Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP31: Why Have You Done That?

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Me, say Rob Beckett. Beckett.

Rob Beckett. Beckett. Okay, now say Josh Willigaker. Josh Whittaker. Very well done, Indy. Very good. Right, mad accent. You can also say it in Dutch. In English, Rob Beckett.

Rob Beckett. But Josh Whittaker. Josh Whittaker. Well done. Well done, honey. Oh, so that's some Afrikaans at the end? I don't know. No! It's Dutch, so that is quite similar to South African.

Yes. It is, isn't it? Just you, like, a bit of Afrikaans at the end. You have no idea what he said. No, I just... When you said South African, I was like, he is South African, and then he did... Dutch does sound like Afrikaans. Dutch and South African. I think there's something going South African. And then he did. He was Dutch does sound like African. Dutch and South African. I think there's something going on with the Dutch in South Africa, which

means their accents similar, I think. Yeah, I don't really want to wade into that. I'm Googling it. I'm a quarter South African. Did you know that Rob? Do you know I've got a vibe? There we go. It actually was spot on. Afrikaners are a southern African ethnic group descended from predominantly Dutch settlers first arriving at the Cape of Good Hope in 1652. Until 1994, they dominated South Africa's politics as well as the African cultural settler. What happened in 94? Then Oasis released an album and it all changed.

Yeah, it was a great decade. This is our son Indy, 2.5 years old. His mother is English. I'm Dutch, so we are raising him to be bilingual. I'd love to have done that because kids, when they're really young, they can just do... Well, yours are half Devon and half civilized, aren't they? So you've got a bit of a,

you know what I mean? Yeah. They've still got that sort of Devonian charm of moaning about scones. Yeah. And you know, farming. But also they do know their way around sort of a smash burger. Yeah, exactly. We're avid listeners to the podcast regularly saying to each other, have you heard this bit is effing funny? That's nice. Thank you. He's been waking up at 5pm every day for two years. Surely they mean 5am. Surely. Put about that at seven. What a kid. But those two hours are full on. Better record that.

Indies got a lot of energy for those two hours. She's been working on 5pm every day for two years now. So thanks for helping us through that. Oh god. Rick Goverdy, Letchworth Garden City. Letchworth Garden City. What is a Garden City? I don't know because that, Welling Garden City as well. Yeah, that's the other one. My second Google of the day. What is a garden city? Garden city movement.

The garden city movement was a 20th century urban planning movement promoting satellite communities around central city. So it's sort of kind of nice green city outside of the main cities. Well, there we go. So there we go. It's sort of near a city. And near urban development. Yeah.

We're all learning. How are you Rob? Well, we had a little bit of, because we had Easter, we're all learning. How are you, Rob? Well, I thought we had a little bit of because we had Easter, we recorded a couple of episodes in advance so that we could have some family time. I've still forgot how I do it. It's sort of like the first time you have sex again after having a kid. Yeah, but we're pumping away. We're pumping away hoping for the best. You're right. You join us. It's okay. You're not going too hard at the start about the volumes. It's exactly how I like it.

Does require relief is fine. Yeah. Yeah. So I've got my Easter updates. You've got your Easter updates slightly mine today and you do yours the next one. Have a sip of your tea though. So you pick it up. Charge yourself up. Oh, I tell you what, that's why that is Rob. Oh, that's a horrible little sip.

You can't have got any liquid in. It wasn't enough. It's like cartoon dog eating a hot dog. There we go. Do you know what I'd much rather listen to your gulp than your gulp. Oh God. You're just trying to be polite that first sip, weren't you? Yeah. Do you know what Rob? On this chairs covered in honey, I've just realised. What? Sorry? I'm doing this from home because there was loads of roadworks and an accident near where my office is.

So I just thought I can't be bothered to stick in traffic. I grabbed a chair from the table to do it on and I can literally feel where my daughter's got honey on her hands and just wiped it on a Oh, it's like a perfect wipe on the side. So yeah, I just got distracted. Sorry, sorry. So Easter's long, isn't it? Fucking hell, Rob. Easter's long, isn't it? Fucking hell. Two weeks. Who knew? We had an inset day yesterday. We don't need that after two weeks, do you?

I just think. I wish they'd hold them at the start because you're less gutted. I'm not saying no inset days. Yeah. Well, I am saying no inset days, ideally. But if we're going to have inset days. What is it? Two questions. One, what's an inset?

And it was called like a Baker Day when I was a kid. Yes. Yes. A Baker Day. Yeah. Now it's an inset day. Sometimes a staff training day. Yeah. How can I say this carefully? Yeah, it's difficult. Both of us are, I'm treading on eggshells because we know what I'm going to say. I know we're going to pick up later on. I'm going to say it. I don't know. Teachers work hard, but surely they're getting their fucking days off. Surely enough to maybe in the middle of Easter, do a quick bit of fucking training, whatever is your day. What are you learning? You either can be a teacher, you can't and you've passed

your test. What's happening in that inset day? I'll tell you what's happening. Fuck all. It is slightly galling. Cake, coffee and a fucking PowerPoint with stuff on it they already know. So we had an inset day Rob. If you are a teacher though, let us know what you do on inset days and I'll apologize.

