Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP2: No bath since Brexit...

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

S04 EP2: No bath since Brexit...More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Thanks to everyone who bought tickets for the live shows in January - both the Hackney date and the warm up shows sold out in minutes! If you want to be first in line for any potential future live dates, merchandise, and any additional show info then sign up to the mailing list here;parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavourful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelised onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,

which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with rob beckett and josh widdicombe the recording is my three-year-old daughter aurora who spends most of her time terrorizing

her one-year-old brother miles okay right just from east sounding a bit east it's felt spelt east london e like but not like actual east london like metropolitan elite yeah the bit i live in the bit you live in your little crew where you rename places to make it sound more expensive stuff like that um yeah so i'll say that area can i can i is that am i correct p. Okay, not far away. What a game. What a game. Have you ever got one? Have you ever got one? No, of course it's impossible.

Where is a three-year-old from is a very tough game. Yeah, but I think they moved out for more space. Yeah, of course. Peterborough, you can get space. Lincoln. See what you can get in Lincoln. Yeah. If you move out of London to Lincoln,

Lincoln's, you get a surprise. There's a lot of land in Lincoln. The thing is, Rob, you can get in Lincoln. If you move out of London to Lincoln, Lincoln's, you get a surprise. There's a lot of land in Lincoln. The thing is, Rob, you always guess East London. Whoever it is, you always guess East London. And then when it's not East London, you always say, well, I bet they used to live in East London. That's how this game plays out. It's too hard.

The game's too hard, but I will not be defeated. Well, I have been defeated. I will continue to be defeated. If you are east london do send in a voice memo and then see if he gets it because he will be guessing it's probably a east london area and then i always go and north and west sort of there but anyway it's too hard it was a good effort though miles well done an aurora yeah isn't aurora the sleeping beauty princess? I don't know. Oh, come on, mate. You've got to get your princesses right.

First rule of parenting. Yeah. Is that the first rule of parenting? It's certainly up there. Just feed them is the main one, isn't it? Which we forgot to do first night in the hospital. Anyway, Josh, how are you? Sorry, I'm babbling on here.

We're babbling on. What a week. What a week. Wow. Let me tell you about... January's shit, isn't it? Yeah. January is shit. Oh, it's so shit. I've got three things to tell you about... January's shit, innit? Yeah. January is shit.

Oh, it's so shit. I've got three things to tell you about. One, great. Okay. So I'll hold that back. You don't want that at this moment. No. Okay.

So that's a good positive story. Yeah, two negative stories. Do you want the negative story about Graham Norton on my phone? Graham Norton first, please. Let's sprinkle a bit of stardust here. Yeah. Well, okay. So you might remember, I think it was the day we recorded last week, I was off to do Graham Norton first please let's sprinkle a bit of stardust here yeah well okay so you might remember

I think it was the day we recorded last week I was off to do Graham Norton yep first piece of work of the year exciting obviously

it's always exciting to do Graham Norton I'd say it's arguably the most exciting show you can do on British TV yep oh I don't know

what most exciting show well Strictly's got to be the most exciting show isn't it wow the closest you get that's the only show I've ever done where I's got to be the most exciting show, isn't it? Wow. The closest you get, that's the only show I've ever done where I could say to someone, good luck at the Oscars.

And as I said it out loud, I was like, what the fuck have you become, Rob? How are you in a position to say that? Who did you say it to? Saoirse Ronan. Saoirse Ronan. It's one of those Irish names that are really difficult to say. I'd get panicked.

I've done it wrong in case I'm being offensive. And was there an Oscar win? I don't think so. No. No. I don't know. I don't really keep up with the Oscars. No.

So I've done Graham Norton before. And I did it a few times. And what became a bit that's followed me around is, I don't know if you're aware, that I was once on it, and Mark Ruffalo accused me of being a pa pedophile rob yes was it proven no it wasn't proven rob so mark ruffalo accused you a bit of basically i've been on graham norton three times and all that anyone ever remembers is that mark ruffalo called me a pedophile that's all i've got out of it yeah i mean yeah i mean that is the headline isn't it really yeah that was the headline

so anyway i saw i saw a clip the other day and it was um johnny depp and ricky gervais like I've got out of it so far. Yeah, I mean, that is the headline, isn't it, really? Yeah, that was the headline. So anyway. Because I saw a clip the other day and it was Johnny Depp and Ricky Gervais having loads of banter and Ed Byrne was on there and all I could think was, I bet Ed Byrne

would be desperate to be called a pedo to be brought into this chat. Do you know what I mean? When the big stars are chatting, you want to be involved. That's the key. When you're on, like,

just a British comic, on there with megastars, you need them to rip you apart and you need to give them something. I think Greg Davies did a story about shitting himself in front of someone like Jennifer Lawrence or whatever. You need something. So you being a pedo, perfect.

Me and Ruffalo together forever now. We'll always be linked, me and Ruffalo. Hi, I'm the British pedo guy, Mark. Yeah, exactly. What's happening? If you see him out and about. You know, I don't want it to become my thing, but let's park it.

It's a good thing to happen, right? Anyway. So I'm doing Graham Norton this time. Ideally, just get through it. Don't be called a pedo, right? Get there. First job of the year. I've been dieting for five days, Rob, to fit into my suit.

I do fit into my suit. Lovely. I arrive. As you might know, it's quite a late call time to get to Graham Norton because people on it are so famous, they won't hang around. Whereas when we do like,

when we used to do Mock the Week, we had to get there at midday. Yeah, exactly. Like seven hours before we did anything. Graham Norton's very much like, well, the show starts at seven. Denzel Washington's getting here at quarter past. Yeah.

So, yeah, maybe get here about half six yeah yeah exactly so I get there quarter to six and uh it's starting at seven get there in the car realize I've forgotten my fucking suit oh no what have you got shoes oh yeah I've got my shoes I've got my shoes because they were in my rucksack but I haven't got my suit because that was in my suit bag Okay so you're just wearing jeans and a t-shirt normal Josh Riddick you know, pedo off-duty outfit An old sweatshirt with a picture of Snoopy on it Right?

Kids TV? Okay, not ideal is it for the Ruffalo pedo accusations I've got a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile and I'm ready for Graham Norton I've got my van full of smile and I'm ready for Graham Norton. I've got my van full of puppies and I'm ready to go. Right.

So I turn up and I go, I've had a bit of an error. I've forgotten my suit. Could someone, could we get it couriered over? There's enough time. Yeah, but that is quite far because it's filmed in West London. You're in East London. That could be at 45 minutes to an hour each way. Yeah, but I'm like, they're like, it's fine.

We've got enough time. And then the wardrobe woman comes in and she goes, we should get your suit in time. Don't worry. But just in case. Oh, no. Do you want to try on one of Graham's suits? Ooh.

Yeah. I'd get one of his furry, jazzy ones when he was on Channel 4. Well, I didn't get to specify. I didn't get to specify from his career. I didn't say from his career. She didn't bring out a rail and go, what year would you like? So I tried on Graham's suits.

