Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S7 EP25: Keep It Negative

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with freddie can you say rob beckett what's rob beckett? What's Rob Beckett? Is that Rob Beckett?

No. And can you say Josh Whittacombe? I can't say that. Can you try? What? No, Josh. Josh Whittacombe. No, what?

Josh Whittacombe. No, Rob Beckett. Yeah, and Josh Whittacombe. Josh Widdicombe. Yeah, and Josh Widdicombe. Nope. They always shrugged with yours, didn't they, Josh? Yeah, fair enough. But I like his honesty. He didn't even bother.

I enjoyed the very loud cartoons in the background and the kid sighing. Ugh. Hi, Rob and Josh. Here's Freddie doing the intro or refusing to do Josh. Sorry. Freddie is 33 months and lives in Battersea. F, Rob and Josh. Here's Freddie doing the intro or refusing to do, Josh. Sorry. Freddie is 33 months and lives in Battersea. Faye from Guernsey. That implies that she lives in Guernsey and she sent him to Battersea and he's only 33 months. It implies he's left home, doesn't it? Yes, he's very independent. That was not, I like that one though. She

seemed, she seemed very calm for a child that wasn't listening to anything she said, really. Exactly, yeah. But that's our lives, Rob. Oh rob i'm not good do you know what you hide it well can i tell you about my morning before we get started yeah go then so we've been recording this show uh for sky that comes out uh in the new year yeah this is so we're doing this thursday for our for next tuesday's episode and so we've been filming monday t Tuesday, Wednesday doing the panel showing records. Two episodes on Wednesday. Yes, last night. It was good though. The show was great. The show was great. Thank God for that.

Because otherwise this would be so awkward. To keep people up to date it's a panel show about TV for Sky with me and you and Alison Hammond. We have loads of great guests. And also, I can't believe you've not mentioned it before because we sort of forgot to but if you want to come

and watch it being filmed oh yeah that's a good point in Shepherds Bush at Television Centre there is such you can get free tickets we should have done that before because then we would have got

loads of podcast fans in not people that are just walking past we've got four more episodes coming out yes to record in a week we're filming

on the 30th of october three days in a row so yeah just google oh is it awkward this call like it well no i like it the name of the show i love it because you're hosting it yeah i'm the host you're a team captain allison do you find that awkward i find it fucking brilliant well the show's called rob beckett smart tv okay i hate it well it's all do you it's just a bit awkward when you see it it puts a little extra level of pressure when people go oh hi are you here for rob beckett smart tv and i'm like but i'm i'm rob beckett i've never been so relieved i've never been so laid back in my life it makes total sense i'll tell you why it makes total sense because if i'm going through the sky

planner yeah and you see a show called smart TV, you go, I don't know what the hell that is. Right. If you see the name of the host, you go, I'm on board or not even going to bother. Exactly. If they don't like you,

it's not for them. Um, Oh, did I tell you what happened when I arrived? Cause I, the people have been taking the Mickey out of what I wear to do TV shows. I've got a photo here. Okay.

You can put it on Instagram. So basically when we're on, I'm on the show, I'm but when i'm not i just wear shorts birkenstocks little backless sliders and a t-shirt and i do look scruffy but i'm cozy i'm comfy josh and yeah because i don't look like a man that's about to host a tv show no so when i arrived at the studio on the second day i'll go out the car and the security lady went, what are you here for? I went, I'm here for a show. She went, audience is around the other side. I said, oh, I'm not in the audience.

I'm on it. And she went, what show is it? And I went, Smart TV. She went, there's no show called that. I went, oh, okay. It's Rob Beckett's Smart TV. And then she went. She said, who are you? And said i'm rebecca and then she went it's your

smart tv i was like yes yeah so you're rebecca yeah she went no you're not i went what she went no you're not i went i just said i am and she went but you're not i went went, I just said, I am. And she went, but you're not. I went, I am. And I don't know what else to say now. Because apart from I am, I don't know. In the end, she said, no, I have to ring someone. So I ended up, I Googled myself. But all the photos of me are me without glasses and a beard. So then she went, that's not you.

And I was like, you got a point, actually. Where's your ice cream? But anyway, getting on with the show. I got in last night at half, no, 20 past 12. Yep. Had an English muffin and went to bed. Didn't even really want it, but I just wanted to feel something. I do that.

