Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S7 EP12: Jon Richardson (The Return)

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Jon Richardson. You can buy tickets for Jon's new tour HERE And you can listen to Jon's football podcast 'Down The Dog' on all podcast platforms. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with dorothy can you say rob beckett. And Josh Widdicombe. Josh Widdicombe.

Widdicombe. I didn't. Well done, Dorothy. Well done. Do you know what? The nation was behind Dorothy then, because she absolutely nailed the best name. And then when it got to your one...

She didn't bother. She didn't give a shit. Do you know what got described as the other day? What? Josh's friend. Oh, no. Who by? Just someone.

Oh, you're Josh in the street. You're Josh's friend. Oh, my word. Not even you do the podcast. First time for everything. Like Jonathan Wilkes and Robbie Williams. Absolutely horrible that was. Jonathan Wilkes.

Josh's friend. Not even you do this show. Not even Romesh's friend. Not even Romesh's friend. Come on, that's the main gig. Do you want some ASMR quickly? Oh yeah, go on. I'm going to light a candle.

Do you want to hear the match? Yeah. Let's do that. Oh, that sounded quite sexy i thought i do you know what i think people are going to love that maybe we can have a little asmr section send in your requests yeah just done candle light i like a candle as well why not so we're lighting candles for this one for john richardson feels like he's died well he has right some of the gigs i've seen him do am I right this is Dorothy

who's just turned two giving it a go at the intro of the podcast just turned two I thought that was very good Dorothy is our little lockdown surprise

we thought we were probably finished after having her sister and brother but it wasn't to be in late 2020 we discovered she would be

joining the gang she's a wonderful little bonus but Rob and Josh... Stop calling her the bonus! No, this is what... Just don't mention it. Just say this is our two-year-old.

You're both sensible to stick with two, she's added. Right, OK, so brilliant. Your daughter will hear this. We love the pod from the beginning. Preferred it when we had two kids. We had more time to listen. I'd had a fab night oh where's this going

oh no not been shagging again no away seeing you at the O2 earlier this year we've got a fourth on the way after that no

I'm re-listening to all the episodes again now between new ones the lockdown episodes are mad to hear now life is a little bit more free

keep doing what you're doing Kat, Nathan, Felicity Edward and in brackets also Dorothy close brackets no she hasn't done that to Dorothy that's nice from Abingdon free keep doing what you're doing cat nathan felicity edward and in brackets also dorothy close brackets no she hasn't done that that's nice from cabington i am i'm glad she enjoys it and people because i've in the summer holidays seen a lot of people out with kids and stuff coming up and saying that they like podcasts and stuff which is you know lovely to hear but like sometimes you

do it because it mean you just catch up have have a chat, talk a load of shit. And because we're not doing it in front of an audience, you don't really know. It's hard to know if what we're doing is right or good, or you just churn it out and hope people listen. There might be a week where no one listens, but then I was coming to my office today and I drove past a man.

He looked about sort of 27, 28, so it looks like it was his first child because he sort of had still had quite nice clothes on you know when someone's going away or out for the weekend and they still dress fairly not where i've given up on new trainers because they just tread all over him so he looked quite nice and he looked you know and he looked like very he looked like it's sort of like advert dad do you know i mean he's quite handsome but he was trying to get what looked like he looked like he was going away to like not on holiday but a staycation or in-laws for the weekend and he had everything a child could ever need in the back of a car it looked almost like if a child was going to get divorced from

their parents that's what their car would look like right and he couldn't get it in and he slammed it down but he looked great he had a lovely car nice little fancy car lovely out of it but his eyes look so sad. And I was like, that's what we're doing it for. We're doing it for that guy. Poor bloke. Poor bloke. He just, his face screamed, fuck this.

And on paper, it's a lovely little weekend away with the kids and the in-laws. I'm a big fan of spotting people with kids when it's their first kid. Because we've been away over the summer and seeing people with their first child at the age of about a year in the swimming pool. The levels of the clothing. You know, was it Nigella Lawson wore like a full like sort of burkini like a full burka cover up in the sea once I don't know I've not seen that anyway how are you Josh she's very about yeah

she would burn like I would I had a bad evening last night Rob go on come on was it the one I saw you on Instagram moaning about yeah just before we bring on John Richardson bring him on he's not waiting so there's a festival in the park that's about 100 yards from my door, Victoria Park.

Is that the one where Stormzy was at and it rained and everyone went mad for it? Because I saw that on social media. Well, I don't know if I went mad for it, Rob. I wasn't there. But last Friday, I wanted to go and see Stormzy. Yep. Yeah.

And then I wanted to go and see The Strokes this Friday. Yeah. Also, it's literally about a three minute walk away. I know. It's insane. I can hear it from my house. The worst part of a festival is getting in and out. Yeah. You're there. You're already in. Yeah, exactly. But I was meant to be doing the two last legs of the series. And then the series got shortened by two episodes.

So you had two surprise days off. So Stormzy and Strokes are in the park. Yeah, but I wasn't going to go and see Stormzy because I had to go up to Bradford on the Saturday to film. Anyway, that filming was cancelled. So basically both my films, I could have gone to see Stormzy, but I only found out the day before.

So I had to listen to it from my garden where I didn't have to listen to it. I could hear it as I was going to sleep. in the garden it's not it's not going that badly and then last night i couldn't get a babysitter for the strokes oh no you love the strokes as well yeah and there was rose out rose was out with three friends just having dinner now i saw your instagrams about this and you were looking after kids couldn't get babysitting but Rose was out in London with her three mates

Soho four miles away so what I'm saying is all of them live in East London what I'm saying is was it a special occasion that had been in the diary

for ages no so I it had probably been in the diary for ages it had probably been in the diary for ages I feel like

the strokes in the park is a once in a 10 year potentially generation type opportunity years ago but yeah yeah right okay once every three years so it's sort of forget that like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you and she's gone out for dinner was did you so did you mention it to her and say oh was any chance that you could maybe reschedule that or no no i have a like, could they have a takeaway at your house and you went to the Strokes? She's not going to do the takeaway. No?

