Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP40: Katherine Ryan (The Return)

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

S04 EP40: Katherine Ryan (The Return) Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) it's the return of our first ever guest on Parenting Hell, the brilliant comedian, Katherine Ryan. Katherine's new TV series 'Backstage with Katherine Ryan' is available to watch now on Amazon Prime. Thanks, Rob + Josh.BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookWe're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK?Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there...ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley)28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Behold the DQ Freezer! An extraordinary freezer holding all the Blizzard flavours of the past. It's opening to bring back Rolo and Brownie Batter. Grab them before the DQ Freezer closes. Only at DQ. Happy tastes good. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting,

each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittaker. Good girl. Hi, guys. Thanks for getting us all through lockdown and for being sexy and relatable while doing it.

Here's my two-and-a-half-year-old, Erin, saying your names ago. This was the one and only attempt, as this I was allowed to do before being growled at. We're due to have another girl at the end of June, so we'll be needing more tales of woe to get me through the next 18 months plus. From Alistair and Family Ray, R-A-E. Originally from King's Langley in Hertfordshire, living in Warwick. There we go

lovely very nice Erin nice name Erin Erin Brockovich got any other Erins? there was one at the most primary school

I once took over a job from a girl called Erin in an accounts department at an office and I was having to do her job and I found a drawer

full of invoices that hadn't been sorted out and there had to be an emergency meeting oh my god that's incredible and she just basically just hid them i love the fact that you're the one who's lifting the lid on it rob well that's actually well no but yeah because i found this drawer of

stuff going what needs to happen to this and they thought that had been nothing dodgy had gone on she just hadn't done some work there was no like anything naughty or illegal it's just that she like swerved a load of work and then um because lou also we used to work together me and lou and she was in doing my job in another department she was in your meeting as well and lou had to help me sort it out and nothing's really changed since then really and i was on 500 quid a year more than her I was on 17

17 and a half grand and she was on 17 grand do you know what Rob you're still bringing in the bacon aren't you well she's still with her 50k followers on Instagram

give it a few years oh yeah it's only one of you bringing a Papa John's sponsorship that's for sure stop bringing up Papa John's

sorry because they're getting what they wanted the bars of Domino's do you know what Domino's is good isn't it I love Domino's. Pizza Express.

Yes, please. Love that. Franco Manca. Why not? Oh, yeah. Come on. Home Slice. Pizza Pilgrims.

That's better. We've done them all now. Is there any left? You haven't tuned in to Ed Gamble and James Acaster by mistake. This is still Parenting Hell. That's how I imagine the podcast. They must be bored by food by now. They say that about us and children, Rob.

Yeah, but we have to look after our kids. They don't have to eat all that. That's true. You do have to keep eating, though. Even if we hate talking about our kids, we have to talk about them anyway because they're going to be there for the next 18 years. Do they really care what, you know,

Simon from Union J likes on a sandwich? What a reference. I don't even know if there is a Simon from Union J likes on a sandwich. What a reference! I don't even know if there is a Simon in Union J. I haven't thought about Union J in a decade. That is why this podcast works. Union J members, who have we got? I like that. Jamie, JJ, George, Josh, Casey.

That's a shame. Yeah, because why aren't they called Union J because they all began with J? Oh, I've had a fucking howler. Yeah, why is Casey in there? He needs to have a word with himself. Casey Johnson. Casey Johnson. It's very, very tenuous,

the reason they were called Union J. But he joined 2016 to 2017. Did he? George Selly's the main guy. Imagine being a late member of Union J. What a life. Anyway, they'll be on next week. I'm sure they've got a book to promote. We've got no one as good at singing, but this bloke Union J. What a life. Anyway, they'll be on next week. We can show off the God book to promote.

We've got no one as good at singing, but this bloke called Jax just turned up. I could have been in Union J. You could have been in Union J. I can't be in Union J. Do you remember when we said to each other before we started recording, let's keep this intro short,

and now we're talking about fucking Union J? Right. And you also said, we just talk, we talk about our kids. We don't fucking, we talk about Union J for two minutes. One of the geese in Union J had a severe... Oh, God, he's still going. I don't know which one it was. George, not even George Shelley.

Was that George Shelley? Sorry. This is Catherine Ryan. They all look different, every photo. No, no. How many times can one of us say this is Catherine Ryan? I think George Shelley was supposed to be the Harry Styles of the group. No, right.

Right, sorry. Okay, here's Catherine Ryan. This is Catherine Ryan. Hello, Catherine Ryan. Welcome back to Parenting Hell. We're very excited to have you back, Catherine. Thank you for having me back. You made us.

You launched us. It is an honour, and I've had a whole new baby just so that I could come back on You made us. You launched us. It is an honor. And I've had a whole new baby just so that I could come back on the show because it's so successful. Oh, it's a great promo opportunity to have a baby. It's a superb bit of promo opportunity. Yeah. So did you have the baby like knowing that this prime show was coming out and you needed something to talk about? Or what came first, the baby or the prime show?

needed something to talk about or did what came first the baby or the prime show actually the baby delayed the prime show because during my pregnancy i basically wasn't telling anyone because i don't know if you guys know this but you can't really get insured on any production if you're pregnant they don't they yeah like sometimes if you're important enough they'll go the extra mile you know you'll see holly will it be pregnant on the voice and that's because she's worth it um but uh no now they're like uh-uh we don't insure they're happy to put that in black and white too so did you keep it secret then i did i tried to keep it secret people just thought i was really fat for ages lou clocked it lou clocked it early doors yeah she was like katherine's pregnant i was like i think so but she's keeping it quiet and then you told us and i told her she's

like i knew it yeah i had to keep it quiet because And then you told us and I told her, she's like, I knew it. Yeah. I had to keep it quiet because I still needed to work to feed my family. And I'd been off kind of the whole pandemic. So that's so bad. I know. Then I walked onto set for this ITV show, Ready to Mingle. I was eight months pregnant on that.

And everyone was kind of like, cool. Hi. But no one can say it to your face. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So then I wanted to film backstage with Katherine Ryan and I had to tell them I was pregnant. So I told my agent, I told them

and they decided to push it back. So actually the baby nearly ruined everything. Oh, wow. Oh my God. And you've also, you've taken the baby onto panel shows. Yes. That's an incredible thing to do is that stressful no but the thing is I'm his mother and I never mean to throw you guys under

the bus when I say this because I know you're both very hands-on dads but it like no matter how uh helpful you are it isn't the same and we just have to do physically so much more and I was obviously breastfeeding him and he was just really little and he likes to be around me. So I just was like, well, I'll just start bringing in places. But I mean, I brought him on a few panel shows and he's eight days old and 10 days old and two weeks old. But then, you know, once they get a bit bigger, you can't cause they bother everyone.

