Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP4: Romesh Ranganathan III

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) and back for this third appearance is the brilliant comedian - Romesh Ranganathan. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parents in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping or hopefully how they're not coping and we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips advice and of course tales of parenting woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing hello you're listening to parenting hell with Rosie, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett.

Good girl. Can you say Josh Whittacombe? Josh Whittacombe. Good girl. Clap hands. There we go. Good girl. He actually said girl like people write on the internet. G-U-R-R-L.

Girl. Do you know where he's from? Mozambique. Bristol. Near. Near. Been listening to the podcast from the start. This is my nearly two-year-old.

Got my wife hooked on the podcast and it's cured hours of boredom spent driving for my job. Keep sexy and relatable from Jordan and Alice. There we go. Because you know what? I love the people that listen to this and people really like it and um also thanks to the feedback on the gabrielle uh screw fix episode i genuinely asked two people i know to listen and tell me if if if it's still any good because i literally had nothing to talk about that day and they picked and i was like i've really i've taken a piss with this episode but people quite like it but i'd say so people do really like it and but you you cannot underestimate how much people hate their job and they'll need anything to listen to

to distract them from it because you know that's something you really need to bear in mind are you looking forward to romesh today yes i'm looking forward to it i've not i've not seen him for a bit actually when's the last time i saw him so So, yeah, I've not chatted to Ramesh. This is quite exciting that we've got questions that Lisa's answered. Yeah. Ramesh doesn't know it. When do you think we should drop it in the interview? When it starts getting – if we're drying up. So kind of two-thirds of the way through?

Yeah, and I'd say don't be panicked five minutes in if you feel like it's not warming up. We'll get there. Yeah. It just depends on his day. You know, he's probably done a three-hour shoot of weakest link this morning he's he's bigfoot in mass singer he's actually joe domic in a mask that's the big reveal for the mass singer no that's the big reveal because there'll be a big reveal the big reveal is that none of the judges of the presenters are them they're all in in masks. Pretending to be Mo Gilligan, pretending to be Jonathan Ross,

pretending to be Joel Domet. Yeah. It's actually Romesh, his mum, and then the cheeky girls. That's the judging panel. That's the big reveal. Which one's which? What? Which one's which?

Which cheeky girl? No, no. So, Ray Orr is the cheeky girl on the left. Yeah. And Davina McCall is the cheeky girl on the left. Yeah. And Davina McCall is the cheeky girl on the right. Yeah. And Romesh's mum's Mo Gilligan. Yeah.

Yeah, Shanti's Mo. And then cheeky girl's Rita Orr at Davina McCall. And then Romesh is Joel Domet. Oh, so Jonathan Ross himself? Yeah, that's why Romesh has lost all his weight to play Joel. But Jonathan's just himself. You can't make a mask out of that man's face.

Normally, you know what I say in this situation, Rob? Go on. Normally we do 10 minutes before the guests. Yeah. I'm going to stick my neck out.

We're barely going to have to edit this Romesh thing. Well, I can chuck in a couple more minutes. Oh, go on then. I've got stuff. Go on. A cab barely going to have to edit this Romesh thing. Well, I can chuck in a couple more minutes. Oh, go on then. I've got stuff. Go on. A cab driver said to me the other day,

your face sounds familiar. Oh, well, that's a show, isn't it? Oh, no, that's your voice. Yes, but he's got it wrong, hasn't he? Yeah, he has. Yeah, but your face sounds familiar. Oh, does it? What did you say?

I went, oh, does it? Well, I do a bit of comedy. He might be that. And then he didn't speak again. What do you say when people ask you what you've been on? I do comedy. What have I seen you on? What have I seen you on?

What have I seen? Oh, I do a podcast, do a thing with Romesh, done a live at Apollo, Mock the Week, that kind. You have to say things that are old, because that's what they remember you from, the older stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I had 10 cats. Did that for a bit.

What about you? Did you say Last Leg? No, I say, oh, you know, the panel shows. The panel shows. Because I know that it's not the things that I... It's never your... You know, they're always going to say Mock the Week, whatever, because they mean Mock the Week

to mean everything. Yeah, Mock the Week means sat down talking. Yeah. On the telly, basically. It's like Hoover, isn't it? Well, that's where me, you and Romesh really connected, Josh, wasn't it? We all stand up together, but then Mock the Week was on that load. Oh, when he turned out with his leather shirt.

