Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S6 EP19: The one where Josh isn't worried about turning 40....

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs...... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or, hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be
Starting point is 00:00:29 honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with fox can you say rob beckett rob beck. And can you say Josh Willicombe? Josh Willicombe. Good boy. There we go. Good boy. Sounds like a dog. Wow.
Starting point is 00:00:51 His name's Fox. What? He's 44 months old. Like Fox Mulder. So he's four. Fox. Fox. Fox.
Starting point is 00:00:59 It's a difficult name to live up to, Fox, isn't it? Because of Fox Mulder or just because of the whole thing that foxes are cool? Okay, Josh, say hello, I'mosh to me hello i'm josh hello i'm fox yeah you've got questions well you you're not a fox rob no i'd look who do we know that could be fox oh even fox molder struggles i think and he's an alien detective. An alien detective. Oh, God. Right, Josh, shall we explain what's going on here? Rob, you're struggling, aren't you? Well, normally we record at 10am, don't we?
Starting point is 00:01:36 And I basically, we do school runs and then have a cup of coffee. Are you wearing a fucking dressing gown? Yes, I am, because it's freezing in my shed, because I've got a little heater thing, but it comes on about 8, 9ish to warm it up for the day. Yeah. So I'm a bit cold and it's 7.30am. Oh my God. On the cold light of day where you say it,
Starting point is 00:01:51 I've done something awful. I've done something terrible. No, it's fine. I don't... This was regular. I couldn't cope. But so basically you're off somewhere and you need to record earlier.
Starting point is 00:02:01 So we're here recording earlier. Yeah. I look like I'm'm i'd say really ill and i've just popped out of the ward for this you do look like you've nipped out the front of the hospital for a cigarette yeah i look like you know them people that are absolutely fucked they're on a drip but they're still smoking i look like one of them yeah so yeah i'm fine you look unbelievable you look better now than you do when you normally record thank you very much yes i look great your hair's normal you look fresh you got your little jacket on what do you mean my hair's normal because normally it's all puffed up like sandy tosvig yeah i think it's
Starting point is 00:02:34 been too yeah it's coming off here we go dressing gown ass coat that's one of the basketball t-shirts one of my basketball t-shirts who hates yeah so that's fine and so what's happened have you just got me on here vulnerable so you can bully me? No, no, no, no I've got to go Where are you going? What's happening? This is a sad indictment of my life
Starting point is 00:02:52 We're going away for a night to the pig, which is very nice Which was a present brought to me by my agent About three years ago To give you an idea of my life This is the sixth reschedule of it Right We've had to reschedule of it right we've had to reschedule it six times okay have you missed it in the past is that why you're leaving so early no it's not why we're leaving so early why are you leaving so early it's a fucking hotel
Starting point is 00:03:14 you're checking into through because someone someone booked lunch at 12 30 at the pig at the pig where is the fucking pig? New Forest. It's an hour and a half from Waterloo. Hour and a half from the train? All right, okay, cool. Oh, yeah, so if we record at 10, you're straight. My train's at 10.30. I've got to drop my kids at school. Yeah, but I think going to someone,
Starting point is 00:03:36 if someone said, oh, fucking hell, book lunch for 12.30, that is lunch. Yeah, no, and also it was me. Oh, right. That is lunch. That's a normal time for lunch yeah yeah i know but i didn't really think it through when i right anyway but you've saved me you've saved me it's fine you you were pushing for earlier than this oh you know let's just get it done six eight i was up at six packing packing you need a pair of pants that's it
Starting point is 00:04:02 you're going for a night i know I set my alarm too early I got up at six And I was like Actually I don't really need to do much here You're going to be the first person in history To have jet lag in the New Forest From East London Yeah first night
Starting point is 00:04:17 We just sort of stayed up as late as we could And then just hit the hay You seem quite manic at the moment though Joshosh yeah i think you're getting stressed about your 40 i'm really stressed about turning 40 if you keep texting me to change times it's fine i'm not bothered we change it to 1992 please that's the time i want to change to rob but um yeah i am stressed about my 40th rob you seem a bit everything's a bit amped up which is fine not about my 40th when anyone says i'm not stressed about my 40th, it normally feels like they are, because...
Starting point is 00:04:48 I am. But I'm not stressed in the normal way. Josh, some people turn 40 and no one else knows it's happened. Yeah, well, they're the most stressed, Rob. No, they're not. Because they're keeping it to themselves. At least I'm being public about it. No, they're not bothered.
Starting point is 00:05:01 No, they are bothered, Rob. Everyone's bothered about... That's what I thought. I wasn't bothered, Rob. I thought I're not bothered. No, they are bothered, Rob. Everyone's bothered about... That's what... I thought I wasn't bothered, Rob. I thought I wasn't bothered. I've got mates that'll be like, was it your birthday last week? Yeah, how old are you? I was 40.
Starting point is 00:05:11 I went, all right, yeah. And that's it. No one cares. And do you know what? Their internal monologue is going, yeah, I'm playing it down. People think I'm cool with being 40. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:19 No one thinks you're cool with being 40. You think your mate's been cool with being 40. Honestly, men from South East London don't give a shit about their birthdays. It's like a proven fact. It's like a science experiment. They don't care. I think the more East London, Stoke Newington,
Starting point is 00:05:32 middle class you get, blokes start caring. Working class women care, I'd say. That's the thing. Most men from working class areas could not give a shit about their birthday. So you're not going to give a shit about turning 40? No. Even though, for the last two years,
Starting point is 00:05:46 you've been talking about how you want to look like Gary Barlow for when you get 40? Yeah, only because it felt like a, I think if you're going to try and get fit and get into a point where your body's in shape, if you try after 40, this isn't about me worrying, but I think actually your body starts to fail you.
Starting point is 00:06:00 That I think I need to get ahead of the curve. Oh God, I don't need to hear that Rob. I'm just saying, if you want to get fit, you need to really have the wheels in motion and your body needs to be used to training before you're 40. Because if you try after 40, it's more difficult. Yeah, fair enough. I accept that. So what's stressing you about turning 40?