No, she's there to get dressed up and have a few cocktails. I hate getting dressed up. So what would you wear if you went for dinner with Lou and another couple? Oh. I mean, to be totally honest, I try and make that not happen as much as possible

but it's getting harder because i used to use work as an excuse but now i'm at home and it's it's gonna take a real special couple to get me off that sofa yeah yeah it's great and having a chat but is this chat better than chelsea versus luton when chelsea are on a bad run of form i watched last week luton with him with a shout chelsea won 3-0 eventually but it was um it was a tight game but um no for dinner out i'll probably wear jeans t-shirt basically i'll try and go as casually as i can without lu going what's what what is that oh i would go tracksuit if possible but um so yeah i i just don't i used to hate putting on i get in a shirt and trousers on i i used to hate having to be forced i don't like doing

what i'm told essentially so when I had to wear a shirt and trousers to go into the office in the summer when it was like 35 degrees and there'd be like women in there and basically just like a summer dress like they're going to a picnic. I said, I'm going to wear a dress next week unless we can wear shorts.

And they let us wear shorts because I was like, I cannot. My bollocks are going to perish. It stinks down there. I wish they'd called your bluff. I wish they'd called your bluff. What they did in the end was though, in the the end they relented and let us wear summer wear so we could wear like jeans or like as long as it was smart but not um yeah like like you could wear tailored shorts and shoes

so it had to be smart still but you didn't have to wear trousers tailored shorts oh what so you couldn't wear like bermuda shorts no you could wear like combats, like rip curls. Yeah, yeah. A pair of fat face combats. Would you wear like schoolboy shorts? Yeah, I'd wear sort of like a shirt. Shirt and shorts? With shorts. With shorts and shoes, yeah.

Shirts and shorts and shoes? Yeah. Like a sort of eight-year-old at a wedding in Spain. Yeah. Yeah. It's too hot, Josh. you're getting on the tube and remember once i was this company i worked out as an events company thought of the exact same reference for your outfit at the exact same time and um anyway we the company had done really well that like that whole summer they'd smashed it as the best like six months of that on record and then it was

like an intranet and then one of the blokes in IT, this geezer, this Polish geezer called Magic, who didn't give a shit about anything. He was hilarious. He wrote under the thing going like this. He said, well done everyone. We've smashed our targets. The best six months we've had ever.

Blah, blah, blah. And he wrote, just imagine how much money we would have made if we all had shirts and trousers on. We've managed to do that in shorts. It really cracked me up. We got told off for that. And then when that happened,

I thought, fuck this. I'm going solo. This isn't me up. We got told off for that. Really? When that happened, I thought, fuck this. I'm going solo. This isn't for me. Right, should we get John Richardson on? Yeah, because he's great. This is John Richardson. See him at the Hackney Empire. I probably won't be able to get a fucking babysitter who's hanging a mile from my house.

Right, it's John Richardson. Yeah, Lucy Beaumont's friend. John Richardson, hello. How are you? I'm very well. How are you? One of our first ever guests, I think. Yeah,. John Richardson, hello. How are you? I'm very well. How are you? One of our first ever guests, I think. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Back when, I don't think either of you had kids. It was a speculative podcast back then, wasn't it? You saw a gap in the market. Might as well set it up while we're trying for kids. Because you did one of the early ones. So thank you for coming back on. But also as well, thank you for doing it when we had no one listening.

Yeah, that's all right. I haven't received a sort of royalty check from the boost that i gave you no i believe you've done right since we've had your wife on twice since as well well that's why i've come back on this is more of a sort of legal response than a podcast this for me are you like amon and frankie do you remember amon and frankie oh fuck you right back that's thank you and fuck you right back this song no i don't remember amon had a song called Eamon and Frankie. Do you remember Eamon and Frankie? Oh, Fuck You Right Back. Fuck You and Fuck You Right Back. No, I don't remember. Eamon had a song called Fuck You and it was about his ex and slagging her off. And then she released a song called Fuck You Right Back.

Oh, right. Nice. I mean, when you say Eamon, our mind goes one place and it is not a singer. There's only one Eamon in the world, right? Eamon Holmes. That's Eamon. If you say Eamon, Eamon Holmes. True. That is the main Eamon. And what do you think of Eamon in the world, right? Eamon Holmes. That's Eamon. If you say Eamon, Eamon Holmes. True.

That is the main Eamon. And what do you think of Eamon Holmes, John? I'd love for him to release single, like, fuck you back a third time. Just to get back involved in it. To Ruth Langsford. It had feel for Ruth. I did The Wheel with him and he had a very bad back.

And I thought it was not a good booking for someone with a bad back to be basically spun around in a waltzer for an hour and then ask questions. Told to dance. Come on, Eamon, can you dance a bit? His back's fucked. He's had bad hips as well because he had to have his hips done. Now his back's gone, poor bloke. Did you enjoy dancing on the wheel, John?

I can't imagine a man who would like anything less. I was so shocked that you did the wheel because it doesn't feel like your comfort zone. I know why I did the wheel. I did the wheel because my mum likes the wheel and she likes Strictly and I had to tell her I'm never doing Strictly.

That's not happening. You will do Strictly I think at one point. Yeah, absolutely. I took the wheel to sugar the pill but then I enjoyed dancing on the wheel so much. Maybe Strictly's back on. What was your dance move on the wheel? Because I sort of found it difficult. Do you know when something's so awkward that you go the other way with it? It's actually worse to just sort of bop your head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did a full-on sarcastic cowboy rope and I flung it to the side and I pulled it so it looked as if I was driving the wheel. Didn't make the edit. I was on the wheel holding on, pretending it was getting really fast, going, ah, ah, because I thought that's quite a fun, but they just literally want dancing. Yeah, maybe it looked like you were genuinely terrified.

Maybe your performance was so good. Or maybe it looked like you were genuinely lassoing Eamon Holmes, and they were like, he's got a bad back, you can't lasso him as well. I was next to a pussycat doll, though, and she was dancing so well.

Yeah, I had the same with frankie bridge she's a trained dance she was in fucking s club juniors she's been doing it since the age of 10 in fairness that she's strapped into a chair how good can this dancing be that's what i thought john it looks like a full routine but just top half oh wow all right so it's just like but she's like it was hitting the mark and in time to the music we're all just sort of like a bomber in it we should say to the people that in time to the music. We're all just sort of like, a little bomber in it. We should say to the people that what happens on the wheel is that you have to do some dancing each first

for the camera shots before the wheel has started. So the whole room is stopped for you to do your dance, basically, except you and the wheel. You're strapped in being span and falls to dance before a quiz start. Yeah. Where did you both finish on the wheel? Middle. Is there a finish or a start?

What? There's like the leaderboard at the end. I wasn't one of the three that could have done the final question. It's fine. You're confused. Look, Rob tells me all I need to know. Well, I did the final question. Does that mean I was high up on the board?