I am a small man, Rob. You don't imagine Graham Norton being big, do you? Is Graham Norton bigger than you? Yeah. Graham Norton? How? He's a towering 5'9". A towering five foot nine. A towering five foot nine.

What a beast. Yeah. Oh, my God. Not a big, powerful monster of a man in that chair. Honestly, I look like I was an American footballer. Oh, you're like Joan Collins in the 80s. Yeah, exactly. And I said, well, it'd be quite funny if I wore this. Like, how would we explain the situation

yeah because you could literally say I've come in Graham's trousers oh lovely Rob lovely that's a great line for the show innit exactly

and everyone's like say what Denzel's like hey what did that pedo just say and you're like no I'm just like joking guys let's not try and push that

as a riff Rob anyway okay sorry yeah okay remember Denzel's over Zoom as well so it'd be unbelievable if he... Alright, mate, your best mate Denzel. Oh, Denny. Denny boy. Did have a bit of banter with Denzel

over Zoom. I'm not going to lie to you. Did you? What did you banter about? I said, well, I went to see Training Day when I was a student. Yeah. When I got to the cinema the first half hour, the sound didn't work. So it was just the pictures and everyone was like kicking off and then eventually they got the sound to work but they, because of the schedule, they didn't work. So it was just the pictures. And everyone's like kicking off. And then eventually they've got the sound to work.

But because of the schedule, they didn't take it to the back, to the start of the film. So we just watched the last hour with the sound, but we didn't know what was going on because we hadn't seen the first half hour. Okay. So I explained this to Denzel. And then I said, so my question I've always wanted to ask you

is what happens in the first half hour of training day? And we had a lovely laugh over it, Rob. We had a lovely laugh. Do you know what? It didn't happen, Rob. He didn't call me a pedo. No, and that's what you want. You just had a lovely laugh with Denzel Washington on Zoom.

Exactly, exactly. And in what clothes are you in at this point? Because Graham, big boy Graham's clothes are too big. Yeah, so she wouldn't let me wear Graham's suit because I think, and fair enough, I think it would have undermined her job. By the way, when this happened, she said to me, don't worry, this happens all the time. And I said, oh, right. Has it happened before?

And she said, never in 26 years in the job. So I was the first person ever to forget my suit. You're changing the game. Yeah. You're changing the game. Anyway, she had to run over to Westfield. Yeah. There was one suit left in Next,

which fitted me. In your size? In my size. Was it in boys' base? Unbelievable. Do you know what, mate? Do you know that as a reference,

that boys' base? Or is that a bit of a South East London thing? Base. Remember the shop base? Well, I understand. I understand what you're saying, right?

Like, it's small, right? They sell, like, tiny little mom fur coats for, like, 200 quid for a two-year-old. I presumed that it was small clothes. Should have gone mother care. Yeah.

Like, I don't want to break it down, but I'm disappointed with that. I should have gone, where's a... Well, exactly. But the thing is, Rob, you do remember, in your mind, everyone who listens to this is from East London. We've established that already. Yes, of course. Yeah, they're all my reference points. Did I go to Percy Ingle Bakers? listen to this is from east london we've established that already yes of course yeah

that there are my reference points i'll say purse did i go to percy ingall bakers anyway sorry go on so you she got your suit i went what did she get you from next oh that's not too bad was it next it's sort of like 80 quid for the whole suit rob yeah that's suspiciously cheap the cheapest suit i've ever had was 25 pounds from asda george and as i walked in it i was the suit was louder than me because of the static i thought i thought i was gonna start a fire downstairs but what was the 80 quidder from next door like mate the static was fucking incredible i've never experienced static like it. It was something else. Like the hairs were standing on end on my arm.

And I went... I'm blaming the suit, Rob. I went red. I turned red. And I was sat in... Did you get an allergic reaction to the suit? I don't know what was going on. I was sat in the makeup going,

I've never gone this red before a shot. I mean, it had been a stressful hour. Yeah, I know. But she was having to coke me in makeup because I never gone this red before a shot. I mean, it had been a stressful hour. Yeah, I know. But she was having to coke me in makeup because I'd gone so red from the static of the suit. That is very cheap. It's very cheap. It's quite a cheap suit, isn't it? 80 quid.

Yeah. I mean, luckily, you know, it was just a blue suit and I was sat down, so it was fine. Yeah. I got to wear one of Graham's ties. That was nice. On Moss Bros, just looking now, you're looking you're looking it's about I'd say a suit normally minimum 100 quid

absolute minimum isn't it you're looking for two it's a top and a bottom isn't it she said afterwards do you want to keep the suit I said I'm okay

thank you very much you don't I don't think you'll be reminded of that do you no but now they've got an emergency suit if you know

the kids from Stranger Things come back on do you know what I mean they turn up or you know Harry Potter comes out again Radcliffe's there get it on

get it out there kids you are where Daniel Radcliffe's now grown up he's still little do you know I think I heard a rumour that he always goes on tiptoes for a photo

did you yeah I don't know if that's true or not he's only like 5 foot 5 but we can ask him has he got kids don't know don't know don't know all I remember he's got his five foot five but we can ask him has he got kids uh don't know

don't know don't know um I don't remember he's got his dick out after Harry Potter what are you doing there after something that's been

a big a big like mainstream they always go and do something mad and arty don't they like I'll just get my dick out on stage of a horse

that'll sort it out I'll be honest with you Rob this has gone well this podcast but not well enough for me to get my dick out. No, no. Also, if you Google Daniel Radcliffe tiptoes,

you'd get sort of weird... Thank God you said tiptoes, because I was worried you were doing a very different Google then. Weird people that are into, like, your feet. You know, because people are into feet, aren't they? Yeah, I had a guy that was trying to get a photo of my feet for a while. He kept applying to charity on Twitter, and I didn't...

And then I thought, wait a minute, what charity wants a photo of my feet? He watched you with Mark Ruffalo and thought he'll be alright with this. Oh, well that takes,

right, so then I get on the show. So go on. All fine in the next suit. It's all going lovely. Ten minutes in and then Nina Sasanya's on who's the voice

of Moon and Me, Rob. Oh yes, you like that, don't you? Yeah, and I start talking about how good Moon and Me is. You're not going to fucking believe this, Rob. You like that, don't you? Yeah, and I start talking about how good Moon and Me is. You're not going to fucking believe this, Rob.

What's that? Martin Freeman leans over, calls me a pedo, gets a round of applause. No way. I got called a pedo for the second time out of four appearances.

He'd not seen the original. This was a fresh accusation out of nowhere. 50% of my appearances, I've been called a pedo by a film star. He didn't know that was a running joke? No, he didn't know it was a running joke. Oh, my God. And then the next question was, so, Josh, how's the podcast going?

You talk to people about their kids. Mate, it was unbelievable. He was like, you're into weird kids' TV, right? And then they bring out my book and I have to promote a book about fucking kids' TV in the 90s. I look like... When you sent out, you sent a packet of sweets out with, yeah? Yeah. That's a mistake.

