Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S05 EP1: The Heatwave (and Post Holiday) Breakdown Special

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

S05 EP1: The Heatwave (and Post Holiday) Breakdown Special We're back! Literally minutes after arriving back from holiday late last night Rob was on mic to record the first episode of this series such is the dedication of Bobby B and Stiff Neck Widdicombe! Thanks Rob + Josh (and Michael) BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Rob Beckett. And Josh Whittacombe. That was Finan. Finan. Just turned two. You should be able to get where they're from, Rob.

I weren't listening, to be honest. All right, Finan. I'm so sorry. We'll get on to it, but I've had a terrible, I've had a tough day. No offence, Finan. It sounded great, but I heard you say our names, but beyond that, my heart and head weren't there. Where are they from?

Well, we are recording now. How many minutes after you got home from your holiday? I've been home for seven minutes. This is what we're all about. I was supposed to have got home about three hours ago so what happened right so i don't know do we need to say anything else about finnan i don't want to take his moment oh no no uh no it was one of the it was one of the briefest emails we've ever got all right fair enough good on him good guy he's from fife and his mom's called lauren lauren from fife and finnan thank very much. Josh, I don't know if I should be recording today.

I feel a bit like a duty of care. I shouldn't be. You know they let Carrie Katona on this morning when she was slurring. I feel like that. That's what's happened. I've been home seven minutes because it is fucking hot, isn't it? Yeah. And I've been in Greece for the week, which is why we had a week off.

I was in Greece for the week. How was the weather? 30 degrees, which is why we had a week off. I was in Greece for the week. How was the weather? 30 degrees, which for me is too hot. Yeah. And I've never in my life come home from holiday and been overwhelmed by the British weather. I literally, from stepping off the plane to getting back to my house, my head has felt like it's about to fucking explode.

It was like the airport was weird. There was one one bit so i was smug because it was air conditioned and then you go on a walkway that is just basically a glass corridor conservatory and it's like you know when you put your hand in the oven to get something out yeah and your wrist is exposed because it hasn't got the oven global you go oh that's hot that's hot imagine transporting your whole body and in family through that heat how did the how did the daughters deal with it how do they deal that they went they went daddy it's too hot and looked at me as if i could turn it down oh mate yeah i've had that for the last two or three days so i'm aware that i've been on holiday and it was lovely i'll get to that but the journey home there's an hour delay on baggage i don't know if you know about this no michael does he's still lost his bag hence the delayed episode the other way he's on a week delay he's on a one week delay i'm on i was on an

hour delay just for people he's not still at the carousel he has he has gone home no yeah he's back he's back indoors so what did you do with your hour delay? Well, I went there and I said, there was no bags. We got there and there was no bags. And I said to the lady, oh, customer services. Because also they've got loads of bags everywhere. You haven't been to an airport recently. Heathrow is just bags fucking everywhere. And then they...

What's happened? Sorry. Why has all this happened? Is there some kind of... Well, basically they can't get enough staff to do all the jobs. So I went to the thingy and she was like, I went, yeah, they can't get enough staff to do all the jobs. So I went to the thingy and she was like, I went, yeah, the bags, there's an hour delay. I went, okay, but what, when from?

Because an hour, if it's like an hour delay from like, whenever you landed, it's an hour till you get your bags. That's not that bad, is it? But if you normally get your bags 45 minutes after you land, after you've been... Is it an hour from then? She went to me, when did they pull the air bridge over? I went, pardon? She said, when did they attach the air bridge?

I went, first of all, I don't know. Second of all, what's an air bridge? Was it that oven hell? I just had to carry four fucking rollies, four rolly suitcases we took. Oh, my word. Yeah. What did you do with the kids?

iPads for the hour, surely. So I sent Lou out. Well, I actually had a bit of a win here. I sent Lou out to the Costa of the Marks and Spencers to get some sandwiches for the kids and a coffee. So she had both. Well, she didn't have to come back in. No, she went and just sat with them.

And then I waited for all our bags. You just sat by the baggage carousel on your own rob yeah and you managed to style that one out without lou going i know what you're effing up doing mate that was the that was a highlight to be honest the 45 minutes sat on a i don't know if it was 45 minutes to an hour whatever it was anyway i came out and then she and sandwiches we got in the got in the taxi we thought we've absolutely we've nailed this we're in the taxi about you know we like well you landed at 20 past two we booked it or was it a black cab it was like a minibus thing like a van thing right to get us all in because you can't it's hard it's hard to get four and car seats and baggage into

just like a normal car so it was like a sort of one of them cars that like um it's one of them like van things where you face each other it's quite nice actually oh yeah i like them yeah so it was one of them you feel like you're in one direction yeah just imagine like the argument zane had in here like zane put out the bloody bifter man we're going to the smash hits pole winners party have you ever um have you ever i mean this is a very industry thing Rob But occasionally The company that does the cars To TV shows will send one of them When it's just you

And it feels absolutely incredible The options you've got Seating wise are unbelievable It feels like you're being driven to the big brother house And then you're just going to jump out of it With a suitcase and be like hey Giving it all that sass So we got in that car car it was quite smug because we had the air con on yeah and um and then and that was quite because there was some poor poor bastards of broken air

condition i could see on the motorway with all the windows down like they were dogs i've been there i remember my old car had no air con and when you're on the motorway in this seat so you get the wind but then josh there was an accident oh no of course there was so there was an accident so we were in state everyone was all right we were there was a couple of accidents so one was a few a tank was on fire this isn't if you are listening to this this was monday surely this is this was monday day one of the hot two days so i think there was a very terrible accident on sunday but also i don't think anyone was hurt in this one and i hope they weren't. Sorry to make jokes about it.

Well, no, there was on Monday, it was just two cars that sort of bashed into each other, but everyone looked all right. So we were stuck for about an hour or two hours. The air con was on, but it was battling against a black van in the middle of the M25 stationary. And I was like, and then every 10 minutes,

because basically the max was seven power at 16 degrees, right? And that was too cold when we were moving, Josh. And then when we were stationary, then I went, so I'd put it down to about four on 16. But then every 10 minutes, I found myself going up to level five of blowing power. Another 10 minutes, up to level six. I was like, in 20 20 minutes there's nowhere else

to go here it was at seven for a good 45 minutes on full power god and how are the children dealing with it well we gave them we gave them we gave them their ipads because they wouldn't shut the fuck up otherwise but then they get they get car sick if they have the ipads but we weren't moving stationary yeah but it was stationary. I tried to explain that to Lou, and she was like, but what if that kid was car sick? I was like, it's a risk I'm going to have to take. They're not allergic to cars.

