Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP23: Why is my life so rubbish?

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

S04 EP23: Why is my life so rubbish?More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxWe're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK?Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there...ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley)28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Elsie, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. Oh, you're such a clever girl. Give us a kiss.

Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Shout out to Luke. Hi, Luke. Yeah, big up, Luke. That is a very, that is a sort of a Londoner accent trying to do a telephone voice, that. And I could tell from the good gill.

This is Emma, who's from Petswood. Yes, that's literally around the corner from me. And she's put, although Rob will probably guess my location, from the mention of Coopers. Right. Oh, yeah, I went to Coopers school. Yeah, well. This is my two-year-old niece, Elsie.

She's basically a three-foot-tall dictator, and we all bow down to her demands. She calls my daughters Bella and the other Bella due to the fact they're so similar looking. As you can imagine, my eldest daughter, Amy, hates this this the high look at the end is for amy's boyfriend who elsie seems to have a bit of a thing for the flirt that she's added that not me i would have asked my own children to make this recording however they're 14 and 17 i think they're deemed too old incidentally my girls both go to rob's old school cooper's in chiselhur Yes. I think their teachers have shown them your school photo,

which caused great amusement. There's a photo of me when I was using the sixth form prospectus. No. But I've got this mad air with like sort of big hair that was quite popular. Yeah. When would that have been? The early 2000s or even... What, like a kind of choppy haircut?

Yeah, just sort of. Like kind of gelled up in a mess. Yes, a bit like when Beckham sort of had that messy hair like. Yeah, yeah. And I had big glasses and then I was in the computer centre. Big glasses? Not big glasses, but just had glasses on and I had this horrible white shirt with like blue,

I've got to try and find this picture, with blue like pattern on it. I um basically taking photos supposed to have us just working and I kept on posing a bit like I was trying to pose like David Brent did you know David Brent poses at the end of his motivational speech so I did that and I sort of got my hand on my chin and I like smiled at the camera and it is mental I cannot believe it oh my god it's obviously it's obviously a piss take as well. So because it's in a prospectus. We have a laugh, though, don't we, at this school?

We have a bloody laugh in the IT suite. Look at this guy with his big old hair and big glasses like Timmy Mallet. We had a room called Click, and it was a computer learning information centre. Oh, they've worked that back from Click. And I remember when they went guys it might help you forget about in carter 97 the future's google and i was like what what is google and then i had to do a presentation and i was cheated i had to do this presentation which is a powerpoint

presentation all i did was my top 10 goals of all time and i just basically copied and pasted youtube videos of goals i reckon if i was 10 years younger i'd have been a youtuber do you think yeah but i'm so happy that um i didn't do that much i wouldn't have because i wouldn't be able to afford all the equipment don't let me get bogged down in the sort of privilege of youtubers oh is this the thing is it a class thing in youtubing like do you know what it is actually it's not really been addressed when basically like ks and all the sidemen who are all brilliant by the way but all went to this sort of private school and i've got no beef with them they're just they work really hard and they produce great videos

camera well they could afford nice cameras and supportive parents where if you're growing up in a you know a house where there's one computer like we had in the middle of the house it was as big as a fridge and three brothers are trying to fight to get on it and you had no you didn't have any sort of editing software you didn't have any cameras which is why bill gates did so well i read this in a book where his mum i don't know if i mentioned this before his mum worked at a library at a university in america and he was really into computers and used to go in with her every day she didn't have child care and he had access to this new computer where you could you could write um computer programs and he had access to that for eight hours a day for six weeks. And when the term started, they only had one of these computers

and obviously hundreds of computer students. They were allowed an hour a week to be shared between the campus. So he was so far ahead of computer programming and all his peers because he was doing it at like the age of 12, 13, and having access to these computers. It wasn't available almost worldwide, which people say helped his development. So if his mum hadn't been in charge of a library,

he wouldn't have started Microsoft, and then he wouldn't have planned a pandemic, would he, to make loads of money, right? Exactly. He wouldn't be injecting his serum up my arse. But anyway, I don't know got we've really gone off topic there we had an it suite yeah but we didn't have the internet on in our it suite no you used to dart more though aren't you no no it was just it was just because i'm older than you rob

no yeah no mate look let's let's be honest here there's still 56k modems knocking around your mum's house surely there's no way no we had the internet in my house at home. Oh, right, okay. At school. Have they still got 56k modem? Are they super fibre down there now? I don't know. They can't be super fibre.

Well, Plymouth's a city, mate. They're not running off dial-up. No, but Plymouth's 25 miles from where my parents live, Rob. Yeah, but that's local for down there. Exactly, but you can't run a super fibre from Plymouth for 25 miles, mate. Up the A38. Turn left at Drumbridge's Roundabout. Love all the local stuff. This is a really weird start, isn't it?

Shall I tell you about my IT suite at school? We have one computer at primary school for the whole school. That's what we're here for. One computer at primary school. Yeah. The BBC Basic. And then at secondary school, Rob. BBC Basic, I think that's what I'm called in the offices of the BBC

when I get gigs. We need a bit more BBC Basic. Get Beckett out, whip him out. I think Paddy McGuinness is BBC Basic at the moment, isn't he? Yeah, me and him share it. Danny Dyer pops up to drop a couple of balls. Look, guys, Monty Don's been on five times this week. Let's drop some H's, drop

some balls. Let's go, Danny Dyer. Oh, he knows who Monty Don is now. He's throwing him out like he knows what he looks like. Oh, mate, we don't get a reference point. Oh, we'll use it. Don't you worry about that. It sticks. Secondary school, we had a proper IT suite. But then no one could use it after someone stole all the balls for the mice.

That was a thing, wasn't it? Like to play marbles with. I found the prospectus photo, Josh. You're going to love it. I'm going to send it to you. Oh, yes, please. We'll put it up on the group, on the Instagram. I talk about this like we're on a WhatsApp group together.

We should start a WhatsApp group. Just get a number and everyone can join in. That would be mental. No, I don't want anyone to see when I was last online can you imagine the mad parenting memes that would get um you're gonna love this picture oh my words look at you go wipe them teeth out that was before coffee oh that yeah that is they are great teeth aren't they you have got awful glasses it's incredible isn't it that photo what what um what are you using in your hair, Rob? Because it's got a lot of life to it.

