Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S7 EP13: My Calves Never Get Cold

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parents in hell with rex can you say rob beckett beckett and can you say say Josh Widdicombe?

Josh Widdicombe. Good point. That's actually a bonus one. They've sent both their children. Here it is. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdicombe?

Josh Widdicombe? I just say cunt. Good boy. There we go. He called you a cunt. He didn't call me a cunt. He said Michael, you're a cunt. Did he? Let's have a listen. I just say cunt.

He did, Josh the cunt. Are we bleeping that? Don't know. Not his bit. No. You'll understand what we're saying by what he said. This is a 24-month-old Artie and Rex having a go at the intro. We love listening to...

Oh, they must be twins. We love listening to your podcast every week, especially hearing stories about Josh's son. We feel like we have two versions of him. So our lives are absolute carnage, but your podcast gets us through. Please find some more stories of twin parents to keep it sexy and relatable for families and multiples yeah we do need to find some more celebrity twin parents who's got twins jedward's mom and dad jedward's mom and dad they're on the show love

from emily and josh in nottingham we do try and get a real cross-section of people yeah but it's sometimes difficult to get people that are known and available we're really struggling with people that have undergone tough divorces they're not as in up for it yeah that's the thing we do want to speak to more people that are like either you know divorced or single parents or whatever but sometimes not everyone's keen keen to discuss what i would say is though we don't pay our guests so if you did come on you wouldn't have to give them half that would be the the one bonus how are you josh i'm very good last time we spoke i'm dipping for the line of the summer holidays rob what's that you're dipping for the line i'm dipping for the line and it's still a long way away because last time we spoke we did a quick john richardson sort of intro which was more about john richardson and the strokes however the time before that i was just going off on holiday you were very busy yeah you were quite stressed yeah how are you feeling well i would say i'm not on my most

spiritually enlightened no okay the summer holidays are not as fun as you think they might be not very spiritually enlightening no well i told you this last time, didn't I? That I got to the three-week mark and I said to Rose, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Yeah, yeah, I remember that, yeah. And it's been tough since. Last week, it was fine, but... Can I say something that'll make you annoyed?

Yeah. You know my brother who said, like, oh, after a couple of months, the baby will be fine, we'll be on top of it. It is? Yeah. His baby sleeps 11 hours a night. Oh, my God. Every night. Oh, my God. All the way through near enough. Wakes up one quick feed, but then... it'll be fine we'll be on top of it it is yeah this baby sleeps 11 hours a night oh my god every

night oh my god all the way through near enough wakes up one quick feed but then our bedtimes are fucking right off at the moment it's two hours 45 minutes all in what to get him into bed and to sleep from start to land we don't have a bedtime routine anymore no but when you've got a two-year old rob you forget yeah true how resistant they are to things. He doesn't want to do bedtime. And so everything's a battle. Except he will go to sleep. You can't just leave him in the room to sort of watch telly or iPad or read.

No, he can't put himself to bed. No. The solution, we don't really do bedtime, doesn't work with a two-year-old. Yeah, I forget you've got to. Oh, do you know what? I think you're wasting your time. Let him bath get changed and then get him but yeah yeah just let him have a play and then pop himself in bed climb up the top bunk yeah he's fucking mental honestly it's such a bad every stage is a battle yeah but josh it goes so quick these are just such precious

moments you're missing he is great for the rest of the day. But at bedtime, his can-do attitude is fucking annoying. In what way? He's just so positive during the day. And then that positivity at bedtime needs to fucking rain its neck in, mate. That, I want to play. So he's too positive at bedtime as well? Yeah, because he's like, I want to play. You know, I don't want to get out of the bath.

I don't want to go to bed. He loves life too much, Rob. Has he got a nap in the day? Yeah, but you can't take that away or he goes insane. It's not that he's not tired. Because when he gets in bed, he goes to sleep. There's not a problem with him being tired. He's just resistant.

The panic in your eyes when I suggested he doesn't have a daytime nap. That panic check. No, no. You didn't like that. On a Saturday, Rob, I take the freedom. I'm anchored to the fucking house. What time's his nap? Twelve till half two.

Oh, it's a long nap. Can't you shorten the nap? No, because it's the best bit of the day, Rob. I know, but he's not going to bed at night. He is. He's not. It's not that he's not. He was exhausted last night.

No, no. As soon as he gets in bed, he goes to sleep. But you can't get him into the bed. He just wants to live his life. Maybe if you'd shortened it by an hour, he might go to bed an hour earlier. No, he wouldn no. As soon as he gets in bed, he goes to sleep. But you can't get him into the bed. He just wants to live his life. Maybe if you'd shortened it by an hour, he might go to bed an hour earlier. No, he wouldn't. No.

No. Okay. No, it's not that. No, no. It feels like quite a simple maths equation here. That's not how... All right, Russell Kane. If he's taking two and a half...

I'm just saying. If he's taking two hours 45 to get him into bed and he's sleeping for two and a half... No, no, no, no. That's both of them. Right, okay, yeah. He's taking an hour, but it's the longest hour of my life. Yeah, the hour is get him up there get him undressed all of these are battles get him in the bath right bath him get him out the

bath that's a battle they're all battles dry him put on his eczema cream get him into his bedroom put on his nappy put on his sleeping clothes stuff let him play with my daughter sounds like your bedtime read some books watch some videos on the ipad of songs calming songs get in bed yeah every single one of them is about right he doesn't want to do any of them no well i just think you need to shorten the nap that's all i'm saying you're an idiot that's my instinct okay i'm an instinct player well i don't want your instinct I don't want your instinct. I don't want your instinct. Your kids get up at half five. They won't go to bed last night either.

They just come down and start pretending they like football. They watch the... Just watch the football. Do you know what you want to try, Rob? What's that? Just be more chilled out with the bedtime. I'll be honest with you. I genuinely couldn't be more chilled out with the bedtime

because I don't know what time they go to bed. I don't even think they washed last night. It's getting feral in our house is that summer holidays I feel like yeah I feel like now I'm not really a dad anymore

I've just got two lodgers that's what it feels like but because they're getting old now we came back from the holiday in Spain so they've been staying up later

obviously classic British Airways Josh I know you love them but they were cancelled the flight a few days before why do you do it yourself rob but what i would say to them is they're very good on the app to rebook the cancelled flight so they've not solved one problem but once the flights cancel they've made it quite easy to rebook another flight so i will say that's pretty good i'd say that is faint praise also as well i didn't know

i'm a uh silver member of ba i didn't realise that doesn't surprise me you're on planes every fucking day of the week I know and I don't know what that means but then we were queuing up for an hour at Malaga airport and I got to the front

and there was like a business queue and a little thingy queue you've been in the oh no and she was like you could have gone in there you know

but you know what I don't want to be in there because all the people in there are big fat bellied red faced old men that stomp through excuse me i've actually got my loyalty i just look at them i'd rather fucking wait here give it 10 years i'd rather wait here than be part of that fucking little gang anyway

the old silver membership gang oh silverback silver membership red face fat bastard gang shuffling through their briefcase and their sad dreams. I feel like I'm going to be that fat bloke. Give it another few years. You won't ever have a briefcase. The thought of you with a briefcase. Excuse me. Nothing in it.