Starting point is 00:06:16 Because you look all right. Everything, Rob. It's not that I want to be young and vital. I've given up on that. Do you know what you are now? You're that boring old comedian that we used to hate when we started comedy. I know. We didn't hate them, Rob.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I did. I wanted their approval. Why don't young people want my approval, Rob? I wanted their space. Well, that's part of it. You know, there's two types of comedians. There's older comedians that really like young comedians and are quite excited by it. Go on. You know, there's two types of comedians. Yeah. There's older comedians that really like young comedians
Starting point is 00:06:46 and are quite excited by it. So like your Joe Brands or your Jack Dees. Or your... Very supportive. Yeah. Really supportive. Yeah. And then there's old comedians that feel resentful
Starting point is 00:06:58 of young comedians coming up on the rails. And do you know what I do to those, Josh? The ones that were horrible to me when I started out. Yeah. And I see them at like festivals and stuff. And they'll try and be matey with me. Yeah. Because now I've got a semi-successful podcast.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Do you know what I do to them? You've got a successful podcast, Rob. Let's say it. Do you know what I do to them, Josh? That's all I've got. You know, some people take them on a high ground. Yeah. I don't.
Starting point is 00:07:21 I take the bitter low ground. Yeah. And I go, oh, yeah. Why don't you fuck off, mate? I don't actually say it to him. That's what I'm thinking. No, but it's implicit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Or what I will do is sort of be a little bit just off with them and then just slag them off when they leave. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's the best way. That's the best way. That's the best way to do it, isn't it? There's one, Rob.
Starting point is 00:07:39 There's one that was so horrible to me. He hated me. I won't name him. We used to be called the T-shirt and jeans comedians. How pathetic was that? We did, Rob. Why are we so... Now I'm getting up at 7.30 to talk to you about parenting
Starting point is 00:07:52 and then I'm going to the pig for lunch. And you're stressed about getting a train at half 11. Half 10. Oh, sorry, half 10. Yeah, that is super early. It's because I've got to do the school drop-off on the way, because I'm square. Right, okay, so you're driving to do the school.
Starting point is 00:08:08 So what time have you got to leave the house for the school drop-off? Nine. God, you're cutting this fine, aren't you? Yeah, I know, Rob. God, that's what I'm saying. We've got quite a lot of stuff to get through for the listener today. I know, Rob. This is the situation I'm in.
Starting point is 00:08:22 You've changed your tune from you getting up a bit early nah I'm just I'm starting to wake up now this is the problem with me and you the power shifts as the day goes on you start getting weaker
Starting point is 00:08:31 I start getting stronger yeah it's 7.43 I'm lost we're like those radio DJs we were slagging off how do they do it every morning
Starting point is 00:08:40 I'm here at half seven talking to you about my kids oh so anyway there's the older comedians there's the one that I really hate yeah it was absolutely vile to me last time i saw him at a gig i will tell you if you see us in the street we will tell you though yeah and you won't have heard of him that's not what it works the bitter ones are the shit ones last time i saw him at a gig rob he asked me what my daughter was called yeah and then he said oh she's gonna get
Starting point is 00:09:02 bullied at school oh genuinely. Genuinely unbelievable. No, yeah. We don't do that. We just sort of imply it, don't we? When we talk about kids' names on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Exactly, exactly. Also, I think your daughter's name is quite normal, really. It's not... So do I, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Vixen's a lovely name. Named after my favourite gladiator.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Was that a gladiator? I don't know. Probably. Probably. What's good about starting early is I feel like I'm going to finish early. It's like plumbers that turn up at your house at 7.30am and then they're gone by three. Yeah, exactly. That's the dream, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:09:36 Gone by three. Oh, I've got a story about my plumber, actually. Do you want me to quickly tell you that and then we'll get back into me being worried about being forced? Yeah, go on, yeah. So our pump has broken. So he's getting us a new pump. Yeah. Which means basically there's no water pressure in the top rooms.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Bit like when you were pissing, weird. Yeah, when was that? I can't remember what that was for, but yeah. It's one of your ailments. Oh my God, why am I so old? You need to go to the toilet, it will dribble in and out because you were ill. Oh, that was it, yeah. So I sent this yesterday, I didn't know it was dribbling out because you were ill oh that was it yeah so i sent this yesterday i didn't know who's coming what's now today fucking hell see i told
Starting point is 00:10:09 you you'll start powering down you've peaked at half six i did i'm so good at half six but i was like oh shit we're out so he can't come today so i thought i'll better text him so hey mate are you planning on coming tomorrow we actually don't have anyone in in the day but could try and leave the keys with neighbors if so but i wanted to be i didn't want to look pressuring right hey mate i'm not sure about hey mate with a plumber either no why not sticking a brother sometimes do you b-r-u-v-v-a brother you coming next yeah just sort of like right yeah i think you can get away with that i'm not he likes it hello hello mate or hi mate. Hey does feel a bit like you're a teenage boy
Starting point is 00:10:46 approaching a girl in the mall in America. Hey, hey. Right, yeah, okay. So, God, I always go with hey, mate. Hey, my boy. Do you know what I always do? And I've noticed other people do this. If you're delivering bad news,
Starting point is 00:10:58 like you can't make it to something, I'll always put hey, mate. I don't like the hey, mate. On the start of a text. That wasn't even the bit of the text that I've been feeling insecure about Rob so I put
Starting point is 00:11:08 hey mate you planning on coming tomorrow I'm trying to be cool here we actually don't have anyone in in the day but you can try and leave the keys with a neighbour
Starting point is 00:11:14 if so otherwise no pressure literally no pressure that's what he's there for and that's why as soon as I sent it I was worried that it looked like
Starting point is 00:11:22 I was going otherwise we've got no pressure you can come got no pressure. Yeah, you can come, otherwise, no pressure. Okay, no heating, cold children. If that's what you want, mate, then we're not going to have any pressure.
Starting point is 00:11:35 What did he reply? No, I then followed it up. Oh, no. I mean no pressure on you to come tomorrow. That wasn't a water pun. Oh, no. He thinks you've done a joke and you've panicked and rescued it. That's the problem now.
Starting point is 00:11:50 It was a disaster, Rob. An absolute disaster. Would you have followed it up? Well, I wouldn't have. I would have ignored that. What? The no pressure, no pressure misunderstanding? I would have just left it.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I don't think he's really replying to text messages looking at nuance. Have you ever seen a plumber's photo reel on their phone? It's mental. It's just carcasses of attics, cupboards, pipework, pipes with circles drawn on it. Oh, it's unbelievable. My mate, he was going, oh, yeah, I went to the football last week. And he went through, I'd say, a thousand photos of pipes. Yeah, it was great.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It was him at the football. No pressure. So did he come round no he's not coming today evening mate pump arriving tomorrow so actually you need to receive it and then make a plan
Starting point is 00:12:31 and then he's replied specifically to my second text oh no and put one of your finest do you know what he's done he's pulled your little trousers down slapped your bum
Starting point is 00:12:40 put it in front of the telly and went I'll crack all in my day you think it's a bit of jokes? Fucking hell. To be fair, it wasn't meant to be a joke. It wasn't meant to be a joke. Well, that's the thing with you.
