Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S6 EP42: Rick Edwards

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant presenter - Rick Edwards. Rick's podcast 'Eureka!' is available to listen wherever you get your podcasts. Parenting Hell is available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parents in hell with Can you say, well, Beckett? Or Bertie? Can you say Josh? Welcome.

Welcome. Well done. That was nice, wasn't it? Nice little one. Hello, you sexy and relatable things. This is Sophia, 86 months, talking to her little sister, Isabella, almost three. Sorry for all the clattering they were having their dinner. Sophia has enjoyed saying your name for months now and has been trying to make Isabella say it, but usually the response she gets is no. This was the first time Isabella played

along. We went to the O2 live show. Sophia was shocked to discover you were actual real life people, not just funny names to say. Thanks for keeping me laughing and brighten up my quiet days in the office. That's Lauren from great Dunmo, Essex. You're done. Mole. Great Dunmo. What the fuck is that? I've never heard of that.

No idea. Great. Oh, dear. I'm a fan of the podcast last night, Rob. Yeah. She said to me,

um, she lived in Kent. Yeah. And she said, she's been trying to work out. She's like, yeah, I know.

I know where Rob lives now. Um, from what he's saying, I've been trying to piece together where he's moving to. Oh, God. That's what I thought. So I just gave her the postcode of your new address. How did that? Well, everyone knows where I live now at the moment.

Well, you've got that big picture of yourself on the gate. Yeah, and get beat. Yeah, I've got Beckett Towers in 10-foot letters written on the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to escape a bit of quiet time now. Right, before we bring on Rick Edwards, who is sort of disarmingly attractive. It's quite stressful.

He's so good-looking, isn't he? We mention it, but it actually really panics you, doesn't it? Do you want some correspondence? Boomers. Hi, Josh and Rob. When my mum was a kid, her and her huge family were taken to Blackpool and the fun house included one of those insanely indoor vertical drop plastic slides.

Death Slides, I think you'll remember them to be called, Rob. Is that correct? Well, they basically repurposed the Death Slide for a beat the wall, haven't they? I spoke about it before. Yeah, yeah. Are they the ones you hold onto and they drag you up and let you go or do you climb up it some stairs?

You climb up, sit, and then you just fall, don't you? Yep. So the new version of that is they put you up and let you go or do you climb up it some stairs if you climb up set and then you just fall don't you yep so the new version of that is they put you in like a suit because my kids done it and they you hold on to like a stick and they pull you up and you go as high as you want to go ah rather than you climbing up there and shitting yourself they basically you start at one two and there's like the top level which is six but it slowly builds your confidence rather than you climbing six flight of stairs and your dad screams you get down the death slide what's wrong with you fucking hell we're on holiday supposed to enjoy ourselves slide down the death slide my mum's twin brother was wearing a brown hand knitted acrylic cardigan oh my it's

like a detail we need to know yes and as he flew down the slide at a great rate of knots, he put his hand in the pocket of cardigan, creating a space for static sparks to catch a light. No. As he reached terminal velocity at the bottom of the slide, his whole cardigan caught on fire. No. He was quickly patted down and the day continued like nothing had happened classic 70s boom of

parenting oh my god keep up the amazing podcast i'm very much enjoying laughing out loud of my long walks you make the day go faster much love lol palmer i thought it was a death slide because of the height not that you'd catch a light how can material make do that like how do they know the pocket is the thing that created the fire like that's a very precise way of the parents blaming the kid well you should never put your hand in your pocket should you that's why it caught fire hi rob and josh i have very clear memories of going to local social club with my dad on a friday and saturday evening along with the other local dads and their kids my dad would enjoy a few beers while i only had one can of diet coke for the entire evening how on earth would one can of diet coke last a four-year-old all evening well my dad used to

tell me that if i drank my coke really really slowly there'd be a free holiday to disneyland at the bottom oh no that no. That's awful. Cue me drinking as slowly as possible all evening to excitedly look through the hole in the bottom of the empty can to see nothing but metal. I would turn to my dad and say there was no holiday. My dad would then reply, well, you have to drink it slower next time.

Fucking hell. I genuinely only cottoned on to this when I was in my 20s. Oh, God. That's when the old trauma starts coming out yeah thanks laura bilcock do you think boomer parenting is basically drunk parenting well there is an element of that isn't there a party and they're pissed and they can't remember what they've said and they say some crap because i'm not and this is not me just because i remember when i was at that barbecue the other week when i was drunk i just was saying yes to everything.

