Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S6 EP16: Sara Cox

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant DJ and presenter - Sara Cox. Sara's latest Sunday Times best selling book 'Thrown' is available now i...n paperback. Sara is known and loved by millions of Radio 2 listeners, where she presents the Sara Cox Show 5-7 pm. Sara currently hosts the popular weekly TV book programme Between the Covers on BBC2. Her memoir, Till the Cows Come Home (2018), was a Sunday Times bestseller. Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or, hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be
Starting point is 00:00:29 honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with florence can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. This is Florence, who's just turned two. I think that's pretty good. We coaxed her to say this whilst munching on a cucumber, which she stole from the side whilst we were making dinner.
Starting point is 00:01:02 She's a bit of a food thief, but we generally let her get on with it if it's a distraction to get the actual dinner so we can get the dinner on the table. A raw onion or eggshell isn't off the cards. Bloody hell. We can't wait to see you live in April. Fuck it. Well, I'll roll back. She'll try and eat it,
Starting point is 00:01:20 but she doesn't let him eat it, does she? My son's eating raw onion, I think. I think it's fine. But that's fine. It's the eggshell the egg shell the egg shell yeah i'm not yeah that you know if they like it can you eat the shell i don't think it's encouraged no did i tell you lou um burnt boiled eggs this week oh my word i'd never known it no the egg within the shell was burned so yeah so i i was doing an interview and uh i went oh i've got to do a 20 minute interview i've put these eggs on to boil in cold water so it'll take a little while but and uh and she went yeah but how do you want them done i went oh no just hard boiled so just you know
Starting point is 00:01:53 whatever just turn them off when they're when you know when you're after five ten minutes or whatever and leave them in the water she said okay anyway she completely forgot she was in the kitchen cooking yeah but forgot they were boiling. All the water evaporated. Oh, my word. And then she could smell burning. And basically, it just started, like, just sort of pan frying. Just frying the boiled eggs. So basically, it burned the shell, and then the shell cracked,
Starting point is 00:02:19 and then it just started burning through to the white. Oh, my word. So that one half of it might have been all right. And she was just cooking nearby. I know. Oh, dear. It feels like she's going to respond to that on the next time we get Lou on. There's something with Lou and cooking that's deeper than
Starting point is 00:02:33 doesn't like it. I don't know what's gone on, but her and cooking are just not friends. At all. But yeah, so eggshell though. I don't know if you can eat eggshell. No.
Starting point is 00:02:47 I certainly wouldn't give it to my child weaning them. That was Helena, Ricky and Florence from Peterborough. Can't wait to see you live in Edinburgh in April. April? If they're from Peterborough, Rob, I reckon they're coming to the Nottingham date. Yeah, boy. Good to see you there.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I met two blokes in North London at the end of like the Tube. Yeah. End of like to see you there. I met two blokes in North London at the end of like the tube. Yeah. End of like Stanmore or something. And then I met them at the end of that tube. And they picked me up from the tube. We drove to Peterborough. And it was basically a pub that was trying to do stand-up.
Starting point is 00:03:15 But they had done nothing other than put a microphone and a PA in the corner of the pub. Yeah, lovely. Perfect. So essentially, I was just doing stand-up to a busy pub. Yeah. Backs of heads, tables, people queuing everyone watching oh my god awful um but i got paid 40 quid cash got dropped home stanmore 1am no tubes three night buses i was back in lewisham before you knew it oh my god did i ever tell you i did a gig where a pub was trying to do stand-up and they didn't know how to do it like and so they had, everyone was eating dinner
Starting point is 00:03:45 and he had a mic with no lead. The landlord said, I was like, said, what? You just want me to stand in the corner? And he said, or you could just go table to table and just do a joke to each table. Like a hand position.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I'm not walking around the room arriving at each table to go, have you ever been to Madam Tussauds? Because this is my anecdote. Okay, you've gone to your head and you had to because your family's life was on it. You're in that room now. You've got that mic.
Starting point is 00:04:16 You've got to go to a table to make them laugh. Yeah. I just make jokes about the pub and the food and the situation. I would never, there's no way you could. I once also did a gig and I got there and it was a dinner, right? And it was all one long table and I was at the end, like kind of the king. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And I just had to sit there and then they all sat and had dinner and I had to kind of hold forth at the end of the table. I did that in an Oxford dining hall at the uni. Yeah. It was mental. It's mad, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:04:55 What we did back in the day. If you type in Oxford dining hall, yeah, right, it comes up straight away. Dining hall. At the end of it on a little like raised platform. Oh my God, like Harry Potter? Yeah. Right? It comes up straight away. Dining hall. At the end of it on a little like raised platform. Oh my God, like Harry Potter?
Starting point is 00:05:07 Yeah. It looks like Hogwarts. And that was me doing my gear about, I don't trust couscous, it's fat sand. Yeah, nice. Do you know what I mean? Lovely. I don't like anything that tastes,
Starting point is 00:05:20 feels like it's already been chewed in my mouth, all that stuff. Yeah, all that great gear. It was good gear. It was good gear back in the day. On tomatoes hot in a toasted sandwich, stuff that stuff. Yeah, all that great gear. It was good gear. It was good gear back in the day. On tomatoes, hot in a toasted sandwich, stuff like that. Yeah, I always loved that.
Starting point is 00:05:28 I loved that. That was a good bit. Yeah, that was good. I still think about that. When I have a panini, I think about that. It gets transported back to you being a young whippersnapper.
Starting point is 00:05:39 And an Oxford dining hall with people going, what is he doing? A toasted sandwich? What's he talking about? A Breville A toasted sandwich? What's he talking about? A Breville, Mika? What's he talking about? We got bought a Breville for Christmas two years ago.
Starting point is 00:05:52 It's so good, isn't it? It's so good. But you eat so many toasted sandwiches for about two weeks and then it just goes in the cupboard. And then you start experimenting with cheese, beans and Bovril. Cheese and pickle's a good one. Have you ever tried cheese and pickle?
Starting point is 00:06:07 But fuck me, it gets hot. That's a hot pickle, mate. I get another 10 minutes out of that. Do you know what? I'd love a Breville. I might go down and have a Breville for lunch. I love a Breville sandwich. No company dominates a market more than Breville with the toasted sandwich market.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Well, I used to call it a Breville, you know, rather than a toasted sandwich maker, in the Breville. And people didn't know what I was talking about. What? Some people don't call it the Breville. They just call it... Because that's a brand name, isn't it? It's a fucking Breville. And if they want to chuck some money our way,
Starting point is 00:06:37 that would be... Breville, if you want to send me a fucking toasty maker, mate, I'll have cheese and beans for a month until i'm 15 stone oh man oh god yeah because breville's the breville's the um yeah i used to call it a breville but it's not actually a yeah it's just so cheap as well sandwich i mean like i'm asking them to send me one they're 20 quid yeah they're so good i'll dip me in and now detachable so you can put it in the dishwasher can you oh because lou's got a waffle maker moving with the times brother oh these guys my my daughter's shouting for me rob okay go on
Starting point is 00:07:11 does she want a sandwich she wants toasted sandwich i don't think she'd enjoy it i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna tell the listeners my dirty confession so you don't hear it and give me grief all right great i'll look forward to that and i can listen to the episode for once in my life yeah um let me tell right I'm going to tell you this everything okay? he's doing some parenting everything okay? that's a strange thing to ask
Starting point is 00:07:31 not really no bit of back pain yeah so I I'm working I'm working I'm working I'm just talking to Rob about toasted sandwich makers, okay? I'm grafting it.