Yeah. When you were like, can't get insured on shows. Is that if you're like part of like a long running series or could you still do like go on a panel show pregnant? Will they allow that or even that? I don't think they will. If you look at the health and safety forms that you fill out, the insurance forms, all of them ask if you're pregnant.

And if you go on the BBC's insurance website, which I think is Quartz, it says like in black and white, we don't insure for any matters of the womb. Any matters of the womb any matters of the womb yeah like if your vagina falls off on set that's it and you don't want to let down a production like that's the thing if you have some complication of pregnancy let's say you are on a sitcom and the whole day gets cancelled yeah that they won't be insured if you had an eye infection

and they couldn't film you that day would be insured and everyone would get paid to go home. But it's so weird. So I just lied. And I'm not sorry for lying. No. It's the same way as like all those forms have got, have you ever taken drugs? And imagine the people on telly in the 90s.

No. Trying to actually do it and lying off the table as they click no. Definitely not. I can actually say I've never taken drugs. I such a such a square what was the pregnancy like was it an all right one or was it no I got really fat actually which is cool which is eye-opening because um I'd had like some experience with pregnancy loss before that so for this one I did all this research into avoiding that and there's a this thing called the Bondi protocol that I think a lot of people don't know about where you take steroids and then this intralipid IV thing every four

weeks. And apparently it calms your immune system. But what steroids will also do is turn you into an absolute sumo wrestler. So I gained how many, what is stone? I gained like three pounds. There you go. I gained three stone in three months, basically all in my face. And you're telling people you weren't pregnant. But that was the beginning of your pregnancy when you're usually quite thin because you're sick.

I just got so big. And with me, because I talk about Botox and filler and everything else, the whole of the internet was like, well, Catherine's really done it this time. She's really, and I just had to sit there with this like fat Madonna face and be like, yeah, but it didn't bother me. I thought it was really cool. Cause I've been called lots of things. And you know, when people want to say things about my appearance, it really doesn't bother me, but I had never experienced being called fat. And there is a

very interesting, uh, I mean, interesting for me because I only had to experience it, you know, like as like Katie Hopkins, like just for a minute, see what it was like. I took a little, little tourism into fat, but, um, people are really mean about being fat. They're really nasty about it. Really? I think think so and they wouldn't have said that if they knew you were pregnant kind of thing because they didn't know they just assumed that you've put on weight and started giving you shit on online not in the street not in the street either like facelift or too many fillers or fat were the three guesses oh is this on twitter or is this in the tabs both i think it didn't bother me though i just thought it was like fascinating

and did you feel like was it all right to me though I just thought it was like fascinating and did you feel like was it all right to work and stuff during your pregnancy because like you weren't too ill or too kind of I was a bit ill but you know me like I would be on fire and go to work it's a real problem yeah I'm quite I'm quite greedy I'll always show up and even like almost as a martyr like despite everyone else I'll show up it's And even like almost as a martyr, like despite everyone else, I'll show up. It's different though, because when you, if your first, because your daughter's, Violet's older now, she's what, 13, 14, is she?

Is that right? Yeah, so my son turns one this week and Violet turns 13 this week. They're like exactly 12 years apart. Oh, wow. And then when, because when you had her, you weren't with her dad. And then, but now you're, what were you? Did you separate at that point when she was young? I mean, I was technically with him, but I was pretty much alone. We'll say that. Yeah.

Okay. Let's move on from that. But, but with Bobby, you're sort of living with Bobby, your husband and he's your baby's dad and stuff. And how's that been having like the dad more involved this time? Yeah. It's a whole different world. So when I was expecting by that, I was already crossed with Violet's dad. Didn't like Violet's dad, didn't get help that I thought I deserved from Violet's dad. Fine, fine, fine. Planning my exit strategy. And with Bobby, he is like the love of my life. I always loved Bobby since I was 15 years old. He's great. He's home with the baby. so he's like a stay-at-home dad uh slash professional golfer and um i actually have so much help and because he's like his son i think bobby was kind of scared of the baby i don't know if you guys felt scared that you were gonna do something wrong when you

had newborn daughters yeah yeah i could tell that he was scared it's not that he didn't want to help but he just is so much more involved now that fred is like this big fat one-year-old who can really communicate with us and it's great especially with breastfeeding and stuff you do feel really ostracized from the process because you can't you physically can't do that you just sort of hang around nearby either not doing anything or holding the baby so then give them back to you toast toast and water yeah i found it um uh a lot easier to sort of connect with my daughter when we were bottle feeding her because luke didn't breastfeed as well in the first time but when they get to one and 18 months old and they're

they're like got a personality and they're communicating that's just an absolute game changer because then you can form your own bond in that way which i think bobby must be loving at the moment yeah and i can really tell i, he's like the white Earl Woods. He takes Fred to the golf course all the time and, like, teaches him how to golf. And Fred is such a toxic male. Like, he looks very EDL. He's, like, really fat and, like, pure white,

and he has little parted haircut, and he just grunts. He's like, ooh, ah, ooh, ah. And his first word was da-da, and then his second. He's like, and his first word was dada. And then his second word was like round and around and around for wheels. And like, he doesn't even like, we say that he calls me dad's wife because he sees me and he goes, dad, dad, dad. I'm like, he's trying to say dad's wife. He just is a misogynist.

Do you think it's nice to have a boy because obviously you're you and violet's relationship shows so strong and you've been together for so long on your own you two as a pair sort of another sort of younger sister coming in could have maybe upset the apple car a bit more than a boy yeah was that a concern i think violet was briefly concerned um because we call her there's this like well maybe this is going to get me a child services phone call, but there's a gin drink that I really like called a gimlet. And sometimes they make it with violet gin and it's called a gin gimlet. And so sometimes I just call violet gimlet. I always have since she was little and you shouldn't really name your children after a

cocktail, but you know me. Um, and at first she was like are you gonna call the baby gimlet too and i was like you know you know i'm on to margaritas now but i think in real life when the baby came along you know violet's so grown up that there's no rivalry it's like a whole different generation violet views him as being almost like her baby in a way do you find it different with the genders yeah i think he's much more rough and tumble. I suppose ours are closer as well, so there's much more of a pair and contrast, if that makes sense.

Yeah. Like, because we've just been through it. A penis is so much more difficult to clean than a vagina. Do you think? I do think. There's so many different crevices, like so many overhanging bits. Well, Josh, I hate to say this because it always gets me in trouble with Mumsnet.