I wasn't telling them that they'd win it, but like you say things that you're, you're basically, so I was talking about this because basically you're unconscious, you're doing unconscious parenting, aren't you? Because you're drunk, you're, you're not conscious. You're not making decisions from a conscious state, which is what I have to do to stop myself getting over excited. So if I'm too stressed, I have to slow down and do my breathing and meditation

so that i'm conscious because i can become unconscious alcohol makes you unconscious yeah even just a few drinks because you're just wavy and you're having the feeling of being merry or drunk you're not really thinking about everything so that's why people do it it calms your brain down doesn't it um and but it can also be a pattern of behavior where if i get unconscious thinking i'm just just going right i've got to do this got to do that because i need to get some money and i'm i'm running off old old ways of thinking rather than actually feeling how i feel about it i'd someone said if someone says you want to do this job if i'm unconscious i'll just go yep do that because i need to work i need to get money because that's what we do i've got poverty mindset i I need money. I need money and stuff.

Well, actually, if I'm conscious, I can be like, no, let's breathe through this. Do I really want to go there? What's happening next week? What's happening? And then you make better decisions because you're more conscious. And that's something where I'm now thinking about drinking a little bit less because I'm doing so well in my day-to-day life trying to be more conscious and measured in my decision-making. But then as to be more conscious and and measured in my decision making

but then as soon as i go to the pub i get pissed and then before i know it i've replied to four emails and i'm off to the isle of man for a five-night gig i'm like what happened so i think maybe some of this boomer parenting comes from being slightly unconscious decision making because really most people know that's a bit of a mean thing to say to your kids you can't dress it up as oh it's only a laugh no it's not because children think literally and they literally think they're going to go to disney if they drink that coke slowly but anyway that's a bit of a weird rant but that's something i've been thinking about i think it's interesting i think it's genuinely interesting when my eldest was three in year three it was

her first year during christ Christmas in her new school. As we approached the festive season, in anticipation of the mental load hitting dizzying heights, I asked her if she was working on any Christmas projects. She simply looked at me and said, no, we don't really do Christmas at this school because, you know, we've got Joe Wicks' kids there. This clearly stopped me in my tracks

as we live in rural Leicestershire and Joe Wicks' kids definitely don't go stopped me in my tracks as we live in rural Leicestershire and Joe Wicks' kids definitely don't go to a school. So I double checked. Are you sure on that? She said deadpan. Yeah. Joe Wicks' kids really don't like Christmas. Completely dumbfounded. I looked at her and put the pieces together. They don't like Christmas, to which it struck me. Do you mean Jehovah's Witnesses? I said. Yes, that's it, she said. She's confused Jehovah's Witnesses, presuming them to be Joe Wicks' kids because it sounded the same. It'd be really confusing if Joe Wicks came out as a Jehovah's Witness.

It would. It'd be very confusing. Do you know what? We should have read that email out before the Petereter andre episode that's that's bad that's bad presenting from us but instead rob we've got an incredible guest yes i love rick edwards he's a good guy but also as well he's real in the midst of work-life balance and new baby and their first baby so not only has he got his work-life balance he's also got like his old life new life balance of being a parent now and trying to juggle it and it's i think he's he's doing well but i think he's it's tiring yeah he still looks annoyingly good this is rick edwards

hello rick edwards how are you you just said that like you read it, like you don't know Rick. No. Richard Edwards? Richie Edwards? Yeah, I mean, Richie's fine with me, actually. I didn't choose to be. The only reason I'm Rick and not Rich is because I changed schools, and when I joined the new school, there was a lad who had been quite popular

who'd just left who was called Rick, and so everyone was just like, well, we'll just call you Rick as well, just easier. Oh, that's good. So you kind of of you went on the road the wave of his popularity yeah it was actually quite a handy way in because it's intimidating going to a new school yeah it worked quite nicely so i didn't really i didn't question it also to be honest i sort of felt like better for someone else to choose it for you because I think Rick is better than Rich but I've never had yeah yeah it's much better isn't it yeah I think so so yeah but anyway call me whatever you like it's fine you can read it before we start Rick I didn't say I'm quite happy

with doing this on zoom because you are one of the most devastatingly tall and handsome people I've ever met and it's quite difficult to concentrate in your company, I find, Rick. Yeah, I mean, it's disappointing I could see you reading that off as well, right? No, I'm not. I'm trying to find... What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to find a photo of me and you when I met you at Wimbledon, and I looked like a child next to you, a pathetic little child next to this massive man that looks lovely. It just cracked me up, that photo.

