Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP25: Florida Flight Disaster

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

S04 EP25: Florida Flight Disaster More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them. Find out more information here.What's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Finlay. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. Well done.

There we go. That was a good one. Hi, hi. I'm Amy and this is Finlay. He's two and a half. We started lockdown with a six-month-old in Wales, moved back to Aylesbury with the in-laws eight months ago. You've kept me sane when I was locked in as a first-time mum

with a six-month-old and no clue what I was doing. I still have no clue, but at least he can tell me now. Keep being sexy and totally relatable, Amy. No probs. No probs. No probs. 24-7. 25-8, baby.

25-8. That's Anthony Joshua's management company. 25-8? Because they work so hard. Oh, right. You sure it isn't just that he couldn't get 24-7 at company's house? Like when you've got an email address, Rob Beckett, 1964 or whatever it would be. Yeah, 25-8.

Yes, 25-8 management because they're just so hardworking. Considering he works for half an hour every six months in reality. Bloody unless if he's knocked down early. I don't really know what I'm talking about. Got some great stuff there. Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. How are you? Yeah, good.

I'm very good. I've missed you, actually, in our catch-up. Well, people don't know that we've been away in a weird way, do they? So we recorded some in advance. So we've had three weeks away from each other, haven't we? Yeah, and so much has gone on, Josh. It feels like it's not... So I've got a plan of action

for what we're going to talk about. Okay, hit me with your plan of action. So you've been in the UK working and having a sort of Easter break with the kids but not gone anywhere. It's not a break, Rob, is it? It's not a break. Yeah, but doesn't your daughter

still go to nursery during Easter? She had a week off. A week off. Okay, so... Easter weekend's four days. Four days is long, isn't it? Do we need the Monday? Well, I think that's an Archbishop of Canterbury question.

Welby. Is it Welby? Well, he's had a bad enough week of people attacking him, but do we need the Monday, Welby? The thing is, we could have recorded an episode pretending about the future, going bloody Boris and the parties, because that's still rumbling on. Still the same.

Still the same. Still the same. Just a bloke lying at work for ages and everyone gets angry. But yeah, no. So you was at home in the UK. I went to Disney in Florida. Had a bit of a nightmare getting out. There were cancelled flights.

We'll come to that. We'll come to that. So what we're going going to do is if we ever catch up about your easter and my uh flight disaster and then i'm i think i've got so much to talk about with disney because it's like visiting it mate disney is so massive it's bigger than san francisco yes well i've not been san francisco so that's of no use is it bigger bigger than Exeter? Yes, it's bigger than Exeter. No fucking way. It's bigger than Exeter. Disney is bigger than the city of Plymouth.

The metropolitan skyscraper-ridden city of Plymouth. The New York of Devon. The New York of Devon. But yeah, Disney is massive, and I was a bit overwhelmed by it to be honest so we're gonna do a special episode just about that what i would say is your lovely wife started an instagram account of the family holiday yes which i followed religiously see that's a that's a private account so he can put the kids up basically yeah so i'm unlucky guys but i've got to try and protect them haven't i really yeah yeah exactly have you seen that guy that there's a big thing on tiktok about you know the jolly family they're a youtuber jolly yeah this guy just keeps it's really funny his phone's

loud and you would think like in in like the library like anywhere it's mad like he's like oh my god like in an exam and his phone and it's a big phone it's not even normal size phone Like, anywhere. It's mad. He's like, oh, my God. Like, in an exam. And his phone. And it's a big phone. It's not even a normal-sized phone. No, I love Trigger Happy TV. I'm only joking.

Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? I really did love it. The snail. That sounded like I was being sarcastic, but I genuinely loved it. The snail across the road. Anyway. I was thinking of the snail. Great. Anyway.

So, basically, there's a family called Jolly. They're called J-O-L-Y white stacy dooley did a program about them and basically it's a guy and his wife and he films everything they do like their entire life is documented sacone joe lee's or something anyway he's been getting loads of like they've got like 1.7 million subscribers and he and they're all it's a bit of a strange setup they get, there was getting loads of grief online about his sort of, that people were taking clips and going, this is weird kind of thing.

And he's now deleted his entire YouTube back catalogue. Oh God, is that going to be us? Is that going to be us for these podcasts, Rob? No, I don't know. But he was like filming everything. But what's weird is he's gone like,

yeah, I don't want to put my kids online anymore. It was a YouTube channel that got a bit out of hand and i was enjoying it and then it become this big thing and it sort of all made sense like oh fair enough maybe he started filming his kids and like a few people watched and before he knew it it creeped up on him and it was his job and he had millions of people watching but then you go on his tiktok and his kids are all on there so it feels like he's shifting platforms more than... Yeah. It's like me going, I've just had enough of talking about the news on Channel 4. I just think it's really degrading.

Anyway, I'm a new host of High Got News for you so I'll see you. I just want to get away from the news. I want to be silly again. I just want to mess around. I want to be the real me. Welcome to News Night with me, Josh Whittaker. Oh, that would be a bad booking. But no, because we

don't put the kids up online, so we're just doing that. So the nans and granddads can see pictures and things like that. I would say from seeing it, from seeing it, Rob, it looked we will come to it on Friday, but I just wanted to give you my initial feelings on it,

which is it looked magical. Yes. You looked fucked. You looked, throughout the holiday, I'd say between the start and the end of the holiday, Rob, you know when you see a picture of Tony Blair before and after he came to power? It was a bit like that.

Do you know what? I was either at my lowest ebb or highest ebb. I felt like I was on magic mushrooms, not pixie dust. Honestly, like some of the highs and lows, which we will go through, it was – but do you know what? It started off – the problem was it started off so stressful that it like – it took a few days to sort of come down. And then when I did sort of calm down, I went on a roller coaster

and then came up again. So it was like a series of uppers and downers, literally. Oh, man. But it was great. And the reason why we've done that sort of private account is just because what we realised was all our friends have got pictures of their kids online and stuff like that, which is great.

