Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP38: Rich Wilson

Episode Date: June 10, 2022

S04 EP38: Rich WilsonJoining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Rich Wilson. Rich's podcast 'Insane In The Men Brain' is available wherever you get your podcasts and we highly recommend giving it a listen! Please rate and review. Thanks, Rob + Josh.BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookWe're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK?Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there...ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley)28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavourful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelised onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's, at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,

which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell withn can you say rob beckett and can you say josh widdicombe good boy there we go that's what i say to my dog good boy how is the dog

yeah he's all right just he's quite easy to be honest yeah it's half cat it's no stress really he keeps nicking food off the basically he don't nick food off the table to anyone apart from my youngest but that's because she waves it around right in front of his nose and she also secretly feeds him when we're not looking so it's very difficult to tell the dog off because he's being and we keep saying to her you're feeding the dog aren't you guys she goes no but then i catch her feed it so he knows she'll feed him and also she's takes longer to eat and she's like floats it around so she sort of walks up and leaves her plate empty yeah yeah so it's a bit of a difficult one but yeah he's all right it's good fred i'm gonna take him for a walk in a minute they're easy to walk if you're hung over you can stand in a field and just throw

a ball you don't have to walk them have you got one of those ball thrower things? Those weird things so your hand doesn't get wet. Oh, that looks really fun. It is fun, but what is annoying, you launch it and then he just goes, nah, I don't want to do that actually. And then you walk 100 metres

to find the ball. Did I tell you we've got, I didn't tell you this, we've got to buy a fountain for our cat to drink from. Fuck it. Why? Because our cat,

Beryl. Because Beryl, she's, we need her to drink as much fluid as possible for the rest of her life. And good water. Yeah, but also cats like to drink from moving water. So you have to have a little cat fountain in your house. A little cat fountain, so they're constantly flowing.

So we've now got a water feature in our kitchen. Ask Tommy Walsh over the road, see if Dimmock can put it in. I'd love Charlie Dimmock to put it in. Why don't you get a nice one that you can drink from? It's easy to be wanting. You can get them. They're constantly going, aren't they? They're quite easy to get.

I'm quite looking forward to it when it arrives. Do you want to drink from it? Will I drink from it? Your one-year-old will. Oh, don't, mate. I know this is a cliche, but why does he head to all the wrong things? Like, why is he interested in the cat food? Who gives a... What is wrong with him? They're quite cheap, actually, these flowing water things? Like, why is he interested in the cat food? Who gives a...

What is wrong with him? They're quite cheap, actually, these flowing water things. Yeah, they're 25 quid. Oh, there's a nice ceramic one that looks quite fancy that you could get. Rather than a plasticky one. What have one of you got? Oh, God, don't. Because Rose listens to this and I've bought a plastic one already, Rob.

You've absolutely should have. Oh, no, you don't want that plastic shit. There's a lovely one here. Look at this. Ceramic. It'll really suit your kitchen. What one have you bought? Cat, mate. 20 quid Amazon. Yeah. shit there's a lovely one here look at this ceramic it really suit your kitchen what one have you bought cat mate 20 quid amazon yeah that's that is going that that is an absolute

waste of plastic that is never stayed in your house i could get away with that in my house do you know what the person that takes it off our wall the person who takes off our wall in a week will be absolutely delighted with it rob so you're just plumbed in what no we don't have to plumb it in do we no no so i'm saying these ones are just sort of if they recirculate yeah you just put some water in it i just pretty me plug it in and it'll go right some water might help but apart from that of course yeah this ain't working i have to buy my own water it's one of those things that when you find out you need that it's quite a fun buying isn't it this kind of thing when you look at the options you find out you need, it's quite a fun buying, isn't it? This kind of thing.

When you look at the options. You've just gone from a plastic... There's loads of options. I know, but it was at 4.30 last night, Rob. Hey, Rob and Josh. Introduction from my three-year-old nephew, Finn. He lives in Littlehampton, West Sussex, but his mum is originally from Nottingham,

so she sometimes goes a bit northern, much to my brother's dismay. It's very funny when he says dumper truck. Part southern, part Midlands. Oh, dumper truck, she's written. Thanks for everything, Joe, from Crawley, West Sussex. Well done, mate. It was a good one.

I liked his. Yeah, it was a strong one, wasn't it? Good old Finn. How are you, Josh? All good? Or do you want to do some emails? What are you feeling? Is there anything to...

I'm feeling all right. I've not got anything else in my life at the moment. It's all cat. It's the moment. It's all cat. It's all cat. It's all cat. Oh, we're doing a sausage taste test. What? Well, basically, my kids love sausages or hate them.

And like, they'll go, oh, I don't like that one. It's got green in it. But I just sort of buy whatever sausages are on special at the shops. But then that leads to confusion to my children. And they all of a sudden won't eat them. So I think I'm going to buy all the different sausages, cook them all and do a taste test. And then once they've picked the one they like best think I'm going to buy all the different sausages, cook them all and do a taste test. And then once they've picked the one they like best,

I'm going to buy that one until they leave my house. That is a good idea, Rob. That's a genuinely good idea. It is, isn't it? And then you're guaranteed. But you've overlooked that children sometimes will just suddenly decide they don't like something just to prove a point.

Well, no, but I've made them sign a contract. Could you just drop a coin on the table? No, I dropped the lid of my water bottle, sorry. Didn't ruin the podcast, it's fine. Do you know what I've worked out as well that's made me calm down a bit, Josh? Right? Yeah. And I think this might help you because you're quite busy with your cat and stuff.

