Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP14: Tom Aspinall

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the current interim UFC Heavyweight Champion - Tom Aspinall. Tom has three kids, two sons and a daughter, and one of his twin boys has autism and additional needs and we discuss his career, raising twins and life as a professioanl fighter and parent. Enjoy! Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with amelia can you say rob beckett and Beckett. And Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittaker. Oh, that's nice.

Very sweet. Yeah. Lincoln. Stoke-on-Trent. Oh, not close, was it? Hi, Josh and Rob. This is my three-year-old daughter, Amelia, introducing your podcast. I've been wanting to do this for about a year,

but she's never played ball until this time. For Rob's guessing game, we're from Stoke-on-Trent. Make sure you come to Stoke on your next tour. Rob, are you going to Stoke? Yes, I am. Love Stoke. I think I'm doing Victoria Hall. Yeah.

Does that ring a bell? That will be where you're doing. That will be where I'm doing. Also, I did say well done after the intro, but ended the recording too early. Okay. How are you? Me? Good.

Vibing. How are you? Good. Vibing. I'm just loving it. Just loving life. How's the tour being on sale, Rob? Exciting.

A bit nervous. Because I've got, like, I've been doing the show, writing the show, but it's still a long way off. It's starting, but it does exist. Yeah. It's where it should be. Exactly. Because if it was ready now, then I'd be bored of it, and it should be exactly because if it was ready now then it

i'd be bored of it and it'll be crap by november yeah when you know people are organizing their life and you've got a show but i mean i love right i love writing the show so you're starting just before christmas in november yes well because i was going to start in january but i don't want to be hanging over me yeah christmas just for just bloody sod it just go i want you to david bowie quote you know the one he talks about being creative and challenging yourself. You need to be out in the water when your feet just don't touch the bottom. Yeah. Pushing yourself slightly more.

Yeah. No, I love it. That is, you've often been seen as the comedy David Bowie. Do you know what? I just feel like this show is going to be where I really stretch my legs artistically.

Oh, I'm glad. Well, if anyone, yeah, well, I was very thrilled when we announced it on here. Well, good luck with it all, Rob. When are you doing yours then? Wow, that's under wraps.

Sign up to the bloody mailing list. It's a bit of an underground thing. A bit of a word of mouth. What do you mean, doing my tour? I might not be doing a tour. Yeah, well, you'll be the first to hear about it on here that's absolutely the first tom aspinall today tom aspinall yes this is exciting having tom aspinall on he's um i'm a big ufc fan and he's a big scary ufc fighter but he's actually quite a normal nice bloke but yeah he was just like sat like on the

corner of like an old chair having a chat on a laptop it didn't really give you the sort of heavyweight champion of the world mike tyson a tiger on a chain five bentley's vibe you know what i mean but no i liked that but i don't think he ever will get like that because he's such a he's quite a normal guy he's got three kids which you'll hear about uh one of them's well good on the rubik's cube um oh man that is just my absolute that is just so good hearing about that i was fascinated by the rubik's cube um yeah so it's a good it's a very good interview so if you're not um a ufc fan or a fighting fan there's loads in there because he's very much i wouldn't say it was overly u heavy. No, I enjoyed it. And I'm not a UFC nut.

Aficionado. I'm not an aficionado. Do you know what? No one is an aficionado. Everyone just uses that to go, well, obviously I'm not a UFC aficionado. But no one goes, do you know what I am? A UFC aficionado. It only gets used to tell something you don't know about something.

That sounds a bit... Bloody hell, I love the tour the tour is coming on well. I was doing a gig at the weekend, the other weekend, with Daniel Kitson was emceeing. Oh, yeah. Which is always quite intimidating because he's the best.

He's the best. But he sort of does all the arty stuff. And then... Yeah, he hasn't got any kids, so we're not interested. Yeah, really. I'm trying to get Tim Key on here because he's a godparent

to like six or seven kids. Oh, is he? Yeah trying to get Tim Key on here because he's got godparents of like six or seven kids. Oh, is he? Yeah. God parenting now. I think he's keen. I said, what's your alternative, Tim? You just go on like XFM or Off Menu and they talk to you about Alan Partridge again.

Come on here. So if you want Tim Key on the show, message him and annoy him at gigs and online. But no, we were chatting about the menu in up the Creek and it said house fries or Greek house fries. And the Greek house fried has, it said feta cheese crumbled on top. And I was like,

well, I said, you can only have it crumbled. There's no other way to have it really. Is it? It is. Even if you try and slice it, you're just,

you're on route to crumble town like that. And, um, he was taking the piss out of me for doing material. I'm not doing material. I was just chatting about the menu and I went, and that would work anyway. And he did it in the gig.

I was going to do it. I'll show you. I can make that work. And then he did it before he brought me on the bastard. Cause I only had about nine minutes anyway. That was fun. Oh, I'm glad you're enjoying being back gigging yeah i'm a gig aficionado actually you are a gig aficionado do you find because i'm back gigging not that i'm getting ready for anything but um do you find well if you were going to get ready for a tour when would the

tour be probably in sort of autumn 2025 right okay so the warm-ups in spring 2035 you're getting ready early though aren't you um well i'm not really gigging that much i'm gigging once or twice a week that's a lot i'd say you're really i don't like the pressure if it's not ready it will never be ready in your head you whatever you do now all right man you've seen my show i've seen your show it'll never be. No one's ever started their talk going, do you know what? I've probably done too many bloody gigs. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

All I need is one more week before Edinburgh. Yeah, so that's good, though. That's very efficient. I'm just, well, no, it's more, I'm trying to enjoy pottering. Do you know what I mean on it? Yes, without the big pressure of doing it. But I love doing it.

