Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S7 EP34: Scarlett Moffatt

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant TV personality and presenter - Scarlett Moffatt. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with louise can you say rob beckett Can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Good. And can you say Josh Widdicombe? Yeah. Josh Widdicombe. Good job. There we go.

I like the yeah. That is Welsh. Let me guess. Swansea. No, not Swansea, actually. Cardiff. Do you want to guess any other Welsh places? Yeah, sure.

Llandudno. No. Carmarthen, Carmarthen. Aberdeen. Aberdeen? She's Scottish. Yeah. Hello, Rob and Josh. This is Eloise, who is 19 months, giving your name a bash.

The enthusiasm in my voice is perhaps a giveaway that Elle is our first child. Yet to make the mindset switch about being ready for another. We currently live in Edinburgh, but we're originally from from aberdeen love the podcast to go to sleep at night listening to you both keep it sexy and relatable lindsey lindsey so got that completely wrong scarlet moffat today rob i love scarlet what do you want to ask her about google box no and her child and her child a child bit about google box child and her child. And her child. A child. Bit about Gogglebox. Child. And her driving. She's failed her driving test about ten times or something.

Mental. How many passes? Well, we're doing how many passes. Normally one. Sorry, how many fails? How many fails did you do? I passed first time, but in an automatic. Yeah, I passed second time in a gear.

How's Rose getting on with hers? Good. She's going to go up to two lessons a week. Are they still doing the secret? Yeah. To the friend? As far as I know, yeah. Right, okay.

She's enjoying it now, I'd say. Oh, that's good. It's hard learning in Central London, though, to be fair. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Has she done provisional yet? Do you mean theory? Theory, sorry, yeah.

No, she keeps putting off saying stuff like, it's not a good time she's very busy at the moment she's got the app though i had a cd rom when i did it i had a fucking cd rom as well mate sat at my pc clicking through yeah looking for hazards and perceptions this is how old i am rob i did mine on paper do you know what I think is difficult is learning to drive or doing anything like that when you're older is like, you don't want to put yourself through an exam. It's very much like when you're 17, 18 or whatever, or 16,

you're used to being examined. But as you become older, it's horrible to go in for a test and pass or fail because you don't want to be the person that fails their theory. No, because I don't know if it's changed but in the year 2000 the theory was a piece of fucking piss mate has it gone up a level i don't know when i was young the theory was a fucking walk in the park no but only if you did the cd-rom yeah you cannot wing it oh you can't wing it no but if you've done the cd wrong you can't wing it at all so you actually have to go on the app or the cd rom and play it maybe my mates that were winging it they're clever people but you just can't it's impossible to win because you don't

know what you're supposed to be doing i think i was only just in the age of the theory test i was 17 when i passed before that they just asked you a few questions when you got out of the car 1996 so I was four years in four years into it they just ask you a few questions it's a lose-lose though

the theory isn't it because it's like if you go oh I've just got my driving theory test coming up you're like alright whatever

as if like I'm going to go to the shops after school drop whatever and then if you go oh I just passed my theory

whatever yeah give a fuck what is that again alright oh i just passed my theory whatever yeah give a fuck okay what is that again oh whatever yeah i failed my theory you what you moron so brutal maybe it's more difficult now maybe it's more difficult maybe it is more difficult now let me just say something that my sister did yeah with a test and i'm worried i've told this story before you know you always want she passed her practical yeah and then two years later got a letter from the dvla because she hadn't sent away her driving license to get updated oh she'd passed the time threshold and she had to redo the whole thing

again well that's the thing people do theory and it takes some ages to pass do you have to redo it she passed the practical oh she practiced oh no she passed the whole thing was driving around for two years got two years to upgrade your driving license didn't do it she had to go back to stage one that's insane jamie lang kept on failing this theory did he yeah it was quite a funny joke on his instagram because he couldn't do it. Jamie Lang celebrates after finally passing his driving theory test after, guess the attempts. Six.

More. Seven. More. Ten. More. No, this is a joke. Go up in tens. More.

No, no, no, I don't believe it. Keep going. 30. More. What? 50. More don't believe it. Keep going. 30. More. What? 50. More. No.

60. More. Fuck off. 80. 70 tests. What? The money these fucking Made in Chelsea people have got. Google how much the theory test is.

And he's had to buy CD-ROM. Well, he hasn't, has he? Well, no. Maybe he started on CD-ROM. That, he hasn't, has he? Well, no, yeah. Maybe he started on CD-ROM. That is mental. How do you find the time? He's not working, that, is he?

Oh, it's 23 quid for cars, so he's all right. Well, he's not. That bands up, mate. It's Jamie Lang. He's got a sweet empire. Well, 1,600 quid on theory tests.

Yeah. I mean, that's annoying, isn't it? It's too much. It's more the time. He's only got to sell a few packets of those posh sweets, Rob the time he's only got to sell a few packets of those posh sweets Rob

and he's back in the bloody black give me a couple of theory test questions and then we'll bring on Scarlett okay let's do this you love quizzes don't you I do enjoy quizzes the joy in your voice

you sounded so authoritative give me a couple of questions and it's good here we go start the test what should you do if your anti-lock brakes abs warning light stays on i don't know what here we go i don't know what they are but pull over and oh you've got four options do the four options yeah check the brake fluid level check the foot brake free play check the parking brake is released have the brakes checked immediately c check the parking brake is released i would have gone for d have the brakes

checked immediately okay but you're going for c check the parking brake is released oh he's not told us the answer don't make me do that to the end i'm going to click through 50 questions now. Oh, no. Just for the answer of that one. All right, well, let's not bother. Let's do one more. You have answered one out of the...

End test? End test? Fail. You got that wrong. I wouldn't have passed if I got it right. Yeah, you would have failed anyway, but that's quite fun. Do we dare do a full test on it? What?

Why don't we do a special episode at Christmas? We haven't got time. We haven't got time. Should we do it next week where we do 50 questions? Yeah, we'll do 50 questions next week. Right, and we'll do it properly, and you can actually try and see if you pass or not, OK? OK, I'm going to do my driving theory test next Tuesday.

Next Friday. No, that'll be 10 minutes. Yeah, that'll only take 10 minutes. Oh, wait, my phone's going. Who's this? Oh, it doesn't matter. Shall I take it? Probably not.

We're doing a podcast. You bring on Scarlett and I'll take it. Hello? Josh, you can't take a phone call during a recording. Who was it? Now his headphones are fucked. Yeah, hello. Because he's trying to talk on the phone and he's got a headphone in for the Zoom. Who was it? Now his headphones are fucked. Yeah. Because he's trying to talk on the phone

and he's got a headphone in for the Zoom. Sorry, it's what? Sorry? No, no. I will talk over you so you can't hear what's happening. I'm just... Yeah, working.

Call me back in a couple of hours. Yeah, you wouldn't do this to Adam Hill's on the last leg, would you? Half to. Now put the phone down and lock back in. Half to. At 2.30.