Nothing in it. Another little bottle of squash. Just a Game Boy. Just my DS. DS, what, Switch? That's what I've got. You know, hanging around with you too much. Do you want to hear about the holiday?

Should I talk to you about what happened? Yeah, and then I'll tell you about my morning. Not morning, this morning. A morning. Right, so my kids are five and seven, aren't they? Nearly eight and six. So they near enough say all words correctly, apart from a couple. Oh, yeah.

Here we go. And me and Lou have decided that we're not going to correct them on these ones to see how long it lasts yeah so we got surpicious for suspicious suspicious suspicious yeah that's very suspicious yeah and we got if an obstacle is osticable yeah an alcoholic is alcoholic why are you talking to them rob about alcoholics suspicious and obstacles i'm suspicious he's an alcoholic no well no because i'm suspicious that mommy's an alcoholic i'm not it's clear as day no because when we was on holiday they said do you want some special kids champagne it was that fizzy stuff yeah she said this isn't aloholic is it oh yeah also we ventured into a new stage

of dinner time josh of no ipads at the dinner table on holiday whoa now exactly we've discussed this before but i vividly remember being on holiday with rose before we had kids yeah and seeing a family with their kid with an ipad and thinking that is a shame yep same here and now yeah now i just do anything for my children to just sit at the table just that little bit longer on holiday and by that little bit longer i mean at least until my main has arrived yeah yeah and so you can eat without feeling sick but well no mine are older now so you can chat to them and like we've been playing uno with them yeah they like playing uno i mean the tears and tantrums at losing but

they've got to learn what is uno it's a card game isn't it uno is a card game where the different colors different numbers and it all goes around in a circle and it's quite simple so it's like a card game but it's so simple that young kids can you know my five-year-old's playing it and stuff but they're just so obsessed with winning but then you find like they're having absolute complete tantrums and meltdowns over uno and they're like wouldn't it be better but they were so tired as well so we did the first two nights with ipads at dinner and went no it stops we had three nights that were golden where we chatted to them played uno then the last two nights were fucking hell and we were like we should have brought the card there was one night where my daughter was so tired and so fed up and stressed

and she she's been quite rude and i was like no say please and thank you she was like refusing and then she was playing with her water and then she smashed the like knocked over her water and it fell on the floor and then the customer service this hotel was amazing and i don't know why it was so good i don't know if they were paid more so that's the selling point for that hotel or it felt like the only other reason would be that the owner of the hotel has taken all their families hostage and they've been forced to work until they come home safe and i wouldn't rule it out rob any five-star on trip advisor but i think there's a bit more in spain i think there's a bit more pride in customer service and working in a

restaurant than in england did the manager kiss the waitress on the lips to thank her for uh no he didn't actually he grabbed his groin after every call. And anyway, so she spilt this water because she was like being a bit like trying to sleep in the chair and being a bit thingy. But she was tired. She'd been in the sun all day. And then she spilt this water

and then the guy went on his hands and knees to clear this water up. And my daughter, I looked down, refused to move her feet so he could wipe under her feet. Oh my God. I nearly fucking decapitated her yeah i was like the anger levels of just like and it touched every part of me of like we take this nice hotel you're being rude you've spilled water which is fine people have accidents but now you're refusing to move your feet while someone tries to wipe under your feet what have i bred you know what it's gonna be and i was just so oh god so angry but then i was like

like i calmed down a bit i was like no they've just been forced to sit it was an all-inclusive so you basically sat down eating three times a day yeah seven days a week but like in the end she said to the man sorry and moved her feet and stuff like that but this rage that went through me i was like this is not okay because it taps into various things, doesn't it? Like that you're so worried about creating within your child, like entitlement. Yeah, holidays is our thing, mine and Louie. That's what we spend our money on. We don't have much other flash stuff or anything. I'd say, Rob, holidays is 100% your thing.

Some people buy a flash watch. Some people like cars. Some people like madhouse or whatever. For us, we spend all our money on holidays. Some people buy a flash watch and then they can't go in the sea on holiday, Rob. Exactly. like cars some people like madhouse or whatever for us we spend all our money on holidays some people buy a flash watch and then they can't go in the sea on holiday rob exactly people aren't different so i'm just sort of like every part of me was like and then as i did that the other one was picking her nose and i was like don't pick your nose i'm not picking it i'm scratching it

i was like how do you prove otherwise ignore that And then we're sort of telling one off. And the other one is now drinking ice cream out of a bowl. So it's all just kicked off completely. And then the waiter knocked a glass and smashed a glass, right, by accident. But it looked like it was our kid. I literally went, she's drinking ice cream out of a bowl. What do we do? I went, if we just look the other way, it's not happening.

We just agreed to look the other way while she drank ice cream out of a bowl josh and then i became that parent that i'm like don't just pretend it's not happening my back was against the wall it was oh man i left that normally my children i pride myself and they're very polite very well behaved very kind you know genuinely you know and if they ever are but three nights of uno can push people too far i think the problem you've got is i'll let my daughter win at snakes and ladders but there's only one of her yeah because my son's obviously too young to play snakes and ladders so you aren't in a position with uno where there's ever going to be a game where one of your daughters

isn't going to be pissed off no but what you can do is like when the other parents there you can sort of stitch them up slightly or whatever but the other day both of us me and luke got out straight away it was a head-to-head between the two daughters like this is bad oh no because also so this is everything was playing football there was a little father side thing and i wanted to play football just playing football one was in goal and then the uh other one wanted to just play against me it was first to 10 and obviously i'm better than her at football because she's seven doesn't play and it was first to 10 and obviously i'm better than her at football because she's seven times and play and she was like i was letting her score and all that and she was like yeah i'm so good at football i'm better than you but and i was like well