But I spoke about this on Tuesday. Yeah.uesday yeah do you find though from a parenting perspective yeah um it's weird going out in the evening again so much and i i wonder whether your kids are a bit older but that's what i'm struggling with is in the early mornings when i've got back at 11 well you're struggling the early mornings i struggle with the... Being awake for the gig. No, missing the bath time, guilt. Oh, fuck that. Mate, I'll tell you what, I'd rather bath two kids

than stand up there with nothing in front of a hundred people. Give me a kid, not even mine, I'll bath it. It's hard. Mate, don't start saying that, mate. Give me a kid that's not mine, Barthet that is the end of your career I do love gigging and I love

my job so I'm not trying to claim I don't like going out and gigging however I don't it's not easy especially when you're going on a tour it's really hard so I don't have the guilt because I'm like no this is quite difficult and if Lou wants to go out and do a tour I'll be a stay at home dad not a problem I probably would still do a tour anyway but yeah i don't feel the guilt

not i don't know i reckon if lou and rose and this can't happen if they announced a tour i think they'd probably sell quite well to the parenting hell um i reckon they could do art centers yeah i think they could do art centers strange gig though I think they could do art centres. Strange gig, though, isn't it? Because, you know, we see each other. Like, little rows know each other. You know, we'll occasionally text or see each other a couple of times a year. Yeah. But we talk to each other every week.

Like, what is happening on that show? We're just like... I'd love to know how that would work as a show. The double act that they work together apart from live you're just like me and you are yeah yeah exactly there'll be a few people there didn't know they were just gone for local comedy night

divorce tour yeah well let's not get into that half and half again they'll call it do you know the problem's going to be Rob we've got if my relationship

does crash and burn all this jokes about it going wrong is going to, I'm a bit the boy who cried wolf. Well, yeah. I mean, what's difficult is listening back, people will be like, blimey, look. God, I could see the warning signs early on.

Rob's very astute, isn't he? I hope it's early on. I hope they're not like, if they say I could see the warning sign six or seven years before, do you know what? We've had a good innings. We've had a good innings. I think, though, that you'd,

you're the kind of guy I think that you would, you'd let it grumble on without confronting it. Just sort of booking a few more gigs or whatever and just go, you know what, I can't confront this. I think you're the drag it out till uni couple. If you were, I don't think you will. I think you're happily married and you love each other and I don't think you will break up.

But I think you might be the drag it until uni couple. Oh, Rob, I had a nightmare with one of my friends. I told you this. She said, I was talking to her and she was talking about her parents. I know her well. Yeah. But it was quite quite it was probably a couple of years into knowing her i was like oh so when did your parents split up was it when you're a kid she said no um they split up um it's quite weird actually like a couple of couple of months after i went to uni and i went oh right were they oh so they were those parents that kind of stayed together

for the kids and then split up because you left home. And she went, what? Oh, God. Oh, God, I suppose, yeah, maybe that is what happened. Just going back to every family holiday for 15 years oh yeah because yeah because dad went he went scuba diving for five days on the holiday oh no oh my god that is i had a nightmare at soft play last week right so i was in soft play and i love a bit of soft play because they're old enough to go in themselves now so you book

them in for an hour and a half i'll go early and i'll get a coffee sit in the corner headphones in and like on tiktok or whatever or watching youtube but just in my coffee in the corner get a couple of bottles of water the kids will come down they go i'm too hot i'm too hot breathe in my face down a bottle of water and run back in okay so it's actually quite a good way to tire them out you know it's like a walk-in and it's quite it's quite stressful when you're first getting because you want to try and get a table in the corner you don't have to share a table and especially tv tax do a bit of telly you want to hide away in the corner because you don't really want to sit with someone and chat for an hour like small talk because that is that's quite hard work um and not even just like

you know even if it was someone i used to work with or whatever or like you know you just want an hour to myself. I walk in, right. As I'm walking in, a geezer just slaps me on the shoulder. It goes, Rob,

you're all right, right. But as if it's like you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd go, oh, what? Right? Anyway, so I go, oh, all right, mate. And I give him a funny look because I sort of, I recognise him, but not like it's you. Yeah, yeah. Right?

So I'm like, oh, all right, mate, like that. And a bit of the sound of it, I'm like, oh, yeah, all right. And he's hitting me quite hard as well. I was like, bloody hell, mate. Anyway, so I go in and the kid's like, immediately. It's almost like when you get to self-play, their bodies explode and all the clothes and shoes fly off them. And you're picking up jumpers and coats and trains.

So I'm picking all that up like and he pops up they go hello there mate you're all right i'm like oh yep yeah same thing yeah you're right mate he goes so i just wanted to say i didn't want to start you like i'm just some random and i'm stood there going i've got nothing i've got no idea who he is but i can't go mate who are you yeah It'd be the equivalent, because the way he was chatting to me was like it would be me saying to you, sorry, who are you? And you'd go, I'm Josh. We do the, like, that's the energy I'm getting.

Anyway, so I go, all right, mate, yeah, all right. Oh, yeah, no worries. Yeah, nice to see you. And I'm playing along. Anyway, and I go and sit back down, and then I'm on my phone like that, and I go, I'll go and get a coffee. Get over the coffee. Boom, he's there again.

Hello, mate. You all right? How's it going there again by the way you're right how's it going you know how's it going oh just um he was just like oh just um i've got getting broken up with the missus i was like oh okay i've got to get the kids back by half one i'm like oh fuck it and that's not and it's quite that's obviously a terrible thing for someone to be going through and now you think and you're like we're best buds yeah of course i'm just got my brain just going to show the fucking thing who is it and i was like oh were you getting were you together long he went well yeah was it like 15 years you know we were we met at cooper's you know and i went to cooper's so now i'm like i know the wife don't i well at least you've at least you've narrowed it down yeah but then that was a red herring right anyway and then he was like oh yeah i mean because you know it's and i won't say the person's name he was like

and i you know it's tony jameson's sister and tony jameson's is a name i half remember i half remember god i sort of know that he was definitely in my year yeah because you know he's tony jameson's sister i'm like do i and i'm supposed to go and i've not heard tony jameson's name for 20 years and i'm like oh fucking hell like not heard tony jameson's name for 20 years and i'm like oh fucking hell like that and then he goes yeah i went oh what you're doing for work well you know um well i used to work for myself now i'm um and i um steve jones's firm but he said steve jones's firm like i know steve jones i'm not i don't know if that is either i don't even know that name but he said it like i I know that bloke. I'm genuinely stood there thinking, have I got dementia?