I've got no problem with it. But when, you know, I've got like a million, nearly a million followers, and you don't know who they are, and I don't really want... And also, they're going to grow up. Do they really want... You know, anyway, so it's different to go... If you've got 150 followers and you don't know who they are and i don't really want and also they're going to grow up that do they really want you know anyway so it's all it's different to go if you've got 150 followers and you put it up and it's all your friends and family it doesn't matter but if you're exposing your kids to that many people i feel like they should have a choice in the matter

however i didn't want them to miss out because instagram you know social media is going to be a part of their lives forever my friends have got this lovely account with all their holidays on it loads of nice photos and their daughters are at the age now they love looking back at all the stuff they've done so we and lou thought oh no let's have it as for our girls so that they can go oh and see all these things so lou you do want to see it i have screen grabbed them all and i put them on my public account so yeah exactly so i just didn't really want to expose us to that but if you sign up to my patreon tumblr if you sign up to my patreon youlr, if you sign up to my Patreon, you can see photos of my children. So not a problem.

It's five pounds a month for one child, eight pounds a month for two children. And, you know, and if you want to be what I like to call the platinum member, just any requests of them in outfits, I can send them your way. Okay? That is not, that is not, that's not what that did.

But right. So I don't, because I've not spoke to you i've a lou basey i i became a karen of the skies on social media moments about ba so should we start well do you know what there's three things we need to do today rob before the disney special on friday not sponsored not sponsored just to be clear yeah i should be clear for this disney holiday by the way i've paid for everything there's i've had no freebies. Do you know what we're going to do? Why don't we, instead of calling it Disney special, we'll look like it's an interview, but we'll call the interviewee Mickey Mouse.

Shut up. And then you can do an impression of Mickey. I'll do an impression of Mickey for the full 50 minutes. And Mickey's interviewing me about my holiday. So I'm like, how was your trip, buddy? Or whatever it is he does.

Yeah, that's quite creepy. Yeah. There's things we need to do today then, Rob, which is discuss your issues with British Airways. Yeah, I feel like Aaron Brockovich. Go into our new sponsor, Virgin Airways, who are great sponsors, and we're looking forward to them taking the podcast forward.

I did mention to Michael, I was like, if BA are trying to advertise on the podcast, you might need to say no, because I don't think they're going to want to by the time I do an episode. And we'll go through my week. Yeah. And we've also,

should we do our big announcement first, Rob? Oh, yeah. I nearly forgot about the announcement. Yeah. Oh, God, there's so much going on. Too bloody right. Should we do that first before we lose all our fans of British Airways?

Yeah, exactly. We're bringing out a new airline called Parents in Air. You do it. You do the announcement. Well, Rob, do you know what I thought? Do you remember when I told you the story about when I was stuck on the train with all the Welsh rugby fans? Oh, yeah.

And I was writing in a book, in a notebook, and it was all very tense. It was a kind of... It was about four or five weeks ago on here. And I didn't say what I was writing, did I? No, no, you didn't say. What were you writing, Josh? Well, you could have a guess at that, couldn't you, Rob?

Was you writing some of the new Parenting Hell book? I bloody well was, Rob. Too bloody right. We've got a book. Here we go. We've got a book. Well, we will have a book. I tell you what.

We've got most of them. Or some of them. We've got some of a book. We've got some of a book. And you'll notice at points that book was written near a man that was drunk and thinking about the cost of... Yeah. Let's move on. Let's move on.

Let's move on. I can't. We're so bad at announcements. It was fucking dog shit. We are writing a book called Parenting Hell, the book. And what is it? Basically, give your ears a listen. Give your ears a listen to this.

Give your ears a bloody listen to this. Give your ears a rest and get your eyes out for a change. Oh, yeah, yeah. Unless you want the audio book, in which case... Shut your eyes. Yeah, shut your eyes. So... But not until you've bought it, because that'll be harder.

Exactly. We are so bad at this. Basically, we've got a book coming out. What's in the book, Josh? Right. We're writing a book. It is out October the 13th. Absolute peak book time.

Yes. They, Rob, have backed us to go head-to-head with the big boys. Absolute peak book time. Yes. They, Rob, have backed us to go head to head with the big boys. Bring it on. That's what I say. Bring it on. As long as Richard Osman hasn't got a book out, I'm up for that week. As long as Richard Osman hasn't got a book out, and I imagine he has because he's just quite pointless. But if J.K. Rowling's got one out, I reckon I could take her on at the moment.

Yeah. Do you know what? I think we're in the ascendancy and she's... It's a tough sell at the moment yeah i think do you know what i think we're in the ascendancy and she's she's she's you know it's a tough sell at the moment for the rail for the railing um but yeah it's out october 13th and i know when people say why are you doing a book for the podcast can i say why i wanted to write this book josh yeah because we started this podcast right when the kids were older i've realized there's this absolute treasure trove of stuff about when the kids were little there were babies pregnancy and all that kind of stuff that we've not been able to do on

here and if we did do it on here now it would sound weird because this podcast is immediate it's about what's happening right now so if i start going oh my god i had a nightmare what happened well four years ago my daughter woke up in the night doesn't work doesn't work and let me put it this way rob we. We are not, and I repeat not, just rehashing stuff from this podcast. No, no. It's new stuff. We may sort of reference stuff for context, but it's new. There'll be a lot of stiff

neck, loose neck references. Of course there will. But it's not these stories you've heard rewritten. It's new stuff you haven't heard because that would be mental. I've been writing it and we've been texting each other, Rob. Yes. And we even had a meeting, didn't we?