When I get in, like, I've been eating really good all day. Then I'll just sit there and I literally eat two massive rounds of peanut butter and toast. Yeah. And it's sort of nice, but then I get in bed and I feel like an absolute piglet. Yeah, I'm like, why have I done that? I wasn't even hungry. It just felt, it was pure comfort. Yeah, I'm like, I kind of convinced myself,

oh, you can't go to bed hungry. Now you've thought about food, you're going to have to have it. Yeah, but you wouldn't be hungry if we'd gone to bed earlier like normal. It's just because we work late. No, of course. It's half 12 in the evening. I had a Kit Kat at half 10, which is pretty out out of character if i'm honest with you um what was on your muffin uh just butter and marmite so then i went to bed and then my son woke up what's that

kind of i'll say in the background is a chainsaw cutting down a tree oh my gosh is that a problematic no i just wondered what it was i thought it was a tube i thought well but i thought it was like london i thought i could hear london it was Atmos, but it's a chainsaw. How big's a tree? It can't take that long. Anyway, so my son woke up at half two. Oh, no. Then I got up, but he, you know,

he resettled just before I got in the room and Rose called me back. That kind of, don't go in, don't go in, he's resettling. Came back, hour later, he wakes up again. This time he needs me to go in. There's this kind of agreement that I don't totally get on board with. He sat like, came back, hour later he wakes up again. This time he needs me to go in. There's this kind of agreement that I don't totally get on board with. That he likes Rose so much that I really need to go in at night because Rose going in would pep him up too much.

Okay, right. So I can see the logic both sides, but I can definitely see why you might be annoyed by that. It's not ideal for me. Right, so the argument is that he's a bit of a mummy's boy and prefers rose to you which is fair enough they go through stages yeah so if rose goes in he'll get too excited and be buzzing up for it yeah that he won't go back to sleep however if you go in he'll be like oh there's someone i sort of vaguely recognize well

i'll be that's a bit harsh no no his dad his his dad, his dad, obviously his dad. Love dad. Here he comes. But I would argue, and I think it's a fair point, tell me if I'm wrong, that potentially if he has got a favourite, your son, if the favourite parent goes in, whoever it may be at that time, goes in, then that would soothe him a bit more because he's more comfortable that the one he prefers is there. Well, the other interesting thing is...

And is it a prefer or is it a dislike? No, well, actually, I think this decision was made and then the popularity has swung back okay yeah so you're the more popular one now well no i'd say i'd say it's even it's like brexit it's tough to call it's tough i wouldn't want to call it at this stage in the game i'd say this if he goes down her he asked for rose but the morning, he shouts my name. So, you make the decision. Going back to sleep. This is 2.30 in the morning.

Yeah, my daughter comes in at 7. Get up with her. I am absolutely effed. Do you do school run? No, Rose has done school run. Yeah, I didn't do school. I got in about half 12 as well. Because, you know, I live so far away now.

It takes ages to get back. Got back the same time as you, even though you still live in London. And anyway, that's a side point. I should say I stayed for six drinks. Didn't you? No, I didn't. You're an absolute legend. No, I went straight away.

Watch the insane opening titles of This Morning with the Holly Willoughby tribute. Oh, God, it's mad, isn't it? If you've not seen it, because Holly left, but obviously she wasn't on the show to do a goodbye. And they did a really weird goodbye Holly, but just put loads of pictures of her face on the side of buildings. Where it said, thanks for 14 years. And then one, it wasn't even her face.

It was just a row of houses. And in capitals, like Clippart, just said, family first. Which looked like some sort of, you know, Fathers for Justice protest, where they hung letters on a building of like some sort of you know fathers for justice protest where they hung letters on a building of like the sort of the politician in charge of parent rights um so yeah i so i i got in about half 12 and then i just can't i'm so jazzed up i just can't go to sleep when i've done i think i sleep about half two three oh my word oh well i can't complain now and then uh no then i got up with the kids about um i could hear lou

shouting at them about 6 45 a.m and then i sort of got up at seven but then i got up as like the conquering hero because it's horrible for lou i felt so sorry because they're like daddy yes daddy's home daddy's it and poor lou's been you know because've been, it's been such long days at work. I've not been, I've not seen him really like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday at all. So she's had them on her own nonstop doing all sorts and loads of busy stuff. And then they're like, daddy, we love you, daddy. And then it was like, come on, we need to get in the car.