Can you take us through your inset days? Yeah, blow by blow, hour by hour. I imagine you're in at eight, left at six. Do you know what? I'd take them midterm more than I'd take them. I just think it's galling. If it was midterm and they went no Mondays this week, but you've had three in a row, fine.

Yeah. All right, I'll have this Monday. But after the holiday, to just push it one more is heartbreaking. Yeah, because I think as well in the middle of a term, and it's really busy and like the kids almost could do the lay in and a nothing day. Just go right out of your iPad, lay in bed all day. A nothing day. Yeah. Yeah, you got a three day weekend in the middle of term. We'll do our insetting then inset away to your heart's content. Yeah, inset and morning noon and night. You can insert as much as you fucking want on

that day. Google three. What's it insert? I've never heard inset use for anything else. Have you? No, why is it thing that is put in or inserted? Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. I regret Googling that. Ask Susie. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I regret re-googling that. Ask Suzy Dent. Don't ask Rachel Riley. She'll have some strong views on it. Incel Day? No, Inset. Inset.

It's all calmed down. So, Inset Day yesterday, Rob. Yep. We've both had our Easter. Rose has got loads to do. She's working, doing house stuff. I thought the house was done. We're finishing off Rob. Right. Okay.

We'll come to that. Snagging. Snagging. Yes, snagging. And I'm working. So is it in set day today? No, yesterday. Yesterday. All right. Okay. Yeah. So don't worry.

We've got childcare. Shell's in. Obviously 10 minutes after we she was meant to arrive. No sign. Right. Mix up. We haven't booked child care. Okay, so you didn't book child care? No. Because obviously she doesn't know it's an inset day. So our smugness over inset day. So what are you doing on inset? You were a niche weren't you? You're doing PR. I was in promo. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck me. I am promo'd

out Rob. Oh mate. I nearly after promoting my tour, draft tickets still available. They played him. After dressing up as a draft for the Brits. I just was like, I can't do that. I'm going to do all of this shit. Leave a weapon. I did smart TV promo. Yeah. And I'm not someone who doesn't think you should do promo because fucking hell, you've made these things and you want people to see them. I know. But it's such bollocks talking about it.

You just got I'm doing this thing. I've a watch it or don't. Well, that's what I do. I always try and derail the interview, be funny and tell them you're doing it. Yes. That's what they want. Yeah. And you find yourself telling the same anecdotes and that's bad when you're on your own. But when you're promoing with someone else and they're watching you tell the same anecdote or the same joke again. Anyway, I've done smart TV and then I did 53 minutes the podcast about football I did with Dara. Oh yeah. And now I'm doing hold the front page promo. I know how you am. Fucked. Hold the front page on sky next week. It's about local news, right? Where we go and work for local newspaper. So we did a junket of local radio. Oh, right.

Of course. I was going fucking mental by the end. Is that where you sit in a little booth in BBC and it's just constant? Nine in a row. And then we did another podcast. And I thought, Rob, genuinely. Yeah. Because I'd had two weeks of Easter. This day I was like- You took some time off to spend with the kids as well, didn't you? Yeah, I took the full time off to spend with the kids, except for in the middle when I did Last Leg and Blankety Blank. Someone's got to keep the wheels of industry turning, boy. Someone's got to get his economy going while soon acting sambas. Oh, fuck me. I've got five pairs of the fuckers.

And I bet he's got hush puppies like you as well. I don't wear hush puppies. Yes. A little sip from a massive cup. Little sip, massive cup. Honestly, I was sat in this next podcast that we were doing, but in basically the exact same room in a different building. Yep.

And I thought I'm gonna have a panic attack here. And there was so much adrenaline in my body because I'd come straight off this holiday, which was so intense. And then I'd done all these interviews. And also I was dealing with the fact that I'd basically, Rose's whole day had collapsed because she was now doing childcare.

So she can do the things she needed to do because she was with a kid. Yeah, she can do the things she needed to do. And fair enough, I was getting the odd text. And rightly so. Right. So yeah, she was obviously annoyed about it and then texted you about it. Really, what you need to do is just turn your phone off. No, no, because you've got to be supportive.

But you've got to focus on your job in hand. You haven't when you're talking to BBC Radio East Midlands, Rob. You can leave now. That was not Owen Shade on the East Midlands. Well, they didn't show up. So we were actually down to eight. Yeah, yeah. I was really stressed, Rob. I've got the extreme adrenaline going here. And then it translated into, I need a shit here. You had quite a stressful day. Off the back of... A busy couple of weeks, which we'll get into. It was so stressful, you needed to shit.

No, I thought we're going gonna have a panic attack here. And then you know when- But I don't think panic attacks manifest into shit. No, no, no, no. These were two separate things. Right, okay. So I was like doing my breathing and stuff, mid-podcast. But you don't want to relax too much in case the turtle head comes up? There was no chance of that.