Do you know who that might be? That might be Pat's Wet Look Gel 39P from Aladdin's Cave, Elmhurst Street. Oh, the little tub with the bubbles in it? Yeah, that one. It used to be called Pat's. Ours was called Pat's and it was 39P, but I don't know if that was just the shot,

but it had Pat's written on it. That hair looks fucking rock hard. It is, because that's how dark it is. You could break a coconut on that hair. It made it so dark, having that much gel in it. Yeah, of course. But yeah, I look weird, don't I? Yeah.

Did you try and get into nightclubs at this point in your life? I look so young, don't I? Yeah. I was 17 then. Could you shave? No. Which is weird, actually, because I'm quite hairy now, but not then. Yeah.

Is this a podcast? Well, you know, it is a quite hairy now, but not then. Yeah. Is this a podcast? Well, you know, it is a podcast. It's certainly not a TV show. Oh, my God. I'm enjoying this show, actually. What's my concern? Michael's just sent an incredible picture of what I look like. I look so right.

It's so good. I look like the bloke from Jerry Maguire. The child from Jerry Maguire. You look exactly like theke from Jerry Maguire. The child from Jerry Maguire. You look exactly like the child from Jerry Maguire. That is incredible. Have you seen him now? He did Celebs Go Dating. Did he?

As an adult, obviously. Yeah. Not as a child. But he's quite a nice guy, actually. He had a kebab on a step with a woman from Newcastle. Oh, that's nice. I don't look like him, but I do look like him in that film. Yeah.

Well, you've both blossomed. We've both your week been rob oh it's been all right it's been a bit stressful because basically we're recording these a little bit in advance because we're having two weeks to have time with our families over easter and stuff so we're going to disney in florida which is our big family trip we've been looking we've had booked for two years okay so we're two years yeah well yeah about that because it got sort of moved and then covid so we've had it booked for two years and it's and it was quite you have to book so in advance with disney and um we are absolutely buzzing lou cannot wait i'm really excited as well but lou is just like hyperventilating is she a big disney fan oh my yeah she's been packing for about six months it's meant i've had like suitcases out

on a bed for months. Stuff arriving nonstop, going back, the right pair of walking shoes because it hurts your feet. But I'll talk all about Disney probably on the next episode when we're back. And has Lou been before? Never. We went to Disney in Paris. So is she excited, sorry, for herself or for her children? I'd say, okay, she listens.

And she is 100% excited for herself, but she'd want to go if we didn't have kids however she's also buzzing for the girls to see it all and stuff like that but i'm trying to calm her down a little bit because it's all stuff you can get when you are spending a lot of money and it's a big trip that you might only do like once it is a bit like you can put too much pressure on you've got to do everything and then you're not actually enjoying it and stuff and yeah you can't at the moment you can't properly meet the characters, but I think that changes the day we leave. Right. Where you can like properly like hug them and have photos.

But like, I'll be honest with you, Josh, I'm not that bothered about hugging a student in a Mickey Mouse costume. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Can I ask you the next question on Lou's love of Disneyland? Yeah. In case kids are listening, that is the real Mickey Mouse.

20 years time, your children have moved out. Yeah. Lou turns to and she goes i want to go to disneyland again just the two of us for a week are you going no i mean i don't know i've never been so i might love it but i can't imagine i'd want to go just me and lou that sounds bad if it's just me and lou and the kids are at uni or whatever. Yeah, you want to go somewhere else.

Yeah, exactly. Or what I'd say is, how about, why don't we go to the LA one? We've not been there before. And then go to somewhere that's not Disney for most of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or let's go to Tokyo. Go and see James Corden record his show live, something like that. No, I like James, but I don't.

It's busman's holiday, isn't it? Go and see. Yeah, because I'm doing loads of late night shows in Hollywood. It's exactly the same. i've always always chatting to sean mendez and doing jada pinkett smith songs oh god i'm in the audience normally obviously i'd be on that sofa but uh you know what it's like to relax enjoy it yeah yeah normally it'd be me up there just absolutely ripping it to uh 15 million people all over the States, but no, not today. Night off for me.

Yeah, just have a chilled one. But no, the stressful thing has been, though, we had to do a COVID test on Zoom in front of someone this morning so we could fly tomorrow. So how does that work, Rob? You basically worry for three weeks about your every movement. Talk me through the Zoom. Are they watching it like to make sure there's no sleight of hand magic going on well he's been stressed this week because

at time of recording do not get that do not move the syringe out of shot at any point show me your nostrils i want to see your full throat she was quite chill but we we were more worked up about it because lou's mum got covid didn't i told you that didn't i and she and she unfortunately couldn't help the the kids and stuff. And then her dad didn't have COVID, so I was helping the kids. Now he tested positive. And at the moment, it's one in 13 people have got COVID. It's the highest COVID's ever been, basically, ever.

Is it? Yeah, at the moment, just because. But no one's retesting because you don't really test. It's only America, I think, you still have to test to get there. So let's do this Zoom. And we've been getting stressed. And our kids keep having coughs. You know, kids cough, but you're laying in bed and i'm trying to be zen and all of a sudden at 6am you hear your kid coughing up well that's the holiday over that's and then you're

in your head going oh my god will we get our money back can you is travel insurance still valid for covid no it's not is it i don't know i don't know anymore it's like i don't know surely that surely they can't be insuring people for COVID. They'd be paying out all the time. It's like trying to claim back on the ash cloud now, isn't it? Yeah. So long ago. But, yeah.

