Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S04 EP6: Adam Hills

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

S04 EP6: Adam Hills Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, presenter of The Last Leg, and author - Adam Hills. Adam's fantastic new kids book 'Rock Star Detectives' is available now. And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce we are doing two HUGE live shows in early 2023 - Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April) and London 02 (Friday 21st April) and tickets go on pre-sale exclusively to Parenting Hell mailing list members at 10am on Wednesday 16th February at 10am. Sign up to the mailing list below to get a link on the morning of the 16th before they go on general release - they went quick last time so set an alarm!! parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavourful snack for those on the go, like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelised onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's, at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,

which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you are listening to Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Whittacombe. I did it this time.

It's a very special intro before our guest this week, Adam Hills, is on. And that's a great chat. Very interesting, isn't it, Josh? Yeah, sorry, I'm looking around just because I'm... What's that, mate? Well, just before I started, we were just recording the interview with Adam Hills before we recorded this at 9am. Stop ruining the illusion.

What are you doing? Stop opening up. It's not live. I sat down on my computer for something else completely at 9am, right? And a roofer had come round to check a leak in the roof at five to nine. And I said, I'll leave you to it.

And just let me know what it is and come back. You know, he was just coming around to check it out. This feels like, you know, an old age pensioner that gets scammed and they're trying to explain it to their younger grandchildren. And you're in the front room, they're nine grand down and they're all tired and confused. It's an hour later and I've just looked out my window. He's just waved at me.

He's ripping bits off my roof, Rob. Why is he ripping bits off? He's supposed to be repairing it. Half the tiles have come off, Rob. He wasn't here to repair it. He was just here to check it out and he's just gone straight on in to do it. No, he can't.

He must be looking for the hole and he'll replace them and fix it properly. Why don't you lift up the window and ask? Pull it up and ask him. How's it going, mate? What do you reckon? How's the roof looking obviously you can't really see anything so i started stripping some slates out none of the top slates are even fixed right and when i started moving about there's like the slates underneath

were all broken oh god it's all damp under here. Oh no. So, yeah, just kind of getting in in various places. So is it a big job? No, no, no. I've just been aboard with like 20 odd slates. I'm going to change a few slates and get that pointed and I think it'll be good. Brilliant. Thank you. No worries. Is that good podcasting? Yes! Is that good podcasting? Yeah, that was fun.

That was just so fun. It was just a really, like, literally a window into your life. Oh, God. Oh, no. Is it a big deal? It was it, man, panicking, going from zero to ten within about two... Seems like a nice Oh, God. Oh, no. Is it a big deal? It was it, shit. A man panicking going from zero to ten within about two... Seems like a nice guy, though. Yeah, he's good, isn't he?

Do you know how I got him? He's the roofer for my daughter's nursery. Oh, really? I went in yesterday morning because we... They've got an assigned roofer. Well, I said, do you know what? I need an emergency roofer. And they said, oh, roofer's here today.

I couldn't believe it. No way. They said, here's his number. So they were like, he's going to come in later. And then I phoned him up. And I stood in the street. And he said, wait a minute. Do I recognise your voice?

Are you Josh Willicam? Yeah. Then he said, I can see you. Look up. And I looked up and there was a man on a roof waving at me. This is like the start of the Tinder swindler. He seems like a nice guy. If you've got a good recommendation, I'm sure he's fine.

Good to get that bit of roofing sorted. Yeah, exactly. Right. Sorry. So this episode was supposed to be, this is supposed to be a special intro. Yes. Well, exactly. Right. Sorry. So this episode was supposed to be this is supposed to be a special intro. Yes.

Well, it was in a way. It's never happened before. This is hot. This can't be on the radio. Radio. Right. Basically, big announcement.

Big announcement. Huge announcement. Huge announcement. Is this good promo or bad promo? I think no one's stopped listening at this point. This is the best

four minutes we've ever put out. Okay, guys, the big announcement is we are doing more live shows. Two more live shows are being announced. Two more, yeah. Two more. But they are in big venues. Yes. Up north, we're doing Manchester, and down south, we're doing London.

I've got the press release. Okay, do you want to read that out? Yes. All of it? Over 50 million downloads. Oh, is that the right podcast? Is that Joe Rogan's? Yeah.

Known anti-vaxxer. Look, man, we just get opinions on parenting, yeah? No. Oh, sorry. So, on Friday the 14th of April, 2023. so on friday the 14th of april 2023 next year friday the 14th of april not this year next year before we give a shit we can only get it next year because everywhere's booked up because people have been rescheduling tours it was as soon as we could do yeah as soon as we could do friday the 14th of april next year we are playing manchester arena formerly the men arena when I used to live in Manchester,

the Manchester Arena. So it's 14th of April, Manchester Arena. And what's the next one? The 21st of April, the following Friday, when we're doing London, the O2. Oh, the O2. The big room? The big room.

The big room. The big room. You're local. It's 16 minutes from my house, Rob. This is exciting, isn't it? The local. We should have a big party. We should we should have a little after party imagine the babysitting cost in the country so we've due to uh demand for the hackney tickets we've gone for bigger venues yeah it's the only way we could make sure everyone gets a ticket because it was a bit ridiculous

the demand for it so yeah yeah if you came to the live shows at Hackney and those little rooms, it'll be like that, but with obviously massive production because we're going to be in big arenas. Yeah, we're also doing six costume changes. Shall I? We can't wait to do it. We're so excited.

We're so excited that we're doing these. And so tickets go on sale the 18th of february that's next friday 10 a.m 18th of february however however there is a way to get in early be the first to buy tickets their pre-sale for listeners of the podcast is on the 16th of february next wednesday and all you need to do to to get a link to the pre-sale is join the Parenting Hell mailing list. If you want to join, if you're already a member,

that's fine. If you want to join, it is in the description of this podcast. It's in our description on Instagram. So any of our podcasts will have the mailing list description. You know, on your phone, just go down, it's there.

Click on that, shove in your email, and then you'll be sent a link that comes alive at 10 a.m on wednesday and you can get tickets before anyone else that is manchesterina 14th of april and the o2 the 21st of april next year it is genuinely how do you feel i feel i felt quite nervous saying that then my hands are you are nervous you're cupping your hands you've got a roof that needs paying you need this to go well um but no i can't wait How do you feel? I felt quite nervous saying that. My hands are going. Yeah, you are nervous. You're clapping your hands. I'm really excited. You've got a roof that needs paying. You need this to go well.

But no, I can't wait. The live shows were so much fun. And what I enjoyed about it was, podcasting, weird, because it's quite an intimate thing, but like all the references and the silly jokes, it was really,

I felt like the whole room was sort of coming together. And also all the stuff that we have to edit out of this because it's a bit fruity or we talk about other famous people that we can't really put, you know, may exist on audio in,

in podcast world. However, if you say it live and it's not because we're not, none of these live shows are going to be recorded and put out. No. So it's all very special and on the night. So we're excited about it because we're going to, we'll be able to say whatever we want very exciting can i do a thing where i can sort of put a block you know you can block instagram stories i want to put a block on certain people

in my life from being able to buy tickets to the live show so i can absolutely slag them i think lou's gotta be allowed to come on she don't know it's happening don't tell her anyway um hopefully you get some tickets yeah we'd love to see you there they go on sale next I think Lou's got to be allowed to come, Rob. She don't know it's happening. Don't tell her. Anyway, hopefully you get some tickets. Yeah, we'd love to see you there. They go on sale next week. But if you sign up to the mailing list in the description of the podcast and on Instagram, that's the quickest and easiest way for you to have access to them before they go on general sale on Friday the 18th.