You need to rethink your brand positioning, Josh. From a PR point of view, you've got to push away from this. No, I know. But do you know what? And then I texted my agent, Flower, and said, just to check, I'm not a pedo, am I? And she replied, I don't think so. That is not the support I'm looking for, Rob.

That's not strong enough, is it? That's not strong enough. She's already thinking, what if these screen grabs are used in court? I don't want to be seen. Oh, Josh. Would you say it went well? Yeah, no, it did go well apart from that. I had some lovely banter with Denzel Washington.

There was a recurring joke about me being a paedophile. Yeah. I was only on to promote the tour. And that's good, though. Did you promote the tour? Yeah. Yeah, do come along. Don yeah yeah do come along don't bring your kids don't bring your kids don't bring your kids um no uh yeah so i was only on to promote the tour also rob i've realized yeah i'm now on a i'm now on a mega diet because i've i just realized i'm recording the tour at the palladium in march okay i've got i've got it for like where's that going

on like streaming or not dvds've got it. Where's that going? On, like, streaming or DVDs anymore, is it? No, it's going on. Going somewhere. Yeah, it's going somewhere. And so I'm on the mega diet again, Rob. But anyway, that is what it is. So that's what happened on Graham Norton.

Yeah, fair enough. Well, good luck on the mega diet. And sorry about all the pedo stuff. Yeah, it's just slightly unfortunate, Rob. Yeah, but you don't want that to be your thing, is it? You don't want to, every time you go on the most popular show in Britain, to be called a just slightly unfortunate, Rob. Yeah, that you don't want that to be your thing, is it? You don't want to, every time you go on the most popular show in Britain, to be called a paedophile, Rob. Yeah, I know, but that's I think that's just what happens when you, that's just

you're going to have to accept that. I'm going to have to accept that. Like, you said this about 4.30 AM's, mate. I can have to I can't accept everything. I'm not getting up at 4.30 AM and being a paedo. That's what life is. You have to just accept it. You can't change it. On Graham Norton, you are a pedophile.

That is who you are. That is what you are. He's the host. You're the pedo. They're the film stars. Just suck it up. That's not the phrase you want to use. Anyway. What's the other thing that went wrong?

What's the other thing that's gone wrong? Oh, the phone. Fuck my fucking phone. Fuck my fucking phone. So, you know I was going to buy a new computer. I didn't do that in the end

because I had to buy a phone. My phone just... The morning after Graham Norton, my phone... No, no, Saturday morning. So, the morning after...ham norton my phone no no saturday morning so the morning after your phone was taken by the police and destroyed do you know what my phone did die the morning after now it feels like i've deleted all my stuff because i'm worried about accusations so your phone died your phone's dead what phone did you

have an iphone one of of the iPhones. 11 maybe. And so I was like, I've got to go and buy a new phone. Yeah. Do you know what? And this, I don't want to sound like a hippie, Rob. Yeah. But that day without a phone, I felt free. So you couldn't back, because normally when you get a new phone,

you back up all your stuff. Well, my stuff was backed up on iCloud. Okay, but it's an immediate switch, isn't it, normally? Yeah, but. But you had a day of no phone? have no phone at all and it was it was freeing it was lovely I really enjoyed it and now I've started just turning my phone off for a good two or three hours a day oh and no one can get yeah it's just my new thing you know so if you try and get in touch with me maybe I'm just just chilling out I'm not part of the world wide web anymore he's not part of the system i'm just out there watching moon and me exactly anyway i can't back it up from

icloud there's something wrong with the backup from icloud it's all gone wrong i've spent the fucking week on the chat to the people in the apple chat place. The geniuses. The geniuses. I've had a phone call with a genius. None of them have worked it out. I'm now going to meet a genius at Apple on Saturday. He's going to try and work it out. I haven't got any of my apps. I haven't got...

I've lost all my text messages. I haven't got any of my logins. That's an absolute disaster. Oh, my God. So what can't you do at the moment that's the most annoying thing? Calendar. Banking. Oh, my God.

Taxi apps. Oh, my. Deliveroo. Just everything. All I've got is text and call. I haven't got email. I haven't got email. I don't think you need to turn it off, mate.

I think you could leave it on. I can't see you getting that bothered with just that. All I've got is text and call. I've got WhatsApp, yeah. Okay, cool. At least you've got something. But you're going to meet a genius on Saturday. Yeah.

I'm worried, right, Josh? I'm getting stressed here. I've got this heater in my office. You know, like you can get little plugs now that connect to your Wi-Fi and turn things on and off? Yeah. Right, so my office is in a little shed at the end of the garden yeah right and i've got a little plug that used to be connected to my internet and then it'd come on and off in the morning so in the summer um in the winter sorry in the winter it comes on at like six in the morning warms it up so when i get in here it's not freezing cold right yeah and that's

just not working and it said something like it doesn't work with a 2.4 gigahertz because i've got a new fucking router box thing which i don't think that the plucking handle is too much for it it's too it's too modern it's too new and it doesn't work now and i'm just sort of thinking well i'm only 36 what like and if we're all gonna go in the metaverse and i just i think i'm gonna struggle i don't want any part of it, mate. I just don't want to be in the, I don't want to meet with an helmet on. No.

Exactly. I don't like looking at people, even their more computer versions. I'm opting out, Rob. It's over. I'm going back. You're not out of the metaphor? I'm leaving.

I'm done with technology. It's over. After I've met my genius on Saturday and he sorted my phone out. After that, it's over. I just think when you look at Mark Zuckerberg and he goes, come and do this, this will be fun. I sort of think, will it? No, it won't.

Look at you. Look at you. I don't want to go where you're going. I don't want to. Do you know what I mean? Rob, we're old. Yeah. We need to just accept it.

I am middle-aged and it's fine. I'm scared of what our kids are going to have to do. Like, they're already sending messages on my phone. My oldest is typing messages to like my mum and brothers. Yeah, it's weird. It is weird. But I don't know what to do. I don't want to be that person to go,

yeah, I don't bother with it anymore because you will, you know, there's people now that can't, don understand how qr code works and that you literally just put a camera on top of it come on now and it takes you there yeah i don't want to be that guy but i need to find a middle ground well you're on tiktok rob you're way ahead of me well yeah tiktok's good i like tiktok but it does get kills my time and also i don't i don't know what it is josh my children just won't get tired. What do you mean?

My kids, they went to school all day, right? We leave early. At 8 o'clock in the morning, they're leaving, right? They get back and got back at 3 o'clock, they finish. And the youngest, only four, she's still in preschool. And then they went swimming lessons for like half an hour each. And then when one was in the swimming lesson and the other one wasn't, they're playing on the little soft play thing in the calf for half an hour each. And then when the one was in the swimming lesson and the other one wasn't, they're playing on the little soft play thing in the calf

for half an hour each. And they come home and they're just insane. But I'm getting more tired and they're getting stronger. This is what your mum said about you, Rob. What did she say? She said that you had infinite amounts of energy when you were a child. When we spoke to her about your 4.30 AMs.

