Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S05 EP31: Sideways Like A Crab

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and, of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because, let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Teddy, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Willicam? Josh Willicam. Very good. Yeah, I think that was very good, yeah.

Solid. Hi, Rob and Josh, this is our son Teddy saying your names although Josh's surname sounds more like Josh Willicam I hadn't noticed that but fair enough if you want to criticise him Teddy is four very nearly five both me and my husband absolutely love the pod loyal listeners thanks for being relatable and super sexy

Tiff and Dan from South Wales but originally Tamworth Kent I was going to say thorough actually that would have been good do we have an unbalanced amount of people in the southeast of london or or are they just really good at writing in um i think you so loved in the area of kent rob i'd say i've got a good i've got a good following in essex and kent yeah and york weirdly glasgow and

liverpool i think i need to do work there. I still think I'm too much of a cockney wanker. Rob, selling tickets in Liverpool. I'm going to ask Kevin Bridges if I can do his tour support for a bit, which really at this stage of my career would be a step down. Nothing wrong with doing support because it's a great gig and I did loads of support. But it gets to the point where you can't really support someone

when you're doing your own tours. But I think maybe if Kevin Brid bridges let me have a go i think lou might be annoyed rob i i i think if you said to lou i'm having a year off doing my own tour but i'm going out on tour to support kevin bridges look i think she'd be well within her rights it's 100 quid a gig and the train's only 90 quid. So we're 10 quid up. What do you think? I remember doing a gig at Skipton Mart Theatre. Yeah. Yeah, which is an astonishing gig,

because during the week it is a cattle market, and at the weekend they put in seats and it becomes a comedy tour venue. Yes. I'd say the smell is more from the week than from the weekend. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's only so much spilt magnets can cover up the smell of cow shit. Yeah.

As you perform to these people that can't even believe they're there. And it's not like this is like a regular occurrence. It's almost they get shuffled in going, I didn't know this was here. Yeah, of course. Everyone in there is going, why are we here? How has this happened? Yeah. Talking of the Skipton Cattle Market, if you do go onto it,

and it doesn't, at no point on the website does it make it clear that it's a cattle market. It says stand-up, and it says people that have been on before. So it's got my picture there. Yeah. Sarah Millican. Yeah. And guess who else?

Romesh. Dave Spikey. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I didn't mind the gig. I enjoyed the gig. My main memory is staying in a hotel where they didn't have breakfast. So they just left a bag,

a bag of breakfast stuff at your door. Have you ever had this? A breakfast bag. Oh, they do an event called crafts in the pen. So you can do Christmas crafts with the kids. Oh, my word. Anyway, it is a good gig.

It doesn't smell that much of cow poo. It's a cool vid. I would go. It's not dirty. They clean it all. They get a few days it comes out with a jet wash beforehand. But it's a good gig. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

But I didn't expect to be in a cow cattle market. No. But enough of this, Rob. Yes. How's parenting? How's parenting? Yes. Should I tell you about my stag do?

Yeah, let's hear about your stag do. And parenting-wise, I'm in Dubai. I had to work out here. So I thought I'd bring Lou and the kids out as well. So I doubled up. So I'm half working. Lou had to fly on her own. And we can talk all about that in a minute

because I want to hear about the stag dip. You don't sound well. No, it was a hell of a stag. It was a hell of a stag, Rob. Well, you sent me a photo of someone with the paramedics. So I'm not going to name names because I don't know how you pass this anecdote off to your wife without it sounding terrible. So I don't know if he's told her. Right. So he's married and it's a man.

Okay, we're getting to the case. But one of the people was so hungover that he called an ambulance. Do you know what? I respect that. I've thought about it. But he genuinely thought, this is it, I'm dying. I'm dying. And he went back to the hotel.

He was in his hotel room so where was you what time of day with this where was you out drinking again so i'd gone no we'd gone out to um to walk up the belfry in the center of bruges for our wholesome morning activity oh that is a terrible that is awful to do hungover well luckily they didn't have any slots so we just went to the pub right i bet the relief and the stag thank god because if i'd been up a belfry because my phone then rang what the fuck's a belfry it's like a church spy right that overlooks the whole of the city right okay it's number one do you know what i'm so bored of being up high on holiday. Well, yeah, that's because you're in Dubai. I bet you've been up the Burj Khalifa.

No, but I think we spoke about this before. It's pointless. You know what Bruges looked like. You flew over it from really high. So why are you getting lower? No, we didn't. No, we got the Eurostar. Right, okay.