I'm also going on Graham Norton, Josh, next week. I'll be talking about it. That'll be on Friday night. I'll be talking about it. Who are you going to be talking to about it? I think Dawn French is on it. Oh, yeah.

Johannes from Strictly, Andrew Garfield, Natalie Imbruglia, and Channing Tatum on Zoom. So I said that to Lou. I went, and Channing Tatum, she went, what? I'm coming.

And I went, I bet you are, but you're not. He's on Zoom. So I'll be on there talking about that. Anyway, this is Adam Hills and I can't wait for the tickets to go on sale

I'm excited I feel like I've sent out birthday invitations when I'm a kid oh god right this is Adam Hills see you in a bit

bye Adam Hills MBE hello oh I forgot yes Josh Winnie Co

MBE yeah so Adam we're very excited. I've been desperate, actually, to have you on this, but it's very hard to track you down because you're a very busy man. So when you're in the UK, you're nonstop with the last leg. And then when you're in Australia, it's a nightmare with the time zones.

So, Adam, could you tell us your kids' set-up? My kids' set-up. How many children have you got? We're rubbish at this, Josh. I love the idea. We've got a bedroom down there. We've got another bedroom. I have two daughters.

They are 11 and 8. 11 and 8. And then you're currently in the UK for the Last Leg recordings and they're back in Australia. So you split your time between England and Australia, but that's not been the case the whole time. Yeah, so up until about 2019, they were here. For a little while, they did six months here, six months there.

And then 2017, they moved here. And then the end of 2019, my girls were getting homesick. My wife was getting some work back in Australia. And so we went, well, okay, how about you guys go back to Australia? I can do the last leg 10 weeks at a time, and then I'll go home for a couple of months, and then I'll come back here for 10 weeks. Because at the end of 2019, we lived in a world

where you could fly easily between countries. Yeah, that's not the greatest South, is it, pandemic-wise? At the time, we said, well, let's see how it goes for a year, and at the end of the year, we'll kind of decide whether it it's working and we kind of got to the end of 2020 and went well this is like a year like no other yeah that doesn't count that one doesn't count so how long how long will you be over for what will you not see them for on this stint then this particular trip is nine weeks which is not too bad yeah that's tough the previous stint was seven months and i didn't realize yeah that's the longest i've ever been away from them and bloody hell really full on yeah how do you how do you like do your days then like how do you because obviously

i'm more interested in how adam's wife does the days actually i can imagine how adam does the days no no no. Let's talk about me because I'm the one that really suffered through all this. You never tired, Adam. You never tired. I mean, my wife has been amazing. What made it better and worse in those seven months is that Melbourne went into quite a full-on lockdown.

But what made it better was that we just at the beginning of lockdown had bought like a holiday shack um about an hour and a half outside of melbourne australian thing to call it is that like a beach hut yeah i guess it's like a beat i don't know what's a beach hut oh you know in the front in my gate it's basically it's not like a beach it's big it's bigger than a beach it's not a shed yeah it was like a two-bedroom house, but it was down by a beachside suburb. And so my wife moved down there with the girls for two months and kind of used that time to renovate.

But because they were by the beach, they could go for a walk on the beach. They could take the dog for a walk and stuff like that, or the dog for a walk. So it kind of worked out to a degree. But, yeah, I think my wife was a trooper to just do all the homeschooling, do all of that. And renovate the house.

She's unbelievable, and she renovated. That was not a chore. She loves doing stuff like that. She was like, right, I've got this. No, she was all over that. I suppose you can't really have an opinion as well on renovation at that stage. You're like in London going, oh, actually,

I was thinking of a different shade. Could you redo? There was one moment where my daughters were taking me around on FaceTime showing me, you know, how the house looked and they were going, and here's this bit and here's this bit. And this whole wall here, this is just full of mummy special things. And I went, okay, is there a wall for daddy special things no and i went okay is there a war for daddy's special thing but a space for a suitcase one of them little things you know they put in hotels

because if i say i've got even if i'm like away you know say it's a friday i'm doing a last leg and bedtime's going badly i'll get a text from rose going this is a nightmare right or whatever yeah but you're away in the uk are you still getting text updates of like i'm having a fucking nightmare today you know all that kind of stuff i'm going through my phone now because i got one last week that i'm going to read to you word for word the text from my wife. I have a TV pitch for you. Bluey, but the girls are a bit older, pre-teens. They no longer like playing together.

Bandit is away, chilly as premenstrual, and every episode is just either everyone in the car singing the Encanto soundtrack, or each in separate rooms watching craft videos and TikTok on their iPads. And seen. Very creative moan, that one. I like that.

Yeah, and I can't, you know, I can't complain. Like I had a day yesterday where I left home at 7.15 in the morning. I went and did an interview for Australian television. I got on a train to leeds uh i did some filming in leeds for the channel 4 rugby league coverage i went to the press launch in leeds hopped on another train came back to london went straight to the comedy store hosted a charity gig got home at 11 at night i can't complain about that no yeah and you are tired that is tiring that is a tiring day. Officially, I'm going to let you have that. That's a tiring day, Adam, but no one else will let you have it at home.

I'd tell my wife that and she's like, really, you're living the dream is what you're saying. I suppose you couldn't have done it when they were really little, though. Now, 11 and 8 is a bit different because they're doing their own thing a little bit more. But that newborn stage would have been hard to leave them for seven months. No, I couldn't have gone that long. But I mean, even even I don't know travel's kind of been a part of our lives really from the from the very early days I mean when when my first daughter honestly when my first daughter was three and a half weeks old my wife had one of her best friends was over here in the we were in Australia one of my wife's best friends was over here and was very unwell. It was in the last stages of her life.

And my wife said, I really have to go and see her. And so she took Bebe, who was three and a half weeks old, on a flight with a friend of hers over here. So that was heartbreaking. That was so heartbreaking at three and a half weeks to have to put my wife and baby on a plane and not see them for 10 days. Yeah. I really had never felt pain like that.

It was the weirdest experience. It's hard as well, because I imagine, you know, especially with The Last Leg, because it was such a mega hit and it still is. And it's been like 22 series you've had now. So when you're building that and you're starting out, it does feel stressful to like you can't go no to a series and stuff to be with the kids. It's a real juggling balancing act, isn't it? So has that been difficult to work out how much you do and how much you don't do? Because, you know, you still got to work and provide for your family as well as see them, you know? Absolutely. And it's trying to describe it to the girls, because, as you know, when you're trying to describe, you know, stuff like that to kids, my daughters will be like, well, why do you?

Actually, to be fair, I've said to them, look, let's see how it goes and if you don't like it, you know, if this is all too much, maybe I'll stop doing the last leg. What? Sorry. Sorry. I hope that's an empty threat, Helsing. Well, here's the answer.

The name from Bebe, the 11-year-old. She said, no, I don't want you to stop doing the last leg. And I went, really? And she went, firstly, you love it. Secondly, you're really good at it. And thirdly, you and Josh and Alex are great together. Oh, there we go. There we go.