What is it, a dentist appointment? Fucking hell, I'm quick. Come on. Hurry up. Who was that? Just a boring admin thing. That's what this whole show is. Boring admin things.

Is it an osteopath? What is it? Something's coming that you're a bit embarrassed about. No, it's childcare. Oh, right, okay. That is boring. We would talk about that on a podcast. Right, here is Scarlett Moffat.

Scarlett Moffat. Scarlett Moffat. Is it Moffat or Moffat? Do you know what? It just depends where you're from. You can call us out. Because I always say Moffat. I say Moffat. That's like a northern thing.

Perfect. I panicked. Should we start again? No, I like it. I like it. Just keep it in. Yeah, people will finally, finally find out. Huge exclusive. Before we start, Scarlett, congratulations on getting engaged.

I know, I can't believe it, honestly. This was last night. I looked on your Instagram and said, oh, we're speaking to Scarlett tomorrow, brilliant. And I saw that, I was like, is she going to cancel? No, no, it was so lovely. Like, Scott knows that, like, as much as I think people think that, like, I'm very outgoing, like, my favourite place is the house.

So, like, as soon as I walked in and he had the lights and the rose petals and stuff, and then we just got our favourite Chinese. It was lovely. Oh. Yeah, it was really nice. And the baby was there, wasn't it? Yeah, little Jude.

He had, like, a little top on saying, Mummy, will you marry Daddy? So that was cute. Oh, word. How old is he? He's four months now. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. So still early days.

Yeah, he's just dinky. How have you got such a tidy... Because you just showed us your office before and you've got loads of models and stuff. Everything's very tidy and sorted with a four-month-old baby. How are you so composed and doing so well? They don't crawl yet, do they? So I said, you still have time to be able to tidy up and stuff

so if he plays with one toy it can go back in the box I'm sure eventually that won't be the case well because we saw the collection of the little Warhammer figures

right and are they yours or Scott's or both they're both so you're both into painting little models both just geeks really

no shade no fine I work with Josh I'm used to it oh come on now but how protective are you over that at what age We're all just geeks, really. No shade. No, fine. I work with Josh. I'm used to it. Oh, come on now. But how protective are you over that? At what age do you reckon Jude will be allowed to play with a figure?

Because you don't play with them. You sort of paint them and put them on the side, don't you? Oh, they're not for playing with. No. No, come on, Rob. Bit of respect. They're not for playing with. I don't know. I suppose we'll have to have, like, a lock on this doll.

Because, like, the figurines are very tiny. They are a choking hazard. up and play with. I don't know, I suppose we'll have to have like a lock on this door because like the figurines are very tiny. They are a choking hazard. They do sort of look like Kinder Bueno toys. There's that sort of side. And they're quite low on the shelf.

Yeah, I know. You'll have to lock that room. That room will have to be locked. But he will eventually be allowed in here. Maybe it's when he's like five or something.

Eventually, when they're a bit older and can do it properly. But they'll be desperate to get in there and start painting them all. But then I'll be one of them mums that's like, now, now, paint properly. Make sure you're doing it properly, Jude.

None of this mess in the back. It's not for fun. It's a very serious hobby. Is it Warhammer where you get them little, like, figures that you paint? People take it quite seriously, don't they? Very intricate. You've got to have the big light on. Sometimes you use a magnifying glass.

Very tiny, tiny, tiny brushes. So, yeah, it's not for kids. See where you're stuck from. Am I making this up, Josh? But did you do Warhammer stuff and Games Workshop? I did Warhammer from about the age of 11 to 13. I liked the playing. I was no good at the painting.

My painting was shameful. It was really bad. I bet no good at the painting. My painting was shameful. It was really bad. I bet it wasn't. But that tells me a lot about you, Josh, because the fact that you would rather play, me and Scott paint it because we have no one else to play it with. So I think that says even more how geeky we are, that we have no one to play the game with,

so we have to just paint them. So is it a game then, Warhammer, as well? Yeah, there's rules. How do you play the game? It's like Dungeons & them so is it a game then warhammer as well yeah there's rules how do you play the game it's like dungeons and dragons and stuff there's lots of dice rolling what okay well how do you play that you can't say it's like dungeons and dragons and expect me to know how that works it's like a war with dice rolling like risk yeah like a vegas stag do yeah exactly well warhammer aside scott how's it going four months old you enjoying it or how's it going honestly i love it like all of my family were like i really hope you have a kid like you i think they meant that in a bad way i think i must have been a

really naughty kid because my mum and dad then waited 16 years to have another one right okay me and my little sister have 16 year age gap between us but he's just i don't know if it's because his temperament is like scott's but he's just wonderful and like i'm one of those really annoying people that when people go oh are you getting no sleep i'm like no actually he sleeps 12 till 7 every night since he was about two weeks old. Really? What? Yeah. That must have been lovely in a past life

because he's just so chill, honestly. He's just the most chill baby ever. Does he wake up for a feed? He, like, did before. Sometimes he still does now at about four. Then he just goes straight back to sleep. Oh, my God. Can I just...

Your parents wished you had a difficult child like yourself that's what they said yeah that's awful isn't it when i actually say that out loud that's horrific but yeah like i was the type of kid that even from about the age of four i remember like being sent to my room and writing letters and posting it underneath the living room door yeah being like i'm so sorry, that I'm your child. Oh, my God. Take me back to the shop, get a different one if you want. And then my dad would be like, come on back in the living room.

Manipulative, I think is the word I want. So they used to send you out the room? The same if I got in trouble. And I'd just been a bit naughty or whatever. Or it was my bedtime. And then I'd write letters to make them feel guilty about sending me to my room, or I wanted to watch Crystal Maze,

and I'd just write a lovely letter and then knock on the living room door, post it under the door, then run back upstairs, and it worked every time. They'd be like, come on, run back downstairs. I think that's the thing. When you have your own kid, you start to think back of what you were like as a kid.

I used to moan about my kids getting up early then my mum was the same as yours would say like we used to gap at 4.30 every morning good luck

and sort of laugh along we used to have sympathy but like yep excellent great news I would do things like I remember not being allowed

another penguin biscuit I think we had seal biscuits though they didn't have the joke on the back they weren't that fancy I remember being at school and having to pretend it had a joke on the back. Like, oh yeah, what did y'all say?

Knock, knock. It was just making a joke up. But I remember putting a whole packet of them in my pyjama bottoms and then sitting by this like three bars on the gas fire and it looking like I'd just shat everywhere. I was that sort of kid. Oh, so you were stealing them to take to your room and then they melted in your... Yeah, in pyjama bottoms. I was that sort of kid. Oh, so you were stealing them to take to your room and then they melted in your...

Yeah, in pyjama bottoms. I was that type of kid. So I'm hoping that Jude is just like Scott and is very chilled and not a penguin thief. Well, it seems like you've got an absolute winner with the sleeping. How was the pregnancy and the labour and stuff like that? Was that straightforward?