But, you know, you've got to potty train them and then you don't have that issue. I know. I know. You've told me this before. Have you started potty training Fred yet? No, I have finished potty training Fred. He was potty training when he was eight months old. What?

Okay. You always talk about this let's go through this because josh now could essentially potty train his son if he wanted to if he could be bothered do you know i mean katherine if he could be bothered i'm talking about paying on me just so you know josh you could do this if you could be bothered so is it your friend eight months old potty trade yes so look i think it's too late now because if i started potty training fred now i don't think that he would cooperate right okay um so because i potty trained my children almost from birth it's very controversial i don't care

what it means is that i'm not sat there cleaning diarrhea out of any foreskins you know hello welcome to my world. Just did something this morning, actually, mate. Oh, no. Because in the words of Rob Beckett, if I could be bothered, I wouldn't be in that situation. I'm just saying. All I'm saying is Catherine could have been bothered and she was filming backstage with Catherine Ryan,

available on Prime Now. All episodes dropped. Is that a good plug? Did Amazon want us to drop it after the foreskin diarrhea stuff or before? Yeah, they said link it as close to the foreskin diarrhea comment as you can. That's good PR. So take us through this. Take us through this.

All right. So it's no judgment and it's not because you can't be bothered. It's because you are socialized in Western culture and there's this nine to five work week and you're very busy. And we're told that we can't potty train our kids till they're like 18 months also if we all did it nappy companies would lose loads of money right big nappy big nappy have got us by the absolute um conspiracy theory sorry katherine for stopping you there i'm excited when we put them in nappies you effectively train them to go in nappies. You don't think you're

training them, but that's what they learn. And so when my kids are about, I wouldn't say from birth kind of four months, I just start putting them on the potty and you read them a story or, and then like I say like, Oh, do you need to pee pee in the potty? And then if they accidentally go, which they invariably will, then you go, yeah, well done. And then you take them off and you put them without a nappy for a while. And they really like to be without a nappy. And then you just, it's really useful with poos. Cause you can see in their face when they poo. Or you can kind of learn their schedule.

So Fred would go in the morning. So as soon as he wakes up every day, we put him on the toilet and we have this potty seat that goes over our toilet. We read him some books. He always poos in the morning. He's on the same schedule as his dad. over our toilet we read him some books he always poos in the morning he's on the same schedule as his dad and then and then um i will put a nappy on him if we're out and about in case he has a wee or something but he has not pooed in a nappy for honestly like almost four or five months

and we have most wheeze in the potty as well because they just learn that like that's where they go you don't even have to do a lot of teaching. And if he fusses or he kind of like points to the potty, Violet was better. She would sign language that she needed the potty, but Fred kind of refuses most sign language, but I can tell when he needs to go. I put him on the potty. He's on a schedule. He only poos the once in the morning, always in the potty. And then most peas, like if he's been playing for like an hour and a half, I just stick them on the potty, read him a book and he will pee. He knows that when he sits on the potty, he like pushes and he will pee he knows that when he sits on the potty he like pushes and tries to pee he just gets it and um no one believes me i'm like i really don't give a shit because like i said yeah his

foreskin is sparkling clean that's the review we all want how did you find out about this i didn't i just did it with violet intuitively because i was like I wouldn't like to go to the bathroom like sat down on the floor it would be really weird difficult to do I could just tell by the look in her face so I just put her on the potty and then I started reading about it and there is loads of literature about it it's called elimination communication which I didn't even know but in like the eastern world they do it all the time I mean either they in certain rural communities they can't afford nappies or it's just normal i mean you would not believe the shit storm of hatred that i get for doing this but why i don't get why the hate because you're not saying everyone

should do it if you don't do it you're stupid it's just something that you've done and you recommend i think people are people are quite spicy it's all coming from inside it's their own problems yeah they're very you know they feel inferior as parents and if someone's saying something that they've done that's better than what they've done they automatically think you're the problem rather and it's their own self you know them beating themselves up because it doesn't matter if you don't if you do it when they're free who cares but they're just you know if you can't be bothered i'm joking i'm trying to wind them up now look if you want to be a lazy stupid fat fucking parent and wait till they're four, go for it.

But if you want to be an absolute legend like that, I'm joking, sorry, I'm winding them up. Yeah, they will. They'll come for me, right? No, but I think that's fair. You're not saying anyone should do it. You don't have to do it, but, you know, it's an option to try. They can all do it.

I didn't think that... I thought Violet was special, but now that Fred's done it, you know, I'm like, oh, they can all just do it. Yeah. It must be also... is he at nursery? No. If he goes to nursery, he's going to be the absolute legend in that toddler room. The one-year-old that can go to the toilet on his own will be the absolute boss of it.

This is the thing, though. This is why it doesn't work for a lot of families, because I don't think nursery workers would have the time to sit because they have to look after a few children. So can they sit one-on-one with Fred and read him three books in the morning? You know, we're very lucky that we have the luxury of time to do that. Also, you're getting him into reading on the toilet early, which is one of life's great pleasures is reading on the toilet. And so you're associating that with him straight away. He loves it i was

gonna say it's his first birthday tomorrow yeah are you doing much tricks i think it's a weird one first time around we did loads for my daughter we had a party yeah meant nothing to her second time around we were like he's not gonna know i feel like people have the first birthday for you guys it's like you made it let's have a All our friends over. We're starting to get our social life back. We lasted a year. We're still together, you know. But I did the same.

I had a big party for Violet's first birthday and she was livid to have all those people in her house. Yeah. And no, we're not doing anything.

Violet has a friend over today, a very impressive friend who's starring in the West End. Oh. Yeah. That musical Matilda. Yes. The Phantom of, musical Matilda. The Phantom of the Opera is here.

Oh, so a girl who plays Matilda. She doesn't play Matilda. She's in Matilda. And I'm so impressed with this kid. I'm like, you literally have a job. So she has to run off to her show shortly, but she's the only guest at Fred's birthday. I'm making him a gluten-free, dairy-free, nearly sugar-free

coconut cream cake and I put some decorations up. He doesn't give a shit. You're right. And that's it. How come you've gone for all those gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free stuff

just so... Is he off all that? Well, he had a bit of eczema and it's frustrating because... Did any of your kids have eczema? Yeah, my daughter

still got it. Yeah. I had eczema as a kid. I mean, it comes and goes. There's creams and then you put the creams on and it gets rid of it we've done all the elimination diet stuff and it hasn't really well my daughter was no dairy and then we checked to the dairy uh ladder you ever done the dairy ladder uh the milk ladder milk ladder yeah but basically if you if you can't have dairy and they're off dairy you get them back on so you start with like a digestive biscuit and then work your way up and like midway point to muffin.