Still denies it. Still denies it. Still denies it. Yeah, that was all out, actually. You're right. We should have just gone straight into it. This is Romesh Ranganathan. Shall I do the intro? You can do the intro.

Welcome, Romesh. What? We always know this. I know we know each other, but a little bit of build-up would be nice. I recognise him from The Weakest Link, from... It's not rocket science. It's not rocket science. Judge

Romesh. He's death on live TV as part of Soccer AM. Yes. How's your intro for that, Romesh? Welcome back. Yeah, I like it. Like it, yeah. Welcome back. You're our third time? Yeah. How many people have you had on three times?

Just people that want to keep promoting That's who we are Keen pluggers Luckily I've got enough projects on the go That I could be a weekly guest Any reason you do Wolf and Owl, innit? Yeah, basically Keep up with your contractual commitments

What are we talking about this week on Wolf and Owl? Oh, it's my new show that I've got me a contractual commitment to the podcast. What are we talking about this week on Wolf and Out? Oh, it's my new show that I've got, actually. It's just Tom Davis's podcast. No one's realised he just books the same guest every week. Welcome back, Rom. For the uninformed listeners, three kids. What ages are they now? Three boys.

We've got three boys, 14, 12 and nine. Right, OK. So you're heading into Pubes Town. It's getting older. Correct. Teenage boys. Men. You've got men under the roof. Yeah, it's slightly, well, it is like having a bloke in the house.

I mean, he's almost as tall as me now. Yeah. I'm living with a young man that's grown up in Crawley. Do you know what I mean? So he's quite, he's like a Crawley bloke. I've got a Crawley bloke in my house. Do you know what I mean? So he's quite, he's like a Crawley bloke. I've got a Crawley bloke in my house. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if I know enough

about Crawley. The only person I know from Crawley is you. Well, imagine me, but less socially awkward and actually having some success with women. No, I'd say if you put your eldest son next to you when you were the same age, you'd look like different species.

If you'd time travel, you could never do Back to the Future. I don't know what you and Nisha have done, but I'd say sort of you've... Well, I've got an idea. Lept a few... This is parenting hell. You've got no idea what happens. The evolution of man chart, I'd say you've gone a few levels up in one generation.

What I would say is Lisa's genetics have done my bloodline a huge favour. That is the best way of summarising that. Which I'd say, Rom, I'd say is fine for you to say, but for me and Rob who are white to say that Lisa's genetics have done your bloodline a good service. Yeah, I mean, I certainly hope that Lisa's not on some, you know, some other podcast going, I've done Romesh's bloodline a favour. Yeah.

Oh, your son's so handsome, must be all the white in him. Must be that white woman. You know what, we diluted that brown right out, and actually, when you really get it down low enough, it's actually quite appealing. She was dealing with double concentrate, and she's really, we diluted that brown right out. And actually, when you get it down low enough, it's actually quite appealing. She was dealing with double concentrate, and she's really, really diluted that down.

So you've got a crawly bloke in your house. Yeah. And do you get on with him like a mate? A little bit, yeah. It's sort of three levels of parenting, actually. Because our youngest is sort of... I mean, he's nine, but because he's the youngest of three, he's quite babied.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So I'm sort of going with him, and he wants hugs and sort of, you know, messing around and, like, you know. I'll play Fortnite with him a bit and stuff. The middle one is really into tech and stuff. So I go in there into his room, and he'll talk to me about the iPhone 15 for 45 minutes.

And then you go into you put into what kind of chat is it you're having about that mate he's like obsessed with tech so like he like so whenever we're buying anything i go into him and it's like going into curry do you mean like he'll start giving me the breakdown of like the various again another line you can only say not us yeah absolutely yeah yeah yeah but he knows all about the specifications of it and stuff and what yeah and all that and he's like he's like deep dived into like YouTube videos on you know different bits of tech and like cameras and stuff I don't he's super into it I don't even understand half what he's saying to be honest with you and then

the eldest one is just a bit of a he's quite I wouldn't say he's quiet he's saying, to be honest with you. And then the eldest one is just a bit of a – he's quite – I wouldn't say he's quiet. He's not like life and stuff, but he is – he's very cool. You know, like he sort of makes you want to be his mate. Do you know what I mean? So I sometimes go into his room and I'm a bit thirsty, to be honest with you. But it is like having a mate. Do you know what I mean?