Starting point is 00:07:49 I've got calluses. What's that, mate? Oh, I didn't hear it. Enjoyed you saying you're working to your daughter after discussing sandwich makers. Yeah. Yeah, that is bad, isn't it? I'm working.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Can't you hear? I didn't say it like that. She said, what are you up to? I said, I'm working. What would you have said? I'm talking about Toasted sandwich makers God I love a toasted sandwich
Starting point is 00:08:11 Really love them That's the most honest You've ever been That is your That is pure That is from your soul That is a toasted sandwich Isn't it
Starting point is 00:08:23 It's bread It's so bad for you. I'm just so... I'm so basic when it comes to food. Do you know what I mean? I'm not... I'm just... I love a toasted sandwich.
Starting point is 00:08:34 And I'm fine with that. I used to try and think that... If I could genuinely... Bread and cheese and butter. If I could have that every day and not die within about three years, I would eat three massive sandwiches every day. Do you know what I love? And I'm going to say it.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Yeah. A freezer pizza. I fucking love a freezer pizza. A Dr. Oitka Ristorante. Oh, just, oh, just, yeah. Pound for pound. A supermarket home brand. Fine.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yes, please. No, fuck that. No, no, no, fuck off. I love them. No, no, no. I love them. Ristorante, Dr. Oitka. No, they're weird, Dr. Oika.
Starting point is 00:09:06 They're biscuit base. They're not biscuit base, you mad bastard. They're the best. Pound for pound for two quid. I think they're still two quid. How much is a Ristorante these days? Yeah, I don't know. I'll tell you what.
Starting point is 00:09:18 You know, Liz Truss has fucked the Dr. Oika market. Brexit's probably fucked Dr. Oika, because I'll tell you that. Well, it's just come off my thing there two quid in Waitrose 3.25 on Ocado what mad bastard
Starting point is 00:09:29 is buying 3.25 oh it's a vegan one that's why oh right we'll jump on that three quid in Tesco there you go two quid in Sainsbury's
Starting point is 00:09:38 there we go all bases covered shall we bring our guests on oh yeah my embarrassing thing I'll say that quickly embarrassing I quite like Muse the band yeah do you i don't like it though they're from my they're from my uh they're a bit nerdy for me no offense they're a bunch of songs yeah they're they used
Starting point is 00:10:00 to uh my friends were supported by muse when they were 16, because Muse were on the same, like, open mic night when all my mates were in bands. Muse did my school, I think. Oh. So is there any extra bit of that story? I thought you were going to say they did it and they were nice or horrible or... Oh, no. Matt Bellamy used to live above a sex shop on Exit High Street.
Starting point is 00:10:23 I know that. OK, no. Matt Bellamy used to live above a sex shop on Exit High Street. I know that. Okay, cool. And I was once pulled over and asked around for directions. It was Dom, the drummer. That's about all I've got. Okay, all right. That's quite extensive. Fair play.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah. Respect. Okay, let's bring in our guest. Oh, what a guest it is. Yes. In fact, Rob. Yeah. One of your Radio 2 mates, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Yes, a member of the Radio 2 family. The family. And I enjoyed you keeping it together, considering that you was obsessed with Sarah Cox in the 90s. This is Sarah Cox. Hello, Sarah Cox. Welcome to the podcast. Me and Josh are very excited.
Starting point is 00:11:03 You've been on the hit list. Yeah. Oh, wow. Is that a good hit list? Yeah, it's a good oh wow is that a good hit list yeah it's a good one it is a good hit list yeah yeah of people we want and think will be good I can see a cat in the background as well one of my many pets a frustrated daughter of a farmer so I can't have any cows or goats so I just have as many small things as I can wandering around so you were actually a daughter of a farmer? I didn't know this. Yeah, my dad's a beef farmer.
Starting point is 00:11:28 He still is. I mean, he's 80-odd and I ring him and I can hear the rumble of the tractor. Hey, up, up, just shoveling cack. Give me a minute. So are you in London? Yeah, I'm in North London. I mean, I love London.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I've been down here longer than I was up north, but a little tiny bit of me still has that little pipe dream that one day I'll have a small holding and a few more dogs and, you know, ponies for the kids, all that. What kids have you got before we start? What ages are they? Well, I barely qualify for this podcast, really. My parenting is nearly done. Oh, no. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Well, it's a bit of an exaggeration. The youngest is 12, so you're not. Some would argue a quarter of the way through. Yeah. I hate when people go, it's a northern thing, but I think I am quite like, you know, done now. You know what I mean? You can make a toasty.
Starting point is 00:12:20 My parenting's done. You're free. So 12, 14, and 18. Oh. Wow. And what's your 18? Is he or she at uni or working? This September she will be at uni hopefully. We're very proud.
Starting point is 00:12:35 However, that means she's living her fresher year while still being under our roof essentially. Right. Okay. She's not really wild wild she just loves making things with curry powder very early in the morning before college or very late at night what do you mean making things with curry powder i really love indian food and indian flavors but she makes these big veggie curries she uses our house you know when you hear about dark kitchens where people
Starting point is 00:13:04 just have like a kitchen on an industrial estate and that's where they're churned yeah basically we'd oversee her all weekend and she just comes in and curry bombs our entire kitchen with all these lovely aromatic smells all night and then in the morning it's all still there and she leaves it all out and she just she's basically living her student life, but at home. Because, you know, the circle of life. She should be winding up her housemates and stuff or in halls of residence with this behaviour. But instead she's still home. Oh God, I'd have hated to be at home.