Honestly, I loved it. I think for the first time in my life, I could wear bandeau dresses and not feel like I had to breathe in. What's a bandeau dress, Scarlett? It's like a very, very tight dress. Right. Not very forgiving. It shows everything. Oh, I know them, yep.

And I purposefully wore them because I was like, I'm never going to be able to wear these ever again in my life so I can wear them throughout my whole pregnancy, breathe out, not be bothered. So yeah, I just lived in dresses the whole pregnancy. I absolutely loved it. Did you?

This is the most positive episode we've ever recorded. I mean, I feel like I should maybe throw something. Like, it is that. Don't be honest. Well, the thing is, like, I was just genuinely lucky. And I feel like I have to say that because I've had loads of friends who have had morning sickness. I didn't get any of that.

Me craving was funny dew melon. It wasn't anything weird like charcoal. I do feel very blessed in the pregnancy that I had. Actually, I suppose the actual birth didn't go to plan. So Jude came at 35 weeks. Oh, blimey. Is that seven weeks early? Five weeks early, yeah.

So I heard like a pop. And then, well, Scott thought I'd weed the bed, which is not something I do on a regular basis. I don't know why he was like, oh, Scarlett, you're going to weed the bed. Oh, here she goes again. Yeah, I was like, I think that's my water he was like nah that's not enough water like i think because we've watched so many movies we were expecting like a proper tsunami of like water yeah i thought it was going to be a bit like you know like in

films in like the summer in new york where they hit the fire hydrant so the water comes out i've expected like a powerful surge. I'm pleased it wasn't like that. So then we went to the hospital and they were like, oh yeah, yeah, active labour hasn't started yet. Basically, without, I know like years of blogspot, years of heard all this before, my water's broke, but then Jude's head was acting like a plug. I've not heard this one before, so he's plugged it up.

Yeah, so he was like, no, I'm staying in here a bit longer. So every time I, like, walked or moved, a bit more dribbled out. Oh, my word. So I was just walking around as if I was, like, just casually weeing. Yeah. So then I had to have a C-section. But, again, it was lovely. I really enjoyed myself.

I would say that you're so positive. We're really in another person's hands. How was it? I was a nightmare. Baby was early and I had to have an emergency C-section because his head was a plug inside me. But you're like, yeah, just had a C-section. Yeah, it was like, honestly, the nurses and my doctor was lovely.

She was called Geordie and she wore like a Disney hat and had pink crocs on. She was just wonderful. And then the music we had on, Jude was actually lifted out of me to Shania Twain, Man I Feel Like a Woman. Not the opening line, Shoddy. Let's go, girls. Like perfect for me, because all of his godparents are actually drag queens, so I just couldn't have wrote it.

Amazing. And then my placenta was born to the Macarena. Now, there's a couple of things I want to pull you off. Born. Is it being born, the placenta, or is it coming out at the end? Because obviously the baby's being born. But when the placenta was born, that it lives and as a life like it just that thing like how the lion king where it gets lifted out it sort of feels like it was born i suppose with cesarean do they

pick that up themselves then all out and honestly it's the weirdest thing like i thought when i looked into c-sections and stuff because i thought I'd best prepare myself in case this happens. I thought like you'd just not feel anything at all but you can feel everything but it's just not painful. Yeah, I thought it would be completely numb so you can feel them rooting around. Oh yeah, you feel your organs like sort

of drop after like Jude came out and then there's more room for your organs. I sort of like felt everything drop. Honestly, it was amazing. And they were playing Barbie Girl at that point? No, I think I zoned out at that point. Can I ask a question on the songs?

Was this your own playlist or were they listened to? I think it was like Absolute Party Classics or something like that. I was like, oh, I want quite a party atmosphere so that I can... Some people have like relaxing music, but I was like, I just want to pretend I'm anywhere but sort of like on a slab getting cut open, essentially. Yeah, that's my kind of party.

If I've not got five guys rooting around in me, I'm not partying. So yeah, no, it wasn't my personal playlist, but it was a good one. Amazing. And was recovery alright after the caesarean? Piece of piss! I'm just answering for her. Tell you what, Scarlet Moffat loves life and life loves her back.

Obviously, I was in like pain and stuff, like it does hurt. Oh, stop fucking banging on about it now, Scarlet. Fucking hell. Trying to keep her out up here. No, like it was all right. The thing is, right, when you're pregnant, you have quite a long time to sort of get to grips with the fact that a baby's going to come out

and like you have to have so much recovery and stuff like that. So I think I just managed to get my head around like I am going to be in pain for a little bit and I'm not going to be able to walk around like I normally can and stuff. So, and also it's nice being waited on. Like, if anything, I milked it, to be honest with you.

I was sat on the couch, I could reach for my cup. Oh, Scott, can you pass my cup for me? It was wonderful. I didn't have to do anything for ages. How's Scott getting on? Is Scott enjoying it as well? So are you both off work at the moment or? I'm back to work.

I went back to work last month, but Scott's took six months off. Oh, lovely. But I'm hoping he takes a career break. I keep like, when you're in the police, you can take like a five-year career break. Oh. Because I quite like him being daddy daycare.

It's lovely. He's such a good dad, yeah. Obviously, when you go back to work i know it's really really hard for people because of like child care and all that stuff so i feel like really fortunate that actually like scott's always here yeah i just don't ever want him to go back to work i'm like please stay yeah well i suppose that's pretty because they can go straight back in after five years but it's difficult families working out what they want to do. And what job did you go back into? What are you doing at the moment then, what you did straight after?

Just bits and bobs, like the Great British Bake Off Extra Slice and all that. And I did like a show with Rosie Jones and Catherine Ryan and Judy Love, like just like nice fun stuff. That's the thing. Some people have like a really important career plan. I just cannot believe that i have managed to wing this job for so long that i'm like let's just keep doing fun stuff like i cannot believe i get paid for like some of the stuff i do i'm like i genuinely would pay to be on this show

do you know what i mean don't say that scarlet Scarlett. Don't say that. It is true, though. So I'm just like, when my agent's like, let's have a strategy plan, and I'm like, the strategy is, let's just keep having fun. And that's it. Pop on the Macarena and let's get out of my placenta. Let's enjoy our lives. So that's your five-year plan there, just have fun. Just have fun, really.

Yeah, keep my kid alive and just have fun. That's it. That's about as deep as I get do you know what I think there's a lot to be said for that that's the main thing if you're having fun and everyone's alright and doing it life is hard isn't it life is hard for everyone at the minute so like you've just got to try and like

find happiness in like the small things tiny little warhammer figures having a caesarean being pregnant all the small things find the happiness. Your organs dropping. Are you able to drive now? Because I know you failed your test a lot,

but when you're a parent, obviously, it's quite important, maybe. Yeah, well, I failed 13 times. And then... Get the fucking hint. I've had enough honestly. Do you think you should be allowed to pass? I think over 10, you should be banned for life well if anything i think i'm like safer than a lot of people because i'm probably like london taxi

driver level now like the amount of hours that i'm put into driving how much have you spent on the lessons oh it doesn't even How many driving instructors have left me? That's the thing. Have you been broken up with by a driving instructor? What do they say? Oh, sorry, I've got too many people on my books. Gosh, you have. Or, like, oh, the car's not working today and then I've seen them out and about.