I take it all back. Yeah. Anyway. So then we go and we're like, we're having a drink in the town square at about quarter past 12. And my phone rings and it's one of the other people's names who has still not surfaced from the hotel. Well, he's left and then he's gone back.

Yeah. And then it's not his voice. And they say, is that Josh? I'm like, sorry, what's going on? And it's someone from the hotel to say that they've called an ambulance. Oh, no. And you're in charge of the stag. So it your responsibility you're the captain of the ship at one point everyone was like should we all go back i'm like i don't think that's the right thing to do i don't

think 16 people showing up in the hotel for you it's going to be a helpful situation but they might have to call more ambulances imagine if i'd been up the belfry rob 350 steps in the air i i've been up one of them belfries one in krakow and it that i'll tell you what that because they're so old they're slippy steps as well it's hard work i did a rope on a chain there would have been a moral conundrum what if i'd got that call when i was 20 steps from the top would i have gone straight back to the hotel no you would have gone top i had a quick look quick photo down yeah so you went back on your own to the hotel no ellis came with me right we're slowly working it out yeah or is that a bluff okay nice work all right okay he's married he's not ellis

or josh okay that's 16 that's 16 people that's 14 options we've got now yeah so uh we went back 16 people, so that's 14 options we've got now. Yeah, so we went back and he was lying on the sofa in reception with a wet flannel on his forehead that they'd given him. The paramedics hadn't yet shown up. I couldn't believe it.

I'd say... This is pathetic. I was panicked, because obviously you've been called back by someone saying we've had to call an ambulance. So you're panicked, panicked. I'd say within 15 seconds of? Well, I was panicked, because obviously you've been called back by someone saying we've had to call an ambulance. So you're panicked, panicked. I'd say within 15 seconds of seeing him, I thought, this is fine. This is totally fine. He had been on his bathroom floor.

You know when you lie on the bathroom floor because it's nice and cold when you hang over? Yes. But not for about 20 years So he was lying on the bathroom floor On the cold tiles And he said he got pins and needles in his face And

Sorry It's fine because I know he's okay Yeah it's all fine And then he got He's fine because I know he's okay. Yeah, it's all fine. And then he got pins and needles in his arms. And he said his hands just went into the crab position. He couldn't move them. He started to panic.

Anyway, he then went downstairs. How? Sideways. Walked like an Egyptian. Walked like an Egyptian. He walked into reception, he said. Yeah. Hospital, hospital, ambulance, ambulance.

I drunk at the wrong point, sorry. Yeah. And so then they called an ambulance, looked after him. The ambulance showed up when we were there. Two paramedics. They gave him one of those masks with the bag on it that you just breathe in and out of. Like an oxygen one. Like an oxygen mask.

Yeah. He basically was... I mean, it's great for our future. He was basically having a panic attack because he was so hungover. Right, okay. Okay, fair enough. Bless him. Because he couldn't regulate his breathing.

Right, and that's what he told me. Yeah, okay. I shouldn't be laughing that much, but it is quite funny, isn't it? He saw the funny side very quickly. Also, I know who it is, right? I've deduced it, and it's not a surprise. Right, yeah. Okay, yeah.

I think he's... I'd have him down as someone who would, like, panic a bit. And so we got a photo of him with the paramedic. The paramedics were a great laugh. We'll have to get him on the podcast. I'll be honest with you. Once on a stag do someone's called a paramedic an ambulance because the hangover's so bad it really is everything else

is in the shade after that point do you know what i mean that's your big moment that's the thing nothing yeah that's good but that's the headline from the trip that's the headline from the after that anything else that happens really after in the following day is a small fry compared to the man who called the paramedic with a hangover. So how long were the paramedics there for? 15 minutes. I thought you'd called the paramedics at one point because you half mentioned this on text

and I said to Lou and Lou went, fucking hell, Josh loves the hospital. I just thought you'd called him. He was on a stag day last night. He has to seek medical attention for people he's looking after. No, I hadn't called them. But they were lovely.

Did you do his temperature? So apart from that, how else was the stag? How did you behave did you get drunk or over excited I was really bad on Friday night

well I was in bed by half ten what I'd say is that's good what I'd say is you it's quite really busy and stressful

that lead up to the book launch stuff there's people wanting a lot from you and you're everywhere and putting on your I'd built up a lot to it Rob

I'd built up a lot you was really looking forward to it I did chug to the rose You was really looking forward to it. I did show to Rose, I'm probably not going to drink on the Eurostar. That was a lie to myself. That was a lie to myself.

What time did you get on the train? 11. But we had a pint at St Pancras. Yeah, you've got to have a pint on the first start of a stag. Yeah, and then we drunk on the train. And then you get there, and the beer is 8%, Rob. So there's a round of 8% beers, and then just two of them, and then you're absolutely south of the border, really.