Did you do the final question? Yeah, I helped one of 30 grand. So why don't you shove that up your ass, Rico? You're fucking judgmental eyes? I'm great at quiz shows, John. I reckon I'm better than you and you're the intelligent one. You've got to do catchphrase, John. You'd absolutely destroy it.

I've never done catchphrase. It's the same as Strictly. It's not the show itself. It's the fucking bonhomie of it all and the whole getting on with each other. Yeah, but catchphrase is easy. You're in and out. It's Maidstone. You barely know you're there i thought of you doing strictly john it would make my not even my year my life if you did strictly if your daughter to bring it back to

parenting yeah so you've got one child how old is she she's nearly seven so she probably watches strictly she's getting into it. Not yet, no. But as soon as you said that, my arsehole puckered a little bit. She will ask you. Because that is when you're asking me to do stuff. Do you think Lucy would do it? Oh, Lucy would do it, yeah. If only to have an excuse to leave me.

Do you think she is primed for the curse? Oh, she'd take Anton. She just wants out of the marriage. Imagine if your wife went on Strictly and had an affair with Anton. Not even one of the young dancers. A man older than you. Yeah. But what a set of buttocks.

I know. That's the thing with dancers. Their arses are unbelievable. They've all got massive arses that actually look like they're quite difficult to live with when they're not dancing. When we did ballet, me and Romesh, we just couldn't believe it. There's just massive arses everywhere. You need a power arse to jump, basically. Oh, is that what it is?

And core. It's nice to get an insight. So you're going to join the judging panel? Yeah. You've got a fracking power arse. I'm feeling confident that the arse on that one there, absolutely astonishing, should do well. You've got a good arse there, Rob.

You could do... I haven't got a good arse. I've got a flat arse. Who do you think of the three of us would do best on Strictly? I know... This would be the worst three people ever. I think you might get into it, John. I think you've got a bit of dancing in you. Yeah, that's the fear.

I am impressingly competitive when it comes to it. I think you'd enjoy the dancing. I think you'd absolutely hate the bit where you have to pretend that this is your dream. Well, that's it. That I can't do. And I can't do the being sad to see someone go Oh no! See you later.

Three left. Wallop. The bit where they dance at the end and then all the other competitors come in and kind of give them a big hug. You would be stood outside that. Like Ashley Cole on that Romaoma picture i'd already be in the car the minute they announce the results through to next week right see you later back into training ice bath seven in the morning i'd struggle with the vts they do each week where they have to theme it and it'd be like

you in a cafe or they'll go right you're sort of northern aren't you john so why don't we go film this in a coal mine you're like no i don't want to run a coal mine just come from the north thank you it's that first show as well when you've got to pretend that you're really pleased with the dancer you've got even though i mean they're lovely people but they're all sort of the same aren't they they're really good dancers but you've got to go oh i'm so pleased i got fabrizio or i don't know if you'd get Fabrizio. Take Fabrizio. That's the thing as well, I don't feel like I'd get on with my dancers.

I don't think I'd have a lot in common with someone who's dedicated their life to dance. Good news for Lou. That's what I always think when someone gets struck by the curse, when it actually comes down. I don't think it's a mental attraction, is it, Josh? No. But when it's then March the following year

and you're sat in with someone who's a dancer from Russia and you're like, she's not interested in any of the things I'm interested in. The Venn diagram of our interest is zero here. You're on the phone trying to get Russian TV put in your Sky package. It's amazing that they've got away with calling it the curse. And it sort of implies that there's any bad luck to it

rather than just you sellotaped a depressed middle-aged person to someone really fit for eight weeks. Bloody hell, what are the chances? I cannot believe it. Again. I would again all this will happen i think your daughter could force you on it what i would say is you can do the christmas special john which is like one dance so it's a week's worth of work and then your daughter's been there and seen you do the dancing rather than weeks and weeks is there things you would do for your

daughter tv wise do you know what i want it now i don't want us to get to a teenager and be asking me to do the voice i want now to do a pixar film or a cartoon or something because the cachet now means more to me yeah when she's older these are the good years she's gonna hate me as a teenager anyway so i do think like i don't know how to say this without it sounding personal you're the kind of dad that a teenager would hate. You worded that really nicely. I actually sounded confident. Very gentle with that, actually, Josh. Don't get in his head at all about that,

that his daughter's going to hate him. No, but I would say that I am as well. Do you know what I mean? I don't think I've got a hope. How to put this politely, you're the sort of pathetic twat your children will loathe in about two years no but there's dads that are perfect until they're 12 and then they're embarrassing do you know what i mean but also that what i'm thinking josh is saying is when they get to 18 19 they'll realize that you're one of the good guys. But when you're a teenager...

You weren't loading the dishwasher right all along for a reason. It'll all be, oh, he was right. Maybe he isn't while the marriage ended. Maybe it was her. Maybe it was mum. The parenting tip I give to all sort of new parents and the thing I read that made me feel best is a really good one because you tell it to people. If people kids are acting up you say oh actually if your kids are acting up

in front of you that means they love you and they know you love them unconditionally and you're the safe place that they can be the worst version of themselves and they know you'll still love them tomorrow and it genuinely is true but it's also like it's a really nice way of getting out of that conversation where you don't have to say, maybe your kids are just dicks. Sounds like you're not parenting them very well. So I've sort of got that excuse ready for when she hates me, like 12 to 18. Yeah. And then I like driving.

I'll pick her up from places. I'm quite practical. I'll sort her bills out online for her. Yeah, that's good. Early 20s, I'll come back. Yeah, you'll come back in strong pain off that credit card. Yeah, you're solid, aren't you? Yeah, that's it.

My dad is good at, like when I was buying a car, I could go to him and go, what do I need to do? What car do I buy? Do you know what I mean? Whack out the secret icer. Here we go. I think I started it when he was young. Yeah, I didn't tell her, obviously.

It would have been new back doors. No, no, that's the green way, yeah. But I think, though, because the youth of today are super like into the environment and into like being sustainable and they're like not really going out mad drinking they're quite sensible the youth coming through which you are so maybe your teenage daughters if she's like a greta thunberg type you're gonna be the apple of her eye because you're super into all that which i wanted to mention we crossed paths by a day at the hotel in Spain we both went to the same hotel in Spain and I went to the bar to watch a football and a bloke went oh John Richardson's here are you

John Richard and I thought what and I was like no that's an us going on a day because we nearly bumped into each other at Alton's house as well and then it turned out that you'd left the day I arrived from this place in Spain nothing personal nothing personal and then you messaged back going oh I'm on the train I was like what he was like oh I'm getting the train home because I've been looking to find a sustainable holiday destination in Europe that you can get a train to and from like because you live in Sheffield is that right yeah so yeah you got the train from Malaga and from Sheffield to Malaga and back. And I was like, blimey, I was like, how's Lucy and your daughter getting on with that? And then John said, they've flown without me.