i'm gonna have to win this so i let it get to nine all then i scored the winner and i was like i can't just allow her to win and think that she's just like because she was giving it the massive large one and i was like no i won that and then she was like oh i went but did you enjoy it she was like yeah i said to lou i was like yeah i don't think we should just let them win everything at this age she's seven nearly eight right we've got to get to the point we're like no there are levels to this right and i am better than you i didn't say this to her no however i just when it came to the final kick i'm not missing on purpose to let her win what does that teach you and lou was like are you being serious i was like yeah she was like you sound like someone of gb news i was like yeah no

but maybe i do give it 10 years but i don't know the right but i can't just keep letting them win in everything yeah what do you think i don't know what to do when they're young like it's difficult because do you know what when i let my daughter win and i'm not smashing them it's not like 10 you're finished let's go on it's like i'm letting them get a few in and going oh well done and stuff like that don't play that many things where it comes up so she's not really that into competitive sports in that sense she's more into gymnastics or throwing herself off the sofa and stuff. Yeah. But it might come. I can never believe that she can't see what I'm doing. Like, I find it baffling that your daughter can't see that you're easing off.

Because in my head, I'm like, well, he's fucking 37, mate. He plays football every Tuesday. Do you genuinely believe it's 9-0? I can't believe this. Yeah, I wouldn't say that to her no no no but i can't believe it when the kids fall for it you know what i mean so you're like well this is a bit of harmless fun and then you're like no they genuinely think yeah and then it's like oh i'm better than you this and i'm like one i don't care if she thinks that i'm not like no actually let's

break this down that was a great performance from it but i'm like she can't just live a life thinking does she because everyone should never get better then right in with your stories oh yeah how do you compete against your children because the barry hearn eddie hearn thing is i don't want that but not only did barry her not let eddie hearn win barry hearn went 100 and would be bowling at a seven-year-old about 70 miles an hour in cricket yeah i don't don't want to do that. No, that I don't think's okay. I think that's too far. However, there's got to be a bit of middle ground, isn't there? I'm just trying to think what my...

I don't know, did I compete against my parents much? Like, we played beach cricket and stuff. Looking back, I think my dad probably was eating off. Well, do you know what used to really annoy me, really frustrate me, is... Which I think is quite psychotic, actually, looking back on it, but my dad would play pole against me, and I think my dad's very competitive and would want to win and then to try and get in my head if i was beating him and it was like he was going because this was

we when i was like 12 or 13 so you might be quite good at paul yeah yeah i was good at paul that was my sport he'd go as i had got like three in a row go oh do you want me to play properly now then oh and i'm like that's a weird thing to say yeah yeah yeah isn't it because i'm like if he isn't playing properly and i'm doing really well he might go do you know what he's getting better now in his own head i'll start trying to get him in to make this a bit more competitive but you don't need to try and like play mind games like wenger and ferguson like oh should i play properly now? He's like, what the fuck's that? I'm 12, mate. You're 52. I've just realised that's mental, isn't it? It's such a weird area, isn't it?

Yeah. So do write in, when have you fucked it up? Is it what ideally we're looking for? Or if anyone's like an academic on this shit, if there is a... Just let us know what the right, some sort of psychologist. Yeah, Philippa Perry level of person. Yeah, what should you do with your kids yeah because i don't want to i'm not schooling my child to be a cutthroat i don't want to do that barry hearn thing no no i'm not trying to train my daughter to be a footballer but i'm just like trying to understand a level of competitiveness and what i think if they come out

of it and enjoyed it and they've enjoyed the process that's the main thing because yeah whether you do get to a level where you're really good at something if you don't enjoy the process it's pointless yeah totally the end goal the win or the loss isn't the thing it's the process but however i would say she's much more comfortable in me winning at football than she's uno because she went fucking mental the crying of just like instant tears over uno is insane but we're learning as a family how to do it basically that's why snakes and ladders is so dodgy rob we played snakes and ladders yeah and i'll play this one which is basically like kind of it's a different version of jenga that's quite easy to

throw it's very easy to fuck that up yeah snakes and ladders it's all in the fucking dice and it's brutal that snake who's on like 98 out of 100 yeah you're like oh my god i can't do anything about you snakey bastard and you can't lie about then you can't you know you're not teaching them to add up properly then yeah i'm just like scooting my guy onto the top of a snake and going oh no here we go back down again oh bloody nightmare down here again and then i'm like then I see the joy in their eyes and I'm like, you fucking loser. Fucking wake up. You know what's going on here.

You're nearly in year three. There's nothing to fuck about now. Let's play. Do you want me to start trying now? Yeah, I don't want to start playing roll the dice and get lucky properly. Can you throw, you throw no is it one of those games where you've got enough say so in it yeah you can so what i don't i don't throw it completely but i'll try and extend it slightly yeah but no it's a bit more what's good about it is it is quite lucky and it can go on and on so but yeah any

other games people can recommend to play and stuff like that will take on board but uh but yeah he's the things you want your kids to have been nice and polite, but also have a little bit of personality. But you don't want your kids to be these insane, must-win, competitive. I'm competitive, Rob. And it's awful. It's a fucking awful character trait. Yeah, because you're scared of losing, because it means you're a failure.

But I think the message is... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, not you. One is. I'm're a failure but the what i think the message is whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa no not you one is i'm not a failure mate no no okay i'm absolutely not no tell me why i'm not scared of losing i'm not scared of losing tell me why you're not a failure i'm not a failure yeah why not why aren't you seeing this watch not allowed to take it off outside the house according to the man admiral well i'm not afraid of losing well i used to be super competitive i think as competitive as you if not more i used to google every comedian that was five years ahead of me and i would make sure that i was at the same stage or ahead of them in my career as their oh my word yeah so i'm trying to introduce losing yeah and it isn't the end of the world yeah kind of thing yeah rather than yeah you've won you've won sets you free well

yeah exactly and also what really is a win and a loss here we go and it goes back to being a bit spiritual we don't know what's good news or bad news because we don't know enough about the future for example judge i broke my ankle playing football and i missed out on there was that league of their own road trip i think i spoke about this before i've been booked to do the whole series on that which would be my biggest sort of exposure it would be my biggest payday before that i wasn't getting regular money i was doing the odd show here and there and when you're a regular on it you get a bit more money but it's also six episodes rather than one and that was my whole six weeks booked out and it was the most money i was ever gonna earn in like six weeks broke my ankle missed out on all of it then you did some some

other people did some and i weren't on it alan did some tom davis did some alan car did tom davis did some and all that where i was going to be on every one i was devastated i couldn't walk i was sat in my house lost a load of money couldn't even go out and do other jobs blah blah blah blah blah and this was at a point where i wasn't fully established i hadn't really toured that much i hadn't done this podcast i haven't done all these other things and i was sitting there i'm fucked here this is all my money and i thought i was working for six weeks but then because i was available more we did more robin romesh which then went on to be probably the biggest thing on telly i've done and yeah but however that may not have happened and if i broke my ankle and all stuff like that exactly it. It's sort of that where you think, oh my God, I've lost this, I've won that.