Starting point is 00:12:53 You are a funny little fella. Do you know what I mean? So you're not always working to... There's a difference, isn't it? You are just a naturally funny bloke because you just... You've got your quirks, Josh, haven't you? You think a lot, you know, you send those sort of messages you think too much it sort of comes across quite funny doesn't it even when you're not writing jokes but that's a gift i'd say well it's it's a gift and a curse and do you worry that that will sort of as you turn 40 you'll become sort of red face gammon
Starting point is 00:13:18 gb news angry at the world no i won't actually i think i'm going in the other direction you're gonna so you're not gonna go angry old man when you turn 40? No. I think I've kind of just gone, oh, well, that was my time. And now it's over to the rest of them. I'm done. Really? But then Ricky Gervais didn't even start doing comedy until he was mid-40s.
Starting point is 00:13:38 No, and look how angry he is now, Rob. He's absolutely fucking livid. And he's really successful. So are you suggesting that anyone listening to this at 40 that maybe is thinking of a career change and pushing on and doing something different and nothing to give the world? Do you know what? I know my agent listens to this.
Starting point is 00:13:57 And I know that I'm never seriously going to do it. But on Friday I was thinking, maybe I should just in a years, just do something else. Maybe I should, like, learn a foreign language or... This is a midlife crisis. What? This is a midlife crisis. What you're experiencing is a midlife crisis.
Starting point is 00:14:14 No, it's not. No, it's not. It is. And it's not... Crisis is the word people use. But I'm doing it in the other direction. I'm not getting a motorbike. I'm going, maybe I should really lean into being old.
Starting point is 00:14:25 What, by learning Spanish? There's a lot of old Spaniards out there. It's because of their diet. High in olivio spread. That's Italians. So I think a midlife crisis isn't just getting a motorbike or something like that. It's sort of self-reflection and panic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:43 And then that manifests in different ways but i've been self-reflective i've had a midlife crisis since i was about 20 in that case the worrying part is josh i think this is the most mentally sound you've ever been it's a good job we got your head together before you turned 40 because this could be absolute garbage you could be in a strip club off your face on drugs but luckily you're just doing duolingo but i don't i don't want to be in a strip club off my face and drugs. I'm bored with drinking. I'm quite bored with the Premier League, Rob.
Starting point is 00:15:09 How can you be bored with the Premier League? Who am I anymore? I don't know. I just can't get into it. United beat Liverpool 7-0 the other week. No, they didn't. They lost 7-0. No, whatever. But you know what I mean. The Arsenal-Bulmer game was amazing. I just don't know who I am anymore, Rob. Oh, God, John.
Starting point is 00:15:25 What's happening? You're just a 40-year-old bloke, mate, that no one cares about, really, ultimately. That's what we all are. Oh, God. You're a 40-year-old bloke that no one really cares about and have no impact on the world like everyone else on earth. Exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:15:35 So just get your head down and plough on. That's it. That is what it is. There's nothing else going to happen. There's no legacy. There's no big impact. You just float along. But that's the realization i've made rob i think i for the last 20 years wanted a legacy and a big impact i don't think i give a shit anymore no i think i'm quite happy just
Starting point is 00:15:58 sitting at home being me sure so why are you panicking so much about turning 40 then, if that's how you feel? Because I'm panicking that I've lost my drive, Rob. Okay, so this is different. So what's happened is you've become quite happy and content. Yeah, I don't like it, Rob. Right, okay. So this is the first stage of being zen, essentially, isn't it? That you calm it all down and you're less productive and less manic because you're, you know, you've been a bit more chilled.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Yeah. You're worried you're losing your mojo. You've lost your drive. Yeah, well, I'm not even worried about it. I'm quite happy with it. I don't know if this is happy. Am I? Don't know anymore.
Starting point is 00:16:33 7.30am, moaning about being 40. I've got to stop drinking. I'm dressing smart. Oh, what's going on, Rob? Everything about me, I'm becoming boring and I quite like it. That's fine. Obviously, people don't want to hang out with you,
Starting point is 00:16:44 but if you're happy there, I think it's going well for you, Josh. Do you know, I looked at Instagram earlier. Okay, looked at it, yeah. I went downstairs at 6am to make a cup of tea. Yeah. Went on Instagram. Do you follow Daniel Fox? He's excellent, Rob.
Starting point is 00:16:57 He's a young comedian. He's brilliant. Do you know him? Daniel Fox? No, I think I do. Has he got, like, the bleached blonde hair? Yeah, he's so funny. Yeah, okay. I've not seen much of his stuff. Right, I think I do. Has he got like the bleached blonde hair? Yeah, he's so funny. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I've not seen much of his stuff. Right, one of his videos came up. And I was like, I don't want to compete with this. These guys are too good. Let them have their time. I'm done. They don't need me anymore. They never needed you.