Where, Germany? I bumped into a stranger in McDonald's the next morning. And he was like, you all right, Josh? And I was like, you all right? And he said, yeah. I actually rescued you a bit last night. You just stood in the street like a zombie. And I took you in and put you on a chair.

I was like, oh, my God. So you met that bloke last night? No, I just bumped into him in McDonald's. It's a small town, so he just saw me the next morning. Right, okay, and he sorted you out the night before. You all stood there like you were on Spice. Yeah. Was it good, though?

It was fun. We didn't go up the Belfry because of that. No, that's fine. And then we were going to go on a boat trip. That was the other wholesome activity, but we had to abandon that because my friend had called a paramedic. So that meant that we just had to go straight to lunch. So activities were 8% beer and medical attention. Medical attention, yeah, was the activity.

Most people get a stripper, he gets a paramedic. It's a Josh Willicam run stag. Exactly, it's very on brand, Rob. If anyone's getting stripped, it's you with big scissors to get to the body. Very on brand. And how about the actual stag? Did Tom Crane get... Yeah, he did well. He did really well. We did Mr and Mrs. That was fun.

Yeah. Lots of fun to be had. It was really fun. Was it two nights? Two nights. And then how was it getting back to sort the kids out because obviously roses had the kids yeah i wasn't i didn't i didn't get a hero's welcome i'd say on return and i was anticipating that because i don't think i gave her a hero's welcome after she'd been on the hen you've always got to give them a hero's welcome and go don't like get let them come in and go like no no you must be tired it's tiring it is tiring have a lie down i'll deal with them till bedtime yeah then you've got it give them a hero's welcome. I go, don't let them come in and go, no, no, no. You must be tired. It's tiring.

It is tiring. Have a lie down. I'll deal with them until bedtime. Then you've got it in the back pocket next time. Yeah. It shouldn't be a trade-off, but it really is, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. It's life, isn't it, Rob?

I remember that once I picked Lou up from the station. She'd been to London and stayed overnight with her friends. And then she'd stayed shopping and lunch all day. I picked her up at six and she got in the car. I was like, you all right? She went, yeah. Yawned. I went, I'm six and she got in the car. I was like, you all right? Like that. She went, yeah. Yawned. I went, oh, I'm tired. And I went, stop talking.

Even if you are, just got to keep that to yourself, mate. You've had lunch. That's what you did today. You ate lunch. It's difficult, isn't it? Because the problem with the going away for the stag, like if you both go away, like when we went to Glastonbury,

you both come back, it's not an unbalanced thing. Do you know what I mean? You're in it together. You're in it together. But when you come back and the other one's been parenting all weekend. So when did you get back?

Sunday? 5pm Sunday. Oh, that is a dark time, isn't it? It wasn't ideal. And then did you have to do bath and bedtime or did Rose do it? We both did it. But you weren't too bad Sunday.

You went hard on the Friday. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And the thing about going hard enough to go to bed at 10.30 is you've actually had quite a good sleep. Well, that's why I did a Joe Swashy stag. Go hard at lunchtime in bed by half ten because no one's getting up before ten.

That is a 12-hour window to sleep and rest. Yeah, exactly. For, you like to call, three nights sleep two months ago. It was a fun stag day. So tell me about your week. When they're six and four, they fly it with iPads or whatever. We've got fires, if whatever they're called. She said it actually wasn't too bad.

It's more the, it's more a hassle at the airport and after, but what they do do in Dubai, which I didn't realise, you can book like a meet and greet service where as you get off the plane, and I don't know how much it was, I think it was about 40 or 50 quid, which isn't cheap, but someone met Lou as she got off the

plane and then walked her through immigration and like pushed all the bags and then walked her through immigration and, like, pushed all the bags and then went to the carousel, helped Lou get the bags and the thing, and then Lou could hold the girl's hands and then he pushed all the bags to the transfer, which you don't really need if... There's two of you.

Well, what happened was I booked by accident for me as well. What? Oh, no, Rob. Oh by accident for me as well. What? Oh no, Rob. Oh no. Oh no. So you had a helping hand on your own? Yeah, so it was perfect for Lou.

Because if you arrive on your own with two little kids, someone turns up and they have her name on the sign and then that way she's not trying to look after the kids.