We need to get in the car like that. And then when I was in the car, Lou sort of lost it with him like that. And then my daughter was in the back seat and I saw her like lean, lean over so I could see her through the, because I was looking at the car reversing and she leant over so I could see it in the middle. Lou's behind the wheel and she leant over my seven year old and put the finger to her ear and turned it like she look all, you know, like crazy. Just behind her like that. And I pissed myself laughing.

And Lou went, what is she doing? What is she doing? And then she turned around and she was doing it like that. You can walk like that. I was like, was like okay bye everyone have a lovely school run i didn't feel bad so but um yeah i'm putting a shift in the rest of the week but you know that's that's how it works sometimes it was quite edgy this morning and and eventually rose i i you know we were both doing the morning the time was tight Somehow it got away from us. I knew I was doing this at 9am.

You know when you work, go straight to sleep, get up, and then you're doing that? It's just insane. Yeah. And then got them out of the house, and it was 8.51, and I thought, I can't wait for this nine minutes. This nine minutes.

It's nine minutes before I have to do some more content, or you could just... It's going to be incredible. I turned on the TV and I looked at my phone. You know what? nine minutes it's nine minutes before I have to do some more content or you could just what did you do on your nine it's incredibly incredible I turned on the TV and I looked at my phone you know

you know when you turn on the TV and then you just look at your phone I've got like a limit of how much Instagram I can look at in a day and because

what is your limit like an hour or something like that right but then all that happens is it goes oh you've reached your limit and then you just click

ignore yeah so basically what I've done is I've made myself go on my phone longer because I have to press another button yeah and also made yourself more aware of quite what a waste of life

yeah yeah it's awful as well because obviously i was i couldn't sleep so i was on my phone which is the worst thing you can do obviously and then um this morning i've reached my limit already because i went over my limit between the hours of 12 a.m and 2 a.m oh no so i've crunched through my limit but um yeah yeah i don't feel too bad this one but i am i am gonna crash i've got a fairly busy day as well we've got parents evening tonight i've got to go and pick up my daughter's new glasses um from the shops um and i've got so much admin to do because like you can't when you like when i used to work in an office job you could do a bit of email admin. Yeah, a little bit.

You're on a Zoom. You know, because I've worked in an office job. It ain't work from eight till five. You've got to, there's a bit of... Too right, mate. You could even slip in a little, you know, an energy provider phone call at certain points of the day, can't you, right?

And, like, that's what I used to like about office jobs because when I worked in Sainsbury's, you can't, like, just get your phone out and start doing it because you've got to put yoghurts out, mate. Do you know what I mean? But when you're doing a panel show, you are, you can't like just get your phone out start doing it because you've got to put yogurts out mate do you know what I mean but when you're doing a panel show you are you can't check your email you can't just set all the admin builds oh mate this is why the last leg is such a gift to me two zoom meetings Wednesday Thursday yeah honestly during last leg series I don't have an unread email I don't have an unpaid bill it's incredible scenes but do you mind the people

from last leg might be listening to this, they know what you're doing. I give good stuff in the meeting. So you're saying you can still do admin and operate at a functional level in your job? I think anyone who's in a Zoom meeting who isn't intermittently checking and sorting out their emails

needs to have a word with themselves. They need to be more efficient? Yeah. I told you about the argument I had when I worked at ASOS, didn't I? No, I didn't know you'd worked at ASOS. their emails needs to have a world with themselves they need to be more efficient yeah um i i told you about the argument i had when i worked at asos didn't i no i didn't know you'd work to asos i worked at asos for like temp contracts and my job talk about i i'm sorry i can't remember i must have i feel i've told you this anyway quick version of it my job was there was people editing photos of clothes and then they'd send me the photos and i'd literally copy and paste them the link to them and

put them in the website little hole so that they could be uploaded to the website so that I'd have a product pair of trainers and I'd put front shot, back shot, side shot, side shot, top down shot, whatever,