Sounds like your agent. Fourthly, I like buying things. So whenever I go away for a bit i get a bit guilty and then i you know i'm supposed to be going to australia for like a whole month and stuff to do my tour so when i go come back i always you know getting presents and things like that like does it does that just get out of hand after seven months or do you just put a lid on it because you can't you don't want to be that guy just turns up loads of toys but i always do do. I can't help it. Like coming back from an airport or something. Very early doors. When,

uh, baby was like two and a half. Um, I said, I had to go to Montreal for the comedy festival. And I did that thing of going, well, I was trying to work out what I could do that.

And cause she was like, don't go daddy. I don't want you to go. Oh God. But the show that I, the gala that I was doing over there was being hosted by the Muppets so i said what if i get a message for you from kermit oh wow and so i basically i got a message from kermit and then and it's really hard to top that as a gift yeah i bet unless this time you're like i can get your message from Richard A. Awadie. Is that all right? Yeah. Miriam Margulies is on Friday.

Well, that does. She can swear at you. Funny you say that, though. So for her seventh birthday, I was home for it, but I'd been away in the months leading up to it, doing The Last Leg. Yeah. And so I went, right, I'm going to get a whole bunch

of video messages, like birthday messages for her. One of them was Miriam Margulies because she's Professor Sprout. Oh, yes. So I ended up with Miriam Margulies because she's Professor Sprout. Oh, yes. So I ended up with Miriam Margulies, Sue Perkins because she loved Bake Off, and Daniel Radcliffe. I managed to get a message from Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, wow. That's good.

So, yeah, that's kind of, that's my thing. I'm going to have to hunt Bluey down when I'm in Australia. It's the only way I'm going to come back and be allowed back in the house. Do you know what, Rob? I can make that happen. No way, Addy. You can't. You know Bluey.

Well, I tell you who I do know, Aunt Trixie. Oh, yeah. I used to host a music quiz show in Australia, and one of the team captains, Miff Warhurst, is the voice of Aunt Trixie on Bluey. Really? Oh, my God. All roads lead to Bluey.

Imagine that, a little voice note. Jesus. We should form the Guilty Dads Club where just we're away and we can share voice notes for other dads or mums that are away with work so they can go home with voice notes. It's called Cameo, Rob.

Yeah. So we had a night recently, well, actually before COVID, where Miff came over for dinner and then sat with my daughters watching the episode of Bluey that she's in. Oh, wow. Amazing. And the girls just felt like they were cuddled up to Aunt Trixie

on the couch. They loved it. That's unbelievable. It's so good, Bluey. It is really good. Because you've been in Thunderbirds, haven't you? Would you be tempted to do Bluey? Oh, I'd love to do Bluey.

The funny thing, one of the funny things about Bluey is the guy that does the voice of Bandit, I think Dave McCormack is his name, he's the lead, or was the lead, is the lead singer in a band called Custard who are quite big in Australia. That's such an Australian band name, isn't it? Custard. Never heard of anywhere else in the world,

but Custard absolutely ripping it up. Twelve Nights at Sydney Opera House, Custard. I just Googled Custard and just Custard come up. never heard of anywhere else in the world but custard absolutely ripping it up 12 nights at sydney opera house custard i just googled custard and just custard come up i have to put band you have to put band in they're not bigger than they are not bigger than custard yet after the band yeah so the thing is if you listen to custard now yeah all you can hear is bandit singing and do you um because like if i away, obviously, and then I come back, and as well as the presence, you tend to overcompensate in other ways. Would you find that when you go back, you suddenly,

you can't help but fall into a kind of good cop trying to please kind of, that's what I'd do. I'd find it very difficult to then give discipline or anything like that because I'm like, I've only got this two months. I've got to really win. I've got to really, like, make these magical moments. I'm not coming in and laying down the law. No, that's a good point.

I found that. Okay, so when I went back last year, I'd been away for a couple of months. In the meantime, they had bought a dog. And, like, at least with the kids. I love the meantime they had bought a dog and that like at least with the kids i love the way they not we zero involvement in the decision but you can't you can't like if i'm away lou just does whatever she wants there's no way that i have an opinion on it if i'm not there no i think i think ali had kind of said, look, we're thinking of getting a dog. And I went, okay, you know I'm away for two months.

Yeah. Like just know that if you're doing this, you know that I can't help for the first couple of months. Yeah. But what it meant was when I got home. I'm thinking of calling it Adam as well. So at least with the kids, I've set up a history of some sort of discipline.

So I can go back when I go back home. I can go, no, no, no, you know that's not how we do things. With the dog, I got home after two months. It had already been conditioned to do things a certain way. And so when I was going, no, no, no, we don't sit on the couch, get off the couch, he'd look around and go, well, everyone else reckons it's okay. Who's this guy because i've got i've got a dog and basically like if you don't give it like the whoever gives

it the most love he'll just go to so if you're a bit they'll just be like yeah not you you don't give me food from the table the kids keep feeding it from the table so they do give you a wide berth if you're the stricter one i find well and we i find with kids it's um this is the worst thing but this is i this is also kind of lovely it's who they go to when they're in trouble when they're hurt yeah yeah and there's always that thing and i'm sure it's happened to you both where when they're little if they'd fall over and hurt themselves and you were the closest and you'd go to help they'd go no mommy still happening mate still happening yeah so I had a moment so my youngest is is she's got a real daddy bond and so when I went back this time I was only home for five weeks I had to quarantine for three days at home before yeah are you separated from your family in that situation well yeah we were trying to work out

what to do and there were a couple of neighbors uh in the next street who had gone away for the weekend and my wife went great we'll go and stay at their place so that you can have the house to yourself and at least quarantine at home for 72 hours um and after the first day maizey the eight year old said daddy i want to come quarantine with you. Oh. Because we couldn't hug up until that point. We'd see each other on the street and go, ah. Oh, my God.

I said, okay, you can come quarantine with me, but you won't be able to leave the house. We can't leave the house for two days. And she went, oh, no. Does that mean we'll have to eat takeaway and watch movies for two days? Oh, that's nice. If we can. So we kind of rebuilt that little bond.

Yeah. But there was a moment towards the end of the holiday where she was riding a scooter on the street and she fell and really grazed her knee badly. And I was the closest. So I ran and grabbed her and picked her up and I sort of got you. And then Ali came running out as well. And I was kind of holding her. And you could see Maisie do that thing where she went, oh, mummy's here, thank goodness.

And then she went, oh, no, daddy. And it was just one of those tiny, tiny, tiny little wins that you get as a parent. And not a win over my wife, not like a, ah, screw you. But screw you. Seven months out of the game, i still got it yeah don't mess with a big dog oh that's not when they can oh my my youngest is like that i always i my favorite thing is holding her hand on the walk to preschool because it's always cold and she's got lovely little warm hand

and then she knows i love that so she stopped doing it now and she her things i don't hold daddy's hand but then the other day she'd come over to me and gave me the biggest hug for no reason and probably you probably remember those little ones but they just do it to wind you up and they know if you want a hug or not well how old is she she's four so they yeah they're youngest yeah she's the youngest i've got six year old and a-old and a four-year-old. Right, okay. And they started, well, one of them started doing this thing where she was like, you don't care about me because you had another baby. The eldest is saying that.

And I was like, what? I know. What? I know, but it was brutal. I think she's doing it to wind me up. She plays mental games. It's like having Roy Keane in the house. She's too switched on for her own good of six.