No, okay. And then, because your body's coursing with adrenaline and churning up, you know when you're like nervous before something and you need nervous shit shit. Yeah. Yeah. But you're in a podcast. Okay. So what podcast was this? It's not fair to say Rob. No one wants to listen to something and think I need a shit during this. And I was going to have a panic attack. And then on top of this, I was felt like I was going to be late for my next gig. What Barron What was your next gig? Jason Vale I was doing a new material gig in the evening at 6pm. At 6pm. Right? And I hadn't written any of the stuff down. It was all ideas I'd had on holiday. And also Ramesh had dropped out. So I'd gone from 10 minutes to 30 minutes

on the bill. Will Barron I was with him yesterday day. Jason Vale You've got to be fucking kidding me. Will Barron I was filming with him. Jason Vale Did he ever mention that he was wanting to do a gig? No, I said he's doing a gig tonight. No, you talk about being stressed with too much to promo. That man. Yeah. He's on Radio 2 this weekend, right? He's doing a gig on the Friday night, then he's doing Radio 2 Saturday morning. I'm going in as a guest. Then he's going to Brighton to do a tour show. Then on Sunday, he's running the Marord. Fucking hell.

Fuck me. Imagine the amount of shit she'd be doing that. Oh my God. No wonder he looks so thin. I didn't even have time to go to the toilet before I got to the gig. Because I was like, so I'm in a car. I've got 27 minutes in the car. Yeah. Not driving.

Trying to write my set down. Yeah. Thinking I've got to go straight on stage here. Basically, I was just like so stressed, so stressed. I find it's really stressful when they're going back to school because the timetables change, the clubs change, summer uniform. My daughter, obviously, it's the day before school, so she's not wanting to go back to school. She loves school but every

start of the term is right off obviously. Get to the gig. I'm like I can't do this. Go on, do my half hour of which 10 is the bit I want to do. Do you know what I mean? To try out. The rest is Ramesh time. Right, for sure. Get home. Do the bedtimes. We've got into an insane lateness because of holidays. So what time do they go to bed? My daughter went down like 20 past 9. Yep. I think most kids are on that at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then have dinner. Have you had a shit yet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the gig. At the gig. Just before going on at the gig. Okay. Go to bed, Rob. Wake up late because of the kids waking up late. Yeah. Have to take the cat to get her kidneys flushed. Put the cat straight in a box. Drive her to one stead. Drive back. Five minutes before this podcast. Make a cup of tea and here I am. Here you are. Are the kidneys all flushed? Well they will be by the end of the day. Oh, right. So you get later on. Yeah. Sorry, That wasn't even my holiday. That was just my day. Fuck it all. Let me tell you through the holiday.

Yeah, why are you saying because normally people go on holiday to relax and come back with a new vigor and freshness and it feels like that's not happened. Well, I went on holiday with my kids. Yes. So you have a brilliant time. Yeah, but you come back shell-shocked basically. Yeah, you don't really get a rest. So when you're there, you're like, this is great. You don't think I'm really stressed at all. You're having a really good time, but there's no moment of you time. No, it is constant questions what we do.

And then I find when they're on holidays, they end up getting up the same time as you and going to bed the same time as you. Yeah, exactly. 24 7. Exactly. So it's 24 7, mate. It's 24 7. You stayed in the UK for Easter and you didn't have the best weather. So Rose has done the house up in Cornwall.

She's doing it up. If you want to follow it, at Penrose House on Instagram. She's done an incredible job. She was doing stuff while we were there as well. Right. So there was gardeners and we were there as well. Right. So there was gardeners and there was a builder putting stuff up. So it wasn't full relaxing, you were still doing house stuff.

Well, no, no, I'll be honest with you. Yeah. I felt at times like we were slightly getting in the way of Rose and the Builder. Not in that sense. Yeah. Not in that sense, Rob. Come on. I'm not saying anything. There was like five gardeners so I was making tea for the gardeners.

Right, yep. I was making tea for the builder. You're mainly looking after the kids then because Rose's... No, Rose was doing a lot of that as well but also she was having to pay invoices or she was having to do this kind of stuff. Popped down screw fix grab a... I went down screw fix. Shackle saw. Did she send me to screw fix Rob? What for? Or she wanted a bit of time with the builder.

Various things they didn't have. So my experience with screw fix Rob was we've given them a lot of promo on this podcast. I'd say it was a living hell of my own creating. I thought screw fix you walked around. No. It's like Argos. I'd say it was a living hell of my own creating. I thought Screwfix, you walked around. No. It's like Argos. It's Argos for geezers. Yeah, I didn't realize. It's quite intense.

So I thought, oh, I could just walk around and find this stuff. But Rose had given me a list of things that I then said to the woman behind the desk and she asked me further questions, which I had no information for. Yes. So then I spent my time in Screwfix on the phone to Rose, relaying this

information to the woman behind the desk, who then told me they didn't have it. And did Rose know what it was or did she have to speak to the builder as well? No, Rose knew. Okay. So Rose had the information, but you needed this. I don't know anything about any of these things. Okay, light bulbs. I don't know anything about light bulbs. I don't think you're the best person to go. I can't remember

why I did light bulbs. Surely you know light bulbs, Rob specifics. We're getting into wattage. We're getting into do you want yellow or white? We're getting into do you want dimmable light? Do you want dimmable? You're getting into wattage. We're getting into do you want yellow or white? We're getting into do you want dimmable light? Do you want dimmable? You're getting into you want LED. We're getting into all these things that I don't know about. I still don't know what watts are. No. 60 or 40. Well, surely you want brighter. Who wants half measures here? We've got it too bright.