Starting point is 00:13:36 When I left and was in halls of residence, it was freedom. Yeah, this is it. I mean, she's doing a really brilliant thing. It's amazing to do a foundation course with her. Then you know what you want to do. She'll go to a good uni hopefully in september but i'll really be like you know makes shoving motion bye love you does she want to go somewhere yeah yeah she's as well she's ready now she's ready to leave the nest she's fully feathered legs are dangling over the edge of the nest you know would you want her to go up north to sort of reconnect with her northern roots like you say
Starting point is 00:14:09 you've been down here for so long now that you've probably got three little posh londoners haven't you i know they still say back today okay that's the thing yeah it's the only thing it would be quite nice if she went up north i was saying that to her actually especially you know because she can then get the tram over to my mom's and go and see her little grandma i thought it'd be quite nice if she went up now if i was saying that to her actually especially you know because she can then get the tram over to my mum's and go and see her little grandma i thought it'd be quite cute you know yeah see the family up there how will you react on that day when you drop her off get absolutely leathered i think celebrate before we bought the house that we're in now we were looking around this area and we looked at one house, and there was a lady there, and she had kids the same age as you, really,
Starting point is 00:14:48 12, 14, and 18, and was like, oh, so where are you going then? Because it's quite a strange time to move, I think, because they're all in secondary school, and then uni is sort of an odd... And she went, oh, yeah, well, what we're doing is she's going to university in Canterbury, so we're going to move down to Canterbury, so we're near to her. And I was like, what? Wow.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Whoa, she doesn't want that. You know, someone says something to you in their house and you want to go, are you fucking insane? But you're like, right, okay. And I was like, well, what about the other kids? Do you move every time they go to uni? Because it's unfair to move for one or they all have to go to the same uni. But she was very much the other end of the spectrum
Starting point is 00:15:23 with dropping off for uni as you are, Sarah. I mean, wow. I think it's healthier your side of the fence. Look, I might be all gung-ho now. You might speak to me in a year, well, come September, and I might be devastated, but I doubt it. I mean... You don't even pretend it.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I mean, she's had enough of us. You know, she's very... She's a real independent spirit, you know what I mean? She knows that she's had enough of us. You know, she's very, she's a real independent spirit. You know what I mean? She knows that she's fully loved. I mean, it's the same, you know, when my mum comes down here and I drop her back off, well, I don't even drop her at Euston anymore.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I pop her in an Uber. She's used to it. When I pop her in the Uber, she's had enough of me and I've had enough of her. Yeah. We're a bit like, you know, it's just a bit like, I love you, but we're done now. So she'll she'll be off yeah she'll have a great time when my parents come and tour with me to australia and new zealand and on the way back from new zealand it was like 14 hours
Starting point is 00:16:15 to singapore was in singapore for two hours got delayed an hour three hours there and then it was 14 hours from singapore to london because they couldn't go over parts of russia obviously because of the war and then we landed and then we sat on the runway for two hours because there was nowhere to park the plane because it was a big one and needed us and all this. And by the end of it, I was, like, itchy to wanting to, like, escape and get away. And I sat there and then my mum went, oh, look, my neighbour, whatever her name is, she's gone to see Mama Mia.
Starting point is 00:16:41 And it was a bit hard to apologise later. I went, why do you think I give a fuck about what your neighbour... I don't even know who your neighbour is. I don't know what she is. I don't know where she is. And I couldn't give a fuck about it. But they just bombard you with information
Starting point is 00:16:58 you don't care about your parents. Yeah, it's when that inner monologue slips out. That's what you're often thinking anyway. You know, Carol, a daughter was in the year above you at school. You know, Jenny got a limp. Your mum's nowhere, anyway. And then he'll tell you something complete. She tripped over a lamp or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:17:16 A greyhound's not well. You're just like, I don't care. But yeah, you're slipped out that long together. Yeah, I'd say, yeah. Or she goes, yeah, it's her anniversary next week. I'm thinking I might get him a present all right yeah okay what do you think about that rather than say it what was that old is tempe gonna ring someone who cares i mean i used to think my mum was absolutely crackers i'm like why would my mum care about these little things like you know about
Starting point is 00:17:46 you know when i've left a mess in the kitchen or whatever and now my eldest woke up this morning to a naggy text and a follow-up analog handwritten note in the kitchen as well really rinse these dishes wash this this wasn't very pleasant at 6 a.m making a cup of tea next to all this smelly stuff sort this out and anyway i was speaking to my husband and he goes did she sort it out i'm like yeah but she left just one splodge of curry sauce about two inches to the left of the note that i'd left in the kitchen okay fuck you do what say, but I'll just let you know that I don't care as much as you and I was like, I just took a picture of the splodge and everything.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Do you know what? You won't remember this, Sarah, but for some reason I've got a memory of you parenting, which was when we... Sounds creepy. Yeah, this is weird. When we did the Crystal Maze together about 10 years ago and there was a break and and I was sat there,
Starting point is 00:18:45 and I remember hearing consecutive phone calls from Rio Ferdinand to his kid, and then you to, must be your daughter now, and he was really talking about how this kid had played in the football, did they win, really competitive, like sports dad. And then I just remember you saying to your daughter, yeah, if you've done all your work then you can go to sprinkles and that's all you said go to sprinkles sprinkles is legendary
Starting point is 00:19:14 shut down now what is sprinkles it was an ice cream parlor like pancake parlor you know and it shut down because we're british and we like, who wants an ice cream parlour? That's too much, you know. But you came across as a very chilled out parent. Is that fair? You know what? Despite the start I've made with this show, I am actually pretty chilled. My husband's much stricter with me, but I think it's because she's so big now
Starting point is 00:19:40 that it is some sort of primal instinct that like, you know. That she could beat you up. Yeah, go and spear your own mammoth, you know, out the cave. You're grown now kind of thing. But otherwise, I am pretty chilled, really. What about with going out and stuff? Like, are you asking a lot of questions, like who she's going out with, where she's going,
Starting point is 00:19:58 or are you relaxed about that as well? Well, to be fair, on my home screen of my phone, I've got all three and my husband i've got their locations oh have you on my phone yeah wow like like spooks like the real hustle no is it like meet the parents where he's got that little spy room i just go into it i press a painting on my wall and it flips and so you've got all their locations through like the message thing yeah they're all there so i can see exactly where they all are at all times wow it's really good what's that app it's just widgets that you get on your own screen on your iphone and you could just put the widget of like for location so it's so nice my eldest is pretty good but it's nice if i wake
Starting point is 00:20:41 up at like 2am or whatever i can just glance at my phone and see that she's at this address. Yeah. Or, you know, a mate's house. And it hasn't come back on her that she goes, but you were the ultimate ladette. I know where you were going. You used to go out all night before the Radio 1 breakfast show. I've not even got to get up to broadcast to 10 million people.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Sometimes there's a bit of sassy syndrome. Is there? Where it used to be where she was a bit more sensible she'd come down and me and my friends if we'd had a party or whatever might still be up or something well that was a long time ago oh they still got remember that time you're really drunk in a beether mom you were so funny by the pool in the morning oh god that was ages ago i really want to do a men in black in front of their eyes i get that but now yeah i guess with their outfits i'm fully you know as a parent when your kids are growing up
Starting point is 00:21:34 and they're finding their own style your stock response is you look amazing babe you look great my mum always said it to me when i was going out in my terrible, like secondhand fake leopard print leather jackets and John Lennon sunglasses. She'd be like, you look great. She must be like, in the back, behind my back. And now I'm like fully encouraging with my kids. I'm like, you look awesome. But if there's quite a lot of cleavage happening, sometimes I don't have a leg to stand on because she can literally Google me
Starting point is 00:22:03 falling out of the net bar you know looking like i've got phil and grant mitchell down me dress and can just be like evidence present to the court so yeah you can't really say much can you no i'm not gonna like them are they interested in your work and your past because i think your career is quite interesting did like radio one you did, you did The Girly Show, of course, and then you're now kind of Radio 2. I mean, you're closing in on National Treasure here, Sarah, if you're not careful. Oh, no!