To the suckling on a cow's teat. Yeah, the absolute ultimate is down in a pint of milk, just like from the udder. But then we've done that a couple of times. We got to muffin, just shit everywhere. And then we stopped. But then we went back to the start. But she's all right now. She can have all milk and dairy.

But I think they're just when they're young is when the stomachs are developing. This is the thing. So Fred never had any stomach issues, but she's all right now. She can have all milk and dairy, but I think they're just, when they're young, it's when the stomachs are developing. This is the thing. So Fred never had any stomach issues, but his skin was really bad, kind of nearing around six months. And I was, I'm a little bit nuts. So I went to all these doctors and like allergists and dermatologists that I was like, I will not tolerate this eczema. And they were like, well, there's really no answer for it. And I was like, God damn it. Because I feel like I want answers for things. So I did the elimination diet. I was breastfeeding him. So I was starving because I took out, I never ate gluten anyway, because I'm quite Irish and my whole family's celiac. Um, but I, I already am not eating gluten. And then I had to take out fish, dairy, nuts,

eggs. I was just starving. And then we reintroduced all that stuff like you said and it didn't make any difference so you're right pointless there's good there's good creams you can get for it i have the creams but yeah you know i just don't like to push it so he has some dairy now and then uh i'm not weird about you know i'm not too fastidious about the dairy how different is your upbringing to the upbringing of your children? Oh, gosh. I mean, well, my mom was young. My mom was not that young, 23,

so kind of around the age I was when I had Violet. And she did things based on what everyone else was doing and what her mother told her she should do. And she also has to work full time, so I was in a daycare. But they would leave me to cry to sleep and do all those things that I think a lot of our parents did that I absolutely won't do. And what does that mean? You did sleep wise. I sleep with Fred still. I slept with Violet for ages until she asked me to stop telling people that.

And then and then I sleep with Fred. And oh, nice. So it's you and him in a bed. And is he in the middle? Fred in the middle. Or Bobby's off? Bobby's off. Bobby's off. So Bobby's had sleep through nights the whole way. Bobby's had one year of sleep, yeah, and I've had no sleep.

So he doesn't do any of the nights because you're there? Does he not come in and take you? No. Zero. Zero nights ever. Oh, my God. Bobby's life's outrageous. Just plays Zero. Zero nights ever. Oh, my God. Bobby's life's outrageous.

Just plays golf and goes to sleep. Who the fuck do you think he is? You guys, we were all single at the same time, you know? You fucked up. I am a really nice wife. People think I'm like this, like, people think I'm high-maintenance. They think I'm really mean. I'm a nice, nice wife people think I'm high-maintenance. They think I'm really mean.

I'm a nice, nice wife. Too nice, Catherine. That's unbelievable. And is he sleeping through? Bobby, yeah, he's fine. Don't worry about Bobby. Why are you doing 12 hours, mate? Fred does not sleep through, but he sort of sleeps through.

So when he was really young, kind of like four months, he would wake up and have an hour of, like, party time. And then when he was younger than that, he would cry sometimes in the night and that's really stressful, isn't it? So now all he does is he sort of wiggles for milk. I have to feed him maybe two or three times in the night. Right. But he's too stoned. I mean, he's enormous and he's hungry all the time,

but he doesn't open his eyes and kick off if you get what I mean. Right. Yeah. So there's no worry about him like being up for two hours or any of that kind of no not at all when he's down he's like pretty much down as long as I've got the milk ready and so I have to open my eyes and wake up and sort of feed him but I can go straight back to sleep so it's not a big deal for me and you're breastfeeding him still I just stopped oh really and I feel yeah I feel badly about it. My milk like kind of just went away, um, in April, May. So he was, uh, 10, 11 months old. And it just, I know what women are talking about now when they're like, Oh,

it just didn't work for me. Cause I had loads of milk for ages and ages. Genuinely one morning I woke up and I was like, what? And then no matter what I did, and I was very stubborn. I was like pumping for 20 minutes to get one ounce. And I was like, if he has only one ounce a day, he shall have that ounce. But then I'm on a sitcom with our friend Ramesh. And you know, when you're on a sitcom, you're gone like 12 hours a day.

And I just thought, fuck it, I'm done. Oh, was that an emotional thing to do? Well, Ramesh, yeah, it's quite challenging. No, I felt really guilty about it because i did have my own standards of you know i breastfed violet for two years at the end it wasn't like in public or anything it was just at night but it's if it works for you it's so easy it's always the answer you don't have to deal with sterilizing or making milk or doing anything else so i did feel guilty but then um you know I just got over that quite

quickly. I thought, oh, this is actually awesome that I don't have to do this. And he's big enough and he's healthy. And I need to practice what I preach. Cause I tell other women, you know, whatever you do is enough. And a baby needs a happy, healthy mom and family. And you know, that is true. And my milk just was gone. So what could I do? If it's gone, it's gone, isn't it? Cause that's the thing I forget. You don't have to do any of like the bottle sterilizing and stuff like that, but then is there a pressure to do any of the bottle sterilizing and stuff like that. But then is there a pressure to make sure that you keep your boobs clean? Do you know what I mean?

If you have a slobby couple of days, you've got to shower. You're like, I mean, what do you do? Just a quick wet wipe over the nips. Or sterilize your boobs. Absolutely. Because women who have mastitis and stuff, I think that's from having dirty nips. Or you can get thrush. Dirty nips. Yeah, because I was... You get thrush nips? you can get thrush 30 nips on yeah because i

was you can and then it gives baby uh thrush in their mouth but i was reading about it and it was so like it's bleak the way they talk to moms they're like to avoid mastitis after you finished cleaning a nappy make sure you wash all the poo off your hands before you touch your nips i'm like what like who is getting shit nips someone's rubbing shit on their nips i don't know what's going wrong but my kids got sort of a bit of a rationalism out of rubbing shit all over everything stinks of shit it's really weird it's awful but um no i never had any of problems. I did have like a clogged milk duct once,

which they say you mustn't dig out with a pin. So I dug it out. Of course you dug it out with a pin. You dug it out with a pin? What, like a safety pin? Yep. Wow. It was a safety pin.