So what was the Zoom like? So the Zoom is we sit there and you sort of feel physically and violently sick to your core that you might have to tell two children they're not going to Disney because they weren't taking social distancing measures seriously. Oh, God. So, yeah yeah you lay it all out on the table she has to see it all laid out you have to keep it all flat what sorry what are the the tests the tests so you have to open the test in front of them lay it all out in front of them you have to label the name of each person you're doing the test and then you have to do the test in front of them and then you just sit there yeah you sit there conversation while she watches the lines

come up yeah you sit there in front of a woman that could ruin your dream holiday oh my god and you're just looking at it and just that moment as the as you know that as the it goes up you know the liquid goes up and then exciting oh it's horrible it's no it's exciting if you want a day off yeah yeah exactly it's exciting if you're thinking, well, I might have to cancel a couple of gigs here. Yeah, just cancel. Anyway, but luckily it was fine and we're all set to go and we're very excited. I'll give you a full sort of Disney debrief

when we get back to let you know what to do and what not to do and that kind of stuff. Judge, who enjoyed it more, Lou or the kids? I think I know the answer already. All I would remember is when I did Disney Paris, it was only for a couple of days, my feet were pulsating at night. um judge who enjoyed it more lou or the kids i think i know the answer already yeah all i would remember is when i did disney paris it was only for a couple of days my feet were pulsating at night because of all the walking yeah but you'll have kids right so you and lou will be fine because they're going to be the ones that break first on the walking yeah but no but we're going to get a

put you can hire a little buggy thing because they will break. If you hire the buggy, then you can get them further and out for longer. But my techniques are going to be get up and get up early. We've got breakfast booked for 8am every day. Okay. Yeah, nice. But you wake up early in America anyway. Oh yeah. What's the time difference going to be when you get there?

It's a bit of a head fuck. I think, I don't know. I've not really got. Is it the same as New York? More or less? Because it's on the, Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So basically what happens, you'll keep waiting. It's on the East Coast.

You'll keep waking up early in the morning. Yeah, but your kids are going to be up six hours earlier than they're normally up, Rob. So what time do they normally wake up? 6 a.m. So they're going to be up at midnight. Oh, perfect, ready for the day. So we'll be in the park really early.

Yeah, just a six-hour wait till breakfast in the hotel room. I think you should move that breakfast earlier. See if they could do it at 2am. Like Mark Wahlberg. My kids sort of work out for two hours in the morning before we like hit the parks. But, but yeah,

so we're doing breakfast early, getting in the park early. And it's really complicated, Disney. Like you can, you have to book in which park you want to go to before you go to it. Even if you have access to all parks. What's it like?

There are loads of parks. I don't know. I've never been. We're going with another couple that know. And at the moment, I know nothing, Josh, which is quite liberating. It's not just you guys. There's other adults as well. We're going with another couple, and they're two kids.

But what's good about them is they've been before. Is this some of your holiday friends, Rob? No, this is Lou's friend and her husband. But I met the husband through, so we're sort of couple friends now. Yeah. Beloved couple, really nice. I'm on a prior op. Whatever you get up to in your private life.

No, he's the guy that brought the battery, the car battery, Steve and Jess, the guy who brought the car battery to camping. So he's very industrious. But they're really lovely, and they've been before, and also they've got a nine-month-old. So when we think it's difficult, we can just look at them. Yeah, they've had a night. So you said they booked the tickets two years ago.

She wasn't even pregnant when she booked the tickets, Rob. No, so I think she was just pregnant, so she couldn't even reserve the seat for the baby, but then she had to ring up and go, can I add a baby to my booking because she's going to be sat on the lap? Oh, my word. She nearly forgot. She only did it

a few months ago. It's going to be sat on the lap from London to Florida. Yep. Oh my giddy aunt. So it's great for morale because I had a real morale boost. Is it a daytime flight

or an evening one? So we've got, we've got daytime flight out there, which isn't, which isn't, shouldn't be too bad because they'll be excited and they've got iPads and stuff.

Six hours. Tablets. I think it's nine. Nine? I think it's nine hours because it's over and down a bit, isn't it? It's down. I forgot about down. It's down.

You always think across with flying, but you forget about down. You never think about the down, do you? It's always the up and along. Nine hours. Baby on the lap. I want a figure now, Rob. Yeah. How many minutes are you going to put in with the baby right so this is our politeness they were going a bit like oh we're a bit worried

about the flight because it's about you know totally understandably they're like oh god it's a lot if she sleeps it'll be fine blah blah blah anyway lou and well it's fine that there's four of us we can all just take like two hour shifts i went what i literally at dinner went can i say something i'm not gonna do that if lou? I'm not going to do that. If Lou wants to hold your baby to us, that's fine. But there's a reason why I haven't had more. This is my chill time. Two hours.

Would you prefer to do that in a straight two hours or in a, like everyone does five minutes and it's just passed around? Two hours off the top. I said to him, what you need to do is you two need a schedule. We'll take your older one. He can come and do some colouring in or whatever. But the younger one,

that's on you. Do two hours each, but make sure when you're doing your two hours, you don't bother the other one. And then the other one can properly watch a film, properly relax.

That's what me and Lou used to do. We'd be like, you do two hours of a film and I'll do the kids and swap. Where if you're both, what happens is if you're both trying to do it, you're both doubling up on work, you get stressed and snappy with each other so just let some person

and then you know even if you hate it you know i've only got another hour and a half of this until my partner takes over yeah that's that's the best way there but there's no way no offense i love you jess and steve you're a lovely couple but i'm not looking after your kids for two hours on a plane no why could you imagine it? You'll do 10 minutes, won't you, Rob? No. This is insane, Rob. Why?

Am I being mean? I think as a gentleman, you should do three hours. No, look, as a human with a heart, if it's kicking off, I'll go, do you want me to hold it for a sec while you sort that out? But putting my name down like some sort of shift pattern, going to work, doing a shift at Sanger's, taking over yoghurts for the morning. No way.

Two hours in a plane seat is the longest time in the world with a nine-month-old. Well, yeah, it is. I mean, for full transparency, we are going Traveller Plus, which is basically premium economy. That's all right, Rob. No, but I get annoyed about this when you sometimes hear people moaning about flights and stuff like that and then it actually works out they're like laying down in a bed with a nanny you know what i mean yeah so like full transparency we have i have gone business

class before but we go in it was too expensive it was so mad money but we're going premium economy there and back and uh you get a little bit of extra legroom and a slightly bigger chair but um yeah you're still sat up for the for the journey yeah so that why you're going in the day as well because night time in one of those well it's not it's a night flight on the way back oh but i can sleep anywhere mate i'm not worried about you rob it's not all about you i won't worry about the couple with a nine month hold on their laps for a night flight who are in okay they've got a bit more legroom but they aren't horizontal rob they're not horizontal i know i know they're not but yeah that's that's the thing but it's oh mate it was mental the the flights are really expensive

at the moment um yeah uh so but we we were actually looking back got quite a good deal on the flights because we booked it so far in advance so it's all very exciting how many days you going for two weeks two weeks i've not done a two-week holiday forever so the whole of easter basically oh my god so we're really lucky so we're so excited so yeah we're very excited but i'm looking forward to uh reporting back it feels like i don't know i was half thinking could i could this be claimed as a work expense it's a bit of a piss day could it two weeks for me to do a five-minute anecdote in a month's time. Well, I don't know where the... Where's the line?