But they were just... Also, when I got back, the fucking foxes out of my bins. I put two bricks on it. How strong are these foxes? Well, maybe they're working together. Maybe. So this is what they were singing. This is stuck in my head.

They sung this for about three hours. Chico Bon Bon. Chico Bon Bon. What's that? Some TV show. Chico Bon Bon. Chico Bon Bon. Chico Bon Bon.

There's another 15 seconds. They sound chipper though, Rob. They're enjoying themselves. The high before the crash, Josh. Like day one of Glasgow. No, please. Oh, that sounds like the climax of the show. No. Oh, no. They went in again. Oh, that sounds like the climax of the show. No. Oh, no.

It went in again. Oh, my word. Yeah, so we were stuck for about an hour, two hours, and then we literally just got hit in to, again, I thought that glass walkway was the last of the heat until I got into my house. Oh, my word. And no window's been open in a week, Josh.

No. Of course, did you close all the curtains before you went? Nah, of course I didn't close all the curtains Josh who would have done that before a heatwave no every fucking curtain open red hot to the fucking touch my kids took their feet off 30 feet off

took their socks off and the floor was hot so we're in the process of trying to cool the house down and so you've had a bit of a luck here again Rob that you've had a bit of a luck here again, Rob, that you've had to go to do this. Yes, again, I actually... This is very much the baggage carousel of the home time.

Look, I've got to work, Josh. I'm self-employed. You can't take time off. Yeah. But what I would say is we had a lovely break, but it's just whenever stuff doesn't go to plan and then it's 36 degrees. And I've been... I don't know what it was, but but being away from home i was getting more and more anxious about the heat and i won't even hear i just thought i thought i was gonna come over my house

had melted like you if you read the papers it feels like the world has turned into the actual sun and like it's like the floor is actually lava but it's actually just a bit overwhelmingly hot and for certain people vulnerable people older people or people that work outside or work in the sun they've got to be really careful but ultimately just sort of stay in and you'll be all right yeah my house is not that bad today although we've got so my daughter's in our room because her room's too hot right so she's on our floor tonight but i don't i don't mind admitting it rob i quite like that i don't mind it. Our upstairs gets really hot,

so I think I'm just going to let him fall asleep in front of the telly and then carry him up like I'm on some sort of documentary about bare parents. How was the holiday? It was amazing, actually. We went to Greece,

that place you went to in Greece. Yeah. Which we sort of booked by coincidence, but it is amazing. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, it's good. But the weird thing about it is it's quite a pricey holiday. It's like a half-billed we went.

So it's a fairly, like, fancy resort. But it's sort of like, we went to the beach hotel, and then there's a few others, and you can use your dining vouchers, all the other ones. Can you? Yeah, do you not know? No. So there's the buffet you can use, and then all the other restaurants nearby, they do a...

Oh, they knock some money off, don't they, if you give them your room number? They knock money off, or there's a three-course menu that you can have, like... If you have off a cart, you just get a discount, but if you have the set menu, you can just get the set menu included in your price. Oh, you absolutely played it. There's me. i've had an absolute shocker there what so you didn't know that no i just thought you got 20 euros off your dinner not that there was a they

don't i tell you what they don't trumpet that around they're not willing they're not telling you that options there so some restaurants have got like there's a la carte and then they've got the set menu for the people that have got half-balled. Oh, for the love of God. I like Hayley. But what's weird about that place is, it's weird, because you can get, like, just a room where your kids sleep on, like, a fold-out bed in your room, which is sort of, like, not cheap, but not mad money.

But then the upper end of the scale, if you walk round the other side, there's, like, villas that you imagine the Ecclestons ecclestons will stay it's like from one extreme to the other it's all like it's like rose was uh was checking out the prices of them and trying to make an argument for them throughout our holiday absolutely no way absolutely no it was like center parks of billionaires so there's like normal families there but then also really weird posh ones yeah so it's like yeah lou crapped me up because like there was like you know i hate because there's a kids club so the kids really liked it we i don't i'm not bothered if they're going if they don't but sometimes when it's really

hot it's quite good for them to get out the sun for a bit and play with other kids in an air conditioned room rather than just laying on the bed watching their ipad in an air conditioned room so we just said to look you can go in there if you want to go in there, but don't worry if you don't want to go in there. And then one day they met a kid around the pool and they said, oh, we're going to the kids' club. So they went. Actually, it was a girl from our school.

What a chance is that? That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. So anyway, because she was going into the kids' club, they went, oh, can we go in with her? So we had three hours in the morning for a couple of days. Oh, my word. What did you do, Rob? Just laid down waiting for him to come out again but overhearing awful parents at the kids club is mine i think

this summer i want this is a little email in what are things have you overheard at the kids club drop off on a holiday there's this one absolute prick of a bloke that went there so basically because they go this is well normally you have to bite your tongue if you hear anything at school you've got free reign i'm gonna two foot this prick right i look let's be honest right your kids going into the kids club is quite good isn't it for the parents if the kids are happy going in and you get to have three hours in the sun without looking after your kids win win and you may in the back you're going oh please go in i want to go and do this today but you never say out loud right this toss pot when at one point

when i'll come and in you get so i can go and have fun and i nearly fucking chinned him i was like you dirty old prick and he was one of them old blokes old blokes have kids who look like they're the granddad where he's basically been career driven for years earned a few quid done whatever he wanted finally settled down probably with secretary, knocked out a couple of kids and he's in denial about his life. And that fucking toss. At one point, they went, dad, I need my swimming costume because they're going to the swimming pool today.

She went, well, I can't get it now. Your mum will bring it later. I've got tennis in five minutes. I was like, you fat loser. This bloke, right, he was about 16 stone, 16 stone, five foot five. I went, what are you going to learn about tennis at 63, you silly old c***?