It wasn't a danger pin. You know, the other ones you could buy. They really died out. They got launched at the same time, the safety pin and the danger pin. And it just didn't really hit with the public, the danger pin. And it just didn't really hit with the public. This might be a good time to mention that on Backstage with Catherine Ryan, all episodes available on Prime Video. My son was only a couple of weeks old and I had huge

tits. I was breastfeeding like the village. So how did that work? So you're filming Backstage with Catherine Ryan, all of her episodes available on Amazon Prime now. Yeah. And for people that don't know, it's a stand-up show, but also it's filmed backstage. Mm-hmm. So you get to see all the comedians kind of interacting backstage. And so were you...

Oh, Rob, your daughter's here. I know, my daughter's turned up. Do you want to say hi? Say hello. You've got to say hello. Hello. All right, I've got to finish doing this one. Do you want anything say wave. Say hello. You got to say hello. Hello. Right. I've got to finish doing this.

Do you want anything? She's so lovely. She's beautiful. In a minute. Okay. You can go in a minute. Just come and speak to mommy and I can take you in a minute. She's saying, why did you lock mommy out in the garden?

Why is mommy crying again? She's so cute, Rob. She's lovely. I never get to see her. I don't see your children enough. I know. It's bad, isn't it? We're too busy. We work too much. Sorry. Back to your new show, Backstage with Catherine Ryan. Yes. So how did you, how did you balance those filming days with a two week old baby? How was that? He was, he was actually maybe seven weeks old. I am exaggerating,

but I just ferried breast milk back and forth in a courier. I was pumping backstage. They didn't show any of it. I was like, you can show it if you want so he was back home with bobby he was back home with bobby and you were just sending milk to him yeah so bobby you know bobby does long days sometimes those were long days filming but then he gets to sleep at night that's our arrangement but um and that was when bobby was peak afraid of fred as well so those were tough days but it was worth it how did you feel like because obviously the premise of the show which is really interesting and it's great to watch is that all the comedians are filmed backstage the whole time it's not like you just have to get ready get you like your makeup on and you go out and you do your stand-up you're being filmed non-stop and there's a pressure for

you to talk to all the guests because you're the host backstage and i you know for example lou i don't think after seven weeks of giving birth would want a camera crew filming her for 12 hours a day for two weeks. So how, how did that not just send you crazy about the pressure of being filmed and what you was looking like? Cause everyone, all women feel quite vulnerable after they've given birth, their bodies completely changed. I know. I mean, I didn't mind at the time. I think you get also this burst of energy after you give birth. So I went back to work. The first thing I filmed for a different streaming service, Fred was eight days old, and I had all this energy straight away.

And then I think I get tired when it's all done. And I can hear it. Oh, hang on. Sorry, my daughter is ringing me. I'll take it. No, she's like... It's the only podcast you can do where you take a call from your daughter and it makes it better.

All right, I will do that. You don't have to put her on, but it's just real life. You're trying to work from home with kids. No, I'm putting her on, sure. I didn't know you were working. What are you doing, sis? We're just in my room, I'm speaking. And can we go out, please?

But you know that your friend's being picked up for her show shortly. How shortly? In an hour and a half. Yeah, we won't be that long listen if you let down the entire west end of london by this girl missing her show you know you can't do that that's showbiz i know mom i'm not gonna let down the entire west end she's not gonna touch out all right well listen you guys literally have one hour and make sure that it's okay with her mom that her mom's not coming a little bit early because you know i have a responsibility to the theater okay cool i'll

see you in text her mom all right i love you i love you bye you see this unbelievable she's she's just go out in the street on her own oh my god i'm panicking about mine yeah they go out they take a bath do you know what i know she't be, but it surprised me she's not Canadian. Do you know what I mean? When you hear the voice, you're expecting a Canadian accent. I think she has a little twang now, but that is sadly from being on TikTok so often, not from me. Okay, fair enough.

How is it having a 13-year-old? I love it. And they take the bus, and we have everyone in the family and find my friends so you can see where she is physically on a map yeah and it's not far it's great i mean violet has always been just like a friend of mine even when she was three she was so self-sufficient and really mature and so i mean i don't worry about her at all and she's not a dick crucially yeah that's a big way that's a big victory isn't it when they're not a dick although can i say planning her birthday party if you have any listeners who have older children they will hopefully understand what i'm talking about

i was livid i'm ringing up all these venues i don't have parties of my own i don't do much but i put genuinely a wedding budget into all of Violet's birthday parties. These are like grand catered affairs. I have an event planner. I have a decorator. I have a DJ. It's always like a thing. So I had no problem ever planning Violet's parties until this year. I'm ringing around and all these venues are like, yes, we have availability.

Oh, it's for a 13 year old. No, we won't do the party. No. What? Because it's too likely to go off. Yes. No. Really? What? Because it's too likely to go off? Yes. No. And the reason that infuriates me is that it creates a situation where teenagers aren't allowed to exist in their own communities. They're not welcome anywhere. They can't go into a sweet shop without being followed. One at a time, isn't it? One at a time or two at a time.

Yeah. And you can't even have a birthday party for them and i i was pushing these people to be like what is the reason they're like oh you know they always trash the place we just we do not have a teen year olds this is it they said any teenage parties we will not have them and i said these are young scholars they go to a private girls school down the road i was like they have ponies they play the violin like what the fuck do you think is going to happen? And you just wait. You just wait. Really?

Because this party is Saturday night. And I found a venue who will accept Violet's party. Probably, I will be honest, because of who I am. And I cannot wait. Where is it? Where about? You don't have to say the actual location. What kind of place is it?

Is it like a sort of a hall? Or is it like a about, you don't have to say the actual location. What kind of place is it? Is it like a sort of a hall or is it like a restaurant or a bar or what? It's like a North London venue space that aren't usually anything other than, you know, a purpose built venue space. And they have a light up dance floor. And I think they do a lot of bar mitzvahs. This is the other thing. You can have a bat mitzvah or a bar mitzvah, which is essentially a Jewish 13th birthday party.

Yeah. But you can't haveish 13th birthday party yeah yeah but you can't have a 13th birthday party so you go oh you can celebrate as long as the four scenes getting snipped that's not what happens at a bat mitzvah isn't it i thought that's what bar mitzvah was you celebrate that happening well i've been doing it all wrong that happens earlier rob doesn't it does it can you imagine on the day of your 13th birthday you buy all your friends i thought that was it because it's like becoming a man like becoming a man or a grown-up isn't Does it? Can you imagine on the day of your 13th birthday you buy all your friends some snacks? I thought that was it because it's like becoming a man,

like becoming a man or a grown-up, isn't it? At the 13th, isn't that what it is? No, they circumcise a boy at his bris when he's like eight days old. Right, okay. Oh, it's a coming-of-age ritual. God, Rob. Rob was going, why are all these kids looking forward to their bar mitzvahs? It's going to be absolutely awful.