Starting point is 00:22:34 You're closing in on it. Am I 35? Shut up. But respect from like being an author and Sunday Times bestseller, it's like you've sort of covered all bases of entertainment really haven't you and broadcasting it's just my single to be released now and then I've taken them all I might be a long time coming there'll be a lot of auto-tune on that bad boy so yeah they're kind of interested I mean they're just so used to it they're just a bit like oh is your book out they don't really care you know have they read it no no one's read the book my husband's not
Starting point is 00:23:11 read any of my books no my wife's not read either of mine it's unbelievable unbelievable i mean it's really weird isn't it so did you present it to her and go the dad love you to read it it's really little could get a copy. There's about 65 in my office. Sign one for her, Josh. And I'll be like, she doesn't really read. She just looks at her phone in bed.
Starting point is 00:23:34 But would you want your husband sat reading your book next to you in bed? That's the weird thing, isn't it? It's like my memoir. Well, I mean, it's not read either. I tell you what I wrote, the memoir is basically about my dad and my dad well i mean it's not red eyes i tell you what i wrote that the memoir
Starting point is 00:23:45 is basically about my dad and my dad hasn't read it so really in existence is a book about him that is not well yeah that was till the cows come home yeah obviously he's a beef farmer that was in 2018 but your new one is thrown that's your new novel so this is your first novel yeah yeah this is now in paperback but and this is crucial sarah it says here very importantly that you're a sunday times bestseller for fiction now yes that's level up in it anyone could knock out a fucking memoir anyone can knock out a memoir this is proper work it's a proper novel yeah was it tough yeah it was a proper novel. Yeah. Was it tough? Yeah. He got to number two in the bestsellers' chat. I know. Osman.
Starting point is 00:24:31 It's got to be Osman. Fucking Richard Osman. It's got to be Osman. That's what I was thinking. I can't remember. And then, you know, there's quite a few songs that were kept off the top spot. Yeah. Last Christmas was kept off the top spot yeah last christmas was kept off myself with that yeah it was a vienna kept off i think by richard osmond
Starting point is 00:24:52 probably swayed richard osmond's brother those osmonds are everywhere donny osmond was number one as well oh don't get me going on the Osmonds Jesus years ago I did Family Fortunes against the Osmond family and the first three rows of the audience were all Osmond fans all women with the scarves and stuff
Starting point is 00:25:17 and every answer I gave silenced when it was correct and stuff and me and my family we were basically trolled by Osmond fans and whenever they answered they were basically trolled by Osman fans. Oh, wow. And whenever they answered, they were like, hey, all these mad women. It's amazing. So Throne is a novel about four women at...
Starting point is 00:25:34 Shall I give the pitch or do you want me to... Do you want to give the pitch, Sarah? What are you doing? See if you're right or not, Josh. Okay. Sarah can judge you. Four women in an apocalyptic future in 2030. I'm writing that down for the next one. It's pretty good, that.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I've got these ideas, you see. So it's about four women meeting for a pottery class, right? Yes. And they kind of... It's set like north of Manchester. Yeah. It's basically set in Bolton. I was in a state.
Starting point is 00:26:04 I grew up sort of half at my mum's and half on the farm where my dad was. We left the farm when I was six, considered divorced. And it's sort of an estate similar to one where I grew up and nobody really knows each other anymore like they used to. And people are sort of busy, get on with their own lives. And then this woman called Becky who runs a community center, she wins a grant to start this pottery class. And that was a nice way just to bring these four women together and for them to become firm friends and to help each other through all sorts of like suspected
Starting point is 00:26:35 infidelity yeah and another couple who are desperate for a baby one who's got a bit of internet syndrome and actually wants to start a new life abroad. There's a horrible ex comes in. There's a very sexy Scottish pottery teacher. I had to write a couple of fruity scenes. Did you? Oh. That I then had to read in the audio book. I'll never do that again.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Oh, God. Is there a line that sticks in your mind that you've struggled with? Yeah. What is it? Come on. I can't. You can. Come on, Sarah. It's rude. It's okay. What page is it on? What page is it? Come on. I can't. You can. Come on, Sarah.
Starting point is 00:27:05 It's rude. It's okay. What page is it on? What page is it on? And I'll read it. I'll read it out. You've got the book here. I've got the PDF here.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Where is it? Okay, so it'll be Jamila, and it's when her husband comes home from work. Oh, and one thing leads to another. Oh. Yeah, and one thing leads to another. Who were you picturing with the sexy husband? No, not sexy husband.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Sexy pottery teacher because he's Scottish. A little bit. 1980s Marty Pello. Oh! I can see it. And when you say a little bit, do you mean a lot? Yeah. Well, yeah, maybe. But it's got to be H's pillow.
Starting point is 00:27:48 It's Marty's pillow. Yeah. Sexy, serious, but creative. Twinkly. I mean, don't look into his eyes. He'll twinkle you to death. I've lost many friends over the years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:58 You look him directly in the eye. Have you got it there, Sarah? I'm not. Because I've got a pretty sexy voice, as we're all aware. You'll have to give me a minute, but I'm sure it'll be worth it once we find it find the page it's quite rude though josh you sure you might have to fill out a form i cannot wait i'll blush oh oh my word oh sarah what have you found go on it's page 56 what word is it josh what have you found oh my word we've already built this you had to read this oh yeah
Starting point is 00:28:30 i was like you know what i did it in one take because i'm not bloody doing this twice because it's so embarrassing did you look up towards the producer? No, and he was like mid-twenties. He was basically the same name and age as one of my nephews. And I was like... He looked like a young Marti Pello. Just you two in a room together and you reading this as he records it. Yeah, he's so wrong. Shall we get Nando's after this?
Starting point is 00:29:00 Okay, here we go. He presented it. She missed Simon. She missed the sex they used to... Sex? Oh, my word. Sarah. That can't be the naughty bit, the word sex.