Why not? Because it's sort of not really relaxing if it's too bright. Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm not relaxed anyway. No, you don't feel relaxed. Did the journey down with Rose's mum to Cornwall. So where was Rose? Rose was already in Cornwall sorting the house out. With the builder. So me and Rose's mum.

So you drove down with Rose's mum and the kids? Yeah, and the kids. Right. How long did that take? Including stops, seven and a half hours. That is a long time in a car with your mother-in-law, whether you get on well with them or not. Yeah. What's the situation for seven and a half hours? Are you chatting constantly? Are the kids asleep?

So it was the morning after the last leg. So I was a bit worried about going, should we just start at 7am because I don't get back till gone 12. Yeah. You're getting late for the last leg yet. So I was like, I don't want too much pressure on getting to sleep. No, no. You're also, it's stressful getting the kids in the car, toilet stops and all that kind of stuff. I was like, so let's wake up and call it. It's six hours, but we then,

I'll tell you about the stock. Wasn't six hours was it was seven and a half. No, it's six hours, but we had an extended stop, which I did not, was not happy about. Okay. I woke up about seven. I was like, let's just fucking do this. Yeah. Took three and a half hours to get everything together. Yeah. So in the car, self at 1030 1030 am on a Saturday, the start of Easter, arguably the worst possible time to drive to Cornwall. Well, the good news

is Rob, a lot of the schools 5050 wasn't it some of the schools, some like finished well early, some were well late. Yeah, like it was all over the shop which played into our hands. Newcastle seems to do whatever the fuck they want. Is that right? I've got mates in Newcastle who will be like, today go, oh can't wait for the Easter break. What's going on? It always seemed to be like two weeks before or two weeks after.

But I quite like the fact it's not standardised because it at least gives you a chance to, you know. Yeah, to try and get a slightly cheaper flight. Or just to drive on a road that isn't absolutely round. Yeah, because that could have taken nine hours. Yeah, so we've already got a dispute between me and my mother-in-law. Oh. She disagrees with the route of the Sat Nav. Oh my god, this is awful.

She disagrees with the route of the Sat Nav? Yeah. Well, either through London or down towards Cornwall. She thinks it's A303, the Sat Nav selling M4. Yeah. Well, in through London or down towards Cornwall. She thinks it's a 303 sat nav sang m4. A tale as old as time. People over 50. Yeah. Need to just admit the sat nav is right. Whenever my parents visit, they'll ask me what route they should take home. And I just go type it in to the sat nav. Yeah.

I don't know whether there is traffic through the middle of town, but you have a phone that does know that. So today I put in my postcode of the office and it came up below to red. And I saw that the M25 was all shut down. But if I hadn't have done that, I'd have been stuck in traffic now and this wouldn't be happening. I don't need any knowledge. I think AI should come

in quicker. One of Rosemont's points is if you just follow the sat nav, you don't know where you are. It doesn't matter. I don't need to know where I am. Does she accept that you're going with sat nav or is it awkward? Yeah, yeah, it's fine. That's fine. Yeah. We listened to the Beatles a lot. I mean, it's a great band, but trying to find a middle ground. It's good middle ground. What would you listen to with your mother-in-law? I was in a car with my lover-in-law.

Oh, that is a Freudian slip. Oh, no. Oh, no. With my lover, stroke mother-in-law. My lover. Again, something like the Beatles or Elton John. Yeah. Or I just put like magic on. Yeah. Radio to something very generic. Yes. Well, probably pick a radio station

because then I'm a bit like hands off it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we did the full album. Full Abbey Road. Now, under your stress. Knock out three hours of the six before a stop. I'm feeling king of the world at this point. That's good.

Yeah. Kids are asleep or just iPads or just looking at them. Just iPad. I've made my daughter a playlist of her favorite songs, which is about an hour and a half. And she just listens to that again and again and again. It's great. Nice. She sings along quite loudly, but that's fine.

She's got headphones. Yeah, that's good. Your son just watches. Why our kids don't, they're not allowed iPads in the car. Why not? They've just never had them. I thought they'd get like car sicks. They never have, they just go to sleep.

Oh, right. Well, no, they like iPads in the car as long as- Mine would as well, but I've just never given it to them. Cause they're attached to the back of the seat. Oh, right. So that's a bit better. Like a plane. So it's like being on a plane, yeah.

It's exciting. We don't like do it on the way to school. I'm just saying that for a long time. It's good for a long journey. I'd recommend it. Anyway, the kids in the journey was totally fine. So much better than I thought it was going to be. I was so worried about it. We stopped, nailed the stop, did the toilets, got our food. As we're leaving walking past Burger King. Rosemum says the kids John

chips. I'm like, why have you done that? Do you say that out loud? No, too late. This what's raised the belly for angry, keeping this stuff locked in. And then we have chips in they seen just a portion of chips each. Yeah, because they've been snacking on all like sandwiches or all that. Four portions of chips to share. No, I didn't have any. I didn't have any fucking chips. I just sat there seething.

Did your mother-in-law know you're watching two children eat chips? Yeah. When you've got a sat nav, it really brings home to you how much time it adds in the service station. How long was you in Berkley eating chips? Well, the whole service station added 45 minutes and you're like, fuck it, Al. Okay. Had they had lunch, the kids? Yeah, well, they've been snacking the whole way, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but she's probably thinking these kids need some proper lunch.