How do you respond to that? What's your i said i said i make you right yeah no i didn't i know i said no we do care about though but i could see in her eyes she was sort of winding us up a little bit but i was saying no we do care about you and i said no we wanted we care about you so much we wanted to get you and give you a lovely sister for you to play with we had a for you absolutely so that you've got finger that's because we care about you so much and then she went yeah but sometimes you help Absolutely. So that you've got, that's because we care about you so much. And then she went, yeah, but sometimes you help her do that.

I went, yeah, that's because she's the youngest and needs more help and you're bigger and you know what you're doing, all that old drivel. And so you've written a children's book. Well, I should say early, what would you call it? Early teen? What are the age groups that you do? I think they call it middle grade. It's not like, it's's one of those i didn't sit down and aim a book at a specific age i guess i was writing it for my eldest so as when she was about eight um she had

said to me like quite concerned one of those kind of kitchen conversations where she just went daddy i don't know when i grow up if i want to be a rock star or a detective. As if it was like, oh, my God, what are we going to do about this? Yeah. This is you're not supposed to be having these dilemmas at the age. So I kind of went, well, I think you can be both. Why don't you be both? You can be, you know, a rock star that solves detective cases as you do it. And then kind of went, I think there's a book in that.

Yeah. And so she and I then came up with this idea of these two and I kind of ran the idea by her because I thought, okay, well, let's see if this is. She's in on the creative process there. She absolutely is, yeah. Is she getting a cut? Yeah.

Yeah, so I even sat down with her and my other daughter when the book was finally commissioned and I went, right, they're going to pay me for this, so how about, in this genuine conversation, I said, how about we split it three ways? I'll take a bit and then you can each have a bit, go into a bank account and you can have that for the future. Oh, amazing. And then Bebe, the eldest, said, let's split it four ways

and we'll give some of it to charity. Oh, my word. You need to sort her out. She's there now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all good now. All good now. Wait till you've got a fucking mortgage, mate.

Yeah. Fucking splitting that four ways. That'll soon stop when she gets to 21 and sees her bills coming in. I like the idea. Biggest regret of her life, that. She's on the phone to you. She's on the phone to you every day going,

can I keep a track on sales? Because I do need to take her out. Look, if we are going to split it four ways, we do need to you every day going, can I keep a track on sales? Because I do need to take a bath. Look, we are going to split it four ways. We do need to push this promo once, Dad. You are going to have to do Sunday brunch. I'm sorry. You're going to have to do Sunday brunch. Yeah, but I'll miss my flight home.

That's not the point, Dad, OK? Of course, another week. You know what? Now I've just realised something. She did see the book in the stores last week i bet it's quite excited by that and but then was calling me and was saying i saw it in the shop i saw it in the shop and i'm like right that's amazing and then she went so when someone buys it do you get money so i think you're right

but so we came up with an idea the story that we came up with i wanted it to be a couple of 12 year olds so it's two 12 year olds charlie and george on their first ever rock star tour yeah and i was thinking well how do they become like why two 12 year olds rock stars and they went you know what the way the internet i came up with this story where basically george george is in a wheelchair and so he sees things from a different level to everybody else. It's almost like one of his superpowers. He spots Charlie, the new girl, across the playground singing to herself and kind of gets an idea and films her in class singing and then together they upload it and then it goes viral

and then she becomes basically the new singing sensation. Oh, nice. Very hastily her mother's cousin steps in and decides to organise the tour for her and manage them. Oh, they'll never get family involved. Exactly. Always the biggest mistake with boxers, the dad or the brother does the finances. Before you know it, they're in the jungle eating a kangaroo's arse.

That's exactly, that was the whole reason behind getting him there. And there's always a family member who will step in at that point. Yeah, they're lining up. They're lining up to ruin your career. So they're doing their first ever tour, but every place they perform. So Charlie's doing the singing. George is doing the social media side of it. Sam, the mum's cousin, is on tour with them as their manager.

But everywhere they perform, a priceless piece of art is stolen, like a Van Gogh when they're in Amsterdam from the Van Gogh Museum. And then when the police look into it, all the evidence point to Charlie and George as the people that are doing it. Yeah. Lovely. So they've got to solve the crimes and go,

why does it look like we're the ones that are doing this? Did you enjoy writing a mystery? Because I like the idea of writing a mystery. And also, I suppose, is there a point at which you go, like, because it's your daughter's like I like the idea of writing a mystery and also I suppose is there a point at which you go like because it's your daughter's come up with the idea with you and like by writing it like I don't know about you Rob but when I write my book you feel like you disappear into that time or whatever you know it's like a kind of escapism did it feel like a kind of almost way of I mean maybe I'm overly psychoanalyzing it but a way of being

with your daughters while you're in the UK by writing this book absolutely it's more so for the second book because I'm working on the second book now so for the first one I got the contract came through on the first week of the first lockdown so it was perfect timing when all of this ended up and dried up to just go oh great I've got this to work on so that was weird because I'd have to leave my my wife and kids in the other room and go on yeah story about these two other kids but we kind of even though I'm here with you I'm going to write about two other kids completely at least I was writing about myself when I was disappearing into the other room I found though that with the first lockdown we we would my wife and I would both try and homeschool together.

Yeah. Yeah. And then just try and do our work in the afternoon. And eventually it worked better for us to go, right. I'll homeschool in the morning. Yeah. While you do your work and then we'll swap in the afternoon. Yeah.

And then the next day you can't, we just need to have strict times. Otherwise. I'm getting all hot and sweaty thinking about when we had to do that. You know, I'm getting all hot and sweaty thinking about when we had to do that you know that i'm getting i'm getting like pgst and remembering you wake up exhausted another day at home schooling but yeah the second book which i'm about two-thirds of the way through now a lot of which i wrote during that seven month away period yeah and i kind of realized that the characters are either they're becoming more like my daughters or my daughters are becoming like them. But Charlie is the rock star.

So she's the kind of the musical one, the stylish one, the slightly anxious one, a bit like my eldest. George is just wants to is a wannabe comedian and sees everything through the lens of how is this a punchline, which is a bit like my youngest. And you're a comedian and your wife is a musician. So do you feel like, does it feel like with your two kids, you've got one that's your wife and one that's you in a weird way? Each of them are bits of each of us in a different way. You know that thing of when you've got two kids, and I'm sure yours are probably at that age now,

where you look at the two of them and go, I'm pretty sure we put the same ingredients into both of you. Yeah. How is one of you a cake and one of you a sausage roll? Like you were in the oven for the same amount of time. What happened? And it is just a mix.

I look at Bebe and I see parts of me and I see parts of Ali, and then I look at Maisie and the same thing. I see different parts of me and different parts of Ali. Maisie has got that thing that you know when you look at some kids say sports wise you know I used to be a tennis coach some kids would turn up and you just go oh yeah you're a natural you've just you're a major four you can go yep yep you've absolutely got it Maisie's got that with comedy and I don't want to I can can see it. She would just come out with... OK, the best way to describe it, and this absolutely blew me away, was... So this won't surprise you to know I try and make them laugh constantly.

Try it. But we were on holidays in Mexico. Give me some examples of the things you've put yourself through to make them laugh. How far are you willing to go? Oh, God. Well, recently I let them draw tattoos on me with whiteboard markers.

With whiteboard markers? So I knew they'd wash off, but they said, can we draw on your back? And I went, yeah, okay. And then they videoed it and it was just like, poo, old, grey. So we were on holidays in Mexico.