Yeah. What a life. You're quite busy with your cat. What does that say about me? You're a bit stressed about your cat and stuff. Well, because I used to think, right, I wanted to change things, right? So things right so like oh if this isn't working out for me change that do that and stuff and it's quite exhausting trying to make sure everything's all right so like obviously you need to get the water thing for the cat but like you sometimes you got like you're worrying yourself

at dinner about your cat and all things like that and i realize you don't it's not it's not about changing what's happening to your advantage it's about accepting what's happening then work out how it is to your advantage right so talk me through this okay so your cat's your cat's not well yeah right worst case scenario is yeah cat's gone yeah the cat's gone you're not spending as much on cat food yeah right yeah positive let's pet insurance let's pay insurance yep and then you're always how many other cats you got one you've done the grief early it's not looming over you yeah i mean the death of a cat is a difficult one that doesn't really work for the death okay okay how about this yeah well i'll give you something i'm stressed about okay i am stressed about the impending deadline of the first draft of our book rob you're worried about that well as an example it's an example well no the advantage would be is it's done then

isn't it once it once it's done it's done the advantage is the advantage is it'll be done and it doesn't drag on and also the advantage is everyone works better to a deadline so 100% yeah you're back to death if they said you've got to next deadline. So it's good to say. 100%. Yeah, you work better to a deadline. If they said you've got next year to do it, it'll be hanging over you for the whole year. Oh, and I'd never get around to it. You'd feel like this at December if they said it had to be in for January. Exactly.

So you get it done and out the way. Like, you know, in Glastonbury, if you're planning stuff and go, I want to go here, I want to go there, and you might not get there, but you might actually turn a corner into another ten and there'll be a band you really like. Exactly, Rob. I'm free and easy at Glastonbury. Surrender to it. Rob, you might not get there but you might actually turn go turn a corner into another 10 and there'll be a band on you really like exactly rob i'm free and easy at glastonbury surrender to it rob you do not understand i'm a different guy when i'm at glastonbury i'm free and easy what so what took me through josh widdicombe at glastonbury are you going to watch supercross i don't really care i'll go watch tlc instead where's the crowd going i like this guy yeah he's loose let's get another cider why not it's the weekend you're

quite loose neck at glastonbury i am quite loose neck at glastonbury yeah i'm quite i'm just a chilled out guy at glastonbury rob because i've got i've got no responsibilities because i haven't taken a child to glastonbury because i'm not clinically insane oh god i can't wait to hear about that when is glastonburyonbury? Is it 24th of...? Yeah, it's like two weeks' time. Have you taken children to festivals as well? Tell us how that went. I might be going on **** Stag Do then.

That really is the weekend when me and you are a cliché of ourselves. I don't know if it's happening now. I'm going to Glastonbury and you're going on **** Stag Do. You'll be able to guess exactly where it's being touted around as well. Ocean Beach.

Yeah. Yes, please. I will keep my eyes on Wayne Lillico's Instagram for that one. I was going to say, I don't think you want people to know, but if he wants to keep his stag do quiet, you don't go to Ocean Beach, do you? Exactly. Exactly.

I tell you what, Rob. We can always bleep his name out and people can guess who it is and they'll know yeah yeah bleep his name out that's funny bleep his name out they can guess who it is and if you see me in the street i'll tell you who yeah anyway should we do some uh email do you want an email yes hi josh and rob absolutely love the show after listening to the episode where josh was lamenting how many stairs he had to climb to his daughter's relocated bedroom i'm here to claim the longest bedroom commute crown. Ooh.

At the moment, my two daughters are seven and four, and I are living temporarily with my parents, who live in a beautiful converted barn. As you'll no doubt know... And they live five-hour drive away with their mum. So I drive for five hours and go up the stairs. No joke. As you'll no doubt know,, Barnes tend to be rather long

and the quirky layout means that the four bedrooms are split into two separate upstairs areas, both accessed by a separate staircase at either end of a very long house. The spare bedrooms available to us at the time of moving in meant that they are in one section and I am in the other. They are so far away, I have to use a baby monitor so I can hear

them in case of emergency even though they're seven and four if i do have to go up to my bedroom my commute is as follows out of my bedroom along a landing down the stairs through a large hall down a step into the kitchen through the kitchen through the dining room through the lounge through another hall up the stairs along the, arrive in daughter's bedroom. How many steps is that? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Oh no, I meant actual

steps, not the procedure. Oh, actual steps, I don't know. Are you watching him do it? He's got long legs. Oh, it's Fiona. Oh, Fiona, sorry, Fiona. So it's probably shorter legs, probably's Fiona oh Fiona sorry Fiona so probably shorter legs probably more steps then to get back to my bedroom I do the reverse

women are smaller he's not being sexist women are shorter I'm not being sexist that is a physical fact he's not saying he Josh Willicam

he's not saying women can't walk they can walk I'm not saying that he's not saying women can't walk he's saying they can walk

he's saying the average height of a woman is shorter than the height of a man not. He's saying the average height of a woman is shorter than the height of a man. Not me. I'm about the average height of a woman. You're an exception to the rule. You've got the height and the legs of a woman. Exactly.

The body of a boy and the head of an old man. Oh, that is an image. If you could picture that, then do draw that and send it in. Okay, yeah, that'd be a lovely little sketch. Yeah, yeah, lovely. Okay, sorry. Yes, this week we've got Rich Wilson. Oh, this is a great interview.

Really, really good. Really interesting. Well, we always try and get different people with different sort of parenting stories. And Rich is... He had two kids at 20 and 25, and he's's 50 now so he's got grown-up kids and he had to move back in with his kids at one point when he because he separated from their mum when he uh separated from another partner um so he moved back in with his kids which was quite interesting so yeah he's really funny bloke comedian and uh and dad of two men he's a dad

of men you want to plug his podcast oh yeah insane in the membrane really good podcast i've i've been on it and it's um him talking to comedians and it's really funny but also talking about male mental health and stuff like that but um yeah it's not it's not a serious one it's fun and funny but they do touch on that which is good to talk about mental health this is rich wilson rich wil, welcome to the podcast. I've been wanting you on for ages. We're going back a long way. Me too, just that's an awkward situation. No, no, no, no.

I'm not saying Joshua's been against it and I've had to sort of lobby him. Finally, my resistance has broken down and here we are. You're like an MP that has to pretend they wanted, you know, a certain rule coming in. I don't know, I did vote for that. Actually, I was away doing really important work. No, I've always wanted you on. I did your podcast.

You've got a great podcast, Insane in the Membrane. That's it. Thanks, mate. Which is a great podcast. I've been on it. I don't know if you've been on it. Have you, Josh? No, that's why I don't want to.