We had a nice time at Wimbledon, didn't we? Oh, it's a lovely gig. That was Stormzy was there that year. And he sat behind me and he'd never been to tennis before. And he went, and he, and when it went 50, he laughed. He went, I swear down, he got 15 for that. Immediately makes you think the BBC have missed a trick not to have red button Stormzy commentary. I know!

Well, we will come to parenting, as we always do, but me and Rob are obsessed because we're obsessed with sleep on this show with people who do breakfast radio and what their lives are like. Yeah. In a word, terrible. Also, you do the breakfast show on Five Live. In a word, terrible. But also...

So you do the breakfast show on Five Live? Six till ten, is that? Six till nine, actually. Six till nine. Yeah, so what's even more annoying about that is that lots of people will say to you, do you know what? It's the perfect job for being a parent.

I'm like, well well it clearly isn't i get even less sleep than everyone else and no one else in the house is getting enough sleep so you're six till nine and how old you're your child uh he is 14 weeks so it's all quite yeah you're in the trenches 14 weeks yeah yeah yeah and how much did you take paternity leave two weeks and then two weeks holiday so four weeks total and you're back in the saddle so is it like london or manchester i'm london at the moment and then we're schlepping back up to manchester um but like all of our friends and family around here so it didn't really make any to maroon us uh maroon us in Cheshire

where we know literally no one. So do you live in Cheshire at the moment? Well, we will do, yeah. Yeah, once the baby's a bit older, you'll be up there. Yeah, well, actually not that much longer. So I think in about two weeks' time. I think the party line is I'm excited to get back up there and the reality is I'm dreading it.

Because obviously it's tough when there's night feeds going on and you're going, I've got to be up at seven, but you're going, I've got to be up at three. Yeah. Well, three 30 actually. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's exactly what's, what's happening.

And there's a, there's a sort of sense, I don't know if you had it, but I have, where you feel a bit like a spare part because there's only so much as a dad you can do. So not a toast making or getting water and stuff. It's sort of like hovering around on the periphery, just being ready to do anything that is out of you, but fundamentally a bit of a spare part and is she breastfeeding then is that yeah yeah because we can't really share it i mean

i really have tried but that's the thing it's so different like because lou couldn't breastfeed it was like if you're like a bottle baby the it's so much more split down the middle but when is the baby's breastfed the bloke naturally literally cannot do anything no that kind of thing yeah I mean I actually I remember seeing this years ago and thinking that's quite funny maybe I'll get that but you can get a sort of like prosthetic what's it and strap on ones and then you know fill them with uh formula or whatever and then you can as a man it's sort of breastfeed wow are you tempted to go with the fake tip balls i was of course i was in that in the end it doesn't it feels weirdly disrespectful to ema somehow if i suddenly roll in with a pair of fake tits mansplaining here we

go i've got my own tits watch out this is how you do it love oh i'll get him to latch in no time and that's how you latch that's how you latch okay but anyway so the thing that i find is then you have to be available and and sort of enthusiastic at all times and so when so what i do the changing so when he when he feeds at night obviously i'm not doing the feeding but i am doing the changing so i am getting up not like every time but sort of quite regularly so i'm i mean i'm completely broken. I'm so, there's no way around it. And I sort of constantly looking like there was definitely a time in my life where, when I told people how old I was,

people would be like, no. And I feel like that has completely in a matter of months has completely gone. I'm like, I'm 43 and people are like that has completely, in a matter of months, has completely gone. Now I'm like, I'm 43 and people are like, yeah. That's a delicate way to say it. I'd say at the moment I've seen you looking perkier. Yeah, yeah. You definitely look like a man that's got stuff going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I saw you in the queue at St. Drew's and I had a big trolley full and you had some coffee and some bread, I'd go, go ahead, mate. You need to get out of here sharpish. And so what are your nights like? What time are you going to bed, like seven? Well, so pre-baby, I was sort of trying to go to bed at about eight and now it's slipped to sort of nine nine thirty sometimes ten i mean we're really sort of and i'm not like i'm not a in in many ways actually not a maggie thatcher figure um yeah i can't i can't sort of cope on

four hours sleep like i'm i'm terrible i'm'm really – I'm an old-school eight-hours guy. Really? Are you? And I'm getting nowhere near eight hours. No. Oh, my word. And so what's it like at 3.30 when you've had those – that broken night and then you're like – what are you doing between 3.30 and 6?