Because if you need to go wee, the kids can need a wee. There's no one to watch the bags. You don't want to leave your bag, blah, blah, blah. So it worked really well and they got her to the sign, and then that way she's not trying to look after the kids. Because if you need to go wee, the kids can need a wee. There's no one to watch the bags. You don't want to leave your bag, blah, blah, blah. So it worked really well, and they got her to the transfer, put all the bags in the boot while Lou sorted out the kids. So it's basically someone helped with the bag. Anyway, but I did it.

Because I came on the night flight after working. And I got there, and it was all tight. And I was like, I saw the board. I was like, oh, no. So I didn't have any bags. It was just me and my backpack. Oh, my God. And then I had one hold luggage. i'm just walking along with this bloke i'm like you're right he's like yep and i'm just walking with him shows me the immigration fingers that go through

there then we're just at the carousel and then i go to pick the bag up then he picks out i was like no i'll get it and then also i packed i packed my bag drunk the night before and I couldn't remember what was in it or what bag it was. And it went past me twice. And he went, give me the ticket thing. He had to read. It's actually quite invaluable because I would have stood there for hours.

My bag went past me twice. And it was so awkward. It was so, and I was like, oh, I've just done the booking wrong. It was so, it's so embarrassing. Were you honest with him about it? Like, did you say, I didn't mean to book you? Yeah, but then that's sort of like, I'm playing games with him.

I didn't mean to book you, but now I've got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just really, what was I, because that's what you're meant to do with that information, leave? Yeah. I'm not going to get a refund at that point. He's already waited. Yeah, so that was a bit embarrassing.

That is embarrassing. I was like, I'm going to go to the toilet. And he was like, okay. And he just waited for me at the toilet. He didn't. No, he didn't. You're coming with me. Got to get my money's worth out of this guy.

I'm going to go to the toilet. Come on. Come on. But yeah, it's been fun out here. It's lovely. Lovely for the kids. We did the swimming pool. You know I said, when they're six and four,

it's actually fine, the swimming pool. Because they said when they're six and four it's actually fine the swimming pool because they can sort of i take that back so what's happened now is they've become confident swimmers josh which just involves them jumping on me nearly knocking me out and yeah and then what they'll do is they'll go underwater for a swim so that they are good swimmers but i couldn't leave them in the pool on their own they're six and four like you can't leave them in on their own but what they'll do is they'll go underwater but swim like five breaststrokes and then you literally can't find when they pop up about six meters away oh my god and i'm like come back they're really good they're really good at swimming they're really confident swimmers and it's so hot here that you basically they're in the pool all the day all day so they're just getting

better and better each day. Yeah. They've been doing pranks. So anyway, one of them was just bobbing around in the water and I sort of picked her up and, you okay? And then she went, and then it turns out they're pretending to drown. Oh my God. Oh God. To make me stressed.

Oh mate. And then one of them come over and went, she's banged her head and she's bleeding. And she was like under the towel. I was like, oh my God, I rung over. And I was like, what's wrong? What's wrong? I picked the towel up. And the little one went, prance you.

Oh my God. That is not an acceptable prank. I know. I don't know if they've been watching something, but they keep saying these awful things. I tell you what, Rob. Prance you. I've got to sort that out.

It's difficult to tell them off for pranking as well, because they think it's funny. So you're really changing the tone do you know what i mean to go yeah but she's screaming this is serious yeah i know but that's a difficult kind of gear shift isn't it yeah but also you've like we're in this pool for like two more days now we've been a few days we're in it for two more days i'm not i don't think i want to really draw a line in the sand on water-based pranks considering the next time they're going to go swimming is probably next april yeah yeah is it all you want to die on it's just a fun little holiday thing that you hope will die off or am i am i whipping out the timeout step every time they pretend to crack their head um so um but yeah But, you know, they keep going, Pranked you.

And I'm like, you little shit. And also now, because they, like, probably want to swim in the deep end, I've got to be in there with them. Yeah. And, like, I am so burnt. I can't get the cream on my head and shoulders quick enough. Like, because it's so hot.

So I'll get in there and, like, I'd say my shoulders and head are puce red, bottom half as white as a boat. Like bright white. I've been putting 50 on my face and shoulders, but I just can't keep up with the water and sweat. But I might have to put an hat on and one of them dad T-shirts. Yeah, you're going to... Because I'm in there all day.

T-shirt in the pool. Yeah, but I'm in there all day mean is lou not part of the pool rotations louie's doing a fair shift to be honest however the ufc was on it on out here and i went over to do the ufc in abu dhabi yeah right which is an hour drive away okay yeah so when you went over to do the ufc you weren't fighting a bit of. A bit of work. I had to fight this Russian geezer. No, I wasn't fighting. I'd say that's, if you had had a UFC fight, I'd say that's probably what we'd lead the podcast with.