boom, boom, boom, copy, paste, copy, paste. And I had to do something like 60 a day or something where I had to get 60

products up, get the photos, boom, boom, like that. Anyway, so I was there all day. I'd hammer through it early doors and then I'd just book gigs because i was a comic like starting comedy like that and then when we're getting told

off and i had a meeting i was like well you shouldn't be doing that it should take you all day i'm like hang on don't tell me off do what you want me to just drag it out just so you feel better why can't i bang it out and oh when i was a dora i had three hours work max a day. Dora the Explorer. Yeah, it's actually really tough to fill the time. The worst... It's actually sometimes easy just to do your work. It's actually easy to do your work. That's what in offices I'd spend so long trying to not

work. It would be like, oh my god. It's actually better just to do the actual work. So Josh, have you got any parenting stuff we can run through? Yeah, I've got the build up to my daughter's birthday. Yeah, lovely. She's getting a goldfish.

She's getting two goldfish, Rob. Spoiler alert, does she listen to this? No, she doesn't. So her birthday's two goldfish, right. What kind of tank you got? Well, we haven't got a tank. Don't you just go and buy it all at once? Oh yeah, so you're taking her to pick

I don't think you want a fish tank in your house we're currently recording on Thursday yeah the party's on Sunday yeah and the fish buying's on Saturday she's gonna want

better ones than goldfish well she can yeah I mean a fish is a it ain't mate it ain't a fish ain't a fish I'm telling you a fish ain't a fish well she's not gonna have a cod

is she no but she she'll go in there and want like a Nemo one. But then you need a heated tank. Oh, for God's sake. That's got like filters on it and stuff. You can't just get a, it's not like old school where you just get a vase and chuck a goldfish in and it plows on. So you think we're going to go to, where do you go to buy a fish?

Pets at home or the local pet shop. I'm sure you've got some sort of wacky east london pet shop called like gloria's pet shop with nothing in it she just owns the freehold and can't be bothered to do something else because i wanted a fish tank but i worked out it's a lot of hassle because you have to clean it and how often do you clean it quite well it depends how dirty you want it oh god i can't be bothered fair enough though and what about the cats are they gonna try and eat the fish mate have you watched cartoons where's the tank going in our room what i don't know i always feel like a fish tank's going in the kitchen just because if that's where wet stuff goes no do you know what i mean i just feel like i just feel like oh what if they knock

it or spill it or they start playing with it when they've got friends over? But she's quite... No, yeah, well, she might do that. Yeah. Oh, God. So are you going to get a freestanding one or is it going to go... I haven't given it any thought. I haven't given it any thought. Has she got a desk or a side or a cabinet?

I don't know. How big's a fish tank? She's got shelves. Well, the problem is they're heavy because they're full of water. That's the thing. It needs to be on something pretty solid. So a shelf I think is a risk unless you get a tiny little one but then if she wants a tiny little one it didn't need to be high enough up that cat's not going to murder the fish yeah

because they're rubbish at climbing aren't they cats oh yeah i know cats i'm not going up there that's four foot fuck that not me i think you think what you're going to do is steer her towards goldfish, because then you can have a bit of a smaller tank, and it's less engaged. Little castle, all that kind of stuff. Lovely. Yeah. I think that's all good.

But when I, because I like fish, and I like the sort of the tropical ones that are really cool. But yeah, it is a bit more heavy duty. But I'm interested to see what you end up with, Josh. Yeah, me too. Fish tank on Saturday. Party Sunday. We've got a bit more heavy duty. But I'm interested to see what you end up with, Josh. Yeah, me too. Fish tank on Saturday. Party Sunday. We've got a different party Saturday morning.

Right, okay. Where we're going to the cinema to watch The Greatest Showman. Oh, that'll be fun. Yeah. I've not seen it as well, so I'm quite looking forward to it. It's good. Some really good songs in it. So I've got that.

Then I've got fish tank. Then she's getting a haircut. And the next morning, all things go for her birthday. Zoo. London Zoo. London Zoo. We've got a fish tank then she's getting a haircut and the next morning all things go for her birthday zoo London Zoo London Zoo we've got to sort a cake oh man

you said I've done the cake don't so you've got to take a cake to a zoo got to take a cake to a zoo oh that that sounds hard work doesn't it oh god I'm so tired what are you doing today after this

I've got the afternoon off lovely I've got a afternoon off. Lovely. I've got a bit of work that I... Josh, Josh, the issue here for the listener is, you're this stressed and tired. We've had the same work in week. I know.