So getting in and then doing prep for the show because it's not annoyingly um yeah it's not one of these uh lower shows yeah yeah you can't play there's no music is there music at that time no music there's no that is brutal it's just me chatting to people about quite a serious yeah i'd say yeah i'd say because we, I'd say we cycle between two, five and six in the mornings. And the sense of relief in your voice when you're talking about the last night's Premier League games

is palpable. Yeah, which actually is probably not a great compliment to my broadcasting skills. You shouldn't ideally be able to hear that. Oh, he's happy again. Just let him get through that bit. He'll be happy.

I think you do a sterling job. I'm projecting. I'm projecting. Because Chris Evans famously used to turn up for his breakfast show as they were doing the news. So actually his show had officially started at six or something. He'd swung in at two minutes past six and then start talking at three minutes

past six. Yeah. I mean, years and years ago, I did a show on what was then XFM and you could like, yeah, I'd sometimes be like running, running down the corridors, sweating to get in, to be able to speak straight after whatever it was at the top of the app. And you sort of do that. The Foo Fighters. It was the Foo Fighters. I'll tell you that. Yeah, it was the Foo Fighters or it was at the top of the app and you sort of the food fighters it was the food fighters i'll tell you that it was kasabian you're like well you know

it's it's sort of straightforward enough not to disrespect the fine work that um you know johnny vaughn and chris miles are doing over there of course but it's hard you've got concentrate you've got serious stuff to chat about yeah yeah you do have to concentrate it turns out so um that that is problematic uh and i've had my first sort of in the last two weeks i've had the first time when my alarm has gone off i've been doing the job for 18 months now something like that where the alarm has gone off and i've thought what actually happens if I don't turn up here? How bad is it? How many strikes do I get? Is it me with the missile?

Or is it a little bit of wriggle room? Yeah. Because, you know, new dad. And yeah, of course the guy's fucking knackered. Like you've got to, you know. And yeah, but I've thought that a couple of times now. I think we're probably only a few weeks off me actually putting it to the test or like a footballer you don't love football but they just sort of just don't set up to training but it it hangs on because you can't just sack someone if there's a contract so if this makes you feel better every single

stand-up gig i ever do just before they're now because wherever you walk on the stage there's normally an emergency fire door. I always look at that door and go, I could just go that way. Easy. Yeah. Welcome to, no, I've gone there. Yeah, for every, so that's always in my head. But I think what I would say is, Rick, you are,

you're over the excitement of the newborn and all that buzz and energy. You are just like in the proper trenches of like, you're not getting much back from the kid. It's not like they're running around cuddling and being cute and talking and saying that it's like hardcore graft where it feels like there's no sort of the buzz has sort of gone it's back to reality but it will it will get better rick but but also in absolute fairness to the little guy i mean i completely like i love love him he's great like the sort of the the actual being with him bit I enjoy and like every because because there isn't much that is being offered a little smile I mean I'm just like I'm on cloud nine I absolutely love it

and it's just and it's probably a smile he doesn't even know he's doing he'll take it yeah completely did you have like we told three months was a big target i remember that being a big thing that things will get easier after three months well i think i've heard all sorts of stuff because obviously it has yeah it has bollocks to impart. It was bollocks. I just wanted to reassure you that it is bollocks. Okay, great. Yeah, one of the main things that I remember about the birth itself was in the run-up, I like to research and read about stuff, so I did loads of reading

and there's lots of science, and I was like, great, I can really get my teeth into it. You've wasted your time there. Oh, yeah. So you put together your birth plan, and I've got my printed-out birth plan, and I'm there, and I'm all ready to go. And there was just a really bleak and sobering moment for me where I remember just as it's all kicking off and everything's going on and I just slowly just fold up my little a4

just slide it silently into the pocket yeah not gonna be needing that I don't think how was you at the birth? Did you stay composed or did it send you sideways? I nearly fainted twice, which is really humiliating. There's an amazing, well, twice actually I got shouted at. Once by the midwife. By Ema?