But it's actually, if you enjoy the process of it all and just enjoy each day of it and enjoy the playing of Uno, playing of the football, the actual end result doesn't really matter because you don't know what that's going to push you on to achieve. Totally agree, Rob. Also, being able to fail is incredibly important. Yeah. Experiencing failure failure it's inevitable and whatever that means whatever that means yeah i know that's like a loaded word but like things

going wrong you know it's a great experience for you and it can be more helpful than just winning well and i was trying to do that with the girls when i was leaving the holiday they loved it so much i was so sad of i don't want to go home i feel sad and me and lou were instinctively like going well don't worry next week we're gonna have a barbecue yeah we're gonna get the dogs back you can see georgie and freddie and i was like no actually allow them to be sad yeah it's okay to be sad because you've had a good time they're quiet when they're sad they're quiet and you can try well no but it's like for adults as well embrace that you feel sad because you can't avoid or distract from emotions you need to feel them and then understand they come and they go and nothing's

permanent but trying to be in a constant fix of this is fun but don't worry about that next week it's sort of it's manic yeah and it's sort of what we fell into i was like no actually let's just shut up lou and allow him to be a bit sad it's okay to feel a bit sad yeah shut up lou that's the quote that's the title of the episode shut up lou i've got some other stuff from the holiday to go through quite funny um that i watched football in a shame bar what's a shame bar well it was an all-inclusive hotel and there's basically a discotheque because it's a family resort basically it was a discotheque there's a tiny little room with two screens in it was basically open from 11 p.m to 1 a.m and it's downstairs in the basement

next to like the shop of the hotel because it's for the alcoholics to go until the early hours and not keep everyone awake getting drunk on the balconies what's the word that the aloholic and um that's where i watched the football because the premier league was on i just sat down there with a load of lads Watching the football And the girl's like Are you going back to the basement? I was like yeah

It was like 30 degrees heat It was down there What was the game? Please tell me it mattered To be fair they were good games It was Tottenham Manchester United Oh so it wasn't even your team

I watched three I watched Chelsea Man United Three I watched Man United Tottenham I watched Chelsea West Ham

And I watched Arsenal Chelsea West Ham And I watched the United, Tottenham. I watched Chelsea, West Ham. And I watched Arsenal. Chelsea, West Ham! And I watched the women's World Cup final. Four games! What a holiday. Fucking love it. In the dark! In the dark, yeah!

Four matches in the dark! Two weeks into the season, so they don't even matter yet. Oh, it does matter, Josh. It doesn't matter. I love football so much. I just love it. It's my little distraction. It's the way Lou keeps watching the Vanderpump.

Your distraction? It took up all your holiday. Well, that was the other thing on the holiday. The kids club. The girls absolutely love the kids club. Our rule is, if they like it, they like it. If they don't, they don't. We do whatever they want to do.

They went in the first day, and there was these two English lads called Alfie and Sol, and they were like kids entertainers types. And they went in there. And normally, when they go abroad, the Spanish or Greek kids club people are a bit more measured and calm. And they do colouring in. And everything's like, let's go on an environmental walk. And it's all like.

Yeah, my daughter loves it. My kids hate it. Right. And these lads were like, one of the games was like, smack you on the head, get a sweet. Which was like, they had one of them pool noodles where they were just like hitting them on the head and our kids loved that face painting and playing a game where if you got it wrong they poured water over your head they loved all that but so they didn't want to go in if it was the hotel ladies that were a bit calmer but they wanted to go in these lads and they're coming out going yeah we love it we love

alfie and soul we don't like the hotel people i was like don't shout that that's rude tell us and then they were like can we come back tomorrow yeah and then alfie and so went oh we're not in tomorrow that's our day off and they went we're not coming back we're going so then they went in they didn't do all of it in but they went can we go back morning and afternoon they went in morning and afternoon for five days in a row oh my god so it's only like two hour shifts so we were with them yeah for you you know you were making them cry over breakfast lunch and dinner playing Uno

and then they'd be back in with Alfie and Sol who were letting them win I imagine planting all the seeds winding them up and enjoying the holiday I'll ask them next time

if they let them win or not but they absolutely loved it but it was the first time Josh and I bring hope to this episode it was the first time

ever on holiday I was bored yeah of course you were fucking bored rob there was nothing to do you were watching fucking lincoln versus exeter or whatever you were doing in the dark no but during the day i went out for a walk in the morning by the way i was walking along josh and i don't know what came over me i was doing my walk in the morning topless. You fucking wanker. You absolute plonker. I was walking topless along the seafront.

You're awful. On your own? Well, yeah. What do you mean? We might get some mates together. I didn't know if it was a family walk or your walk. No, so what I do is in the morning, get up, have breakfast, drop the kids off at kids' club and I go for my long five, six K walk along the seafront.

I put cream on, did it topless. How do you feel about that? I don't know how I feel about that. I'm close to leaving the Zoom. But it was so hot, Josh. I didn't have enough T-shirts. I was sweating through them. What do you think?

Oh, dear. I started off with a vest. Well, you weren't jogging, so I'll give you that. No, I couldn't jog. I started with a vest, and I thought, you know what, I'm a bit warm. I'm going to pop this off. But that's not me, Josh.

No, well, it is, because you did it. Yeah, but then do you know what made me put my top on straight away? You realised who you were? No, someone came up to me and went, can I have a photo? Oh. That one's hopeless, though. Did you say, yes, but I'm going to have to put my photo on?

Well, no, but I didn't want to. I was like, yeah, one second. They sort of started lining up the selfie for I could put my top on. You like that? So I sort of like held it in. I was just sort of like trying to sink my tits out of shot. Oh, God. Oh, God.

That's horrible. And then I was laying on the sunbed and someone came up and went, can I have a photo? I was like sort of like trying to sink my tits out of shot. Oh God, oh God. That was horrible. And then I was laying on the sunbed and someone come up and went, can I have a photo? I was like, oh, okay, all right. And I got up and I was like, had headphones on, laying on the sunbed in my trunks.