We had a meeting about this. We've been going, do you know what? This is actually good, isn't it? Well, I was like, oh, you know, will there be enough stuff? But, like, basically, I just sat down with Lou for ten minutes, and she reminded me of all the awful things I've done. So it was fine. Within ten minutes of the first meeting,

you said we need a three book deal. That's right. I said, there's no way. I was like, Dan Brown. There's no way this is only one book.

There's too much stuff. I was Dan Brown. There's no way I can fit it all in, mate. Tom Hanks has signed up for three films. Let me have the three books. So,

on top of us, this is the most exciting bit about the book. The biggest request we've ever had for on the podcast is, of course, we are giving a voice to Rose and Lou. Yes, it's only fair, isn't it? It is only fair. They will be, we're going to give them a chapter each in the book

to do whatever they want with. And because, I mean, that is, How are you feeling about this, Rob? A bit scared, if I'm honest. Yeah, I'm slightly nervous. And that's the thing. So I've got a few questions I wanted to ask Lou, and same with Rose, for you, I imagine. But what we're going to do is we're going to ask you guys

to send in questions for Lou and Rose. So you can submit questions. They may get picked, they may not. But if you put your name and your age and where you're from, we'll include that in the book. So you could be in the book, which I think is quite a nice thing.

Because we're all in this together, so it's nice for you to be in the book as well. So if you do submit that, we're going to get an email for that. I don't know if we've got the email for that set up just yet. They set up the email and I didn't like the email address, Rob.

Oh, you love this power. Well email for that set up just yet they set up the email i didn't like the email address rob so oh you love this power well they just set up one that's too close to our actual email address i thought it would get confusing so we'll announce that next week but there will be an email address where you can think about what questions you want to ask lou and rose and they'll be we're also going to give a chapter to our parents one chapter for your parents one chapter for my parents to talk about what we were like to bring up as children what they think of our parenting yes and you can submit questions to our parents as well at the same way now josh you suggested your dad wanted to write this chapter himself i've not asked him okay because i don't think my dad will be writing a chapter no no i mean he didn't start reading books till 36 i don't think he's i mean i don't you know i don't

put him down but yeah at the moment he still writes in caps and he didn't start reading books until 36. I don't think he's... I mean, I don't want to put him down, but at the moment he still writes in caps and he hasn't ever used a computer. I'd love a full chapter written in caps. How's the book? Quite shouty, actually. So Rob's parenting is all right, actually. Be some bloke.

Yeah, so that's exciting stuff. The book's out October 13th. You can pre-order it. There will be signed copies. There's obviously going to be an audio book. Yeah, the audio book. We'll do something with Lou and Rose on the audio book. We might interview.

We're going to work out what the best thing to do with them is. But let's be honest, there's going to be extra content on the audio book as well. Yeah, if you get the audio book, it'll be me and Josh reading it. But there'll also be, I think we might do a little extra sort of mini episode with Lou and Rose, so you'll be able to hear them for the first time. So that'll be on the audiobook, not on the podcast. Can I just do some boring chaff here, Rob?

Go on, chaff. Pre-order your copy for your chance to win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell Tour. Ooh. And an overnight stay in London. You could do that. You don't even live in London. I don't.

I could. For more information on how to pre-order. I'm not okay with this. What kind of mugs in charge of this? Do we get to pick the hotel? Yeah. No, we don't have to stay with them, Rob. Oh, it's not a meet and greet in the room?

No, no, no, no. It's not a meet and greet in the room. I can stay over, like bunk beds, top and tail with Sarah and Tony from Nottingham. No, pre-order your copy for a chance to win a pair of tickets to Parenting Hell Tour, an overnight stay in London and six pictures of Rob's children at Disneyland.

And no, we ain't doing travel. Get your own way there, you fucking cheapskates. It could come from anywhere. Pre-order though, because there are signed copies that you can order available at Waterstones. So go onto the Waterstones website. We will put our link.

The links will be up in the show description. In the description, click on the web. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, man. It's in all of our social media biogs. It's in the show description here. Click on that. Pre-order.

You'll get signed copies. How are you going with the signing, Rob? Yeah, there will be signed copies at some point i'm earlier i haven't signed any yet the mood of my signatures is increasingly furious the more i do no i've been away i've and i'll do them later don't worry about it i'll write some more book first the book will be better than the signatures get the signed copies at waterstones and the links, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do it now because there's not going to be enough signed copies

to go around. Can I slag off BA now? Yes. Because that's enough. They know we've got a book out. We don't want to keep running it down their throat, do we?

Did we mention the tour? Right. BA! You love it. You love it. You love an advert for the thing. Right.

Okay. That is exciting news though, Josh. How are you getting on with it though? Are you enjoying it? I'm really love it. You love it. You love an advert for the thing. Right. Okay. That is exciting news though, Josh. How are you getting on with it though? You enjoying it? I'm really enjoying it. I love, I'm absolutely, I'm having the time of my life, Rob, and I'm very excited to finish it. Okay.