Where's the line, Rob? Like, are our children a work expense? Because if they are, Rob... Well, exactly. There's a lot of things I'm not claiming. Yeah, I haven't claimed anything. I always forget. I always feel guilty to do that, but maybe we could.

Do you know what, Rob? You can backdate seven years, can't you? Can you? Yeah, you can backdate seven years can't you can you yeah if you you can back date seven years if because you could go obviously when i had my first child yeah that it wasn't a business at that point but that was just me laying the foundation to the business i was later starting that was almost a research because i remember when i went freelance i could claim back computers from seven years in advance. Wow. So basically what we're saying is, because I remember now,

Josh, actually that's prompted a memory that we were talking about doing this podcast almost about 10 years ago when we first met. We did together. We said, once we got kids, let's start that bloody podcast. And then we went,

what we'll do is keep a journal, do loads of things that's related to parenthood. And then we'll, when we get that, then we'll do is keep a journal, do loads of things that's related to parenthood, and then when we get that, then we'll do the podcast when that all comes together. Exactly. And there'll probably be another pandemic by then, which will be a good time to start. And then I said, Rob, what's a podcast?

And you said, I don't know. I don't know yet, but I've had a vision. If you record it, they will listen. But anyway, yes, I'll report back. If you're listening from the HMRC, I won't be paying much next year because there's a lot of backdating. Get ready for the refund, bitch. That's what I'll say to them in a brown letter.

Let's stop talking about tax. Rob's going bloody business next time he goes to Disney. I can tell you that for free. I'll buy a plane like Travolta. Yeah, just going to need to claim back that 15 million on the jumbo jet. Just a bit of research. Yeah, we go to Florida once every seven years, so I do need it parked at Stansted for that time.

I've been doing – I was doing some travel admin this morning, actually, Rob. Okay, cool. Yeah. Good luck. I'm here for you. No, but I'm just saying, go. I want to ask your advice on that. There's two bits of football admin I've been doing this morning, Rob.

Okay. One, I've been putting in all of the World Cup fixtures that I don't want to put work in during. That's a good idea. You've got to get them in now. Yep. And it's inexcusable if come November and December, you go, oh, I didn't know that England might be in the World Cup semifinals.

Well, as a public service announcement, why don't you put them dates out so people can pencil them in? Put these in your diary. England's first game is on the 21st of November. Our second game is on the 25th. I've got last leg, but it's too late. 29th of November, I've got bloody Lapland, Rob. Oh, what the Christmas got?

Oh, the thing I told you about last year. Yeah, so I've got that 9pland, Rob. Oh, what the Christmas got? Oh, the thing I told you about last year. Yeah, so I've got that at 9.30 in the morning, so I'm going to have to rush back for England versus Wales, Scotland or Ukraine. I don't know, but it looks like it's one of the later ones, maybe 4pm, something like that. How long does Lapland last? You're in trouble here. No, I'm not.

No, I'm not, surely. You're in trouble here. No, I'm not. You're in a bit of trouble here. No, I'm not, surely. What's Lapland from your ass? Hour and. You're in a bit of trouble here. No, I'm not, surely. What's that land from your house? Hour and a half, two hours? Yeah.

Okay. That's an early start, isn't it? I'd suggest get a Premier in nearby, or maybe as a little treat. Yeah. You don't want to be getting up at 6am to drive to Ascot. I might treat myself to a night at a hotel than that.

Here we go. Here's the idea. This is the way you survive. If you try and get there and back to your house in a day, you're in trouble. Okay. So what I'd suggest is get a hotel for a couple of night nights make a weekend of it

what in ascot yeah it's lovely hotels in ascot but then stay there the night before that might get one because you can go to coral reef the leisure center that's a really good swimming pool for the kids go there go swimming with them go back to the hotel stay over early start at lapland the next day and then after lapland go back to the hotel. Stay over. Early start at Lapland the next day. And then after Lapland, go back to the hotel for another night so you're not rushing about. I'm not watching England's third game in a hotel on my own, Rob. Sounds great. No, I need people.

Where do you watch it? No, you don't. You hate people. No, the England game's the exception. They're the one time I like people. Okay, so where do you want to watch that? In a pub or at your house? Well, the problem is normally I'd watch it in my garden

because normally the World Cup is during the summer because that's what is right and good with the world but suddenly corruption of the highest level has led to me not being able to watch world cup in the garden and think of the ratings for the jungle worse things yeah um but i'd say you're going to struggle to get back from ascot and get out to a pub. Nine should be fine. It's about an hour and a half the first bit. You'll be in the other bit for about two hours. What's the other bit?

I don't need the other bit. So basically you go through a sort of immersive experience thing, Christmassy thing, and then you go into a bit where there's ice skating, there's shop, there's places to get food. You can stay in there for a couple of hours. There's loads of things for the kids to see. I'm moving it. I'm moving it then you're moving around and then sometimes you can get caught in a queue um because you have to queue to see father christmas

at the end no no no no no no no this is not you don't want to be clock watching so i say you move it or you or you try this is not what i need how do i move it could someone who's listening from lap land uk no no you you sort this out for me? You can't do that. That's not fair. This is not what this podcast is about. Not you sending a flare up for help. You've done this.

You sort it out. That's what a normal parent would have to do. Don't start using your privilege to get your fucking date moved, mate. Rob, that's the only reason I'm doing this. We just spent 20 minutes talking about how we could get our tax back on it. Oh dear. Lapland. Yeah.