It's my tennis lesson. Fucking grow up and get your kids swimming costume, you helmet. Why are you having a tennis lesson on holiday? Oh, I tell you,

fuck off having a tennis lesson on holiday. It gives a shit. It's 30 degrees, you fat old bastard. You'll have an heart attack. Oh, it feels great being able to let loose

because it's not the school gates. Come on. It's mad to try and learn a skill on holiday. Unless he plays tennis at home, in which case, get tennis lessons at home when you're not on holiday. You buy a fucking pool and a beach, mate. Look, he looked like human gout. First lesson, stop eating. Then you can play tennis.

Did you say any of this? It doesn't matter how many... I didn't say it to him, no. Just saved it up to run at you on the podcast. But I hope he... Well, the problem is he might find out about this. But Joe Watford won't see him again. Yeah, but if he identifies himself

from that description of the things he's said, he's not self-aware enough. No, he's not listening to this. He's far too self-involved to listen to anything that may benefit his children, the fucking loser. I love the fact you think this may benefit his children the fucking loser um and i love the fact you think this may benefit his children you've got you've got some place in this podcast and also because it's basically those sort of like weird rich parents there lou lou cracked me up

we was doing this thing he went in today's episode of rich but sad there's a man from the hotel teaching a child to ride a bike imagine outsourcing learning to ride a bike yeah sure i've not taught my kids yet josh but let's not get bogged down by that but when i do it'll be me and not by some 22 year old greek man on a seasonal zero hour contract fuck me how was the food rob did they enjoy the greek the food oh well the food, Rob? Did they enjoy the Greek food? Well, the food, I mean, I reckon I got my money's worth out of the plain pasta I had off them. You know, they basically ate plain pasta. Was that on the ala carte or was that on the...

That was just fucking 10 euros out of your pocket or whatever it was. Fucking hell. They just ate plain pasta. But on the flight out, Josh, right? You know, like British Airways, you sort of think they're like the fancy one and you normally get...

You don't get food. You did until a couple of months ago yeah you don't get any food anymore right so i was in like economy euro travel whatever they call it we was on a 7 a.m flight do you know what they came through with they came through with a snack and a drink right you get a bottle of water but a small bottle of water not your normal size one a little one but you never see anywhere right like a kid's like a kid's the anywhere, right? Like a kid's can't buy. The one you can't buy. The one you can't buy. Yeah, the one you can't buy.

Tiny little, like, little slug, like that, little slugger drink, and a Nutri-Grain. A Nutri-Grain. Oh, that is bleak. The kid's got a Cocoa Pop cereal bar. On the way back, tiny bottle of water again, and a packet of ready-salted crisps. Oh, my God.

I felt like I was round a nan's house that hated me. Fucking Nutri-Grain. Could you buy anything? Yeah, you could. Could you pimp up your order? You could buy a scone. I don't know about you, I don't want one at 7am. No, and I'm from Devon.

Yeah, but they weren't doing hot drinks either, so you could buy a tea or coffee, but they wouldn't do a tea or coffee. Just a bottle of water and a fucking I don't know you know I'm just saying I just normally when you go on EasyJet

or Ryanair you expect you don't get anything but the fucking Nutri-Grain mate I've not seen a Nutri-Grain for about 15 years I've not had a Nutri-Grain

in years yeah I've got a Nutri-Grain a Sunny Delight and a Whisper do you know what on that Rob I took my daughter

to the supermarket yesterday for something to do because I knew it would be air con. Good idea. She was quite up for it. You're a good man. I'm a good man.

You don't see me getting a Greek man to teach her to ride a bike. I'm not going to pay a Greek man to take her to Sainsbury's. Yeah, exactly. I'd do it myself. So we went to Tesco and I just... Because I don't, normally we are an online shop front or a go to the shop on the day, yeah, kind of house. I get overexcited when I do a big shop. I just start buying stuff to see if it tastes like I remembered it.

Like what? What did you get? I had a box of cuppa soups. Really? When was the last you had a cuppa soup? On the hottest day of the fucking year. It was such a surreal thing to have my first cuppa soup in 25 years. That's mental. At 33 degrees. That's never going to cool down.

I think that could maintain temperature for six hours. Yeah, it was incredible. I had to pour it away. I just said, I can't do this. I had a pot noodle the other day and I fucking loved it, Josh. I felt dirty. Do you know what? It feels like we're just

trying to subtly put the adverts in. No, no. I just won't wait for the big fucking Nutri-Grain advert. I didn't even eat it. Still in my bag

from the trip out there. Oh my God. So it was a good holiday? Yeah, well, it was really good. The problem is though, like... Evenings?

Because you've got your daughters in the hotel room so you just sat in on the evenings well no so there was a there was like a little theater thing that park that you mentioned they love the park more than anything else that park and do one oh my god and you get bitten because there's all sand on the bottom you get yeah what's weird about park and holiday was we were in the pool you don't need it but i well they went can we go to the park and i got out of the pool and all right and then i just stood in the park in my swimming trunks topless with the kids and then those other parents turned up like fully dressed like they'd just been for a walk and now i'm just in a park topless and i'm and it's i i felt like i was standing nearer the

pool to be like that i came from the pool the pool. I haven't come here like this. Did you not towel? You must have had a towel, didn't you? No, it was just dripping salt. What, like Daniel Craig getting out of the sea? No, not quite like that. No, and I just thought, this is a bit weird, actually. I'm just stood here in my pants, basically, wet,

watching children climb and swing. But no, we had a brilliant time honestly it was so beautiful it's a lovely i've got reminded how lovely it is just going to europe when it's like a short fly i was like what i've realized is josh and this is the problem when i spend a lot of time with my family and my kids is i am not normal and these are all my children i don't think are you not but i don't know well i don't know your children well enough to know that... I mean, they seem pretty normal, apart from one of them is the fastest woman on Earth.

Well, you know you met me when I first started on the circuit. They've got a lot of energy. Yeah, a lot of energy. And they haven't found an outlet yet. Their outlet is me. What outlet are you hoping they're going to find? Long distance running hours radcliffe mo farah just long yeah but i love them but they're just relentless and i just

and i in that car today i was like i love you so much i've had an amazing i've made these incredible memories i've really enjoyed it like just don't fucking look at me or talk to me. I just can't answer you anymore. I've got nothing in the tank. Is it true you've booked in a tennis lesson for 9am tomorrow? I'll be right, I'll be down there. Tennis lesson. But like, but it is so full on.