I know, she's not wrong, she's not wrong. We just didn't want to do it. Well, we could have just eaten in the car, Rob. Get back on the fucking road is my view. They agree they shouldn't have eaten in. Me and Rose on the way home, we stopped once. We did a night drive so the kids were asleep. That's a good way to do it.

We stopped once at a Shell garage, got straight out, got the stuff, got back in and carried on. How long did that take, that journey? Six hours, bang on. I would say that's good. Yeah. So what time did you leave? Six. PM. Yeah. That's not too bad. No, not too

bad at all. Just waiting for all day then, ain't you? We went to the beach, Rob. We enjoyed ourselves. Chill out. It is definitely relaxing to be on the beach when you know you've got a six hour drive coming up. I thought you were gonna get the train to and from Cornwall. Not with the kids. All right, okay.

Yeah. How often are you gonna go about? Well, quite often the way it went. No, no, Rose goes down on the train. Of course. Yeah. She's all right. She's a builder.

You're there plowing through her mum and Burger King chips. Yeah, I know. It's right for you, innit? On the train. To be fair, we get that the house is incredible. She's done an incredible, innit? Yeah. On the train. To be fair, we get that. The house is incredible. She's done an incredible, incredible job. Yeah.

It was a brilliant time. I'll just bring up the problems. And she's poured her heart and soul into it, Rob. And it is incredible. But I'm gonna say it. Yeah. I'm not sure I'd drive with her mum again. Wonderful woman, incredible woman. But I just think Rose needs to take the hit

on the driving. Or send her on the train. What, Rose? No, Rose's mom. What? Me with the two kids? That's more difficult, Rob. That's way more difficult. No, I would rather do that. No way. I would rather be me and two kids than an in-law. I like my in-laws. No, I like rather do that. No way. I would rather be me and two kids than an in-law.

I like me in-laws. No way. They're strapped in. You can do two on your own. Yeah, but you're constantly feeding them snacks and stuff. You're constantly having to, oh, iPlayers stop working. That kind of thing. No, I would rather go solo.

Would you? Yeah. No. And they'll go iPlayers stop working. They'll go, I'll fix it at the next stop. In three you? Yeah. No. And they got our players to stop working. I'll fix it at the next stop in three hours. Yeah. So why don't you have a little fucking kit? No, what I would do is I would do what you do of like leave late or leave really early. You couldn't really do it because you're doing last leg. Yeah. But I would rather hammer it down on

my own, I think, than go with someone. Obviously, if it was with Lou or with like, it is hard if you're going with someone, you know, as much as we love our mother-in-law's. And I do. Seven hours in a con of anyone. I don't think I could do it with anyone other than Rose now. What drive down to? Yeah. What about me and you?

I'd rather die. Yeah, no, I think that is a long old slog. But I would rather go alone, I think. Your mother-in-law could just jump on the train and then she'd love that. She loved her. Rose could just go on the train and you just drive down the road. But honestly, it would have been unbearable on my own.

She's stuff like, for instance, packing up the car and stuff. When you've got a two year old and a six year old, what also is what you don't you have to drive down the streets you haven't got to drive. Exactly. I was parked straight outside Rob. But and he's a bit young to be left. He's our minor older. Yeah, it's almost untenable on your own. Loading up the car on your own is awful.

Yeah. But maybe she helps you load up the car then you just drop off of the tube. See you there. So few highlights Rob or lowlights. So went to watch Plymouth versus QPR because that's nearby. So how far is Plymouth from your place? Hour and a half. Okay. We've got very different definitions of nearby.

Yeah. Rob, Endeavour and Cornwall. Yeah, that is near. I used to go an hour to Sixth Form. Oh my god. I can do it, Josh. I can't drive for seven hours and have one portion of Burger King chips. You could have been in New York. No, you couldn't be in New York. Add on all the bits to get to New York is a 12-hour. A 12-hour. Yeah, but are you in New York? Yeah, but Rob, let's be honest, I couldn't buy a house in New York. That would be very expensive. The amount of time Rose spent in Cornwall.

People fly into New York. You'd be absolutely on your ass. Josh is doing three panos this year. Our options weren't Cornwall or New York. True. Anyway, but you had a good time in Cornwall. Brilliant time. So I'll focus on the negatives. Go on. Lost our son's dummy. So we had to do enforced dummy fairy.

It was the end of dummy. It was the end of dummy. So you only had one dummy and he'd gone. It was gone by then. But how old is he? Two and a half. Yeah, so it's sort of a good time. It was a great time to do it, but it was forced our hands to doing it on half. Yeah, so it's sort of a good time. It was a great time to do it, but it was forced our hands to doing it on holiday.

Yeah. And then went to Plymouth versus QPR Rob. Yeah. He was in the cot, I'll find the- So you're trying to watch Plymouth and you're getting dummy updates. Okay. Plymouth one-nil down. Yeah.

In a relegation six-pointer. Rose texted me, he's absolutely beside himself tonight. Been going for nearly an hour, calling out for dummy and then asked for a cuddle. He's now in our bed. Is that the builder? I've got, oh God, so, so sorry. What else can you say? Yeah.