And then I was like, okay. And I thought it was going to be the woman like with me doing a headshot selfie. No, she went with him, her two-year-old that was like by my knee. That's full length shot of me in my pants

headphones in listening to Leeds vs Sheffield Wednesday and then someone came up to me Josh

and went do you ever get people that recognise you but they sort of say something weird that you can't compute

right yeah yeah this guy can't it's laying on the sunbed headphones in eyes shut yeah because I don't know about you that on the sunbed headphones in eyes shut yeah because i don't know about you that screams let's do selfies yeah you know not walking around the

resort the rest of the day what are you listening to um podcasts um i just listened back to these it's only good podcast isn't it yeah of course yeah give michael some notes i'd say a british scandal with matt ford and alice levine really really good oh yeah yeah anyway he went tap me on the shoulder i'm sort of like off i open yeah yeah anyway he went tap me on the shoulder i'm sort of like off i open my eyes and he went and i did the classic one earphone out to go this is a short chat yeah yeah you know i mean are you going uh star wars what i went pardon he went star wars sorry he didn't budge star wars i was like i'm sorry i don't know he went star wars i went sorry man i don't know what's happening he went star wars oh yeah i i he went i'm sorry i don't know he went star wars i went sorry man i don't know what's

happening even star wars oh yeah i i even start i went i don't know what's going on here mate i went sorry man i don't know what you're saying what's your took but star wars like annoyed with me i was like mate you can't just keep saying star wars don't know what it is he went star wars the magic vegas or romesh and i remembered in the episode i did romesh about magic i did a trick where the answer was Star Wars. Fucking hell, that's a deep dive, isn't it? You did that about a year ago. I know it's been on recently.

So a year ago, I once did a trick for 15 minutes saying, that's what you forget, isn't it? It goes to the telly and it becomes a bigger thing. And he was going, I went, oh, yeah, call Star Wars. Yeah, like that. He went, oh, yeah, yeah. And then we had a photo. But I was like, honestly, he said Star Wars to me 10 times. And and i was just like i just don't know what that is i don't know what

that means and oh what this i can tell you this josh sorry josh i'm going through my notes and then we'll talk about your your morning um i tell me if you think this is weird we got chatting to a lady and her son at the hotel kids were playing with him in the pool nice boy he's a bit older than them so my girls are like he was about 10 or 11 so the girls are like oh my god and he was like shaking around on this inflatable and he was here with his mum he sounds a bit he's a weirdo obviously no he's a lovely boy a 10 year old boy that's playing with a seven and a five year old girl rob well what now you've said it like that with that international they were on his float and he would push it around and shake the float so he was quite enjoying sort

of being the older one yeah anyway he was sat with his mom and it was just him and his mom and then like yeah my youngest was like where's his dad really loud in the restaurant oh god i was like i don't know i mean but you know not everyone has a dad he may be away or working or he may not see i didn't say that he may not see his dad as much but not everyone has a mom and a dad with them all the time yeah she went oh and then she sort of like went up to him was like oh no oh no where's your dad i was like okay i didn't mean get more info oh no oh no i didn't give you the options for you to confirm and then the mom was like oh no she basically had a really bad sickness on the morning of the flight. Yeah. And he was just like, I cannot leave my house. So, but I didn't want to lose the money on the holiday.

Yeah. Yada, yada, yada. So she went off. Anyway. And then we're sitting around the pool and it's the boy and his mum and they're playing and stuff like that. And then all of a sudden we see a man come over to the mum. Here we go.

And start hugging and like getting off of her. What? I was like, I mean mean it was like drama gossip around the pool what's going on and then we realized it was the dad had surprised them because he felt better and got a flight and come out on the holiday oh so then the boy it was like one of them you know dad's coming back from the army videos right yeah oh my god that's that's like surprise surprise and then the boy was like he was in the pool He was like dad Dad And then you see him

Like swimming towards his dad And then my daughter pops up And goes See he has got a dad I'm like yeah Let's not shout about dad And then He gets out of the pool

And then they have this Big family hug and a kiss And I took photos of it Did you Because I thought At their request No That's weird

I took a punt Right Rob come on now I was like I think this is weird so i took photos of them for them yeah not for us yeah just for our instagram have you deleted them do you know i should delete them actually so i took the photos and then when she walked past i said oh that's a nice surprise you know and just to confirm that is your husband right bit of fun bit of fun bit of fun i didn't know if he's getting off with a waiter yeah yeah because

if it was a waiter then you'd be in double bucks because you'd have those photos exactly you'd be able to go oh it's not your husband could have sued her yeah could have blackmailed her yeah um can sue her for that and uh i said i hope you don't find it weird it just was a really sweet moment of you all sort of having a little family hug so i took some photos if you give me a number i can send them to you. And she went, oh, thanks. That's really kind. And then I sent them over.

And then you see them come off my phone because they were opposite. And she was like pointing at them, going like that. And then the husband gave me a little thumbs up. But you're right, I should delete them. But I didn't know if that was weird or a nice thing to do. I think it's nice. I did a weird thing, Rob. Is this weird?

Go on. With a member of the public. I was out with my son on Thursday. Yeah. We were at the cafe in Victoria Park. Of course you were. Yeah. Yeah. Spreading your wings, were you?

And he was having a bun. I could see the stage where the Strokes were going to play that I wasn't going to go to. And there was two guys behind me. They looked like normal East End wankers, yeah? Like me, yeah. Yeah, like sort of the trendy ones, sort of brightly coloured socks, ankles out. Yeah. Those little weird sort of expensive converse.

Turned out they were historians. They were what? They were historians because I was listening to their conversation. Oh, right. Yeah, go on. And one of them said, of course, Dominic Sandbrook was my lecturer at Sheffield. Now, if you don't know, Dominic Sandbrook is... Of course I don't know.

Who the fuck's Sandbrook? He's one of the two historians on The Rest is History, which I listen to. Right. Okay, sure. Isn't everything history? Well, The Rest is History. It's just the title.