Once by Ema, once by the midwife. The midwife shouting at me, sir sir I'm gonna need you to sit down and drink some of that Lucozade specifically the Lucozade that we bought for Ema what was you doing what was you doing I just gone really pale and I was a bit wobbly I think um and I was so aware of it happening I was like you cannot be this guy you must not be this guy and then later on Saint just nearly felt like I was about to faint again and Ina just started shouting at me about there being some fruit pastels in the bag so yeah I don't think I've covered myself in glory.

Oh, mate. It's horrible, though, because there's nothing you can do, isn't there? But your brain's kind of, what can I do? There's nothing. You just have to look. Yeah, you're trembled. Yeah, you've got to watch. You're watching the person you love most in the world

go through something that is clearly completely unacceptable. From every possible standpoint. That should not be happening to anyone. It's a bad system that evolution's done a very poor job on, in my opinion. And then I was like, the only thing I can be in control of is me not making it worse. And then I was just making it worse by panicking. Yeah. And I'm like, no, the only thing I can do I'm

not doing did you did you find yourself because I found what I did was I focused so much on the birth as a thing that when we were then left with a baby it kind of took me by surprise if you know I mean I hadn't thought about life after the birth the birth was so central to that first child yeah no I yeah it's a very um it's just a very surreal experience where you're sort of looking at this creature and being like and now you know you've had all of this sort of medical help and then they just go shake your hand best of luck and then you're trying to figure out how a car seat works? And, you know, you're right. You fixate on that and getting through that

without particularly processing the fact that you're now going home with a small human that you have to try and keep alive and you're not really entirely sure how to do that. So could you, like you said, you're really into science and you like to read and prep. You know, your podcast, Eureka,

is you talking to a scientist about science. And I've noticed in one of your episodes, it's like a scientific approach, being good at being a dad. Yeah. What did you discover in that episode? It's a real, as you can tell, it's essentially just a vehicle for me to get answers to questions that I would like to be answered. I don't really consider the audience at all.

I'm just like, well, I want to be a good dad, so let's get would like to be answered. I don't really consider the audience at all. I'm just like, well, I want to be a good dad, so let's get someone in to tell me. Because you're into science and you've got an official doctor scientist person on. What made me laugh is one of your episodes is called, Is the Metaverse Going to Be Shit? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, this sounds like the kind of science podcast I could get into.

Yeah, well, it's a reasonable question. And the answer, if you can't be bothered to listen to the episode, which is fine, is, yeah, of course it is. Fundamentally, the reason that me and Michael, who's the quantum physicist I do it with, wanted to do the podcast is that we both really like science and think science is really fun but most science is presented in quite a dull way it's quite boring or just quite reverential and there's no need for it to be and so we just kind of try and do it in a in a slightly more engaging way what did you find about what makes a great father then so it's all fairly straight

it's all of stuff that you that you already know the big thing i took out of it and it's too early for that with um with ours at the moment is rough and tumble um is apparently a really big part of like that's the dad's role it's to do oh is it yeah um for all sorts of kind of developmental reasons. It's really good setting boundaries, getting them to sort of read people's emotions and stuff, but it's rough and tumble. So it feels like it's quite good fun as well. Yeah.

That's good. Cause I'm quite into rough and tumble mainly because my children are the only people I can overpower. It's the only time I feel like I'm winning a fight. We play trap, which is sort of a, where I lay on the floor face down and they've got to try and run past me. And then I grab them and trap them and they have to release each other.

That's a good game. That's why I see BBC Daytime are interested. Also, they're getting a bit bigger now. It's starting to feel like jujitsu training. I might just take them down to the gym. But as they get bigger, my seven-year-old, she's quite tall now and quite heavy, and they used to jump on me, but she jumped from her bed.

I was on the floor, so it's a bit of a leap from the bed, and jumped onto me with her knees tucked up into my back. It was like a rock, and I was like, I was actually fucked. And she was like, oh, sorry. I'm like, you can't do that. But yours is going to start to bash you up, Josh yeah well I enjoy it though it's fun the over rough and tumble um what Rick I know you don't you know you're the mornings where I'd work now especially with the little one what I would say is though done by nine yes you're gonna be able to pick them up from

school every single day and I I get to do that quite a bit because of my you know i work randomly and stuff like that so i do get to pick them up um from from school and there's not still i know it's 2023 it's still not a lot of dads doing that and to be able to do that is a real real and it's gonna feel amazing especially to drop them off at school after work no no they're both schools start after nine no before nine josh yeah yeah yeah i think that'll be i'd have to nip out during the show i think to do that no i don't i think that's psychologically damaging to do your day at work school drop off and school pickup i think i think he needs it has a slow morning from nine o'clock have an afternoon nap you've got to introduce the