It worked out for everyone. That must have been a joy, wasn't it, John? You're on the Orient Express home while your wife takes your kid on an easy jet flight. So the night I left, you can do it in two days. Did you get the train down there as well? I got the train down yeah so we took our time on the way down we had like a couple of nights in Paris

a couple of nights in the south of France and then we sort of broke it up. And that was as a family all together? Yeah they flew from Barcelona to Malibu and I did Barcelona I did the whole thing on the train yeah and it was just absolute paradise and I built in so like the night I left I did Madrid that night and did an overnight in Madrid went and found a little sports bar and watched the football on my own in a little

Madrid sports bar and then I had a night in the south of France the next night but walk around Nîmes it's got a little Roman amphitheater. Nice. It's one of those things where you have to sort of lie to your family about how good time away from this. You have to be like, obviously it would have been nice to fly all together. It would be more fun if you were here, obviously. However, this is the happiest I've been in years.

How long was you away for? It took me two days. So I'd set off on one night and then I did Madrid up to the south of France. And then the last day I did south of France all the way up to Sheffield.

So did you leave the hotel the same time as Lucy and your daughter? No, no, they got an extra night. So they got an extra night at the buffet. Oh, so you overlapped with Lucy but not with John, Rob.

Yeah. Yeah, their flight was delayed as well. I had this sort of planes, trains and automobiles fantasy that I was going to get there before them. They all smuck. But of course, their flight was delayed and they still got in a day and a half before me because they didn't get the fucking train from Malaga.

Malaga to Sheffield. I got all the way back and it genuinely lovely. Nobody talked to me on the train. I didn't have a single, no one was sat in my seat. There was no delays. Did you have any night trains, sleeper trains? No, I didn't because I didn't want to book a carriage just to myself and I didn't want to share with anyone else. And I thought, well, I've got time. I'll just stay in hotels. And I got all the way back and then I got the St. Pancras to Sheffield.

I sat on a table and there were two people on the table right opposite me, having just got the train from London to Malaga and back, was a BA flight stewardess. And she said, I've just landed from Islamabad. I'm off to LA on Thursday. And then when I get back from there, I'm going to Barbados for two weeks. I was like, what a fucking waste of my time. The woman opposite went, oh, I'm to japan in september it'll be my

29th visit and you're trying to save the world of your trains yeah what have you been up to i've been completely wasting my time for two days that's what i've been doing and cost wise was it more expensive than flying no it's quite cheap each leg is quite cheap and you can do longer at once but it was lovely just get a bottle of wine and sit and read and look out the window. I watched the World Cup final on my phone on the train because of dependable Wi-Fi. I'd love to know what you thought the minute I text you I'm getting the train back.

I would love to have seen your unadulterated instant reaction. I'm like, a fucking train? And I was trying to work out where you lived. And then I was like, my first thought was, has he taken his kid on a train for three days like that was my first fault and then when you said lucy and your daughter had flown i just pissed myself laughing yeah i was gonna send something back and saying well i'm telling you what flights i had booked going it's a waste of time john because i'm all over the gaff this year you might as well not bother but i think i was gonna say the flight was going without you

anyway john well i have had an experience where I was the only person on a plane once. Have you? Yeah, it was towards the end of the season. I think we were flying out to like Ibiza or somewhere like that. So basically the package holidays had all ended. So nobody was going out, but the plane had to go out and bring the people back for the start of term. So it must've been like September the 2nd or something.

I was literally the only one. I'd sit in the middle of the plane to sort of distribute. What? Because your weight would personally have... Yeah, I've had it on a small plane where there's only like two of you. They make one of you sit on each side. It's worrying when you think,

so you tell him if we both sit on the left, this thing's going down. If you go to the toilet, you have to walk across the aisle. Yeah. Can you go and chat to the pilot while I have a shit? Because otherwise this thing's going to crash. And what did you have to walk across the aisle yeah can you go and chat to the pilot while i have a shit because otherwise this thing's gonna crash and what did you say to your daughter about why he was getting the train because my kids my first one well why aren't you coming with us

do you explain to her that you're trying i said basically the only way that you'll have breathable air and a planet worth living on in 20 years is if we get the train and i know you and mommy don't give a shit about that but daddy actually really wants you to have breathable air in 20 years is if we get the train and i know you and mommy don't give a shit about that but daddy actually really wants you to breathe all air in 20 years but i did say it's hard because i don't want i think kids now get bombarded with the idea that the planet is in trouble and it's their job to fix it and i don't think that's fair so i just said i really like getting the train and my mom doesn't fly so i said i'm going to research the train so that nanny can come with us on the next holiday oh that's that's nice. That's good. Why does your mum not fly?

For the same reasons or Dennis Bergkamp style? No, she had a really bad flight about 10 years ago. She had a really bad flight and that paid to that. So now she just stays in and watches Strictly. Do you think you found your sustain? We won't say which hotel it is. I've not mentioned which hotel I stayed in. Do you think you found your sustainable destination?

You'd have mentioned it if they'd have paid for your visit, surely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. No, it was a good hotel. I'll tell you what I loved. This also sent Lucy mad. When I go on holiday, I pack my worst clothes. Right.

And then I leave them behind so that I take basically my shonkiest boxer shorts that are all like ripped at the gossip. Right. And then as i wear them i just bin them out there rather than bin them at home and then you make space in your luggage for like gifts that's clever do you know what i don't do my full outfit but i do take a couple of t-shirts i'm like that's only got a few wears in it yeah t-shirts get ruined this stink of sun lotion sweat they're horrible so you took your worst clothes i took a picture one day because i used to have poker nights with dan atkinson lloyd langford jason john whitehead when we're

up in edinburgh yeah just to play a bit of poker roaching and then you used to dress like a sort of poker twat yeah and then i realized unironically i've dressed the same way i didn't want to take my nice sunglasses i'll leave them on a train or something. So I found a pair. I think they're Lucy's mum's old sunglasses that were in our house. Oh, God. John, you didn't want to take your nice sunglasses. When are you going to wear them if you're not going to wear them on holiday? Also, that was a nice hotel. You would have stood out like some sort of fucking high school shooter

dressed like that because it was all aesthetic, white and stone and very Spanish. I've got this shirt that's too big for me that's got pugs on it and it's mint green. And I took a picture to send to Dan and Lloyd and Roisin to say, oh, look, I've turned into the person I used to pretend to be. And Lucy said, are you taking a picture of the day you stopped caring what your wife thinks?