That's why I don't want to be on this. Again, he's not very pro-Rich Wilson, but that's something we can address. I'd love to have Josh on. Josh would be brilliant. I's something we can address. I'd love to have Josh on. Josh would be brilliant. I'd love to do it. I'd love to do it. Rich, you won't remember that you compared a gig I did,

which was one of the first gigs where I thought, I'm onto something here, which was outside the box. And it was the first time that I actually, after about two years of scrabbling around, fucking around, I was like, I'm all right at this. So you're suggesting you saw Rich perform and you thought, yeah, I can do this. Because again, it's not looking great.

Come on now, Rob. That's what I used to be like at Up the Creek. I was a barman. I was like, what is this? I can do this. Yeah. Well, yeah, because we've known each other years. We grew up in the same area,

Rich, and did comedy for years. We used to drive each other to Comedians Football in Crystal Palace. But you, because it was weird, when I first met you, you already had grown up sons. So what's your,

what's your child situation for the listener? So I had sons. I had my first son when I was 20 years old. Yeah. He's now, he's now 30. Oh, wow. Yeah. And my other one, I had him, how old was I? I was 20 years old. Yeah. He's now 30. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And my other one, I had him, how old was I? I was 25. So yeah, he's 24, but 25 in July. Right.

I wonder if 30's the oldest son we've had on here, Rob. Oldest child we've had. Are you, what are you trying to do to Rich's self-esteem? I'm trying to give him a little victory here, Rob. Oh, a little victory.

Okay, sorry. You're hammering him now. You're also the oldest person we've had on Rich. How does that make it? No, we haven't. No, Jonathan Ross was on. His kids are a bit younger, I think. Yeah, I think they are.

Because we met probably, what, 10, 12 years ago? Would it be Rich 10 years ago? I remember, I seem to remember you helped, I think you helped me move house. You helped with a mattress or something. Yes, I did help, yeah, because you live around the corner. This is the most South East London story I've ever heard. We used to drive each other, take turns driving each other.

Normally Rich would drive me to football. But I helped you move a mattress in my car. But I remember at the time, you had kids that were 20, and I was about 23 and stuff like that. And you was managing like, you know, because you started off just working behind the bar at a comedy club. And then how old were you when you did your first gig? So I was 32. Yeah. So you did it a bit later. Did it that way around.

What did you do before that? Oh, man, all manner of things. I was a bus driver and a van driver and dug holes in the floor and painted walls. and it's a well-documented story of me working in a gay sauna for a bit and i've worked comedy i never even knew i didn't i didn't have designs to be a comedian i just kind of loved comedy and i love and i could pull a pint so i ended up working in the comedy club and then suddenly said got famous with some of the comedians and they were like you could probably do this and you could earn a few quid and i was like yeah go on then and i just started doing it amazing so talk me through what it's like when you find out

at 20 that you're going to become a dad it was a kind of i think because when i you know when you're growing up i don't know if it's just this is just a working class thing like nobody ever talked about further education it was never like oh you're gonna go to uni and you're gonna listen to that it's always like well you're gonna go to school you're the best you can because you're you're not gonna go on you're gonna get a job you're gonna get a job and then you're gonna then you because then because then you're gonna meet someone and then you're gonna you're gonna get married and you're gonna to, then you could, cause then, cause then you're going to meet someone and then you're going to, you're going to get married and you're going to have kids. And that's basically how it was always told to me. So when I,

when I was told by Lisa, the mother of my children, she was like, look, I'm pregnant. And I was like, okay. And we, we hadn't been together very long and we kind of, it was like a whirlwind thing. It was the first person I sort of loved. And it was, you know, this exotic woman that lived out of alpington where i grew up where did she live where did she live graves end a long-distance relationship yeah we just have to get the 51 bus and a train um oh wow so you met world wind and you how long were you together? Was it quite short, did you say? Yeah, we were only together a month.

Oh, really? Yeah. At 20. And how old was Lisa? 21. Yeah, and I was at college. I remember I was at college. I talk about not going to further education,

but I'd gone back to college after I'd left school and got jobs and things. I went back and I was doing community care, sitting yields community care, because I was going to be a paramedic or a carer or something. And then she said, oh, I'm pregnant. And so I was like, right. And so I'd read all the books. I'd seen all the films.

I'd go, right, I need to do the decent thing. So I quit college and I got a job in an old people's home. And yeah, we did that. We went, right, okay, we're having a baby. And we did that. That's incredible. And how does that affect, like We went, right, okay, we're having a baby. And we did that. That's incredible. And how does that affect, like, a month into your relationship,

for want of a better term, you're on a kind of honeymoon period. And then suddenly you're having to make big decisions together. Presumably you don't live together at this point. No. So you're moving to Gravesend. Difficult to suddenly change your relationship in that way it just kind of we just did it it was a we just went right fine we're doing this now because I think they'd always been you know there have been kids around me my whole life you know everybody was having kids there were people and that wasn't that's not a strange age to have two children and settle down like

from our area at 20 no it No, it just was a thing. And so I remember going back to my mum's, my mum and dad's, and then I'd say, look, mum, I'm going to move out. I'm going to go and live with Lisa. And she was like, all right, if that's what you want to do. And so I remember we were driving down and I had all my stuff. I was 19. I was 19 when she was pregnant.

I was 20 when we had her. And I remember driving down and bags of stuff in the car and mum's going like, you know, just be careful. Just do this, just do that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then when we got down the end

and I'd been quiet the whole time. I'm like, oh God, I've got to tell her. I've got to tell her. And then I got out of the car. Oh God, so she didn't even know at this point? No, no. She just thought I was in love. Oh, wow.

So then I get out of the car and I get in my stuff and I'm like, oh God, I was in love. Oh, wow. So then, I get out of the car and I get in my stuff and I'm like, I've got to tell her, I've got to tell her. So I'm like, mum,

Lisa's pregnant. And she went, I knew it. Mums know. I thought you were being weird. So then, and so, yeah,

and so, it's amazing how, even're you're basically a kid yourself you kind of adapt that's what human beings are really good at we do adapt to our surroundings yeah so we ended up we just we just did it and then you know and we sort of were all learning as we went along but we're very lucky to have a lot of support around us how was it any disasters any disasters with the baby when i because you don't know what you're doing at 20 look holding a baby just sat there with a baby i've got a baby now we lived because we lived in this townhouse right and so there were a lot of stairs and we had those you know those walkers you put them in

those little wheat and they wheel himself around like it's got a tray on the front and they push themselves around yeah i remember he was his name's kianu as well i'm so glad kianu turned out to be a legend and not a pervert oh no the names you could have picked oh but the thing is because because lisa was very spiritual and she was into crystals and all that sort of thing and kianu actually means something like rain over the mountain or something like that so she was like yeah we all that sort of thing. And Keanu actually means something like rain over the mountain or something like that. So she was like, yeah, we should call him that.