Fair enough. Right. Should I tell you about this trip? Tell me about British Airways. So, of course, you know, my parents have 8% shares in, so I'm just looking forward to it. Well, so basically, I'm just looking well basically so basically i'm just gonna tell you what happened and try and not be emotional about it but first of all these fucking pricks no so basically right again i want to make it clear i'm not doing this

to look for freebies and i've never got any freebies i've paid for this it's just yeah i couldn't believe what happened right so we uh we were flying out of gatwick josh perhaps the problem is rob that you're paying if you've got freebies they'd have if they knew that you were rob becker off the tv they wouldn't have they wouldn't give me a freebie no one they don't give you freebies it's not the 90s mate and why isn't it rob because it was a better time why can't it be the 90s well no but i just but that but that's why i always like to pay my way because then i can moan guilt free yeah do you know what i mean where like but you've got you can't but anyway that's why people are giving me shit on twitter going oh you're just trying to get free

no i'm not i'm just trying to get fucking home just want to get they just want to get to holiday so this is what happened right we went we were flying from gatwick and we so we stayed in gatwick premier in the night before all right yeah so he came with that company no fine really good service actually you pay on arrival which i think is quite good 80 quid for the room for all four of us piled in lovely stuff right breakfast came included whatever anyway it was really busy there we ended up going to the hotel yeah we ended up going to the sofa tell for dinner actually which was really nice um they did like a chinese restaurant because the premier room was full so we went there for dinner and then we came back had a lovely evening went to sleep um i fell asleep at 10 p.m really so early calm chilled

got woken up at 11 times your flight uh it's 11 a.m the next day so we didn't really need to stay in a hotel but we thought we would extend the holiday right treat yourself to premier in rob why not it's a holiday treat yourself to four people in the same room of a Premier Inn. Why not, mate? You're owning it. It's a holiday. You don't realise the floor of an airport is designed for a wheelie case. You get a wheelie case on the carpet of a Premier Inn,

it is not moving. Because I was carrying four cases on my own, four big ones on my own. Was it stuck in the shag pile? Yeah, it was stuck in the shag pile. And then, you know don't lou got the girls these massive backpacks that are on wheels right and i said don't do that just get me a wheelie little case and i'll put all their stuff in it right she went no it's cute they'll pull it

along i carried those fucking bags everywhere we went non-stop and they and they were too low to drag along on the floor because they were kid size. So, you know, they were better than the trunkie. The trunkie was the worst thing to happen to children's luggage since, I haven't got an example. There's no example. Nothing else has ever happened to children's luggage, has there? Nothing. It's just the trunkie. It's just trunkie because I had to carry them.

Anyway, so we get in there. We wake up at 11 because the house alarm went off. So Lou's mum had to get out of bed and go and turn that off at midnight, which was, that was great. Oh my God. Anyway, so we went back to sleep and then at four in the morning, I can hear this, I see Lou move really quick,

the cover whip off. And she went, she was half asleep and rolled over to me and went, flight's been cancelled, not even joking. What? So it's 4am.

Why does she know this at 4am? She was half off. Who is she? Like a kind of... One of those people from the Minority Report that's able to... No, no. She's a very stressed mum that's not sleeping because there's a flight tomorrow to America with two kids.

That's what she is. She's, like, half asleep. Checks her phone. Flight's been cancelled. They're cancelled. Well, she's just got a text from BA. An email. Flight's been cancelled.

4am. She sees the email flight's been cancelled 4 a.m we get she sees the email that got sent at half like half midnight yeah um let me try and find this email right i don't think you should only be emailing people to tell them their flight's cancelled that is not an efficient enough way of contacting people oh no absolutely not so we get the get the email let me try and find this email blah blah blah email this this came through uh yeah no 10 to 1 a.m okay so what's that 10 hours before the flight 12 12 47 your ba flight to orlando on the 3rd of april has been cancelled we're sorry the upcoming flight to orlando has been cancelled we'll do everything we can to ensure you get to where you need to be right Right? Anyway, so they cancelled the flight at 11am

from Gatwick to Orlando. Do you know when our next flight, our new flight is? So, you know we said we're in premium economy? Yeah. Yeah. Our next flight is in economy, so they've downgraded us. Oh, that is unacceptable. Okay.

That is an unacceptable move. You wait. Departs, not on the 3rd of April, the 4th. Oh, my God. From Heathrow. What? Well, you've got time to get there. Yeah, 24 my god from Heathrow what well you've got time to get there

yeah 24 hours from Heathrow to Chicago what what they've given you a flight economy

rather than premium economy from Heathrow to Chicago yeah I thought I was going from Gatwick the Windy City

the Windy City yeah I'm surprised we could land. That is so far from Florida. I know, right? And then you're in Chicago O'Hare Airport for four hours, and then you fly to Orlando.

So I'd get there about 30 to 40 hours late. Fuck me. At nine o'clock. And we've got all stuff booked, like park tickets and things like that. What's weird is at that time of the morning, you know, because this is 4am. 4am I found out this. As I read Chicago O'Hara, my brain went Bucky O'Hare. I used to love that.

Yeah, I thought Bucky O'Hare as well. I thought Bucky O'Hare, yeah. Yeah, so and then the other couple were trapped with another family. Oh my God, I can only imagine how angry. So they're still asleep at this point. We go knock them up at four in the morning. And they're off a day late to Charlotte. What?

The Hornets? Yeah. I don't even know where Charlotte is. So they've been sent to Charlotte. I don't know. All I know is that there's a basketball team called Charlotte Hornets. Yes. And there was a girl at secondary school called Charlotte.

Yeah. And she used to wear Charlotte Hornets. Full basketball kit to Mufti Day and I just thought what the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck's Mufti Day? Non-uniform day Rob in the countryside In the countryside Mufti Day You actually Mufti? Sounds offensive

Oh god Can you not even say Mufti Day anymore? I don't know what you can say anymore Rob. Absolute Mufti Here he is. Alright mate go there you Mufti Anyway so they're flying to Charlotte Hornets I'm saying anymore, Rob. Absolute mufti. Here he is. All right, mate. Go there, you mufti. Anyway. So they're flying to Charlotte Hornets.

You're flying to John O'Hare or whatever it's called. What's it called? Bucky O'Hare Airport. We're off to Chicago for four hours. A windy city. You've not even got a coat. We were supposed to be going to Florida. So, yeah.

So anyway, so you get that email and then it says, right. I've just got to ask a question here. Yeah. Go on, mate. How's the mood at this point? Because Rose would be fuming. And I would be trying to put on a break. Do you know what? I realised, Rob, I did something recent.