And so I was then in the park 20 minutes later, and I thought I'd have loved to have talked to that guy about Dominic Sandbrook. Yeah. And then the guy turns up at the same slide. With his kids? With his kids. Yeah. And I go, I didn't really realise guy turns up at the same slide with his kids with his kids yeah and i go um i didn't really realize this was weird at the time but then afterwards i told my friend i'd

done this and he was like that is a weird thing to do yeah go on i said i couldn't help but hear your conversation in the cafe that you were you went to the university of sheffield and your lecturer was dominic sandbrook oh yeah and he said yeah yeah and i said what was he like i don't find it weird but i think you should be embarrassed that you're admitting this out loud i think it's yeah if he'd said that he'd once went out for dinner with barack obama i think going but i'd say the shame and embarrassment level for a sandbrook no offense to the dominic i don't think it's worth the social embarrassment but i'm not a sandbrook devotee like you no and i'm not a san brooke devotee in that i i'm undecided on him because i don't know

what if i agree with his politics so i said to this guy so what was he like as a lecturer and he told me and then i said what do you think his politics are because he i can't work out how right wing he is and this guy was like oh oh there and then he went so did you go to the university of sheffield to me yeah and i was like no no no i just listened to his podcast and he looked at me with absolute sadness in his eyes really that you're listening to his old lecturer that i'm such a saddo that i'm listening to a podcast and then accosting people in the street to say i recently heard them talking in a different location about their lecturer from uni yeah i feel like if in the cafe if you went oh don't make sandbrook yeah if you'd gone oh that's weird i'm not you could even like i'm

listening to his podcast at the moment yeah but to go like what's he like and what's his politics that is quite an intense because he doesn't really know him he just got taught by him at uni yeah it was quite a weird moment so what did he say about his politics he said he he thinks that he's not as right-wing as he comes across right okay it wasn't even that interesting was you happy you asked no because then the conversation petered out and then we were still on the same slide for the next 10 minutes oh dear oh josh yeah but you know you just wanted to know didn't you yeah i'm just quite a weird bloke sometimes tell me some more about some holiday stuff can i uh tell you about my daughter uh dealing with a naughty kid yeah so there's a naughty kid on holiday that was spraying

the lifeguards with a water pistol which is not on oh come on mate they're trying to do their job and the parents like giggling along in the end i just went to the lifeguard stand behind my sunbed because he won't squirt me and if he does i'll rip his fucking head off here we go here we go here we go and he was like he went gracias i won't stay there brother i got this so he just sort of stood behind me and because he was walking around the pool trying to get away from me because he can't't just go, oh, this is this little fucking kid. Fuck off. Which is why I would have got sacked from that kind of job. So, because it's like, they can't.

But I'm like, parents don't tell the kid off. Anyway. You'd have loved that job. Because you're actually encouraged to wear shorts. Oh, I would have loved that. It would be the perfect job lifeguard. T-shirt and shorts. Fucking get it.

Barefoot and shorts. That's my kind of life. I feel I want to be that bloke who wears shorts all year. that's my thing oh do you think you're that guy because you know you get them at the front there's one of those guys that works at my daughter's school he's just shorts all year yeah because you know my calves never get cold my calves never get cold you see michael don't get cold calves is that michael i can hear scribbling down the episode title my calves have never been cold fuck off they never get cold calves. Is that Michael Iconis scribbling down the episode title? My calves have never been cold. Fuck off. They never get cold.

They never even get that. What about your knobbly knees? I'm not saying your knees are any more knobbly than other people's knees. What I mean is they're an outpost, aren't they, a knobbly knee? Yeah, but I'm wearing three quarter lengths in winter. No. No, I'm not. I'm not.

Thank God for that. Three quarter length trousers. You might as well say i like fucking kids do you know what sue me it's just what i like anyway this naughty kid right when their girls are playing that game with that other boy he kept on like ruining the game by jumping on the inflatable where anyway he was being quite naughty and then he was pushing the inflatable over like my kids heads and stuff so first we jumped on the thing it's like pushing my daughter and she stayed still was going she went no don't push me oh the apple doesn't fall far from the tree then he kept pushing her she went no and then she gave him a push back yeah

which i thought was fine where are his parents because i'm one of them don't it first if you get it tell a teacher or an adult if you can if not you're feeling danger, give him one back. My mate, whose dad is, I would say, intimidating. Yeah. When he was at school, his dad instructed him to go in and, you've just got to go in

and punch the bully. There's a lot to be said about that. We were told, don't hit them first, but if they hit you, hit them back and make sure you get the last one in.

And also a cheeky one on the floor to keep them down. I've never hit anyone. You've never hit anyone? You've never hit anyone? I've never hit anyone. Ever. Have you ever been hit?

I don't think so. I'm just... It's just not the world I move in. There was no one at your school to have a fight with, was there? I had a few fights at primary school. But by the time I got to about 14, 15, there was only ever fights at quite a young age. I never was a fighter when it got...

At my school, no one really fought unless you were fucking really hard. Because if one was really, really hard, you just sort of just take it. Just have that sandwich, not a problem. Just leave. It was like prison by the end. One kid turned up to chase another kid on the back of a dirt bike and chased him through the field swinging a fucking chain. What? What?

What? Yeah. Fucking hell, I'm mad maxed. Yeah. And then my dad got me into some fights as an adult. Let's not talk about that as an adult I was probably about 17

anyway I don't tell her to hit back but like if you feel in danger and they won't stop hitting you then defend yourself I'd say but if they hit you

go and tell someone don't hit back but our instructions were to hit back anyway she was in the pool and he kept on pushing like an inflatable

over her head and then she pushed it away once she pushed it away the second time And then just Pushed it really hard Not at him But away And just walked up to him

And went Not cool Oh yes I was like getting I was sat there Watching it from the lounge Because you've got to Let them sort it out themselves

You can't be that person That jumps in She went not cool Not cool You've got a David Attenborough Around you Yeah exactly I like that

It's quite a good thing to say. Not cool. Not cool. It's quite a good way to defuse the situation. And she took the cigarette out of his mouth and trod it into the floor as well, didn't she? And said, that is not cool either. Yeah, and then bogwashed him like Ian Bill and Phil Mitchell.

Oh, the other thing as well. So the people that keep messaging say that we said my daughter's name in one of the previous episodes. Oh, this is incredible. This is so good. This is so funny. It cracked me up. Thank you for that, obviously.

Yeah. You're doing a great job, but you've provided some hilarious conversation for us this week. Well, yeah, when I've actually said my daughter's name, it's really helpful because we like to snip that out because we want to give them some privacy as they grow up. But it was a time when I was talking about

my daughter doing something and I referred to her as Bridget Jones, but that was a joke because we were talking about the way she was doing something like a divorcee like sort of single adult woman so i referred to her as i want to confirm my daughter's name is not bridget jones beckett which i think no bjb she went to school oh BJ, here she comes. So, yeah, thank you. But, yeah, Bridget Jones was a joke. That isn't my daughter's name, just to confirm.