Yeah, that was a tense moment. But then in this hotel, because it's an eco hotel, on the last day they put a little wicker basket in your room and it says anything you don't want to take put in this basket and we'll give to charity or recycle oh amazing we didn't have that in our room maybe lucy requested it yeah it is because that hotel's fully sustainable isn't it it's like it uses all its own water it's like an eco-hotel, which I totally booked by accident.

I don't give a shit. It's a nice little added bonus at the end. Yeah. How are you going to get to Hackney for your show at Hackney Empire, John? Private helicopter. I'm sort of offset. I'm fine now. I've got the train to Malaga.

I'll do what I want for the rest of the year. I shall get the train. Are you excited? Yeah, I think so. I've enjoyed this tour it's been nice the last tour i did i think because elsie's sort of nearly seven now she sort of understands me going away and she's glad when i get back has she seen you do stand up no she's remarkably not interested in any of the telly stuff we do it is weird we had a big thing like

i took her to hmv once to see my dvd in hmv because i think to my generation that is like that's the sign that you're doing something cool and she just wasn't asked i was like but i'm next to the super mario brothers movie like i'm in the same shop that's same too and that's debbie so she just doesn't really care i'm doing a preview of it tomorrow night and lucy said oh should we go and she could like watch the first half uh no she can't it's not that i talk about her but there's a lot of hemorrhoid would you find it stressful i'd just be ashamed of myself the idea whatever she pictures what i do for a living is better than the reality yeah because she loves seeing it's like well that's sort of what daddy does i go to theaters and i shows. No, but she's not listening to any of the content.

She's just seeing a room full of people being excited and cheering to see her dad. And you can play it down as much as you want, but that is a sold-out big theatre. You're used to it because you've played mega rooms. But if she comes and sees you in a big theatre, it's so exciting as a kid, clapping and cheering her dad. I think you should take her just to see it because she'll love it and then lucy can take her off after 10 minutes have you had your kids

come and see you do gigs yeah so i had them come to see me in south end and they sat on the side of the stage they run out for the sound check and all that and they could run around the theater and they found that fun and then they could see the room filling up and the music plan they just sat on two chairs side of stage by the tour manager and they just saw me walk out and then after about five ten minutes they got bored because they're not listening they don't care yeah it's not a great show but just to see that a room full of people cheer for their dad at that age is quite special isn't it so i think it's well worth doing if you took her to hmv john this is a step up from hmv she's just not impressed because she can't believe that you're still thinking about ds as a format what I'd say

is because you've got the Hackney Empire one which has been filmed maybe not that one because that might be quite stressful but you're doing loads of gigs you're doing York

Grimsby which is quite near you as well York Barbican is a lovely theatre oh York Barbican you could take her to there and see that

I'll tell you what I know I'm one of the early ones but the way you've seamlessly got the plug in for the tour, I've got to say you've really come on as... That was just such a beautiful bit of work, that. Also, the gigs you've got in here, Bournemouth, Portsmouth, Bristol, Derry, Belfast,

are you getting a train to Belfast? I want to get the ferry, so my dad lives in Heasham, so the plan is to get the ferry, because I also have a prop on this tour i don't know if you know i've become a prop comic i always thought you were but i didn't realize you were i do a full sort of sequin dance number can you tell us what the prop is or is it a giveaway from the poster oh no it's not the little penny farthing but it is a mode of transport i arrive on a mode of transport in the second half can't get that in the overhead locker

on a plane were you on a penny farthing when the photo was taken, or was it all photoshopped? No, it was a proper penny farthing. What's that like? Where do you think? It's just higher. No, but, like, is it difficult to ride? Were you in motion?

I'm going to Malaga on it next week. It's such a comfortable journey. For the poster, I'm leaning against a wall because it won't stabilise. Right, right. But I did a day with Andy Hollingworth. He just loves photography. He's an amazing photographer.

But he also, that day when I came to the studio, he said, I found out someone near me has got a penny farthing and I wanted to take pictures of it. So do you want to get on it? I was like, yeah. Oh, it's brilliant. Yeah. So he just seems to like being alive and stuff.

It's baffling to be around someone who's interested in things. What's your daughter like? Because I think since we last spoke to you, seven, she's probably forming her personality now. And she's got, I'd say, two quirky parents. She's funny. She is really funny. Yeah.

I'm sure it is because of what we do for a living, but she gets the idea of making people laugh i think all kids like entertaining it's one of those things whenever we're in a family thing they say oh she's going to be on the stage and i just think well all six and seven year olds like entertaining yeah it's a nice thing to do in it but she's really sassy like the changing cartoons from like the gummy bears of our generation to Teen Titans Go Now. She keeps calling me a dirty little vegan. She finds it hilarious.

Just say, shut up, you dirty little vegan. And it is really funny, but she's hilariously rude. And how would you feel if in 10 years she said, Dad, I'm doing stand-up and I'm going to take a show to edinburgh and i'm flying from sheffield international yeah fair enough i'd say well i've obviously i'm pleased that you've seen me do stand-up and realize that this is an art form that needs improvement i can do that better surely there'll be no edinburgh festival by then i don't think surely that's hopefully that's what i don't think, surely. Hopefully not.

That's what I don't mind what she does to me. And I think she will, if you ask her now, she wants to run a puppy parlour. A puppy parlour. But my wife, as anyone who listens to this show will know, she's a wonderful, passionate, impulsive person who does things that she thinks will be fun. And it's my job to think of the consequences. They're out now.

What do you think of this? She... Well, I think we know what you think of it. Before you start... She said, can I have a fab lolly? 10 o'clock in the morning. Is this Lucy or your daughter? My daughter, yeah.

Lucy just helps herself. We don't have a padlock on the fridge where we are now, do we? You should just put it in the top drawer of the freezer. She said, can I have a fab lolly? And I said, no, because it's 10 o'clock in the morning and you didn't eat your breakfast. And she said, oh, mummy promised me one. And I spoke to Lucy and she said,

I told her she could have a fab lolly if she ate a pan of chocolate. She's bribing her to eat. That's a treat, isn't it? Yeah, that's a dessert. She's bribing someone to eat what in itself is a treat. I think a fab lolly is probably lower sugar content. Yeah. She's out with it now, so good luck.

