I think I would have been, now I'd be like that. But if I went in there when I was 21, 22, I'd been a lamb to the slaughter. I'd been so nervous and stressed. So to do it at that age is remarkable because you don't know who you are at that stage. No, and at that age,

didn't you think when you were 21, 22 that you were old? You always felt grown up. Yeah, and you knew everything. But I look back now and realise I was so young and I didn't know anything. And I walked in going, I'm not going to be bothered about nominations or evictions. I'm just going to just nominate.

It doesn't matter. And then when you nominate, worse when someone nominates you, it's like someone's punched you in the stomach. You're like, what the fuck did I do? Why are you nominating me when he's a prick? And you really take it personally. You take it so personally that you've been nominated.

And being up for eviction is just palm sweating. You're like, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. It's going to be me. So when you, I mean, I never experienced the eviction thing because I won, but I was always like, it's going to be me. It's going to be me. What was your prize? What did you win? What was the money? £70,000. Whoa. Nice. No wonder you was on the smash for 15 years.

They stood all up the wall. Oh yeah, I did. I really did. on the smash for 15 years. Fisted all up the wall. Yeah, I did. I really did. I was in such bad debt when I met my fiancé. What was the most stupid thing you spent it on? What was the most ridiculous purchase? I'm trying to think. What was the most ridiculous thing I spent it on?

I mean, I just used to go out with all my mates and just buy bottles of alcohol for everybody and go on holidays. And I used to buy designer bags. I look back now and I'm just such a chav. I would be like, I'd get papped and I'd have this designer bag, but I was still from Bromley in Kent. So I basically, there was no style. I had no style.

I was a townie girl. I didn't live in London. I was just this townie girl with no sense of style. And I just used to wear the most hideous clothes, like my eviction outfit. But then I'd have this designer handbag because I had one big brother and I just used to wear the most hideous clothes like my eviction outfit but then I'd have this designer handbag because I had one big brother and I had 70 grand in the bank and it was just I looked like such an idiot um so I yeah a lot of it was on clothes and alcohol but I had a

good time and when I met my fiance he was like you're in how much debt and I was like well I had a good time though and he was like how many credit cards have you got and i was like yeah it's been a wild five years oh wow it's so easy to do though but my dad made me put all that money into a property so i put all of the money i won into a flat as a deposit so i could get on the property ladder in beckenham oh that's good and that money's still invested it was just all the money i earned afterwards that i pissed up the walk but there we go i had a good time doing it what it's hell of it's a hell of a life story we've got. You're thrown in, though, at 22, right?

22, you're just thrown into the spotlight. You go in. I went in. I was working in an IT, in an investment bank. And I went in, like, just in IT, help desk. I went in anonymous. And then I came out and I went to my dad. Oh, my boss has held my position open.

I can go back. And he was like, no, you can't. You can't just go back and work in a bank. Because, like, everyone knows who you go back. And he was like, no, you can't. You can't just go back and work in a bank because like everyone knows who you are now. And I was like, do they? Because you're not aware that you're on TV.

You know, like the shows you do, you have, you've had live audiences and people know, you know, they're aware of who you are, but you're just living in a house for nine weeks

with your mates having a laugh. But you, and there's cameras everywhere, but you have no idea who's watching. And you couldn't do anything with it at that stage it was just a few TV channels and then if you got

your own show off the back of that you could set up your own podcast easily or your own Patreon or I'm doing these things or YouTube channel it's very much like it was at the mercy of agents, managers and producers and stuff and your success back then was defined

by how many TV appearances you got afterwards or how much you were on telly. Because that was it, TV or radio. And I, yeah, the TV offers were there initially and then they just kind of dry up when the next series starts and you're like, oh shit, no one's interested in me anymore. But you've done really well. Like in terms of, if you look at the amount of people

that went into Big Brother, you've got, you're one of the you look at the amount of people that went into Big Brother you've got you're one of the most kind of successful and visible people I think our series was a very successful

series when you look at you know Alison as well Alison yeah and Jade obviously did very well before she passed so it was a

successful year and Adele Adele is on Adele has done so well yeah she's done great yeah she's brilliant

her songs are great no I'm joking she's on the radio she's on Radio 1 isn't she's brilliant. Her songs are great. No, I'm joking. She's on the radio. She's on Radio 1, isn't she? But you're also on Virgin Radio as well if people want to listen to you during the week, aren't you? And it's four till seven, is that right? Yeah, I do the drive-thru show.

That was a bold... Imagine that. Yeah, she had been replaced last week. Okay. You're still there. God, I took a chance there. Fuck. You did.

You did take a chance. Kate, thanks so much. Oh, the one last question is, is there one thing your partner does parenting-wise that annoys you that if he was listening to now, he'd go, yeah, fair enough, that is a bit annoying. Something you disagree on with how you raise your baby. Where do I start?

Everything he does. One main one. I'm joking. I'm joking. No, he's great. He's the best dad ever. He is so hands-on. He does so much for Noah and me.

But the one thing that he does that annoys me, it shouldn't annoy me. It really shouldn't bother me, this. And you'll be like, what? But he always changes her nappy too often. I'm not saying let her sit in her own shit for two hours. I'm not saying that. Save that for the bath.

He always smells her and goes, she's done a nappy. It doesn't matter if you smell her and she smells a little bit pissy. That's what nappies are for. They absorb the water. Yes. But he's always like, she's done a nappy. I'm like, it doesn't matter if you smell her and she smells a little bit pissy. That's what nappies are for. They absorb the water. Yes. But he's always like, she needs a nappy change. I'm like, she doesn't. She doesn't need a nappy change. They're very expensive and they're bad for the environment. She could probably go another couple of hours in that

nappy. It shouldn't annoy me. Sorry, Butch. That's what parenting is. Little things that annoy you. Someone who has a cat on their back and considers that's a reason why they can't go and put a dummy back in. That kind of thing. You know, your partner,

you know, your fiance, making sure your child isn't covered in piss or shit is annoying. I know what you mean. It's terrible. You look so bad saying that. I'm messing, I'm messing. I don't know what you mean.

It is a waste of money and it is something else going landfill, isn't it? Kate, thank you so much for being on the show. It's been an absolute pleasure, Kate. Thanks so much. Thanks for having me, guys. 17th for having me guys the book the book's out 17th of march maybe baby from the mother side and yeah definitely get it and enjoy it good luck with it kate cheers love the podcast thanks for having me thank you thanks so much kate lawland i really enjoyed that josh yes she's great i think she's brilliant she's so good and also that's so funny about the homer simpson fake tan now for the kid and she was just like

knocking it out i was like i could get five minutes out of that don't just yeah she's just throw away bits that was so funny it's cracking me up how honest she was which is really important i think we're like just being honest with night sometimes not enjoying it but then absolutely loving it because i think you can feel really uh guilty if you're not enjoying it every second of every day um dogs on honeymoon absolutely not not for me um don't take that no offense kate sister but you will never be touching my hair ever again um and uh it's gonna be very awkward for me next time I get my hair cut now you know what I'm having to do here oh dear anyway Josh, Kate Love, absolutely brilliant

and we'll be back on Tuesday with another episode see you then