But, yeah, so Keanu would be in this little wheelie thing. And I remember I was in the kitchen and she kept going, keep on running, I'm getting in the shower. I'm like, all right, all right, yeah, yeah. And I'm making a cup of tea or whatever I'm doing. And I just heard this, and Keanu had gone down the stairs. Oh, my God. Did he stay upright?

Yeah. Yeah, he got wedged in a banister halfway down. Oh, my God. The thing is, though, if you're, like, 20 and you're skin, and you're renting a townhouse, whatever it is you was in, you can't...

It's about 15 stair gates you need, isn't it, in a townhouse? We had to keep moving it around depending on what room we were in. Oh, you did? So if you're in the kitchen, you put put one you had to put it across the kitchen door during the lounge put it across there amazing and so like you because then they would have been like when you were like 35 they would have been 15 16 and they're like your mate then so did you ever feel like they were like your mate as well as your kid because you're so young still absolutely

even now even now it's like, yeah, because there's not that big a gap. So it's really cool, you know. And what's cool as well, now they're older and they've got, well, you don't realise, you still worry about your kids. They're your kids. They never will not be your kids. But you don't realise that they've got their own thoughts

and opinions on things and they've sussed out the world around them for themselves. And, you know, they need you, but they don't need you. You know, they're grownups in their own right. And I remember what you can do now, you can kind of, you get like an assessment as a parent. It's like, so how did I do? You know, like you get like an appraisal.

Well, have they given you feedback? Because I was worried that I, because, you know, Lisa and I stayed together for a couple of years and then we spent most of the nineties getting back together and splitting up. And then Bailey came along and then, you know, we got back together and we split up and we did all that. And then, you know, again, I was, I was still young. There was a lot of,

I still felt I needed to do stuff that I hadn't done when I was younger. And so you make mistakes and you, you know, you, you fuck up a little bit, but then, and then I remember saying to the lads, I was like, I just feel like I could have been better. And then I, what are you on about that? You know, despite everything, you were still around, you know, they used to come to me every weekend. My partner at the time, uh, we used to, we got this house. It was like a ski chalet in the middle of nowhere in, in, uh,

in Caterham near Croydon. So there were no neighbors. we've got this house it was like a ski chalet in the middle of nowhere in in uh in catering near croydon there were no neighbors there was all this wood there was like there were deers in the in the garden and there was all manner of uh animal life and snakes and all sorts and they had the best time and they just went that was great dad it was great yeah and you were beating yourself up the whole time yeah does that because when you're splitting up and you're getting back together and stuff was it difficult to i know people that have split up recently and stuff, and it's really, it's difficult to put the kids first and take all that personal kind of problems away from them

and keep them insulated from that. Did you find that was a kind of really at the forefront of your mind? We were really good, actually, Lisa and I. Even at points where we just despised each other and really hated each other, we never used the kids against each other. It was never like you're never seeing your kids. We made sure that the kids knew that they were loved

and never really, you know. And it got to the point where Lisa and I ended up being really good mates. Yeah. Actually, despite everything, despite how young we were when we met, we actually were quite mature going forward. We had our moments, of course. Those moments normally occur when either one of you starts seeing someone new

and then that person's introduced to the kids. Was that a problem? You know, I've had friends where that's always, that's sort of been an issue in the past. It's all sort of gravy until someone gets a boyfriend or a girlfriend and they get introduced to the kids and that's where it gets a bit edgy. Well, do you know what? It's funny.

It would normally be the other way around. I would meet someone or Lisa would. But then because Lisa and I were really close, sometimes it would affect the new relationship. Because I just thought that's what you did. I was like, look, no matter what happens, Lisa and the boys are the most important.

Yeah, of course. But I love you and this is great, but I need to take care of them still. There was still a sense of... Very intense way to open a first date, Rich.

Very intense. I like you, but just so you know, Lisa and the kids are more important than you and always will be. Is it my Tinder profile? Yeah.

Sean's sparkling with frizzy water. You will never never match them but um do you want to go also that so you had that with your like new partners would be a bit like well what's going on here you're a bit too pally pally because they'd feel insecure as well you know it's easier for the new person if the if you despise your ex isn't it it? Yeah. But then, you know, I was very lucky as well that I'd met, I'd met people that were very accepting as well. And, you know, it kind of became a really nice sort of unit. Everyone, you know, everyone sort of got along. It was very nice. Did the boys ever kick off with new people?

You know, when they were teenagers, were they ever difficult? No, but I did realise there'd been, there's been a couple of relationships where they didn't like the person and i didn't realize until after oh really and they i was like i remember the last couple of years and i was with someone and i never saw him i never saw him and i'm like when you come come to the flat i live in a really nice place you come down you know yeah maybe maybe and it's not too hard. You're like, oh, yeah, she's a dickhead. But they kept it quiet.

Yeah, and I'm like, all right. I didn't realise. Oh, Dad, I'd rather just, you know, we didn't know what you were doing. Yeah. What's the, like, there's this kind of big thing where it's like, when they're 18, I'm going to take them for their first legal pint

and all that kind of stuff. Did you do that? You've been on the lash with your son. You know, it's funny because my youngest, Bailey, I said to him, because the way my father and I stayed connected, you know, was through music. So we'd go and see bands together when I was growing up. Yeah.

So he introduced me to all manner of amazing bands, like The Damned and all these other cool things. And so I thought, I knew Bailey was more into his music than Keanu was. So I thought, maybe I'll do that with Bailey. But he was never interested, never interested. And then one day I said to him, why don't you have a pint with your dad?