We were on a family holiday. And we'd been driving through Mexico and stopping at traditional towns, like old towns and traditional markets and all that kind of stuff. And then we went to Tulum. And it was like new age America. I've been there. I've been there, mate. Yeah, okay. So, you know, the kind of, oh, my God,

this is like come on in for some traditional Mayan yoga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what is it that Americans go in there to try and do? It's very, yeah, it's like the trendy place in Mexico to go if you live in New York or LA. I can't get a fair description of it. So I would start to, I was starting to just impersonate the characters in the shops.

And one of them was like, oh, my God, come into the shop. We've got so much tradition. We have like traditional Mexican Tai Chi, the way the mexicans used to do tai chi it's amazing and then the girls kind of started ad-libbing with me going what's your name oh my name's lashan yeah that's right and after a little while baby and this this actually sums up the difference between the two of them baby's a bit more thoughtful she went daddy i think lashan's name should be spelled l-a-s-a-g-n-e so it's lasagna but she thinks it's pronounced lashan so that was bb's thought that was her like let's think about a joke let's construct it i think it should be spelled um l-a-s-a-g-n-e

but then she started again with the ad-libbing and she went, what's the name of LaChan's store? And I went, oh, my shop doesn't have a name. It has an emotion. It's this. It's hey. And I just pulled her face. And Maisie, continuing the ad-lib, just went, sorry, can I just check that I'm pronouncing this correctly? Is it?

I'm completely different. What is that ad-lib? Yeah, it's great. If you're on improv, if you were doing an improv show, you'd go, yeah, that was great improv. I don't think I've ever said that. I mean, that was, but I don't think that was great improv. So I guess they came together in the characters, but to answer your first question, Josh, about writing a mystery,

what's lovely about doing something like this and what comedians are really good at and why publishers love comedians right now writing children's books is, you know, technically we should know how to be entertaining and be funny, but we know how to work backwards from a punchline. You know, you'll know yourself. Sometimes you come up with a joke, like for The Last Leg, where you're thinking, oh, God, how do I write a joke

about this particular topic? And then you eke one out. It's all about lamb tails. I don't know what you're talking about. We just riff about the news on the night, right? Is it a comedy? I thought it was just like Newsnight or something. Is it jokes on there?

I'll have to watch it. In some jokes, you get the punchline first and then you go backwards from it and go how can i get there well a detective a mystery novel once you've worked out what the punchline is yeah like i started writing this i reckon i'd write about three chapters knowing where i kind of where i wanted it to end and then i stopped and then i went and wrote the ending yeah yeah and then the moment where they work out who the culprit is so So I knew I had that to aim at. And then I went back and went,

right. All I need to do is work out how to get to that point. Now you do that with the last leg. You go, I'm going to end with a rap. How do we get it out? Really obscure news stories. Huge performance.

Yeah. And let's not worry about that bit of the news. Look at this. So, you're in the UK for nine weeks. Do you have, like, a routine of seeing your family and talking to your family and stuff? How does that work? It's a bit of a weird one because of the time difference.

So, there's only two times where I can really talk to them. One is at night my time, but it's before school their time. Stressful, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So if there happens to be, you know, I might send a text going, listen, I'm up, but if it's a stressed morning, don't worry about it. The alternative is between, say, 7 and 9 in the morning for me is about their dinner time

but it's also pre-dinner time and it's also you know basketball training yeah acting class or whatever so you know where's your basketball training going it's great i mean seeing as i'm away from the kids i'm most what i want right i find i find that really difficult i've done stints in Australia. I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, spin-off show. And I did Adelaide before. So I've been in Australia for about five weeks at a time, a few times. And Lou was at home as well.

And that's when the early stages of the relationship when you talk a lot. It's like you ring every day. And I found it really difficult because I was never on anyone's wavelength. Like you say, you're knackered and want to go to sleep and they're like hello morning i've had a coffee and then when you're you're like groggy and they're like right we've just finished basketball you're never at the right you know it's the same point in the day that's what i found the most difficult you can't to connect with them yeah yeah and even yeah even now like so i might send my my wife a message at eight going right i'm up'm up. I'm having breakfast. But like this morning, I've got an hour.

Yeah. But if she doesn't get that message straight away or doesn't see it straight away, then, you know, she might call me back. They might FaceTime at quarter to nine. And I'm like, oh, I've only got 10 minutes. Yeah. Tell me about your day. And so genuinely, I understand why Russell Crowe supposedly threw a phone at someone in New York years ago. Supposedly, he definitely did.

I don't think that's a thing in dispute. Is it a claim that? The story at the time was he was trying to get through to his kids back in Australia. So I could imagine that. I know that frustration of when even this morning I got them on FaceTime and then it froze. And then they're like, Daddy, you're frozen. Come on. And you're like, oh, no.

Oh, no, it's horrible. We didn't do this. Do you think, I was going to say, because my dad was a black cab driver and lorry driver and did really weird shift patterns, so he'd always be out in the evenings and back in the morning. And then, like, you know, I'm used to late nights gigging and stuff like that. But Lou, because Lou's mum and dad like a bit more nine to five like worked in the city

would leave at exact time and she finds used to find it really odd with me just bowling in at 10 o'clock going i don't want to watch a film and she's like but it's bedtime now i was like well no not really is it because i ain't gotta be up you're not working tomorrow and i've not got so we could just stay up till four in the morning can You're like, can we? I was like, yeah. So was your upbringing a bit more nine to five or was it a bit more loose like your kids now? Well, no, my dad was a Qantas cabin crew. Oh, right. Oh, yeah.

So it's quite similar in a way, isn't it? That kind of being away, yeah. So he'd be away not for as long, but probably for a bigger percentage of the year because for every two days he spent away, he got to have one at home. Right. So if it was a, you know, whatever, 20-day London trip, then he'd be back for 10.

Yes. But in like in a day where there wasn't FaceTime and it was really expensive to phone. So like I was talking to my mum about it recently and she went, yeah, Dad would be gone for two weeks and we'd get one phone call in those two weeks because it was so expensive for him to call from London to Australia. So I grew up with a dad who was away a lot. Not only that, every now and then he'd take us on a trip. Like if he had a, if it was school holidays and he was going to Melbourne and back, he'd go, yeah, come on, come to Melbourne with me for the day.

And at that point, he was the guy that made the announcements on the plane, like he was the head of cabin service. So for me, my dad flew around the world and talked on a microphone. Yeah, exactly. It makes sense because a lot of people can't understand certain lifestyles, but then it's just that I couldn't bear to do nine to five in office that just doesn't suit me at all so just different people's different things suit but that's so mad that i didn't know that about you that you know so yeah he was flying about talking on a microphone absolutely and i remember talking to one of his

mates once he didn't also sit in a wheelchair and film kids singing did he it's a separate separately spending all day sitting by a hotel swimming pool yeah you know which is what you think of the comedy gigs that we've done in the early days where you'd go i don't know go to singapore and do three nights with three other comics and you just all day and then do a gig at night and i remember talking to one of my dad's mates and he went, yeah, that's what we used to do. We used to look at each other and go, this is the best job in the world. How are we? I've done the South Africa gigs in Johannesburg and I was around the pool like in the day.