Like, honestly, it's terrible. But I've passed now. Oh, well done. Yeah, i think because we did a show called scarlet's driving school and i think that's the only reason i passed because i was in work mode yeah no i was like no this is serious now so i didn't get like the anxiety that i used to get on doing my tests and stuff and anybody who's doing the driving test, I would give you this tip. Have a banana and an amordium just before your test.

I think that's what did it for me. Really? Yeah, banana and an amordium. So I didn't shat myself and, like, I had energy. Do you know what I mean? That's why I passed. So on the first 13 attempts, did you shit yourself? Very nearly.

I don't want to get into it too much. What was your worst fail? This wasn't the worst one, as in nothing dangerous happened on this one. But for me, this was the most embarrassing. It was when I was... First of all, I say rest in peace to the man's family. R.I.P. I had just started on Gogglebox,

so a couple of people started, like, recognising who I was, which was really weird anyway. So I was on my test and this school bus pulled in and I went a bit too close behind it, pulled in and I went a bit too close behind it so we had to wait 20 minutes for all of the school kids to get on the bus and all the kids walking past were like and it was just so embarrassing and then I like looked at the instructor and I was like I failed haven't I and he was like just carry failed, haven't I? And he was like, just carry on, just carry on. And then another time, he had to physically grab hold of the wheel.

Basically, Durham, where I live, has got a lot of banks. And I just sort of started rolling back. I just loaned out a bit. I thought you meant banks as in money banks. Where you put your money. You mean hills? Hills, yeah. We call them banks, money. You mean hills? Hills, yeah. We call them banks, don't we, man?

Hills. Hills? Hills has got grass on. Banks are steep roads. Really? Google this, Josh. Google it. Search engine this, please.

Search engine this. Why is that in a search engine? Because we call them banks. I'm doing bank or hill. I mean, I thought banks would have grass on. No, hills have got grass on, like in the moors. Whereas a bank... The moors!

Whereas a bank is like... You're getting so Northern, so Durham now, you get defensive over your banks. Do you know what it is? Just because Northern Rock went down the fucking shit, it doesn't start giving me bank nonsense. That's not a bank, that's not a bank. Well, a hill, road hill.

A road hill. I started rolling down the road hill at a pretty fast pace, if I must admit myself. So that was quite a scary one. Right, Rob, what did the search engine say? Be honest. It agreed with me, didn't it? The search engine said,

the problem is I'm getting a lot of stuff about why banks are called banks. It's something to do with Italians. Oh, you're like Susie in Dictionary Corner, aren't you? Do you want that? Do you want the bank? Why is a bank called a bank? The word bank comes from the Italian word banco, meaning a bench.

Since Italian merchants in the Renaissance made deals to borrow money beside a bench, they placed money on that bench. And that was what was used, bench, banco. Every day is a school day. Yeah. That means it's just a northern thing

when it comes to no a bank you know I know a bank hillsides are obviously interchangeable however there are distinct differences

between the two bank and hillside refer to a natural incline or slope in the land yeah so am I right genuinely speaking

a bank is a steeper slope that is often man-made and serves a specific purpose no they're not man-made well the road's man-made isn't it the road's man-made, isn't it? The road is. So a bank is a road, like a road hill,

and a hill is just a grassy hill. But I found it weird because banks are normally along bodies of water and highways and stuff like that. Oh, you're getting too technical now, Matt. Oh, here we go. No, we're too technical now. You're wrong. I think a hill is something that naturally occurs, right?

Yeah. Where a bank is man-made, like wrong. I think a hill is something that naturally occurs. Yeah. Where a bank is man-made, like to get out of a river or out of a highway. And I understand that the road is man-made, but the road's normally been built onto a hill. Oh, my word. There's a natural hill that a road's been on. Send your emails in. If there's any geographical people, send your emails in. Geographical people.

So, long story short, you can now drive. Long story short, you can't do your clutch. So, I can drive now, but I haven't actually driven with Jude in the car yet. Right. I think that's a good idea, and don't change that. Yeah. I think that's a good decision you should stick with. So, did you do manual or automatic?

Oh, just automatic. I didn't confuse things. So, you failed 13 times in auto. Oh auto oh no i've finally passed do an automatic yeah right i can't do manual be an idiot to do manual now no cars are manual these days well they'll all be electric soon won't be exactly you mentioned goggle box and we will come back to parenting how do you end up on Gogglebox oh so my friend Tommy who was like a researcher he rang us one day and he was like oh I'm a researcher for Channel 4 now I thought the only researchers I've heard of is scientists so I was like well we've got a science job for what you're doing with Channel 4 and he was like no no i'm trying to get so many families

to audition in county durham so you know a lot of people can you ring around for us so basically wanted me to do his job for him right yeah so i ran loads of people explained what it was i was like you watch the telly they were like yeah i went no that's it and everyone was like god they'll make programs about anything going on my god it does sound crap and i was like sorry tommy no one wants to do it and he went well can you just start audition like it'll go nowhere no one will see it they'll come to your house and it just makes me look good and i think because we were just doing it as a favor and never actually wanted to get on it i think it meant that we were really relaxed.

Like, I think I had an argument with my dad about the bedroom tax, like the one bedroom tax. Like, it was as if the cameras weren't there. That was the Friday and then the Monday. They rang us and were like, would you like to be on the show? We start filming tomorrow. Bloody hell. And I was like, oh, I don't know about that.

And my dad, the man who says nothing on Gogglebox, he was like, that's 50 quid and a free takeaway, isn't it? So we did it. That's honestly how it started. 50 quid each we used to get and a takeaway. I think it's a piss take. I know. Because you weren't allowed to do anything else.

You probably wouldn't be able to do this when you was on Gogglebox, would you, just appear on this? Oh, no. They've got quite strict contracts. Like, to be fair, though, for us, I didn't actually live at home since uni. Like, as soon as I got a bit of independence at uni, I was like, I really like this. Where did you go at uni?

York. York. Oh, lovely. York. A lot of banks there, isn't there? A lot of banks. Not posh York. York St. John's.

Right. But it's still a lovely place to go to uni, what I mean. It is, but York Uni used to sing to us, your dad works for my dad, your dad works for my dad. Like, we were at that uni. But, yeah, like, because I didn't live at home, I thought this is a perfect way of actually, like, being able to go home and watch telly with my family

and have a takeaway and stuff. So, actually actually it was quite nice when I look back it's very very fond memories yeah but you're getting paid 50 quid you know how much money channel 4 were getting for adverts well you know what I always think about and I've actually never said this before but it was a bit exploitive like my face was on t-shirts easter eggs books like and you know we we couldn't agree to that, disagree, didn't get paid for any of that. And now I think about it, I'm like,

I should have been getting at least a penny for each Easter egg sold. I agree. I think so, yeah. Well, I think you're better that you've gone your own way now and you're doing your own thing. It's worked out brilliantly for you. I just love it, honestly. Like, it was never the plan, which I think makes it even better. Yeah.