As opposed to your burnt shoulders in the swimming pool. By the way, I also did a UFC fight. I was landing the octagon going, pranked you. Didn't really hurt myself. Pranked you. Yeah, so I went out and there's going, pranked you. I didn't really hurt myself. Pranked you. Yeah, so I went out and there's been lots of football on. So I've been going to watch the football occasionally. And I went to watch UFC on Saturday.

So Lou had the kids for the evening. So the next day, Lou was going to go out and do something like with her friend. But in the end, she ended up just sitting around the pool. But every other day she sort of got involved because that was her day to chill she and i respect it actually was like nope you had the ufc i'm not getting in the pool and she just laid by the pool all day and at one point i had thought because there was this i've got you've got some friends out here and their kids are in the pool and they had babysat for us to go out for dinner for our anniversary meal

and went out for dinner so i was like why don't you sit there and have a couple of hours because you you know trading off child care i had all four of them in the pool josh at one point it was fucking better have you ever tried to how do these people with four children cope it was men's like they would jump and also i had ranging from like four to like eight so the eight-year-old's basically better swimmer than me, but she's launching everywhere, trying to keep up with her. There's one that can sort of swim, but is still wearing a life vest. My two that can swim, but occasionally will hold on to me because they're going under.

And it was mental. And then one of our friend's kids got out of the pool and went to the bed to like get something. I went to Lou, Lou, do you mind watching them when they're out of the water? I know it was a day off of kids. I went, do you mind watching them when they're out of the water? I know it was a day off of kids. I went, do you mind watching them when they're out of the water? And she went, well, how will I know when they've got out?

I was like, well, how the fuck am I supposed to watch them? I can't do land and sea. Even the emergency services split that up. But, yeah, that was brutal. But then the UFC was worth it, though. But it was, oh, mate. So we went to Abu Dhabi, an hour away from Dubai, got tickets to go to the UFC.

So the UFC's, like, fighting in an octagon, right? Yeah, MMA fighting based in America. But there's a lot of Middle Eastern and Russian and different fighters. It's brutal, isn't it? It is really brutal, yeah. So it's like boxing, but you're out of kick and elbow and there's little, it's really a brutal thing. And I've never been before.

And so I was doing a bit of work out here and then I was doing a little bit of work with the UFC. So I went to watch it as well. So it was sort of half work half, but I can't tell Lou that's work, even though it was a bit. Yeah. Anyway, we got to the arena,

right? Hour away, Abu Dhabi, get out, get the tickets, go to go in PCR, please. Pardon?

What? Oh no. PCR test. What is this 2021 i know i mean so i went what and i went let's just go in a pub and sort this out went to go in a bar pcr pardon you cannot enter a public space in abu dhabi without a pcr test from at least 30 days away so you queue up and get a pcr test yeah so you're queuing up so there's about we're really early so it's fun there test? Yeah, so you're queuing up. So there's about, we're really early, so that's fine. But there's about 100 people, well, 50 people queuing up. So now this is the most high pressure PCR I've ever had in my life. Because I don't know if I've got COVID or not.

Because your then option is between UFC or isolating for the rest of your holiday. Yes! Like, you're suddenly like, wait a minute. I've just, I've put my whole holiday in jeopardy without realising it. Yeah. So we're queuing up and I'm like, it's either the best news of all time or the worst news of all time. Yeah, yeah.

Isn't it? But negative, we're into the UFC, not a problem. Anyway, queue up, do it. All three of us are negative. That was one of the biggest buzzes. Imagine if one of you hadn't been. Imagine. I think we'd have to go home and isolate for 24

hours because of close proximity. Oh my word. Anyway, the stress. We queued up, got a PCR. Negative. Got in the arena. Now, Josh, I go to the boxing. I'm from South East London. I've sort of growing up moved in circles with I'd say some hard looking

blokes, right? Maybe more so than your average sort of... Yeah, it's why you're so hard yourself. You have to look hard yourself. Well, no, it's why I'm so good at avoiding trouble and spotting it and running away quickly. Basically, when you grow up where I grew up, you're either hard or you're very good at finding out

when it's going to kick off and leaving. But when I went to the arena, I have never seen so many hard looking bastards in my life a lot of rock just absolute units right we get in yeah we've got our tickets and basically there's a lot of local as a couple of fighters was a guy from dubai fighting on the undercard so it's rammed full of locals rammed full of people that have traveled in a few English as well but not many get in go to find our seats we find them three massive blokes

and I go oh no no no I think you're in our seats what sat in your seat oh you didn't did you I went what have I got to do to stand up at the back

I went yep that's what I do I think you're in our seats and he went no we're not oh god and I went ok

and just walked off oh no Rob and then me and my two mates just at the back trying to work out what to do. Could you say, could you tell me which seats you were meant to be in and then we'll sit in them? I'm happy to have our seats.