Starting point is 00:17:18 They never needed me in the first place. It's over. What's over? I don't know. Green rooms. I don't know. Green rooms don't know right i think though everyone when they get to 40 we'll talk about our kids in a minute when it gets to 40 you do decide whether you're going to push on in your career and keep going keep going keep going and be a career person or you sort of get to a certain
Starting point is 00:17:40 level and think you know what i can't be bothered with the corporate promotions sort of lifestyle i'll just stick in this job see what i can get out of it and do that yeah so what you're doing here josh plateauing yeah i'm plateauing yeah in a good way everyone plateaus at some point it's just when you choose to do it or when the job chooses for you to do it yeah but choosing to do it yourself is the right thing isn't it well i think you're quite competitive josh and a bit like me yeah but i think that's that's dying out of me a bit well you used to compare yourself to other people like i used to do i've got they're doing this they're doing that i need to do this i need to do that yeah i didn't like that yeah but you're not really engaging with that that was your life like you used to look at
Starting point is 00:18:22 the podcast charts a lot. I did, yeah. But you don't do that anymore, do you? No, I don't actually, Rob. I don't. That's good. Yeah. I don't want to be Alistair Campbell in my 60s shouting at the world because the bloody undercover chairman
Starting point is 00:18:36 or whatever that guy's called is number one. What's that called? Undercover chairman. Oh, the Diary of a CEO. Yeah. I'm the diary of a CEO. Undercover chair. He's not a very good undercover chair,
Starting point is 00:18:53 but he's on the telly every week. He's a bloody dragon's den, mate. A bit of undercover work as a dragon. So I think basically, if what you're trying to do is become more chilled and not beat yourself up so much yeah and become quite zen basically if you do that you do sort of calm down and you don't really care what people think of you and if they like you you just sort of do your thing however i don't know about the difficulty in this job is if people don't like us we don't earn money you have to get people's approval as a comedian
Starting point is 00:19:25 because you need them to buy a ticket. I think in many ways I'm more likeable now, Rob, because I'm chilled. Maybe, but I find... Listen to me over the last 21 minutes, I've never been more chilled in my life. True, but I find anyone that refers to themselves as likeable is quite unlikable, and that's something I've learnt.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Yeah. I think you are likeable, but when people go, I'm just a really likeable guy, I'm like, mm. Oh, yeah. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. That's a good point. I think you are likable but when people go I'm just a really likable guy I'm like oh yeah I agree I agree I agree that's a good point
Starting point is 00:19:48 but I think turning 40 you're worried about if the fire in your belly is dying out yeah and if that'll have an impact yeah but I'm quite enjoying
Starting point is 00:19:56 the fire in my belly dying out we'll see I'll keep you updated week on week Rob about my breakdown yeah so breakdown 2022
Starting point is 00:20:04 was mental breakdown this is a kind of spiritual age-based spiritual breakdown because it's true the more calm you become and less you know what i would say about anxiety it makes you very efficient to a point of exhaustion yeah exactly how are your kids how are my kids yeah they're all good well actually i've been annoying lou quite a lot recently oh yes talk to me so i've not been working that much because we was doing that little work in progress tour and then the tours was the fire gone rob no the fire's not gone because what i do is i just like the fight so this is what i i the way i dealt with it i was becoming very relaxed and zen and like well whatever happens happens it is what it is
Starting point is 00:20:41 and all that however you can't really take that approach when you're in front of 2 000 people doing stand-up no no because it's sort of well it's not what is what it is is it rob it's fucking 25 quid a ticket make me laugh so what i used to do it so i would pre-gig be very zen and calm and do meditating and try and chill out because i can't actually control or have an impact on the gig in the two hours before yeah if i went through every single joke i've ever written to prepare i'd be exhausted yeah fuck that i don't even impact on the gig in the two hours before. If I went through every single joke I've ever written to prepare, I'd be exhausted. Yeah, fuck that. I don't even think about the gig.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Exactly. So that when I walk on, at one point, I was walking on a little bit too chilled. Yeah. But then I'm not actually in the moment here because the moment is me in front of loads of people. I'm a show off. I've got loads of jokes.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Go and do it. Yeah. Go and be in that moment, be funny and silly. And then I was sort of almost like lighting the fire as i walk out you don't want the fire burning all the time is what we had yeah yeah yeah because you get exhausted and burn out you run out of fuel i've run out of fuel big time mate awful time as well to run out of fuel during the ukraine russia crisis exactly so what i do more now i treat it like a little electric fire and i turn it on when i need
Starting point is 00:21:45 it like when i'm about to do a tv show stand up and things like that yeah anyway so i've not been working as much which means the fire naturally burns yes because i haven't got anywhere to sort of expend the energy and the more happy i get the more annoyed lou gets and lou gets burned she gets burned by my flames yeah yeah we're like she was getting quite stressed this morning because basically i normally do the school run but i'm not doing it today because you've got to go for fucking lunch sorry sorry lou honestly it doesn't matter but we were trying to do spellings and stuff like that and she was like i've got to do this got to do that and i take the kids it's fine not a problem and i just said to her lou have you thought about
Starting point is 00:22:20 chillaxing oh dear like in a sort of fun ironic way yeah yeah like i know have you thought about chillaxing oh dear like in a sort of fun ironic way yeah yeah like have you thought about taking a chill pill like so i thought that's a bit of fun and she's nice the eyes change i think maybe the fire in our belly's gone to my wife's eyes because i know she loves me but sometimes the eyes don't lie if the eyes are a window to the soul. Then I think I've lost a soul, mate. Because sometimes... I am annoying, though, because when I'm up, I'm so incessantly up, it's actually quite hard work to be around. And I normally...
Starting point is 00:22:52 She farms me out to a gig. So when the tour comes around... Yeah. Oh, God. So Lou kind of wants you gigging at all times. Like a dog that needs to be run. Yes, essentially, yeah. So I'd say, you know know i do the radio show on
Starting point is 00:23:06 a sunday this on a monday and then i probably need two or three gigs of tv filming stuff in the week yes you know so like the week i do blankety blank she's gonna be all over me because i've just exercised those demons on card with marker pen in front of bradley walsh jemma collins and dean rusher smith exactly rob i mean you surely you'll be nice and burned out now because you've Walsh, Gemma Collins and Dina Asher-Smith. Exactly, Rob. I mean, surely you'll be nice and burned out now because you did Radio 2 last night. Yeah. About 12 hours later, you're back doing this.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Yeah, and I played football. Yeah, and you had a sleep in between. Yeah, exactly. Well, so last time, we'd been listening to that Michael Seeley to go to sleep, like, together, and it's really working. But Lou did it on her Spotify. She hasn't got Spotify premium, so they started doing holidays to the Barbados halfway through. together, and it's really working. But Lou did it on her Spotify. She hasn't got Spotify Premium, so they started doing holidays to the Barbados halfway through.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Oh, for God's sake. Talk about life insurance. Rob, Lou hasn't got Spotify Premium. I know, you'd think she would. Sort her out, mate. Well, actually, she went, well, I had to download it to listen to your podcast. I was like, all right, I'll get enough of that online.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Come on down, will you? Anyway, oh, that's one thing. Talk about the radio show. Turning 40, Josh, you will start to have very strong opinions about the radio 2 lineup yes i have yes yeah so you i think you really start i love paul gambaccini on a saturday afternoon oh gambo god i'm old fucking hell what's going on with me right so my kids oh so talk about this josh homework i don't know if you saw my Instagram story. Oh, a couple of things.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Also, I was trending, well, UK, because there was a bloke on Starstruck that looked like me doing Bon Jovi. Oh, that's good. Have you seen him? No. Let me have a look. What do I go on? Instagram or Twitter?
Starting point is 00:24:37 How old am I? Put in Starstruck, Bon Jovi. See what comes up. On what? Just the internet. Just Starstruck. Miscellaneous internet. Bon Jovi. Yeah, it up. On what? Just the internet. Just miscellaneous internet. Bon Jovi.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Yeah, it's a news story on Wales Online. Oh, yeah, yeah. That guy. So I stood up eating a takeaway pizza, and I had that message read about a thousand times. So that was Saturday night. Oh, yeah, I buy that. You got that?