Yes, fair enough. But, yeah, so that was sort of the holiday update. That was a great holiday. Yeah, brilliant. I had a great time. And we've covered a lot of hot topics. Hot topics, yeah. Fighting.

Fighting. Competitiveness. Yes, game plan. Dominic Sandbrook. These are all big topics. If you wear three quarter-length trousers, you are a paedophile. Where the calves get cold. Do calves get cold?

Calves don't get cold. Because, do you know what? You never see footballers, they'll go gloves and they'll go long sleeves, but they'll always keep the legs out. Yeah, exactly. And Grealish has them down, doesn't he? Goalies sometimes wear tracksuit trousers. Very rarely these days, but trousers. Very rarely these days,

but yeah. Very rarely these days. I love a pair of shorts. I do wear those in sort of like leggings-y things when I play five-a-side. That's more to stop the burn

if you fall over, though. Oh, okay. Here you go. Here you go. Shall we end with my stressful morning, Rob? Yeah, let's do your stressful morning,

small business shout-out, and then... Oh, I've got something for next week. Go on. Do you know what? Because I'm away a lot in September.

Yeah. I'm going to hold back a picture I've got of for next week. Go on. Do you know what? Because I'm away a lot in September. Yeah. I'm going to hold back a picture I've got of Rose buying too many strawberries. Okay. Save the gold. Save the gold. Let's not burn that up. Remember, Michael, Rob, put a pin in that because I'll forget. Rose bought too many strawberries.

Okay. Loads of strawberries. That's what we've got to do. Yeah. Okay. So after my morning, I then wrote down everything I'd done that morning. Because I was like, I just need to, then I can read through it. Busy morning.

Yeah. Oh, Michael, while Josh is doing this, can you send the small business shout outs, please? So we can do that. I don't think I've got them here. Fucking hell, Rob. Pay attention to me, mate. Well, no, sorry. No, but I was just.

I'm joking. I didn't want to slow everyone up. Sorry, Josh. Go on. No, no. It's fucking fine. You read the small business, mate. No, no, no. I'm just. I didn't want to slow everyone up. Sorry, Josh. Go on. No, no. It's fucking fine. You read the small business, mate. No, no, no.

I'm just kidding. Sorry. Sorry, Josh. Do you want some ASMR? Should I bang my wedding ring with a hammer? I can't hear any of this. I can. It sounds great.

That's just me knocking my microphone. Why have you got a hammer? Well, the only way I can get off these days is just before I ejaculate, I hammer my balls. Got to do what you got to do, Josh. Yeah, fair enough. In your office. Quite a weird place, but fair enough. No, this was used to hammer in some nails and things to hang my football shirts up for soundproofing.

Yeah, of course. Still a fucking mess, this place. I've got to sort it out in September. Come on, Josh. Sorry, go on. You're stressed all morning. 7.30, get up. Oh, lying. Yeah, well September. Come on, Josh. Sorry, go on. You're stressed all morning. 7.30, get up. Oh, lying.

Yeah, well, we're on those times. Despite some people, some people thinking we should drop the nap, we get up at 7.30. Just saying, just saying. Might get more of an evening. Just some people. No, not naming names. Not naming names.

Some people. First thing I have to do, take the curtains out into the street. Why? We've got new curtains and we wanted to get rid of our velvet curtains and we were just going to leave them in the street for people to take. Right, okay. So I had to refold the curtains, take them out in the street. Did people take curtains?

They did, yeah. Did they? Yep. Four velvet curtains. Velvets? Out in the street. Are they pricey, velvet curtains? We've had them for seven or eight years. Yeah. don't know just velvet i don't know what velvet curtain sounds

like a sounds like a euphemism yeah yeah well she gave me a velvet curtain last night never had one before what a woman did that realized i needed to cancel my gym for the next day before 10 a.m because you had to give 24 hours notice but didn't go around to that sure had to unbox the things in the hall but i got sent a box of i Sure. Had to unbox the things in the hall, but I got sent a box of, I'm not going to say it, because they said, they just sent me four energy drinks,

this company. Yeah. Yeah. Someone got my email and address, I don't know. They sent me four energy drinks, and they said in the email, when you put this on your social media,

do hashtag it ad. I'm like, Fuck off. Fuck off. Straight on the wall. Straight on the wall. Straight on the wall. Tell you that now. Eight quids worth of drink for an advert.

Yeah. Let's promote the rival brand to teach them a lesson. Okay. So a thumbs up to the guys at Slimfast. Let's put it that way. Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

Make breakfast for the kids. Yep. Yep. Rose had to go out and get her coffee. Yep. Why is Rose going out to get her coffee? What? Does she go out every morning for a coffee?

Yeah. Really? She doesn't just make one indoors? Yep. She likes the one from the shop just down the road. No. And then you're in with the kids. That's her thing.

That's her thing. That's her thing. Do you know what my thing is? Fucking off for the weekend. I've got to tell Lou that's my thing. This is my thing. Do you know what my thing is? Fucking off for the weekend. I've got to tell Lou that's my thing. This is my thing. Do you know what my thing is? Sleep until nine.

Well, that's also Rose's thing. Yeah. Oh, she's going to love that. He's on fire. He's on fire today. Right, then I taught her some new bamboo. What for? Little panda in the garden?

Yeah, no, we're growing tomatoes. Sure. And they got too tall and I bought some bamboo and it was six inches tall, Rob. Yeah. And it wasn't tall enough. No, no.

So then I had to order some bigger bamboo. Yeah. Yep. And then I went onto Amazon and then my password didn't work for some reason so I had to re-log into Amazon.

Then I had to make breakfast and we only had 40 grams of porridge left rather than 60. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble. So I had to make 40 grams of porridge for my kids rather than 60. Yeah.

And then it turned out that's the right amount of porridge. Perfect. So I've been making too much porridge for all this time. Sure. Unload the dishwasher. Yeah. Yeah. And I put the hose outside.

I had to go and do that. Yeah. Then I got to make myself, so this is about half eight by now. Josh, I feel like this is a, you're doing this, not for me, not for the listener for rose no i'm doing it i'm doing do you not feel appreciated i know i do feel appreciated then i got to have a cup of tea lovely well done yeah and then new wolf don't know what that means oh yeah and then my daughter got sent a stuffed, and my son also wanted the stuffed wolf like a toy.