I'm happy to be your bitch, but can you just let us know where I can go and be pathetic and sit down rather than sit at the back? There'll be three empty seats nearer the back that you've obviously turned down. So anyway, we went to the toilet and I was like, and then we just went, look, we've just got to go in and then tell them and then find one of the security people there to move them right anyway snitched anyway we get back two of them had left

to go and get drinks or just i don't know where don't know where so two of us sit down and we said to everyone you're that you're in our seat went oh what and he went oh okay uh and he was like the smaller one okay He went, okay. And then he just walked. And there was a seat in front of us. And he just jumped over the seat and sat there. Oh, my God. This guy doesn't give a fucking shit, does he?

And we were there. Just three little skinny little, well, not skinny, but compared to them, we were skinny. Little weedy, three little weedy English little white with our shorts on little white legs just sat there and i we just said we are not moving we're gonna sit down for the entire time and then there was just people it was just carnage we're basically just chancing their arm and just get into the front and waiting for someone to move them on and then luckily some older people come and sat near us that had tickets and then moved them along but i thought there was gonna be fights in the

crowd but anyway it was so funny i felt so pathetic that bigger boys the bigger boys are taking that seat i wouldn't i there's no way i i respect you for going back to your seats we yeah but we had we had to leave and do a little bit of a we all had a vodka red bull and just had a chat i was like right we're gonna go back in and just say because they are our seats it's rude what they're doing it's actually not you know it's rude what they're doing. It's actually not acceptable. It's actually not acceptable. I've seen there's some security guards, so we can just tell them, and they'll move them for us.

But luckily, we didn't have to have a confrontation. Did you do the talking, Rob? I did some of the talking. Another guy did a bit more talking. But it was fine. But it was carnage. Basically, there's such big UFC fans out here. It only comes once every year. And they had a local guy on that won, and he was an underdog. And it was just, it was carnage. But basically, there's such big UFC fans out here. It only comes once every year.

And they had a local guy on that won, and he was an underdog. And it was mental in there. And so it was like a proper, like, it felt, the closest atmosphere was the final of the Euros when everyone just bunked in. That's what it felt like. But it was unbelievable. It was an unbelievable event.

One of the worst days in British sporting history. Yeah, but. The closest I can compare it to is that thing that brought shame on our nation. But once the security come in, they sorted all the tickets out and sent everyone to the back. It's just because we got there early. That normally happens in boxing. When you get there early, people go to the front and come back.

But UFC was absolutely unbelievable. I'm definitely going to go again. But I was quite scared, a bit scared. But then we didn't get back until three in the morning, right? Oh, my God. And then, so, we were hungry because we hadn't had dinner. And then I ordered, they've got Deliveroo. I ordered, like, a KFC and Deliveroo, right?

Yeah. And normally they've been really late. And I ordered it to come, like, ten past two in the morning. To the hotel? Yeah. Anyway, I've ordered it. And we got held up in traffic. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. then oh no oh no what if what if what if he gets there before though he'll go into reception they'll ring lou i was like oh my god imagine ringing that imagine the imagine a 3am phone call from a kfc delivery anyway so i'm like no it'd be fine it'd be fine they've been late all holiday because what we've

been doing is in this hotel it's quite expensive for the kids lunch and we've been late all holiday because what we've been doing is, in this hotel, it's quite expensive for the kids' lunch. And we've been getting Deliveroo, like, Appy Mills and KFC and Domino's and just bringing it in. You're smuggling in cheaper food for the kids. Yes. And also, they're more likely to eat it. They're more likely to eat it. And it's honestly about half.

The hotels are very expensive out here, like, for drinks and food. Like, there's a shop about 20-minute walk away where it's, like, 65p for a can of drink. Around the pool, they're about 8, 10 quid it's mental yeah so we yeah anyway um and what's quite good what are good in these hotels though they normally have like some sort of club lounge thing it's a bit more money to pay for but you get like three hours of free drinking so we've get we get three hours of free drinking 5 p.m to 8 p.m we've been getting absolutely shit faced and then just riding that way through dinner and um anyway so i was like oh my god i went no it'll be fine it'll be fine delivery's been late every time we've ordered it at lunch it's been late it's been late and they're getting

in my head going if it's 2 a.m rob the roads are quiet it'll be fine i'm like no it'll be fine anyway we turn the corner and then my mate goes oh look there's a kfc delivery bike i was like yeah good one mate winding me up like there's never a kfc it's always deliveroo or just eat isn't it yeah there was literally a motorbike that kfc written on it empty at the front of the hotel i i was trying i was trying to climb out of the car window like trying to get and i run out and then luckily the bloke was just sat on a bench he went mr beckett i was like yes bloke was just sat on a bench. He went, Mr. Beckett. I was like, yes, thank you. He was just sat on a bench waiting for you. He'd only just got there.