It's this morning that fucked me. Yeah, to be fair, you were doing the morning. I had a bit of a... Because also as well, Lou left the house at at like half seven so I've had an hour to myself to recharge you've come straight in you've only had nine minutes just I just feel a bit buzzy but anyway yeah I find it a hard do you know what it is I'm gonna crash when I actually stop so I'm still buzzing because I didn't sleep properly last night so this is what I'm like I basically maintain this level of energy for eight years before I had a mental breakdown. But what I'm going to try and do is have some enforced chill time at the weekend.

But that was funny with Natalie Cassidy. She said it because Natalie Cassidy, a friend of the show, was on the panel show. She found out that we'd done three days in a row. You'd had a really busy week. You know, in defence, you've had a much busier run up to it than me with Bradford and Benidorm. And she was like, Josh, you're doing three days in a row you'd had a really busy week you know you in defense you've had a much busier run up to it than me with Bradford and Benidorm um and she was like Josh you're doing three days in a row and she was like now I listen to the podcast I feel like your friend I'm worried you're working too much is everything okay she's always like checking in on you oh she's lovely isn't she oh god that's when you realize you complain too much so I'm in a good place looking forward to the weekend.

It is interesting with kids' birthdays. They're obviously so excited. Mm-hmm. But I find a slight pressure that you just don't want to fuck it up. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I don't think... I mean, we had this when it was my daughter's birthday, when it was COVID.

You know, it was one of the Christmases. Well, we invited all our nursery and loads of friends and family, and then only, like, six kids came came and we were like yeah oh god and then and we were really worried she didn't give a shit she was a bit like well where's so and so where's so and so and we were like oh yeah they can't come don't worry but and then we listed the people that were there and she had a brilliant time and we had a brilliant party and it was absolutely lovely but lou was freaking out and we were really worried but the kids don't care it's adults yeah they're not as aware of that kind of not at all think at all so yeah don't don't stress about it too much i think it's more

the parent because what you got so what happens is say you've got a party for your kids and loads of people can't come you sort of go oh my god i've got a party for my kids no one's coming oh my god like that but then you put that on your kid because they feed off it oh god so this is bad is it yeah exactly and the mad thing is when you get older you invite people to something and the main thing is well hopefully they won't come and hopefully loads of people won't come and it'll bring the numbers down but as a kid it's like they've all got to come but as you get older you slowly want less people to go or we'll invite them but hopefully they won't turn up weddings the take up for a wedding is heartbreaking what they all say yes yeah come on come on come on you know someone's gotta be busy don't cancel that yeah just send your saver dates out the week before oh just get the date wrong

and then go oh i'm so sorry i got the date wrong oh what just to certain people that's a good way that's a good way of doing there was a print oh talking of printing errors yeah i got a letter a parcel for tom allen this morning i've got is it gabby rosalind's book yeah i got a parcel addressed to rob rinder i think she's doing it on purpose or there's been a mix-up in or someone in that what's it called? It's the Excel spreadsheet on Skype. What's it called? Like a mail merger. What is it when you export the Excel into labels?

So you got one to Rob Rinder. Yeah. Because Tom Allen got one to Gok1. This is the greatest PR of all time. Gabby Roslin's book, Spread spread the joy she has spread it already um i've not read the book because it's just arrived and it's not actually for me it's for rob rinder he's probably gonna sue me now i've opened this parcel um so i wonder who's got mine this is great if you're listening and gabby roslin has sent you a copy of her book for pr purposes

with some popcorn in it and some stickers. Did you get that? Yeah. Then, yeah, good book. Spread the joy about sort of being happy. She's the happiest person I know. But if you're listening and you've got one of these, let us know who it's addressed to

because I feel like there's some poor person in a PR department that's having an absolute Excel sticker fucking nightmare. Oh, my God. So, because it had my address with Tom's name on the sticker. Oh, my God. So, because it had my address with Tom's name on the sticker. So, at some point, unless they've done an incredible piece of PR. But the fact you've got Rob Rinder.