I'll be honest, at that point, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on relegation. I still get it because, you know, I've done that before when I've been at home with the kids and I'm messy. Yeah, it's probably because I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp.

I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of a wimp. I'm a little bit of I'll be honest, at that point, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on relegation. I sort of get it, because I've done that before when I've been at home with the kids and I miss him. Totally. Deep down, you know the person that's not there does not give a fuck. Do you know what I mean?

You just go, oh God, I'm sorry, that's a shame. If I'm doing it, I know Lou don't care. Yeah, but you've got to vent. Yeah. And then Plymouth equalized, five minutes from the end. Yeah. Check my phone. He was so upset. He's fast asleep now. Not sure whether you want to sleep in one of the double beds because he's in our bed. So basically, I'd lost our bed, Rob.

You'd lost your bed. So you're in the spare room at the new place already. Yeah, I'm in the spare room. Yeah. Apart from the final night, Rob. Yeah. We had some people staying in the last week. Parents with kids. Yeah. Yeah. We had some people staying in the last week parents with kids. Yeah. Yeah We got onto the subject of ghost stories Rob. Yeah, I scared myself so much I couldn't sleep in the room on my own. So you still weren't sleeping with Rose and your son? No, because he was still in our bed every night. What the whole time you were away?

No, just for the last few days because the game was right near the end. Okay, because of the dummy Yeah, so you've been sleeping alone. Yeah. And then the ghost stories got me. So then I just had to sleep on our floor on a futon. You Josh, this is so bleak. Where would you sleep? In the bed alone and not scared of ghost stories. These are really scary ghost stories, Rob. Josh, this holiday sounds shit. No, but I'm focusing on the bad bits. Eight hour drive down the Marbury lot. You had to

watch Plymouth play football. I didn't have to go watch Plymouth play football. It was a fucking great night. We got a point. How could you be a two year old? Can't you slide in? I don't want to sleep in a bed with a two year old and it's uncomfortable. But the floor. The futon. You couldn't sleep in a room on your own because someone told ghost stories. Yes. That is really weird for an adult man. Not fictionalised ghost stories. All ghost stories are fictionalised, there's no ghosts. Wow, is there Rob? Is there not? What do you mean not fictionalised? Like people sharing stories. There's no ghosts. Wow, is there Rob? Is there not? What do you mean not fictional?

Like people sharing stories. There's one about Michael and his dead gran. That's quite a good ghost story. Michael, can I bring you in for a second? Of course. First of all, do we think we need to do something about Josh's state of mind at the moment? That's always a default. Yes.

Have you ever been so scared you can't sleep in a bed on your own? Just one time in my life. Ah, thank you. That was just one time and the place was it was very, very scary. Am I doing a podcast with two absolute pussies? What is going on here? Was you an adult, Michael? Yeah, maybe we'll do a Halloween special.

I think if we had a vote on our Instagram, have you ever been too scared to stay in a room because of thoughts of ghosts? Because of your own weakness. I thought I'm turning into Clarkson or like an LBC radio DJ. So you after two hours of chats sharing ghost stories, not like around a fire or anything, but just that's what it got onto. Yeah. You wouldn't freak yourself out.

I could sleep anywhere. Big shot. I won't be freaked out. Oh, we'll do a Halloween special. I'll tell you some ghost stories and then you can record yourself trying to sleep. And see if I can deal with it. Yeah.

Okay. Anyway, it was a great holiday, but what I've done is I've highlighted the bad bits because I just write them down because that's what you're looking for. Right. Okay. Do you want me to tear that when I went into the football? I've just got one thing to tell you about after the football, a more embarrassment with celebrity. More embarrassment with celebrity. Okay, well, this this feels like a bit of a celebrity, unreliable episode.

We'll get back to more relatable stuff next week. But I got invited to watch Arsenal play. Yeah, the day before. So it was a bit, obviously, someone cancelled. Yeah, but I was invited by the CEO to watch in the director's box. Rob, I watched Plymouth in the director's box. I know that's not as impressive. It's a different thing. It's not a different thing.

It's a different thing. Alan Sugar runs businesses as do all the apprentices that go on his show. Tom Skinner is a great guy. And he sells some great pillows. He is not on the level of Alan Sugar. No, I know. Okay, let's play this game. Who was in the director's box at Plymouth? The director, the chairman. Yeah, but who else? Some of the youth team. Right. Quite a lot of people I didn't recognise. So I presume to be players wives. Okay. Right. Quite a lot of people I didn't recognise, so I presume to be players wives. Okay. Right. Well, I was on a table with Natalie Portman and

the president of Rwanda. Did you ask him about the flights? I didn't ask him about the flights or Natalie about Star Wars. Let's not bring up any contentious issues about the Phantom Menace and the Phantom flights. That is insane. Natalie Portman. Yeah, her son's a massive Arsenal fan, so she was there. Is she based in England? She lived in France for a bit. She's filming in England, but she lives in LA, very American. Right. A laugh? Yeah, she was actually really good laugh.

What about the president of Rwanda? Not as much of a laugh, but I couldn't really give him a full critique because I didn't have one conversation with him. No. You know, he's sitting on a bit of a table and it's a bit like, where do you start with the president of Rwanda? So who else is it? Well, definitely the flights. Who else was there?