He went, because dad, he used to come in and he'd had a few. He said, you'd come in and you were just like bouncing on the bed and you were mucking around and he goes and it frightened me a little bit and I'm like I was being

because I was exuberant I was pissed and I'm like hey get up come on he said and it really troubled me oh god

sorry he's alright now we've had a pint now but yeah I tell you what though you're a different parent to me because if I come in and they're asleep

there's no way I'm going, yeah get up absolutely absolutely not I just play with a car and yeah I've got a really good relationship with my lads and they, it's really funny like I said, they kind of

they've worked it out for themselves, they know what's going on they have a good idea about what's happening politically and all the changes and things like that. And I remember hearing my youngest, Bailey, saying to his mate, he goes, well, you know, the thing is with Dad, he just needs a little bit of looking after. Oh, God.

How did that feel? I was like, yeah, he's probably right, actually. I don't smell her happening in about 30 years, Rich. Not now. No, but already I'm like, well, I think because I am a bit of an idiot and I do end up in situations where I shouldn't. Didn't you move in with your boys? Was it Bailey you moved in with?

So Keanu lived with me in Greenwich while he was studying to be a dancer. And then when India and I sadly broke up, up i ended up i moved in with him in bounds green what was that like being the tenant of your son did you have to pay housekeep he said yeah it's like the room because people talk about moving back in with their parents but not their parents moving back in with their kid i know it's a weird one it's funny because i was like i didn't charge you rent for two years, you cheeky bastard. How did you, did you come to him and go, I need to move in? Or did he go, why don't you come and move in with me?

They knew there were, they knew there'd been issues, there'd been problems. And they just said, look, if you need anywhere to stay, then we've got a spare room, come and stay with us. And then one day he sort of, everything sort of came to a head. And so I went over to Bounds Green and just went, can I stay for a bit? And then I ended up staying. I did end up living with them for, we stayed in Bounds Green

for about six months. And then they were like, oh, this is working really well. Why don't we get a flat together? That's great. So who's we? Is this you and Keanu? And his now wife, Mary.

And it's Mary who sorts everything out. This isn't my, my lad's more like me. So it's more Mary. But listen, you're a pair of idiots, but I'll take care of this. So she found this really good flat in Crouch End. We ended up living there for a year.

It's brilliant. Oh, wow. So how does it work if you're living with your son who's in a relationship, you're single now, you meet someone, do they come back to the flat?

Real wrong reversal, yes. What? Yeah, what? And you're creeping in, telling her to inquire. Is your mum or dad living there? No, my son. So how did that work? Or did you not do that? Or you didn't bring anyone back?

I didn't bring anyone back. It wasn't wasn't like that yeah because in the morning he's like meeting a new mum you're my new stepmom i never did it because it was funny because like we india and i'd broken up because i was gigging all the time i was i didn't really have time i was always running around gigging you don't have to make excuses if you can't pull anymore, Rich. It's fine. Just really too busy for women, actually. Yeah, I was really, I was way too busy for women from the age of 13 to 22. Just too busy, like,

sort of being on my own eating. You know what I mean? Who's been too busy for you for the last few years as well? Yeah, actually, I've been quite busy the last six years, as it goes. Just non-stop busy busy busy

no time no chance for it do you know what I mean no time at all yeah so I didn't really I didn't really date anybody and then I met someone

who was in comedy another comedian so I ended up sort of staying around there a bit yeah because it's a bit awkward isn't it to bring someone back

to the you know well they got I mean like Keanu and Mary Saseko this is brilliant like you know we get half the rent paid and you're never here yeah i suppose as well because going into the bounds green one that might have felt a bit like oh my god i'm moving in with my son and his partner but then in crowd change you sort of went in it together and it made it a bit more of a 50 50 thing do you know what i mean that that's psychologically it must have been easier than just like can i come in because it's you're going into

there what if you've looked at a flat together then you're doing something as a three but going in like when it's their flat it's like and you're going oh can i put can i have that shelf for the my milk you know i mean like student halls. Was there a rota? I do remember when I'd first moved out and I was sitting, all my stuff was boxed up in the corner of my bedroom and everything was there. It was around. I was just lying on my bed.

I'm like, what have I done? It was a moment. This is not how I thought this would go. Did he let you put any posters up or was the blue taxi no no posters not allowed I remember we'd done a gig in

it was called Aldberg or whatever it is it's sort of Norfolk Suffolk way on the coast and we found some vintage furnishings this massive sideboard and I brought it back and there was this massive sideboard and i brought it back and there was nowhere to put it so i put it in the bathroom because the bathroom was really big and he came in one day he went that well that that's not staying there is it dad there's a sideboard in the bathroom having to run furniture purchases past your kids um i've seen a sideboard

have they got kids yet you know yet any kids no grandkids yet they're talking about it Keanu and Mary are talking about it maybe she's just started her own business so it won't be yet

yeah and they both the lads live in Bristol now oh right yeah and so do you go down much I go there all the time all the time

I love them they're such beautiful boys and I remember when they got a dog got a little dog called Bernard and they were calling he goes oh here comes grandad and I'm when they got a dog got a little dog called Bernard and they were calling he goes oh here comes

grandad and I'm like absolutely not absolutely not well yeah because if you know if they had kids when you had kids you would have been

a grandad at 40 yeah well this is what I know of my mum she was 39 when I said I'm gonna have a kid my age yeah

still living to this day I've got a one year old like how that's such a different existence isn't it My age? Yeah. Still living to this day. I've got a one-year-old. Like, that's such a different existence, isn't it? Your mum was a gran, and I'm complaining about having a one-year-old. Same age. How are you finding that one? How are you finding that? Oh, walking apart, mate.

Don't know what people are complaining about. I do remember one of Lisa's friends, Lisa's's mum's friends was this giant biker dude called nick very imposing dude he was massive and he ate like proper hell's angel darms and the the mullet and the he was huge but such a gentle soul and i remember when it was all when it all started and it was all kicking off and lisa was getting pretty big and he took me to he took me to one side and he went he goes he goes how are you doing i'm like yeah i'm all right he goes because i realized that no one's no one's gonna ask you this it's all gonna be about the mom and the baby which is as it should be you know he's like no one's gonna know it's not about you

anymore he said so are you all right and i'm like oh yeah i'm getting my head around it he's like that's all right he goes you can talk to me whenever you want and he used to take me out it's like trans and it's american car and he used to take me out in that and then we'd have a chat about parenthood and life and all that brilliant dude really cool it's like something from an american indie movie isn't it like guardian angel who's a hell's angel i don't know pun intended yeah well that's the thing though, isn't it? I think being a dad at 20 in the 90s must be a lot different than being a dad in your 20s now.