Starting point is 00:24:59 I buy that. He does look like you. God, people do look like you, don't they, Rob? Yeah, but I tell you what, though, Josh, it's worrying when you start trending in the uk and you don't know why yeah yeah yeah what have i said do you think it all happened what's been clipped up what's been filmed what's been leaked and then sunday we um my daughter eldest daughter homework also by the way her spellings are getting too hard now. One of her spellings this morning was thousand.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Thousand? Yeah, it's a hard word, isn't it, for a seven-year-old? Thousand? Yeah, that is true. Do you think it's a F, don't you? Do you? Well, no, not now, but yeah, it sounds like an F, doesn't it, thousand?
Starting point is 00:25:37 Especially when your dad sounds like me. Southeast London, yeah. I was going to say, do they not go in Southeast London, you can spell it with an F? No, we spell it B-A- it bag we just call it a bag just write bag just write bag you'll be fine teacher will know 500 or just a monkey just write monkey down yeah what's a pony 250 i think 250 okay a monkey's 500 and a bag's a grand a bag's a grand your 20s a score 25 is a pony sorry tons 100 500 a And a bag's a grand. A bag's a grand. A 20's a score.
Starting point is 00:26:05 25's a pony, sorry. Tons a hundred. 500 a monkey. A thousand's a grand. One of the greatest Cockney mainstream words, a grand. Is that a Cockney word, grand? Well, yeah. Originally, it says here.
Starting point is 00:26:16 The other word that annoys me that got nicked by posh people was Jack White or nicking the word melt. It's not a posh boy word. They've got loads of fucking words. He went to private school. His vocabulary's outrageous. posh boy word they've got loads of fucking words he went to private school his vocabulary is outrageous keep giving my word back here we go here we go can i can i ask you a question can you tell me about melt because all i know about it is jack whitehall says it a lot so a melt is that oh you absolute melt so if someone's a bit like wishy
Starting point is 00:26:41 washy or pathetic go oh yeah i'm not gonna come out tonight because I had a drink on Tuesday and I'm a bit tired. Oh, you melt. It's a bit like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, like me. What's that? Am I a melt? No, no, occasionally you might be a bit of a melt. I preferred the start of that sentence
Starting point is 00:26:56 where you just confidently said no. No, never. You're never a melt, Josh, absolutely not. So I think... Yeah, thank you very much. Whitehall, and I like Whitehall, he's a good bloke. Yeah, he's a lovely man. I think Jamie Redknapp used to call him a melt all the time
Starting point is 00:27:06 because Jamie Redknapp's a bit cockney, isn't he? Oh, he did, yeah, yeah. And then Jack Whitehall took it and then he just calls everyone a melt. I think he used to do it in another run, taking the mickey out of Jamie Redknapp way, and now he just calls everyone a melt. Yeah. All the words he must have learnt at those private...
Starting point is 00:27:19 He went to Marlborough College. Let us have melt back, mate. I don't know many words. No, if I say it, they're like, oh, what, like Jack White? Oh, no, not fucking Jack... Is that me saying tallywhacker? What does that... That's not a word! It's a posh word, isn't it? Tallywhacker for a knob, isn't it? Is it?
Starting point is 00:27:36 Tallywhacker. You've never heard of tallywhacker? No. Tallywhackers, yeah. Oh, he got his tallywhacker out. Good old Mr Jones. You know. Oh, I'd love a documentary where you go and hang out at a private school. I thought about that. Me going to like Eton with like people. I should go to Eton with Ivo Graham.
Starting point is 00:27:51 You and Ivo should do a documentary where you both introduce each other to your childhoods. I'd be interested in that. Yeah. Okay. I'll ring Ivo. See if he wants to do it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Cool. Phone him now. Call him now? 8am? Yeah. Probably not. he likes getting up later than me right do you want to hear an east london story oh i've got to talk about this homework and then i'll tell you about east london story so it's on my instagram josh i don't know
Starting point is 00:28:14 if you've seen it but the homework was i don't look at instagram enough rob rob you had to look earlier at young comedians to see if you were better than them earlier no i didn't have a look at young comedians you did you looked at it and you saw a kid with fire in his eyes, like Rocky III. He's got the eye of the tiger. He's coming up. He's hot. He's smashing all the gigs.
Starting point is 00:28:31 He's funnier than you. He cares about it. He wants it more than you, Josh. And do you know what you did? You lied down and took it, you absolute pussy. No, this is not happening. Come on, eye of the tiger. Club of lands on your case, you Rocky.
Starting point is 00:28:42 I'm Apollo. Let's get down the beach. Let's run. Let's get it back into you. Let's go into the pig for lunch on a Monday. Who the fuck do you think you are? Prince Andrew? I don't know why I said Prince Andrew.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah, he'd be looking at young comedians on Instagram, but that's a very different... Sorry, go on. No, he comes up because I like his stuff so much that he's one of those people that comes up the top all the time. Yeah, no, he's good. Anyway. Anyway, so what I'm saying is this homework,
Starting point is 00:29:13 it's on my Instagram if you want to see it. Yeah. But basically... Yeah, I'm on it now. I'm on it now. So look at that latest video. There's a sheet of leaves we've got to find, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you've been anywhere near a tree. That tick on larch isn't very good rob you should have brought a clipboard look basically there was like 10 12 different leaves and there was a home there are no leaves on the trees joff there's no leaves on the trees i've walked around the park there's not a fucking i couldn't there was not a leaf it weren't like oh this is just all oak trees here there was not a leaf on a thing yeah that is surely wait a few months
Starting point is 00:29:45 for the leaf identification. That's also when it's warmer. It was three degrees and no leaves. I'm just wandering around going, what is this? And I said, this is a bit of a challenge, isn't it? And then my daughter went,
Starting point is 00:29:56 homework should be a challenge, Dad. And I was like, whose kid is this fucking nerd? What is that? Homework should be a challenge. Yeah, but you can't invent a leaf. Anyway, so that was my Sunday. Oh, Rob.