Like, because you're with them, you know, when you're in the room with them, you're with them all day and all night. So like literally, you know, and it's great. But everyone does need a bit of time and they're not napping they're not they're not beyond that it's literally 24 so so you didn't you there was no moment when you weren't because we didn't have the kids club to be fair didn't we we had a kids club a couple of um well we went to the beach because they fucking hate the beach kids hate the beach if there's a pool they don't they're not that into the beach are they but i didn't really like the beach either i don't think it's just because it's cooler yeah i liked the beach you can't get as much time out of building a sandcastle as i anticipated on

day one of a seven day holiday do you know what i mean sandcastles are a bit like are we still into them is that still happening the tiktok's a problem. The TikTok generation, right? They don't build sandcastles anymore. Yeah, I know. Are we really into sandcastles? But what's difficult? What I did, though, I've noticed, Josh and Holiday, I end up sitting myself next to families

that are having a worse time than me. Right, yeah. So there was one bloke right lovely fella chatting to him around the pool because i'm quite chatty around the pool you're not are you no i'd rather die what's your opening gambit normally your kids playing with their kid it's different for you because you've still got your baby but when they're like four and six they are just in that pool all day and they end up playing with other kids and you end up just going oh hello you're all right and you're just chatting about just nonsense.

Also as well, you are stood in knee-high water for eight hours at a time, potentially. So sometimes you want to have a chat. And this is one bloke, lovely fella. He had a nine-year-old, a seven-year-old, a four-year-old, seven-month-year-old. No, not for me. So every morning, I made sure I got the beds next to his bed.

Yeah. Because nothing I was going to face was going to be anywhere near what he was facing I can't believe that that is such an intense holiday I know and it was at one point

and then it was always weird because then his boy was in his football playing football in the mornings and afternoons he was like because it's for older kids and then

sometimes the boy was there and then sometimes it was two kids sometimes he was holding a baby and he goes to be honest with you if i'm just left with this seven year old and four year old i've cracked it i was like have you have you it's all relative isn't it mate i'm currently i'm i'm two days away from being sat at a luggage carousel with no children i've cracked it mate oh yeah that's cracked it 45 minutes sat on a troll carousel with no children. I've cracked it, mate. Oh, yeah, that's cracked it. 45 minutes sat on a trolley just waiting. The only problem is when you are there.

So, like, when we arrived, we got up at, like, 3am. Our flight was 6.50, so we got up at, like, 2, 3, really early. We were all a bit confused and befuddled, and we get there, and then we got on the plane. The plane was delayed slightly, then we get there. Then we're in Greece. I'm trying to get the baggage. And I'm stood there.

I've been up. You know, I've had no sleep whatsoever. I had two kids on the plane. And then this older couple, that man and wife, he just went to me. Cheer up, mate. You're on holiday. I said, am I? Now?

In this moment? Life is a series of moments. In this moment, am I on holiday? No. I'm in transit, mate. That's what I am. I'm in fucking transit how's the flights oh they're really good actually it's like it's three hours and they're you know with an ipad three hours six and four i've right i've mentioned it in the book

about that about holidays and stuff but when the kids are six and four honestly it is a complete breeze compared to having like a one-year-old like you had. We had a very different holiday, I think, to you when you went out there. But you're only three years away, so you'll be all right, mate. I'm only three years away, Rob. I'm only three years away. Three years? Do you know what three is? It's 2025, Rob.

What a year, though. What a year that'll be. Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? There'll have been another European Championships by then. There'll be another Olympics. There'll be a general election. Donald Trump will be president again.

Donald Trump might be president again before I... You have a nice holiday. I have a nice holiday. Oh, this happened on arrival. So we got the baggage, right? We got in we got, we not got the baggage, right? We got in the cab, got all the way there, got there about, I can't remember, because it's two hours ahead, three hour flights.

We got there about like 2.30, three o'clock in the afternoon, right? Anyway, so the kids are all over excited. You go in, there's like a big reception area and you sit on this sofa while they're getting your room key sorted, right? Oh, I love that bit. Get off a glass of rose, eh?

Yeah, a glass of fizz, some sort of cheap carver they went yeah that glass of fizz some sort of cheap carver shit but a glass of fizz whatever uh a glass of fizz and then um that was some orange juice for the kids right you know i'm sat there lou's sat next to me the kids are climbing all over us right yeah and lou's trying to hold them i've got my hand on one of them as they're climbing and kicking all excited all they want to do is jump in the pool this bloke's talking to me about laundry or whatever i don't give a fuck about the laundry man anyway he's next to me talking on another chair right um and uh so imagine like imagine a therapist on his on his on his armchair next to like a sofa but i'm on the end of that sofa with two kids climbing and kicking and lou right i'm holding my um glass of fizz

whatever and an orange juice a wild toddler's foot swings around both glasses are kicked right all of it goes over my face like i've been swilled in taoi so you've you've got a buck's fizz on your face basically i've been buck fizzed all over my face someone's buck fizzed on me yeah right i've been i'm covered right and he's like okay he went oh sir are you okay sir I went oh yeah it's okay and I went I'll just carry on and as he's talking to me liquid is dripping

from my nose and then he goes I'll get you some tissue sir so I walked off and Lou went that'd be good wouldn't it about if we can get to the buffet

any time we want between six and seven we don't have to worry about getting dressed up I went excuse me I don't want sympathy, but can we at least acknowledge what's happened to my face? I'm sat there speaking to Andre,

and there is liquid dripping off my nose, and I don't even want to say sorry, but just acknowledge it's happened. I'm a slip hazard. On these shiny... Oh, they are shiny, those floors. Shiny Holland. Why are the floors so shiny when everyone sunshiny Holland why are the floors

so shiny when everyone's so wet what are they doing oh god yeah that well I've got some notes here that was a

that was a the fucking shop's price isn't it it's absolutely unbelievable just whenever you go on holiday because they do it

wherever you go take your own snacks just take a bag full of snacks and it isn't even about the price you just need to get like digestive biscuits that they know and understand yeah not not you need them at the ease digestive little fucking plug another advert i'm slipping in but like you need a normal just a normal fucking biscuit you don't want the greek version all of our adverts are from things no one's eaten since 1997. But you know,

that's what kids like, a fucking Jacob's cream cracker. Some fucking lays. Yeah. Because I've done five. I've got some fucking crocodiles. End up buying the inflatable crocodiles. Yeah, you have to buy the inflatables.