He was literally had his phone out and my 3G had run out and he was going to hide. He was like, come to room? And I was, I reckon, five minutes away from him waking up Lou and the kids. It would have been an absolute carnage. A Rabin adventure thing where you take you into the desert i've done it i've never done this before you what well it's like basically they pick you up from the hotel drive you to the desert let down the tires and go all over the sand dunes it's well good fun and um you go to the sand dunes and um and then like it's fun like ride and then you go um and watch the sunset and have a little drink on

the sand dunes um yeah what i would say and then and then you go to a camp that's built into the sand and they do sandboarding so there's all this going on all sort of local culture kind of stuff um which is great unless your children hate sand oh yeah of course i i must have heard him shout it's so sandy about a thousand times and all you want to do is scream in their face, it's the fucking desert. Surely they knew what they were signing up to, right? Well, the sandboarding though, mate, right? It was so hot, right?

And the sandboarding, you have to walk up, I'd say, like 50 foot dune. Oh my God, no thank you. On a rope, right? I didn't even do the belfry. In 35 degrees holding a a snowboard thing but for sand it's the same thing but you know what i mean anyway i'll get that i'm kidding one hand holding a holding the sandball thing and a rope right i got up there

my mate who had his apple watch on his heart rate was 128 right so at the top of this sand dune it's all blue did it as well we're all stood along and then we get on this the bald thing fly down this sand dune about 100 miles an hour get to the bottom i'm still out of breath i've done the ride but it was it was amazing it was a good little trip that but um yeah don't i wouldn't do it if your kids don't like sand yeah yeah this is quite funny as well there was a the kids were playing with these teenagers that was like in the camp there was like a little dance area that well we watch belly dances and stuff and these teenagers were doing cartwheels on it so my kids were doing it all and they were just chatting and getting on they're going what's your mom's name what's your dad's name and stuff like that and the teenagers

were answering and then my kids went they went to my kids, what's your mum called? I was like, oh, Louise. And they went, what's your dad called? My daughter went, Rob Beckett. Have you seen him on the telly? Oh, no. Oh, no. Mortifying. Absolutely awful.

That is. That is. Really? Have they seen you on the telly? Call Safer, I can have my... Call Safer. No. No, well, the one kid ad, the parents had no idea that was off the telly um and then oh i

should i did i was a little bit unsalty no salty i was a bit salty at a dinner thing yeah they do these brunch things but like really lovely food and they do kids ones where we went to one it's like a beauty and the beast themed where you're eating drinks all included lovely food lovely drinks and there was like entertainment for the kids from like one till five so it's a fun thing to do and it's you know i was doing that and there was a lot of drunk english people there because it was unlimited booze yeah and this old bloke come up to me and he was like first we just sat down behind us on the table listening weirdly and i was like you're right and he and he was being a bit rude and he went to me, I don't know who you are, but you look familiar.

Yeah, here we go. And I went, I went, and I was a bit pissed and I went, I don't know who you are and you don't look familiar.

And it was really tense. Not well. Oh no. He walked off though, so that sort of went well. But I don't know if that was out of order or not saying that. No,

I think, I don't know who you are, it's quite eight. But my kids get all a bit defensive when people do that and start holding my hand and cuddling me. It's quite cute. But anyway, yeah, we're back. We're coming back.

We'll be back by the time this goes out. It was a sort of quick work trip. Have you got anything else you want to share? Well, it's just first ever half term, this. Yeah, so how's it? Because normally before, was it you had nursery that was all year and now it's your first half term. How's it going is your son still in nursery yeah so my son's still in nursery but he's only in two days a week so this is we're a little bit ahead so this has gone out

half term will have finished by now wouldn't it basically so are you haven't so you're in the the start of it here aren't you she's at half term activities today at school yeah which all right so i'll be honest with you she was quite disappointed it was half term so oh really she likes it yeah she likes it so you're backing

so how long is she in for half term activities what is it is it a few hours a day she's doing Monday and Thursday no full day full day on Monday and Thursday

this morning I didn't know what's the ruling on uniform is it is all all rules off or is this more school I don't know what the score is.