Starting point is 00:30:10 That is unbelievable. Why didn't you just tick them all? They'll never know. No, they wanted photos of the leaves. They wanted photos? They also wanted a photo of my daughter in the park or wherever it was doing the hunt with a tick list. So I found a photo and I made sure there was as many bare trees in the background as I possibly could.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Nice. Well done. Basically, Larch and Holly. It's the only thing knocking about. See, that's the difference between East Lark. So should I tell you about my situation with my daughter on Sunday? Yeah. We were going to Epping Forest.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Lovely. Yeah. But then my son, his nap just went on for ages. And we were like, by the time we get to Epping Forest, we're going to have to come back. Yeah, he's a killer, that nap. Because it's good that they do it, but you can't go anywhere. No, exactly. What's his nap at the moment?
Starting point is 00:30:53 On Sunday, it was 12 till 3. That is really long. It's really long, which is great. Is he sleeping at night as well? Yeah. What are you fucking moaning about then? I'm not moaning about anything. I'm moaning about being 40.
Starting point is 00:31:05 How old's your kid? Youngest. He is two in May. We weren't doing naps at two. My two stopped at 18 months. No, but he's a Beckett, isn't he? He's a Beckett. You were up at 4am and never napping when you were a kid.
Starting point is 00:31:18 The fire burns strong. Yours have got fire strong. Mate, he has not got a fire in his belly, I tell you that. He's a happy little guy. He's not like me. He's a happy little snoozer, isn't he? He's a happy little snoozer. He doesn't take after his dad, I'll tell you that for free.
Starting point is 00:31:35 He gets more in his naps than you get at night. Yeah, exactly. But you can't go out for the day at three. No, exactly. So there was two of our friends had gone for like a Sunday lunch in a pub with their dads. Yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:48 They were like, why don't you just bring your daughter here? It's quite a family friendly pub. You can have a drink. She can play with her friends. Nice. The Liverpool Mania game's on.
Starting point is 00:31:55 I wasn't that fussed because the fire's gone for the Premier League. Yeah, I think you don't love life anymore, Josh. How can you not? No, I'm worried about that.
Starting point is 00:32:03 The Premier League is the most exciting it's been for you. Like, the underdog look like they're going to win it. I know. They've got the big money team of not doing very well. Newcastle are doing well. Tottenham are doing badly. Man United, Liverpool are battering each other.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I know, but I think it's because Plymouth are top of League One. I can't think about any other football. But your fire's in your belly for that league? Yeah, to the point where I care too much that I can't enjoy anything to do with it. Right, so, OK, so if you don't care... So when Plymouth went 1-0 up on Saturday, I then just had to hide my phone until way beyond full time
Starting point is 00:32:37 because I didn't want any updates. So basically, if you don't care about it, you don't enjoy it. Yeah. And if you really care about it, you don't enjoy it either. Correct. Welcome to my life. I'm just trying to work out what bits you enjoy yeah nothing championship championship that's the middle in between no i don't know but so plymouth are playing tomorrow night they're playing at home i'm already like i just wish they didn't have to play it's too important it's too tense so there's some fire anyway yeah true yeah you you are a real mix of
Starting point is 00:33:06 not completely non-plussed and care to the nth degree if we don't go up this year rob it's the greatest injustice in history i'll be absolutely heartbroken okay i love that team it feels like especially on your 40th don't imagine that turning for you kind of stealing league one after that season the great start you had. Don't. Right, anyway. Derby come through. Money team. No, Derby aren't going to come through. Anyway, please.
Starting point is 00:33:30 When is your actual birthday? Is it April? April, yeah. April the 8th. Went to this pub. Can everyone message Josh on April the 8th? There's no way of messaging me. Just saying 40 now.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It's over. I don't check my mentions, so it it's fine you can do that all you want awful way to start trending or just start fly posting in east london victoria park just put posters up the 40 year old saddo lives here so sorry go on we went to the pub my daughter's all playing by the pool table they're my daughters my daughter and her two friends I'm having a nice non-alcoholic beer because I'm driving and square and then this Italian bloke comes over
Starting point is 00:34:11 can't speak a word of English puts down a bottle of wine on our table he's absolutely smashed and just sits down and starts talking to us in Italian, just awful absolutely hammered probably talked to us for 15 minutes and we God. Just awful. Absolutely hammered. Probably talked to us for 15 minutes and we just couldn't understand what he was saying.
Starting point is 00:34:29 He was just off his face. Is that why you want to learn another language? No, I don't want to have to communicate with him. Anyway, then I was like, he went up to the bar to get himself another tequila. Yeah. Sounds like an absolute legend. This guy's got a bit of fire in his belly.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Oh, yeah, it's a fire in his belly. I'll tell you that for free. And we were like, should we just go? I don't know. So we get our doors and we're like, we're going to go. And then we're like, we're just going to go. I was like, I'm going to take her home. The other two are going to a different place where they could watch
Starting point is 00:34:57 Man U versus Liverpool with their daughters. Then, because he's so pissed, when he orders another drink, they go, you've got to leave, mate. Oh, no. Then, right, he basically gets to the door. And you know when someone's at the door having a debate about whether they have to leave because they're drunk?
Starting point is 00:35:11 Mm-hmm. He was there, stuck at the door for about 20 minutes to half an hour. Like, refusing to leave? Refusing to leave. But that means we can't leave because he's basically manning the door. This sounds like an absolute fire-death trap, this pub.
Starting point is 00:35:25 No other exits. No, no other... It was like Shaun of the Dead, you know, when they're stuck in the pub in Shaun of the Dead. It was like that. We're stuck in the pub. We've got our daughters, we've got their coats on. They don't understand what's going on.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Then he gets thrown out. Yeah. Right? But he's then outside the front of the pub. This is being a parent in East London. This is what my daughter and her two friends are up to. Yeah. On Sunday afternoon. That is what my daughter and her two friends are up to on Sunday afternoon.
Starting point is 00:35:46 That is them looking out of a pub window at a man being thrown out of a pub and refusing to leave. What's mental is you're living the sort of middle class hipster lifestyle. And it's basically the childhood I had in South East London. You're the hipster wankers, but you're giving your children the upbringing I had. On the opposite. Yeah, whereas you're the South East London cockney boy and you're walking through the park with your children identifying leaves, which is the childhood I had in Devon.
Starting point is 00:36:15 How has this happened? It doesn't make any sense. It's because I was starved of countryside and you were starved of city. You love that buzz. The buzz of the Italian man being thrown out of the pub. Well, no, that's a classic people outside of London. Anyone that grew up in London would have been able to swerve that Italian guy.
Starting point is 00:36:33 I would have seen him a mile off. I would have repositioned him, move around. Your sort of instinct, it's in the blood. It's sort of like you with a bog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me with a bog. Yeah, if you see a bog, I'd just walk straight across it, get stuck. You know I had to shimmy round it. You grew up on Dartmoor. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know. Me with a bog. Yeah, if you see a bog, I just walk straight across it, get stuck.