Starting point is 00:29:11 No wonder you didn't want your daughters to read this. Go on, Josh. This is fun watching you cringe a bit. She missed the sex they used to have when they moved in together. His hands on her... A bit sexier, Josh. Yeah. But what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:29:23 Come on, give it a bit of... How did you do it, Sarah? I didn't want to sound like I'm being sarc Josh. Yeah. But what do you mean? Come on, give it a bit of... How did you do it, Sarah? I didn't want to sound like I'm being sarcastic. Right. His hands on her as soon as he was through the door from work. A kiss, hello, turning hotter. Him pulling down her knickers roughly, pushing his fingers into her,
Starting point is 00:29:39 his long searching fingers. Long? He'd always known just where to touch her. It was these moments she thought of in the shower oh do you know what it's very well written sarah it is isn't it does it get more raunchy than that or is that how much did you get notes on that or did they wave that bit through first draft go you've nailed that they were like green light that day for me though long searching fingers reminds me of et that's what i picturing. With the glowy bit on the end.
Starting point is 00:30:05 The glowy bit, that's right. He knows exactly where to hit. Oh, so that was intense to read. That'll be tough in the audio book. That was incredible, Josh. I will never forget that. Thanks, guys. That was a beautiful moment.
Starting point is 00:30:18 If you want that edited into the audio book, then. I can't work out if that's going to make people want to buy it more or less, Josh, doing it. Just say, no, Josh doesn't do the whole book. No. Do you do the voices? Like, did you do different accents? Oh, don't. Another lesson I learned.
Starting point is 00:30:34 So the first one was don't write sex scenes in. And the second one was don't have a bloody Scottish person unless you can do a Scottish accent. So I was like, I'm at risk of being cancelled by Scotland if I try and do. And then I'm like, can we not just get like Edith Bowman in or something just to come in and do those like bits where Sasha speaks?
Starting point is 00:30:56 Apparently that's not a thing. So in the end, well, then they were like, just for the audio book alone, make him not Scottish. But I think Scots are quite sexy. You made him Jamaican. It was much worse, actually, wasn't it? Yeah, so he's sexy and exotic, isn't it, Scotland? A five-hour drive to Bolton.
Starting point is 00:31:16 So what did you do? Well. Did you do a Scottish accent? No, because I would get cancelled. I mean. Hey, we're out! I've only got that extreme version. If he's trying to be sexy in the pottery this is it oh so it was awful i'm getting like sweating over thinking about it so i didn't want to change the character where it was from because i just
Starting point is 00:31:35 liked having a scottish character in there so luckily he traveled a lot so he'd worked in la israel he'd worked everywhere with his partner so he sounded Mancunian he sounded like a Mancunian woman basically if you call him I said he's kind of like transatlantic
Starting point is 00:31:54 weird Bolton like oh it's just terrible brilliant I'm sure it's amazing lessons learnt and so
Starting point is 00:32:02 your children haven't read it no quite rightly yeah it's a bit saucy in it for you oh yeah i mean so all girls you've got or boys as well i've got a girl boy girl so how old are you you two are in like deep parenting aren't you i'm in deep rob's in rob can get his feet on the floor of the swimming pool but he's not comfortable yet seven and five so we're getting there we're nearly there and i'm five and one i'm not jaded like you are sarah sure i mean to be honest you've got it's lovely when they're little but it's amazing when they're big
Starting point is 00:32:35 because there is an element of like like yesterday the middle and the little had gone to the cinema together and they were going to get home on the middle and the little one had gone to the cinema together and they were going to get home on the tube and stuff and all fine. They just pootle around on the tube now. So on their own, the 12 and 14 year old? 12 and 14, because they get the tube to school every day and they can mate about a bit.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Eldest one was off out or whatever. Me and us, then, we're just chilling and I was like reading and stuff, simply in that bookshelf. So I was constantly reading at the simply in that bookshop I'm constantly reading at the moment and we were actually reminiscing going god remember when the kids were little when we got an hour like this which is totally normal to us now to be in the house by ourselves we were like paralyzed by the possibility of what we could do with an hour of freedom and
Starting point is 00:33:19 you're like we've got 47 minutes left before they get dropped back by grandma or whatever and it was so like amazing to not have the responsibility little kids but and as they get older you get that so much now that you don't really notice when you've got that free time you know it's like it's just lovely when they get bigger when you just hang out with them you can have a laugh you can call them a knobhead you know you can't really do that to the face and the little you could do it behind their back no what's the first age when you just called your child a knobhead and thought that was fine?
Starting point is 00:33:47 Probably like 11, I think. Yeah, secondary school. You could knobhead them off. Yeah. Oh, you forgot your PE kit. Oh, you knobhead. Yeah, exactly. You're like, you massive knobber.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Come here. And it's cute, and they don't mind. I don't F in front of them. You don't F? Yeah, I'm not like... F-ing and Jeff-ing. Yeah, I'm not F-ing and Jeff-ing because my mum said the F word
Starting point is 00:34:07 when I got my A-level results and I'll never forget how devastated I was. What, because it was bad? Yeah, I was just like, Mum, she's like, oh, I'm fucking out,
Starting point is 00:34:17 I'm so proud. Oh, I thought she was like, for fuck's sake, that's shit, Sarah. Although it was good, it was good. What the fuck is doing you fucking knobheads?
Starting point is 00:34:23 What the fuck are those three results? Well, actually, I think it shows that she was clearly very surprised that she used such a strong expletive that I'd done all right. Yeah. So I don't use F words. My boy, who's 14, sometimes swears when he's gaming and stuff. I'll be like, dude, take it down a little bit.
Starting point is 00:34:41 What difference have you seen between having a teenage daughter to a teenage boy? Is it different? So boys are a bit more or online gaming a bit more aren't they where girls are messaging more the boys are definitely playing more games i think where the girls message the messaging and the whatsapp groups and stuff with the teenage girls yeah so it's pretty similar really because there's roadblocks that my daughter was on a lot and it's sometimes still on and that's why she's on there with her group of mates from school.
Starting point is 00:35:08 What's the same is it's lucky both of them have got a really strong group of close mates, so that's really nice. And actually, I hang out with my son more than with my little one. With my little one, I'll have to grab her and make her come and hang out and make her do something with me like a bit of you know baking or going off and doing something whereas my son's kind of sweet i mean he's 40 he's six foot one and that's the mad thing wow because i'm like five eight and a half and when your child overtakes you so two of them are taller than me now my daughter's probably like five ten yeah and
Starting point is 00:35:46 my son is uh yeah six one no taller than his dad yeah oh wow and it's not there yet but when they play fight my husband's a bit like jesus and then he has to really get in and do a proper dead arm you know because it's getting that, like, you know, that battle for who's, like, head of the herd kind of thing. Because my son's, you know, he's getting big. He's like, it's so funny, this little gorgeous little pudding that you used to just toddle about. He's now just like a geezer.