The guy is chatting to me like, this is me. It's like you talking to me about Tom Crane or Rose. I'm like, fucking hell. And then anyway, so then I go, oh, so yeah, sorry to that, mate. Chat, chat, chat. And then I go back and sit down. And I'm texting my brother because I went to school with him. And I'm racking my brains.

I can't wait. And then eventually I worked and I gave a few names to my brother. And it took me 30 minutes. But then I worked out he was a family friend that was four years older that went to the same school

that I used to hang out with on the street. And I knew straight away who it was. And as soon as I clocked out, I said, oh, it's him. And I went and said his name. Did you go back up to him? No, because it was like, I as i clocked i said oh it's him and i won't say did you go back up to him no because it was like i can't go as far as he's concerned it would be insane it's me coming up it's me at the end of this conversation going you're josh widdick wouldn't you that's how awkward it would have been

so i'm sorry if i if bromley soft plan sat, I know it was you. It just took me a little time to work it out. Because I was thinking about kids in my year at school, not brothers of the kids. Because if I'd clocked it early on, it would have been fine because I know him really well. I know his mum. I know we've got loads of mutual friends. I'm like, how's your bubba, bubba.

My mum used to go on holiday with his mum. We had all this chat. And was he right to be confused that you didn't know he'd been with his wife for 15 years yeah i think that was because i didn't the kid the bloke that tony jameson's is the name i've invented i sort of knew him at school but we weren't mates and i he was a few years older so i didn't really know who he'd yes that was a tough one that was a tough one because i automatically think my year at school and because he sort of mentioned school and all that it was like ah so I felt bad but um yeah so if you're listening mate sorry it just I was too early and it took me too long but just you know yeah it was tough anyway if you want to go and

see Rob on tour tickets available please come uh Tom Aspinall here's Tom Aspinall everyone welcome to the podcast the UFC heavyweight interim champion and more importantly father Tom Aspinall welcome Tom thank you thanks for having me I appreciate it no no we've been trying to do for ages but then you went to New York and won a title and then been busy and scheduled but we finally got you so we're very happy to have you here it's gonna be a bit of a different one to your normal sporting interviews Tom chatting about the family good good good i'm sick of the same questions to be honest so cool first question um when are you gonna fight john jones um how how many kids you got tom i got three kids three kids and what ages? My oldest one is seven, and I've got four-year-old twins. Oh, my God.

Let me tell you, that's a different experience, let me tell you. Yeah. Some people, when I say I've got twins, they're like, oh, I'd love twins. I'm like, I don't know if you would, you know. They're hard work. They're pretty hard work. Because that's the thing, think people go if i just had

twins i get it all done and they've got our siblings i've got two and it's all but to what is it just it's just two of them isn't it it's literally just double the asshole yeah i mean it's getting it's definitely getting easier now they're at school and stuff um but hey honestly i say it all the time i think like the first year of their lives i was like i can hardly even remember it you know honestly like i feel like i was just in fight or flight mode constantly it was it was just a blur of crying being up all night just all the stressful stuff that goes with a baby times two how do you get them to sleep at the same time with great difficulty when you had your first first kid so what stage of your career

was you at then because what's weird with fighters is you're either at home all the time 24 hours a day or you're not there at all for like three or four months so what what what stage was it with the twins and your eldest so it was it's a little bit difficult because when i had my first sorry even when i had my twins, my three kids, I was still like working like a regular job. Right. The jobs that I worked,

they were always like to fund kind of the dream of being a full-time MMA fighter and making money from that. So I wouldn't say I got a lot of hate because I didn't, but a few people were like, right, you're going to have to stop this MMA stuff now and get an actual job oh really oh wow three children and uh you know you need to start kind of looking after your family a little bit rather than just living on this dream that you're gonna make money out of mma and uh they were wrong but that feels good now did it yeah it feels pretty good now yeah Yeah, it feels pretty good.

I kind of had to make it work at that point. I think if I didn't have the kids, I think I probably would have lent more into, like, getting an oral job and trying to make money and buy a house and do all the rest of it. Like, I think that the fact that I had the three kids and I had absolutely no money, I was like, right, I need to make this work now because yeah um i weren't really interested in doing anything else to be honest like i knew that i could i knew that i was pretty good and i knew

that i could make money out of it if i if i stuck at it so it was just kind of a matter of time type thing and what what were what were your jobs at that time oh mate they were just all stuff to fund um my fight really like i used to work on the doors i was like the worst doorman ever i did a bit of like i did a bit of like personal training did a bit of cleaning jobs and stuff like that like anything just to fund just to put fuel in my car to get to the gym and back basically and pay my rent yeah because you got you got really close relationship with your dad because i think a friend of a friend gave him my number to get you on some like podcasts and raise your profile and things like that this was before you won the title as well but he was so like my son he was like it was like it was almost like talking to some sort of cult leader you know when someone's trying to sell you like something like and get you involved

in a skate i was like yeah i know tom he's brilliant in the but but he's so his passion and his belief in you is unbelievable. Does that rub off on you then? Is that where you think you get your self-confidence from? Oh, absolutely. Like I always say that he kind of believed in me before I believed in myself kind of thing. So, yeah, I think it was, you know, I think a lot of people,

especially in the UK, I think in America it's a little bit different, but I think in the UK a lot of people like uh you know if you start talking early about right this is what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go and be a world champion for example people are just a bit like ah well maybe you should be a bit more realistic about it and maybe you should set your sights a little bit lower and you should get a normal job first and then see how it goes like my dad was never like that he was like listen if you want to be a world champion let's go and do Like, let's start making plans on that. And I'm extremely lucky that I've got him in my life.

Like, if it weren't for my dad, I would be nowhere close to where I am right now. And how do your kids fit into your training and life now? How does it work in terms of, like, if you're at home, are you doing lots of parenting and then you're away for periods? It's like... Yeah, as a professional, like, as a professional fighter, we're not that busy really. Like I'm training kind of four hours a day, five hours a day.