afternoon nap i can't the thing with the nap i do need to get better than that there's no there's no question when i have a nap and i think i've been like this since since i was a baby according to my mom and dad i just i wake up in a fury with a with a hot face i don't know do you i don't know why like bright like bright red and just like so cross and then which like so cross. And that's no way to live. You really need your sleep, don't you? You are a proper eight hours old school guy. Yeah, otherwise I'd sort of turn into Hellboy. Is Ema good without sleep?

Or what's it like in this time? She seems much, much better on it. Yeah, I mean, given that very obviously it's much harder for her yeah i'm suffering more like she's like she's incredible um that that's the other thing that i've definitely taken from this this whole experience so far is like like wow i don't know how you're i i would be complaining so much i mean i'm complaining quite a lot as it is um yeah like i don't, I don't know, I don't know how she's, how she's doing it, but she seems to be coping very well and enjoying it.

How are you, have you done any long journeys yet? Yes, we did a really wonderful journey back from West Wales on holiday Monday. Oh, my word. That was a sweet seven and a half hours. Oh, my God. In the car. Yeah. We didn't walk it. Although we might as well have done, to be honest.

Yeah, so that was a big ask. But then on this week, and I can't work out if this is going to be a good thing or a bad thing but ema's up for an award and the ceremony is in new york so we are going to new york on wednesday oh my word with the baby and i'm like this yeah like we should definitely we should definitely do this because it's exciting you're up for an award in america yeah great um i won i won i wonder how that's gonna go i'd say it's easier flying with a 14 week old than having like a toddler on a plane yeah because i think up to six months you can travel with them like i don't want to bring them around down early

doors rick because like you say you feel like you're 43 people have said that you're not that oh you look so good for your age that's sort of dying down a little bit and you've got this yeah and if you're you know and you might want more kids you know as well on top of the one you've already got i don't know that's that's up to you guys um but you until your youngest is four you will never enjoy a. Yeah, pretty much all of my friends have said that. Yeah, it's not. My best friend's main advice to me before was like, get in a really good holiday.

Yeah. As close to the birth as possible, because you will really cherish that. Because if you go for another kid, Rick, you're looking at being 50 before you relax on a beach. Yeah, I mean, imagine. one of my other best friends he's been incredibly smug um partly just because he's slightly smug but he had kids relatively early or for like for the rest of our friends anyway so he's got uh two daughters 14 and 11, and his thing has always been, and so I'm basically done. And he's in his early 40s, and I'm like, I'm golden.

They're going to be looking after themselves quite soon. And his wife is a little bit older, and she got pregnant again. Oh, my. They've just had a son. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Amazing. of course he loves the boy it's totally derailed his like life plan yeah he thought it was all sorted oh that's amazing oh my word i think you should be okay with two of you on that flight. If you're breastfed as well, it should be able to like comfort.

Is it a night flight or a day flight? Day. Are you doing dummies? Yes. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah. We had,

I think our resistance to dummies broke after about four days, maybe. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I think the dummy thing is, I think it's absolutely fine. I've never

met an adult at work still with a dummy in it will it will die down and so what's your day involved at the moment rick what how much parenting are you looking at until bedtime at 8 p.m well i mean it's it's sort of it's just your nap schedule yeah no no we haven't got any sort of it's just a nap schedule yeah no no we haven't got any sort of schedule yet um i'm quite interested in um in starting to sleep train i don't know when i think that might be soonish i would say i think we started at six months yeah i thought six months is one that gets banded around that seems sort of reasonable ish and still in your six months presumably is he still in your room yeah and how are you finding that it's fine because when i'm during the week i will then go into uh the what is technically his room that he doesn't use and sleep in the

small single bed um in a heartbreaking fashion. And then he will sort of bring, and that's where his changing stuff is. So he will bring him in and I'll be like, lurch out of bed, change him. So she'll breastfeed and bring him into change, wake you up. She'll go back to bed, you change, then you put him back in the next to the bed. Yeah, yeah. It's the sort of system. It's awful, isn't it like been woken up like i'll change that i'm terrible in the in

the mall i don't need loads of sleep but i am awful and i've just been woken up i'm and like to the point where lou would shout at me because i wasn't doing it quick enough and i felt like i felt like a confused old pair you know like you know granddads get all a bit old and confused at a bus stop and then they're young they're tired child's like get on with it granddaddy i'm so shit i can't do it the thing that i can't i'm sort of disappointed in myself is that my body doesn't so my my brain doesn't seem to be able to learn that that is a thing that's going to happen so every time it's the same sort of bewildered shock as i was trying to watch out you think by now it's just if you're like yes okay i'm like yeah it's changing yeah i just don't think you ever get used to, because you've had, in reality, you know,