Because now, if you're a dad that doesn't do nappies, I think that's old. That's like, what do you mean you don't do nappies? That's like Jacob Rees-Mogg. That's like someone like that out of touch. Yeah. Back then, what was it like? Was you expected to do anything with the kids or just go and earn the money?

Was it a bit old school like that? No, you were expected to do your bit. It was funny, actually, because I'm sure it's from a mummy saying this. Lisa had had an operation on her breasts. So she'd had them reduced. So they weren't connected. So she couldn't breastfeed. Right.

So you're not there isn't this like oh i've got to get up and feed the kids it's like right we're there's no excuse that you're getting up we're taking it and i'm like yeah i'll get to work in the morning i don't give a shit you're up yeah yeah the worst thing when you're doing the formula and you go all right it's my turn it's like three o'clock in the morning and you go down to the fridge and you've forgotten to do the bottles before oh my god the sterile also i don't think the 92 didn't have the machines that we've got now the tommy tippy do you know about the tommy tippy rich what's that so a machine right where like if you've got to do a bottle you put the bottle in it and it tells you how many scoops

to put in two three or four and then it automatically puts the right amount of hot water in for you to shake it up and then it puts in the exact amount of water to make it a proper bottle just by pressing one button no we're doing ourselves acoustic yeah unplugged unplugged mate you get that you got the you got the giant tub of formula and then you got the scoop and then you scrape it off with a knife you know one two oh man i do sort of think what kind of formula was it in the 90s just like the bottom of an hamster cage just like chugs up because i do think like there's a lot of pressure on women to do breastfeeding and stuff like that because it's supposedly the best thing you do and you can connect with a baby and

that but i do find that because we did we did a combination i did a lot of bottles as well was i i think the dad gets a much better opportunity to bond with the child and also do more of it in the night because you can help. If a baby's exclusively breastfed, you feel a bit excluded and alienated from it. You don't feel like you're doing your bit. You're not with the baby. You're just basically just almost like a PA running around going, oh, do you need your drink?

Do you need a cup of tea? And you don't actually do any being a dad stuff. You just do support work for someone with a kid. Loads of toast. Loads of toast. Where I feel like doing that formula, I think it's good for the dad to really feel connected with the kid. And I find, you know,

when people moan about struggling to form that bond, if you've been excluded from that because it's just breastfeeding, which is great, I think sometimes women beat themselves up if they're not breastfeeding. But I think it gives the dad or the partner such a great opportunity to help, you know, and do something and connect with the baby. Yeah, absolutely.

All those well-rested dads you see at nursery, they've got no connection with their baby. That's what you're telling yourself. All them fit, sexy guys that are getting sleep. Back then, Rich, you would have been well within your rights of not having anything to do with them to your point. Not in your right, that's the wrong way of putting it, but it wouldn't have been so frowned upon at 20.

He's 20 years old. He's just off. He's just working. He's just getting the money in. Let the mum do the baby. But I think you, by doing that, and you were on it with the formula and stuff like that, it feels like you've got such a great bond with your kids,

which could have been really hard to have, considering your age and you and Lisa not being together the whole time. I think you've done really well to keep that. It does. It feels like you, you've got such a great bond of your kids, which could have been really hard to have considering your age and you and Lisa not being together the whole time. I think you've done really well to keep that. And I think a lot of people listening would go, Oh God, I'm not there as much. I'm getting the weekends, but not all the time. But I think you're proof that you can still have a really, really strong connection with your sons and daughters. If, even if you're not there the whole time, because of what goes on. Absolutely. I think you have to just, there the whole time because of what goes on absolutely i think you have to just it's hard because you know human beings we we do a lot we do have a selfish streak in us and we're like

what about me what about me and you you know you're battling that all the time and and then what happens if you split up with somebody and you're like oh well fuck them fuck them all you know you got just don't you know try to stay remain maintain focus on the kids and and try and make it as fun for them as possible and you know but you know there are people that don't care you know they'll just go i took you to mcdonald's two weeks ago what's from you know you know there are something like that but did you ever take one holiday on your own like for a week or so to spain or something like that when they were little or well we we got back together for a bit and the first time I'd been on a on a plane was in 1998 when we went to

Forteventura well so you were 28 26 yeah first time you went on a plane and you've got an eight year old and they're going what's a plane like and you're like I've got no idea no idea and what's brilliant is that I think Bailey was how how old was Bailey? So Bailey, no, it wasn't Bailey, it was Keanu. And Keanu was just talking about death and crashing. And you couldn't calm him down because you weren't confident yet. I had no idea. I'd never been on one. I didn't know what to do.

And he's like, and I'm like, I don't know. And Lisa was trying to explain. So look, when it, when it takes off, you'll get pinged to your seat and it's quite the thing and i just just i'm just white knuckling it just you're scared i've never been in a plane oh now i'm just you know whatever but it was the first time yeah you're like oh my god and looking out the window because you're so high you can't comprehend how high you are i'm scared of heights but for some some reason, when I'm that high,

I'm like, no, this is fine. Yeah. I never get that when people fly to places like Dubai or New York and they just go up a really tall building. I'm like, you've been higher on the way here. What are we doing? And if you didn't see it, you're going to be higher again on the way back. That's guaranteed. If I know anything about going to dubai i will be in a plane there and back do you know what i love

is that everyone's so we had the london eye and then now in every major city in the world there's an eye and it really makes me laugh when it's like all right london pretty you know there's some things to see or you know wherever but i don't know going on the going on a night in like i don't know bradford yeah hopefully if you squint you can see leads no offense bradford love you guys yeah let's go to bradford on tour that's gonna be a good one no disrespect to the people of bradford so let's go through some of the some of the kind of things that me and rob had parenting wise isofix isofix

did you have isofix no what's that oh my god we just about had cowpaw so isofix is yeah go that puts the car seats You put that in and then you put the car seat on that. You don't use the struts. Oh, what? No. No isofix? Well, when I was a kid, I remember my dad had a van and we used to travel around in this van.