So something happened recently. Yeah, go on. That was very stressful. What normally happens is something stressful will happen and Rose will react as a person should react and be very stressed about it yeah and i will think my job here is to hold it together yeah so i'm absolutely losing it underneath but yeah i'm losing it underneath but i'm going no no it's fine it's fine i think it'll be fine i think it'll be fine it's fine right so that's what i've done

for the last decade of our relationship right Right? Yeah. And then something happened last week where she was very stressed. And I was doing it. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And then I just lost it. And I was like, it's not fine, is it? It's a fucking disaster.

All right. Oh, God. This is it. This is a disaster. And then she was like, no, no, no. It'll be okay. And it switched her. She had to switch roles.

Oh, wow. And then I remembered, right? Are you doing role play I once read I was naked when you did this yeah and then she whipped me and I loved it

I reckon you'd be into that being beaten up no I would not Rob I think you'd like it I think if you if you had a couple of drinks and calmed down I think you'd like a little slap

so no we've got a book out by the way so anyway so i realized that is this the dynamic for 10 years i've been creating this situation by being positive and then it switched and then i remembered a thing i'd read yeah i once read a book as classic stiff neck, by the, basically the equivalent of Alistair Campbell, but for Gordon Brown,

like his press guy. And he said, when Gordon Brown used to get angry all the time, and what would happen is, Ed Ball's tactic would be to get more angry than Gordon Brown, and then Gordon Brown would have to calm him down. So that was his way of deep. Gordon Brown would calm him down.

And I realised, I've Ed Balls'd Rose. That's what I've done. So you've married Gordon Brown? I've married Gordon Brown and I'm Ed Balls. Rose will listen to this and she'll know that now I've got this new tactic. Brown and Balls. Balls and Brown.

Balls and Browns. Brown and Balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brown and Balls. So there we go. Yeah, so yeah. So what was the mood like? Well, do you know what?

Lou's very good at logic long term. So if something's in the future, I'll lose my head about it. Oh my God, that's going to be nice. She's very good at calming down. However, this is why the relationship works. In the moment, like that, her head goes. She hyperventilates. It's like, which is totally understandable relationship works. In the moment, like that, her head goes. She hyperventilates. It's like, which is totally understandable and stuff.

Yeah. But it's annoying. It's not annoying. I'm not saying that. It's not annoying. Bless her. But she's much better at me in long-term planning. I'm terrible at that.

But short-term, in the moment, it's sort of fine. So, yeah, so basically, yeah, so that's happened. So I say look let's calm down what does the email say and the email says basically um what do i need to do um you can basically manage my booking and you accept you can either accept these new flights yeah or you ring up right yeah and i think because basically what i don't you could enjoy two weeks in chicago yeah so i. So I don't know this properly. So Simon Cowder on Twitter, the independent journalist. Can I just ask, are your children asleep at this point? Yeah, they're fully asleep, oblivious to what's going on.

We're in the bathroom at this point, sort of like trying to plan what we're going to do. But Simon Cowder, C-A-L-D-E-R, lovely bloke, travel journalist. I'll talk about this, and I think I know what your rights are, but he will definitely know. So if you i i'll talk about this and i think i know what your rights are but he will definitely know so if you follow simon cowder on twitter so did you tweet about and he chipped in and he was like this is what you need to do no no no no no so i didn't tweet him at all but i've seen him talking about this on ba before so basically so you they've got a responsibility people they've got a responsibility to get you on a flight to that destination on another airline

so they have to try their best so for example if they emailed us at five o'clock midday the day before it's cancelled i could have gone into the airport and gone to the desk and said right and there's a virgin flight tomorrow at 10 o'clock there's a virgin flight at 11 o'clock or there's american airlines flight i've looked online there's space on those flights. Get me on that flight. And they can't really argue, I don't think, because, but, so it's very convenient that they do decide to cancel it at midnight. Right, yeah, yeah.

So I thought, no worries. I'll ring them and say this over the phone. You ring up. This is what happened to me. I don't know if this is what happened. So you knew this anyway. So I knew that they have to do their best to get you on a flight that day.

So what they've done there is given them the BA best option, which is Chicago. So I rung up and he says, if your flight's been cancelled, press 1. I pressed 1. Unfortunately, we're very busy at the moment, so we can't help you. Hung up. I nearly fucking headbutted the wall. I've never been angry in my life.

Because I was just like, what do you mean? You can't do that. You're just stranding people. And they just hung up were you tempted just to walk to heathrow at this but i'm sorry no i'm not walking to chicago i was googling chicago steakhouses let's go for it let's just embrace chicago do you know what i want a deep dish chicago town i went to chicago i've been to chicago don't talk about Chicago. Don't get on BA's side. It's such a good city. It's a great city, yeah.

It's got this lovely beach. You don't realise it's got a beach because it's landlocked, but it's because it's got a river. A lake, even, sorry. It's got a lovely beach. Imagine if I got through to you at 4am at BA. Yeah, look, Rob. It's where Barack Obama's from.