It's going to be carnage. Just imagine you get your foreskin snipped on in front of everyone else in year eight. I've got to ask, Rob. Did you think that you had to do it? They were doing it in front of everyone? No, no. I felt like that happened earlier in the morning at the doctor's. And then they had a party afterwards to sort of be like, look, mate, he's off now.

But they do that when they're younger. I'd love it if you'd gone to a bar mitzvah not knowing and gone when's this coming on come on where is he where's his sad eyes come on poor sod he's just puked up now he've chopped his dick but they do that when they're younger fair enough now i know that was another issue actually with fred because um whether you're jewish or not all the boys in canada when i was growing up were circumcised. It's a very North American thing. And for Bobby to move to this country and understand that I did not want to circumcise our infant son, he was floored by that. He was like, what?

Yeah, because he'd never even thought of an alternative. He said he'll be bullied in the showers. I said, what? By who? All the other foreskin guys. What's the advantage of losing it? What the kind is there a reason is it a cleanliness thing why it was surely like if you like pretend my dick's garden furniture you put it out in all weathers it's gonna get dirty if you put a cover over it it's gonna stay clean so why remove the natural garden furniture cover for your car i don't know rob we

put we put a cover on our uh garden table it's coming snails now the cats are pissed all over it like i'm not saying it's a direct analogy but you know well i think where it comes from like the ancient origin of it is i think there was sand and it was really hot and it made sense then. I don't know. Yeah, but when I'm hot, the foreskin ain't the problem. I'm not like, oh, I'm sweating buckets here. If I knew I could love this.

Oh God, it's like dripping off my nose. It's the foreskin. Yeah, I've still got foreskin. You look all right. You've been circumcised. Then if it's sandy, you don't want the end of it out, do you? The last thing you need. I'd be gagging for a foreskin if it was sandy

and I wouldn't let the sand storm. Gagging for a foreskin. I don't know. So you're going to keep his then, or is Bobby not bothered now, but he just assumed that you were going to get it taken off? Yeah, he's not bothered now, but he did assume because that's all he's ever known. I mean, it's interesting what culture teaches us

with the potty training, with the foreskin. You know, you just do what everyone does. And so with a 13-year-old, are you finding you're having to put in, like, obviously the restaurants are worried about her behaviour, but are you finding she's kicking back against you and she's going, she started going out on the, not on the lash, but like, you know, rebelling.

Not at all. I mean, the only thing I can say about Violet is that she, she's very charming. She dodges her chores. She doesn't really have to do anything. If we didn't feed her animals, they would be dead. But her behavior and her demeanor is like kind and respectful and lovely and she's just the thing is katherine that's what you are as well like you have a sort of

outward persona of like being a bit harsh and giving people shit in your stand-up but you are an incredibly kind thoughtful person and i think everyone would agree with that on the circuit i think that's why you got so many people to agree to your show and be filmed backstage because they trust you where there'll be a lot of other comedians that you go no i'm not doing that for them kind of thing so i think that's your personality and obviously violence too but i do think kids rebel against like if you're really strict or really square and really straight and quite stiff-necked with your kid they will rebel but really don't panic josh don't panic yet i'd say i'm to be fair i'm one of the least strict people who's ever lived,

to be honest. But I think, Catherine, if Violet did say something that was a bit rude or a bit edgy, you sort of laugh along with her, and then no one really wants to be laughing along with their parent. You want to be saying something that their parent kicks back against if you're rebelling, surely. We love when she's rude and edgy.

If she's funny, no matter how rude it is, then we laugh and laugh. I can't even remember what she said. I wish I could remember some of the stuff that she said. She always makes me laugh and she's rude to us, but like in a joking way. And she knows that that's the loud. Yeah, exactly. My youngest, she watched a TikTok with me where it was like, um, I wonder G with the big boys, that TikTok. And she just says big boy all the time. She's like, come on, big boy. It it's actually like it's quite humiliating at points for she's to me it's funny so we just laugh along it's not like don't you dare talk to me like that have some respect for your it's like no you she's being funny and take the piss but it doesn't matter that she's four and you're the dad just

accept that it's quite funny but did you read that pete doherty interview there was an interview with him yesterday in the guardian and his dad was like sergeant major in the army and you were just like oh I see what's happened here he's he's lived a very tight life and then he's gone completely in the opposite way and that's what I'm telling myself because I do not put down any boundaries me neither that's what I'm telling myself what I love about you Josh you can see the panic in your eyes of like one comment you're sort of worrying about it now already of like, oh, God, what if my daughter's a naughty teenager? It's all over. He got very good A-levels. He didn't even start rebelling till after that.

He got straight A's at A-level. Can you believe that? So what you're implying is there's always time to panic. There's always time to panic, Rob. You should never stop worrying. Everything can go wrong at any point. Remember that. You're never comfortable

Catherine obviously you've had Fred um shows and on tour with you because you did your big tour and it's you seem to cope with it really well but wasn't there a nightmare journey to Scotland on the train how was that well did you regret taking the train to Scotland that is a beast of a journey in it yeah I usually love this train to Scotland I did you regret taking the train to Scotland? That is a beast of a journey, isn't it? Yeah. I usually love this train to Scotland. I always prefer to take the train than fly. I think it usually works out for the best, but no, I think I was overambitious with Fred because I traveled around loads with Violet when she was young, but I was also young and she just, if she had me, she was, she was fine. But Fred's a little bit more precious. You know, he was like, uh, you know, my mom is a a middle class white lady and my parents are older and I want to be in my own bed.