I assume she's just doing parkour around the streets of Keswick. On the podcast I do with Fordy, Down the Dog. Oh, it's your new one, isn't it? Because you're not doing the fantasy football one. Basically sacked off the FPL. It's the same podcast, but without the admin. Yeah. The football admin where I have to pretend to be glad for other teams

when really I hope every team in the Premier League goes out of business. Also, Leeds aren't in the Premier League anymore now, so it's not fun for you. I couldn't give a shit who wins out of Luton and Arsenal. I couldn't give a toss. Bloody Ipswich away this weekend, mate. Oh, that's a tough game. You'll lose that. I'm going to say it's Plywich away this weekend mate that's a tough game you'll lose that

I'm going to say because Plymouth Argyle for Christ's sake because I'll be honest with you I love you and Matt but I don't do fancy football so I wouldn't listen

to the podcast but I would listen to it now because there's not all the FPL stuff download it now I can see your screen in your glasses yeah

I could download that I said we've been to so Alton Towers when you were there yeah i did a hack on the podcast and then i worried i'd sort of lost the guy's job because there's a way of getting you know the big teddies my daughter wanted one of the giant teddies oh yeah i keep losing on that yeah so what you do you get to the park first thing you're going like

literally as the gates open you don't go to a ride you go to the very corner of the park to one of those sort of games where they're not getting a lot of trades. And they will just give you a Big Teddy because they know if you walk around with a Big Teddy all day, it says to other parents, oh, you can win the big thing. So you just pay them cash for the Big Teddy? You get in the corner and the guy will say to you,

if you buy three balls, I'll give you a Big Teddy anyway. So how much did you spend on the Big Teddy? Like a five. Because he just said, if you have a go, I'm going to make sure you buy three balls i'll give you a big teddy anyway so how much did you spend on the big teddy like a five because he just said if you have a go i'm gonna make sure you win because they know then you walk around with it all day because their kids go that daddy's won one why can't you win me one so you basically won 300 quids worth of depressed parents and do you feel all right about that yeah because i got a big teddy how do you sleep at night with that? Yeah, because I've got a big teddy. How do you sleep at night with a big teddy? That's how I sleep.

Made in China, flown over. Yeah, it's hung up in her bedroom. All her mates come round and we just have a lie that we've concocted together that I actually got the basketball in the hoop. Even though it's not round, it's a sort of oval, but you can't tell. That's what it is, dirty bastard. It's a fucking oval hoop, isn't it? Well, that's it. So take the big teddy.

So if anyone's listening, get there early, get to the thing, get a big teddy. And that got in the paper, did it? From talking about it? Yeah, the tabloids picked it up, like a parenting hack that will keep your kids happy. And then I thought, oh, no, this guy's going to lose his job. Yeah, and you're fucking treading on our territory.

You're not doing Premier League. We're not doing fucking parenting shit, mate. What am I downloading here? Series 1, because it says you've got Series 2, Episode 70, your league we're not doing fucking parenting shit mate what am i downloading is series one because it says you've got series two episode 70 but they're not all down the dog are they no it became down the dog sort of two episodes ago so what series is that you can go back and listen to some of the fbl stuff if you like while rob's doing that john i've got to ask i watched elton john with your wife at glastonbury right. I thought you meant they'd done a show together.

I don't remember that. Was it on the way up? Yes. She seemed to imply it wasn't something you wanted to do with your weekend. No, I can't think of anything worse. And it's one of those, like, you've got to balance things that are good for the marriage to do together.

Yeah. Obviously, she wants to go to Glastonbury, but I just said i will ruin it for you it's just better that you go with people who will enjoy it have a good experience john you're speaking my language i fucking hate glastonbury so you was at home with your daughter then for that weekend we went to uh center parks i would have rather done that than glastonbury i can't stand glastonbury what do you hate about it john you've never been john do you know the only point i was jealous was the pretenders.

I watched a bit of the pretenders in the afternoon and that was the only time I was like, I would like to have been at that, but not anything else. It's the people. There's too many people pretending to enjoy themselves, isn't there? Maybe people are enjoying themselves. They're not. Not as much as their face trying to tell you. Did you do Glastonbury the way my wife did Glastonbury, Josh,

where you're staying somewhere very nice and someone pictures you. Oh, did she stay somewhere very nice? You start the day with someone brings you like huevos rancheros to a year oh see that's a bit more me Josh got me in into a caravan behind the alternative stage it was a little bit too swampy for me the thing that got me this year was the flags there was a batman game on like the commododore 64 where you had to fly the Batwing and you had to scoop all these methane-filled balloons. How has someone not got a drone to just cut all these massive flags that people have got?

Oh, that'd be fun, wouldn't it? It's not for you, John. It's not for you. Yeah, absolutely. You kids go and enjoy yourselves. I was being proper grand. You kids have fun. What if Elsie wants to go?

She can go with her friends. Absolutely. And with Lucy. So she's 14 and she wants to go and you think oh i probably should go as an adult to kind of nah she can't go 14 on her own she's asking you john dad john dad john dad dad mum's working with elton john again but not a glass to reach he's got another gig with him i'm 14. I absolutely love Dua Lipa and she's headlining the first time Dua Lipa's headlined Glastonbury and I know for a fact that you can get us tickets and

access to the good bits because you can do a set Friday at one o'clock and we can have Glastonbury together. Please. I'll probably do it. Yeah, I'll probably do it because i haven't seen you for a long time i'm the same as you john i'll have to give in and go but it's hard isn't it it was the point where you said if you do the gig i was like god now i've got a gig there as well why would you

do gigs at festivals it's hard enough in comedy clubs so you take away the walls and the chairs and the attention span i can honestly say now i will never be doing latitude again and that's not just because they're booking policy towards me not just because they haven't sniffed around me in eight years after i delivered a quite dreary set in 2015 i honestly say now according to this email i will never be playing latitude again reading and leads is the worst thing in the world because you suddenly feel it's bad for me but for you John I feel 600 years old at Reading and Leeds Yeah well there speaks a man who's never done V Festival Oh I did V Festival

I bet Rob fucking loved V Festival I ripped it at V Festival the only time I've done better was at the Butlins Comedy Festival where I fucking moved it to the point where poor old late night gimp fight didn't know what day of the week it was. Not their fault, but get Beckett or