Starting point is 00:36:45 You know I had to shimmy round it. You grew up on Dartmoor. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant a toilet, because I thought it was like... Oh, you're so London now, you don't even know what bogs are. Yeah, I thought you meant a bloody toilet, mate. You know what?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Probably a bloody shitter. Up the old Joanna's. Up Piano's. I don't know why I'd go up a piano. Oh, so there you go. That was some bad parenting, I think. No, it wasn't bad. It's not your fault.
Starting point is 00:37:08 You didn't get the bloke drunk, did you? You didn't go, let's go there. It's a great Italian guy. I want the kids to meet. I did take my daughter to the pub for Sunday afternoon. Yeah, so was there a play area or anything for the kids to do? By the pool table, yeah. They were playing hide and seek within the pub.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that's a great day out for the kids. But she just wanted to see her friends. She's bored of us rob all weekend we've now reached the stage where we have to plan to have stuff going on the whole weekend yes she cannot abide just being in the house with us she gets so bored of course of course she does so what activities and clubs does she do at the moment of the weekend? So she does gymnastics on a Sunday morning. Right. So you got that. So then there's three more blocks that we need to plan each weekend.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Okay. She did a birthday on Saturday morning, which she had a lovely time at. Saturday afternoon, we hadn't planned anything. And she went effing mental. She was having, she was so bored. She was like a teenager. Yeah. Saying she was bored. I couldn't believe was like a teenager yeah saying she was bored I couldn't believe
Starting point is 00:38:07 it was happening so what was you actually doing in the house was you and Rose doing something or was you just sat around reading or watching the telly
Starting point is 00:38:13 no I ended up doing like art stuff with her but there's only so much time she wants she finds us boring Rob you're going to have
Starting point is 00:38:18 to start going to Westfield aren't you she wanted to go to Westfield of course she does because I suggested it and then Rose poo pooed it because it's just too busy to take both go to westfield oh she does because i suggested it and then rose poo-pooed
Starting point is 00:38:25 it because it's just too busy to take the to both kids to westfield on a saturday to get your shoes done can't you just take one we divide and conquer yeah so we divide and conquer that rose didn't want to come to the pub on sunday afternoon yeah fair enough i'd say i'm more in favor of dividing and conquering than roses right okay rose quite likes the idea of seeing me at the weekends. Really? See, Lou's not that bothered about that. He sort of sees enough of me every night in the week. Well, I don't know how much I see of Rose in the week.
Starting point is 00:39:01 How much do you see of Lou in the week? Quite a lot. Yeah. You have a busier schedule than me in the week. You work a bit more of a the week quite a lot yeah you have a busier schedule than me in the week you work a bit more of a nine to five monday to friday when you're doing last leg yeah i do yeah and your podcast and stuff like that where i don't really oh yeah of course yeah i work sundays radio and then gigging now and again and then the odd bit of filming yeah so you work a lot more evenings and stuff yeah and then i will go to like korea for a week yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:39:23 then lou misses me then hopefully lou does miss you a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then Lou misses me then, hopefully. Lou does miss you then, doesn't she? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's implicit. She's just like, what time you home, babe? This keeps happening to me, Josh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:32 My daughters keep wanting me to lie with them in bed to go to sleep and it's getting quite annoying. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Oh, not really. Enjoy it now, Rob. One day,
Starting point is 00:39:40 they won't even want you in the same house as them. I know that, but they go to bed late and you lay there and it gets like nine o'clock. You've not had dinner. One day, they'll be in that room with their boyfriend,
Starting point is 00:39:49 and you'll be lying in your own bed thinking, I wish I was dead. I'll be in there with them. Yeah, I'll lay here. Between you. Make sure you get off to sleep in a deep, deep sleep. Leave the door open, light on, just in case. So what do you do when you lie in your bed with your daughter well like i'll read with them and
Starting point is 00:40:08 then they try and talk and i'm like yeah yeah but we need to go try and get them to stop talking and then sometimes i have my phone but then they love holding my arm and then i've got one of the big phones yeah what do you mean not like the 80s yeah No, but it's the wider version of an iPhone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't really do it one-handed unless you've got absolute lizard thumb. Okay. But I find, though, I'm trying to do it with one hand, and it keeps just falling on my face.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Do you ever have that where the phone falls on your head, and you've got to not scream in pain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, just laying there scrolling through the internet. Well, that's the thing I do, Rob. So my daughter likes us to sit in, and I say to her, when she starts talking to me, I say i say i'm not gonna stay if you talk to me yeah is that too harsh
Starting point is 00:40:50 that's all right no because if she's asked to lay with you to go asleep yeah you're not gonna go yeah you're talking you know sometimes she says will you cuddle me and i like that but it does mean absolutely no stimulus for me no you're you're just staring ahead, cutting a child. You're just staring ahead at the back of her head, like kind of spooning her, I suppose is the term. Yeah, it's the correct term. But if she goes to sleep facing the other way from me and I'm just lying there, 100% get the phone out. Of course, it's the only way to survive.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Yeah. The other day, Rob, I actually brought a book in with me. I was like, I want to finish this book so i'll just finish this while she's going to sleep so it is feasible i see it and i don't want to feel like i'm the more zen person because that's rare i see it as a chance to kind of it's a small bit of your day when you're doing nothing it's true but the problem is for me they're both older now so they both argue can you let me now then if you're lonely with her i want you to let me so i'll let you five minutes and go in there and then what i'll do is i'll be laying with the first one and then the oldest
Starting point is 00:41:51 going are you any you coming in wakes up the youngest and i'll get up and go no i'll come in a minute but stop shouting like that then however do you have to get them both to sleep by the end of the day it just takes forever and then they're not even tired yet and then like and then i'll lay with them for 10 minutes and And then I'll go and lay with the other one. And then the other one's got back up and she's reading a book and pottering about. Oh, my God. Pottering. And then you go and lay with the other one.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Where's Lou during this? Well, sometimes she does it. But then one of us has got to try and tidy up and cook dinner. Yeah. And it's just sort of back and forth. Which is the best gig. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's get this sorted down here while you sort the kids out.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I love the tidy up. Yeah, I know. I should be grateful for it. But it's a bit of a pain in the arse when you've just got to lay there staring. Oh, well. One day you'll regret that. Do you want...