And he just he doesn't like the travel and he doesn't like hotels and unfamiliar environments. So touring with him was a bit tough. And the train home from Glasgow on a Sunday took like seven and a half hours. Oh, my God. And you would think a train is fine for Violet. You could pick her up, carry around. I had her toys out, had her books. For Fred, he just wouldn't sleep on the train,

wanted off that train. You know, trains, there are announcements every five seconds, the doors open loud. And there was nowhere to escape. And we were those parents who were holding a screaming infant. It was three months then and he just cried for half of it i would say on and off three month old did you keep your cool in that

situation yeah because you don't have a choice really and he would stop you know we would do i think everyone could see that we were doing literal gymnastics like everything we could do to stop him crying and he would stop and start again and stop and start again. There was just no respite. But again, luckily I had my husband, like you don't need a husband necessarily, but if you can have, you know, two people working on a crazy baby instead of one,

I mean, it was incredible to be able to hand him off and go into a carriage where I wasn't anyone's enemy. And so did you take him for the whole tour? Pretty much. So what I've learned to do with touring and I did this with Violet too, is if I can get back at night, then I do. So I was coming back from Swansea and where like, I'd come back from Leeds. I'd come back from Cardiff. Where was a really far one? Like, I forget Yeovil or something. If I can drive back at night, I do. And then if there are a few gigs together in the North, we'll stay in the hotel. We'll find somewhere in the middle and satellite out. And that's all right. Um, we took him to Ireland

and my dad hijacked that trip and demanded that he be christened, which is fine. You know, it matters a lot to my family and it was a lovely brunch. So I said, all right, he could be christened in Cork. The family stay in cork but that means i had to drive five hours out to belfast do my show five hours back that night three hours out to dublin do my show three hours back yeah he's been christened you weren't that bothered but you just wanted him your dad wanted him yeah i don't mind i mean i'm not the priest stands there and he goes he says all the things like do you promise to raise your children in a Catholic church? You're like, I do.

He goes, do you reject Satan and all his trickery? I'm like, oh, okay. Rob beefs out there going, when are they cutting off this foreskin? This foreskin has been taking its time, hasn't it? I always thought, where do they go? If there's a big sort of burial pit for foreskins or they're just all thrown away separately. I just think of a foreskin in a bin.

It's quite a sad image, isn't it, Rob? It's a little bit. My mind goes straight to how could I use that in like making my face tighter? Where could I get a sweet, sweet... Just use it to like just pin it up there, just two little foreskins. Baby stem cells in my neck?

Yes, please. Did you do anything with placenta and stuff like that? Yeah, it all kicked off with the placenta company, actually, because I had Fred. I don't know, I just feel like you're like, I have problems with like DPD delivering some Lego. And you're like, I've got the placenta guys, the light up dance floor company won't have the party.

What happened with the placenta crew? I had a placenta crew and I had also a cord blood banking crew. So they do this other thing now where they can take the cord blood and they store it for ever and ever. And then it might help your child in the future to get stem cells, like cure diseases and stuff. Yeah. It's really cool. So I had these separate companies and I wanted the placenta freeze dried and made into tablets that I could take, but everything was scheduled because I was a geriatric pregnancy, which is a hurtful term. Is that an actual term for you all? Or did you just say that?

No, over 35 year classified a geriatric pregnancy. Oh, that's degrading. You don't need that. That's not good for morale, is it? No, over 35 a year classified a geriatric pregnancy. Oh, that's degrading. You don't need that. That's not good for morale, is it? No, it's bad for morale. That's terrible. Like, with all that's going on when you're pregnant, you don't need that.

Because you'll be on a bit of paper as well. Like, it'll surprise you in an email, won't it? Oh, I'm that, am I? Geriatric. It's official. It's on all the paper, yeah. It's official. Yeah.

I wanted to have the baby at home, and they said you can't do that because you're a geriatric pregnancy. You have to have it in the hospital. Fuck off. Yeah. I wanted to have the baby at home and they said, you can't do that because you're a geriatric pregnancy. You have to have it in the hospital. Fuck off. I know I am. I'm over 35. Just say that.

So then I went to the finest hospital that I could. I went where Princess Diana had her babies and Kate Middleton had her babies. Because I know I panicked. Why not? Thank you. But then I met the consultant there and he was really nice. And he said, we can't even take any chances on when the baby will be born plus he was about to go on holiday so he said you have to

have the baby on this specific day you come into the hospital i give you drugs to start your labor that's when you had the baby so i thought great so i had the placenta guy ready for that day i had the cord guy ready for that day a man waiting in just like two geezers waiting next to Bobby in the waiting room? Well, they should, but I didn't have the baby on that day. I had the baby so quickly the day before,

almost at home. And so Bobby sped through Sunday London traffic to like try to get me to this hospital, which is miles away. Like it's not near our house. It's just the fancy hospital.

So we got there. No one was there. No placenta guy, no doctor, no anesthetist. I had no drugs. Yeah, i was there for nine discount no bastards and they're supposed to bring you champagne and afternoon tea but they didn't bring me that because it was a sunday and they were like nobody has a baby on a sunday why are you here i got no drugs and i wanted drugs because i had no i almost had violet in a car too so i should have known so i had no drugs no refund no doctor was

there the placenta guy was nowhere to be found so bobby's trying to ring all these people um and they they got there late and i was like my placenta has been in this mini fridge for blah, blah, blah, blah. I was I was kicking off. In this mini fridge? Yeah. Just like the little mini fridge that they. Yeah. Like a drinks fridge.

Yeah. Just wrapped it up and put it in there like sort of something from the butcher. Right. That's exactly what it was. The midwife was really nice, actually. She's like, I'll wrap up this placenta for you and hopefully your placenta guy can get here before it goes off. Yeah. Well, it just shows that, doesn doesn't it you can prepare and plan everything you can have like extra disposable income to spend on going private but it doesn't automatically mean that it will be less stressful and less hard work it's just it is what it is isn't it that is it

it's that's what it taught me and like is another lesson in oh you're not in charge of anything actually so calm down you could be sitting there going well if i if i just if i had that an extra bit of money i could go there and do that and it'll all be lovely and fine and brilliant but it's not really it is what it is you just have to hope for the best and surrender to it really how long was you in there for nine minutes what yeah nine you got in there and then within nine minutes the baby was out bloody hell and then you went did you go straight home well i wanted to go straight home because i turn you know i say all these things about how i'm like chill but i was like that's it we're out of here and poppy was like well the netherlands are playing football so let's just stay in the room and watch this and then he's like you can just stay it's safer for

the baby they'll check the baby in the morning we already paid for the room and even the midwife was like come on you already paid for the room oh he had a baby you had a baby at the start of the euros fucking hell bobby's life's good so he could just hold a baby and watch all the euros no rob it's not good that's what i had mate well i was about to say you don't sleep during the euros but bobby did bobby did um oh wow that was a brutal brutal nine minutes it was but good. I mean, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's great to have a baby at nine minutes because loads of other things can happen where it takes you nine days to have a baby. So I just regret being in such deep denial when I was in labor because it only took three

hours start to finish my first construction to like when he was born. And I, uh, I'm very, so like, I've learned that hyper-independence is like a trauma reaction from people letting you down in your life. And I definitely have that. And so I locked myself in my room and I was meant to take my daughter to muck out the pony. And I was like, Bobby was like, I think you're having the baby. And I was like, no, no, everyone leave me alone. Go take Violet to muck out the pony. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I like chased everyone out of the house. I was like, just leave me here. And everyone does what I say. So they left. And then when they came back, uh, it was trouble. And I was like, I'm not leaving. And Bobby's like, you need to leave.