Starting point is 00:36:19 He's a bloke. I'm always grabbing his bare legs, like, look at these legs. Like, how did this happen? I bet he loves that. Yeah, he does, mate. Your grabbing his bare legs. Like, look at these legs. Like, how did this happen? I bet he loves that. Yeah, he does, mate. Your mate's all round. His mate's round. You go, look at your legs.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Look at his legs. Look how big his legs are. Hey, I'll tell you what he brings up all the time. I think it really did damage him was when I bit his bum. Because he's always like, remember when you bit my bum? And I'm always like, oh, yeah. God, you really remember that? How old was he?
Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah, 14. Yeah, last week last week no he was like five or six or someone was climbing up onto his top bunk and he was messing about with someone i just grabbed his bum took a big bite of his bum the kind of thing you do when they're like squidgy little babies and then they get to that age like what are you doing and then you go I don't know I'm just flitting about so enjoy that you're still in that you're still in that
Starting point is 00:37:10 age where you can just squid you in the back and bite them and blow you can't blow raspberries on a 14 year old's tummy you know
Starting point is 00:37:17 so enjoy it you've got to stay well away from that I'm Ivo Graham and I'm Alex Keeley we're stand-up comedians who love music and we'd like to tell you about our new podcast
Starting point is 00:37:29 Gig Pigs Alex and I have been watching live music together for years so we've decided to compromise this hobby and potentially our friendship by turning it into a project
Starting point is 00:37:37 every episode we'll be going to a gig and then discussing it afterwards with the friends who came along to third wheel us asking questions like did you enjoy the gig?
Starting point is 00:37:44 did you check the setlist in advance? Did you appreciate the artist's mid-song banter? Did this gig profoundly change your relationship with live music? Was the Cloakrum queue prohibitively long? We've been to Franz Ferdinand with Rosematte Feo and Emma Ciddy, Kendrick Lamar with Phil Wang and The Cure with Celia AB. And next month we're going with Ed Gamble to watch Napalm Death. Episodes are out from this Thursday and every Thursday thereafter
Starting point is 00:38:07 until attending live music once a week with a different guest becomes logistically impossible. We have no idea how soon that could be, so join us now by going to your preferred podcast platform and searching Gig Pigs. Do you feel emotional when you think about them being small kids? Do you go, oh, I miss that? Or are you too much enjoying the fact that you can sit around reading books? Well, you know what is really good? You know, at the moment, over the last month or whatever,
Starting point is 00:38:35 when your phone keeps chucking up old pictures. Yeah. And it's put together all these albums. It's just constantly now when I open my phone, there are just little random pics of the kids when they're little and if anything that makes me feel a bit like oh no you know because they were just like there's a picture of them on the isle of white ferret so i had uh the dog that we had at the time with us and the kids and the kids i reckon are like two four and eight and it's clearly freezing but they're grinning like they've got the
Starting point is 00:39:07 puffer coats with the rugs up and i took a picture of them on the rough seas like just stand near the edge there on the deck of the ferry and that popped up and i was like it's so cute you know because they're just so happy with any everything's an adventure at that age and that's what's kind of lovely but then equally now we went to south africa over back end of christmas and new year and stuff and we went to a botanical garden and they loved it and they were interested whereas a few years ago it would have been a bit like we're tired can we bring scooters oh it's boring what are we here for yeah i want to go to a soft play center or something yeah finding a cinema in j play centre in Johannesburg. Finding a cinema in Johannesburg.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Like, okay, let's take them cinema. Let's go and watch Trolls 2 again. Well, we went on one of our family holidays in Devon. When we were there, the weather was really bad and we were sat in basically a massive industrial unit that was a trampoline park. Oh, my God, those places. And I booked an Abethan villa for the year after
Starting point is 00:40:03 while sitting in that industrial trampoline park i'm not doing this again we had so many holidays and i'm sure you guys are deep in that yeah me and lou do that we go through phases of going well the weather's always lovely in the uk in august let's just enjoy the uk and then you do that and go fuck this it's raining again why didn't we just book a holiday like a holiday did you find time for stuff like reading and all that stuff or did you find when you were kids suddenly got old you were like wow i can get all my hobbies back i can do stuff yeah i mean i got a horse that's when i was like right yeah they're bigger now and when i got a what age were your kids when you got a horse not i want to get a horse but my version of the horse
Starting point is 00:40:44 what age am i what is my version of the horse. What age am I? What is your version of the horse? A Plymouth season ticket? What's my version? Yeah, season ticket. Plymouth, Argyle. That's Josh's horse.
Starting point is 00:40:54 No hesitation. That just right away. Yeah, the season ticket would be the one. It's probably cheaper to buy a player for Plymouth than a horse. I don't think that's very funny. But yeah. I think the youngest was like nine oh for the love of God do they ride as well well the eldest can a bit and then
Starting point is 00:41:12 I tried to with the other two a little bit but they weren't massively into it and I would have been really forcing it and it was expensive you know to take them for lessons and that if they're not that into it then but you know my son can skateboard a bit and my husband used to love skateboarding so i'm always like babe be careful because
Starting point is 00:41:30 my husband's like come here i can show you how to do a bit of that i used to skateboard 23 years ago let's go let's get back on the half pipe exactly he's 47 and he's like yeah let me just say i'm just like oh my god his bones must be so hollow compared to when he was a teen please be careful uh but yeah no they've all got their stuff that they're into but i've not forced them into the into the ride do you try and get into their stuff are you trying to be cool and down with the kids are you offering opinions on tiktok, not really. Like the one TikTok of mine that did really well
Starting point is 00:42:08 was one that my 12-year-old filmed and put up and stuff. Really? Where I dressed up as her. Oh, that one? Yeah, it's cute. Where you dress as your kid. Yeah, that's that little trend where you go, but they put your age as well, don't they?
Starting point is 00:42:22 Did she put your age? That's the thing they do. They'll be like, my so-and-so aged dad dressed up as me. I always feel like the age is too far. Just say my parents. We know they're older. We know it's around something between 20 and 40 years older than you are. Why do you have to put the exact number?
Starting point is 00:42:40 Yeah, I don't know if my age is on there. I mean, it wasn't that different. I don't really try and get into their stuff too much, really. I mean, my husband's funny because my husband's a massive hip hop fan and a fan of rap. And so he's thrilled that without any pushing at all, my son is now really, really into hip hop. That's just the music that he's drawn to and that he loves. It's cute. He can like, you know,
Starting point is 00:43:05 they can like enjoy a bit of rap music together for his husband and those other lyrics. I like rap and hip-hop but some of the words, there's a lot of swearing in it. Oh, it's like reading,
Starting point is 00:43:13 it's like Sarah Cox doing her audio book sometimes. Yeah. But they love it because they really like sort of bass and big beats and stuff like that. So they're like,
Starting point is 00:43:22 oh, we like this one because I like Bassline Junkie by Dizzy Rascal. And he goes, play that fucking bass. Put some fucking bass on that. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck off.