There was the CEO. What's your majority? Vin and Liz. Yeah. And then Natalie Portman, her son, the president of R's your majority? Vin and Liz. Yeah. And then Natalie Portman, her son, the president of Rwanda, his security and then my brother Joe. And I was late because I was coming back and I got caught in loads of traffic and it all went a bit wrong. So I got there like

just before kickoff. Yeah. My brother Joe had just been sat there for an hour chatting. Oh my God. He was like, I didn't know what was going on. That is incredible. It was a Munich game. Oh, wow. That's exciting. Very, very exciting. So did you find out who dropped out? No, didn't find out who dropped out.

I should have asked actually. And also Vin is a big fan of the podcast. Who's Vin? Vin is the CEO of Arsenal. And he listens to the podcast before Arsenal games to calm his nerves. Incredible. Well, shout out to Vin. Big up, Vin and Liz.

Let me show you this picture. It's amazing though, because he sent me this picture on the way to the Arsenal game. Unfortunately, it was the one we lost. But he's got a photo of his car Apple Play with the podcast on and it says, welcome to Emirates Stadium, and he's pulling in. And the episode title, chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water. Amazing. Amazing.

Anything else to? Yeah, we should cordon these things off as unrelated because I don't think anyone's gonna argue that my seven hour car trip with my mother-in-law has made me too unrelatable. We'll cordon these off as our celeb bubble chat Rob. I tell you what to finish off celeb bubble chat. Yeah. Why don't you talk to me about your celeb awkward celeb encounteron these offers are celeb bubble chat Rob. I tell you what to finish off celeb bubble chat. Yeah. Why don't you talk to me about your celeb awkward celeb encounter? Exactly. So celeb bubble chat Rob. And then I'm going to go really into parenting next week when we

talk about school shoes. Oh, yeah, big time. I was reading a article Joe Leiser edited the new review in the Observer. And I was reading on the Guardian website him interview Robbie Williams, because I like both Joe Leicester and Robbie Williams and Robbie Williams was saying he does art on Instagram. Right. I'm sorry. I'll check him a follow. Obviously you click on Robbie Williams. He's got 3 million followers. Yeah. He's following 240 people. Yeah. I sneaky looks serious following. Yeah. You you're Romesh. Is he is following your Romesh

Alex Brooker? Not you. Not me. Not me. It's fine. Everyone around you though. Everyone around me, which means he's heard and seen you but thought not for me. Not for me. And then Rob, yeah, follow him. Think nothing else of it. Hour later, DM from Robbie Williams. Hey, what took you so long kiss, but no follow back. Oh, so I think what's going on here then is this is what 3 million followers is this automated for all followers? It must be. So I get some people to follow them. They don't get the message. Oh, well, they verified people. No, they weren't. Maybe that's it. So I'm following follow. Because maybe he's got a thing where it's automated for verified people. Yeah, maybe. Did you reply to him? Yes, I did, Rob. And what did he say? No dice, Rob. Snake eyes for me. How quickly did

he reply back? An hour. So it wasn't automated straight away. Yeah, nothing's come through on me for that. No, no, but it took an hour for it to arrive, but surely he's not aware. He's got three million followers, he can't be tracking who's following him, bearing in mind he doesn't follow me. I saw his documentary, I reckon he sat there on his wirefront, laptop out, phone out, just keeping on top of his socials. Just keep it on top of his bloody socials. Look, even people at the very, very top need to keep on top of their socials, Josh. So I feel like I've been ghosted by Robbie Williams, even though he's replied to me, Rob. What did you say to his reply? Was it something weird?

No, it was good. What did he say? So he said... What took you so long? Would you say, do you know any good ghost stories? I said, Robbie, is this actually you? Question mark. Yeah. If so, love the Netflix doc and love the interview with Joe Lysett today. That's nice. That's fine.

Yeah. But nothing. Nothing. Go the other way and be mean to him. See if that gets him. Well, he loves that, doesn't he? Does he? Well, as in, I've seen the Netflix doc. He did not love it, but he'd go deep on that. Yeah. Anyway Rob. Yeah. Something's come up I'm doing Sunday brunch in two weeks. For four you're promoting now? Hold the front page. Right.

That's a long slog. Yeah. Rob you'll know the impact of this I'm on with Jess Glynn. Jess Glynn, Alex Scott's partner and singer and Alex got and Jess Glynn were at the gig and you I've talked publicly about being ghosted by Alex Scott. And now I'm coming face to face with Jess Glynn Rob. So you can ask her about it. I don't think I will. I'm sure the rumor and the lovejoy will.

No, they won't will they? They will. There's a researcher listening to this now, scribbling out a bit of paper. They love it when two guests have got something in common, Josh. Oh, God. You're again going to be on another chat show talking about something you've said on this show. It's what my life is, right? There is Gabriel Scroofix. It's all my life is, is going on chat shows and finding out I'm on with people that I've said something weird about on this podcast and then having to face up to them on television.

That is my fucking life. I'm looking forward to seeing it. I'm not. No. Oh, by the way, I went into Pratt and they gave me a free porridge because they recognized me. Did you order porridge? Yeah, I picked it up and they were like, oh. Right, so you say you don't like porridge and I make this porridge goblin out.