And my dad got deck chairs and put them in the back of the van. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't even bolt them in. We used to have to hang on to the seats in front of him. Amazing. Yeah. So there was no car

seats and uh i do remember i do remember yeah when i so i learned to drive in 93 i remember the first time trying to put the car seat in it's one of those ones where you put it you can put it in the front seat and then you put it facing the other way which i don't just with you know with the airbags now imagine that flying out. What about, what about pram? What was that like? Oh yeah, no,

pram was all right. We were lucky enough to, my, my mum bought us a, bought us a decent pram. It was one of those ones that you could kick open with one leg.

Oh, very modern. No, you know, that must have made you the king of the war. You just got to ching this up

and you did kids in it and, you know, but yeah, we never had technology like you've got now. Mate, You're the king of the war. You just got to chink this up and you're the kids in it. And, you know, but yeah, we never had technology like you've got now. Mate, join the revolution. You need to have another kid. You'll love the technology so much. Yeah, it'll be like, this is so much easier now. So the big one is, it feels so wrong, you couldn't Google what it was.

No. No Google. There was the odd book of how to raise your kids and that, but you kind of just figured it out. Like you took advice from all the other parents around you, your mum and dad, and who would, no disrespect, love my mum and dad, but were very wrong about a lot of it. Then they were taught by parents that were during the war,

you know, been in the war. So, you know, they were very, a bit more robust with their parenting techniques. You know, it is a bit more, a bit more hands-on. And what was the kind of situation with sleep in those days? Because I've heard basically some, it seems like people just left the baby and then it was fine until about 2001. That's how it seemed to me. There was that, was it called crying? Crying out.

Crying out. Yeah. But that's really, you know, that's so, when you first had, when you first take that baby home, I still remember, it was such a beautiful moment. I remember laying him in his crib and we had a little light on the side. And my mate, it was a plaster had built a dividing wall in our,

with his big bedroom and he'd built a dividing wall. So he'd sort of call it off the side. And that was the little baby's room. And I remember being in there and just looking at him and it's just, and he was like gently snoring and just, you know, doing baby noises. It was one of the most beautiful things ever. And then when they start crying and you're like oh my god i don't know what to do and you sort of you instinctively you pick it up and then you're like all right so you change it you feed it and you do that and then it

i don't know it just we had it in we had kiana in the bed a lot yeah yeah it was not i just couldn't i just couldn't do it i didn't want to you know you want to and there's other times when i do remember when there was one night and it was like four o'clock in the morning and we'd fed him changed him and he's still screaming and he's just hanging on to the side of the cot going i don't know what to do he's hanging out in the crib like that going i don't know what to do and so when people go yeah just let him cry it out you're like it's it's it's such a blood curdling scream yeah yeah there is i remember that you have flashbacks those moments when they're little and you're just like,

I don't, I, yeah, I just don't know what to do. And this isn't stopping. And they're just, it's awful. My depth.

Yeah. Yeah. I have nothing to offer in this situation. Well, it's a, it's a brand new, like it's a brand new job that no one's really trained for. It's like,

if you put me like in court for the journey, Amber, her trial, and I had to do a cross examination, but I, I'd be like, I don't know. Don't ask, like, I don't know what I'm doing. Johnny seems all right, isn't he? Or not? Yeah, that's the thing.

You know, now there's all manner of videos and then there's seminars and there's groups and there's... NCT, was that around? Is that where you go to to is that where you do a group to little groups yeah we went yes we did go to one yeah we did i remember yeah i remember going to one or two we got annoyed and we stopped going because the people the other people just idiots it's just yeah oh shut up they're just no whatsapp groups though which i think it's a blessing actually yeah i'll go back to that time. See, that's it.

There was none of that. It wasn't the internet. It sounds so archaic now, thinking back. It does feel like we're talking to a kind of a mum from the 60s at the moment. Like we're asking you, what was life like before the internet, Rich? Tell us about this magical world. When he comes back during the war. I think that's why this sort of podcast

works where there wasn't anywhere where you could talk about it how you felt and what was going on and other people that were experiencing it unless there was someone within your immediate family that had a baby what do you do it's different when they're at school because you get the other school parents and stuff but when they're at the baby stage

you're a bit alone because you can't just go up to another person with a baby in a coffee shop and go is yours being a shit as well you know i'm at the end of my tevri because everyone's going yeah i'm good it's going great i love it isn't it a miracle you're kind of fucking tired i don't know what to do and it's funny where because you do you feel like you're on your own because all your mates you know i was we were young she was 21 i was 20 you know all your mates kind of they're off they're going to ibiza and they're doing whatever they're doing did you have fomo and stuff like that i know fomo haven't been invented by that point it was just pure simple jealousy back then none of you complicated

jealousy also the 90s that really like to be you know to be 20 in 92 is probably one of the best times to be 20 over 100 years you basically got for the next 10 years you're going to have brit pop and in the millennium and all that stuff and you're a 96 all that built up and then you've got you're you're like oh my god this is unbelievable but then you've got these two kids yeah i think that was half the problem was that the 90s was so great you know you're you're still young and you're but like you've just said you're battling those feelings i want to be out i want to be doing this and i think we that's a lot of the reason why lisa and i broke up quite a few times and i I remember when we first had Keanu, Lisa moved out. There was a moment she just went, I can't handle this.

And she moved out and I had Keanu on my own and she went back to work and she was living at her mate's house. And we sort of back and forth the whole of the 90s, you know. And so, yeah, it was a weird time. I think that's why the year 2000, we broke up properly. We went, that's it. This isn't working. Great way to bring in the new millennium. Yeah, that was a weird time. I think that's why the year 2000, we broke up properly. We went, that's it. This isn't working. Great way to bring in the new millennium.

Yeah, that is it. You know what? New millennium, new start. New Labour didn't change anything. Let's break up. Tony Blair promised. Well, I was so much pinned on that man, and he let us all down.