Although I do get imposter syndrome sometimes. Sometimes I do think someone's going to swoop in and go, come on, time is time. You've had enough now. No. Everyone feels like that about whatever they're doing, so you shouldn't feel like that. I was going to say, you did Gogglebox,

but then you went into the jungle. That's coming back. I think it should be on now when this goes out. It starts on the 19th of November. I'm so excited. And you won it. I mean, obviously I was with your good friend, Joel. Both of you still love Joel.

Yeah, it was on Joel Dometch here, yeah. It's crazy because I think it was seven years ago. Yeah. Really? Yeah, but it just doesn't feel like seven years ago. It was 2016. That was six years ago? Yeah, it was 2016't be like seven years ago. It was 2016. That was six years ago? Yeah, it was 2016.

Yeah, seven years ago. Because I went to a fancy dress New Year's Eve party as Joel that year. Oh, did you? How did you do that? I just bought the, like, a kind of... Oh, right, I thought you went topless and drew some abs on. No, no, no. Just walking around talking about CrossFit.

Hi, I'm Joel Donovan, I do CrossFit. Oh, and he's just had a little baby. I loved listening to his episode on your podcast. Oh, do you listen then, Scarlett? Yeah, and obviously

he hasn't actually had his little one when he did your podcast, but I'm excited to hopefully he does a follow-up so I can hear what he's up to.

Oh, we'll get him on. We're struggling for guests, Charlotte. No, we're not. Oh, God, Charlotte then. Charlotte? Who's Charlotte that you want on? No joke struggling for guests, Charlotte. No, we're not. Oh, God, Charlotte, then. Charlotte? Who's Charlotte that you want on? No joke, I get called Charlotte on the daily.

Do you? Really? Yeah, and sometimes I feel like a bit of a bigot because if someone's shouting, Charlotte, Charlotte, I'm like, do I turn round? Or is that really bigoted if I just assume they're shouting at me? But a lot of the time they are actually shouting at us. Well, yeah, because you don't want to be like,

yes, hello, it's me. No, not you. They're like, no, you're not Charlotte. Are you back in Durham now then? You're not in York anymore. No, no, back in Durham. I love it here.

Like, I live 10 minutes from every member of my family. Have you left the baby with them yet? One night we have with my mum and dad. Actually, no, twice because Scott's mum and dad

have had him overnight as well. Wow, that's good. I think it's good to do that early if you've got people that will take them and it makes it easier than when they get older. I know, I feel really, like, awful because loads of, like, my aunties and everything, like, would love it, but it's just, like, he's my baby.

I'm like, oh, I don't want him to just stay out willy-nilly. So, yeah, it's just my mum and dad and Scott's mum and dad can have him overnight. I mean, Scott's like, oh, why doesn't he go out like every Saturday or every Friday and we can have a date night? I love the fact you call it him going out. Like he's off on the left.

He's out again. He's out again having his little bottle of milk. No, I'm like, I like Jude being there for date night. I like him being there are you doing any um like baby classes with him or is it too early now or have you got things planned is there any things you've been like oh i can't wait i've got my baby and i want to take him here and do this is there anything on your hit list to do with him yeah so he's been swimming since he was four weeks old so he does water babies which is amazing like i just love that

so much and i can't wait to have the magic of Christmas back because everyone in my family like the last one who like had the magic of Christmas was Noah and he's now 11 so it's like we've

got it back again now which is lovely. What I would say Scarlett is your baby will not give a shit for at least two more years. It's just like you

should be like that staring at lights. If anything this Christmas is going to be two more years. Yeah. It's just like, you should be like that, staring at lights. If anything, this Christmas is going to be worse than the last one. I'm just warning you now. So don't get your hopes up too much, because Jude will not give a fuck. He won't, will he? He doesn't know it. And when I just keep passing him to lots of different versions

of Santa all the time, I'm not... No joke throughout December, I think it's 12 times we're meeting Santa. Really? You booked it all? Yeah. Everything we can book within a 50 mile radius, we are going to.

Like I love Christmas so much. I'm so excited. That's nice. But I did try and go to all of my friends because I'm 33 now. A lot of my friends, they don't have babies. They have older children. So I'm sort of the only one in my friendship group that has a baby baby.

And they were like, go meet some mam friends, go to some classes. I'll be totally honest, right? I might sound out of order here. I have my friends. They're lovely, the group I went went to but they were like we're going to cost a coffee after and i was like brilliant have a lovely time this is not my cup of tea because all he did was compare the kids all the time yeah like oh my kid's drinking this my kid's eating rusks and i'm like no this isn't for me it's not a competition all kids develop at different

ages and also I don't want to feel like my kids behind do you know what I mean like when they've got some woman who's kids like six weeks

and they're like oh she's already like into Mozart and like you're lying you're lying you're lying you just want to scream

you're lying aren't you you're lying because you're insecure and you're worried and you're trying to make everyone else feel worried to make yourself feel better you're lying I had to like really bite my worried and you're trying to make everyone else feel worried to make yourself feel better. You're lying.

I had to really bite my tongue a few times. I'm not an angry person, but I felt like I was walking away angry. I was like, yeah, I need to stop going to these baby sensory groups. There's always someone, isn't there, who's saying their cesarean was really easy and that their child's sleeping through seven hours. That's awful people, aren't they?

Ark at Earth, seven hours sleep a night. Two sets of grandparents looking after him. I know, I know how lucky I am, though. It's not like I'm taking it for granted. I genuinely, every day, I'm like, what did I do to deserve this? But I don't know whether he's like lulling us into a false sense of security

so that if we have another little baby, that one might be a terror. So is he breastfed at the moment? He was, but not now. Yeah. He's just on the old Kendamil, which my nanny calls kennel milk. Kennel milk?

She's only 70 as well. It's not like she's lost the plotter out, but she's always like, are you still giving him that kennel milk? I'm like, he's not a dog, nanny. Kendamil. So how old are you, Scarlet? 33. God, yeah, you're so young

still because you've just been on the telly for so long. Fucking hell, yeah. What age were you when you were first on the TV? So I think I started Gogglebox 10 years ago. I think I'll have been 23. Yeah, because you were just at the end of uni moving back home kind of thing, weren't you? Yeah. So none of your friends have got kids yet?