It's not that much. And then when you're in camp though, do you take yourself away completely? Are you not there at all or are you still at home? No, I'm still there. I'm still at home. Oh, really? Obviously, I do go away to do bits of sparring and stuff, but predominantly I train in England. So I do bits where I go to Holland to spar.

I've been to a few other places to spar, but mainly I'm at home and just be, yeah, when I'm not at the gym, I'm gasped. You know what I mean? I do the school run most days. I still like, for example, my kids have started training in martial arts now, so i take

them to the gym for their training now and yeah i just i just live it normally i don't there's no special treatment for me if anything i feel like i've got it easier than people who work for a normal yeah yeah talk to me more about your kids getting into martial arts like what's that like for you well it's quite new for them actually um it's it's never like i don't want my kids to be professional fighters really unless unless they really really want to um i think they're really really good no one wants their kid to be a professional fighter when they're like mid-level to the you know journeyman no yeah i'll just ban them i'll ban them from everything if they're just average no they're uh they've all it's pretty new they've only really

just started but they all they've only started because they want to do you know what i mean i didn't put i didn't push them into it um i never have any plans of pushing them into it if they don't want to go and train i won't take them simple as that your dad is a trainer as well so it's in the family so like if they go and see granddad he's at the gym he trains uh people in jiu-jitsu and things like that, doesn't he? So it's like, it's going to happen naturally, you know, within the family. It's just rubbed off on them.

A few months ago, my oldest kid was like, oh, can I go and start training? You know, he's got a few friends. Because I take him down the gym anyway when he's off school. He's like got a few friends of other guys in the gym whose kids are there as well. So, you know, he wants to go and spend time with his friends at the gym and train as well and then then the younger ones get on board they see their older brother doing it so they want to go and yeah it's just

turned into this whole thing of um this is what they like doing apparently is it three boys you've got yeah three boys all three boys and um isn't one of them like an expert your rubik's cube or something yeah he's he's unreal yeah he's real is that the kid you've spoken before about you have got one of your children's autistic no it's not i get asked that quite a lot actually with uh everyone's like oh i see i see you uh put the video on is that the autistic one i'm like no i don't i don't you're just amazing at rubik's cube and i don't I don't know

where that's from either you know he just he just started watching like YouTube videos as kids do and then

got him a Rubik's Cube because he asked for one and then he figured out how to do it and then next minute he's like absolutely rapping on it next minute

he's like going into competitions he goes into like open age competitions and he's seven wow really he's like unreal

wow he's absolutely unreal so what what's he what timing what how long does it take to do a rubik's cube if you're as good as he is you can do it in under 20 seconds no wow well i'm properly mixed up not just like one red around the corner for 10 minutes i'm like that you know just pick it up and just solve it then quick it's. It's madness. Oh, wow. Is there money in that? I don't actually know. That is something I should be looking into, really. I don't know. I'm not sure. I think the YouTube channels and stuff that they have,

I think they're quite big. So, obviously there is money to be made off YouTube. I don't think there's a professional gaming thing. I'm not sure. Maybe there is. I don't know. How many hours a day is he doing on the Rubik's Cube then? Quite a bit.

Yeah, quite a bit. I'd say like two or three hours at least. Wow. Unbelievable. That's an incredible skill, isn't it? And could you do one? I couldn't do one if I had all day. Absolutely no chance.

If someone, I mean, he's trying to show me playtime. If someone said, right, you've got a day to do that, I'll give you a million quid, go for it. I wouldn't do it. There's no chance I'd do it. No idea. And you say one of your other sons has got autism as well? Yes, yeah, yeah, one of my twins does.

And how does that manifest? Do you have to change the way the way you're, you know, the stuff you do as a family or schooling and stuff like that? Is it challenging in that regard or is it just, he fits in with everyone pretty well? He's actually doing really good. Like he started at a mainstream school and stuff. Obviously he's only just started.

So, cause we're only in like February now. So he's only been in like, what is it? Five, six months probably. And he's doing good. Like some things are tricky. like he gets overwhelmed in crowds and stuff like that. And some things definitely you have to... Oh, just take him to one of Josh's gigs and you'll be fine.

Loads of space, he can stretch. It's too easy. It's doing all right. It's a tricky thing to navigate through. It's massive. It's such a massive spectrum. And there's so many different kind of... It presents itself in so many different ways. Just learning, still learning about it, obviously.

He's only four years old. He's got a whole life ahead of him. So I'm sure it's something that... It's something that I'm trying to learn more about every day. Yeah, of course. And what made you kind of think that he might have autism and like go and get him tested i suppose is it i don't know how it works yeah yeah yeah so um they were like born just before the pandemic so as kind of they start to hit like milestones or stuff

like oh they should be like walking at this age they should be doing this at this age start speaking blah blah, blah. We just started noticing, like, when he was around two-ish, I guess, that he wasn't really saying much, he wasn't really interacting much. And then we thought, oh, maybe it's just because of lockdowns and stuff, like, his whole life he's been, like, stuck inside, and then we're Googling it as you do, and then it's like, oh, twins progress a lot slower because of the shared attention and all that kind of stuff.

To be honest with you, I was kind of in denial with it for quite some time. I was like, excuses for him. Oh, the lockdowns are happening. He's never really been out the house and been around people. So, you know, he's obviously going to be slower, blah, blah, blah. And funny enough, we watched a Paddy McGuinness documentary. Oh, I watched that. Yeah. Paddy McGuinness documentary. Oh, I watched that.