Right, I'm going to voice note Gok Wan. Are you? Yeah. Okay, go on. Hello, Gok. It's Rob Beckett. I'm just recording the podcast I do with Josh Whittacombe. We've received Gabby Roslin's new book in the post. However, mine was addressed to rob rinder josh's was addressed to tom allen and in tom allen's book

has arrived with your name on it so it's for goc one but to his address we want to know have you received a book from gabby roslin and who was it addressed to thank you very much goc let's see what he says if she has she done one of the cleverest things that's ever happened or it's great pr isn't it but it's like it's just funny it just made me laugh she she do you know what she has spread the joy whether accident or not good on you gabby roslin good on gabby roslin for that well done yeah um how is your parenting been rob um yeah it's good it's quite um quite manic because I feel like they're doing so many clubs now, the kids, and they love it. But they come home furiously hungry and tired. And then we sort of just calm them down, get into bed, and they're out again.

But the way they do clubs, we've got outside of school clubs, which are sort of all year. But the school clubs sort of change. They move it around over the term. So by the time you get into it, it's's after and then you remember it again and it changes after christmas so it's quite it's quite hard to uh get my head around but um with the homework mate the hope we had to do this homework i want to send you what we did we had to um go into the garden and find nature to spell out all of the roman numerals it took ages josh so what have you got to do roman numerals in sticks write out roman numerals 1 to 20 in sticks oh my god it took my brother

about 25 minutes he was drowned and he went all up with her own work he came down his back was gone he was bent over. It's ages. I'm just going to go and see what my dog's barking at, Josh. Can I come back and let's see? Oh, God. He's kicking off.

You know, we've got two dogs now, yeah? Yeah. So the younger one just barks at the other one to play and the other one don't give a shit. So we had one little

calm, lovely dog and now this little one is just like, he reminds me, you know when you see like 19-year-olds starting uni? Yeah.

He's got that sort of energy and so he just barks for no reason. And whippets don't normally bark. I'm finding it quite annoying because I don't like barking. But you can't really tell a dog off for barking because that's what they do.

You can't tell a cat off for purring. No. I took my daughter to, she had a play date with a boy that she's agreed to marry. Oh, right. Okay, that's good. Have you had any of this romance kind of world yet? So my youngest had a really good friend at preschool nursery and they still sort of meet each other they properly they were like properly enamored with each other

but if it was just another girl you'd be like oh they're just like really really good friends but because it's a boy they're sort of it's loaded which is quite weird when they're young but she does sort of go quiet around him more so than her friends that are girls in a slightly different way that i don't feel like has been pushed on her or because i i don't like it when people go oh look at me so handsome or she's so beautiful all the boys are gonna go metal they get all out there don't make it weird but she does sort of go quiet and then when we say like oh you're gonna see your friends she sort of gets all a bit blushes slightly, which is something that's totally come from her, not from us.

But yeah, so with my youngest, there's this boy that she always still invites around for play dates or he's coming for a play date soon, I think, who's sorting it out. But yeah, so we've got that slightly and that's the only thing we've sort of had. I found notes from my eldest sort of mad things about I've got a crush on and stuff like that.

But it's sort of, who's your crush? Question mark mark and stuff like that so it's something that they obviously talk about yeah but what's how who's this dickhead anyway that she's brought back yeah well obviously i roughed him up pull him to the side i went look here mate if you fuck her about you fuck me about i know big tom davis it's the biggest person you know any josh yeah he is the biggest richard osmond but i don't think that's I tell you what I don't think Richard Osman could beat me up but I don't think I could beat him up I think I'd just be going at him like attacking an oak tree you just take it and stand there um how's it going then what's what's the what's the story so so we went around to the parents house we know the parents anyway

yeah um it was very nice but it is quite weird because they don't really play together it was like there was a deeper thing going on so what what do they do then just well they don't play together at school they've just got this thing where he has asked her to marry him and she said yes right so they sort of feel like they just sort of need to be near each other not talking or engaging where do do you think she picked that up from? It is like a marriage. Hey, here we bloody go. Good gear. From both ends. Lovely.