40 years of not doing something the instant you wake up. It's so rare before you have children that you have to act upon waking up. Yeah. The snooze button, even the snooze button, that's not an option with a child. No, it's just gone. It's, yeah, the sad demise of the snooze button actually i've

not set an alarm in the morning i've never set an alarm in the morning since kids yeah is it going to be up at six unless you're going somewhere once when was getting a flight at six a.m but not really not even for the school drop-off i know i'll occasionally set an alarm when i have a nap that's about as far as i go well that's the thing i've learned to get when i get to gigs i try and get to gigs at six do my sound check have something to eat 6 30 to 7 30 i sleep and then i have half an hour trying to gee myself up to do the gig and that's the only way i've managed to be able to be a present parent and gig in the evenings because like what i was doing before was like looking

after kids getting there like quarter to eight going on and just trying to run off the adrenaline but you have to try and re like re-energize at some point are you a napper josh yeah i like a nap i think i if i put a podcast on i can be out like a light have a go on eureka it's good stuff but some of it gets quite heavy that'll send you off yeah it needs to be something like a list of a history podcast or something that's like a bit not funny but like a bit backgroundy do you know what i mean the voices don't really change they're not too up and down with a lot yeah yeah yeah yeah sort of just a monotone history podcast two two middle-aged men talking about the sewers crisis and i'm gone

do you know what i mean and incredibly you've probably got a choice of 10, 15 podcasts that will do exactly that. Yeah, exactly. Being released every day. I think you're going to have to learn to nap, Rick. Yeah, I'm going to have to. Yeah, I think, but it feels like it's going to be a real uphill battle because if I've always been like this,

like my parents wouldn't let me, if we went on a car journey they would their whole thing was try and keep me awake the whole time because if i did fall asleep in the car when i then got to get me out of the car it'd be a complete nightmare i think it might just be it might be beyond me you get with your job to travel around to big sporting events and stuff don't you yeah so have you got any coming any big things coming up where you're thinking am i going to take the family to this well i mean i was sort of wondering i mean it's not for a little while but if we do the euros we're in germany next year which i really hope we do it's fucking brilliant and I was like get sort

of you know get camper van or ever and I vaguely floated that it's like you seriously suggested we we travel around Germany in a camper van so you can watch I mean, I did that sort of thing where I tried to go, no, of course I'm joking. No, no, I know we're not joking. I know we're not going to do that. No, I know we're not. Yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah, so you'd have an 18-month-old in a camper van. It'd be you driving to trying to find soft play centres in Cologne.

And also you'd still be getting up at 3.30 a bit in a camper van because you'd be hosting the breakfast show from munich or something right yes but with the time difference 4 30 so actually oh yeah when you're at work like so when i in those early weeks and months i remember like getting a text off rose four minutes before going live on the last leg saying that she can get our daughter to sleep and all that kind of stuff. Are you hosting the breakfast show interviewing? I don't know. So Ella Braverman down the line and you're getting a text saying he's not latching on. What from Suella about Rishi?

The thing about doing your work when you're sort of knackered or whatever yeah when i first started doing tv live tv when i was god i mean it's probably 20 years ago it was 20 years ago and my dad saying oh it'll be and my dad knows nothing about this industry at all and he just said oh it'll be it'll be difficult when you're on live tv if you've had if you've had like a if you're in a bad time or you're like in a in a bad mood and i hadn't really sort of gauged that but it's so true that it's like the you have to put uh you have to yeah like you absolutely have to you can't do your radio shunga oh hello yeah um yeah woke up a few times in the night.

Um, we've got, no one cares. I'm tired too. That's why I'm listening to you to wake me up. Yeah. And particularly on the BBC, because people are just screaming,

I'm paying your wages. Oh yeah. It is hard on the BBC, especially that kind of show where you're talking about different opinions and stuff like that. Yeah. Um, do the final question, Josh? This has been brilliant, Rick. Thanks for doing it.