Yeah. Paddy McGuinness has three autistic children. He was talking a lot about autism and the way it kind of presents itself, manifests itself and stuff like that. And there was a lot of things that we kind of picked up on and was like, oh, well, our kid does that. Our kid does this. Our kid does this our kid does this and this and anyway funny enough i was on a show with paddy mcginnis like a few literally a

few weeks after like just coincidentally i was on a i was on a show with him and i was chatting to him about it and he was like mate you need to try and get a diagnosis as quick as possible because every autistic person is different. And once they can kind of see what needs your kid has got, they can kind of personalise it for the needs he's got. So I was like, right, okay, what do I do with that then? Because we'd already tried to get him diagnosed on the NHS, and luckily I'm in a financial spot where i could pay for private and yeah i didn't give her the details took him to this private place and she basically

said straight away yep he's got autism diagnosed him and started giving us stuff to do to kind of help him with his uh with his life really moving forward oh brilliant and when she diagnosed him was that a relief or were you like scared of what would happen or how did that feel um obviously as a dad you don't want there to be anything kind of wrong with your child like you don't you that's for me that's like the scariest thing in the world he's being there's something wrong with your kid but by that point we've been through so much kind of searching for what's going on and guessing that it was a little bit of a relief to be like right this is because it was

kind of like that was kind of the start of the solution if you like i mean an autistic person think differently they're diverse to the way we think they're completely different but just to help him do you know what i mean it's just some yeah of course there's something to work towards rather than just being stuck and just guessing what's wrong and trying to provide my own solution and our own solution because ultimately we don't don't really know anything about the subject we're just guessing yeah it was nice try that yeah it was nice to kind of you know have a little bit direction or something to work towards rather than just guessing yeah that's great so you had three kids a little bit of direction and something to work towards rather than just guessing. Yeah, that's great.

So you had three kids under the age of three at the start of lockdown? Yes, mate, yes. No wonder you go and fight people and don't care. That's harder than anything. That was great, that was definitely awesome. Have you sort of blocked that out of your mind is there things that come back to you of things you ended up sometimes i do do stuff oh god we did that in lockdown when it was bleak you know what i mean but it's it was impossible i think you're back now it was like a really bad time

yeah i'm glad that's behind us anyway well especially for you as well you'll have like the pressure of like you never know when fighting's coming back ufc actually came back pretty quick but not loads of events like normal and stuff like that and that's your where you earn your money so that's a lot you're under a lot of pressure really tough because at the time i just got in the ufc but i i hadn't fought yet like i hadn't made my debut actually the show that I was supposed to make my debut on was UFC London Leon Edwards versus Tyron Woodley

and that was the first event at least in the MMA world that got cancelled because of Covid it was like the week before so I did a full training camp and then the week before it got cancelled I was like oh my god when are we going to fight

what's going on can't train can't go to the gym and that would have been a big payday for you as well like compared to what you've been paid previously it was the biggest money

that I've ever got paid in my life at the time and then that's just gone in an instant and you've got three kids at home you couldn't furlough it I was trying to furlough it but I can't really remember

what happened at the time rig up Dana White for some furlough it but I can't really remember what happened at the time rig up Dana White for some furlough it definitely wasn't the best it was a crazy couple of years that was since the pandemic though your career has gone like stratospheric and I think for the people that aren't fully into UFC

I don't know if Joshua and I know this but the main event of that fight in New York that I went to see because I thought I was going to be watching Miocic and John Jones got cancelled and then tom got drafted in with two weeks notice which is unheard of and almost impossible in fight sports to come in and do a job and then he beat the guy very convincingly very quickly with a big ko and became the champion so like that turnaround of you couldn't your debut, losing all that money, three kids under three.

And in the space of three years, you've you're at the top. Now, how does that not mess of your mind? Because you, like you say, you weren't earning that much money. It was money was tight.

People are telling you to give it up. How do you not become sort of this big arrogant? I am giving it the large one. Cause that's what happened to Rob. Yeah, that's what happens to me. And I'm trying to bring myself back from it. When he got the Radio 2 gig, he hasn't got it down.

To be honest, I don't know. I feel like money and all that stuff, like fame and stuff, like that kind of shows you true colours, I think. If you're an idiot, you're definitely going to be more of an idiot when you've got fame and money like that that kind of shows you true colors i think if you're an idiot you're definitely going to be more of an idiot when you've got fatal money yeah and the same kind of the other

way like i don't know i i just live this honestly i basically live the same as i do um i mean my life's a lot a lot better now because i'm financially secure than it than it was before um got a lot more time but you're still doing this in your box room in your house if a lot of boxes around exactly on patchy wi-fi there's no uh i'm not living some like mad lifestyle do you know what i mean i just live exactly the same mate the sport my sport in particular brings you back down to earth pretty quick just for example speaking to you here now, an hour or so ago, I was getting

squashed by a massive Russian guy. So was Josh, but he pays for that in solo. Yeah, I've changed. I have changed actually. Money's helped me in that sense. Yeah, so my sport is it will humble you do you know what I mean

if you're not if you're going to start running around and acting like like if I'm living this like lavish lifestyle I'm cruising about on yachts and drinking all the time

like I'm going to turn up to the gym on Monday and get absolutely pummeled by somebody who's not down there so I don't want that to happen

do your kids watch your fights do they watch it because it's quite it's like even a bit more violent and brutal than boxing in some regards with some of the you know, some of the cuts and the

ground and pound and stuff like that. Do the kids watch you? Yeah, they do. They do, but they're not bothered. Like, I think they're just they're used to it, I guess. I guess for them, as long as they can remember, like, Dad's fighting on TV, and that's the way it is.

You know what I mean? It's nothing. I think now my oldest one especially, because his mates at school, they think I'm like, they think I'm pretty cool. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, you are the hardest man in the world, arguably.

There's a couple you could argue against, but it's not like in boxing. Like, MMA, like, you know, people talk about Andy Joshua and Fury, but if you had a street fight with them, you're wiping the floor with them. So when it comes to the who's got the hardest dad in the school, you've absolutely, it's not even close. He's at that age now where, like, you know what else?

He's like the older kids in the school. Obviously, when you're, like, younger in school, you know what else is like the older kids in the school obviously when you're like younger in school you kind of look up to the older kids and you think they're cool and then the older kids they think like I'm cool so he's like I think he loves it now

yeah and do you get any fans at the pick up like when you go to pick up are kids trying to talk to you? Yeah, yeah, they do. They do. I don't mind it. It's pretty cool. I like it.

I like it. Have you ever been in a situation where you thought, I need to stand up for my kid here with another parent? He's been slagging off my son's Rubik's Cube, and I need to... No, I've been all right so far with that, to be honest. I've been all right in that regard. All pretty peaceful so far, but it's going to come one day.