Butlins. I think Jim Davidson and Brian Connolly were the only people that could follow that. That's my absolute bread and butter. And Davidson couldn't because he'd done most of his material. Rule him out. Oh, can I say something about Latitude quickly before we move on? Paul McCaffrey, talk about not being invited back. Paul McCaffrey won Latitude New Act of the Year in like 2010,

where he went there and did the New Act competition and won it, never got invited back. Maybe that's the prize. Yeah, you don't have to do it. If you win the New Act competition, you don't have to play any festivals. This might be counterintuitive to people. You're quite chilled out in a way as a parent with things she can go to things she can do yeah i think so i don't know if it's because i sort of came to parenting late i didn't think

i was going to have kids so that anyone who saw any of my material in my 20s wasn't a big fan of the old people i think they all agreed that they didn't think he was going to have kids those early years of your stand-up lucy was on the fence for a number of years but i think now it seems like it's such a sort of free gift i pretty much do anything i like getting out with her i like doing stuff has it changed you as a person john yeah depressingly yeah it's hard doing comedy when you're sort of mellowing out i think i'm done i think this might be the last thing i ever do i got the train from london back to sheffield after that and i was exhausted i was sick of when you're sort of mellowing out. I think I'm done. I think this might be the last thing I ever do. I got to train from London back to Sheffield and I was exhausted.

I was sick of trains. And a woman sat next to me who just talked the whole... I had headphones in and she talked to me through my headphones. Oh, God. And years ago, I would have been like, right, well, this is going to be a bit.

I'm going to do 10 minutes on you. And now it's just like, oh, she's probably just lonely and she's probably had a bad day but it's depressing being sort of mellow and seeing the other side of things it doesn't make you a good comic the best comics are the saddest yeah absolutely just absolutely play people alive don't ever put the other side of an argument don't ever be rational or reasonable just absolutely sweep an audience up into your number of people who come up to you and say do you know i love that afterlife when he calls that kid a fat c word and you're like i don't think i could write that

i don't think i'd do that too clever for you yeah absolutely too true it's great that you're way more mellow now and like as a parent you're really chilled and you're loving it you're really enjoying all of it where you at 25 i remember reading your book you wrote that book where you talk about when you lived in swindon and all that and it was quite bleak in places and you've really felt for your life i was really upset yeah i know it was terrible time for you but how, say, for example, that you had a kid at 25 and you'd met someone who was in that house in Swindon and how you felt about yourself and your life and your job.

How do you think you would have been a parent at 31 with a six, seven-year-old compared to you now having kids later? I don't know. I think parenting is really good at forcing you to look at yourself. And I think the one thing, I'm not particularly keen on myself but the one thing you do is you look at all your worst traits you think how can I make sure my daughter doesn't inherit the things that I don't like about myself and the one thing that I don't want her to get from me is the sort of taking things really seriously and being meticulous about planning and

all that so I think when I'm around her I just make such an effort to pretend I'm not that person then you start thinking oh I'll just do that because it's better it's actually better not to be the person I've been all my life I don't want it to be me so I'll just be someone else it's easier yeah but I think though you've got a warped version of yourself because you're so hard on yourself and horrible to yourself actually and I met you nearly probably 15 years ago and out of 10 cats it're still the nicest anyone's ever been to me in the industry and incredibly nice John and caring as well where you said oh first time on it is there any subjects you feel stronger about I'll make sure that we get that subject and let you get some get some jokes out early doors and it was I was so scared and so worried and you put

me at so much ease and I've never forgot that it was amazing but I think you've always been like that but in your own head you would never say oh that was nice what I did you discounted that and it just went over all the horrible things but I think by having a kid you are taken out of yourself and that you treat them like you treat other people you meet all the time because that's what you're like and i think you just it's almost having a daily reminder of actually no i'm a good person i'm nice and polite and i care because you are actively doing that towards your kids so i think in a way it sort of brought your out your own mind having a child yeah well that's very nice i know secretly the reason i'm nice to people is because

it's more that i'm scared of them not liking me. And I know the deep poison that lies what an awful person is underneath. I'm going to need allies. The question I need you to answer though is, having seen what's happened to him since, do you regret giving

Rob Beckett that foot up? Oh, absolutely. That was the time to put the foot on his throat. If I could go back now, I'd say, we're going to do the Greek financial crisis first, Rob, and you better have

some good gear on it. Can't we talk about the World Cup? Well, they used to put the new economics on my side, I think, because I would do that. But that specific thing of asking what he wanted

to open with, I've got to credit Jason Manford because he did that to me and I thought, I think, because I would do that. But that specific thing of asking what he wanted to open with, I've got to credit Jason Manford because he did that to me. And I thought, I'm always going to do that because that's such a lovely thing to do. All roads lead back to Manford. Once you've been on telly a while, you realise, I've got nothing. The new person will have written loads. Yeah, let them warm it up.

It looks like a nice thing to do, but really you're saying, I've got fuck all on this, mate. You do, Ted. It's like sending out the openers to actually face the proper pace bowlers and then you can come out later on with your actual jokes on something you want to talk about yeah i'm exhausted after 10 minutes of doing all my stand-up material pretending it was new written stuff why don't you do your material to warm up the crowd now and once they're going i'll bring out my material that's the way it's gonna i'll do some ad libs off the back of your hardly worked crafted stuff and we'll go from there say it's so lovely to see how much you're enjoying being a dad because

from reading your book to seeing you as what a really chilled out like fun dad i know we sort of wind you up with your sort of getting the train and stuff like that but you're a brilliant dad and you love your daughter so much you can sort of see the joy you have from it where that book i didn't see much joy in that book what was it called that one that book it's not me it's you it's funny book really good book but i was like i got an email from my publisher they emailed my agent saying can you tell john to stop slagging his book off because every time anyone mentions it's a good book, it is a good book. I read it as well. I've just gone on your website and I had to click that I'm not a robot.

John, do you really think you've got a lot of issues with robots trying to tap into your website? Russian bots turning up buying tickets. That's my theory. I turn up at the Hackney Empire and it's just a row of smart toasters. We're talking of the Hackney Empire. Yeah, there's only a few tickets left for that

and that is going to be John Richardson at his absolute best because you've got to film it, so the pressure's on. It's filmed for TV, John. Have you sold it to TV already? Yeah, it's going to telly because, as you pointed out, the DVD market is dead. As for VHS, that was a no-go from the start, I'm told. So, yeah, kindly a channel has stepped in to broadcast it

because Netflix do not know or care who I am. Hackney Empire, the 7th of September. Do you want a Steve Wright, Rob, or shall I Steve Wright it? You like Steve Wright, innit? Give it a Steve Wright. Grimsby, the 14th, the 15th, York, September 28th, September, York. Again, he's bloody popular in York. Salford Quays the next night, Salford Quays the night after. Bloody hell, John.