And it was like, weirdly, every couple of days, because I was there for about five days, every couple of days there was a big group of like 20 women, a couple of gay guys. And I was like, that's a weird place for a hen do. And then another lot came and it was another like sort of mixed stages of women and a couple of gay guys and i was like that's a weird place for a hen do and then another lot came and it was another like sort of like sort of middle mixed stages of women and a couple of gay guys like

what is going on here and then i was like oh it's ba cabin crew i thought it was a random hen do destination japanisburg casino the inflatable penises are a bit much aren't they come on guys yeah like you like it never occurred to me that other people's dads didn't do that. Yeah. And I remember doing the Hyena Comedy Club in Newcastle. Yeah, that was a notoriously tough comedy club. It was a hard club.

They were the kind of audience that would metaphorically keep punching you until you got up and then they'd go, do you know what? He's still standing. Fair play to you. Yeah. Yeah. But back in the day. I never got up.

They're still punching him. So back in the day, if you played that club, you stayed at an apartment that the club owned or that one of the comedians owned. And whoever else was on with you that weekend, you'd share an apartment with them. And so I had a couple of weekends in a row where I shared with Frankie Boyle. Oh, yeah. And Frankie and I became quite close and we'd sit up you know

very similar comedians you would be surprised Frankie and I would sit up until all hours drinking cups of tea and talking about like Tai Chi and Taoism and the universe and Terence McKenna and all this amazing stuff yeah to the point where the next time I was on mock the week where you do your little stand-up bit that's the wheel of stand-up yeah one of my bits and then coming back and standing next to Frankie and he just leant over and he went good chi really good well could I just ask on that mock the week thing when a topic came up that you had stand-up on, you must have felt that is a stroke of luck. When the wheels span, you must have thought,

I can't believe I've got a bit on this. Such good chi. What chi from the wheel? Every time. I got lucky. I don't know about other people, but every time. I've never seen anyone not have something. And you'd think in 20 years it would just go to, like, rhubarb.

And everyone looked at Ed Burns going, I've got nothing, lads. Hugh Dennis is like, oh, I can try. But fucking who's got stuff on Rhubarb? But luckily it was stuff like trains and, you know, Mickey Flanagan's life, things like that. How was your routine on Mickey Flanagan's life, Rob? I'm still doing it. on Mickey Flanagan's life, Rob.

I'm still doing it. Anyway, Frankie and I got talking and somewhere we were talking, I think I was just talking about, you know, my dad working for Qantas and he was talking about how his dad would come home from work at maybe seven or eight at night and they'd only see him for maybe half an hour and then they'd have to go to bed when they were kids. And it was the first time that occurred to me that, oh, that's what most dads did yeah yeah most dads had nine to

five jobs and or maybe even a little bit longer but for me dad would be away like i said for 20 days and then you'd come home from school and he'd be there at three yeah it's like feast or famine isn't it and you actually get dedicated time i think i say sometimes people can misconstrue it and you think oh you don't see your dad but then like i remember that my dad would have like a week off or something he's properly there kind of thing yeah so now you know i try and do that with my girls if i'm home i'm home yes and i'm there yeah and there was one thing that my youngest used to or still does that i used to find a little bit annoying but this trip back i kind of went oh no this is actually a compliment.

So when she would have a friend over, and this is how the whiteboard markers came about on my back, she had a friend over to play and she would come up and go, Daddy, can you play with us? Can we play jails? Do your kids play jails? Jails? What's jails? No.

They just send you. Well, I press the cell block H kind of stuff. Yeah, it's like basically all it consists of is, Daddy, you're in jail. You have to go over there in the corner. You're not allowed out. I'm like, why? What have I done?

Well, you know what you've done. Go and stand in the cell. They put me on the timeout step. They don't call it jail, but they go, you've been naughty, go on the timeout step. And they sort of invent something that I've done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a bit similar, I think.

I think they just like having a bit of power over yeah hands on hip pointing yeah yeah yeah so amazing would jails makes it worse though because you're like i literally haven't done anything wrong yeah yeah you get really defensive time out gives you a bit of hope but jail how long not any bail australian justice is wrong again isn't it it's unbelievable yeah just panicking about chopper reed and all those stories of australian australian prisons so maisie will do that now she'll go uh and when what happened with the tattoos came about because it started with a makeover she had a friend over and she went daddy can we give you a makeover and there was a little part of me going no this is why we ask you to have a friend over yeah we'll go off and do your

own thing and then I kind of went no actually I think that's kind of a compliment if you've got a friend over but you still want me involved in your games yeah yeah I'm actually going to take that as a compliment and I am going to come over and yeah you can do a makeover you and your friend can do a makeover and play jails would draw tattoos or whatever you want to do on me. Do you think the tattoos were so you'd fit in in jail? They were just affiliating you to a gang. Are you a blood or are you a crip? Let's just check.

Yeah, exactly. But what makes that worse is that my elders wrote back on my back and front on my front. Oh no. If she's doing that to make things easier in jail. Yeah, I know. Give me some prank, that toy for a big boy. The bizarrest thing that you're up to at the moment, Hills,

which I know you're not on here to promote, but you're now the face of Rugby League in the UK. No. Are you the face of Rugby League? I'm the face of Channel 4's Rugby League coverage. Channel 4, Rob, you're not going to believe this, have bought the Rugby League. What a thing to fall into Adam's lap.

Wow, you play, don't you, up north, don't you? Is it Warrington you go and play for? Yes. You go play for them? I play in the Warrington's Disability Rugby League team and I've been doing it for about four years. No offence, Adam, but I sort of assume now, I didn't think you were going pro in between you know i think that would be the headline that you are now

with a with a prosthetic leg playing full pelt to get another job that involves traveling around the world i don't understand he's gonna actually be in the actual Olympics now, you know. Well, I actually, when they offered me the job, I'll be honest, my first thought was no, because I went, no, you need an expert. Like, yes, I play and I love it. But you want a proper rugby league commentator. And they went, oh, we're not letting you commentate. So are you presenting it or are you just doing that promo for it?

Like you're sort of the anchor or? you just doing that promo for it? Are you sort of the anchor? I'll be the anchor of it. I think it needs that, though, because I've watched Rugby League. I prefer that to Union because it's a bit more exciting, I think, when I've watched it. But I feel like sport sometimes doesn't have that entry point, right? I see you go, oh, it's Adam Hills. Oh, the last guy, the funny guy.

Oh, he likes this. I like him. I'll probably like it. So what is it? And then your passion will come through. And I think you need those people that are the the middle ground between the sport and the public and i think it's perfect really because if i if you weren't doing it and i switched it over and it was sort of like a sports person i didn't really know i'd be like oh whatever but if i see you go oh okay what's this then i think it's a good way in to be honest i think they've made a great decision guys that's what i'm saying well done it's god even just hearing you say that it's

interesting because i used to host this music quiz show in australia and i'm not i'm not a music nerd but i love music yeah and i kind of realized while doing it that my job was to translate the music nerd knowledge to the people at home who might not know. And so I think I'm going to try and approach the rugby league the same way and go, look, I love this game. Here's why I love it. And these guys are going to tell me. Yeah, they're the experts, you know. I'll try and translate that for you at home.

And in many ways, I hate to admit this, but me, you and Alex aren't experts in the news. Not yet. So what your job is, Hills, is every time you get a job is can we get that guy in that doesn't know much about this well no but i think even if you do like i know quite a lot about boxing now i've become a bit i've probably nerded out of it and i could probably have a semi-serious conversation about the tactics of a boxer but i don't i'll never know as much as a proper boxer or a proper boxing expert.