This is fucked. So, yes, we ended up breaking up in 2000, and then I ended up kind of going 2000 and then uh yeah i ended up kind of going back and trying to relive bits i've missed yeah is there times when you're going out in your 40s because now your son's 20 so you don't have to get up when you're catching up on when you're 21 yes there's a moment there are some moments and you yeah i remember being out and just i've been out all night and i knew they were obviously i've been out all night and i went i'm going over there like yeah the boys are coming over uh later on

oh god and i was hanging absolutely yeah and i came in but because they're you know they were of age sort of thing and i walked in and they went and they just went what have you been doing how old were they they're like late teens, early twenties. And they're like, you're all right, dad. I'm fine. Yeah,

fine. I'm good. I'm going to have a shower. You just have one. You're all right. All right. He just had one. It's because I'm,

I'm thinking about giving up drinks. I just can't handle the hangovers anymore. But do you get a second wind when the kids are teenagers then? Cause mine is six and four and I can't do it. It's game over. You might do, yeah, you probably will. You'll get a burst of like, suddenly out of nowhere you'll be,

oh, this is great. Back on again. I have to drink in such a controlled situation where I know that I have to have in my head gone, is tomorrow going to be okay? The idea of, you know, like the impromptu pint. I've not had an impromptu pint since like pre-Brexit. Like the idea of just being hung over is such a kind of military operation now for me.

I just can't do it really. Oh God, you can't be hung over when you've got little kids. You can't. It's because when you, what people don't realise, when you have kids, your life is over. And I don't mean that in a bad way. It's not about you. No, no, you don't mean that sentence, your life is over in a bad way.

No. I mean, it's not about you anymore. It's about the child. It's about the children. Yeah, totally. And you are, that's not about you anymore. It's about the child. It's about the children. And you are, that's it now. It's just 24-7 kids. And yeah, and of course, that's stressful. And you get those points where you go,

what about me? I'm still a human. I'm still a person. I've got wants and needs. But then that's why... I want another shower. Third of the day. Just let me be.

Stop judging me you'll get but this is why things are you know for a better example going to the football

or having a night off whatever you're doing it's just you know you love kids you love your kids you'd die for your kids of course you will

but you know even with your best mate you don't want to be around them all the time normally we'd say we'd end with asking But, you know, even with your best mate, you don't want to be around them all the time. Normally, we'd say, we'd end with asking if there's something about the parenting of your partner that annoys you that you've never brought up. Now, obviously, in this situation,

I'm going to give you the option of either talking about the mother of your children, your ex, who you get on very well with, or anything about your flatmate, your child, that annoys you them as a child that you've never brought up I think

the first you've got to pick your battle wisely here mate it's going to be a tough it's your ex-wife or your son that's what we're going with ex-wife ex-wife ex-girlfriend or son

oh my god do you know what I think he needs to be a bit more he needs to be a bit more tidy. I think sometimes I'm like, mate, you're going to have to just tidy up a bit. That pube on the toilet has been in there a while. It's not another one.

Worrying about your son's pubes, though. That is a weird world, isn't it? Your son's pubes. Worrying about your own son's pubes. Do you know, there was once I went into Greenwich. I didn't know he was in. And I'd come in and I went to go in the bathroom. And he was in the bath.

I didn't realise. I went, I'm sorry, mate. I came out and I saw he's Willie. He's grown up, Willie. Mate, wicked. Yeah, it was massive. There's a pride. I'm like, I make that.

Yeah, but to see him in his pop. In his prime, were you about to say? In his prime. Like seeing Diego Maradona at the Mexico World Cup. A pivotal moment for everybody. You knew where you were when you saw your son's

cock for the first time like watching the Beatles perform on the roof of Apple basically wasn't it bigger than yours Rich

yeah unfortunately yes but the thing is the next generation are always bigger like my lads are both yeah yeah right

natural selection is that how it works? Yeah, that's what it is. You know, survival of the fittest. Right, Rich, thank you so much. You've been brilliant. Thank you. I will tell you this, though. I mean, there is talk of maybe babies in the future.

Oh, really? I'll come over part two, yeah. So you're not out. I thought you were out. You're back in the game. Well, I've done my time. I feel like I've had a nice run. I've made up for lost time.

The FOMO's gone. I don't, you know, I've done all the things I want to do. I think it's time to settle down. Settle down at 50. At 50, yeah. And have a kid. Well, if you have another kid, definitely back on. Good luck.

And, yeah, I'll give you a podcast, Insane in the Membrane. Give that a listen. Talking to mainly comedians about men's mental health. It's funny as well, but it's also very interesting. Yeah, it's all my stuff. But I'll have to get you on, Josh. Just get you on. Yeah, well, up for that.

Cheers, Rich. Thanks, boys. Bye. Richard Wilson there. From Offer the Grove, yeah. That's what he said when his wife was pregnant I don't believe it anyway

oh god where was that an hour ago bloody hell oh god he's a lovely boat rich so funny yeah what a great story

yeah he's just sort of a very quite a free spirit just sort of quite floaty around and doing different things but having a kid at 50 potentially

what a part two could you imagine moving in with your daughter Rob I mean i look that i think the bounds green move was a real low point for him and i think he'd agree to that but then once they went look okay if this is what we're doing let's get a lovely big flat and crouch end and it'll be nice yeah how would you have been at 20 what's quite an interesting thing for our listeners to do is trace back through some relationships you've been in for just a month and imagine what your life would be like if you

two had now i've just had one and i just actually felt physically sick it was actually a cold shudder come over you know like in a in a in a in like horror films when you find out the killer's your husband or wife or you know like they're in the house so basically you get a text message you go he's the killer and you look up and you're making him a cup of tea and he stood by the knife drawer oh my god i would have been i would have knuckled down and ended up i wouldn't have done comedy i would have ended up really pursuing some sort of office job or sales job and i would have got loads of money and provided and i would have been really unhappy and i would have just muddled through and then died at 70 looking back and gone only if i rubbed up but that's me rich has made a much better success

of his life and enjoyed it a lot happier but um yeah what about you Josh one month relationship at 20 one month relationship fucking hell I'd have killed for a one month relationship at 21 I'd have killed

for a 30 minute 30 second one but right Josh I'll speak to you on Tuesday we've got lots to catch up on bye

see you then