Well, they all have kids, but they're all like five, six. Some of them are... Oh, so the other way, you were the... I'm the last one in my friendship group. Yeah, because I was saying, sometimes going to those classes helps if your friends haven't got any kids because you have nothing to talk to them about because they're totally living in a different world

where at least you can go to your friends, oh, I'm doing this and that. It's quite recent for them with their kids if they've got five-year-olds and stuff yeah but do you know what i found like the guidelines like i don't know who comes up with like safe sleep and like how many ounces of milk babies should have but like everything changes every year so when i'm asking for advice i obviously like yeah search engine it yeah to check that it's right but sometimes it's wrong because everything changes like even my friends who have five-year-olds it's all changed like when you start weaning them

like they started weaning their babies when they was three months old whereas now my health visit is like oh yeah when he's six months old or at least so that he can grab and sit up straight like that's when you start weaning. When some of my family are like, has he tried banana yet? I'm like, no, he's four months old. He's had an out in his mouth other than a teeth. The boomers will try and stick a roast dinner down their throat at about a week old.

Oh, I can't wait for him to have chocolate milk puttons. Whoa. Yeah. He's had chocolate milk puttons. Take a bit of gravy on my... My dad will dip his finger in a bit of gravy try some gravy and he's like plumbing gravy into my kid's mouth i'm like you don't need to get a kid into gravy they don't need condiments yet no oh thank god they like gravy that's really gonna help all

the all the things they need has anyone ever said this on a call to you scarlet they almost did again that because you've got really dark hair and you're on a black seat and you're wearing black, it looks like you've got massive pink ears. Are we in because of your headset? It looks like you've got two pink ears. Yeah, I do, actually.

You can tell each other to be under the sun. It's not because of the hair. It's so funny. Oh, you're giving me a complex now, Josh. Chee, isn't it? No, it's not like your day today. It's only because of the hair. It's so funny. Oh, you're giving me a complex now, Josh. Cheers, mate. No, it's not like your day-to-day. It's only because of the headphones. You go, maybe you can change the colour, they go.

Yeah, you can. I'll do that. I'll get Scott to do it. Awful moment if I realised that was her actually. Yeah, I know. What do you mean, Josh? I haven't got headphones in. Oh, God.

Oh, God. You know what? That's actually just reminded me that when my family first met Jude, I've got quite sticky out ears. And they went, oh, yes, he's got Scott's ears. Oh, yes. Awful thing to say. It wouldn't have mattered if he had my sticky out looks, actually. He'd still be cute. Oh, I feel like you've got similar parents to mine that sort of working class everyone loves each other to death but taking the mickey is character building

is what my mom calls it 100% yeah when i was the kid my nickname of my own mom and dad was helga pataki because i had a monobrow you know like opey arnold and then they used to go move it football head when i used to get in from school that's what they would say to me, move it, football head. So anything anyone called me at school, I was like, well, it's not as bad as what I'm getting at home. Wow. So do you think that works as a parenting method?

How do you feel about that? It gets you on Gogglebox, Rob. Well, it does, yeah. I mean, it's that kind of thing of, is it character bin or would you have got by without being called Helga Pataki by your own parents? I don't know if I can bring myself to call my kids, you look like so-and-so and laugh at them because I don't think that's nice.

Do you know what I mean? But it seems to laugh as a time when you're a kid, but I don't know if I could do that to Martin. No, I can't do that. I understand sort of like why my mum and dad did it. Because I suppose like it is funny, isn't it? You've got this little kid running around who looks like Helga Pataki. Like, why not?

I knew deep down that they loved us. But no, I don't think I could focus on something of Jude's that maybe wouldn't be like aesthetically pleasing. And start and go on, like, look at your chin, look at your chin. Oi, big nose wanker. You forgot your packed lunch. I'll just call him big nose wanker, actually.

He's my kid. It's character building. Calling someone a name and then saying, ah, it's just a laugh, doesn't mean that it's funny. I don't know why parents think that it's okay to be like, oh, yeah, and then just go, oh, where's your thing to you? Have you left it at home? I'm crying, man.

Stop it. I'm very self-conscious about my manor brow, actually. I'm getting the piss out of it at school. I want a break when I come home, so stop calling me Elga Pataki. It's what I wanted to say, but I just went, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Ha, ha, laughed. I'm just calling me Helga Pataki. It's what I wanted to say, but I just went, ha ha ha, ha ha, laughed.

I'm just Googling Helga Pataki. Yeah, Google Helga Pataki and you'll piss yourself, Josh. Yeah, that's the one. Oh yeah, oh God. Because I imagine if my daughter looked like Helga Pataki,

I might say to Lou, she looks a bit like Helga Pataki, doesn't she? And then Lou would go, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

And that would be it. Not, do you know what we should do? We're both 37. Should we just start calling that eight-year-old Helga Patakis? A little bit of chilled-out banter. She is a funny-looking cartoon character, isn't she? Do you know what my mum once done?

Because I'm absolutely petrified of clowns. I don't know where that fear comes from, but I remember my mum telling a story about when the first McDonald's opened up in the area and Ronald was there. I closed my eyes for that long. I just fell asleep. That's how scared I was of it.

She once, like just on a casual Tuesday or something, dressed up as a clown and came downstairs going, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And I was crying and my mum and dad were pissing themselves laughing. I've seen them laugh so much, to the point where my mum was crippled on the floor laughing. And they wouldn't look back now. And they always talk about that at parties.

They're like, I remember that time that I dressed up as a clown. Yeah, I do. It's engraved in my brain. I'm absolutely traumatised. And I was still getting clowns because of it. But that was my mum's way of like getting me over my fear. And did it get you over the fear? No. I still can't go in certain branches of McDonald's

because of the pictures on the wall. Eating chicken nuggets, knowing I'm being watched by that beady-eyed Ronald McDonald. It's just very unsettling. But yeah, I'm'm like if Jude ends up being scared of spiders I'm not going to like go well

guess what you're getting for Christmas a petrarch going in your room I think millennials are completely like just a different set of people now

because we're the only sort of generation that have had a bit of a life without technology as well and all the trauma of the character building that we had a bit of a life without technology as well and all the trauma of the character building that we went through yes of course the old character building trauma i think

like we're now stopping that sort of like character building and encouraging kids to like actually actively play like as well because we don't just want them to be like tablet kids do you know what i mean like oh we're staring at a tablet yeah yeah and also you want to talk to them about how they feel about something yeah my instinct always to make a joke out of it and yours is too but then maybe that's because of our upbringing which has helped us in our careers yeah definitely stuff like that however sometimes if you do feel something it's better rather than making a joke of it to go they talk about their inner cheerleader. So the good cheerleader and bad cheerleader in their head that my daughter was talking about the other day.

It's so much more progressive than just like one. Where's your sense of humor? Why aren't you laughing? That is funny. You've got to be pathetic. And say words I probably couldn't even say now. My whole podcast will get cancelled. But that's what I would have been called for being upset.

I remember once when I was must have been seven or eight and I was at a holiday camp with extended family and all cousins and stuff like that you don't speak to a lot of them now awful people but let's not get bogged down in that and I remember I was with all the cousins and they were all like 20 22 the oldest ones and I was like seven went oh Rob can you go there and get some crisps they sent me out to get some crisps when I come back they'd all left And then the biggest one jumped out on me in the middle of the dark of the holiday camp. And I placed it now out of a tree.