Yeah. So my wife ordered a new one so they could have one each. Yeah. And then they argued over who got the new one and who got the old one. Lovely. Absolutely perfect. Yeah. A problem solved and a problem started there.

Yeah. And then when I went on Amazon earlier to do the bamboo, I realised that they'd never sent me a thing I'd ordered about a month before. And I looked and it was lost in transit and it said it's been lost you can apply to get your money back and i was like that's a win yeah but they hadn't told me i'd just forgotten i'd ordered it right that's sneaky then i had to go into amazon chat so i went back into the amazon chat at this point that's a good one actually check your lost in transits on amazon get Get a bit of money back. Yeah, yeah. What was it, by the way?

Double Indy Dildo? I know. It was just a toy thing for the kids. Some three-quarter-length trousers. Rob, then I went out. Rose was like, it'll be in the woodshed thing. The bike shed we've got outside. And I was like... At the front, yeah.

No, it's not in the bike shed. Have you got bags? No, it's from the people before. Yeah. Yeah. We use it for wood and we use it for nothing else really. Sure. And so I was like,

no, it won't be in there because I put a padlock on there because we've started keeping my daughter's bike in there. Right, okay. And Rose said, no, it still opens. And I went outside, Rob.

Yeah. And I had just done this. This is fucking mental. For the last two weeks, I'd gone out, put my daughter's bike in there, bought a new padlock from Amazon, and then padlocked it on and gone, well, that'll sort it. Have you seen the photo? I just attached it. Oh, you sent it? I've sent the photo to you.

I think I know what you've done already. You just padlocked it onto one side. You just padlocked it onto one side. I haven't padlocked anything attached. I just attached a padlock. That's that job done. Another job solved. Watch your trick. How thick am I?

I've just attached it to one bit. So when you bring the bar down, this is what it it looks like so that's the bar i'm going to attach it to right all right so it's better attached those two things i've just attached it i don't even think that padlock will fit that well no it did it did actually oh okay all right okay sorry i thought that when i came out i thought that when i came out yeah i couldn't believe that was there anyone in it anything in it uh no her bike. No, no, but was the parcel in there? No, no, no. So I had to carry on with my Amazon chat.

I had to get my daughter dressed. Then I had to sort out the parking for some people that were delivering some garden furniture. Oh, God, that is a horrible job. Yeah. We used to have that when we lived in Zone 3. We had to do parking permanently. It's a nightmare, isn't it? Yeah.

So I sort out their parking. Then I go upstairs to meditate, which I need. need oh i've got that wrong actually rob i go upstairs to meditate uh sit down and then rose shouts at me we need to sort out the parking for the people that are delivering the furniture lovely back now mid meditate and then i realized i is parking something like the parking a two-person job it's because i've got the login to the Hackney Council website. No, it's a one-person job and it's your job. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I forget I'm still in this middle of this chat with Amazon. So I go back into that chat with Amazon. Yeah. And then I look at my phone. It's 10.04. I haven't fucking cancelled the gym session. Yep.

You've missed that. Missed that. Paying for that now. Yeah, paying for that now. And then I go and drop my daughter to a play scheme and uh i get caught in traffic and that was my morning was it a nice morning it was just the summer holidays did you need to do all those little admin jobs before 10 though could you not have done yeah because i was working oh right then you had to go straight into all right

okay yeah are you looking forward to sept, the start of the school term? Yeah, although I don't see... When I was thinking about that, I was like, well, I don't see how that would be different if she was in school. But, yeah. Yeah, she would have dropped her off slightly earlier. But, I mean, what I'm going to say, though, is, Josh, like it or not, your youngest child's nap will end.

I just don't think it will. I just don't think it will. So you're going to lose two and a half hours. I just don't think it will. It will, ages think it will. So you're going to lose two and a half hours. I just don't think it will. It will. Age is two. He just loves napping. It will end.

And then what'll happen is you'll be trying to work and then Rose will be downstairs with a toddler for two and a half hours. Should we do the small business shout out? Let's do a bit of that. But I appreciate you, Josh. Don't worry about it. And all you do. I signed up to the RSPB, Rob.

I got absolutely done on the way into a farm the other day. Oh, no. just well no actually it's everything now what's the rspa rspca then that's more for like cruelty to animals isn't it what's pb then it's like nature reserves and stuff right okay hi rob and josh absolutely love your podcast and book as new parents ourselves we thought how come we make this even harder and decided to start a business in lockdown called bee and bonnet alongside having our daughter florence it's locally sourced honey infused with scotch bonnet chilies blimey o'reilly it's delicious on pizzas i bet it is grilled meats veggies cocktails basically everything we started in 2020 and are now stocked in restaurants pop-ups and delis around the uk you can buy it at www.b as in buzz and bonnet b-o-n-n-e-t.co.uk follow us on instagram b underscore and underscore bonnet uk would appreciate a shout out as we're huge fans and really love the podcast

thank you narelle and tom okay here we go hi rob and josh this one is for the mums and mums to be in brackets sorry dads brutal i work for maternally fit which is run by the wonderful helen we have a small team of physiotherapists who run exercise classes across london and surrey for pregnancy and beyond we aim to empower and educate women on exercising safely during and after pregnancy including how to do those all-important pelvic floor exercises we want women to keep fit and strong for labor and motherhood and meet our other fabulous women along the way our classes are individually tailored so are suitable for everyone including those who have never exercised you can find us on our website www.maternallyfit.co.uk

or contact us on instagram at maternallyfit underscore or email info at maternallyfit.co.uk or contact us on instagram at maternallyfit underscore or email info at maternallyfit.co.uk for a free trial class thank you love the podcast sophie so that's surrey and london for maternally fit josh i'll see you next time it's been a joy loved it see you next time look forward to it cheers bye bye hello. Bye. Hello, I'm Charles Brandreth. What's the very first thing you remember? That's the question I'll be asking my famous and fascinating guests in

Rosebud, my new podcast about first memories and first experiences. My first memory is handing my Auntie Muriel a piece of turd. Other guests include Dame Judy Dench, Alison Hammond and Rory Stewart. Download and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Psst, it's me, Alan. There's no place like London's Hackney Empire this September,

or so I'm told. With shows from three of the UK's top comedians join team captain of 8 out of 10 Catsters Countdown John Richardson recent I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here star Sean Walsh and me

Alan Carr we're all visiting Hackney Empire this September with our critically acclaimed tour shows ooh la-di-da tickets available

from hackneyempire.co.uk see you there my loves