So my skills are whenever I do any sort of boxing, the coverage is going, oh, this is exciting because that person doesn't like that person. And he's quite good aggressively, but he's got more skills and just break it down really simply rather than trying to be like, I think some people get,

that's why with football coverage, I find I don't give a shit about zonal pressing play. You know, when they go, oh, the zonal press. I'm like, shut up. Just let the experts say that. Just be, like, entertaining and explain it simply. I think, yeah, you sometimes get sports presenters that want to show that they know what they're talking about.

Yeah. They're not comfortable with being the person that's... And it's a difficult job. The person who's good at linking it all together and being interested and asking all these questions. I think Mark Pugach is really good. I think Mark Pugach is great. He's really good on the football.

Gary Lineker, he's constantly going on like he knows about football. What is this guy? Well, I remember when I hosted the quiz show in Australia, we had a guy come on as consultant who basically directed Paul Hogan's TV show. He directed all the chat shows in Australia that had come before us. He directed Crocodile Dundee.

Oh, what a guy. The guy. And he kind of taught me how to be a TV host. You call that presenting? Did he say that to you? You call that presenting? That's not a clapperboard. This is a clapperboard this is a clapperboard

he basically said hosting a tv show is like hosting a dinner party where the camera is the guest that's just arrived and doesn't know anybody else there so your job is to go oh hi welcome this is you know josh this is alex and here's what we're talking about tonight and if they talk about something that the camera or the guest might not know, it's your job to go, hang on for a sec, I'm just going to explain this to you up to speed. Let's get it going. That's a great tip. You always have a TV with video clips at your dinner party.

There was one particular show that like two or three episodes in, I think it was, and there were two things that happened. Firstly, I think someone mentioned the band Limp Bizkit. Oh, yeah. Who was the consultant, watched the episode back and went, what's a Limp Bizkit? And I went, oh, it's a band. It's like a kind of 90s, but it's a kind of heavy.

The chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavored water kind of vibe that's yeah that's a big biscuit i was a big limb biscuit fan guys i've got can i just ask there's an open goal with limp biscuit there hills were you doing the leg stuff back in the day the point was he said well so why don't you explain that to me as a viewer who limp biscuit are because i don't know yeah yeah and you can do it in a funny way as well can't you yeah and he said you don't need all you have to do is go limp biscuit of course with the 90s this 90s band really in your face fred durst backwards red cap rolling rolling rolling that's all you need to do just just for the record rob's just hit his mic rolling

yeah i did it's quite hard actually to do that it's quite talent fred there so i don't think you really got respect you deserved on the new metal scene but then there was another moment where someone brought up a really technical term and i let it go the conversation go and peter said what is what's that term mean and i said to be honest i don't know and he said then ask yeah yeah the viewers don't know and better off asking making yourself look like a bit of an idiot but at least it's being explained the not asking and then people going oh i don't know what they're talking about and then they turn off you do that rob that's my i've always i've never really been embarrassed.

I think because I've never really thought, well, it's a little bit deeper, but because I've never really had much respect for myself sort of educationally because of bad experiences at schools, I never really had any sort of expectation or ego to lose by not knowing because everyone automatically assumed I never knew. So actually, I think I've become way more informed

because I'll be in a group of 10 people at a work event with people way higher than me and they'll say something like what's that I don't know what's going on and then they'll explain it and then you find out whereas if you just pretend to know you never learn basically but I think that came through lack of expectation and I'd say don't you got nothing to lose if you just you know everyone already thinks you don't know what it is they've already assumed i don't know so might as well just confirm it what what is that and in a setting like that having someone like you is invaluable for everyone else there yeah and also it makes the perk it makes what's mad is you think oh my god if i don't know this thing i'm gonna look stupid and

everyone's gonna think bad of me but in reality what happens is you find out which is a positive and also the person you're asking feels really good. Yes. They feel powerful and then they like you more. So actually by doing that, they're like, I like that guy. No, you don't. You like the feeling you get by being around me.

It's like when blokes go, yeah, I'm really into sort of, you know, I love women that are funny. And most of the time they go, no, you just want a woman that laughs at you. Let's be honest. I've seen them in a pub. But that is such good advice for presenting,

especially the dinner party thing and asking questions. Because if you don't know, then the audience won't, will they? No, absolutely. And so that's kind of what I'm going to try and do with Rugby League. Like they've given me experts. I've got proper people around me and I'm just going to ask loads of questions. And it'll probably be the questions that I genuinely want to ask. I'll be like, okay, well, why are they winning? Basically, why are they winning and basically why they're not i don't get it what's

going on yeah i did when i watch rugby i do sort of think there's no way those two play the same sport what's going on with their position because you see a bloke that's like a well like that and they're like a little skinny fella i'm like well he must be on the wing or something but god knows oh that's brilliant well done mate good luck with that that'd be that'd be great fun it's and it's lovely like i was up in leeds yesterday helping you know for the for the press launch and it was just i was out the front of channel four in leeds just filming a little bit and this guy walked up while we stopped filming just came over and shook my hand and went good luck for saturday and then just just made me realize how much it really means to as well like having watching you watching someone with a disability talk about sport

and engaging it and say you're a fan of it and you play it, but in such a casual, throwaway way rather than it's sort of a proven a point kind of thing, just so good for kids watching it. You know, if they love rugby, it's sort of like when I was a kid and someone had a disability and talked about rugby, the vibe of the class would be like, well, what do you know about rugby? But then that kind of thing, because you can't play it kind of thing, which is obviously a terrible, ignorant opinion,

but what the culture was like. But I think, honestly, and I said it before to Alex and you as well, what you've done in the last leg is absolutely unbelievable. And I think for someone who's sort of outside of it, I think it's amazing. And you can see it with kids that can go, oh, well, those guys do that. And, you know, can play the sport or sit and talk about it and everyone listens properly so i think it's remarkable and i think you should be really proud of it to be honest especially for young kids you've forgotten one of the people who does the last like that

yeah and you as well josh well done you even though you know sort of there cheering them on Sort of there, cheering them on. To be fair to Josh, Alex will often say to me, I don't think Josh gets the appreciation that he deserves for being an able-bodied person, being thrown into the Paralympics. Yeah. This disability chat. And not getting cancelled. Surely you must have said something wrong by now.

Just by accident. Rob, tell him. Just before we end, tell Hilsey about your hotel room. Oh, I don't know if you know about this. I went to, I was doing a kick in Derby and they gave me the, correct me if I get it wrong, but like the accessibility room. So the room that's sort of designed if you're in a wheelchair or struggling to get about with all the, you know, the bars for the shower and the low, you know, that or the low sink and stuff. So I went in there and the emergency called and I went to the reception and went,

oh, look, you've put me in the wheelchair accessibility room and do you want to move me in case someone checks in that needs it? She went, oh, don't you need it? I was like, no, no, I don't. And I'm stood up at this point as well, to be fair. And obviously not in a wheelchair. I went, no, I don't need it. She went, but you're disabled.