Starting point is 00:43:31 And I'm like, OK. And I'm trying to dip the volume. And you can handle on this. Like, I don't want no Kenny's. I don't want no Coke and all that. Yeah. And the kids are singing along to it. I know.
Starting point is 00:43:41 So listing drugs, saying, bitch, fuck off, fuck you, Baseline Junkie, I don't want smack, bass is my drug and all that. I don't know if there are like versions of those songs that you can get. It seems to be like, it always comes up as explicit. Don't be such a square with your Christian versions of hip hop songs.
Starting point is 00:43:59 That baseline junkie song. Have you got one that's about loving God? It could be like jesus junkie instead jesus walks by kanye west but well no i'm fun kids uk which we used to listen to quite a bit they will have like it's all the pop music but like do a leaper's rules you know it'd be like one don't pick up the phone, you know, he's only calling because he's not getting it. But instead of like drunk and alone.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Oh, Fun Kids UK. Yeah, so Fun Kids UK is a radio station and they re-record. So it sounds so similar. Or they might just re-record certain bits of the verse. It's really clever how they do it. And you're like, hang on, that's not right. Because instead of like, well, I'm going to pick up the phone, you know he's only calling because you're drunk and alone or whatever. Right, yeah. But instead it would be well, I'm going to pick up the phone, you know it's only Colin because you're drunk and alone or whatever. Right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:46 But instead it would be like, you know it's only Colin because you're playing yo-yo alone. It's a kid version. It's really clever. It's really cute. Oh, that's fun. Do you re-record the whole vocal or does it just change to like, you know, when it's dubbed over so it's really good
Starting point is 00:45:02 and then it's like playing yo-yo over the top or is it? Request a song. Does it work? Yeah so it's really good, and then it's like playing Yo-Yo over the top, or is it? Request a song. Does it work? Yeah, it's really clever. It's really funny. We were banging to Fun Kids UK for a bit. Right, okay. I even tried to, yeah, get a blag on there, like a show.
Starting point is 00:45:16 You can request a song Friday nights, right? So I might ask for Bassline Junkie by Dizzy Rascal and see what she can do with it, this lady. Bex. I don't want no biscuits. I don't want. Bex. I don't want no biscuits. I don't want no crisps. I don't want no Kit Kats. Have you had to have, like,
Starting point is 00:45:32 chats about adult topics with your teenage kids? Of course, yeah. And how was that? Well, when you do the sex chat and the birds and the bees, you've also got to add in sexting and you've got to add in consent yeah and all the
Starting point is 00:45:47 big issues you know alongside of the you know to my eldest obviously you know keeping an eye on her drink so she doesn't get her drink spiked you know to all the kids about what to do if you get mugged that might be very much a big city thing so it's you know it goes way beyond the birds and the bees sort of stuff god that's uh which is quite heavy you know i'm worried that i haven't got the that's i'm not going to feel comfortable is that a kind of thing you were comfortable when do you ever feel comfortable though josh i never feel comfortable i feel particularly uncomfortable oh no you remember that sex scene. You were so up for it. You seemed pretty...
Starting point is 00:46:26 Oh, he loved that. Maybe I could just read that to her. He's fine with fingering, Sarah. When it comes to fingering, he's fine. He got a niche skill. Anything more than that, he can't deal with it. Yeah. Your next novel, give me a shout.
Starting point is 00:46:40 That would be so good if just Josh's voice, if your voice just came in. Just popped up. Oh, I love that. For all the rude bits. Can you do a Scottish accent? Because we could get Sasha back. No, I can't do a Scottish accent, sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:55 But yeah, no, you'll be fine because by then you'll have been through all the stages of parenting. Yeah. And also at school they get taught a lot of sex education. They're aware of it slightly as well. It's sort of a group effort it's not just yeah you corner this sort of innocent kid so i've got one question i did need to ask you sarah on parenting which is there's a parent at my daughter's gymnastics who trades quite a lot on being a good mate of yours oh this is good interesting i'm leaning in yeah and i want to just check if they are good mates with you.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Come on. Are you good friends with a man called David Laub? Oh, yeah, I am. He's my son's godfather. Oh, Lauby. It's a real shame. He came in hot. He came in strong.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Just questioned him. I didn't question him. I'm just like, I just need to double check this. He's a godfather to your son. Yeah, he's one of Ben's oldest mates. They used to have a bath together ask him about that it got put in the bath together when they were little having sleepovers they're that close after 30 from skateboarding you can also use his other name
Starting point is 00:47:56 which is raven raven he'd always be the one still going when we're like it's over yes it's over yeah you know yeah's over. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Stop now. I'll call him ravered on Sunday morning. That's why all the parents in the East End, like where you live, Victoria Parkway, want to talk to each other.
Starting point is 00:48:13 They're all old school ravers. They'd love it. We're all still up, Rob. We're all still up. Oh, the final question, Sarah, we always ask. It's a two-pronged one. Basically, what's the one thing that your partner does parenting-wise that really winds you up and you sort of clash with him about and if you listen back you go fair enough and then what's the other thing that he does that you think oh
Starting point is 00:48:31 that's why i'm so happy we had kids together you're an amazing dad that's cute um okay so the first one is he will not let him do anything for themselves. Like when it comes to, because he's in charge of the kitchen and keeping the kitchen nice, mainly he will. I know actually that's not a very good one. Let me have a thing. I was just going to say that he just, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:54 he'll take over and I'm like, they'll never learn how to do it. Well, he just, he just does it for him. Yeah. And I'm a bit like, well,
Starting point is 00:49:01 I think that's a fair one because if you clean up after and you'll be cleaning up after him forever, you'll be going to visit her at uni and then tied in the kitchen. This is it. I'm a bit like... Well, I think that's a fair one because if you clean up after him, you'll be cleaning up after him forever. You'll be going to visit her at uni and then tidying the kitchen. This is it. I'm like, it's our job to raise them so that when we release them eventually into society, they'll be able to, like, make a sarnie and be like, you know... So you do talk about them like you're releasing a lion back into the world,
Starting point is 00:49:22 like you're never going to see him again. It's like, once I release them, you know, I'll never see him ever again. I'm born free. Like, we'll see him again. Yeah, you come back after 20 years. We won't recognise him, you know, and I'll chase them away. Like, I'll tell you what he does.