And then they're like, can we bring it home? You're like, of course I fucking can't, mate. Well, we did. I was dry humping them on the balcony trying to get the air out at midnight the crocodile you're just saying yes the inflatable crocodile not not the greek digestive oh this is this is funny as well the cleaners come in and tidied the room you know come and

did the service right and the kids both took teddies and then they were on the floor the teddies so they put the teddies on one on each bed and then my elders come went daddy um i'm not i'm not very happy and i've written a note i thought pardon that's a dear cleaners you've put the teddies on the wrong beds what what they got them the wrong way around yeah but obviously the cleaners got no idea they just put a teddy on a bed but my six-year-old's livid i said said, you can't leave that note. You can't leave that note. No, of course not. They don't want to read it anyway. She translated it in Greek.

She's doing really well at school. I don't know if you get this as well. Did you get rid of the note? What did you do with the note? I just went, no, we don't need to leave a note. Don't worry about that. It doesn't matter. And we just explained, they don't know.

It doesn't matter. And then in the end, to be fair, it was quite sweet. She was doing, um, she started, uh,

she, they were leaving, they left little biscuits on the pillows. And in the end we weren't eating them. And then she was collecting them. And then she left a note saying, dear cleaners, thank you for tying a room.

Please have a biscuit, which was sweet, but they were re-gifting. She was re-gifting. Re-gifting from the cleaners themselves. A biscuit from, yeah, that had been given from the cleaners to us

from what I'd say a stash of probably four million biscuits. Yeah, I reckon. I don't think they're short on them pillow biscuits. This sounds a lot less stressful than Disneyland, should I just say. Oh, mate, a different world. Different. I've come back full of biscuits. We were sleeping.

Like, Lou even, like, kissed me in a sexual way. Oh, really? We don't need to worry about that. But not in America, mate. That does happen in Disney. No, no, no. Don't you worry about that. But, you know, it's a three-hour kids club at the end of the day, aren't there?

Exactly. You've got time to sort of, you know, win her over, put some moves on her. And then listen to a podcast by the swimming pool. Yeah, oh, yeah, always. And then text you about it, bitching. So that's what normally happens. The waitress come over and we said,

oh, you got any sorbet? My kids love mango sorbet. You can't get it many places. It's like a holiday sorbet, isn't it, right? So occasionally you get it now and again, but not very often. Not in East London, Rob. You can't fucking move for the stuff.

Is there a lot of it? Oh, mate, up to our eyeballs in mango sorbet in East London. It's tough in Zone 5, mate. If you're in Waitrose, you've got half a chance, but no chance in Sagebury's. Not recently. Don't know if there's something to do with Brexit or COVID. But anyway, she said,

we've got mango sorbet, strawberry sorbet, or bubblegum sorbet. And then Youngest went, mango, please. And the eldest went, oh, I'm not sure. And then the waitress went, oh, have bubblegum. It's the best flavour. Me and Lou knew. She gonna eat bubble gum flavored sorbet but she sold it so well it's like the dragon's den we just couldn't help it was like yeah we'll get it immediately hated it oh no oh no it was also awkward because lou in that same dinner lou lou you know lou lou's the plightiest person ever, right?

Lou ordered a red wine, okay, and had a glass of it. It was lovely. And then they'd run out. So the waitress said, oh, I've got a really good one. I think you're going to love it. Let me, it was disgusting. It was so like vinegary. But if you're into that, you're into that.

And Lou went. What, if you're into vinegary wine? Yeah, if you're into vinegar, if you likearsen's vinegar like i do the old classic i can't believe you put in another one of the adverts this is genuinely our most profitable episode oh can you imagine the crates of sarsens are going to turn up at our door now anyway so it was quite vinegary and i and lou drunk it and lou looked like she was being sick in her own mouth and lou went to go yeah that's fine and i just went no no lou and she went why don't you try it rob i tried it it was disgusting

so we i went no lou i know you don't want that and then lou said yes sorry it's not very nice but and that woman had recommended it we didn't just like demand it anyway she went oh and luge went oh can i just have that merlot she brought it it was caught right yeah it tasted weird again like old stale yeah but now that's your third one yeah isn't it right well that's your second yeah so we just and i was like yeah that is that is like he's off right so we've had the vinegary double you never get doubled up on dear normally it's one or the other in it right anyway that one's coming cooked what the chance and then we sent it back

and then she brought another one and I said to Lou this could be ox blood and you've got to drink it there's no way we can send it back luckily it tasted alright but I was like you cannot send a third

I think she's played you on the bubble gum I think she's gone we've got some difficult customers here I'll just talk their children into the bubblegum. I think she's gone. We've got some difficult customs here. I'll just talk their children into the bubblegum. What's it called? Sorbet? Bubblegum sorbet. Well, yeah, but then that happened at another restaurant

where it said margarita pizza. Fucking flatbread turned up, didn't it? Big, like, raw mozzarella stuck on the top. They'd love it in East London. My four-year-old from Bromley doesn't, does she? You can't call a flatbread pizza. You've got to say flatbread in it. So he had to send that back.

Did you enjoy the food? I loved it. The food was lovely, to be fair. It was really good. I ate octopus, mate. Oh, how was that? Just, yeah, absolutely fine, but not as nice as chicken

or any other than normal ones. There's a reason it hasn't taken off. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was all right, actually. If there a reason it hasn't taken off. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was all right, actually. If there was nothing else on the menu you'd normally eat, yeah, it was great, October. I was trying to... Oh, this...

So there's that... You know that at the park, there's that swing? There's a swing where basically it's got seats on it that you wrap your legs around like a... You know them zip wire ones they have at the park sometimes? Yeah, yeah. Where you sit on a little sort of discus on a string and you throw them and they slide down, right?

Yeah. At this park, they've got one on like a... It's almost like a roundabout with ropes hanging off it and them little seats. So all the kids sit on it and you spin it round and they hang on. Did you go on that? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we were on it and then it got a bit late in the evening and all the parents, I think, had had a couple of drinks and the kids were swinging around on it. At one point, it was like a wall of death at like a festival. You know the motorbikes that bit later in the evening and never like all the parents i think i had a couple of drinks and the kids were swinging around on it at one point it was like a wall of death like a festival you know the motorbikes that go around in the cage it was like that these kids anyway but then the problem is when one falls off it's fine because they fall onto sand and it's quite low but then what happens is they try and stand up as it's spinning around because

they've jumped off but then if they stand up they're going to get clobbered. At one point, this girl stood up, this four-year-old girl, I didn't know who she was, I jumped on her and pushed her face in the sand. And then dragged her out. And it was not a nice thing to do to a kid, but it was better than her getting kicked in the face. Yeah, yeah.