We'll sort of exchange music recommendations and stuff like that and sometimes but it's got he's got to the point now where he started to i say it's got to the point it's been like this for the last couple of years he does find me embarrassing like i don't know if i said this last time i was on but he actually shushed me when we're at a restaurant because i was being embarrassingly loud i was sort of i was sort of telling a story well i was just sort of telling a story. Well, I was just sort of telling a story. I was sort of telling it in an animated way. And like the younger two were laughing and I started warming to my theme.

I was like, yeah, okay. Dad's like holding cool. Previous preview at the end of the day, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, I was running some gear out. Do you know what I mean? And in the middle of it, he just goes, Dad, can you just like,

can you just keep it down a bit, please? And I was like, dad, can you just like, can you just keep it down a bit, please? And I was like, mate, listen, I said, these people will be glad to be getting a show from the great Womish Ranganathan. But yeah,

he started to find me a bit embarrassing. Do you know what I mean? When I saw him the other day, you were saying that you, he's trying to nick your trainers. Cause you're the same size. Not only is he trying to knit my, mate,

so he's, they're really into like, uh, dance and performance and stuff like that. Right. So a few weeks ago we were going to, they were, they were going to, what's it called?

Musical con or something. It's like a, it's like a event. Like comic con, but for musicals. Right. Oh my God. So, so I was, sos, right? Oh, my girls are like that. So,

so I was, so I was. Rob, we can see when you Google, your glasses light up. he's still on the set up. I'll be back for the laugh. Don't worry.

Come on, he's ate my first roll. I've never done this story before. It's new material. I don't know if there is a laugh at the end of this. It might just all be set up. I'm one of the best fake laughers in the business, mate.

I heard this in a restaurant. It's not that good. Yeah. He overheard it in Carluccio's. So anyway, I was doing Saturday Kitchen in the morning and then I was meeting them at Musical.Con afterwards. So I went over there. That's not a day.

I know, incredible, right? Something for you, something for them. Lovely. Yeah, I got some abuse off Saturday Kitchen, by the way. I didn't think it was a controversial show, but I managed to get into some controversy for it. So do you know you do food heaven or hell? Yes.

Yeah. Right, so my food heaven was sticky toffee pudding, right? So we got food heaven. And, like, you know they bring the meals over. It's always food heaven. It's always food heaven. Yeah. I mean, I think if it's food hell, the interview's probably not gone well.

You know, I think that's a good indication that you haven't really... It's your pilchards on stage. Yeah. So we're giving Romesh raw meat, as voted for by the public. So they gave me sticky toffee pudding. And, like, normally... You know when they bring over the other meals or whatever, you sort of share it out.

I just ate it to myself. And then, because I thought that's what you're supposed to, I just ate, it's my food heaven. So I ate it. I left on my way to musical con. I look at my phone,

just my phone is blowing up with people calling me a greedy bastard. Like a selfish crap. You know, when you leave a thing, you know, when you leave a thing, especially live TV, I mean, Josh, I know you're used to it, but like when you leave a thing, especially live TV, I mean, Josh, I know you're used to it, but when you leave a thing just going, I think that went all right.

And then you look straight away, you get an immediate response, and you go, oh, right, okay. Well, that was unfortunate. Do you know what I mean? I thought it had gone well. Who didn't you share it with? Was there another guest? I can inform you if you want.

Matt Tebber with Jack Croft, Will Murray, Sophie Mitchell, and special guest Robyn Schwenkernathan. Are they the people that come on because they know about whiskey? No, they ran a restaurant. I've actually been to that restaurant since. Oh, here we go. Well, no, no, I paid for the meal. I don't know what you're insinuating.

I wasn't insinuating anything. Well, you said, here we go. Did you scoffle the food on your own and tell a story too loud? Dirty little toffee. He sat on his own, but he's still telling a fucking story. Did you just call me a dirty little toffee? I forgot that toffees are brown and then it raises. And obviously you're a huge Everton fan.

Thank God. toffees are brown and then it rises and obviously you're a huge everton fan thank god i'm gonna some parts screaming you big toffee at people anyway anyway i go to music i go to musical con and i go to find lisa it's at the excel i go and find lisa and the kids and she says theo's in the middle of uh in the middle of a class he's doing some dance class he's a 14 year old yeah he's a 14 year old yeah so I walk into the to watch him in the dance class he's doing dance like street dance like on his toes and all that in a brand new pair of my Jordans but he's just so so not only is he wearing them he's like doing spins on them I mean he's like well he's not moonwalking.