And I absolutely shit myself. Yeah. And got really upset. And then that was all, oh, come on. Just trying to have a laugh. I'm like, it's a horror film. I'm seven. I'm seven.

That would have been the first time your, like, fight or flight would have probably have set in. Yeah. Oh, if someone had done that to my daughter, I'd go and fight them. Yeah. I'd literally go, that's not on, mate. But also, you've got to question why a 20-year-old would want to do that as well. Well, the answer is now, I have nothing to do with them.

Now I'm an adult and I can see. But yeah, that's what I mean. I think I really am going to be one of those parents that's like, it's okay to cry. It's normal. Like, you're allowed to cry. You're allowed to feel your feelings and stuff. And I think that's a really good thing.

That can only be a good thing that we all talk about our feelings. You don't want to be like, oh, no one's allowed to have a sense of humour and stuff like that. But it's balanced where, like, I think sometimes, like, me and my brothers, we used to call each other, I had fat nipples, so I got called Jaffa Cake Kids. Dan had spotty back,

so we used to call him Dartball Back. And Joe had a bit of smelly breath once, so we called him Dogshit Breath for about eight years. It's not OK. Dogshit Cousin as well. We had a Dogshit Breath Cousin. It's just too brutal, I think.

Do you know what I mean? It needs to be middle ground. I think, like, I don't know whether it's a northern thing as well, but, like, calling people are, like, terms of endearment. Like, the worse you get called, like, oh, lizard lips. Like, it's like, I really love you. Do you know what I mean? Who's called lizard lips?

Oh, I used to get called lizard lips off my uncle, Daniel. Why? What's wrong with your lips? I don't know. Apparently, they look like lizards. I was about six, Rob. I don't know. Apparently they look like lizards. I was about six Rob. I don't know what happened. He could burn again like I just had to like go with that

and then be like oh yeah that's fine that he's got lizards. And do you think your parents would be like that with their grandson? No. They're the complete opposite. Why does this happen? I feel like all of a sudden they're like oh let's wrap them in cotton wool and oh my gorgeous boy are you okay like if he even like so much as looks

like he's gonna cry they're like oh let's have cuddles i'm like you would definitely not like that with me i feel like that must be like a different love that they have for like grandchildren maybe also they're under less pressure now than they were when they were younger and working and stuff like that your dad comes in from like a job where it is or banter banter banter and then that just bleeds over into the household do you know what i mean yeah and really like i've got quite a young family so my nanny became a nan when she was 37 right so like when i think of my nan i always think of her as an old person but she was 37 right so like when i think of my nan i always think of her as an old person but she was 37 fucking hell your nan was younger than me and like i remember being at my mom's 30th birthday

my mom had me when she was 19 and my nanny had my mom when she was 16 so it's such a young family yeah so it's more like mates then isn't it because you're younger yeah so me and my mom honestly are like besties. But I think that's because we sort of grew up together, essentially. We're like sisters. Yeah, like now I think back, like how she is with my little sister who's 17 compared to how she is with me is completely different.

My mum and dad always joke and go, oh, we sort of like learn off of you. Now we've put that into him and I'm like, oh, please, that was a good of you. Now we've put that into it. And I'm like, oh, please, that was a good trial run. Please, that worked out for you. It is different generations. Sometimes my dad comes around. He's 18, my dad, next year.

We're watching the telly. He'll say something, and it isn't too bad, but it's sort of like a turn of phrase or something that's a bit old school. And like, obviously, we know one talks about that in our house. So it'll come up and I'll just sort of look and look and go, oh, no. The girls are getting old enough now to go, what does that mean, grandad? You're like, oh, no.

But it's not anything too bad, but it's just those sort of things. Is your dad 79, Rob? Yeah, he's 80 in July next year. He's a good Nick, isn't he? Yeah, he does look well. What are you going to do for his birthday? You've got to do a big old birthday bash, isn't he? Yeah, he does look well. What are you going to do for his birthday? You've got to do a big old birthday bash, haven't you? Yeah, I think so.

My mum and dad's 80, my mum's 70 on the same day next July. So I think we might do a party. On the same day? Ten years apart, though. I know, disgusting. Exactly ten years apart. That's amazing. Exactly ten years apart.

They met when they were 19. My mum was 19. Let's get that clear. All right, OK, fine. No one was judging. no one was judging no one was judging but you're gonna at 80 say things that are a little bit like off but when the seven year olds like it's just what my dad's life has been like and he's seen compared to the life my seven-year-old has had yeah yeah it is insane so your dad was born during the war? Yeah, 44. Yeah, fucking hell.

Carsey's going to have a different outlook on life. Well, I think that's where that character building stuff comes from. Basically, like that generation, the generation above them were all in the war. So lots of people lost people. So there was a lot of people without parents and stuff growing up and stuff like that. And their childhood was rationed.

And their childhood was rationed and it was all a bit of a mess. And then they had kids and it was sort of like, there's nothing you could sort of do or say that was really going to fuck them up more than there being a war. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you're going, oh, you've called them Helga Pataki.

And then my dad's sisters and brothers would have heard the air raid sirens going and stuff like that. Yeah, on the Grand Skeleton. They hadn't even heard of Helga Pataki. They were 50 years away from her. Exactly. The monobrand started growing, but she wasn't on telly yet.

But then again, just because war is worse, you should still not be called names by your parents as character building. Well, I even think, like, I feel old when I listen to my little sister. Like, my little sister, well, I'm staying little, but she's 17. For ages, she kept calling us goat, right?

And it got to the point where I went, if you call me goat one more time, because she kept putting like goat sister on texts all the time. And then she was like, no, it means greatest of all time. It was like, again, character building. I thought she was saying I was like a farmyard animal. She was like, oi, goat sister, can you bathe me some money over? And I'm like, you're calling me goat. but then now i know it's greatest of all time so i was like it's like a different

language so i think jude is generation is called alpha right is it yeah so like ava's gen z and then jude's alpha so i've started again. We're millennials. Is it Boona, Boomer, Boona? Boona, Jalfrezi, Alpha. Boomer, Millennial, Gen Z, Alpha. Yeah. Gen X as well. Gen X. I always thought I was a Gen Xer.

Yeah, we are Gen X, but you can call it Millennial as well. Yeah. How old are you, Josh? I'm 40. Josh is 40. I think you might be slipping into boomers i'm not a boomer i'm not a boomer i'm a millennial josh you're a chicken boomer get out of here

right i'm gonna search engine what generations we are well here he here he goes. Oh, Boomer, what are you on AOL? While you ask Scarlett the final question. It's josh1 at AOL.com. Which generation? You ask the final question, Rob. I think we do this once every six months, trying to work out what generation we are. Right. I am.

Can you work it? He's still on dial-up. You can make the text bigger Josh on the screen if you go to text view go to view text size

you can make it bigger or I find just move the glasses down at an angle okay Rob your dad is post-war post-war right

your mum is boomer one I'd say my mum is the original Boomer. Right. I'd say she invented it. She is.