Oh, great, yeah. Hopefully I'll knock him up so he can drive me to fucking Orlando with the kids. Rob, Have you seen The Last Dance Yes I have seen The Last Dance That is set in Chicago Set

Enjoy yourself It's set in Chicago It isn't It's set in the mind Of a lunatic Yeah so at that point My head's gone So now I'm just like

Right well what do we do Because the reality is It's 4am Like all other flights Are starting to get booked up It's Easter yeah so at that point my head's gone so now i'm just like right well what do we do because the reality is it's 4 a.m like all other flights are starting to get booked up it's easter like the week before easter holidays kind of thing so then what we did was i found flights virgin there were virgin flights from heathrow to orlando but taking off an hour after hours was supposed to be so i just booked those flights to get us out there because i thought if i don't do this we're going to be two or two days late it's going to be a nightmare just bite the bullet and this i'm sorry and this is a very privileged position for me because i'm in a fortunate enough position to have a disposable income in the bank to do that where

a lot of people big disney holiday that that would have all been in there already or you've had to do on your credit card and then you get charged so i'm very aware that i'm in a fortunate position however at 4 a.m i saw that money in the bank i saw the prices of flights and i just did it and i thought i'll try and get the money back off them later on and but i'm totally appreciative people couldn't do that money back we're in the process of doing that at the moment so i'll they've not actually fully come back to me on that so i can give another update next week. But I just- I imagine this podcast will help. Well, yeah.

I mean, I don't know. Fuck knows. But I'll make it worse. All I do know is though, I'm sitting on a photo- I'd love it if you got a lifetime ban from British Airways. That would make me laugh so much.

What I will say is, I've got a photograph of a baby seat that they gave our friends with the nine month old that I haven't put online yet, but it's sitting there ready to go in a brown envelope. Okay? And you do not want this baby seat.

It's like the picture of Boris Johnson with the San Miguel that people go on about. All I'm saying is, whilst the inquiry is ongoing into our cancelled flights, I will not publish any photographs. However, when the inquiry's been finished, if I'm satisfied, I may publish the photo, but we'll see. Pop it on the private Instagram for me, will you, Rob?

Okay, I'll send it to you so you can see it. Do you want to see it? I'll send it to you so you can see it. Oh, my God. It's difficult not to make the jokes that I want to make about this baby seat, Rob. Exactly, but let's just say it's been used. Yes. It's definitely been used before.

I don't think that's a new one. That is absolutely incredible. But the bad thing is, that's the flight home. They already know I'm annoyed. So you were there to take this photo? Well, yeah, because we flew out on Virgin, then came back on BA. And was it you that threw all the yoghurt over the seat, Rob, or was it someone else?

I think it's sick. Oh, my God. It's baby sick. Anyway, so I booked those flights, and I'm aware that's very fortunate of me to be able to do that. However, that was my decision to do. And I felt terrible. Down in the reception, there was these poor families from Newcastle

that were like, well, we can't hang around. We've come down from Newcastle. We can't go back to Newcastle. You're going to cover the hotel. Oh, my God. Anyway, so I managed to book the flights, right? And they were lumpy, but that's, you know. But to be fair, Virgin was amazing.

It was a really good flight. And I'm not just saying that, but I think when they know that BA have had a cancelled flight, basically... Oh, they must be absolutely walking on air. Well, not just walking on air. They're like, right, guys, we've got to be the best we've ever been because there's going to be loads of angry people from BA now.

Do you know what I mean? It's sort of like they were just like... So anyway, it was... Do you know where it reminds me of, Rob? What? I know someone and he got a job on a TV show because the previous host had been sacked for being so horrible to the staff.

Oh, really? And he said, I feel like a fucking god on that TV show because all I have to do is be a bit nice to people and they think I'm the nicest guy in the world. I know that is... Correct, yes. Bleed that out.

OK. That's maybe one we can say on the live show. Yeah, so basically, so we've managed to book these flights, but now it's 5am and we're in Gatwick, Premier Premier Inn and we're flying from Heathrow at about 1 o'clock. Yeah. So I've now got to get... Kids are up. Starting to rise.

We're desperately trying to not tell them that Disney's been cancelled. Yeah. We're not using the word cancelled flight at any point to stress them out. You've shown them the film Chicago to get them in the mood yeah exactly well have you ever what's your thought on a deep dish pizza right so right so now though what we've got because the other couple decided to book those flights as well what we've what we're now in the situation of trying to move four adults, three under six-year-olds, a nine-month-old, nine suitcases,

six little bags, and a buggy need to get moved from Gatwick to Heathrow at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Oh, my word. Oh, my word. So I'll go through that again. Four adults, a four-year-old, a six-year-old, a seven-year-old, a nine-month-old, nine cases, six bags bags and a buggy so you call eddie stobart so i've put a request in no worries there's a black cab company put a request in fine i can get two black cabs we can all bundle in there it should be fine no three black cabs men

surely well um i uh put it in yes accepted booking oh my god i think i'm the best admin person in a crisis ever immediately email back oh sorry yeah that's not available what anyway and then so then the premier in sought you something well i managed to ring the man that dropped us off the driver that dropped us off the night before i rung him and because he dropped us off 5 a.m yeah but he dropped us off like we were his first job when he dropped us off the night before, I rung him, and because he dropped us off... What, at like 5am? Yeah, but he dropped us off, we were his first job, when he dropped us off in the evening to the hotel. He's been out in London working,

on his way home I caught him, and he was going past, and managed to come and get... So he did our first and last job. Oh my word, what a story he's got. And then the girl, Lou and our friends, went out to try and find a cab,

but we were at arrivals so none of the cabs were allowed to pick us up. We had to go back around to the rank. Some weird bloke trying to do it for cash who looked dodgy

and then luckily the other bloke from the black cab rung us back and then he turned up. So somehow we got there and we got on the flight and it was,

you know, but you don't calm down. You're so just like... Yeah, yeah, of course. Was it time sensitive at this point? When you got to the airport were you worried?

Yeah, so I was actually because because I'll tell a lie, it wasn't a one o'clock flight, it was an 11 o'clock flight, but then our flight to Virgin got slightly delayed a little bit to a bit later on, so it was a bit like, we had loads of time, but Lou was losing her head. But we had loads of time if the cab came now, but I hadn't booked a cab. So it's just like, well, there's no cab coming.