Yeah. You were a child that had lots and lots of energy when you're a child. When we spoke to her about your 4.30 a.m. Yeah. You were a child that had lots and lots of energy. Yes. And I'm going to say it, Rob. You just need to accept it. This is your life. You just need to accept it. You just need to lie back and accept that you have two children

that for the next 10 years... And a dog. ...that for the next 10 years and a dog that for the next 10 years are never ever going to stop they're just gonna plow on doing things and also they're gonna get cleverer yeah and they're never ever gonna take a breath and they're never gonna go they're not daddy why don't we all just sit down and have you know and read the sunday papers they're never gonna say that rob imagine how tired and bad at technology i'm going to be in 10 years time imagine how good they're going to be at it and busy yeah at 14 and 16 and i'm sat there with an helmet on trying to

tell my daughter she can't go out in a in a skin that short in the metaverse you won't be going on the metaverse dressed like that oh god oh my god what's your fourth are you still getting up at 4 30 a.m no no we're not what time uh it was 6 15 this morning oh that's no good is it for me or this well no but if you if you want cheering up rob he did wake up for an hour and a half in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason not nothing at all just sat there gurgling staring yeah it was unbelievable couldn't believe it was happening you can have a third no are you no it's does rose want a third no um that was a slightly less hesitant she's still hesitant about throwing out the bath seat come on we'll just buy a new one

if it comes to it mate bath seats like 10's like 10, 12 quid or something? Yeah. I just refuse to accept a bath seat is symbolic. I refuse to... Baby grows, I'll let you have. Yeah. We're never going to look at a bath seat and shed a tear for all the memories it holds. I think we should start a new feature, right?

Adults trying to have a bath. Because I don't know if you have this. Don't send in your photos. No, listen. I try to have a bath i know because i don't know if you have this don't send in your photos no listen i try to have a bath sometimes and i go do you know what i've been cold all day i'm gonna get a nice bath right and try and chill out yeah and i go to my bath and it is full to the brim of barbies plastic toys sponges and all the crap that the kids glitter just hair bands and all that nonsense is in the bathroom just how you like it and then i think do you know what i can't be asked to clear it out yeah and put it back in again i'm just not gonna have a bath yeah so i think if you can share and we'll put it on our um instagram photos of your bath and you've tried to have a bath but gave up i think that's a great because

it made me feel better i don't think i've had a bath since theresa may was the prime minister rob i don't mean that as a that's not a related fact yeah so it's not oh you didn't just bath no i didn't i didn't celebrate i didn't feel like female leader bath symbolic that's almost thatcher in milk i'm just i'm just honestly i stink i could do with uh liz trusk being the next leader of the tory come on trussy take over from bojo wants a bath. No, but I don't think I've had a bath since, like... I don't know if I've had a bath since Brexit. I genuinely don't. Last time I had a bath, Sam Allardyce was the England manager.

That's how long ago it was. No way. Yeah, I just don't bathe. Have one and report back. OK. See how you get on um any any other news kids wise we've always spoken about kids but it's quite full-on back into the swing of school isn't it the i'm finding well no because we we went on holiday for three

days rob oh where'd you go because it's our last year before we're we're tied to the hell of school holidays and everyone oh yes so you're trying to get cheap uh last it's the last year of the cheap holiday before it's school time exactly and it's not just the cheapness it's the fact you want no one else to be there in your way do you know what i mean yes i know but yeah i i get it i get it it's it's a horrible transitional period of cost and busyness yes so i'm um so where'd you go we went to do you know what rob i spent three days there still It's a horrible transitional period of cost and busyness. Yes. So I'm... So where'd you go? We went to...

Do you know what, Rob? I spent three days there, still can't pronounce it. Port Lymph, is that how we pronounce it? Port Lymph. Yes, I think it is Port Lymph. Is that part of the Aspinall Foundation? The Aspinall Foundation. Do you know about Aspinall?

Yeah, I do, because we had a guided... We had a AAA tour of the safari that we went on. Oh. And they told us all about Aspinall who made his money. John Aspinall. John Aspinall made his money in Aspinall's casinos. And he had a... Yeah.

In his house in London, he had a bear and something else. And then he started a safari park, which is now... I don't know how, if he's a nice... I don't know about if he's one of the nicest guys ever. Well, I'm going to say... From the Lord Lucan connection. I don't know if you've ever's the nicest, I don't know about if he's one of the nicest guys ever. Well, I'm going to say it. From the Lord Lucan connection. I don't know if you've ever... I'm going to say it.

They were very clear that it's now nothing to do with the casinos. They were very clear on that. John Aspinall run this casino and then loved zoos and then bought loads of animals and then ended up setting up the zoo. And now I think it's moved on from that. But yeah, if you listen to the British Scandal podcast, which is really good, Matt Ford and Alice Levine, they do one about Lord Lucan.

And yeah, it's really interesting because he's involved in all that. Oh, is he? Yeah. And he got interviewed by the police. Did he? He got interviewed by the police holding a chimpanzee. Did he? Yeah.

Amazing. It's a really good, interesting podcast. I didn't know about Lord Lucan. No. Anyway, sorry. So yeah, it's down in Portland. I've been there. It's brilliant.

It's amazing. It's genuinely, it's one of the best three days of my life. I had an incredible time. Yeah, I loved it, Rob. I so far, like, because it's like, it's a really, it's like 600 acres and they've got loads of animals and they're obviously, you know, we fed a giraffe, Rob. What did you give it? Just some sweets out of my pocket. No, we, a giraffe, Rob. What did you give it? Just some sweets I had in my pocket.

No, we, like, some leaves. I fed... Some leaves. I fed a rhino. A giraffe. Do you want to see a photo? A rhino? I fed a rhino, mate.

We've been there, because it's not a proper safari, isn't it? If you can stay overnight and stuff. You go on a safari and you drive in a golf buggy. It's great. And the food was, like, the food's really good. You know when you often go to places and it's like, yeah, they've gone,

well, we've got the animals or we've got, you know, the roller coasters. So we'll just serve shitty food and stuff. Yeah. It's a bit like Lego land in Alton towers. You're very much in what's the cheapest accommodation we can make with the

cheapest food. Yeah. But there they've really gone. It's quite high end. It's really fancy. I went to the Italian restaurant, Rob. Yeah.

And the car, I don't want to turn this into those two other boys that do the food podcast right but yeah the garlic bread there mate the garlic bread was the best garlic bread i've ever had in my life really it was so good rob yeah that i insisted we went there for dinner, and the next day, I insisted we went for lunch there, so I could have just another garlic bread for lunch. And then there was no garlic bread on the menu, and I said, you couldn't do one of your garlic breads, could you? Like a junkie, like a garlic bread junkie. Did they do it for you? Yeah, they did me another garlic bread, mate, and it was just as good as I remembered. It was genuinely the most incredible garlic bread I've ever had in my life.

Wow. I mean, yeah, go on. And then you're just feeding the animals, not garlic bread. Like, so I fed baboons, rhinos, giraffes. And it's like meditation. It's so brilliant. Like seeing all these animals and feeding these animals. That all of my problems rob they just

washed away really the fact i couldn't the fact i couldn't get emails on my phone great the fact i've been called a pedo on national television none of these things mattered and again yeah none of these things again it didn't matter anymore didn't matter anymore because i was feeding a rhino were you there with the kids no yeah they loved it my daughter her favorite animal was for some reason the wolves she was absolutely wolf obsessed really yeah love the wolves where did you stay because they have like build like buildings where it's like a hotel typey type thing and also like tents so we didn't stay in the hotel we stayed in the tree house it was called which were like nice kind of uh two bedrooms with a nice kitchen and like a nice flat but they were up high so you could see over the whole of the um of the park oh brilliant i genuinely i would

give it i know you always rate things i'd give it five bobby beckett's out of five i really would five bobby beckett's out of five I really would five Bobby Beckett's out of five wow wow what you are that's good we went ages ago when they first put in

some nice tents but we've not been there with all these new really nice tree houses and stuff so we're going to go again you can go to like ones

where you're like the lion lodge or the tiger lodge or the wolf lodge where you're literally your building is up against where the lions or the tigers lodge or the tiger lodge or the wolf lodge yeah where you're literally your building is up against where the lions or the tigers are so they'll come up to your window oh do you want that that'd be good there's a picture on the website i'll find it of a woman in a bath with three lions looking through the window and i'm gonna say it it's one of the worst

photoshops i've ever seen in my fucking life. I absolutely didn't happen. Oh, really? They're trying to show what we can have. Well, that is the danger, that the tigers will stay away from the window, and then you've just got the view of a garden, which you've got at home with nothing in it. Yeah, you're just having a bath with no tigers. Yeah, and who wants that? Who wants that?

But yeah, I'd highly recommend it, and I'd highly recommend the garlic bread. Was it cold, though? No, no, it came out of the oven really hot, actually. Oh, here he is. Come on. Garlic bread madness. No, it was quite nice, because we had hot chocolate and stuff. It felt like it isn't something you need it to be summer.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you can get cosy and stuff. And if you're wrapped up, you're just seeing the animals on the... Sometimes it's a bit horrible and sticky when it's hot, isn't it? Yeah, but I'm not good in the heat, so it's great for me. While you've been doing that, I've been trying to read to my daughter. And she's in year one now, and the books are fucking long. Are they?

It's horrible. What are you reading? Awful. Moby Dick? Fucking Biff, Chip and Kipper or something. Biff, Chip and Kipper. Going on a victorian adventure is she learning to read through the book and you're having to like go what's that letter

what's that i don't really understand what's going on she can just bash it out and then like she better than you rob she's not far off she's on like level eight or something which is quite good yeah but there's always a kid in the class on higher yeah of course or lower and stuff and he's like well sounds like that oh no he gives a shit we can all read yeah by the time he's 18 do you know what i mean um and uh but no it's just like they're proper books with loads like hopscotch in it blacksmith blacksmith i know well no one's seen a blacksmith since the victorian times have they joseph know what's annoying is? It's a book about the Victorians. Basically, I think in order to have old words

that you don't normally get in a normal Biff, Chip and Kipper book, it's like Biff, Chip and Kipper go on an adventure to the Victorian times. Right. And then they use all them words there. But the thing that annoys me is, it's picture books as well, obviously, still, with lots of writing on it. And she'll go, what's happening here?

I was like, pardon? She went, what's happening here i was like pardon what's happening in this bit i was like well well i don't know if you know how a book works but some fucking words there that might point you in the right direction what do you mean what the fuck do you mean what's going on here read the words that's the point of reading what's going on here i don't know i don't know let's just guess and shut the book shall we hate it do you understand everyone's it's like um boring, isn't it? Reading a book about Biff, Chip and Kipper.

Yeah. But it's got to be done. But it's boring. Do email in if you've got anything. Things that you're meant to enjoy that are actually shit. I know I've said it before, Rob. Bathtime. No, playgrounds.

Couldn't fucking do one, mate. Yeah, I'm not a fan of playgrounds. If I was to bring in a law, you can't have a playground somewhere where parents have paid a lot of money to bring a child in. Because it's so galling when the child wants to go

to the playground and you're like, we paid a lot of money for this and you're going on a fucking slide. We could have done that. There's a rhino there that needs feeding. Yeah, exactly, mate.

We went to the zoo as well and there's a playground. We don't need this. There's a rhino there that needs feeding. Yeah, exactly, mate. It gets off those monkey bars. We went to the zoo as well, and there's a playground. We don't need this. There's animals. Don't put a playground. They do enjoy it, though. I don't care, Rob. It's not about them.

It's about me. It's about you getting your money's worth. It's about me, Gary. I'm so tired. You spent a certain amount of money that day. Yeah. And you don't get it back if you go on everything. No.

So if they leave happy, isn't that mission complete? Oh, Rob. Bloody hell. It's not the 60s. It's not about people being happy. I've paid for this. Get off that fucking swing and stare at that orangutan because there's swings in Victoria Parks.

There are no orangutans. Just look at the orangutan. But I've seen the orangutan. Just look at it longer. All right? Take it in. That at the orangutan. But I've seen the orangutan. Just look at it longer. All right? Take it in. That is an orangutan. Were you there?

Were you there? Look at the orangutan. I tell you what's good. Winghams is good for a zoo. It's all got orangutans in it. It's all newly built. Some giraffes. But it's quite small.

So if you've got little kids, some zoos are too big. Like Howlitz. I'm not a big fan of Howlitz. I't really it's but it's too massive that's the sister one of uh port lymph isn't it yeah port lymph and winghams are better than howlitz i think personal opinion and also i need to give a massive um big up to these this is a good tip uh for kids if you're going swimming your kids on holiday even to the local pool as well they're called like puddle jumpers i think they're called yeah and they're like instead of armbands it straps around their waist as well as their arms you get them on like amazon obviously they're called armbands puddle jumper right they're

called um i think they're made by sevlor s-e-v-y-l-o-r i'm not we're not getting paid for this by the way this has been really awful they're like 15 quid each and you basically put the kids arms in it and the bit wraps around their body and it clips to the back. And it means if you're on holiday and there's a deep pool for adults, they can bob around in it. You don't have to hold them. Obviously, you need to be in with them, but they can move around and swim around totally. It's almost like, you know, the things that hang in the doorframe that they bounce on. It's like that, but for a swimming pool.

So you can't just leave them on their own in there. But if you're in there with them, you're not holding them. Because the worst thing in a deep pool you just hold them they get the ump with you holding them and your arms ache these puddle jumpers are amazing and i was a bit like oh i hope they're not gonna like stop them learning to swim because they're just bobbing around but they don't actually just give some massive confidence because they can jump in the water and go under the water and then they bob straight back up and it builds their confidence and my kids are doing really well now in swimming lessons because of it we had those holidays which helps if they get to swim a lot but even just to the local swimming pool with these puddle jumpers on you'll enjoy

it way more and do they do them in adult sizes no no but you should be right the one i've got my daughters get them little arms in there graham norton might need an adult one but i think you'll be all right slide in but they're brilliant we've got ours from adult one but I think you'll be alright slide in but they're brilliant we've got ours from Costco but I think you can get them on Amazon and stuff but they're really good and my kids have got

really they're basically they've gone up a level each in swimming just from being in these puddle jumpers for a week so yeah I'd massively

recommend it lovely to parents because Lou told someone at the swimming lessons and then because she was like oh what are those things

your kids have got because they were in the pool and we said they're puddle jumpers she went oh good because we're going on holiday next week and then um because she was like oh what are those things your kids have got because they were in the pool and we said they're paddle jumpers she went oh good because we're going on holiday next week and we just want and then she come home and lou said it was like she's sort of like she went can i just say to you thank you that saved our holiday because you know you're not having to hold a kid in water for seven days in a row but um yeah they're really good um so i'd recommend them if you're going swimming with your kid and you're bored of holding them in the deep end.

I like it when we recommend things. I feel like we're actually... Is this what an influencer feels like? Apart from we're not getting any cash. Well, yeah, I know. But I think we're winning the moral victory. Yeah, we're winning the moral victory. Look, because my glory is in knowing

that people will have a nice holiday. Exactly. Because you look forward to it. And you guys listen to us and support us. We're giving a nice holiday. Exactly. Because you look forward to it all. And you guys listen to us and support us. We're giving a bit back. And then, you know, but don't tell anyone that doesn't listen to it. No.

This tip. Keep it in house. Do you know what my biggest reward for it is? Yeah. That they're willing to go off menu and make me a garlic bread because they recognise me, Rob. Do you know what I mean?

They recognise you for... No, I don't. I don't. You're getting a bit of payback now josh is that the widdicombe is the influencer he give him some garlic bread am i gonna have to declare that i got a garlic bread out of garlic bread hours because because no well like you know you paid to go to the place didn't you yeah of course yeah paid through the bloody nose mate we do get offered things on this podcast but i don't really take people up on it because

i don't want to not be able to give an honest review yes if you know what i mean i don't want to come back from somewhere oh my god like that i felt like you know with tenerife i paid for all tenerife i can go that hotel was a bit shit rather than going guys you've got to get out there like i've got a gun to my head so i always make sure that um i don't really i'll just pay my way and then i can be honest on it because otherwise it will ruin the podcast just be us fucking going oh that's great that's great but that's not me on that I don't know what this is

I still don't know who sent this to me but I got anonymously sent a set of Sonic the Hedgehog Lego oh probably from Lego innit do you think that's from Lego I don't think the fucking Hedgehog sent it so there we go But obviously

Going back Obviously we do do adverts Sort of in the breaks Of these shows But the adverts We don't really We won't promote anything We don't really believe in

But things like this When we're chatting like this We're very much I think it's best to be honest Isn't it Oh you should see The adverts we've turned down Oh mate

Honestly Honestly Some real bastards Some real bastards Oh, you should see the adverse we've turned down. Oh, mate. Honestly. Honestly. Some real bastards. Some real bastards are trying to get our pound. And we have said, no, thank you. And if you think it's weird I haven't had a credit card for a bit, thank us. The money we've turned down to flog you some fucking credit

that you don't need. Thank me later. Anyway, I was using Paddy Power earlier, Rob, and what a servant. Do you know what I love doing? Smoking cigarettes. Right, shall I just put a mint in for no reason? I've got a lovely smitten...

I'm joking. Right, okay. Josh, lots of people are requesting your vegetable lasagna, right? What do you mean they're requesting it? The recipe. The recipe? They want the recipe. Oh, mate.

All right, do you know what I think we should do? Yeah. You should make it, work out the recipe, and then we should sell it and try and get it in shops for next Christmas. Oh, yes, please. You can stick it, it's pre-cooked somewhere else, and then you just warm it up in the oven for Christmas Day. Marks and Spencers,

Waitrose, hit us up. Yes. Whoever it is, Tesco, Asda, we'll do a Josh Widdicombe veggie lasagna. What goes in your, can you give us a taste of what goes into your veggie lasagna, Josh, so people can try and recreate it? Yeah, so I start, I make the red sauce, which is just tins of tomatoes fry up a bit of garlic put in some chili that's your then then um cook it down yeah and then the veggies mushrooms courgettes onion peppers they all go in the red

sauce and then i asked rose's mum to make the white sauce because i can't do it and then so she makes the white sauce i taste the white sauce give her the thumbs up and then and then layer it up with lasagna and then on top any specific sheets they're just the ones that were left over from last year because i make it once a year and it does keep. And I've checked the date. You'll get a good three Christmases out of that lasagna. Don't worry about that. Okay.

Layer it up on top. Cheese, mozzarella and cheddar. And then a couple of basil leaves for look. And then put it in the oven the day before. Cook it so that then you're reheating it on the day because I actually think it tastes better reheated. A hundred percent. Lasagna double cooked is the future.

There we go. There you go, Jodie Plummer and everyone else asked. That is how you do a vegetable lasagna. Right. Have you got any emails, Josh? Oh, God, Rob. I'm all over the shop. Let me have a look.

Oh, I never did the Aberdeen story. Let me do the Aberdeen story. Oh, yeah. Tell me your Aberdeen story. Let me do the Aberdeen story. Oh, yeah. Tell me your Aberdeen story. Morning, lads. You may be interested in hearing about my son, Finn's first game when he was two years old. My brother and I have always been massive Aberdeen supporters.

My brother attended almost every home and away game for the previous five years. So when I decided it was time to bring my beautiful son into the misery, depression, hatred, horror, and general melancholy-filled world of being an Aberdeen Football Club supporter. Taking our seats in the family stand a good 40 minutes before kick-off, Finn was enjoying drinking in the pre-match atmosphere,

by which I mean constantly saying the word cold. It was November and the stadium is right on the coast. I thought things would change when Aberdeen's mascot, the famous Angus the Bull, headed along the touchline to the family stand behind one of the goals. I took Finn down to meet the mascot with the intention of getting a few photos with him. As Angus approached, Finn started to cry and climbed over my shoulder to get away, all the while screaming like a banshee.

Obviously terrified, while I tried to calm him down and show him that Angus was lovely, he continued to try and escape. I couldn't even take any photos with the mascot, as in single photo it looked like i just sold finn to a family of balls such was the upset in his face onto the game aberdeen scored early the crowd went wild and finn screamed at the noise of the crowd absolutely petrified of course he's petrified it's fucking terrifying when aberdeen scored second, my brother jumped up to celebrate, elbowing Finn in the nose and causing a massive nosebleed. No.

No. Being in a football ground, there's not easy access to napkins, so I had to use my beloved 20-year-old Aberdeen scarf to mop up the blood. Oh, my God. The crying continued, getting louder and louder, and we left after the first half.