I thought you'd bought something else and then they gave you a free porridge to be like, oh, here you go, you like porridge, but you'd already bought the porridge. No, I hadn't bought the porridge. Well, no, but you picked up the porridge and they just didn't charge you for it. No, there's nothing wrong with liking porridge. I never said there was, but you just said you didn't.

No, I never said I didn't like porridge. I just don't love porridge. You love, you have it every time. I don't have it every time. The last time you went to the prep, you had porridge. That's not every time. What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Well, that was yesterday. The last time you went to the prep you had porridge. That's not every time. What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Well that was yesterday.

The prep was yesterday. Okay. So that's a bad example. Okay so what did you have for breakfast this morning? I haven't had breakfast this morning because I was taking a cat to the vet. To have its kidneys flushed. Yes. Yeah.

What are you going to have for lunch, breakfast? Yoghurt. That's just a porridge for wankers. Isn't it? It's a porridge for wankers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hello, you absolute legends. My name is Becky and I'm a mum to Zoe Six and Axel Three. I own films about love, my videography business. I mainly film weddings, but can also film family events, as well as promo films for small businesses. I went full time with the business

when I was pregnant with Axel in 2020, and I've never looked back. My style of filming is natural, candid, relaxed, and fun. I'm based in Jersey, Ch Channel Islands, but film weddings across the UK as well as further afield for destination weddings. You can find out more on my Instagram page at Becky underscore kin Ross underscore with video or that's the longest Instagram I'm reading it now. The longest Instagram handle

I've ever seen. Videographers, artists, spellers. Kinross, K-I-N-R-O-S-S, if you're wondering. Videographer. Or my website, filmsaboutlove.co.uk. Why don't you just have films about love on Instagram? Because it's probably taken. Yeah, but anyway. Thank you, always manages to make me laugh even in the darkest of times. Huge love, Becky. So filmsaboutlove.co.uk or the most... Look, Becky Kim Ross.

Just go to filmsaboutlove.co.uk. I don't want to get up in your grill, but that Instagram handle's not acceptable. If you're trying to run a business. I don't want to get all Alan Sugar on you. I'm reading it. Fucking hell, one night with Vin, and before you know it, Rob's got his business helmet on.

Helmet. Helmet? What? His helmet. What is wrong with me? I think we're both a bit tired. I feel fucked. Yeah. You know, we'll be back to full mass soon once the kids go to school. Yeah. Hi, guys. I would like to give my friend a small business shout out.

She is the founder of At Funphonics, which is spelt friend a small business shower. She is the founder of at fun phonics, which is spelled with a pH So it's pH UN UN pH O ni CS underscore and underscore magic maths found on Instagram What's going on today Rob? Hi, I'm a new comedian come to my Instagram Instagram page, rob underscore Beckett underscore funny underscore jokes underscore laughs.com. Fun phonics underscore and underscore magic maths. But you know what? It's actually clever business. Is it? Yeah, because they know if they have an unwieldy Instagram, they get more of a shout out. They get more of a shout out. Wasn't that bloke who sent us a full website link that we had to read out?

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, well, good luck with it. I haven't finished the message, Ross. I'm still typing in Becky Kinross. At Funphonic underscore and underscore magic maths, found on Insta, she is an educational consultant around small multi-sensory based lessons from a purpose-built class from at home. Primary school children in the Hampshire area. I personally sought her help with my son last year and she was an invaluable resource when I

was at a loss in forging my son's interest and progression in learning. With a long-standing background in primary school teaching, she was able to break down school jargon and give me the skills and confidence and supporting my son to overcome his barriers to learning. That is excellent. Kind regards, Palms. There you go. D-A-R-M-S. That's an interesting name, isn't it? To be fair, films about love has already been taken by an

American videographer. Oh, there we go. Just stick a UK on the end. Too late now, Rob. Too late now. I've done the shout out. Plus films about love. If you're in the US, try films about now. I've done the shout out. Plus films about love. If you're in the US, try films about love. Also, it should be films about love 60% of the time because the divorce rate is soaring.

Exactly. Films about current love. Current love in this moment. Right, Josh, I'll see you next time. We've got a great guest this week as well. Yeah, don't know who it is, but can't wait. Bye. Bye. It was pretty good, Rachel. About all sorts of different things. Things we've eaten. Things we've seen. Places we've been.

Things we've smelled. People we've met sometimes. Those will be, we'll have to talk about them without giving away who they were. And that will be the challenge you as a listener can enjoy. Exactly. You can get all of the episodes. In the places where podcasts are. Hello, my name is Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast with David Earl.

It's called Chatterbix. Chatterbix is a podcast, magazine and chat show, isn't it? Yeah. We're on three times a week, we have loads of guests, special guests, surprise guests. Can I read some of the highlights? Yeah. Interviewing a Red Arrow pilot. Visiting a haunted house.

Chatting with Ricky Gervais, Harry Hill, James A. Caster and Katherine Ryan, amongst others. Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley. And I met my hero, Andrew Roachwood, and I cried. So that's Chattervix. D-H-A-T-A-B-I-X. Chattervix.