Did you say that? No, no, she didn't. She just cried and hugged her mum. But I did what I had to do, Josh. They shouldn't be legally allowed to put parks in holiday places you've paid for

to relax in. Yeah, that was hot and it was in the middle of the summer. That weren't good. If it wasn't here, no kid would be going and wishing there was a park.

But the moment it's there, it's in their mind, Rob. Well, I got a bit angry at the kids' club as well, Josh, right? Did you? It was fully booked, okay? But then we it's there, it's in their mind, Rob. Well, I got a bit angry at the kids' club as well, Josh, right? Did you? It was fully booked, OK? But then we sent to reception, oh, is there any spot?

Because their friend was going in, they had booked, so we went, oh, let's ask. We just asked the reception, oh, is there any chance we'd get these two into the kids' club at any point this week in the morning? And they went, oh, yeah, you're booked in for tomorrow morning. And then we went, let me take your number, we'll double-check and then confirm it. it and we had a message from reception saying confirmed

splot at the kids club anyway we go there queue up and uh and we go oh yeah we got these two went oh they're not on the list and i was like oh we oh we've got a message and she went oh the message says the way the message says waiting list i was like well no it doesn't she hadn't even seen at this point i was like well no it doesn't he said confirmed and she went oh yeah well done i'm like no not well done no i haven't done well is that a she went oh yeah no you've done well i thought what do you mean you've done well no i haven't done well i've just rob you've been you've been you out of the role of life for us with romesh tainted it for me could have been me just up there in the glory but like and then i was like okay and then then have been me, just up there, in the glory. But like, and then I was like,

okay, and then she went, no, you just, she went, just wait to the side, and then once everyone's in, if there's space,

they can come in, right? I was like, all right, fair enough. And then these other little kids come in, and their names weren't on the list. She got a new bit of paper,

and they just filled it in, and signed it, and went in. And I was like, well, why can't I have that bit of paper? What's this fucking little Freemasons bit of paper? It was the secret society paper

did you get in yeah they got in it was fine so i felt bad in the end um what do they do at kids club do you reckon so they had like an hour each hour they had a little activity so one was like gardening and then one was like dragon making and they made dragons out of like toilet rolls and different crafts and then they did Zumba and another thing. So little things. And the kids, every morning, I was like, do you want to go in? And they were like, yeah. So in the two mornings that we had it booked.

But if they had said no, I wouldn't have. Because I think. Imagine dropping a kid off tearfully at a kids' club when you're on fucking holiday. People do that, man. Like, I've got no. If people want to send their kids to a kids' club, you know go for it like i would happily like have them all week but if they want to go in and they enjoy it well why not they're enjoying it and you get a bit of a break i think it's a good thing but i could never send them in unhappy and there's some people

were and i just it makes me so it made me so i felt like i just wanted to take them and go why didn't you come with us that looks dodgy yeah that That looks dodgy. Yeah, it would look worse. That's a new story. Come to the park. I'm just here topless. Come to the park. You don't understand. You're talking to the news of the world saying you don't understand. He had a tennis lesson. I didn't agree with the way he was parenting his children,

so I just took them. Yeah, he was topless, pushing kids' faces into the sand. It looks bad in an email. Sure. Are you spending your evenings at kids' entertain then no so basically they had like a on a couple of the nights they have like a kids disco and then some face painting and then one night there's a kid's show at eight o'clock but then other nights it's basically kids eight till nine then 9 30 there's a proper show but we made the 9.30 shows because the kids were too tired.

We sort of just went back to the room and got an early night because we were trying to make sure we didn't get too drunk and slept because that's the danger, isn't it? But the face painting, Josh. My youngest has got a panda bear she loves. Went up to the face painter, asked for a panda. They gave her a black face. What?

They just put loads of blackface paint on her oh my god yeah i i well i cannot put it no you pick her up and she didn't no see i was sat down and they ran over and they just told the person what they wanted and there were about a thousand kids and it was free so they were doing it very quick yeah right but my daughter came back and if she wasn't holding a panda bear i think she would have been asked to leave the resort i can't post a photo of what she looked like one because i don't really post my kids faces but even if i did post my kids faces i couldn't post that because my career would be over yeah imagine if that was the only picture out there of her every time there's a

news of the world story about you know why does keep saying news of the world it hasn't existed in a decade every time there was a the sun on Sunday every time there's a news story about you and your family they'd be using that picture yeah so it was really bad because I was like fair enough obviously with a panda bear

there is black features on the face there's black eyes but you need a bit of the white like I understand my daughter's white so they try to use her natural white yes but it's not white enough to make

it look like a panda bear yeah yeah it looks like some sort of racist chimney sweep it was bad and then I made her carry that panda

the whole evening sounds like you've had a much like more did it change your views on your experience of disneyland no do you know what no it didn't actually because by the end of a week i was bored of just pool really beach beach pool beach there's not loads of parents to do when they're six and four it's just you're just doing the same things every day so i was saying to lou that like i i think i may be like

well i'd want to go somewhere where it is hot and you can go by the pool but there's something else doing the same things every day. So I was saying to Lou that like, I think I may be like, well, I'd want to go somewhere that is hot and you can go by the pool, but there's something else to do. I couldn't do two weeks, a resort type place, maybe a villa. Cause then you can do your own thing and drive off to different places. But I think a week's enough,

maybe 10 days, but maybe 10 days with another family, but just your own family. A week's enough. We went there and the first few days were so knacker. It's been so busy writing a book and things like that, really busy with just end of school plays and sports days and all that kind of stuff.

And so that's summer holidays now, Rob. Is this it? This is summer holidays started. We might have gone a week earlier for a cheaper deal, but let's not get bogged down by that, Josh. Do what's good for you. Do what's good for you. Do what's good for you. So, are you now in the six weeks of summer hauls?