Yeah, it's been an absolute joy. I know you've probably seen the little one. Where is the little one as we speak, Rick? He is at his grandparents' house. Making the last use of the grandparents before you move north. Well, that's the thing. They live like 10 minutes away. It's perfect.

Sorry. It's set up. Yeah live like 10 minutes away. It's perfect. Sorry. Stop laughing, Rob. Sorry, Rick. Oh, God. But actually, to be fair, they'll only be 200 miles away. Maybe you could find room for them in your camper van when you're touring Germany and Paris over next summer. the camper van i was definitely joking about josh yeah yeah the final question rick what is is about um your partner and what is the one thing she does that

frustrates you with the baby that's quite annoying and if she listened you she'd go yeah that is a fair point actually if you brought that up and what is the other thing that she does with like she's so incredible i'm so lucky to have a baby with her um so she like i i don't know what it is so i'll deal with the second one first because it's easier um she has like i have completely mirrored what she does to rock the baby to sleep like i've scrutinized the exact action yeah replicated it and it takes me a minimum three times longer yeah and it's real and i'm like it's like there's a sort of alchemy or magic going on it's like it's like when you can some people can work out when a piece of clothing is a fake do you know what i mean yeah it's like you're trying to pass off what she's doing yeah he knows yeah yeah he's he he can smell it on me

yeah you're rich you're the stars in their eyes version of her being the actual pop star yeah i was coming through the smoke and then the thing well this is not really a thing that i think she would i wonder what she would think about this well we'll find out maybe um i i think i probably have a slightly less militant i would have a slightly less militant approach to the staining of clothes so my feeling is of course like of course the baby is going to shit himself yeah yeah the clothes are going to get a little bit you know but they're not in them for that long so grow out of them it's sort of fine but um that's it what we have in place is is a vibe where as soon as he soils anything it it gets put in a special pile, not the regular pile where we just put it in the washing machine, where I have to, by hand with my fingers, scrub it with fairy liquid.

And so I scrub the shit stains out of the clothes. I'm doing this on a daily basis. Yeah, of course. And I think, you know, yeah, left to me, that's not happening. Left to you, what are you doing? Well, left to me, I'm just sticking it in the wash and hoping, you know. Can I raise you one more straight in the bin? Yeah, not bad.

My rule was, we bought, I said, let's not spend money on expensive, nice ones. Let's buy the cheapest cheapest thinnest baby grows that you know the white ones that go first layer before you put the rest of the clothes on yeah yeah and then i know it's wasteful but it's only a moment in time they are getting launched straight in the fucking bin life is too short to scrub shit out of cotton i'm not doing it yeah why didn't i marry you rob we'd both be terrible in the morning room nothing would get done fair enough I mean that's a

fair point to be fair that you don't want to be scrubbing shit in clothes in your bare hands it's the fingers like it's just it's like

directly on my fingers I just get there and then I don't know it sort of feels humiliating just say just say just say just say

you've done it and it's in the bin we seem to be running low on those but no no no just buy a job lot as cheap as you can find them and Rick it's been amazing thank you so much good luck with your podcast Eureka give it a listen and yeah it will get better

I know we're laughing and it's annoying for you but it will get better and what we're laughing and it's annoying for you but it will get better and what now is a terrible early start will when it's the summer holidays and half term

you are going to have so much time with your kids and that is so important and you're going to love it so it's just hard now trust trust the process I'm trusting the process

I'm trusting you two yeah okay don't do that cheers Rick alright cheers cheers mate that was brilliant thanks mate in the process i'm trusting you too yeah okay all right cheers rick all right cheers that's brilliant thanks mate rick edwards lovely bloke really funny isn't he he's really nice but i feel like he's in the trenches mate yeah big time morale is low i feel bad for laughing too much but no that's ideal

it makes me feel better i'm walking on there. The problem is because our kids are getting older, it's getting slightly easier. Obviously we get harder mentally because they can become like teenagers and stuff, but it's physically slightly easier. When you talk to somebody right in the heart of it, you realize it doesn't make you realize how much easier it is for us. It's all relative,

isn't it? We're a bunch of fucking losers. But right. Rick Edwards, listen to Eureka, his new podcast. Listen to him on Five Live and we'll see you on Tuesday.

See you Tuesday, guys. Bye.