So, yeah, that was quite an interesting experience. Yeah. Yeah. So, they were just hanging out, but not playing. It's playing separately, almost. Well, I was playing football with my future son-in-law. Right. And she was doing art with her future mother-in-law.

Oh, lovely. Yeah. And when are they getting married? Do they have a got a date or anything no but there's a lot of it going around at the school another kid asked my daughter's best friend if he could marry her but she said no fair enough that happens that's life they've got to learn they've got to learn soon exactly he shouldn't have bought the ring he's regretting that um oh um oh sorry i i posted a nice note from because i told you about the note from my daughter the other week the one that she called me a liar so i posted a nice one yeah um interestingly the nice note got a lot less likes than the yeah movie right so it's a good bit of

market research going forward just sort of just keep it negative yeah exactly that's what the that's what people want positivity no one wants to know other people are happy i just thought maybe you know let's not just go down the negative and let's put a bit of positivity there but actually from a you know bottom line capitalist point of view josh we've got to keep it negative we can't bring up we've got to keep it negative we've got to keep it negative um although i did have a fun time in the nfl on sunday rob oh yes how was that it was good um but you forget people listen to our podcast um what happened at the nfl craig doyle from the itv nfl coverage yes had heard us saying that he would be the go-to standby for joel domit at the nta's

yeah because if you didn't listen to the episode he was hosting ntas when his wife was due to give birth so he said there was a stat there was a backup just in case, but we didn't know who that was. We guessed Craig Doyle, great presenter. And I think it's a compliment, actually. Such a safe pair of hands. You could throw him in anywhere and he would deliver. Exactly. Don't take it personally, Doyle.

I think we've been positive about you guys. You had good seats, though. Is that because you agreed to do some stuff? You were like, you looked like you was on the bench the bench i was i was literally front row behind the bench it was it was a famous people there there was delhi alley yeah footballer um the footballer daniel starage the footballer and um akin fan noir right yeah okay yeah you definitely don't hit the demographic for american football by the sound of things but it's sort of mainly it's all

it's all black footballers and Josh Winnicombe and Alex Iwobi I got a selfie with Dele Alli lovely here's a quiz yep

did he say A I'm a big fan of the podcast mm-hmm B yeah are you that guy

from what the week or C did he look like he'd never seen me before in his life I'm a big fan of the podcast. B, are you that guy from what the week? Or C, did he look like he'd never seen me before in his life? I would say C, never seen you before in his life. Correct. Correct answer. Well, he's not going to listen to the podcast. He's not got kids.

I don't think that if you're playing, you know, top level football for Tottenham and then later on, mid-level football for Everton, that you're going to be keeping up on the news. What does... A Galatasaray. You don't finish training and think, what does Josh Whittaker think of Eric Pickles? No, but get this, Rob.

Yeah? Get this. He's in a hotel at 10pm, nothing to do on a Friday night, pop on Channel 4, Dele, for the love of God. Yes, of course. It's a bit like past their bedtime if they've got a game the next day, 10pm. Oh, do on a Friday night. Pop on Channel 4, Dele, for the love of God. Yes, of course. But it's a bit like past their bedtime if they've got a game the next day, 10pm.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because sometimes when it's 10pm on a Friday, right, and I'm on the sofa with Lou and I flick over and I go, oh, let's see what Josh is up to, who's on with Josh, you know, have a little look on last leg. And I just look at you and think, I can't believe you've got to do some telly now, it's so late. I'm like laying in my pants going,

I've got nothing to give it. So he seemed friendly though, Doyle, did he? Yeah, he seemed lovely. He seemed very nice. Very nice. Yeah, it was good on him. But yeah, people are listening, Rob. And people are sending,

if you mention someone, Deli Ali's probably just been sent a clip of this now. Yeah, I don't think he'd listen to it though. Gok Wan's not come back to me. He's aired me. Might have to come back with another episode. Oh, next week. He lines up all his clothes for the whole week.

On a Sunday, he'll line out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. What about the blister? That's the way I listed the week, in case you didn't know. Yeah, yeah. That's what Einstein did, isn't it? He just had, like, five of the same suits, and he always wore that. Yeah. Like Harry Hill. Yeah.