And I was like, well, no, I'm not disabled. She went, yeah, you are. You're on last leg. And I went, no, I don't need you, but you're disabled. And I was like, well, I'm not, well, no, I'm not disabled. She went, yeah, you are, you're on last leg. And I went, oh, I'm not Alex Brooker. She went, no, you're Josh, you're disabled. I said, he's not, I went, actually, remarkably, he is able-bodied. I know you wouldn't believe it, but he's, you know, technically, you know, on paper,, medically able-bodied. Wow.

I think, Josh, you know you will have come a long way when you can go to Google, you can start typing the sentence is Josh Widdicombe, and the next word won't be disabled. It'll probably be cancelled. Josh, do you want to ask the last question? I mean, it's probably impossible for Adam to answer this one without getting into it. Josh, do you want to ask the last question? I mean, it's probably impossible for Adam to answer this one without getting his head in. Well, we like to end always with asking the same question

because Matthew Crosby, who you know, came on and his wife's a big fan of the show. And he used it as an opportunity to say something that annoyed him about her parenting that he hadn't confronted her about. Which was hanging the bibs on the tap. No, no, hanging the bibs when they were wet to dry on the oven door because they just dripped on the floor.

And he was like, why don't you just put them in the sink and let them drip in the sink? So basically, is there something that your partner does parenting-wise that annoys you that you'd haven't really brought up. And if she were to listen to this, she'd probably go, yeah, he's probably right. And it would avoid an argument. I mean, this is very difficult for you to say in a flat on your own,

the other side of the world. She's just a bit distant. My wife's doing an amazing job on her own. So for that whole seven months and there's nothing she did wrong in that you know what

I think that's the perfect I think that's the perfect we can't put this on you Adam you've already got enough groveling to do thanks so much Boxed Objectives is out

and I thoroughly I've started reading it and thoroughly enjoyed it, even though it's not for me, Adam. It's not for 38-year-old men, but buy it for your children. What age would you say would be the youngest child you should buy this for? I mean, it's technically nine to 12,

but I think if you've got an eight-year-old who's a good reader, then probably eight. But I tried to write it in a way that doesn't talk down to kids and like yeah I you know my kids love it when like my daughter for instance wanted to play bass she wanted to buy a bass bass guitar and she's like she's a really good drummer um and she said you know daddy I mean she was upset and mommy won't buy me a bass and I kind of sat down with her right so there's a sentence that's never been said. And I said, right, I'm going to talk to you like a grown-up now. Okay, I'm going to talk to you as if you're another adult.

And she went, okay. And I went, what if you're shit? I went, okay, let me put it this way. You wanted to play drums, so we sent you to drum class to work out if you like it if it's the kind of instrument you really click with and if you're good at it and after you know a couple of months when your drum teacher went oh she's great at this we went good well let's buy her a set of drums yes what if you turn up for your first lesson and go oh i don't like it or oh this isn't the instrument for me or oh i'm shit at shit at this. There's no point.

And she kind of went, yeah, all right. So I said, so look, have lessons. We'll take lessons, totally. And if you love it and you think this is the instrument for you and you think you're good at it, then totally we'll buy you a bass. I need to start doing that. That's a good technique because I've bought a taekwondo suit after one lesson and she refuses to wear it.

It's too tight and she doesn't like the belt. So that would just sit in the drawer. 38 quid down. My thought when I'm writing the book was I want to write this to kids as much as possible as if they're adults. I don't want to talk to them. So I'm hoping then that means you can read it as an adult. I mean, it's a pretty easy read, obviously.

Yeah. But it's still enjoyable for an adult because it doesn't feel like, oh, this isn't aimed at me. The best things for kids, TV, books, all those things those things bluey are things that adults can enjoy exactly i i could we could do an entire other podcast of me just talking about how much i love bluey yeah i know i could do what i missed tumble but it would be creepy so i won't i'll leave you with my favorite bluey fact yeah well i hope it's a bluey fact I've heard it and I'd hope to think it's true, is that when they sold Bluey to Disney and Disney+,

Disney originally said, great, we will buy this and we're going to re-voice it with American accents. And the owners of Bluey went, well, in that case, you can't have it. You can only have it if you keep Australian accents. Yes. Good work. Great work.

We tried to do that with the last leg, but you did insist. Thanks, Adam, so much. That's brilliant. Cheers, guys. Cheers, mate. Good luck with the book. Thanks.

Adam Hill's MBE there. MBE. I found it weird at the start, Rob. The dynamic had changed. Yeah, you didn't know what to do. You were in the big board chair. You had changed. Yeah, you didn't know what to do. You were in the big boy chair. You were dominating hills and you didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to dominate.

Normally, you're just on the end of the sofa, legs crossed. Just making a snide comment now and again. Snipping in and out. But all of a sudden, look at you. You're large and in charge. Yeah. It's like kind of... Oh, such a boring analogy.

But I was going to say, it's like if you could take kind of... Go on, mate. It's not stopped me before take someone who's just like a goal scorer and then they've got to go and play in midfield and actually try and kind of control the game and i'm like no i just pop up and knock it in the goal at the end i'm not i've not got an engine for this i'm too tired rooney's gone deep um but you know he's got really good... That's so interesting, though, about, like, that's mad, his lifestyle, isn't it, of being away from home. But everyone's different, isn't it?

I find that, like, people go, oh, my God, how can you be away for a month? But then, like, I'll literally have a month off over Christmas. Exactly. And I think there is this feeling that, oh, you're on tour, you're away a lot. But there is some people who work nine to five and you hardly get to see your kids then anyway,

even if you are in the house. It's just really difficult like it's just different lifestyles isn't it i'd really struggle to do nine to five and not see them every like morning and and most evenings yeah and stuff but uh yeah is what it is you know everyone's different that's why the podcast's good because people um get to hear about other people and how they're doing it and all that kind of stuff so yeah and also some really great mott the week stuff i really enjoyed that back and forth michigan flanagan stuff that kind of stuff. And also some really great Mock the Week stuff. I really enjoyed that back and forth. I really enjoyed that. Michigan Flanagan stuff.

That was really good. That felt really good. Do you know what it reminded me of? Vintage Beckett Widdicombe. Do you know what it reminded me of? The golden days of Mock the Week. The golden days of Mock the Week. Oh, me, you Romesh Acaster.

Oh, I loved it. Back and forth. In off the chest. Top corner. Yes, please. Right. We'll see you next week. That was Adam Hills.

Yes. Also, do sign up to the pre-sale for the live dates that are going on sale. They are going on sale Wednesday to people who are on the mailing lists. If you want to get tickets to come and see us live on these tour shows, please go to either the Instagram account where you can find the mailing list in the bio or on the description of this episode if you a little little thumb it down

on your phone you'll that sounds horrible but basically yeah there's a link to it you'll find a way we'll hope to see you there

see you on Tuesday please buy a ticket it'll be awful please it'll be awful it'll be it'll be genuinely terrible imagine how happy the Ramses will be

alright see you next week we walk out it's just James Ed and the two Ramses Imagine how happy the Ramseys will be. All right, see you next week. We walk out, it's just James, Ed and the two Ramseys, front row, no one else. Yeah, they've got arse on all the tickets just to stare at us. That'd be the ultimate play, wouldn't it? Off-menu and the Ramseys bought all the tickets and sat there, the four of them, staring at us, doing the podcast.

I'd still perform it. Yeah, I'd still do it. Fuck them. I love getting aggressive about a situation that's never going to happen. Anyway, see you next week and hopefully you get some tickets. Bye.

Bye.