I've never known anyone to be more of a Boomer. She buys the mail for the newspaper magazine in the middle. And then there's Boomer 2, which is Generation Jones, whatever that means. Right. That's you then. We increasingly break up Booms into two different cohorts because the span is so large.

So that is 55 to 64. And then there's Gen X, 65 to 80. And then we're all millennials, 81 to 96. Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah, we'll take that. We'll take it back. You're not a boomer, Josh.

Yeah, there was a whole generation. Boomers ended in 1964 for fuck's sake. When were you born? 72? 83. I love how easy it is to wind him up.

Classic Boomer. They can't take a joke, can they? Character building, Joe. Right, Scarlett, the final question

and you've only been doing it for four months but I'm sure you'll be able to give us an answer. What's the one thing that Scott does as a parent where you go, oh my God, he's amazing. I'm so lucky that we've got a baby together. And what's the thing he's doing at the moment

that if he was to listen back and you complained about, he would go, yeah, I think she's got a point there. But you don't want to bring it up because it might make it a bit tetchy in the household. I imagine you tell him anyway, don't you? Yeah, of course I do. Do you know what? Like, without bigging him up too much,

like, he does most of the pooey nappies. Oh, good on him. Yeah, because I am a gaga. You're a gaga? Lady gaga? I am a lady gaga. Yeah, I know I should probably be able to stand my own kid's shite, but it makes my eye twitch.

It just stings. So I'm very fortunate that Scott is not phased and he'll do most of the pooey naffies which I greatly appreciate Respect actually Big up Scott Scott of an S yeah? Scott

and the thing that annoys me is no offence, I don't know if this is a bloke thing, but some of the outfits, I like taking photos and I like making, like every month I've done like, and I'll do it till he's a year old, then I'll just do it every year. But I like to do like...

Yeah, I'll give that six months. I like to do a photo book. So I like him to look nice every day. So even when we do mundane things, I can take pictures so that when he's older, I can show him or his partner when he has a partner and go, Oh, look at these little photos. Some of the outfits like Star Wars tops with that.

He keeps getting him like outfits with Star Wars on. Scarlett, you've married someone that's got a collection of Warhammer. Star Wars t-shirts is the least of your problems. Yeah, but my point is, Jude doesn't know if he likes Star Wars yet, so stop having him in tops saying, my little stormtrooper and stuff. He doesn't know if he likes stormtroopers yet.

He hasn't made that decision, so let's not make it for him. So I think when he looks back, Jude will be able to tell when Mum's dressed him. Yes. And when his dad's dressed him. Yeah, therefore. Have you said this to Scott yet? Yes.

He's like, yeah, but he's my son as well. I want to buy him stuff. And I'm like, well, buy him stuff that you know I would dress him in. So when he's doing that in his outfit, buy that one. Yeah, but then his argument is, Scarlett, and I have this same argument with Lou, he's just as much his child as yours. So why don't you buy outfits that you know that Scott will dress him in?

Because he dresses him as like a little baby Yoda or Batman onesies and stuff. It's his baby. But Jude doesn't know if he likes Batman yet. So what are you dressing him as, Scarlett? Just little cords, little like beige. You don't know if he likes cords yet or beige? I do. No, you don't know if he likes chords yet or beige. I do. No, you don't.

Every baby likes chords. How do you know if your baby likes chords? Mother's instinct. I carried him. Mother's instinct. Okay, drop that on me. In my belly, right? I know.

It's man instinct, actually. I carried him. I know. Oh, here we go. And that's how every fucking conversation ends in my house. I get to a point where surely it should be the same and then they all bang that on me. I'm banging to rights.

That's all I can say. I always say you become a mum when you find out that you're pregnant, but you become a dad when the baby's here. So technically, I've been a parent longer, so I get to decide what outfit to wear. Well, surely it should be from when the sperm meets the egg. Oh.

Let's leave it there. Yeah, let's leave it there. Scarlett, thank you so much for coming. We'll have to get you back on again when Jude's up and about running around. Oh, thank you. Have you got anything you want to promote? Nah, just life. All right.

Yeah, just like happiness. I like promoting that. Yeah. Do you want to send your regards to the out-of-work driving instructors in the Durham area now you're fast? You've been propping that industry up a lot, single-handedly. No, no, I really have around here. God love them.

Scarlett, thanks so much. That was absolutely brilliant. Thanks so much. Oh, thank you. She's great, isn't she, Rob? Love Scarlett Moffat, don't you love her she's brilliant nothing to promote as well love that didn't have to talk about a boring fucking book november rob november and we got on a non-promo guest can you believe it yeah and to the people listening we get it

we get bored of talking about the book as well. But it's how this business works, baby. Yeah. Unless you're an absolute legend like the mobster. Let us know if there's any weird nicknames that your parents gave you as kids. Yeah. If you want to share the trauma, it's always good. Share the trauma. That's our saying.

Share the bloody trauma. Right. I'll see you next week, Josh. See you on Tuesday. I've got a book to promote. You've not read another book, have you? No, no no no you'd fucking know about it

hi my name's David here we go can't do it so we're trying to do an advert for our yeah for Chatterbix hello my name's

Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast with David Allen and it hasn't got a thing Chatterbix is a podcast magazine and chat show, isn't it? We're on three times a week. We have loads of guests, special guests, surprise guests. Natalie Cassidy is on regularly. Yeah, loads of people, loads of people. Andy Goldstein. Yeah.

Okay, can I read some of the highlights? Yeah. Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot, chatting with Ricky Gervais, Harry Hill, James Acaster and Catherine Ryan, amongst others. Visiting a haunted house that was creepy. Being taught how to act by Martin Freeman. Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley. And I met my hero Andrew Roachford and I'm not ashamed to say I cried. That's Chattervix on all the regular channels. Cheers. C-H-A-T-A-B-I-X. Chattervix. Well done, Joe. Thank you. That's our promo. Goodbye. Yes! Hello, my name's David Owen. I present a podcast called My New Football Club at Exeter City.

I used to be a Man United fan, but then I moved to Devon. I thought, I want to support my local side, so I went and watched Exeter. And I've put my heart and soul into this new venture. Hello, I'm John Beer, and I've been an Exeter City fan since I was a tiny little baby. And I basically hold David's hand in guiding through his new life as a lower league football fan.

We sometimes have guests on Tom Davis, Josh Whittacombe, Jack May, Edith Bauman but to be honest most of the pod is about how awkward I am

going to the games on my own sitting on my own and going to toilet on my own. Don't you always go to the toilet on your own? Not always, no. Fair enough. Anyway, we have a new series out

and Exeter are doing bloody well this season aren't they John? Cracking. So why not join us on our journey to the Champions League final, or at the very least, a respectable but incredibly dull

mid-table position in League One. How far do you think Exeter can go in my lifetime, John? In your lifetime? Yeah. Championship, mate. Wow. So if you want to join this very bleak journey,

then please listen to my new football club. Yeah, lovely place to be. Come listen. on this very bleak journey then please listen to my new football club yeah lovely place to be come listen