Starting point is 00:49:34 My husband's amazing and he's a brilliant, brilliant dad. And he's such a good dad that he doesn't really like being the bad guy. So what he'll do is he will wind me up so much about something so that I then go and have a go at the kids about it. And he'll stand behind me going like, gosh, she's mad today. I don't know what's got into her.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Sorry kids. My mom's got a good saying about, you know, he'll load the gun and I'll fire it. Oh yeah. He'll get me so wound up. And then he's a bit like,'s not that bad she did tidy it earlier and i'm like what you've just been texting me at work you're like furious get to me all head
Starting point is 00:50:13 top yeah and then he's the good guy so that's bad that is bad isn't that a bit of a thing though don't you have that with your other half so never heard of that before in any functional relationship i've never heard of that but no i've recognized that behavior in any relationship that's lasted and the good thing is i mean he's just mr taxi man he's really good well i'm like they can get six buses two tubes of training and hovercraft they'll be fine they're grown up and he'll be like i'll go and pick them up from because my kids go to school in central town their mates are from all over lond up and he'll be like, I'll go and pick them up from, because my kids go to school in the centre of town, their mates are from all over London.
Starting point is 00:50:47 So he'll be like, you know, there'll be a birthday party or something and it'll be like, you know, he's got to schlep off to Chelsea or somewhere
Starting point is 00:50:55 at like 11 o'clock on a Saturday night. And that can be like an hour drive. You know what I mean? In London, it's mad, isn't it? Like something that's just
Starting point is 00:51:02 around the corner can be a 45 minute drive there, 45-minute back. Yeah, absolute madness. And he'll always do that. He'll always go and pick them up. And he's always like, it's my job, isn't it? He's just a mega taxi man.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Mega taxi man. Mega taxi man. Fair enough. Yeah. Sarah, thank you so much. And good luck with the paperback release. Hopefully you get back to number one rather than second. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Yeah, this is the time. Osman's going to be sweating it. Osman's given you a quote, though. Yeah, he has, bless him. That was nice of him, wasn't it? It is nice. He didn't realise you were a competitor at that point and then he gave you a quote.
Starting point is 00:51:35 He knows he's got no competitors. He's the light and equivalent of the publishing world. He ain't got no one after him. He's fine. Let's give us his quote, though. Throne is a gloriously big-hearted story about four women who attend their local community center pottery class a fresh and insightful take on how change can happen through female friendships described as so full of humor
Starting point is 00:51:54 and heart by richard osmond no the first bit p.s i love the fingering bit no no his one is so full of humor and heart by richard osmond yeah that was more than his one is so full of humour and heart by Richard Osborne. Yeah, that was more than... Yeah, his one was humour and heart. I was going to say, fucking hell, Richard. All right, calm down, mate. He's done a full premise, eh? His quote was, I've got long fingers as well. My God. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:52:17 But good luck with the paperback release. Hopefully you get to the top of the charts again, Sarah. And good luck with your show. You're on Radio 2 every day. And obviously your book club review show on BBC2. Thanks so much for coming on. Yeah, lovely.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Thanks very much. Lovely to chat. Cheers, Sarah. Thanks. Bye. Cheers, mate. Have a good day. Cheers, mate.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Sarah Cox. Love Sarah Cox. Radio 2 family, me and her. Yeah. Is she in the Radio 2 WhatsApp group with you? Oh, yeah, yeah. We're in there.
Starting point is 00:52:43 People keep leaving it, though, awkwardly. Kay and Bruce left the conversation. Well, if there is the Radio 2 WhatsApp group with you? Oh, yeah, yeah, we're in there. People keep leaving it, though, awkwardly. Ken Bruce left the conversation. Well, if there is a Radio 2 presenter WhatsApp group, I'm not in it. Oh, no, Rob. I don't know if there is. Maybe there is.
Starting point is 00:52:55 No, there won't be. I don't think so. The age of some of them, they haven't got WhatsApp. Shall I start one? I'll start one with Tony Blackburn and Whispering Barbarous and work backwards from there. Oh, yeah. Have you gotten to Tony Blackburn's number?
Starting point is 00:53:04 Can we get Tony Blackburn on this? He must have kids work backwards from there. Oh, yeah. Have you gotten to Tony Blackburn's number? Can we get Tony Blackburn on this? He must have kids. Yeah, he's brilliant. Should I get him on? Let's get Tony Blackburn. Yeah. He's got kids. He's got a couple of kids.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Oh, that'd be good. But Sarah's great. Yeah, no, we love Sarah a lot. She's brilliant. I love Sarah Cox. Thrown is her book, which is out now in paperback. And her memoirs as well. I bet that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:53:21 It's quite interesting that she obviously is pining for loads of animals because she's living on that farm. Brilliant Sarah Cox. Listen to her on the radio, buy her book, watch her show, and we'll be back on Tuesday of another episode. Cheers, guys. Bye. If you are not in the queue and you are waiting, then step to the side.
Starting point is 00:53:41 He got in touch. He said, Yeah, sorry, mate, you didn't seem like yourself the other day. You've only met me three times. The self-service checkout. I don't care what you're called. I'm not getting tricked into working here. People at festivals in those stupid jester hats. I glanced at a tampon.
Starting point is 00:53:55 £2.69 for a bottle of water. Why is your Wi-Fi code 10 characters long? It starts guiding you. I don't care if you're watching. Boots, cut, jeans. What's upset you now? I'm Sean Walsh. And I'm Paul McCaffrey. I don't care if you're watching Boost Cut Jeans. What's upset you now? I'm Sean Walsh.
Starting point is 00:54:09 And I'm Paul McCaffrey. We are the hosts of What's Upset You Now? The UK's angriest podcast. And we are back for Series 5. Booyah! We all love a good moan, don't we? And Sean and I, well, Sean mostly, are two of the best in the absolute business. And every Tuesday and Thursday, we moan about all those little things that really get our goat. We also have guests.
Starting point is 00:54:31 What guests have we had, Sean? We have had Romesh Ranganathan, Rob Beckett, Mark Lamar, Joe Brand, Catherine Ryan, Tom Allen. 15-minute episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Brand new What's Up Set You Now Series 5. Out now. Oh, for God's sake. Soap from the Box is the ultimate behind-the-scenes podcast, and we're back for
Starting point is 00:54:51 a bigger and better Season 4. Amanda Holden. Hello. Hello, son. I used to say to you, you will never hear a roar like that ever in your lifetime. When McCartney came over and we had a photo with my mum. And my mum going,
Starting point is 00:55:07 oh, you're that dirty beetle that used to come to my house. I'm TV director Lee Salisbury and I speak to the biggest stars of some of the biggest shows on television. Craters and explosions going off all over the place. You're walking through it
Starting point is 00:55:20 and you're just going, how have I ended up here? And some pop music legends. That was the most important one there at the end. Yes. Thanks, dude. I am here to jingle. Listen wherever you get your podcasts
Starting point is 00:55:33 or for the whole show, sign up now free for exclusive content at anotherslice.com slash Soap in the Box.

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