Yeah, so... And have you got an extreme... Has Lou done her timetable again? No, so we haven't done that. We've been a bit more relaxed. We bought a big paddling pool thing for the garden. We're just going to sort of rinse that but try and keep topping up the cold water

when it's 1,000 degrees. Rob, the Turkish family next door have just lit their barbecue and it smells incredible. Oh, my God. I can see it. I mean, I don't even eat meat, but the kebabs, they're making actual kebabs on the barbecue.

I know. Turkish people do do that. They own a Turkish restaurant, Rob. Oh, my God. Get back on the meat, mate. See if they can stick a bit of octopus on there for me. Shall I just tell you, while you were out there, Rob, I got a stomach bug.

Again? It got worse. Oh, that stomach bug escalated? It escalated. So what was it? Well, I don't know. I'm starting to think it's all part of this overall stress and anxiety that I've been feeling for the last month. Yeah, you are mad busy at the

moment and you've got you're still in the proper brutal age of kids as well me and Rose went out for dinner Rob yeah and my stomach had settled down after what I would describe as a whole hour on the toilet from 1am till 2am the night before and he went out for dinner after it was the worst type of stomach bug and I was still hungry. Mate, if there's anything I know about stomach bugs it's don't feed them. But normally they do that for you. They're like, well, I'm not hungry,

but I was fucking starving, mate. So you was up all night with the shit? No, no. For now, I'd say the most... That's the worst I've ever had the shits. Literally. I don't want to be too graphic, but it was, in a way, it was incredible to witness. It's a bit of an honour to be there, to be honest.

Was it by the fins? No, just the bottom end. Okay. It settled then the next day... Was it both ends? No, just the bottom end. Okay. It settled down the next day. Yeah. Enough for us to go out to dinner, right? Yeah, okay. We were in the restaurant.

Had you eaten in the day? I'd picked at something. What are you like? We were in the restaurant. Yeah? An hour 15. I had six shits. It was...

I just... Every time I sat back down, I'd literally... You had picky shits? You had picky bits in the day and then picky shits at dinner? It was like tapas. But it was like... It was unbelievable. So what's Rose...

So how long was you... What's Rose just on the phone while you're waiting? Well she's just eating her meal and every five minutes I leave and then I leave for five minutes I come back for ten minutes and I leave for another five minutes. It must have looked insane to the other diners. You look like you're a cokehead mate here he is. No one's doing that much

coke. Go for another. And then eating their dinner. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was probably saying to stuff to Rose, like, I'm surprised I'm hungry. People are thinking... Oh, God, so that was... That was my...

Yeah, that was it, basically. That was the update I've got. Oh, I failed to get to a 40th birthday party. Because of your bum? No, no, this was dinner. This was a different... So on Saturday, we had two 40th birthday parties. One in Barnes, which is southwest London.

Barnes is posh. And one in Bethnal Green, which is near my house. Oh, lovely. Barnes, you never get into Barnes, mate. Well, I thought I'll do the Barnes one early doors. I'll turn up early, do the first hour so I'm visible. Very good. Then boot it to Bethnal Green. Yeah. Are these evening? Yeah. So I was like so I'm visible. Very good. Then boot it to Bethnal Green.

Yeah. Are these evening? Yeah. So I was like, I'll get there for seven. So it was too far. It was too far by. It's so far. But I put it into Uber.

Yeah. 35 quid. Job done. Okay. Here we go. That's not the end of the world. Just a £70 round trip? No, but I was like like I'll get the train back

Rob ok once it's cooled down a bit Uber doesn't come can't get a taxi for love nor money Uber's there's no Uber's

you're better off with a black cab these days yeah but I couldn't get a black cab if it was too far it would have been

about 200 quid they don't pick me up to go south of the river anymore I keep having arguments with them it's so difficult getting a cab so half an hour to get in an uber i'm already late i'm already

thinking i've got a maximum of 45 minutes here barnes is a long old way isn't it part of me there rob yeah a bit like you with the old carousel little bit of alone time so is it just you no no no rose she was going straight to the betnal Green one. And you're meeting at... Okay, so you've got babysitters. You're... So, yeah. Actually, it's only 25 minutes into Barnes, so not too bad. No, it's not.

Oh, no. I've done that from Victoria. You're in Victoria Park. Jesus. Yeah. Well, put in Olympic Studios in Barnes, Rob, because that's what I did. Yeah.

And then when I was halfway down the Euston Road, I thought, this doesn't feel like the right direction to Barnes. And I'd put in the Olympic Studios in Neasden, North West London. Oh, no, Josh. Why have you done that? And so then I was like, I could go to Barnes. That's so far.

Yeah. So basically, I then had to make a call on whether I was going to go to Barnes for 10 minutes. Because it's an hour to Barnes anyway. Yeah. So from yours, it's an hour to Barness but you were going via kneesden yeah but i realized about 20 minutes from kneesden but i was still way out of the way for barns but kneesden's about 30 did you go you got to go around the north circular for that you were driving towards no no no he rooted him down the down the euston road fair some reason. Right, okay, fair enough. So then I just had to... That's quite a London-centric chat here. Yeah, sorry, sorry.

But either way, the point is, I failed to get to there. You failed to get to there. I turned around and got to Bethnal Green, which is ten minutes from my house. Still in a cab. Still in a cab, made him turn around. Got to Bethnal Green ten minutes from my house. Yeah.

All in, I was in an Uber for an hour forty five no you prick and I hadn't gone anywhere how much was that it was seventy quid absolute disaster oh my

you didn't even go anywhere you just drove to halfway to Neeson and turned back around and went back to your house. Yeah, for 70 quid. Were they a close friend in Barnes?

Do you want to give them a shout out? I got them a present, so I'm going to have to send them that. Send it to Uber, mate. Another 70. Send it to Neasden. Your present's in Neasden, mate. I left it in a bin. That is...