Booking confirmation. I'm sure you might be able to move it to another date if you email them now. Yeah. I mean... You might just have to pay more if it's a better or worse date. Oh, I don't give a shit, Rob. You're paying early though, aren't you? November. Yeah, because there wasn't many dates left, Rob. Oh no, you're in trouble. Oh God. Well, she doesn't know she's going yet, so the whole't many dates left, Rob. Oh no, you're in trouble. Oh God.

Well, she doesn't know she's going yet, so the whole thing's a write-off. She's never going to know. Okay, fair enough. Oh, I've got a couple of things. Have you got things to talk about from your week, Josh? This has been a bit of a Miranda episode. Yeah, I have, actually. I've got a few things as well, if you want to kick off. Well, I was going to talk about some more travel

admin. I wanted your advice on this. Oh yeah, sorry, go on travel admin. Yep. More football travel admin. Yeah, okay. I've got Ply yeah, sorry. Go on, travel admin, yeah. More football travel admin. Yeah, okay. I've got Plymouth Argyle look like they could be in the playoff final, Rob. Oh, Wednesday, the playoff final. At Wembley, 21st of May. 21st of May. I'm at Durham Gala Theatre.

Okay, so I've got the same problem. Dillian White and Tyson Fury, one of the biggest fights I've wanted to see for years, is on the same day I'm doing Eastbourne. Now, boxing's late in the evening, right? So it's gone for me. Is that over? There's no chance. Unless I pull the gig

and they'll know what I'm doing. Well, that's the problem with this, Rob. Are the people of Eastbourne worth sacrificing for that fight? I basically have to accept if I cancel that gig, I never gig in Eastbourne again.

Yeah, and everyone hates you. Yeah, but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to upset the people of Eastbourne. What time is the fight? Probably start about 10, 10.30. My gig will finish at 10. Oh, right.

You can't come down too early on that. I've got a quick gig. We're starting at 6pm tonight. So I've got 21st of May. Yeah. I've checked the times. I'm presuming it's a three o'clock kickoff. Yeah.

Is that right? I know. And it's unfortunate, isn't it? I could get a 5.30 train, Rob, and arrive eight o'clock. Support goes on. I'll be fine. You won't be fine. So you've got to get from Wembley to what time will the game finish?

I think I'm going to have to leave the game. Presuming there's injury. I'm going to have to leave the game more or less exactly before injury time start i'm gonna have to leave the game about 4 35 i think about 10 minutes left is that gonna be weird i've never left a football match early in my life that is gonna be weird you might go to extra time what if you're gonna miss all the best bit i know is it better not to go or to go for a bit? I think if you had a gig in London, trying to get to Durham is going to be mental. You're going to be stressed the whole time.

You might as well get up to Durham earlier. Of course I'm going to be stressed. It's the playoff final, Rob. This matters far more than a gig in Durham. You might as well get up to Durham early and find a pub with a Plymouth supporters group in there. Oh, yeah, the classic Durham Plymouth supporters club. You'll find someone. Or if there's any Plymouth fans

that are going to be watching the game in Durham, you could go and join them in a pub. I don't want new friends, Rob. Oh, you want new friends at Lapland now, don't you? It's all right now, isn't it? It's all changed. Oh, God. Why is Lapland on that bloody day?

What a nightmare. Okay, you can't go to the playoff final, I'm afraid. Oh, why is my life rubbish? I didn't get to go to anything. You'll be there at Lapland at 9am, bright and early. Reindeer's still asleep. Oh, for crying out loud. What's been happening in your week then, Josh?

A lot of big questions. Yeah. Death. Oh. She found out about death. Oh, your daughter? No, my wife. You've got to come to one of your gigs. Oh, yes,? No, my wife. Did she just come to one of your gigs?

Oh, yes, please. Lovely bit of business. I couldn't even get it out of me, though. I felt mean. How old is she? Four now? Five? Yeah, four. They've been discussing it at a nursery. Oh, why? Not with the teachers. The kids. Between themselves? Yeah. One of the kids told

her when her heart stops, she dies, which is not ideal. Oh, no. Yeah. Because of the kids told her when her heart stops, she dies, which is not ideal. Oh, no. Yeah, because then you keep thinking about your home. Because it is true. You can't deny it. She's not wrong. Yeah.

So Rose had to deal with that conversation. So it's been quite intense. She's also got really into the Queen. Has she? Yeah. Isn't that weird? It's because what they talk about at school, they must be talking about the Jubilee and all that. I think there was a Peppa Pig where they go and meet the queen that

she watched oh well mate if she likes pepper pig and the queen that little open that bus tour you go on to have afternoon tea pepper pig one she'll love that you go past buckingham palace yeah well i said we could go and look at buckingham palace she said can i meet the queen i wanted to go well not really but then she was looking on my phone at pictures of the queen right have you got photos of the queen no she was like can i see pictures of the Queen, right? Have you got photos of the Queen? She was like, can I see pictures of the Queen? So Google image search the Queen. And she's going through all these photos on the Google image search.

Yeah. And she's like, what's happened to the Queen here? And it was one of those photos. It's obviously from some kind of conspiracy David Icke website. And it was like made to look like the Queen was a lizard. It was absolutely awful imagine obviously

you're just gonna you're not into like lizard conspiracy theories but imagine if you were that's your time where you go well I didn't know when

I needed to tell you but there's a lot of lizards running this place she's Queen Liz Queen Lizard oh is that why she's called Queen Lizard

and made the connection exactly come on open your eyes people wipe the shit out your eyes and look at the stars He's Queen Liz, Queen Lizard. Oh, is that why she's called Queen Lizard? I hadn't made the connection. Exactly. Come on, open your eyes, people. Wipe the shit out of your eyes and look at the stars. Oh, my God. Queen Lizard, the second. They're all lizards.

Oh, that is disappointing. Of course she's a bloody lizard. There we go. Better than a nonce. Better to be a lizard than a nonce. Exactly. And we're not, that's a general point. It's not about anyone in particular.

Yeah, that's not pointed at anyone. I'm just saying in general, it's better to be a lizard than a nonce. Exactly. And we're not, that's a general point. It's not about anyone in particular. Yeah, that's not pointed at anyone. I'm just saying in general, it's better to be a lizard than a nonce. Correct. Amanda. I mean, I'll always stand by whatever happens.