We've got the time, but there's no way to sort of get there yeah and i didn't know anyway so we did that and then we got to the airport got on the flight um oh one little bit of bit of fun was uh we were waiting for the flight and as our gate came up the four-year-old pissed herself oh my god she was so excited playing on this little soft play thing forgot to go she forgets to ask for the toilet pissed herself they don't want to go to the toilet when they need to go to the toilet and you're like what is your problem with this you'll be like do you need a wee no and you're like i know you need a wee yeah you definitely need a piss what that mate that's one of my great pleasures in life having a piss having a piss is great that's because they're having too much that's because it's a break from your life

how good must your life be that having a piss isn't the best thing in it? How good is your life? My life's so good at the moment, I'm happy to piss myself and carry on. This is how much fun I'm having. Maybe them old drunks aren't, you know, they're actually having a great time when they piss themselves in the pub. But now, we're in Heathrow Airport trying to find clothes for a child. There are no clothes.

So we had to go to Superdry. Oh, my God. She wasn't Superdry. Am I right? And we bought her a size 8 T-shirt she wore as a dress and a pair of woman's knickers that we tied up with elastic band. She flew to America on a nine-hour flight in grown woman's knickers. Oh, my God.

That is... So, anyway, we get on the flight. Lovely flight. Brilliant staff. And I did the most dad thing I've ever done. I was hugely stressed, Joss, obviously, because, you know, it had been manic since 4 a.m. And now it's like we're on a nine-hour flight now with kids.

And do you want to know what films I watched on that nine-hour flight? Go on. None. No. I just stared at the dark screen. What, you just stared ahead? Just stared ahead, just sort of just... Drinking?

Yeah. Just stared ahead drinking. How are your friends with the baby on the flight that you were so... This baby just sleeps. So basically, what happened was... Oh, I hate those babies. The baby is so well behaved. Like, honestly, I've got no funny stories about a nine-month-old baby on holiday.

That is unacceptable. I hate people with easy babies. I've got a funny story about the dummies. They took the dummies, but they forgot the dummy clip for the baby. What's the dummy clip? You know, like the little lanyard that clips the dummy onto a T-shirt. So when they throw it out of their mouth, it's still near them. They forgot the dummy clip and went through 12 dummies,

lost the last one late at night. He had to go to Target in a taxi to buy more dummies. Oh, my God. So the problem with the nine-month-old... He got through 12 dummies? Well, because she kept just lobbing them because they were walking around so much around the park. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the only problem with the nine-month-old was the parents not getting the dummy clip was basically the only issues. The baby just slept. She was unbelievable. Honestly, the easiest kid out of the lot. It was actually annoying. It was annoying because it made you want another kid.

Neither of our babies are chilled. We went to a friend's house. Their baby is so chilled. Yeah. That they just, the baby was in a bounce of a half an hour on its own. Yeah.

That was it. Fine. Fine. Half an hour. So this nine month old, they're just sitting in the buggy, just fine. Fine. Half an hour. So this nine-month-old, they just sit in the buggy, just laughing. Fucking hell. The whole time. Fucking hell.

I heard her cry. And we were all together, basically, for two weeks. Once in two weeks, I heard her cry. We were in the hotel room next to them. Didn't hear it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But anyway, another thing that's quite annoying when your flight gets

cancelled if you have it linked into your apple wallet you know like your little apple wallet thing it keeps popping up don't forget your flight's in 10 minutes i'm like no it's not it's been cancelled update your app um so that was the that was the flight out and then basically oh no yeah so when i got to the airport i went we checked in with, went to BA. I went, hello, you've cancelled our flight. We couldn't speak to anyone because you kept on hanging up on us. Actually, first of all, I went to the desk and I said, hello, I need to talk to someone about my flight. She went, yeah, queue up. I went, no, no, I just need to talk to someone like guest services.

I don't need to queue up for check-in. She went, it's the only way to talk to someone. So I had to queue up. So I've queued up to check into Virgin. I had to queue up to check into a BA, even though my flight's cancelled, to talk to them about my cancelled flight. Okay? And I get to the front.

I went, look, the flight's... Were the tweets flying by this point, right? No, none at all. And I said, oh, excuse me. Because that's the problem. People cancel flights. You can argue it's late at night. I don't mind that.

That's just life, right? But it's the aftercare that pissed me off. You don't hang up on someone when they're trying to reorganise it. And it's a big night I don't mind that that's just life right but what was it's the aftercare that pissed me off you don't hang up on someone when they're trying to reorganise it and it's a big family holiday to Orlando there's kids on the

you can't just strand people somewhere and then not allowing anyone to going to Orlando exactly and there was no way to talk to

Virgin had a special desk where you could talk to people and most airlines have that BA don't know what I think is BA haven't got the staff anymore I think they've just not got enough staff and then so eventually i got to the front of the checking

desk and said oh excuse me our flight's been cancelled we don't want the flight you've offered i just want to make sure that the flight home's still okay because it doesn't let me on the website click reject the new flight and accept the return oh no um you can't have the return if you don't have the outbound what yeah't have the outbound. What? Yeah, I went, the outbound doesn't exist. So basically, I had to cancel the whole booking. I went, well, I don't want to cancel the whole booking because if I'd known that, I would have put return on Virgin,

but I can't do that now. I've just got a one-way. Oh, my God. Because you hadn't cancelled the return. Oh, my word. So now I'm there for 20 minutes, even though we've checked in and I need to get through security, because if I don't sort this out now,

I don't want to travel to America not knowing if I've got a flight back. Do you know who you need to talk to, Rob? Bucky O'Hare? Two words, mate, if you're having some problems with consumer. Joe Lysa. Joe Lysa. He'll sort you out, yeah. He'll bloody prank the whole lot of them.

Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. So you couldn't talk to them, and then they did that, and then eventually they sort of semi-agreed they did that, and then they gave me these new weird tickets. Did you come back on Virgin or BA? No, BA, right? So anyway, they do that, and then...

So then afterwards, and then I'm trying to... Basically, she wasn't... She didn't really convince me that that happened. You know when someone's a bit like, yeah, that's fine? I'm like, I don't feel like that's fine so then i tried to email ba speak to him so i'll try to i try to speak to him on instagram they wouldn't let me speak to an instagram i had to go on twitter and i'm not even on twitter anymore i had to log back into twitter so they sent me to twitter i didn't i wasn't going to tweet about it i tried to talk to an instagram because the email

address and the phone number there's no email address the phone number don't work right so i spoke to him on so was there loads of other people there that were in your the phone number, there's no email address, the phone number don't work, right? So I spoke to them on... So was there loads of other people there that were in your... In the Premier Inn, there was loads of people from up north that had stayed because you have to fly out of Gatwick. But then so I went on Instagram, couldn't talk to them, I went on Twitter. These are the people that I've spoken to so far.

Corrie, Rebecca, Alex, Jane, Neil, Oliver, Natalie, Dylan, Imogen, Daisy, Natalie M. Because whenever you send a message, someone else replies on like the direct message. And I'm aware a lot of people aren't even getting replies. But I think because I've got a bigger following on Twitter, they are a blue tick. They are replying to me.

So I'm aware of that. So that was what was annoying me. So I'm away. I can't really get through to anyone. And then at one point they go, oh, well, let's sort this out. Can we ring you? And I said, well, let's sort this out can we ring you and i said well it's a bit difficult because we haven't got good signal we're in and out of parks we're on rides she went oh give us a time to call okay well i said call us 7 a.m america time because

that's like midday english um and then i get a message at half seven oh when's a good time to call you i was like well half an hour ago when you fucking agreed and then i get a phone call at half eight while we go for like the security at the park and lose on like a scar who's on like it's a small world trying to talk to ba about flights and then we flew back and when we get to the airport there's no one there to check in what so we get to the deck there's about probably about 100 people there we got there four hours before which is very early but we'd been kicked out of our hotel at any point start laughing at this situation well i thought well you know what i am technically here before they say get here three hours before but normally the checking desk is always open aren't they but i looked it up and normally there is someone there doing it from four hours before

right and there wasn't anyone anyway three hours to go one person arrives to check in a plane of hundreds of people and there's three queues at this point and there's one person checking in all three queues which is stressful because everyone's like who goes first yeah you know and then and then so and then it's an hour to get through security so i think a lot of people may have missed that flight because they couldn't get checked in so anyway we couldn't get checked in and then we get on the plane and we get home the baby seat picture i'll talk about later and And once we're on the Virgin flight out, this is a nine hour flight. There was food and, you know,

out there's like bottles of drink, there's food, there's crisps, there's snacks because it's a long journey. But yeah, it was just cups of water. So I don't know what's going on. I don't know if they're trying to become like an economy long haul. Have they taken a dislike to you, Rob?

I don't know. By that point, have they gone, let's fuck him up let's really there's no one checking in i really don't like him on cats does countdown when he does that let's fuck him up yeah but like do you know but it's all agency staff that don't care ba used to have lots of stuff that kept so it was all agency staff checking them in so when we were there our friends we had a buggy she said oh do you need to put the luggage tag on the baggage but no you don't do that you do it at the gate we was like well no you definitely do it here that's always the way it's been happened anyway we get to the gate and there's a BA person from the flight there now not just the agency staff and they're like oh yeah they should have

done that to check it so they don't really know what the rules are so now a flight from Orlando there's about 50 buggies we're all that the flight home was delayed by half an hour and then it got delayed by another half an hour because there's 50 buggies that need to be tagged up at the actual gate where you get on the plane. Are you feeling better to talk about this? No, I feel worse. I wish I didn't bring it up now, and I've had a fucking moany old woman.

How do you feel now? Stressed. Looking back on it. Anyway, sorry. I hope that didn't just sound like a pretentious privileged rant. I enjoyed it. No, it didn't. It didn't.

Because, anyway. I would say, Rob, listening to that, I didn't think this man's privileged. No point, did I think. Him and his ivory tower. Fucking hell, I'm a half live eh that bit when you're both huddling in the bathroom

of a premier inn while your daughter sleeps trying to work out how to get to Heathrow I didn't think bloody hell this is like listening to Prince talk about his life

I was naked for the first 15 minutes because I couldn't find my pants because it's that hotel room you're a bit discombob the first 15 minutes because I couldn't find my pants. Because it's a hotel room, you're a bit discombobulated, it's 4am, I couldn't find my pants. Was you just stark bollock naked? Booking flights, baby.

Knocking on your friend's door to tell them their flights have been cancelled. I put pants on for that, but they were a bit shocked when I just stood there. They only thought I was a 4am swinger. It's time,

let's start this holiday. Let's start this holiday in style oh god yeah so sorry about that well I tell you what Rob we might have to change the schedule because I've gone on too long well you haven't gone on too long Rob was that interesting or was it just moaning no I

thoroughly enjoyed it people listen to this Rob for us to have a terrible time and you've had a terrible time. Well, yeah, Josh, we've done time here, so should we catch up to your week before the Friday episode? Maybe next Tuesday's Disney, then. We'll just keep going. We're content

machines, Rob. Oh, God, I feel like I need to lie down. I feel upset after that. Yeah, well, there you go. Anyway, sorry. Back to normal programming next week. We'll catch up with Josh's week, and we'll talk about Disney as well, another episode. On Friday, yeah, and we'll give you that email address if you want to send the questions to Rose, Lou, and our parents.

Oh, yeah, we'll give you the email for that, and the book's out October 13th. See you then. All right, bye.