Oh, I forgot to tell you this as well, Josh. Talking about sitting near people that make your holiday better. We were... This was by accident your holiday better. We were, this was by accident, this one, we just sat by the beach and then there was a kid playing, like, sort of like,

same age as my kids in the sand and then two parents and then I heard one of them was digging a sand castle ferociously, the lady, the mum, fucking really like jabbing at it, right? And I thought, oh, if they had a barney

and then she just looked up at her eyes and went I'm really not comfortable about this and I was like oh god what's going on and then he went well she's 14 she's going to start going on dates at some point they were in the middle of their 14 year old daughter going on there for her first

date. What on holiday? With a boy she met on holiday and they were meeting at like the little bar for a coca-cola oh my god and they were absolutely petrified like just sweat dripping off them right and i was like oh this is great then i thought this is gonna be me soon it's only another seven years yeah until my daughter's the same age as his 14 year old oh my word so then i started feeling sorry for him so that i was like look and the poor dad kept on craning his neck around to try and see if he could see him oh no because they were just at the bar was it about literally about probably two o'clock in the afternoon just by the pool bar sort of thing so it's really like if you wanted

your you know it's a very safe environment exactly so i said do you want me to go and walk through the bar to see if i can see her and see him with him you love talking to fucking strangers on the first date chipping into their date seeing if they're all right i went look will it put your mind at ease then you would actually anyway actually. Well, if TV's Rob Beckett walks through the date. Hello, Mike. Got a little shoulder cam.

Welcome to your first date. Instead of going dating, I'll commentate on it if you want from the side. I'll commentate on it. Anyway, but I don't think, to be honest, they didn't even

Recognise me off the telly Or mention the telly They were in their own Too busy passion Ah They're in their No not the teenagers The parents

They're in their own hell Anyway So I walked through the bar Weren't there No Oh no You've got to deliver bad news What have they done

Have they given you a photo of her So you can identify No I saw her go off I saw her go off. I saw her go off. Yeah. And I was like, she's not there. And then he was like, dad was like, fuck, like that. And then he whipped out.

And I haven't even heard of this before. He whipped out. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, brother. No, he whipped out. It's called some sort of apps or like X360. So you can find her phone? Yeah.

Or something like that. It's basically just like a tracking app. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know where they are anyway he went oh no i've just i've just he went i've just tracked it and she's up at the there's another pool bar but a higher bit of it yeah she's just up there it's fine i don't remember that and then uh i went all right no worries and he sort of tracked it it wasn't a bit quiet then i went off with the kids and i was on the peddler with the kids and doing all that

and then i come back and lou was still there i said any update because i get i love a gossip yeah any update anyway anyway and there weren't any and then i come back and lou was still there i said any update because i get i love a gossip yeah any update anyway anyway and there weren't any and then she come he'd come back with this fucking app shit he went nowhere near that no it's not accurate enough it's not accurate enough because he went where it said she was so either she circumvented it or it weren't accurate or the thing dropped out but um anyway later on she'd come back and they'd she'd been on the date and then she'd come back but it was quite quite a fun bit of drama but it sort of panicked me a bit about oh god i'm dreading our kids dreading imagine how stressed you'd be josh on holiday your youngest daughter's on her first day at 14

you would be tapping cold water on your neck flapping your hands together rocking back and forward oh my god but it is nice to you know think that that would be a bit of alone time when i could just go to the bar well we had drink just drink to cope oh that would be the worst i can't oh god i don't want to think as a as a tv comedian when you're you're you're the good thing is i won't be by then we're not going around hall and pace's house good lads by the way very funny but they're not on telly at the moment that's what I'm trying to say live near me actually

in case one of them chins me no no no I think one of them Harold or Pace lives near me I don't want him

chinning me in the ball anyway yeah so that was my holiday Josh and it feels better for sharing it with you and the listeners it was a genuine pleasure

to hear about it i'm glad you had a good time you feel more energized than the last one yeah no do you know what we had loads of sleep i feel really excited uh to be back to working and stuff and it was a really good break and it was very different to disney i absolutely love disney but you do sort of need a bit of chill time this holiday it actually worked out quite well because i booked this holiday for june 2020 did you so this has been the one that's been pushed back and back and back oh that's Actually, it worked out quite well because I booked this holiday for June 2020. Did you? So this has been the one that's been pushed back and back and back. Oh, that is good.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, no, it was really good. And we do a small business shout-out, and then we're back on the firm again now, with episodes. Oh, this might be quite good for the hot weather because this will be going out on the hottest day ever in the UK. This is from Abby. Please can you do a shout-out for my cousins?

They have just opened a giant slip-and-slide. Monster Slip-and-Slide in Bude, Cornwall. Oh, very nice. Bude, North Coast. Visit monsterslipandslide.com. As we say, this could just be two blokes with a load of tarpaulin. Yeah, but you know. Do your due diligence.

We're not doing it. There's a safety video on the website. It should be fine. But as ever, do your own due diligence. Oh, this looks good. Oh, it's a bit long, that one. Right. Hey there.

Love, love, love your podcast. That's a bit of an insight of how to get your small business shout out read out. Make sure it's short because Josh won't bother. Six paragraphs. You've got to be your small business shout-out read out. Make sure it's short, because Josh won't bother. Six paragraphs. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Oh, fuck off, six paragraphs. Small business. Fucking small paragraphs, mate.

Hey there. Love, love, love your podcast. It's a welcome distraction to all the nasties in the world right now, and the kids. Please can you give our small business a shout-out? My sister and I run Purely Organised. We come to homes and declutter in organised rooms. Oh, I need this leaving your home fully transformed

we're both mums and understand how difficult it is to find time to keep on top of your home and it's often the first thing to get dropped when we're busy, preach so whether you need a hand decluttering toys Boris when he resigned he went then the breaks then the breaks, so whether you need a hand

decluttering toys, clothes, kitchen bins, bits, not bins, et cetera, or make your home look super organised, www.purelyorganised.com. It's even two paragraphs here and I've... I don't think you give it the full sell there, Josh. I don't know what that business does after that. They're declutterers. They're declutterers.

It's Marie Kondo, isn't it? www.purelyorganised.com. She's not a small business. She's got a Netflix show. It's Beth and Meg isn't it www.purelyorganised she's not a small business she's got a Netflix show it's Beth and Meg Beth and Meg www.purelyorganised.co.uk we're back on Friday

with a great guest yes we are and also I would like to add I absolutely love my girls and my wife Louise we had an amazing holiday some brilliant memories

but when you do get back after a delayed bag and being stuck on the M25, tempers will flare. But I just want to know, I absolutely loved it and it was a brilliant holiday. No, I think you sound very reasonable considering.

Yeah, that was great. But yeah, we'll see you on Friday. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye.