Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP21: The final nail in the coffin of my week...

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

S04 EP21: The final nail in the coffin of my week...More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxWe're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK?Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there...ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley)28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Kit, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. Do you like that? Yeah, that's the first one you've ever provided, Rob, isn't it?

You've provided this yourself, right? Well, yes, because I got given this direct from a, let's say, a celeb. So is that a celeb's voice? That's a celeb's, no, no, it's a celeb's child. No, no, no, is that the celeb who's saying, Kit, can you say? Yeah, so that's the celebrity's wife, Izzy. So that's Izzy Judd with Kit. And Izzy Judd married to Harry Judd from McFly and Strictly Champion.

That was tight for me, Rob. I'd say I was 80% confident when I said Harry Judd then. What other famous Judds are they? Judd Apatow. I was thinking the snooker player, Judd Trump. Yeah, I know. That would have been a terrible, terrible guess. It would have been odd, wouldn't it? When would I have crossed paths with Judd Apatow. I was thinking the snooker player, Judd Trump. Yeah, I know, that would have been a terrible, terrible guess.

It would have been odd, wouldn't it? When would I have crossed paths with Judd Trump? I know, and why would she have taken his

first name as her surname? That would be very big to say. No one wants Trump. True. Izzy Trump.

That's it, that's it. Yeah, Izzy, who's a big fan of the show, and Harry Judd was on my radio,

my Radio 2 show, talking about cricket bats that he collects, and he said, oh look, my wife recorded this. So yeah, I think they call that nepotism in the biz. Yeah, you know, jobs for the boys, isn't it? It's jobs for the boys.

Old school. We'll go back to, you know, the salt of the earth man and woman in the street recordings next episode. But you know. Well, if you do see me in the street with your children, no, you're with your children. Call the authorities.

If you see me in the street with your children, no, you're with your children in the street, then I can record it on my phone of them doing it. But I'll be honest with you, I don't want that to happen. If you want to record your children in the street, that's fine. Yeah. If I'm walking around the street with a boom mic,

and if anyone wants them to record their children. Yeah, I've got a lot of work on actually this week We'll be on Bromley High Street between 1 and 3 on Saturday recording children Don't say that, people will turn up I imagine they would The police Some sort of pedo sting

I'll be on Facebook Live They'll call you a citizen's arrest with a big folder of evidence steam and rob's yeah i'll be on i'll be on facebook live no they corner corner your citizens arrest with a big folder of evidence we believe you're meeting children here to record them yes i am but it sounds worse anyway so thank you izzy harry and uh kit for the message but that's the only one i've done that was only because i saw him yesterday and i said i'd do it but yeah keep keep emailing them keep emailing them they'll Keep emailing them in. We're getting through them. They'll never end. And, well, should I start talking about my week, Rob? What a week.

Yes, you go with your week. Because I know, I should say, for all the people that have asked, Lou's fine now and she's at home. She's all good. So we're all back, settled into the groove. It's not been easy, but she's home. So I'll get that out early doors. But how's your week been, Josh?

Because I know it's been awful. I think the weird thing was we recorded last week. So we're on a slight delay here, aren't we, Rob? Because we're recording a couple of... We're about a week ahead, if you're listening. Yeah, we're going to have a little break over Easter, so we're sort of getting a few done a bit early. So we're a little bit, like, about a week ahead.

So anyway, we had a lovely Christmas day, obviously. That was... Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? It was good, actually, wasn't it? Because, you know, I thought 2030 would be a weird Christmas. It feels so far in the future, doesn't it?

It was actually just normal, wasn't it? It was. Oh, so here we go. What was I going to say? Your week. Talk us through it. Last time we left each other

was on, like, Monday morning last week. And you were having an absolutely torrid time. Yeah, I don't think I said it, though, actually, but Lou's mum got COVID that afternoon after the recording, so we lost childcare for that week as well. Oh, my God. My mum and dad had to stay up, but they're so old now,

and by the end of the week, my mum looked like... My mum looked like she'd been kidnapped and we'd just rescued her. You know when you see people that have been saved from kidnap and they come in and they're safe and they're cuddling, but everyone also goes, let's get them to a hospital and get them checked out because they look exhausted. That's how my mum looked. She looked like she'd been trafficked.

So when did your week get better? When did you come out of the darkness? Well, basically, Lou came home the Tuesday night and then I had to go to Chester on Thursday and Friday but yeah by about yeah by about now it's all right no yeah so it was fine yeah Lou's feeling much better and stuff now but uh but then I did because I did that Royal Albert Hall and I the kids had got me up at five and I had to get and I was up with him from five and i did all the school run then i had to do loads of work in a day and i did the royal albert hall and i've been doing this thing now josh where i go you're not actually as tired as you think it's

just your brain telling you you're tired and it's giving you that narrative but in that moment of whatever you're doing you've normally got enough energy you know because you think yeah that's having an absolute breakdown at some point yeah well well this is what happened um i was telling myself that i got on stage at royal albert hall there's 6 000 people there i was a bit overwhelmed by all the people the gig went well but in between the laughs when i was trying to link to a new beer my brain went no rob you are actually too tired to do this which is not the not the thought you need on stage oh god how long were you doing 20 minutes of 15 20 i was closing it so i had to wait so long so i was up at five i was on stage at half 10 i was all over the place but um but

yeah anyway that was a that that sort of felt like the the peak of it and then it's all um it's all calmed down now in our house a lot of plenty of things have happened to talk about but i think we should start with your week josh yeah one one final thing on up at five yeah this we're recording this the day after the... The Monday after the clocks have gone forward. Fucking the stupid clocks. Rob, I'm all behind it, this one. This one's good.

So the kid's sleeping in a bit longer. Yeah, I'm using this to adjust his sleep times. Oh! I'm trying to use nature against my own child. I'm trying to kind of... Oh, yes! Like riding a wave. so this is the good one it's the one when it goes back to bad yeah so he has he woke up today rather than at um half five

he normally wakes up half five to six yeah this morning he woke up at seven but it was technically six it was technically six but we're just going to move his bedtime later we're going to use this to shunt everything an hour. Love it. Keep me posted. But yeah, but this can be great. So you're basically riding a wave into an extra hour of sleep. Extra hour in the morning.

Yeah. Right. But as you will hear when my week unfolds, the clock moving was the final nail in the coffin of my week. So we'll start on Monday. So we finished recording the show. Yeah. Rose isn't very well's she's gone to the dentist i think she's got it around the wrong way she's not going down the gp for a root canal is she no no no no no she's she's got she's got a dentist appointment anyway a hygienist appointment anyway she's coming back she had to get off at bethnal green to be sick

rob oh no on the tube yeah that is not a good sign. Those lovely new clean teeth. Those lovely new, do you know what she could have been sick an hour earlier and it would have been far worse. Yeah true. So she's been to the hygienist and she's been sick at Biffnell Green tube station on a Monday afternoon. Yeah.

And there's a feeling that there's a sickness bug going around nursery. She goes to bed, she's not well. Tuesday she's not well again but she's a feeling that there's a sickness bug going around nursery. She goes to bed. She's not well. Okay. Tuesday, she's not well again, but she's a bit better. Okay. Wednesday. So you're taking the lead on all the childcare at this point?

Yeah, exactly. I can't even remember what I'm doing. Let me have a look. Was you working as well? I can't remember. Last leg. Oh, Tuesday we got childcare because I was doing blankety blank, Rob. So you got some.

Yeah. Yeah, just slipping a bit of blankety blank so you can't pull out on blankety blank you can't take a child to blankety blank you can't take a child to blankety blank yeah right and obviously my daughter's at nursery so wednesday then i had to do the last leg meeting on zoom yeah while holding my son yeah out i did the zoom in the kitchen, blocked off the kitchen and then I just chase him around the kitchen or hold him

for the whole meeting. And then about lunchtime I thought, this is interesting. I haven't actually eaten yet today and I don't feel hungry at all.

Oh no. Yeah. You know it's coming. Yeah, I thought that's not a good sign. So this is Wednesday and have you've

got a busy week have you i've got the i had the palladium right on saturday which we're which we're recording videoing videoing so oh so you're going to do your tour show filmed special so the four years of work into this show and this will be the final version of it that's preserved forever but do you want an added an added extra do you want an added extra to this rob well we are we're doing it ourselves we're producing ourselves yeah so we're we are financing it to then get the money back because we've sold it right so you're you're putting you're fronting up the money to film it and then in order to sell it yeah because dvds don't exist anymore dvds don't exist anymore so rob if it's cancelled i am in a hole oh so you can't because it's all your money so you have to do it

you haven't got the insurance because then uh bear in mind i'm also sorry oh my god that's instantly giving me a headache bear in mind i'm also at this point shitting myself. Literally. Because on Friday at last leg, literally, on Friday at last leg, the person I'd spent all day with, Matthew Crosby, had then, on Saturday morning, tested positive for COVID. You can't have the shits and COVID, can you, in one go? You're like this. So the whole week I've been worrying about getting COVID.

Yeah. And then... Because then you'd have to cancel the show because of COVID. Then I'd have to cancel the show because of COVID, which I'm not insured for. Yeah. And then... Because then you'd have to cancel the show because of COVID. Then I'd have to cancel the show because of COVID, which I'm not insured for. Yeah. Sorry. Can you imagine the stress?

Oh, my God. And that money's just gone, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. You just... The only... If you had to cancel it for illness, the only option you've got is to just put that in the idiot tax

and pay it all again. Or never record it. But you've paid and you can't sell it. No. Right, so that's Wednesday, right? Have you been... And Rob. Yeah.

I asked my agent, because she's been organising it, what I'd stand to lose. Yeah. And I haven't got an exact figure but from what I can tell we're looking at about **** You'd never

be able to deal with that mentally No I know If you you'd never be able to cope with the loss of that money that would haunt you forever yeah so what happened

it's quite a stressful week I should add I'm also due to vanity at the start of the week I've been doing 1500 calories a day to try and finally lose the last bit of weight because I'm worried about looking fat. Careful what you wish for, Rob, because I was on zero calories

for the last four days of the week. Oh, mate, you can look so thin. I looked great. I looked... Best I've looked in years, mate. A massive head. Big lollipop head no body that's wednesday so that's wednesday lunchtime you haven't actually been no yet no so rose is still in bed at this point i'm doing last leg meetings while chasing a child around the kitchen yeah and then i start to feel like a clamping feeling on my stomach.

But I'm like, part of me is like, this is just psychosomatic because I'm thinking about it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You know when people talk about, like, believe it, dream it, achieve it? That is all bollocks, isn't it? Because you can't just believe you haven't got a stomach bug. No, exactly.

Exactly. And so then Rose is still in bed so i say look i say i'll go to nursery i'll get a taxi straight there do the classic leave the taxi running pick her up yeah with my son as well the bill's out of hand already that's the least of our financial problems so i'm like i'll take him in exchange for when I get back. I'll lie down for half an hour. Because that's the thing. When you're unwell and your partner's unwell,

you just, in your head, you go, oh, you're all right. But in your head, you're going, you need to be better. You need to be not unwell because I'm becoming unwell. Yeah, exactly. But I thought that one of us might as well take the double hit here. There's no point in both of us struggling with a kid for half an hour. No. So I get to nursery, pick up my daughter, get back in the taxi.

She is trying to insist that I read her this book. And you've got the baby as well. Got the baby as well. And I start to feel really sick at this point. And she's trying to make me read in a car while I'm feeling sick. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. I just can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't do that. I just can't. I feel sick. But you did it on telly for all the other children. Why not me, Daddy? Why won't you read for me? It's really difficult with a child to explain your real because they do get it

don't they but they don't care care i'm what they're almost like a ceo of a big company sorry i was late today but yeah i get it i don't care you're fine so um get back get into the house run straight upstairs to be sick oh really yeah fully and it's like properly you know when you're like that was everything my body going this needs to be empty now yeah there's nothing left it's a bit like when you order a skip and your wife goes to the shed before you know it it's all it's all gone it's a full clear out you order a skip and your wife goes to the shed. Before you know it, it's all gone. It's a full clear out. Yeah, exactly.

And then I was sick again. So I was finally sick at about half seven. Then I'm like, go to bed. So who put the kids to bed? Rose put the kids to bed. So she's up a bit more with it now. She basically was put in a position where she had to do that. Because you're literally being physically, You're physically vomiting on the floor.

I'm being sick. I mean, I've gone up to the spare room so that my sickness doesn't wake up our son as she puts him to bed. You're doing it in the spare room? It's a gone-on suite. Oh, it's got an ensuite, I was going to say. All right, go. Some benefits to all them steps.

Got a nice toilet to be sick in all the way out there. It's a long way for it to go do you think though with like your house is quite high it's like a terrace but like a townhouse almost high isn't it you just think it's a long way for all that all that water to go down in them pipes isn't it yeah well do you know what rob yeah we we occasionally have problems with the pressure won't go into that and then go to sleep go to bed yeah 5 15 the next morning yeah we can hear movement in my daughter's room she sleeps normally till seven yeah she comes in 5 15 says her stomach hurts oh no

you've not eaten for what nearly 48 hours at this point? Yeah, I'm in serious trouble. This is Thursday morning by this point. You're that weak. You know you've got no energy. Yeah. Is your rose better? Rose is better and I feel much better.

When I went to sleep on Wednesday night, I thought this is the worst I've felt since I had norovirus 10 years ago. Oh, norovirus is the worst. It wasn't norovirus. Well, I is the worst. It wasn't norovirus. Well, I don't know. It wasn't dissimilar. I nearly rang an ambulance when I had norovirus. Yeah.

And I had to open every window in the house because of the smell. Well, wait till Thursday night because I did get close to thinking, I mean, I'm actually going to... So guess what got worse? Well, I was better on Thursday, a bit better in the morning,

but very, very weak. Pathetically weak. Pathetically weak. Were you supposed to be working? I was meant to be doing Margates that night. That was just not going to happen. It would have been a disaster. I thought, I thought I'm going to do this.

And then my agent, Flo, she was like, basically, she made the correct assumption that it would have been a disaster. When it got to Thursday evening, bloody hell, it would have been a disaster. Okay, so you were in two minds, but they said, no, cancel this one so you can recover. So then what happened? So eight o'clock you got on stage. Well, then legally it turned out. So last leg.

Yeah. I had on Friday. Did you do it? Yeah. Because then I watched it. Yeah. Yeah. Of course.

When was the last time you were sick? Yeah. I was like seven 30 on Wednesday and they were like, well, you're not allowed on set within 48 hours of being sick. So legally I was able to do last leg leg but i had to just like turn up on the evening at about 8 p.m which is lovely yeah it was really good just keep saying you've been sick every wednesday morning i made myself sick every wednesday at 7 p.m from now on

so what happened thursday night couldn't do margaret um then you know when you're ill and you just descend in the evening yeah my daughter was sleeping in with us because she was ill oh by the way at about 9am she threw up on the floor of the bathroom that's a nice thing to clear up yeah on Thursday morning

poor Rose though because she's like recovered she's recovering she's furious yeah exactly because she's still weak but she's not the weakest no exactly

so she's having to do it all yeah and she's been lying there for three days quite excited about when she gets off her weakness weakness and then she's got this on her plate so Thursday evening yeah

basically I haven't been able to eat all day and been hardly able to drink any water because if you drink too much water it just sits there so you're basically doing tiny sips all day. So then I go to bed at 9pm. My daughter's... Basically, our daughter said she wanted to sleep in our bed.

I was like, fine. So I made myself a camp bed on my own bedroom floor, Rob. Really? Yeah. The bed that we'd used when we slept in with her when she was ill, I was on that, on our bedroom floor. Yep. And then in one of the better moments of the week,

she saw it and she really wanted to sleep in it. So thank God I got my bed back. Oh, so she went in that instead? She went in that instead on our floor. I went to bed at nine. I was like, this is exactly what I need. Yeah. I couldn't get to sleep because I started feeling these really awful,

aching pain in my kidneys. How did you know it was your kidneys? Because they're the back bit. The back bit at the bottom of your back. It's not like that. You've got little x-ray eyes.

How did you know it was your kidney? I know my body. You know you know what your kidneys are, mate. I basically think I was dehydrated. Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah. Kidney pain, dehydration symptoms. Yeah, that's short. Yeah. So I had to go downstairs. What happens through sweating, vomiting, diarrhea, and too much urine conditions such as diabetes, can also lead to dehydration.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what you had, mate. All done. Just started. So I'm an intern at a dentist now, so I'm quite good with helping people that run well. And then I had to go downstairs, slowly sip a diorolite for an hour to try and get some kind of rehydration. Went to sleep Friday, feeling a bit better.

I had to do last leg. That was all right. And then Saturday, wake up. I basically, because Saturday's's the palladium day you're in the red you've got to play an iconic venue the worst you've ever felt the worst i've ever felt very weak lay in bed for a bit and then rose was like are you not going to come to swimming with me to take my daughter swimming and i was like you've got to be fucking kidding me anyway so did you go swimming yeah i did do you know what it was the best thing i did because it was the first time where it like

took me out of the week and yeah it was like oh this is really nice and pleasant and this is actually i'm not thinking about the palladium or being sick do you Do you know what I mean? Well, that's the thing. I think whether, you know, obviously for us, it's like doing a show like that. But if it's like a big presentation at work or you've got a big event or a big thing that's happening and whatever you do, sitting around shooting on it never really helps.

So you're best off being distracted from it. And I think there's another thing with that, which is like when you're going through a stressful week like that, you'll be like, oh God, family stuff's adding to my stress. But actually, if you engage with it, it can take you out of your stress. Do you know what I mean? It can offer you an escape from the living hell of knowing you're performing at the Palladium without any food in your body for 72 hours.

So when did you, did you eat on Saturday? Yeah, so when I got there, What was your first thing you ate? I had a pizza express. Okay, what's up, just margarita?

Do you know what, I had a Veneziana, the one that gives 25p to the Venice fund. Oh, that's good of you. Because I'd had, I'd say,

three slices of toast over the previous two days. Yeah. And I was a bit bored of dough, so I wanted a bit of flavour. Romana? Romana base, yeah.

I didn't want to go for a big fat base. I thought that would be an error. Big fat base. Didn't want to go for a big fat base. Nice Romana, fair enough. Nice Romana. And did the show go well? The show went well, and thank God.

And do you know what, Rob? The energy after the show meant I could even have a drink. Oh, the adrenaline. You had a drink. I had a drink. I had a few beers after the show. i could even have a drink oh the adrenaline you had a drink i had a drink i had a few beers after the show we went for a drink afterwards i had vodka soda because i thought that's the most kind of yes yeah and then i was like do you know what this is a great night and then the bloody clocks changed and everything shut up early so what was one o'clock was suddenly i was in soho and it was 2 a.m and everything shut up early. So what was one o'clock was suddenly I was in Soho

and it was 2am and everything had kicked out. Oh my God, what a turn of events. I know. I couldn't book a... There was no taxis I could book, right? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to have to get a fucking night bus after doing the Palladium.

Did you get the night bus? Well, astonishingly, Rob. Tuck, tuck? That would have cost more money than filming the DVD. Well, well done, mate. That was a tough week. You done well there. Yeah, I'm knackered though, Rob.

I'm absolutely knackered. Have you got a busy week this week? I'm doing... Easter holiday soon. I'm doing a corporate and crew tonight. Fucking hell. I know. Off to crew.

Nice little drive to crew. Well done, Josh, for getting through. Getting the train to crew, Rob. Oh, you love a train. It's quick. It's a weirdly quick train journey to crew. So quick to get to crew. I might as well just be here.

We're so boring. We're so boring. Why are we so boring? Because we're old, Rob. Chester boring because we're old rob chester's nice i was in chester last week oh what a lovely city isn't it it's basically a small york but they don't like you saying that they hate that they hated it but i went for a walk for half an hour and i took in um the river a suspension bridge chester race course, a canal, the city walls, and then back to the river again. I was like, I think it's too small.

I love a city wall. I love a city wall. Yeah, they've got a good one. Can you walk on the Chester city wall? Yeah, you can. It's quite narrow, but you can. Yeah, Chester, Canterbury, York, big up the city wall cities. Yeah, York, I'd say, is my favourite city.

There you go. How's your week been? Don't tell the people of Chester that. How's the week been? Yeah, it's not too bad. I would say, oh, favourite city. There you go. How's your week been? Don't tell the people of Chester that. How's the week been? Yeah, it's not too bad. I would say, oh, better than that hospital thing. But we were putting up,

we didn't put off the girls going into Cee-loo, but they were a lot better once they saw her in the hospital because they were getting quite anxious, I think, about how she was because they hadn't seen her. And it was all funny. My four-year-old was like,

oh, mummy seems okay. Because she was like a lot better. She was on the right medicine and stuff. And then she went, I thought mummy was going was gonna look and did this sort of like sort of zombie face and crack me up so actually i think they're better off seeing where where like their parent is rather than just distracting them from it yeah and i was sort of trying to engage with their feelings where the eldest was going i miss mummy and before i was going well don't worry we're gonna go to you know we're gonna go to the shops and get a toy let them have that feeling

yeah and i was like and so i what i started doing was going yeah i miss mummy too and actually calmed her more because she was like oh i'm not a lie right i'm not feeling i'm not feeling mad i do oh that's all right we're all for missing mummy that's okay to miss mummy. So that helped a little bit. So if anyone else has got, are going for a similar thing, I found that massively helped. But that's a serious, serious bit of the week. Do you want to hear what's going on in our house?

Yeah. I woke up a bit itchy and then I convinced myself I had a new mole. Oh no. And I was like, oh no, I've got a new mole. And then, but then I found a picture of me, my top off and I zoomed in and it was an old mole. That's how I found out it was an old mole.

That is pathetic. Where's this picture from? Well, it's from a digital camera we've got that when I was working it out, seeing if it worked properly, and Lou took a photo of me with my top off, which was not very kind. You remembered this, and you're like, I've got that photo on the digital camera.

Yeah, and I zoomed in, and it wasn't. But, well, no, we're doing a photo shoot on Wednesday. Oh, God, we are. You might be much luck with the Parenting Hill photo shoot. It's that one in the digital camera. Yeah, and I zoomed in and it wasn't. But, well, no, we're doing a photo shoot on Wednesday. Oh, God, we are. You're not having much luck with the parenting ill photo shoots. That one in the Guardian, remember that one? Oh, that one in the Guardian was genuinely harrowing. Oh, not a big fan. I did a photo shoot last week at Romesh

and they tried to make us look cool. At one point, I had to do the Rockefeller symbol and they took a photo through my hands. Oh, my God. It was pencil. Do they know who they're photo shooting? Yeah, I said that. And they wanted me to sort of crouch low and have a picture,

but it just looked... Anyway, it's not... I don't know what it'll look like. I think they were trying to make us look a bit like hip-hop. But that's all right with Romesh. He can get away with that. I can't. I'm more Westwood than, you know, Westside.

I've got a parenting issue, Rob. What's your parenting issue? So my daughter did this, but my son now does it. Right. Which is that his preferred position now in the pram is he lies basically horizontal out of the pram like he's dead. I'm trying to find a picture of it here. What, to the side?

Yeah. So is this like a pram or a set-up? Like a chair on wheels pram. A push chair? A push chair. A push chair. A chair a chair you push yeah like a

it's that one you fold up and you can put in the oh that one the little yo-yo one the yo-yo so he's strapped in but he hangs out let me find a picture

while you're finding that picture this is quite funny with the girls because they've been missing their mum loads and been going oh I don't like you daddy I want mummy back

and all that because she was in hospital when she come back Lou was like no girls you need to do your teeth and i was like why are you so mean to me and then i went the grass isn't always greener isn't it look who's back laying down the law gutted gutted mug mug yes come on i've sent you the picture all right okay, okay, so they're hanging out. We can put this on them.

Also, we need to put that picture up of you when you were unwell. Oh, yeah. Make sure you send me that as well. Right, you sent me the picture, yeah? Oh, here it is. I've got it. Oh, like that. That's actually quite dangerous.

Yeah, so he's properly sticking out. So he's just falling out the pram to the left. That's his preferred position of sitting. So he doesn't sway between the middle and there. He will hang there for the whole walk. He'll just hang there for the whole journey. And your daughter did that as well. And my daughter did that as well.

And I was in Londis the other day, Rob. And this guy, he was about 15, he stopped me and he said, your son's fallen out of the pram. And I'm like, how do you explainam and I'm like I had to explain I'm like well no that's actually how he travels and you just it's really difficult

in Londis as well because you're going down the aisles and they're quite tight and you're like you're trying not to take his head out on like a packet of

you know crunchy nut cornflakes or whatever but is he could you tighten the straps to stop him doing that or does he get the ump because he can't

he prefers this and it's totally fine. So you're like, I don't... Is he totally fine? Well, no, that is... I think as long as you're aware and you're not banging his head, it's fine if he's happy. But you just feel like a mug when you're walking along the street.

You can see people looking at you. Yeah, I think as well, because they'll go, oh, isn't that that bloke? Isn't that that skinny bloke that had done his stand-up special on GB News? Yeah, but they will look at you and give you... Because people would look at you anyway if your kid's doing that. But then they go, oh, it's that Josh bloke. Oh, God, he is a bad dad.

He is a bad dad. He is a bad dad. I thought he would be, and he is a bad dad. That's weird, bro. I don't know if anyone else's kids have done that, but that is odd, isn't it? Yeah, if anyone's got any what whether that happened to them or anything like that do send them in because i'd uh it'd make me feel better about the whole situation

josh we do have a few things to um to make clear on the podcast we had lots of uh correspondence from a couple of things one about your feet growing in pregnancy there's been so many messages about feet growing so michael said please don't send any more right because we know basically um hello to the most sexy and relatable comics my son travis is now one and my shoe size remains one whole size larger than pre pregnancy my brother who did an s and c degree i don't know what that means strength and conditioning i don't know uh masters inform me that there is a muscle called the plantar fascia situated under your foot which can get stretched due to the weight of carrying a baby this reduces the arch height in your foot and then in turn makes your feet bigger this made

total sense i'm sorry to categorize but most mothers can no longer wear heels post pregnancy it is down to the weight we gain during pregnancy the smaller the arch the more painful it is to wear heels one of my passions was very nice shoes which i collected for over a few years and i cannot afford to replace my beautiful shoes that no longer fit me oh no i hope my husband hears this and helps to replace them because i'm owed a bunch of shoes it takes two to tangle many thanks courtney i've got an. What about shoe swapping website, which is going to be inundated with perverts. That's going to create all kinds of issues there, Rob.

But there we go. But if you collect shoes and you're a six and you find someone and you've gone up to a seven, you find someone that was a seven up to an eight or vice, whatever it is. Exactly. You get a long string and everyone's happy except the one person at the top.

No, it's difficult. Because if you're, you'll be able to find someone whose feet have gone up from five. Say you're as a six, you're... You'll be able to find someone whose feet have gone up from five... Say you're as a six, you're up to seven. You can find someone that was a five

that's now a six, but you need to find someone that was... A seven who's now an eight. Yeah. Yeah, everyone will find the one person that will help them,

but then there'll be someone who's a 12 who's gone up to a 13 or whatever. It's a Ponzi scheme. Yeah, exactly. It's a Ponzi scheme. But yeah exactly. It's a Ponzi scheme. But yeah, look, Lou, also as well, this is what Lou said about it,

which I don't know, the email seemed a lot more official from Courtney. Lou said, I thought it was your feet don't grow. It's the relaxing hormone, which makes all your bones move around so the baby can get out. Your bones spread out more. That's how you get injuries in pregnancy, because your joints are all stretchy. That's why your hips get wider after childbirth.

The joints get stretchy and stretch out, which doesn't seem as scientific from Lou. No, your body relaxing doesn't seem like that. I think relaxing is a hormone. There's a type of hormone called relaxin. It's not relaxing. Oh, God, I could do with someone telling that for free, mate. Get some hormone replacement therapy. Oh, yeah, relaxin is with someone telling that for free, mate. Get some hormone replacement therapy.

Oh, yeah, relaxin is a hormone produced by the ovary and the placenta with important effects in the female reproductive system. It relaxes the ligaments, not the bones. Ligaments in the pelvis and softens and widens the cervix. So sometimes that doesn't always click back in. Why the feet? Well, I think that must be the weight. So I think lou's got confused

with the with the hips they get wider because the ligaments are relaxed due to that hormone and then your feet stretch the arch basically stretches out so your feet don't really get bigger they just all get straight like a dough like basically pre-pregnancy, classic base. Post-pregnancy, Romana. Yes, okay. It's the same amount of dough stretched out. Yeah. Is that clear to people now? I still don't believe that about Romanas. It feels like there's more dough. It feels like there's more dough.

Yeah, but they're not going to do that. If they're telling you it's the same dough, if it was more dough, they would tell you about it because they're already charging you more. Yeah, but why are they charging you more? Because there's more toppings, I suppose. Man hours to roll it out. Man hours to spin it charging you more. Yeah, but why are they charging you more? Because there are more toppings, I suppose. Or man hours to roll it out. Man hours to spin it a bit more.

And extra toppings. I reckon it's the same toppings. Do you think it's the same amount of toppings? I think there should be some sort of Romana loyalty club you can have. Do you know what? I'm going to go out and I'm going to buy a Romana and I'm going to buy a normal pizza. Count the toppings.

And I'm going to count all the toppings and I'm going to weigh the dough. Please do that. Shall I do that? Shall we do that next week? Next record? Shall I do that live? You are never going to do that, but I'd love it. Are we recording? I don't think I can order a pizza express at this time in the morning.

When are we next recording? We're recording at 9.30am on a Saturday morning. You can order it the night before. Why don't I order it the night before because i'm in it's the first friday i'm in for 10 weeks because i'm last leg so so so next week it is i promise on next week's tuesday episode i will do a live uh topping count and weighing yeah and then you can always just warm them up and have them for lunch that day. Exactly.

Exactly. Yes. Is this going to be in the episode? It's got to be, isn't it? You can't make a promise like this and then cut back. It feels like we should be getting paid

by Pizza Express for this. Yeah. Well, if Pizza Express want to provide the... Oh, no, because we're... Annoyingly, we're recording the next one before this one goes out, Rob.

Yeah, I know. But no, don't worry about it. They're all right. Well, I'll surprise you with the pizzas. I'll surprise you with the pizzas. Yeah, I know. But no, don't worry about it. They're all right. Well, I'll surprise you with the pizzas. I'll surprise you with the pizzas. Yeah, but I'm just trying to think, what ones... Do you want dough balls? Dough balls.

It's always the same amount of dough balls. We don't need dough balls. That's just nice, aren't they? Yeah, but I'm not going to be with you and eating it. Oh, yeah, good point. What is this on Zoom? Oh, we've got loads of oldest and youngest listeners which we can do should we do that on friday should we do that on friday yeah and i'll tell you about um developments on the school

run but before that i've got this uh sleep timer on podcast again loads of people have messaged in you i didn't know this josh you can set a timer on your phone so you won't wake up to scary podcasts oh what so you only listen to so much podcast yeah so basically you press sleep after this episode oh how do you do that so if you well this is i don't know about all things but if you're listening on apple podcasts yeah if you're looking at a on the podcast and then bottom right is the three little dots and square so click on the episode right ignore the three little dots scroll down and underneath the three little dots is sleep timer oh look at that how long it is so you don't wake up to scary stuff oh do you know what the worst would be you're struggling to sleep you put on a podcast

yeah you put on your sleep timer and then you're still awake when it clicks off oh that is bad or you don't do your sweet time and you wake up to off menu and see a couple of pricks talking about garlic bread. Yes, yeah. Do you know what? They'll be fucking livid when they find out we're weighing a Romana base. Talk about parking our tanks on their lawn. Anyway, yeah, so you could do a sleep time on podcasts. Also as well on your music apps as well,

because Lou listens to spa music, right? To go to bed, like that sort of calming music. But she has it on out loud rather than headphones which is fine I don't mind it but then I came in late the other night

when I come back from Chester about two in the morning and it had gone on to some other random it was like two cats fighting I don't know what it was but you can do it on there as well

so don't email in anymore but thanks for that oh and this is a great falling asleep to a podcast related parent falling asleep to a podcast related parenting fail.

Very official email time. That's exactly our remit. That's our genre. This is from Claire. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'm listening to your last episode. Rob is talking about waking up to the true crime podcast. I frequently listen to true crime to get to sleep.

And I have my phone synced to my Bluetooth headphones. That is mental. That's too much. That is mad. I like a true crime, but not when you're sleeping. I just so happened to be listening to one, and I'd fallen asleep. My seven-year-old woke me up to tell me

there was a man talking about a woman who kills children in his room. Oh, my God. I was like, no, it's all fine. It's all fine. Completely forgetting what I'd been listening to. Took him back to his room, and my podcast had somehow synced to my son him back to his room and my podcast has somehow synced

to my son's Alexa in his room so he was in fact listening to the story of an notorious child killer oh my god I think that is

the worst parenting you can do that is genuine that is awful I don't mean to feel worse than you do but that is dreadful that's the worst parenting

we've ever heard I don't mean to feel bad about that that is the worst thing we've ever heard in two years of talking about parenting fails Claire with no I just C-L-A-R-E that is bad but we forgive you

I think it's only really bad parenting if you insist that he listens yes and accidents happen do you want to do a small business shout out? yeah why not we save oldest and youngest for friday yeah that's something to look forward to god we're trailing trailing some things friday we've got oldest and youngest the next tuesday we're weighing some

pizzas it's not it's non-stop um right um small business shout outs oh this is from live i'm just listening to a recent podcast where you discuss hire chairs my friend has a small business where you can make your ikea hire chairs more aesthetically pleasing oh that's a good idea if that's something people are interested in doing she also does lovely bibs and cutlery for weaning too her ig is at gray fox designs and it's g-r-e-y gray fox designs um because yeah that's nice because yeah it can make it a bit prettier because they're a bit bland, aren't they, the IKEA high chairs? So basically she pimps up, oh, they look great. Oh, that's good.

Oh, that's cool. That's a good idea. Oh, they look really cool. Well, that's a good one, that Grey Fox Designs, if you want to pimp up an IKEA high chair or get some bibs and cutlery. Do you want someone from the north rob because it's too southeast centric yes please hi guys please give the shout out to my husband's small business always plastered he can be found on facebook and is a plasterer who fits amazing bathrooms

he covers county durham newcastle and many surrounding areas and if you don't believe they're northern rob she adds it's a mint business name and the van stands out a mile on local roads. Give him a shout out for any work you want done. Love the podcast. Can't wait to listen to the teenage years as that is the phase we're currently living through. Joanne Atkinson, County Durham.

Always plastered. Always plastered. It is a mint business name. It is great. Mint. Absolutely mint, man. Oh, mate, that is mint. I wish I had accents in my locker.

Oh, can of Fanta. Can of Fanta. I've done this before with you. Yeah, can of Fanta. Why, hey, man. We're at you. That was Scottish, actually. Yeah, that was too much.

Yeah, I went too far north for that. Well, thank you very much for listening, and we'll be back on Friday with another celeb interview. See you then. Bye. See you. Bye. I'll tell you what's upset me now. Why is it £2.50 to cross the Dartford Crossing? It's a bridge.

You don't actually have to pay £2.50 to cross a bridge. I'd rather swim. And also, why do you get fined when you forget to pay it? You have to remember to pay it. You are getting fined for failing a memory test. It should be illegal. I tell you what I can't stand. Loud typists in cafes on trains.

How hard you need to hit the keyboard. Sounds like you're smashing it with a sledgehammer. What about people that run down the park with their prams? What are you doing? Yoga in public. Stop it. These are the sort of things that upset us. And we talk about them on our podcast,

What's Upset You Now, which is back every Tuesday and Thursday. We have a guest on every Tuesday and previous guests are included. Romesh Ranganathan, Catherine Ryan, Jack D, Rob Beckett,

Stuart Lee, Mark Lamar. Out every Tuesday and Thursday, wherever you usually get your podcast. What's Upset You Now is back.