Finn's never been keen on going back to watch my beloved Aberdeen, but will happily shout, come on you Reds, when we're there on the telly. He's now four, and his Angus the Bull mascot soft toy I got him lives in a closed box in my bedroom rather than in his own room, as he's still scared. Keep up the good work, podcast boys. Mark Aberdeen. Too early.

Too early. Two. It's unbelievable. Too early. Too early. Too early. Two. Are you? It's unbelievable. Too early. I think six or seven. Yeah. I went to my first game, and this is a dirty secret, Rob. Oh.

I went to my first game at Exeter City, Plymouth's biggest rivals, who I, yeah. And I didn't think their ground was good enough. So when we went to see Plymouth Argyle, I became a glory supporter and supported them instead. What a glory that is. What a glory it's been. And do you know what? It's been 25 years of glory. What exactly?

We're playing Chelsea though in a couple of weeks. But anyway. Are you going at Chelsea or Plymouth? At Chelsea. Are you going to go? I'm going to go if I can, but obviously the TV decides

which day it is. So are you going to go properly with Pie Face and the lads or are you going to go with Badil in a box? I would go with Pie Face and the lads. Because I went to Liverpool about five or six years ago in the Plymouth end and we drew 0-0 and it was absolutely incredible. It was such a great experience. Would you say Pie Face is the most famous Plymouth fan now above you?

I don't know who Pie Face is. I just thought youlymouth fan now above you I don't know who Pie Face is I just thought you don't know who Pie Face is I genuinely thought you meant that it was just a reference to the

kind of people that go and watch Plymouth Argyle was Pie Face who's Pie Face one of the best street kids Pie Face was in

Big Brother and now he's become very famous online in the Twitch world right Rob and he goes to loads of

away games now he's lost lots of weight, actually. He's doing really well. Jack Pymock Dermott. And he's a Plymouth fan. Massive Plymouth fan. If you remember from Big Brother, they faked hand him loads.

It was amazing. And he used to get really angry. Rob, I haven't watched Big Brother since Bubble fell over the sofa. Okay, let me show you Plyface's. I'll send you his photo of Plyface. This is Plyface in Big Brother. And now this is him now.

Oh, my God. Who's this bloke? I've never seen him in my life He's a Twitch guy What's Twitch? You must know what Twitch is Twitch is live streaming of gaming and content Oh that thing

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Oh he's wearing the Argyle shirt And he's famous for getting really angry on it He's a big Plymouth fan He keeps going away now He's getting loads of banter from the crowd Oh right Well I don't know him, but I'll keep an eye out for him.

The big, you know, I'm in the top three most famous Plymouth fans, I'd say. Who are the others? Pieface, who now has just gone above me, even though I'd not heard of him three minutes ago. How that's happened, I don't know. The unlikely celebrity followers of Plymouth

Argyle. Woody from Bastille, the drummer. Okay. He's a big Plymouth fan. Plymouth Herald. I think they could be taken to court for this article. There's no secret that Plymouth Argyle has thousands of fans. And the celebrities. Jason Derulo.

Yeah, well, that's bullshit. Because he followed Plymouth on Twitter. Right, well, that's not good enough. That's not journalism. No, that is not. Evander Holyfield. Right, well, that's not good enough. That's not journalism. No, that is not. Evander Holyfield. Right, that doesn't count either. Why?

Honorary support after picking Plymouth Argyle out of a hat on Soccer AM. Why the hell was Evander Holyfield on Soccer AM? But fair enough. That's probably the glory years. We love joy, wouldn't it? Yeah, Woody from Bastille's there. Jeff Brazier. Right, he's not a Plymouth fan either.

What is... Well, it says he is. Is he? It says he's a member of the Green Army. Doesn't say anything. He just talks Plymouth. All right, fair enough. Josh Whittacombe.

Yes. Comedian, radio and television presenter, Josh Whittacombe. He's best known for Last Egg Fight and Top Mock of the Week. He's from Hayter Vale on Dartmoor. Yeah, correct. Is that right? Yeah. Anfield Draw was the greatest experience of my life as a Plymouth okay yep nigel martin plymouth fan what the yeah he's from

cornwall yeah dawn french is i don't know how much of a plymouth fan she is she was born in plymouth she lives in cornwall now so i think you know she counts greg cyril don't know who that is i don't know who he is either former leader of the labour party michael foot as well but he's dead you pie face and jason derulo yeah there we go are the three biggest great so what was so sorry we got so distracted on that what was i saying about it oh first day at football yes first day at football six or seven we're going for yeah six or seven max go in the family stand i used to think there were a bunch of squares when i was a teenager rob but now i can't imagine anywhere else i'd want to take my children the family stand pie face will be leading the

ultras on exactly you'll be there in the pie you'll be there the old man sat down phone with no internet i've got a good i've got a good uh um a good email instagram and then we'll do some small business shout outs hi guys absolutely love the podcast it's changed my life I'm a mum of four boys and was laughing so much

at special daddy pasta this was when I had to leave a restaurant early and I grabbed a handful of plain pasta and I fed it to my kids out of my pocket like dog treats

yeah anyway and I called it special daddy pasta and your story about how difficult it is to feed kids on holiday we had a classic

I felt the need to share this is from Lauren our little boy was two on holiday he refused to. We had a classic I felt the need to share. This is from Lauren. Our little boy was two on holiday. He refused to eat. He had a diet of olives and ice cream. Until the end of the holiday. Fucking hell, that makes me feel better.

We were at dinner. Myself and my husband had a seafood platter, which had tiny little octopuses on. Our son decided to play with the octopus, give him a name, and danced him around while he ate his olives. We was glad of the silence so we can enjoy our meal slowly he started to suck on the tentacles after we ate starters and mains this little octopus became smaller and smaller until he ate the entire thing we were chuffed as he finally had eaten something other than olives

but what followed was the world's biggest tantrum because his friend had gone. He genuinely didn't realise he'd been eating him during the dinner. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Poor boy. Oh, we had a situation, not a dissimilar situation, actually, last week. We ended up with a butternut squash. Do you know what a butternut squash is?

I didn't really know what it was, but it's like a vegetable, right? It looks like a big bell, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, it does look like a big bell. And it was kicking around. It was in one of those recipe boxes, but we hadn't made the recipe in time. So we'd kind of opened it up and we were like, well, we'll keep the butternut squash for use. Never used it. My daughter got hold of it.

And I don't know how this happened, but suddenly she decided that her best friend was the butternut squash, Rob. She drew a face on it. Yeah. And it became like one of her teddies. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. But it will rot.

Yeah. So we got back from holiday yesterday and butternut squash had seen better days. He was sat in the corner of her room. Oh, no. Absolutely done for. And fair play to Rose. She got in there.

She took him out without my daughter seeing it. Put a new one in. Well, no. We can't do that. That's not sustainable for the next 18 years. It's not ethical. It's not ethical. We just think she's probably forgotten about the existence of butternut squash.