But they said that because that way, you've only got so much space in your brain to make so many decisions in a day then after a while you just don't really care or you just you you read your head can't process all that information so if you're not making a decision on clothes and you've saved a decision but i'd argue do i don't really put steve jobs and mark zuckerberg as people that i aspire to be like i think it looks hard work their life yeah they they're not having a laugh. Like there's something nice about wearing clothes you like. You might as well go I'm going to eat the same meal every day. Got Kwans replied. Oh yeah. Good morning Rob. Good morning boys. Well the thing is you all got a signed copy at least addressed to someone even if it wasn't you i um i just got

a gabby roslin he didn't even get a name on his just his address oh someone's panicked when i don't even know whose address is i'm just sending it oh no oh just a heartbreak oh cabbie rosin's pr cabbie rosin's pr we we feel your pain we've all had that day at work but i'll tell you what it's the best pr they've had it's the best pr you could possibly have she's not even had to come on and talk about it because it is book flogging season josh every guest's got a fucking book on the go it's carnage um tom allen's just texted me oh yeah do you want to know what she thinks of tom allen by the way because i've got his personalized message he's got personalized message i haven't got a personalized message what right now you mean rob rinder's not got

a personalized message oh yes sorry rob rinder's not got a personalized message darling tom you're one of those delightful beings on the planet uh hope you enjoy the book big love and kisses gabby two kisses oh that's nice I've got darling Rob I love you but that could be Rinda yeah I presume it's Rinda Gabby Rodson

can I I don't think she's one of the nicest people I've ever met ever even not like just in general

not just at work but when I first got a job at Absolute Radio I used to go on a Radio London show and do a little funny bit and she said hey Fina when I'm a bit nervous about i'm doing that to range when you go for a coffee and she gave me such great advice and really looked after me she's so so lovely so

best of luck with the book gab hopefully um but she did think you were rob rinder yeah so go fuck yourself gabby rosling don't buy the book buy mine or ours neighbors twice a day rob beckett class act parent in hell the book not this no this. No, actually, bias as well. Right, Josh, we do small business. Yeah. Hi, Rob and Josh. This is a reverse small business shout-out request. I need a nut-free, dairy-free, egg-free and low-sugar cake or cupcakes to take to the nursery for my daughter's birthday.

Must be store-slash-bakery-bought with a card confirming ingredients. Any chance of putting a call... This is mental. What have we become? What the fuck is this nursery? Any chance of putting a call out to see if there are any small businesses in or delivering to Central London Catering for very specific nursery cake criteria.

Many thanks, Tessa. Tessa, how are we going to do this? Yeah, we haven't got your contact details. I've got enough on my plate, and I'm not even going to look at these emails, but Michael's got even more on his plate. He does not need hundreds of bakeries emailing him about your fucking kid's birthday.

All right, Tessa? Good luck with the hunt. I tell you what I could say is, though, that Coghlan's... Try this. Coghlan's Bakery do loads of vegan cakes, so you're nearly there, and it is a bakery,

so I'm sure they can put a label on it to say what's in it so the best we can do here tessa i follow them on instagram so you could find them in the people i follow on instagram coglan's bakery and i think they're more south london and east london southeast but um but i'm sure they could give it out tessa if not get just a tray bake from greg's Oak for the best. OK. I just hope Tessa hasn't opened up a string of us now, basically starting a kind of... No, we're not doing that anymore. We're turning into one of those boards you see outside a newsagent.

Yes, we can't do the reverse, Shat. Oh, that's too much, Tessa. Or just what I'd do is just throw a bag of revels in the nursery, like a grenade, see what happens. Hi, Rob and Josh. Writing on behalf of my sister, who I think could possibly be the most addicted person to your podcast ever, please can you give Herstrike Us a small business shout-out?

Dinky's Swim Club. Swimming lessons for babies and toddlers, which are actually affordable and still teach the same amazing technique of swimming and safety to go with it. At £9.50 a session. That is bargainous. Karen set up Dinkies back in 2018 and has worked so hard on growing the business

and constantly making things bigger, better for parents, sometimes at the cost of her own pocket. To find out where our lessons are and how to get more info for the franchise, please visit www.dinkies, D-I-N-K-I-E-S, swimschool.co.uk. Thank you. This will mean the world to her. There we go. Lovely stuff. Josh, I will see you Friday for another guest.

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