Oh, it's got to be no uniform in half term. You're already sending it back to the fucking school. What's the point of half term? Exactly, that was my view. No. You're at your own close date, mate. Is it? Yeah, good.

Well, my kids have got henna tattoos on their hands. Oh, yeah. It said it lasts for two weeks. So, yeah, they'll still have henna by the time they go back to school. Well, yeah, we'll report back. But any other business from you? You all josh i'm just i i regret we haven't organized enough for half term it's a classic situation no embrace having space embrace the space everything's thing you could wake up in the morning and say to what do you want to do today yeah well this is what i've promised my kids kids in charge day kids in charge day so they're

desperate to kids in charge day and because i'm away. So they're desperate to do kids in charge day. And because I'm away. That's every day in my house. No, but no, but this is like, they can do whatever they want. I want jelly for breakfast. You're allowed it, kids in charge day. It feels a bit like what would you do the first day out of prison after 10 years? Kids in charge day.

So kids in charge day. So I've said that they can do that when they break up for Christmas holidays christmas holidays um when i'm back because i'm away working a little bit how are you feeling about the australia trip rob yeah good yeah um it'll be i'll miss them they'll miss me but um i've got to do it it's um it's the only time i could do it and then like i say with my work it's feast and famine so sometimes i'm away but then I do have my breaks. How are you going to work the FaceTiming? What time are you planning to be in touch with your kids? I've not really looked into that, but I imagine I'll be doing,

if I do late in the evening, it'll be early in the morning there. But it's not too bad with FaceTime, it's a lot easier. What time is it? I think, Rob, I think if you're a good dad, you'll be getting up at 6am to just say goodnight to them time in Sydney is 9pm

currently what's it at home 11am in the UK so yeah so when they go to bed at 8pm that'll be 9 hours time I can get up at

oh fuck see this is where it's difficult because what I want to do is speak to them late at night after the gig before they go to school that is going to be

bed time in the house what they want is you just to speak to them before they go to bed 6am australia time i think you owe them that i think you owe them that rob i think i find this is really bad i find it easier not seeing on my facetime so my rule is unless they they ask i don't right because i find it kicks off indoors because it disrupts the flow of what's going on and it's selfish in a way because it's me wanting to see them and actually me seeing them reminds them kids are way better at dealing with stuff like this

than the adults. So you're going to give yourself some lions is what you're saying? No, no, no. Rather than FaceTime them before bed, you think it's better that you just lie in? No, I think kids deal with being, kids would deal with the moment better than adults

because we weigh ourselves down with expectation. Kids don't. They're just existing, cracking on with stuff. So I think I will wait for their lead to want to FaceTime me than vice versa because I think it's unfair sometimes when you just burst in on a FaceTime and you're laying on a bed in a hotel

and Lou's like, fuck off. I'm trying to do breakfast. They're already kicking off. Now they're using you against me kind of thing. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm trying to do breakfast. They're already kicking off. Now they're using you against me kind of thing. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm trying to not think about that. There's plenty of us. Thinking about the now, Josh.

And now it's time for small business shout outs. Oh, look at that link. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. My sister-in-law Gemma has started a wonderful small business that I think deserves a shout out. Gemma has a beautiful daughter, Soraya, who is now seven. And like many Moana, Tiana and Maribel loving children requested a princess party for her birthday. Gemma was able to find dozens of princess party entertainers for the princesses of white ethnicity,

but no companies who provided any princesses of color. Realizing that there would be many other families across the country who had encountered this lack of diversity and coming from a family of singles herself she she decided to start her own business a princess like me is a party agency for princess entertainers of color with various packages include doorstep experiences personalized princess video messages and full princess events with fun games singing performances storytelling and much more jemma hopes she can provide a magical day for children wishing to meet their favorite princesses who to this point have been massively underrepresented the business is currently based in harfordshire and london but is looking to expand soon and i

know a shout from you would make all the difference to her you can find out more at a princess like me.co.uk or instagram a princess like me uk thanks for all the laughs my wife and i listen to every episode. Cheers, Rob and Siobhan. Thank you very much. That's a great one. That is a good one. So that's aprincesslikeme.co.uk.

Thank you, everyone, for listening. We'll be back on Friday. Thanks, guys. We'll see you next time. Friday for an interview. An interview? That sounds exciting. A guest?

Yes, an interview. It's a guest. It's a chat, isn't it? A chat. Just an informal chill out chat for you guys and girls yeah chatting

see you on Friday what you can get from this is me and Rob don't know which interview it is so we're trying desperately not to say the name because we're not sure which one it is

but you'll find out on Friday as will we Thank you.