We hope. Yes. Because if she asks where he is, he's in the bin. Can I suggest, if you run a greengrocer's anywhere near where Josh lives, draw a face in all your butternut squashes, because when his kid sees it, he'll have to buy it. Yeah. Get those sales up.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, Josh, we got some feedback from that episode last week. It was asking about ambulance drivers and firefighters. Yeah. Hi, guys. Just listening to your new episode, and it's great to have you back. Within the opening sequence, I had to message, you know, I work for the ambulance service in Derbyshire,

and I've actually played your podcast whilst in the ambulance, both with and without patients. Obviously not when we have life-threatening patients, but we can also turn the speakers off in the back, so we can listen to you guys when transporting someone to A&E with minor ailments. I hope they don't die of laughter. Am I right? Oh, laughing.

Is that laughing gas? No, it's just this podcast. This will stop the pain. Pop on an interview with Stephen Mangan. You think your arm hurts. This poor fucker gets up at 4.30am every day. Anyway, um from your very first episode you kept me going with two two-year-old twin girls through these strange

times ps firefighters have had it slightly easy through the panny d hashtag bants from steve oh a bit of emergency service infighting there you got you gotta love it do you reckon when they see each other in street they're like ah fuck you well i think firefighters get grief for like obviously it's horrific when it's kicking off but there's a lot of downtime and they can have part-time jobs on the side so there's a bit of that banter but basically what we said is all emergency services do a great job and they're very valued they all do a great job even if it may have been a bit quieter for the firefighters in the pandemic we don't know we've not heard from the fire brigade yet no here we go oh here we go another one hello from australia this is from alicia just listening to episode five of season three and you

were talking about baby teeth when i announced my family that we are that we were pregnant at the end of 2019 my younger sister who works in the film and television industry in canada asked what my plan was for the baby teeth feeling very perplexed i asked why she said she wanted them for props department as trying to create human teeth for films and television is difficult. Oh, my word. Oh, my God. She's a psycho.

Let's just say I refused. That is bad. At the thought of trying to post human teeth internationally, I just couldn't imagine signing the postage declaration. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My eldest, another tooth came out of my eldest.

She's lost, like, four now. How much is the tooth fairy paying for them, Rob? Two quid, this one was. Two quid? The tooth fairy once gave her a fiver because I think the tooth fairy may have come back from holiday late and that was the only money in the tooth fairy's house. Bloody hell, yeah.

And the tooth fairy thought, this is too much, we're going to make a rob for our own back, but then the tooth fairy said, what I'll do is hopefully just give her two quid next time and she'll forget. Yeah. And did she? Yes. Yes.

Good. Right. Small business shout outs. Yes. I've got one for Southeast London for you, Rob. Oh, go on. Hello, guys. Love the podcast so much.

It has me in stitches every time I listen. And it's inspiring too. My wife and I have a little... Where are you listening? Back of an ambulance? Oh, here we go. Come on. Here we go.

Yes, please. My wife and I have a little boy on the way due on the 18th of December. Presumably that's already happened. I'm presuming this is an old email rather than he's planning to have sex in two months.

I wanted to give you guys a shout. Firstly, to comment on how fantastic the podcast is, secondly to ask for a small business shout out at Deptford Hot Sauce Ooh, Deptford Hot Sauce not too far away from me, I used to live near there I started Deptford Hot Sauce back in

April 2021 during the lockdown, I work in film and TV industry as a focus puller you pull focus quite a lot in TV don't you Rob and found myself I just summoned as good at it found myself doing in film and TV industry as a focus puller. You pull focus quite a lot in TV, don't you, Rob? Yeah, what's that? Just someone who's good at it. I found myself twiddling... You've worked with some people

that don't pull focus, haven't you? I found myself twiddling... Well, normally I'll get paired up with them. I found myself twiddling my thumbs in a little experimentation

with different flavour combinations. People are currently Googling the line-ups for when Rob Beckett's been paired up with people on panel shows. It's only somebody from an academic background, aka long set-ups, short punchlines. After twiddling my thumbs

and a little experimentation with different flavour combinations, Deptford Hot Sauce was born. The sauce is a scotch bonnet and pineapple combo that's fermented for a week. It's a lovely fruity number that doesn't burn your tongue to a crisp, but still makes itself known. Ooh, I like that. I like that. Yeah. It's selling local shops in Deptford as well as over Instagram.

And once my wife and I have settled down with the baby i'll be looking to expand okay fair enough well that's a bit more of a trendy hipster one this one's a bit more um stiff neck we'll go for a stiff neck shout out this is hi rob and josh so glad you're back this week and hilarious as always it's been unbearable driving to work without listening to the podcast apologies for the boring question but any chance you can send a photo link of the sunlight lamp you mentioned you got for Christmas? I threw away the box. I don't know what it's called. I've got it here, though.

Light therapy lamp model LQ05. Catchy. It's not a Dyson Airblade, is it? Right. Here we go. Apologies. Yeah, that's the boring question, Dan. The winter's really tough, and I thought it sounded like a brilliant idea.

Yeah. Do you know what? It does have an impact. I've got a UV light that puts it on your face. But I think you can just get them off the internet. Just Google UV lamp. If you could also do a small business shout-out, that would be amazing. My company is DL Bookkeeping Services, based in Leicester.

We are a small family run. I run the business alongside my mum. Account service, specialising in sole trader partnerships and SME accounts. Services include tax returns, VAT returns, sage accounting and bookkeeping, CIS and payroll services. Visit our website, https, two little dots, double forward slash, dlbookkeepingservices.co.uk. That's dlbookkeepingservices.co.uk. Thank you. Also just realised how boring this message makes me sound. Daylight lamp and accounts. What have I become?

There you go. I mean, they do accounts up in Leicester. I mean, I don't know. Why not? If you need your accounts done in Leicester, why not? Do you know what? You could do it anywhere. It's a Zoom world now.

Also as well, it's end of January. Self-employed accounts need to be done, guys. Don't forget 31st of Jan. HMRCc are not they don't have to remind you they don't have to tell you need to be on top of that guys yeah remember what you need to pay end of the month what have we become i wish they told me about fucking accounts at school rather than french yeah do you know what i mean it's no good being able to pay your vest without not knowing when you've got to pay your tax is it should i pay your vest take your vest off in it no no that means my name is vest well it might be by the end of this month

if you know what i mean i don't i don't know what i mean i don't know what you mean at all rob we've got a best of on friday i tell you what won't be making the cut that and um We've got a best of on Friday. I tell you what won't be making the cut, that. And... We should do a worst of. Let's do a worst of. The worst. There's not enough worst ofs.

There's not enough worst ofs. Some really boring celebrity anecdotes and some anecdotes from us that go nowhere. Right, well, yeah, we'll be back with a best of on Friday. We'll be back with another chatty episode like this Tuesday, the following week, I think. And, yeah, and then February we'll be back with more celebrity interviews. We're just getting on top of that now.

Thanks for your patience. See you then. Bye.