Whatever lizards do, it can never be as bad. But yeah, there is one of her as a David Icke lizard, isn't there? Yeah. So that was an interesting, so it's been quite

an intense week, but lizard rulers and death. Yeah, that's just life for kids, isn't it? Yeah, it's just life. Always something going on, isn't it? I'll tell you what's been going on at the school. We had this... Because we get...

I think we should open a thing called weird emails from school as a phoner. Okay. The school my kids go to. Obviously, the older kids go there. Well, yours is still at nursery. But we had this email from the school. So there's older kids that go there that you know like year six isn't because i think it's a primary school um but this this email come through uh this

is an urgent message for all parents of kids at this school okay the police have been made aware of several messages of a planned water fight to take place in Bromley Glades Shopping Centre on Friday the 1st of April and that children from across Bromley are planning to attend. Having reviewed these messages, there are concerns that substances other than water may be used. Oh, my word. Oh, no.

Piss. We are therefore asking parents to ensure they advise the children not to attend Bromley Shopping Centre after school on Friday. The Glades. Or take part in... They're still trying to call it Into. No-one's having it. It's The Glades. Take part in any events that are being advertised on social media.

A dispersal zone will be in place and areas surrounding The Glades will fall under Section 34 of the Antisocial Behaviour Crime and Policing Act 2014 and their police officers will be there. That's a bit scary, isn't it? That's pretty intense, isn't it? But my daughter went. She said it was mainly water.

Your daughter went? No, I'm joking. I told you this. This was a crime, Rob. Or was it a crime? I told you this, but I'll just tell it again for the listener. I was walking on the street with my daughter and my wife back from swimming yeah and um a car pulled up drove down the road yeah totally smashed up bonnet totally smashed up at the front tires uh down so it was like

going on the floor like yeah flat pulled up next to us and he said next to us and he had a parking ticket in his windscreen wipe as well. Yeah. And he said, does it look bad? And I said, yeah, a bit, yeah. And then he just drove off. What's that all about? It's edgy East London for you, isn't it? But what's happened?

I think there's a lot that's happened. Has he stolen it? But if you've stolen a car, you don't stop anyone to ask, does it look bad when you're in a fleeing car? No, I don't know. I think he's probably just insane, isn't he? He's probably just having an episode, poor sort. Does it look all right?

Yeah, mate, keep going. You're all right. You should, because obviously the car was very low to the ground. About 10 yards after seeing us, he hit a speed bump and it sounded very bad indeed but that's the thing well another thing about edgy east london is we promised to weigh a pizza didn't we last week the romana against the classic and see what was heavier and the pizza express yeah the pizza express romana is two pounds more so we were trying to

see is it the same way is it the same amount of dough is it the same amount of dough just spread out yeah or is it more dough or is it more toppings and what we paying for essentially more dough more toppings or man hours of rolling it out yes and you couldn't do it because apparently there is no pizza express that delivers to you even though you live in the what zone two of london yeah i'm out of the pizza express zone because the nearest pizza express would be in probably in sh Shoreditch, would it? And it's too far. So you've got nothing. It's too far.

So you had to get poor producer Michael on a Friday night to weigh a pizza for you. Not just one. Two pizzas? Two pizzas. And I'm going to say it now, Rob, along with the theme of the episode, he's claiming that back.

There's no way that's not going through the Inland Revenue. Right, so have you got the results to put people out of their misery? Michael. Hello. Hello. Oh, Michael, are you going to deliver the results, Michael? Yeah, why not? I would like to say I live about one minute from Josh,

so I don't know if this delivery thing stands up. It's bullshit, Michael. He's taking the piss. He's taking the piss out of you. Did this interrupt your Friday evening, Wayne, this pizza? Yeah, it did. I had already ordered dinner, and it was that classic thing of both of them turning up

at very similar times, and it was too close for me to go down, come back, and go down again. So the Pizza Express arrived first first and i was there holding two boxes and i also ordered some tiramisu because i fancy tiramisu and then i just was stood there waiting for about three minutes for the curry to arrive and then the second delivery driver turns up and i'm just stood on my doorstep with two pizzas and he refused to believe it was me he just thought i was some guy collecting people's takeaway from this building did you eat the pizza uh no it's still in my kitchen i had one slice because you can't order

two pizzas and not have at least one slice but i ordered i know you're a vegetarian josh but i um i wanted to order something i would potentially eat so i ordered the american um and also because i don't i don't really know how to count melted cheese, I know we had to count the ingredients. So, I mean, how do you want to do this? Here's a criteria that I've broken it down into. We've got the price and the increase in price difference. We've got the weight, and then we've got the volume of slices of pepperoni.

And I've worked out the percentage difference for each of those. Great. Okay, well, just hit us with the facts. So so you got the price of both pizzas so one's classic yeah we're not even getting paid for this is not an advert by the way this is just three men no because i think we're about to bring them down people in pizza express hq who are sweating buckets listening to this podcast. So price, what are the prices? The Classic is £10.95.

The Romano is £12.90, which works out roughly a 15.1% increase in price. I've written that down. I've got no idea why I've written that down, but I have. Good on you. The weight difference uh the classic comes in at 640 grams of which the box is 320 grams and the romano weighs 720 grams of which again the box is 320 grams now i made a mistake the first time i weighed them in this individual boxes but what i then had to do was decant the romano from the bigger box romana it's romana we can't let that we can't let this go more than six times but yeah it's romana we can't you can't we can't let you say it wrong six times in a row it's like a couple of times but it is a romana base that way 720

which is a 12 roughly a 12.1% increase in weight. So you're not getting the increase in weight in terms of the increase in price there. Who's in charge of this venue? Rishi Sunak? He's never been to a pizza express in his fucking life. Billionaire bastard. Big billionaire

bastard. He married a billionaire, mate. Watch him try and say Romana. he hasn't got a fucking clue so then the uh finally pepperoni slices yeah on the classic there were 23 slices of pepperoni that's good and on the romana there were 26 slices, which works out an 11.5 increase in pepperoni. Oh, it's better to go classic. It's better to go classic for a bang for your buck. Well, that is huge. That is huge. They could argue the price increases involved in the extra man hours of,

sorry, person hours of rolling out the dough. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or maybe the... Just chuck a couple more slices of pepperoni on it you tight bastards yeah come on fuck me or or i suppose it takes extra extra space up in the pizza oven but i don't know i'm not buying it i'm not buying it well there we go what's your answer people if there's any other things you want us to look in um anything else you want michael to weigh i'll do it if it falls within my deliverer jurisdiction josh will get some sort of fish taco van that only works in one square mile of east

london i'm i can i can access frankie and benny's i can access everywhere don't worry about me harvester toby carvery did you do think you're going to eat the pizzas, Michael? I got up about half seven this morning. I haven't had any breakfast, so it's been playing on my mind for the last two hours. That's your lunch. Enjoy it. A lovely reheated pizza. There's nothing like it. Sure, it was bought strictly for work purposes.

That's the problem, isn't it? Michael, what do you want? Do you want to get a tax rebate or do you want to worry about food waste? That's the difficult situation you're in. It's not easy as Chancellor, is it, Michael? Thanks for doing that, Michael. That is an absolute pleasure. Thank you, Michael.

That's much appreciated. Love that. Love the percentages. That really helped sort of get it locked in my head. Josh, do you want to do – I've got a couple of um things you may not know about i can run past you oh yeah go on tell me some things and then we'll do some instagram messages okay if i say the word hasbulla to you no come on i don't know what that is what it's a person i don't know who that is what what one word what is it a brazilian football no he's a um internet celebrity he's an 18 year old there's no such thing rob not in my world he's an internet celebrity. He's an 18-year-old. Oh, count, there's no such thing, Rob. Not in my world.

He's an 18-year-old man, but he's very small. He's a little person, and I think he's only like three and a half feet, but he's been trying to do celebrity boxing, and he's become quite an icon. If you Google Hasbulla, it's this guy, and he's been in the UFC ring with Khabib. You know Khabib? No.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, I see him. That guy. They know why he's been hanging around. He's been trying to fight other people of similar build in a fair fight. I'm looking at a picture of him squaring off against someone of a similar build.

And yeah. Yeah, he's... Is this entertainment these days? Is that how it works? I don't know what it is, but what I would say is he's, people have cardboard caps. Is this entertainment these days? Is that how it works? I don't know what it is, but what I would say is he's very well known. Yeah, so he's sort of

an internet celebrity. I've got another one as well. Do you like UFC, Rob? I do actually. I've been getting into it more. The Michael Bisping documentary is amazing. Have you seen that?

As a sports documentary, it's unbelievable. I rented it on like Prime or whatever it was on and it's, do you know he was blind in one eye, but he fudged all the tests so he could fight

and he won the world title with only vision in one eye. Oh my word. Fair enough. He's from Clitheroe and he, Manchester, and like fought in Manchester

then moved to the UFC in America and he's unbelievable. He's really funny as well, but his Bisping documentary is amazing. So yeah, that's got me into it even more. Would it be fair to say

if someone tells you they're like UFC, that is a red flag? Not anymore. I think if you say bare knuckle boxing or cage fighting that those sort of combat sports do bring those sort of rough people however they're like ufc is not like that at all now it's not even rough it's not rough rob it's just boring stoners that tell you that joe rogan's got the answers to the world. No, they're not all like that. I mean, at the moment, there's some amazing British UFC fighters, Paddy Pimlitt, Molly Meatball McCann, and Tom Aspinall. He's amazing.

Molly who? Molly Meatball McCann. Molly Meatball McCann? Yeah, yeah. That's because she used to work at Subway. No, fuck off. That was my life, yeah. No.

Molly Meatball McCann used to work at Subway, and she's now a UFC fighter. She had a massive knockout. There was a fight in London a few weeks ago. I'm glad that's where that sentence went, because I thought you shouldn't be talking about her like this, Rob. Yeah, it was late at night in Subway. Someone ordered an extra meatballs, and she'd give him an elbow.

But Tom Aspinall's an amazing fighter. He's probably going to be the heavyweight champion of the world. Molly Meatball McCann. Yeah. So Hasbulla's sort of big in those circles. And next one, Cow the Dragon. No. He's a TikTok star.

Oh, come on. Cow the Dragon? Yeah. Am I 400 years old? I think so, but then I don't know if I'm sort of tragically dragging himself through youth culture that doesn't need or want me. You know when Mr Burns goes to school

and goes to pretend he's a school kid? Is that you little bit yeah maybe that's it i need to grow up accept my age um but yeah well you don't know who those are fair enough and roger we do a quick instagram message and then some small business shout out yes boomer parenting we always like these okay hello i hope you're both well my husband and i listen to your podcast all the time and absolutely love it. And we'll be coming to watch you both in Manchester next year. Tour tickets are on sale, people, if you want them. Oh, yes. Tour tickets are on sale.

Your podcast has got me through many stressful walks trying to get my one-year-old son to nap. He's only just started sleeping through with sleep coaching. Wowzers. Oh, my word. Anyway, I wanted to share a Boomer parenting story. When I was five, we went on a family holiday to Florida. Oh, this is convenient. Here we go.

We regretted the flight. There was a man next to us who wouldn't take the baby for even 10 minutes. It was unacceptable. We stayed in a lovely villa with a pool. One evening, there was a thunderstorm, and I knew that water attracts lightning and was convinced that lightning would strike our pool. My dad decided to get in the pool at this point, and I was screaming and crying for him to get out before he struck by

lightning oh god he then proceeded to pretend to be electrocuted in the pool and went face down i screamed i'd run into my bedroom and it took my parents a good half hour to calm me down pretty sure i was traumatized for life anyway i love the podcast thanks for keeping me saying katie incredible i've got a boomer parenting story from my mom oh yeah so she used to tell me and my brothers if you smoked it may you died what so that smoking if you smoked you died so like not was there not a lot of evidence in front of your eyes that that wasn't true like you must have seen loads of people smoking well no not really so this is what happened so my mom no one really smoked uh when my brother my older brother was little anyway um i think this is

when you could still smoke on the bus like this is years ago and um he just thought if you smoked you died just like you know not like you know you die over time and it's not good for your body you're instantly dead so he she told him and he was about five or six i was on the bus and someone lit up a cigarette and he just went mom they're gonna die die. Oh, my God. And then she was, like, trying to calm him down, but he was just like, and he was just obsessed with, because he was basically just watching them drag, going, right, when are they going to keel over?