We need. And I was like, I'm not leaving this house. And Bobby, like, I know he like dragged me to the car and then like ran red lights and everything. And he got there nine minutes. Lou's like that. So Lou had pancreatitis, right? And that is severe stomach pains. And she didn't know it was pancreatitis. She was like, oh, no, I'll be all right. Just a bit of a sore belly.

I was like, no, Lou, you're like, and then she was fine. And then I was, I went, look, no, do you need to just rest? Anyway, I went into another room. Come back. She was gone. She took the kids to fucking trampoline world or whatever it was. She went trampolining. Come back. Yeah, you're still really hurt. And I went, Lou, you're back. She was gone. She took the kids to fucking trampoline world or whatever it was. She went trampolining. Come back, went, yeah, you're still really hurt.

And I went, look, you're going to have to go to hospital. You're like doubling over in pain. She went trampolining with pancreatitis. Oh my God. It's an absolute joke. But I think you're quite similar like that. You're so like super independent and get on with things and it'll be fine. Just do it.

Just do it. But sometimes you've got to listen to your body a bit and rest and, you know, have a baby. You know, ironically, you could have had the baby in the interval of one of your shows, but that really sums you up. I know. That would have been tight. Series two of Backstage with Catherine Ryan,

you actually deliver the baby and then go out on stage and do a routine about it. I would do it. I'm a stunt queen. I would love it if that gets viewers. But so it's all on Amazon Prime, is that right? Backstage with Catherine Ryan? Yes, worldwide. There are a lot of people who don't

think they can find it in New Zealand and Australia and America and Canada. Yes, you can. So you get to see the comedians do their show, but also what they're chatting about backstage. Jimmy Carr's on it, I'm on it, Tom Allen, Sean Walsh, Nish Kumar. It's great. Judy Love, I think Judy Love's on it as well Kumar. It's great. Like Judy Love.

I think Judy Love's on it as well, isn't she? Oh, Judy Love's so good on it. Jeff Norcott. Jeff Norcott is brilliant on it too. Jeff Norcott's on it as well. Yeah, it's a great show. So make sure you watch it. Thank you very much, Catherine.

Thank you, Catherine. It's been an absolute pleasure. Do we do the final question now? It's a bit easier to do for you, which is what's the one thing, we didn't have this question when you first did it, what's the one thing that Bobby does that annoys you about parenting that we normally say you haven't brought up yet, but I imagine you have, but what's the one that does your editing about the way Bobby parents? I haven't really brought it up with him.

He, uh, thinks that he has a program and if Fred doesn't sleep in the night, in the, um, daytime, like if he doesn't have his usual nap or he doesn't want to eat his lunch, I'll be accuses everyone else of deviating from his program. And he goes, well, Fred sleeps for me because my program is my program. And I, he always says my program, like he's some type of coach. And I go, you don't have a fucking program. I said, everyone does your program. It's just some days a baby's going to nap for 40 minutes 40 minutes not an hour and some days a baby doesn't want to eat his lunch and bobby will say well no because on my program and i'm like who the fuck do you think you are with this program like he'll go he'll go golfing and he'll come back and and like the babysitter that he has like won't

have done the right thing and he'll be like oh just, her problem is she doesn't stick to my program. Do you think he's going to, there's a big thing called project Mbappe in, in the UK where a lot of dads are into football, want to train their son to be as good as Mbappe. Mbappe is one of the best footballers in the world. He's really young. And he got trained up as a kid,

be like Tiger Woods and his dad. Do you think Bobby's got that in mind for Fred and what sport do you think he's going to try and sort of get him into? Do you think he's going to train him up to be an athlete? He definitely will train him up to be an athlete. He's already got this sports center. He's got a stuff using these words like program and sports center. It's a play pen.

I'm like, he calls it a sports center where he trains. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a basketball hoop on one side of it and he's filled it with balls. And he says that Fred has to do training in his sports center. I'm like, that is a play pen. And Fred is 11 months old, but, um, yeah, I, Bobby played American football and I think he's quite, you know, worried about injuries and stuff.

So he's already said he doesn't want Fredred playing american football or rugby he's okay with like football football but i think golf is the one he already takes him to the golf course he's got a putter yeah and golf's the one if you can like obviously with football and basketball you sort of need a certain level of natural ability and you do with golf but golf's a lot more to do with practice where in basketball you could practice as much as you want but if you're not six foot ten yeah he's struggling um but yeah so golf oh i can imagine you now if he if he becomes a golfer you as his mom following him around like the judy murray just the outfits by the whole were you in this like massive dress and hair oh my god i'd be judy murray but like Judy Garland. Yeah. It'll be amazing.

I'll look forward to seeing that. Catherine, thank you so much for coming back on. Thank you, Catherine. Thank you, guys. Absolute pleasure. Amazon Prime. I mean, all of them on there now. Backstage with Catherine Ryan.

Thank you, guys. Catherine Ryan, there we go. She's so good. Amazing to have her back on. First ever guest, Rob. Yeah, return. Can you remember that? It feels like forever ago. What a different world it was. there we go she's so good amazing to have her back on first ever guest Rob yeah return can you remember that that feels like forever ago

what a different world it was you know I feel like we've changed so much back then we were just sort of two you know losers talking about their kids and now we're just

you know just there's more kids exactly yeah I've got another kid Catherine's got another kid you've bottled it that kind of stuff um

backstage with Catherine Ryan on Amazon go and listen to it listen to it watch it we'll do both bloody hell do you know what Rob

we can say this was recorded on the same day as Tuesday's episode and the tiredness has kicked in do you know what you need another one of your

special tablets no I do not Rob I do not do you know what I'm going to do after this I'm going to go for a run. Last night, I turned to Rose at 10pm.

I said, I've got so much energy, I might run around the block. And I was like, it's 10pm in East London on a Saturday night. I can't go running around the block. So what did you do? Went to bed and just lay there. Or was that just a bit of a come on to Rose? Rose, it's 10 o'clock and I've got a lot of energy. Rob, I am too anxious to perform. Really? just a bit of a come on to rose rose it's 10 o'clock and i've got a lot of energy rob i am

too anxious to perform really so if rose was really up for it you'd have had to say no it's too much for me well that situation's never come up right now um we'll be back on tuesday with more chat bit of fun isn't it oh see you on Tuesday bye