They'll double up, yeah, and I've already done Manchester Apollo. Oh, my word. Well, Salford and Manchester are very different places, John. You and I know that. Absolutely. That's why I put the Salford ones in, to show due respect. Swansea Arena, Cardiff New Theatre, Sunderland

Empire, Bournemouth Pavilion, Portsmouth Kings Theatre, Bristol Beacon, Derry Millennium Forum, Belfouth Pavilion, Portsmouth Kings Theatre, Bristol Beacon, Derry Millennium Forum, Belfast Waterfront, and then Stringer Geeks in Australia. But there's a four-week break for you to get there. This is properly it as well. It's not one of those, I'm not touring like you lads do, where I'll stick a few more in. This is it.

I'm done with this show. What's that like, little snipe at the end? You've toured for like four years, you guys. I tore for four years due to COVID, John. It's a thing called supply and demand, John, actually. I think you'll find. Exactly, yeah. The demand is waning and my supply is getting cut right off.

There's no more. Where are you doing, Australia? I'm not doing Australia. You're not? I was a joke about him. I'm flying. Oh, of course. You get the odd tweet was a joke about him. I'm flying. Oh, of course. You get the odd tweet, don't you?

It's really upsetting. Sometimes someone are like from some rural place in America, like, oh, I'm in Kentucky. I think you're brilliant. Why don't you play in here? You don't want to reply like, you're the only person in Kentucky

who's got any fucking idea where I am. If I played Kentucky, it would have to be your front room and it would not be economically valuable. You should go to Australia. That's a great fun. I did do it, yeah. I got pneumonia.

I caught someone on the plane, got pneumonia, missed the first week when you do all the press. So my run sold really badly. Oh, no. And then I had some nice work when I got back.

I had to cancel all that because it was the year of the volcanic ash cloud. And I got stuck in Australia for a week. I had to cancel a lot of gigs here. Well, it's been lovely to talk to you, John. It's ended in the style that we... Oh, shall we do the final question?

The final question about Lucy. One thing that frustrates you about Lucy and the way she parents, and if she were to listen to this, she'd probably go, actually, he's got a point, without it being an argument. And one thing that she does that makes you go,

oh, I'm so lucky to have a child with this person. Has she done this then? She didn't do the positive one. She refused. No, because we She didn't do the positive one. She refused. No, because we hadn't started doing the positive one there until someone mentioned we should, and we thought we're not arrogant enough to not immediately take someone's advice

as a format point straight off the bat. The one thing, well, she would say that she's stopped doing this now as well, but she used to do a thing where if she wanted Elsie to do something rather than, I don't want to be like a wanky, you know, you can explain things to kids and just be honest. But I do think it's always better to just be honest and say,

no, you can't have that because I'm saying no. But Lucy would sort of do these ridiculous lies. But if we were out, she'd say, oh, there's a sign there that says you can't have fab lollies until you've eaten all your peas. And it would absolutely drive me nuts. It clearly said, like, toilet. So it says there that the ice cream machine's broken. And now Elsie can read.

She's had to stop doing it. And it's really, it's really the marriage. And the positive thing she does is... So you're at Hackney Empire, 7th of September. It's been a joy. If I've got an ability to chill and not take things seriously, it's because I've got it from her. Because she is very...

Because she is just an absolute ocean of chaos. She's learned to be quite adaptable. And there's nothing like not having a front door key to make you realise that it's time for a fun stay in a hotel because you can't get into your house. You get to dress it up as fun. I think if she loses one more key to our house, I think we'll be the only people in the country who can't get into our house.

Maybe she's the person that's chilled you out and made you so happy, John. She has that 25-year-old who wrote the book who thought, if I don't use a coaster, then the world will fall apart. The best thing that could have done to him is to marry someone who doesn't ever leave the house with keys, phone or credit card. And it's all right. It turns out all right. Do you think maybe you were wrong when you were younger? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I was wrong. Yeah, bang wrong. Yeah. But in a way that made me a better comedian. Luckily, you're still a top level comedian and good luck with the rest of the shows. Pleasure to speak to you. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Thank you very much. Nice to speak to you. John Richardson there. Love John Richardson.on great guy he is a nice man even if he claims not to be also he's an incredible comedian and still very funny i'd say probably funnier than he was when he was 25 and his book's really good it's a little bit bleak but it's really fun to read i think now knowing that he's really happy and chilled i think if you read it when it first come out you might be a bit worried for his welfare but now you can read it and go oh there's hope at the end of the tunnel there's just a man getting drunk on a train from malaga to sheffield he was one of those people that i respected so much that i

thought oh right you have to hate your life to be good at comedy so i blame him for about 10 years no but you can just pretend to hate your life maybe was that the answer i know yeah that's what i'm doing now just pretending to hate your life just pretending to hate my life it's much easier yeah but what for the podcast or just in person just every day i think you're allowed to hate your life in moments I don't hate my life Yeah I do Love my life I love my life

We're back on Tuesday For another hour of life that I love And go and see John I think the Hackney one would be good to go and see But if you're not in London Yeah I should go to that shouldn't I You should just round the corner Unless Rose is going out for some dinner.

September the 7th. Oh, I am free. Oh, no, I'm not. What are you doing? I won't be there. I'm filming. Oh, I'm busy. Yeah, Rob.

It's one of the issues I've got. I can't say no. See you next week. See you on Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Hello. I'm Giles Brandreth.

And I'm excited to tell you about my brand-new podcast, Rosebud. It's me talking to famous and fascinating guests about their first memories. There's Dame Judi Dench talking about her first love. We were about six. I came up one day, and he was sitting up on the wall, and he said to me, I think we should call each other darling.

Did you call each other darling? No, I didn't agree. And Alison Hammond not talking about hers. Who was your first proper boyfriend? This is very in-depth, this is, isn't it? I'm not sure this is going to be on Daily Mail. Come on, Alison, spill the tea. She does eventually.

That's Rosebud with me, Giles Brandreth. Download and listen whenever you get your podcasts. Can't wait to share Rosebud with you.