Starting point is 00:42:30 Don't try and get in my head, Mr. 40. Even at the big end. Imagine 50. You're going to be struggling at 50, Josh. There'll be people listening to this going like, 40, shut up, lad. You're still young. Do whatever you want with the word. Yeah, like when I used to complain about having one kid.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Yeah, that slept for three hours a day. All right. All right, mate. you want the word yeah like when i used to complain about having one kid yeah that slept for three hours a day all right all right mate oh it's so hard is it yeah it is isn't it yeah no time to do anything probably three hours in the middle of the day that you had to yourself sorry i'm a bit a bit snappy early aren't i no i like it i like it it's got a zip to it don't start saying you like it to make me do this every time because you keep booking too many things in i'm never going to do this at 7.30am in the morning again because I got up to bloody
Starting point is 00:43:08 click that Michael okay yeah I got up right I got up at 6 to pack and then because my daughter
Starting point is 00:43:16 was asleep on our floor I couldn't pack because it was dark why was she sleeping on your floor when one of us goes away she sleeps on our floor right
Starting point is 00:43:23 she likes it for some reason and to be honest with you Fair enough. We like it. It's nice. Because it's nice. Cut to when the youngest
Starting point is 00:43:30 starts doing it and you're just climbing over children. Do you know what I said to Rose last night? I just love having her sleep on the floor when I go to bed
Starting point is 00:43:37 and I quite happily have both of them when he's three years older but then she won't want to do it. But what about if you and Rose want to have a little bit of a cuddle? This hasn't't come up because your daughter doesn't sleep on the floor
Starting point is 00:43:49 very much or you and rose don't cuddle very much so should we do the small business shout outs hi rob and josh if you want go on okay hi rob josh and michael my name is will and i love listening to your podcast i can relate to pretty much everything yeah looking after three and one year old while also trying to run an online business turning 40 which i'm completely fine with as josh seems to be i added that last bit my daughter and several of her friends have asthma yes yes that but i can relate to that One in five kids do fucking how? That's mad, isn't it? One in five kids have an asthma?
Starting point is 00:44:29 Have asthma, yeah. I did not know that. Mine's really more or less gone now. And they all hated using their inhalers. So I made them funky covers to jazz them up a bit. I would have loved this as a kid. They went down so well, I started a business making them for other people. I make everything myself by hand in York.
Starting point is 00:44:45 God, I love York. This is my favourite email. And the website is www.inhalertaylor.com. I was hoping you could do a shout-out for me. Done. Thanks a lot, Will, aka The Inhaler Taylor. Ah, great title. The Inhaler Taylor.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Yeah. Do you know what's going to be difficult for Will, though? If they bring out this sort of new tablet that eradicates asthma, he's going to be livid. What? Is that true? No, but if they did. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:13 A new medicine come out. Oh, asthma doesn't exist anymore. The old Inhaler Taylor. Will fucking kicking himself. Oh, the Inhaler Taylor, furious. Then he'll start adapting them to, like, weed bongs. And before you know it, he's in the nick for drugs exactly before you know it we're being featured this clip is being played out on a documentary on netflix about how the inhaler taylor became the
Starting point is 00:45:35 new freaking bad guy what's that guy called columbian drug lord escobar escobar yeah i'm listening to a really good podcast called gangsterster. It's from a BBC one. Oh, it's great, isn't it? About the Manchester guy in Salford. Salford, sorry, not Manchester. Yeah, but they do a different gangster each series. Oh, do they? Is there more? There's a new one about this guy that was linked to the Brinksmat robbery,
Starting point is 00:45:56 and then he opened a timeshare in Tenerife. Oh, God. It's brilliant. It's great. Some of the interviews are unbelievable, but it's really good. Oh, I'm going to listen to that that because I love the Salford one. Yeah, the others are good as well. Do you know what?
Starting point is 00:46:08 I'd hate to be in the gangster fraternity. I'd be so bad at it and I'd find it incredibly stressful. Do you reckon at 40 you'd start looking at clips of young gangsters that are doing really well and think, I just don't want to compete with them anymore? Yes, I probably would. But they'd kill me rather than just take my place on eight out of ten cats yeah true yeah true um yeah i don't think you'd be a
Starting point is 00:46:30 great gangster it wasn't the life for me no no it would be awful it'd be really rubbish the stress of all the things i'd prefer to be an italian based an american italian gangster than a one in salford that sounded sounded really, really stressful. Yeah, Tony Soprano would be the gangster I'd like to be, if I had to be one. Oh, no, Rob. No? I've had a nightmare. Wait there.
Starting point is 00:46:51 What? Can you hear me? Yeah. Can you hear me? What's happened? Yeah, cool. My headphone went. You need to get new headphones, Josh.
Starting point is 00:46:59 I know. I need to get a new phone. I need to get a new microphone. I need to get a new attitude to life okay let me watch your small business shout out dear rob and josh love the show i was late to the party but i've caught up on every episode many a laugh out loud has been had so thank you for keeping me sane whilst raising two under two this is from becca in tine mouth tinmouth tinmouth sorry where is that is that devon or something oh no wait is it t-y-n-Y-N-E or? T-Y-N-E mouth.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, no, that's Newcastle. Ignore me. Yeah, keep it to yourself, okay? Sorry. Sorry. No worries. I was hoping to get a small business shout out for my friend Jen,
Starting point is 00:47:34 who has recently opened Vibes Yoga Bar in Cardiff Bay. After losing her father and then her mother being diagnosed with early onset dementia, Jen discovered the therapeutic benefits of yoga. In January 2023, she opened her dream business, Vibes, which as well as being a yoga centre, also has a cafe serving coffees, juices and healthy treats.
Starting point is 00:47:56 She set the business up whilst managing to care for her two beautiful daughters. I'm very proud to call her my mate and think she deserves a shout out the website is vibesyogabar.com well done good luck with the business that is incredible you like a bit of yoga don't you josh i need to do more of it i haven't done it in fucking ages rob but it's brilliant when you do it maybe it's a new thing for when i'm oh shut up josh why don't you do it yeah fucking hell yeah you're absolutely fine about Why don't you do it... It's going to save for when I turn... Yeah, fucking hell. Yeah, you're absolutely fine about it, aren't you? Just keep listing all the things you're going to do when you're 40.
Starting point is 00:48:30 See you on Friday, Rob. Maybe. I don't know. You're getting old now. Every night's a blessing. So if you make it through the night, Josh, I'll see you on Friday. Okay. Otherwise, you and John Richardson.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Yeah. I think he's older than you, isn't he, John? Yeah, I think he is. I think he is. If one of us died, who would you want to replace the other? Send that in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Bye. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.