If I was teaching your kid, I'd be giving him very high marks. There's no way I'd be taking you on at parents' evening. Well, you're a very sort of relaxed and friendly guy. You know, some fighters just think, you know, that their whole persona is this aggressive, like, sort of monster. So when, I always wanted to sort of ask this, like when you're in the octagon and it's like getting like, you're really up against it and, you know, this guy you're fighting

just won't go down. I mean, you've nearly knocked everyone out, you've fought so far, so you've actually got to this point yet. But when you're really under the cosh, are you sort of just very focused and a professional going, I need to do this, I need to do that. He keeps going with that jab, so I've got to move that. Do at any point you engage this like next level of I've got to do this for my kids?

Because I find even if someone's mean to my kids, I get to an extra level of anger and frustration that you just want to rip someone's head off if they're mean about my kids and stuff like that. Do you ever go into that place in order to give you that extra? Or is it such a high level of combat that that sort of anger doesn't help? You need control. Because it's erratic, yeah. Do you know, when I fight, I like to be, like, ice cold emotionally. That's the only way I can describe it.

It's like I'm detached emotionally from everything else, apart from what I'm doing right there. So I think emotion is a bad thing, to be honest. I think it just works against you because there's definitely been times in fights when I've been emotional and I've thought of stuff like that. It's just not a place for emotion in the octagon, to be honest with you.

It's just going to work against you. And if you, like, force a technique and do it with emotion behind it, you're probably overdoing it and you're going to be pretty knackered if it doesn't work. Like, you're going to be pretty exhausted after. And that's my experience from it, at least. Maybe some people might say otherwise, but from my experience, like, if you're forcing something and doing it with emotion if it doesn't come off on the other side of that is you being pretty emotionally drained

and also physically exhausted so i i just try and be as calm as i can and to be honest and when's the last time on a fight day when's the last time you'll be in contact with your kids? Because, like, I'll be doing a live TV show and my wife will FaceTime me five minutes before to say that my son won't go to sleep. And I think, this is not what I need. Presumably, you're not in the dressing room getting a FaceTime about... Yeah, and I'll tell you, Tom's under a bit more pressure.

A dummy! Do you know where the dummies are? You've got to get your head in the game to sit and laugh at Adam and Alex's jokes they've prepared all week. It depends. It depends where I'm fighting, first of all, because often I'm on a time difference. Do you know what I mean?

Last fight was in New York, so we're like six, seven hours different on time. But usually like the morning of, like the morning will be enough like I'm extra extra sensitive on fight day extra sensitive

and if someone like you say rings me up and start asking where the dummy is or where's the remote or so you know

if someone starts telling me they love me too much or whatever I'll start crying mate I don't need that I like to be emotionally detached from everything so it's

just like right good luck yep thank you okay i'll speak to you after it bye that's the way so how how do you become emotionally detached you sort of just just block out that that world exists that tom aspinall the family man the husband at this point doesn't exist and it is just tom the fighter is that how is that how you do like so it's not that you can keep a lid on it you just sort of have to completely block it out almost it's just yeah that that side of me is just gone when i'm fighting simple as that like i'm there to do a job my job is to win the fight and i can't take into consideration anything else like i all i think about is like there's so many like variables when you're fighting that when you're incredibly scared and nervous, like you do get before a fight, these small things can manifest

themselves and become massive. For example, Donald Trump was in attendance for my last fight. Yes, I was there. It was mental when he came out, that noise. And I missed him coming out purposely. Because we have the TVs, you see, in the changing rooms. Yeah. And the TV's showing what's actually going on at the event.

And I knew there was this big song and dance going on that Donald Trump's arriving. And I purposely turned it off. Like, that has to be left to the side. And, oh, my God, there's 25,000 people here to see what happens. And there's millions watching around the world. Like, that's got to be left somewhere else mentally. Yeah.

So is that why you ignore my messages tom because you're focusing yeah cool just let me check it because you don't want to be overwhelmed by starry star state again perfect cool just i just remember that did you hear the cheers when rob entered the arena did you hear that i thought i seen a couple of tumbleweeds go past well yeah because i suppose you don't want to be distracted like because it was when i was in there watching the fire and donald trump come out with kid rock to american badass and it was just so overwhelmingly mad and crazy i was like what is going on here the crowd go mad but you can't if you've got to be lasered in you can't have any distractions like that you know you've got to just

be focused on what you're doing i suppose it's like you know that's the thing in life as well is if you've got to get something done you've got to get your job done you have to detach yourself from it so you can focus or otherwise you're too there's too much going on in your head yeah exactly and for me like the phone goes off nothing else like i'm not speaking to anybody who's not like in my kind of immediate team like none nothing else really matters apart from me and my opponent. That's all I'm thinking of. You do have to detach yourself from all that stuff because, as I say, when you're super emotional like that, you're super scared,

you're super nervous, that stuff just starts to – for me personally, I'm not speaking to everyone, I'm speaking for me myself, but that stuff just becomes massive in your mind. Like, if I see who's watching my fight, and obviously there's celebrities there, there's other fighters there, they, like, stick them in the front row and put the camera on them. Like, I don't want to know

that my favourite fighter is sat front row watching my fight. Like, that's going to put a lot of pressure on me, man. Like, I don't want to see it. I want to forget about that. I'm forgetting about it. I'm forgetting about the fact that, bloody, put a lot of pressure on you. Like, I don't want to see it. I want to forget about that. I'm forgetting about it. I'm forgetting about the fact that, buddy, such a body's travelled from Australia and they're here front row watching me, one of my best mates or whatever.

Whatever, like, all that stuff can't exist when I'm fighting. It's just me and my opponent and nothing else. And afterwards, how quickly are you back in the real world, so to speak? Like, when's the phone going back on? Oh, straight after well you ended up in time square in the like with your dad to have a photo with the bell you'd won and it was dead it was empty it was five in the morning or something like that you'd

been out celebrating because the fight started late as well because it was on west coast time so what's it like i know you're trying to attach emotionally but your dad you know your family are in your corner and he's your trainer and he's with you every step of the way so how is that is that ever sort of soured your son and father relationship the sort of trainer and fighter or is it always worked well we've had plenty arguments over the years about it all loads loads loads but i think now we're in a really good spot with everything like i think that i mean most of it was like training situations and stuff all to do with training that i'm not training right and that i need to train with this guy and that guy and blah blah blah he just wants the best with me that that he can and i've not always

been as ruthless as i should have been when it comes to training situations and stuff like that like this should have been i should have always put myself first really and sometimes i didn't always do that and now i do so it's great like i listen to my dad every step now like i'm really lucky like i'm 30 years old now and i'm pretty aware that this isn't going to last forever so i try and enjoy like yeah i mean i'm not all for heavyweight i've still i reckon I've still got another, like, at least six or seven years left in me, easy. But that's only six or seven years of, hopefully, what's going to be a long and happy life, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, of course. When it's done, it's done, and there's no going back. So, yeah, I try and cherish it every moment that, like, me and my dad are together in that regard. What about Sunday lunch, then? Do you have a, like, an out-of- of office where you're sitting down with all the family having a bit of sunday lunch he goes well i've been thinking about your boxing you've got to be doing is there or is it constantly chatting about christmas day some hand wraps come on mate

get me a proper present the thing is mate like martial arts is like embedded deeply in my family right everyone's into it mate from like brother cousins kids everybody everybody so

it's always like a hot topic do you know what I mean like it's not I suppose if there's been a fight on that night you're naturally

going to be talking about the other fighters there's no there's no off off moments of fighting do you know what I mean

like even even like recently it was at my granddad's funeral talking about fighting do you know what I mean? Even recently, it was at my granddad's funeral talking about fighting, do you know what I mean? It's like constantly. It's just embedded in the family. And do you think you could train your son and be in the corner as he fights? No, no, no, no, no. I'd be an absolute nervous wreck.

No way. Absolutely no chance. So how do you think your dad can do it then? I don't know. I'm not sure. I ask him all the time. I ask him all the time. I chance. So how do you think your dad can do it then? I don't know. I'm not sure. I ask him all the time. I ask him all the time. I'm like, how can you do this?

And he's like, I don't know. I've just got, I just can't. He doesn't really give an answer. He's just like, yeah, it's easy. But no way I can do it. I can hardly even watch him train sometimes. Sometimes, like, obviously they're not, like, punching one another in the face at like

seven years old they're doing like they're doing like a bit of grappling where there's obviously the rule set's limited like you can't be

bloody choking each other when you're like seven years old like but even some of the positions that they get each other in sometimes like one of them will be on

like stacked up on his neck and then I'm like oh I can't watch I can't even watch him like roll around with each other so there's no, I can't watch. I can't even watch them roll around with each other. So there's no chance I could actually watch him properly fight. How about their mum?

Does their mum watch? How does she feel about him training martial arts? Well, she trains martial arts. Fair enough. There's no escape. She took him last night, actually, for the first time. It's usually me who takes him. But I had a bit on yesterday

like I was pretty tired I said oh do you mind taking the kids and she's like yeah I'll take them she loved it she loved watching them first time she's been

really yeah have you been to any of the Rubik's Cube competitions yes and is that nerve wracking er

not particularly I want my kids to do good obviously like yeah I don't want him to lose because he'll be upset if he loses yeah not particularly I want my kid to do good obviously I don't want him to lose because he'll be upset if he loses I mean he's not really going to get hurt talk us through

talk us through a Rubik's Cube competition you're driving to a leisure centre in the middle of nowhere and it's just loads of tables I don't think it needs sports facilities, does it, Rob? I just don't know how it works. He's only done a couple, to be fair. It can't be a long day if it takes 20 seconds to do it, can it?

It takes forever, you know. They do, like, different categories, don't they? So they'll have, like, a three-by-three Rubik's Cube, which is just a standard, and then they have, like, what's called a Pyram pyramix which is like a triangle long then they have all different types of them so they compete in all different categories right and there's loads of them there's like 100 people competing in each there's a netflix documentary there's a really good net have you seen this documentary about um speed speed cubers i think

it's called or something like yeah it's fucking brilliant and like there's this guy that's like the world champion and then he loses to his protege and it's i've ruined it but like um it's so good they're just like obviously it's like any obsession isn't it they just fucking love it so what the other the other parents like that because i can't imagine your normal rubix cuba is the son of the UFC heavyweight champion of the world and he's from a family of martial artists. Well, I struggle sometimes. I'm really looking forward to how you politically describe the other parents. No, I struggle sometimes, sometimes with like going to public places because I don't know like if I'm going to walk into a bar for example

most of the people in the bar are between the ages of like 18 and 35 for example lads and predominantly a lot of 18 to 35 year olds

watch the UFC yeah that's a bad that's a bad one for your bar isn't it yeah yeah so I'm like oh shit I'm going to like

just be absolutely bombarded here with questions, pictures and all that. It's hard for me to relax. So sometimes when I go into a public place, I'm trying to gauge,

are these UFC fans? Or how much do I need to have my gala beer before someone, you know what I mean? That's the way I feel because I'm still really new to all this stuff. And also what's weird is there's people that are obsessed

with you and you are god and ufc's their thing and there'll be people like my you know my cousin that doesn't know anything about it wouldn't know who you are so it's like it's either not much or they're obsessed with you and you are the best you know it is very strange because i've had people um like i've had a couple of people cry when they meet me, which is very odd. It's very odd. Yes. It's a very weird experience. And then I've literally had someone else being like, stood next to him being like, who is that?

I've no idea who it is. So I'm like, I'm not going to start explaining who I am. But anyway, back to the Rubik's Cube. When I enter a Rubik's Cube room of hundreds of people, I'm absolutely safe. No one's got any idea who I am. You wear your belt, don't you? You walk in with your belt going, come on, guys.

Belt and hot pants, just so they know. Eight-ounce gloves on. And so is there a chance he'll go internationally and do stuff? guys. Belt and hot pants, just so they know. Eight ounce gloves on. And so, is there a chance he'll go internationally and do stuff? I don't know, to be honest.