Oh, my God. And then they had to get off the bus before they saw it happen, so he just assumed that, like, further down the road, they just keeled over. Why did he think they'd gone for the cigarette? Quite a big decision that, isn't it? It's not,

the traffic's not that bad. Bloody hell. Come on, mate. He's on there like that, but I used to travel first class on the train. Look at me now. Come on,

mate, you'll get back there. Isn't that mad that people used to smoke on a bus? I know, imagine it now. It's fucking insane. Just to feel, like that thing when you come home from a night out, your whole wardrobe would stink.

There'd be a big pile of clothes that stunk of smoke. Imagine, you're on a bus now and someone lights up a cigarette. You would be going, this is insane behaviour. This is unacceptable behaviour. Well, I've got another Boomer one, and then we'll do another thing that's not Boomer,

but they're so good, these. Dear Robin Josh, thanks so much for bringing us laughter. Sorry, don't do the compliments. Dear Robin Josh, I live near Heathrow, but grew up on Hailing Island. Every Saturday I'd spend with my nan. She was the best, but brutal with some things she said and did. I think it's always difficult to call someone the best

when the next sentence is brutal. Yes, yeah. I think it's always difficult to call someone the best when the next sentence is brutal. I'll never forget the day I was at my nan's house and she was taking me to the shops to get her shopping. We got in the car and we're driving to the shops when it started pouring with rain and my nan reached back and gave me a feather duster and kitchen roll. I looked at her puzzled. She said, the window wipers haven't been working and I need you to lean out the sunroof with the kitchen roll right around the feather duster and wipe the rain off while i drive i thought she was joking she couldn't have been more serious that is so we drove all the way home with me praying no one i knew would see me while i got soaked out of the sunroof cleaning the windscreen, Charlotte. That is, fuck, that's like Mr Bean.

But he's driving it with his feet. Yeah. That is so mad. Unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah. Like,

like you're on a hen do. That's the only other place people come out of sunroofs, isn't it? Yeah, hen rooves on a limo. Yeah. Or,

yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Tupac, did he used to go out of a sunroof didn't it wasn't he get the sun maybe i've made that i'm sure i've seen footage of that night when he was shot where he's out the sunroof but i've made that up he definitely wasn't out the sunroof oh my god i've just googled two pack sunroof and i'm not getting much back mate okay. Okay, fair enough. My mistake. It might have been. You might be right. Another conspiracy around the biggie and Tupac.

Yeah, I mean, let's not speculate on that. I don't want to get caught up in the East Coast, West Coast beef, even at this late stage. Particularly with you flying out there. Yeah, exactly. I'll have a blue bandana on my back pocket on the Little Mermaid ride. I've got another Instagram here. So it's about the two fairy and her failure to sometimes turn up.

So if you listen to kids, you might want to pause it. Hi, guys. I was a podcast virgin until my friend recommended that I give you guys a listen. And ever since I'm hooked, listening to Rob's two fairy foul on the latest episode reminded me of the time that I woke up all bleary-eyed, stupid o'clock, in a slight panic, having suddenly remembered the tooth fairy hadn't paid a visit to my six-year-old daughter. In my sleepy state, I grabbed what I thought was a pound coin from the top of my chest of drawers and snuck into my daughter's room. I couldn't find the tooth, but thought, fuck it, and left the pound.

I left the pound. Anyway, settling back into my bed, relieved with the near miss. The next morning, my daughter woke up horrified, demanding to know what it was that had been left. It turned out that I'd picked up a Tesco trolley token instead of a pound coin with the phrase, every little helps inscribed on it. Disgusted, my daughter proceeded to write a note that read, dear Tooth Fairy, you did not take my tooth and this is not money. I expect to see you tonight.

Oops, thanks, Becky. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Love that hustle from the daughter. Yeah, really good. Small business shout-out, Rob? Yep. Ready?

Go on. Hi, Josh and Rob. Hello. I am Pollyanna, mother of two girls. I've just launched a new infant and children's sleepwear business rosa and blue my husband rob hand paints all of our prints using watercolors everything is made from planet friendly bamboo and organic cotton all products are oh i don't know what this means but basically they're they... Go on, say it out loud. Ocotex and GOTS certified, open brackets.

That means no harmful chemicals. We are producing all sleepwear from zero to six years. Beautiful, simplistic prints, including gender neutral. Please check our Instagram out, at Rosa and Blue website, www.rosaandblue.com. I'm offering 15% off to all Parenting Hell listeners with the code PARENTINGHELL. Much love and just carry on doing what you're doing, Pollyanna. P.S. Sorry, but I'm Kent-based,

and my uncle lives a few doors down from Rob. Is he? P.P.S. We have tickets for 2023. There we go. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'd like to do a small business shout out of my daughter Rachel and her husband Steve's amazing fudge business slab fudge gorgeous little slabs of fudge made by hand in small batches on the Isle of Wight they do dairy and vegan ranges the salted caramel is legendary the fudge tastes so good that after the first lockdown

a vegan fudge fan challenged herself to walk all the way from Leeds to the Isle of Wight, 221 miles under ferry, to come over to buy the slab from the shop in person. Jesus. Blimey. Is that okay or an episode? Were they in a car that had it smashed up from? Like Fred Flintstone just dragging the car around.

No, I think that was some sort of charity challenge thing. Oh, okay. Anyway, good on her. Yeah, so she went all the way to the other white bit. Can be bought online, which is a bit easier, at slabfudge.co.uk. They work really hard making the best fudge ever, in my humble opinion. So it would be great if you can give them a mention. All the best, Karen.

That is Slabfudge. They're on Instagram too. Slabfudge. Get yourself some Slabfudge. There we go. Absolutely lovely. Thank you for listening. Thanks, guys. Rob, enjoy Florida. Get yourself some slab fudge. There we go. Absolutely lovely. Thank you for listening. Thanks, guys.

Rob, enjoy Florida. We'll hear all about it next Tuesday. Yes, I'll talk about it next Tuesday. Right. Speak to you later. Bye. Bye.