I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know how it works, to be honest. We're still pretty new to it. We've only done a few conversations so far.

He's got one coming up soon, actually. So, we'll see, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. So, you can relax at the Rubik's events, then? You can chill out So you can relax at the Rubik's events then? You can chill out a bit? I'm chilling at the Rubik's

events, yeah I've absolutely got no issue with someone coming up and having a picture and having a chat at all, I'm not saying that but I'm saying when it loads at the same time it does overwhelm me like I'm lying to say otherwise because as you said a few years ago

no one had any idea or us like nobody yeah yeah and now it's like you know like say if i go into a bar the whole friggin bar comes over and wants to like grab grab me spit in my ear talking to me in a loud room oh god yeah all the old coke top idiots screaming at you talking about when they used to fight most 99.5 of it is really really positive and i really appreciate it but when it's multiple people at the same time it does get a bit overwhelming at times and um final question on the rubix um have you have you passed on stuff like about emotion it's like are you like is there like overlaps of skill mental skills that you can pass on about competing that you have just on

no he's not even bothered me he's not even bothered about me it's just like I try to do any advice he's just like well you don't know anything about Rubik's Cube so he's unreal he's had like I'll have to sending some videos over, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Oh, if you've got a video we could put on our social media, that'd be great. We could show everyone. I'll send you one over.

Brilliant. And maybe it's too young to ask this, but do you know that thing that they say about twins having a telepathy and knowing things about each other? Have you seen any do you know what i mean they yeah i've seen i think i i've not seen any of it you know what i did used to get which you did used to freak me out when they were babies like if one of them got hiccups the other one would get hiccups straight away it'd be well weird really it'd be very odd

and stuff like that like if one would wake up in the night it could be in separate rooms the other one would wake up at the same time stuff like that like that that'd be weird but since

since them being really small I've not really seen much of it to be honest but now that you ask like that did remind me that that did used to happen a lot is like

one would cough and before they were like old enough to realise oh I can copy each other like when I was talking about when they're really small like a few months old like the other one would start coughing Before, they were old enough to realise, oh, I can copy each other. I was talking about when they're really small,

like a few months old. The other one would start coughing and stuff like that, or hiccuping, it'd be weird. Nice, mad. I didn't know that happened. Do you know about that twin telepathy? And then before you know it, they'll be on the other side of the world and they'll be, you know, whatever.

Coughing. Coughing, yeah. Are you coughing as well yeah it was locked down to be fair it was coded so it might have been that yeah are they in the same room what sleeping in the same room yeah yeah they are yeah and is that tough then or is that all right well to be honest it's still uh sometimes they still wake up at nights and stuff and like for example last there's either last night or the night before one of them came in our bed and i'm like oh right you're going back put it put him back in bed and then he like starts crying and starts waking the other one up

stuff like that yeah that's the killer oh shut up just shut up you know what i mean like how about you take that rubik's cube copy your older brother um uh tommy we're asking a final question we ask everyone this um what's the uh one thing that you're what are you married to Take that Rubik's Cube. Copy your older brother. Tommy, we'll ask you the final question. We ask everyone this. What's the one thing that your... Are you married? Is it wife or partner? Yeah, I've got a wife.

What? Wife. You're married. What's the one thing your wife does, parenting-wise, when you go, you're unbelievable, I'm so lucky to have kids with you? And then what's the one thing she does

that drives you a bit mad? And if you mentioned it on here and she were to listen, she might go, yeah, you got a fair point there, Tom. That must you a bit mad and if you mentioned it on here and she were to listen she might go yeah you got a fair point there tom that that must be a bit annoying there's some points like because she she like breastfed all three of our kids even the twins wow and i just can't believe that is possible yeah are you suggesting she was lying once there like that yeah yeah for it like for ages well though not like a couple of days I was talking like to you know I don't know like that could

tell you in most but like at least six months you know me yeah a lot that is some mental strength just to be able to do that in It might wake up all the time. Day and night. They're just like two kids are just like attached to you. It's wild. So yeah, that's definitely something that I was like, wow,

this is something that I could definitely couldn't do. And as far as on the other hand, I don't know. Like we always, so the way that we worked it is she fed the kids. I always love this bit when everyone runs through the ones they, can I say this in public? How annoyed do I want to make her?

She fed the kids through the night, right? Yeah. And then she would always have a lion like in the mornings, get up at like nine-ish, ten-ish. Yeah. And that was great. Like at the time, awesome. Like fair Yeah. And that was great at the time. Awesome.

Fair play. Now, she still does that. Even though she's not feeding him at night anymore. So now I'm a bit like, well, I'm up here from seven and you're still in bed at nine on a weekend. I'm like, she's going to be both of us up. Do you know what I mean? She's repaying me. She's repaying me she's repaying me

so I've got to accept it I've got to I wasn't breastfeeding at any point fair play she's still in due she's still in credit after all that breastfeeding

and the early and late nights Tom it's absolutely been amazing thanks so much I know you're a busy man absolutely good luck with the next fight

I'll be there and yeah thanks for being on mate I never realised how interested we were in with the next fight. I'll be there. And yeah, thanks for being on, mate. I never realised how interested we were in Rubik's Cubes. I'll send you the video. You might even be more interested

when you see the video. It's incredible. I can't wait. Can't wait. Cheers, Tom. Cheers, mate. Cheers, bye. Cheers.

Tom Aspinall, what a lovely bloke. Oh, he's a lovely guy and he's so good at UFC or MMA. He's unbelievable. I'm going to order a Rubik's Cube Rob go and watch

some Tom Aspinall highlights he is an absolute fucking killer but he's so composed and talented at mixed martial arts he's not like just an animal bruiser

no he's not he's a lovely bloke no but I'm saying when he fights he's just so massive and hard he's 6 foot 4 absolute beast

I'm glad he's on Zoom the Rubik's Cube stuff was amazing what a lovely bloke yeah good guy you've got to go and do something yeah I've got to go

see you later mate bye bye