They don't favour that anymore. But he's doing all sorts of stuff. I couldn't believe it. Macarena. He's doing like... He's trying to think of dance moves. He's doing agadoo. Do you know what I mean?

Superman. It's upside your head. On his own. You can't get a trip together. No one really wants to. And they expect fancy ones as well. They like your good ones. Well, you know, it was a brand new pair that I struggled to get.

It's one of these. So how do you deal with that? Did he march across and rip them off his feet? Well, no. I'm in a situation where I'm trying to save my children from the problems that I have, right? And one of the problems that I have is if I get a mark on my clothes or if I get a mark on my trainers,

I tend to sort of verge towards having a breakdown. It's pretty bad. And I don't want to pass that on to them. So I pretended I was all right about it. And I just sort of swallowed it deep, deep down. And it will probably manifest. That's the best way for you to cope, I think. Just sort of bury it.

Yeah, I think it's good. That's what everyone's encouraging, isn't it? Just to push it deep, deep down so it sort of festers. I do find you can't wear nice shoes or trainers when you've got young kids because they will just stand on your feet. The amount of times I've bought a new pair of trainers, put on them, they immediately just stand on your feet or the amount of times i've got a new pair of trainers put on they immediately just tread on them it used to say yeah they they also think it's it's funny to tread on them as well like they you know they sort of go dad's got new trainers on let's stamp on them or whatever and so i end up sort of it looks like i'm just pushing them

away like livestock or whatever because i just don't want them anywhere near my shoes what's your attitude with him? He must be at an age where he wants money and he wants to buy stuff and he wants... Has he got a job? No, he's not. He's got an allowance. He has got an allowance.

We've sort of got an allowance, but we kind of do it like he gets a bit of money every now and again, but it's more like he has to justify what his purchase is. You know, we normally get a pitch. It's like Dragon's Den, actually, at our house, where if they want to buy something, Lisa and I will sit on the sofa and they just have to give us a series of supporting arguments

as to why they should have it. And then if we decide it's okay, it's okay. But the thing is, is that he's 14 now. His tastes have become become their tastes become expensive super early man do you mean like he's into like designer clobber do you mean and like tiktok's not helping no i mean like what's the brands for kids what what is like the dream for that like if if you said like oh you've won the lottery you can go to the shops what brands do they want at that age well they sort of went through a phase of,

one of the things that's incredibly wasteful, particularly with the younger two, is they get into YouTubers and these YouTubers are like, these YouTubers. Oh, the merch drops. Yeah, they're doing merch drops. And then like the kids want like, what was it that Charlie, our youngest wanted Infinite Lists. There's this YouTuber called Infinite Lists.

So he bought this hoodie that cost about 80 quid. Now, he can't stand Infinite Lists. He doesn't want anything to do with it. And it's got good quality jumpers, are they? No, they've definitely been made by one of the kid's relatives. It's not good. it's not good and with a 14 year old is there

has there been any romance going on that you've had to deal with no there hasn't yet the other two

our second son's got a long term girlfriend long term yeah yeah how long term um 13 years it's been about

five years now it's been no seriously fuck off no seriously seriously

so how did they meet at school just at school yeah they've been going out since they were seven and they're now 12

you say going out I can't they've never been out and what the relationship seems to be is that they sort of talk about each other like they're in a couple seven and they're now 12. You say going out. I can't, they've never been out. And what seemed, what the relationship seems to be is that they sort of talk about each other like they're in a couple, but when they're together, they don't speak to each other directly.

So it's like being in a couple. It's like being you and Lisa. Yeah. It's a little bit. Yeah. I think we, apparently you can, you model your relationship.

They really have taken to it quite well. Yeah. And so have you met her? Yeah, I've met her. Yeah. Yeah. yeah i mean do they celebrate anniversaries yeah yeah really i'm super cute that's amazing i don't know if he's ready to go public with it yet so this might be this is a parenting hell exclusive well i think five years in if he's still ashamed of her by that point then then he needs to, you know, how are you feeling about, um, like your son going out on the lash? And I'm, I'm,

I'm just sort of nervous about if you guys think about what you were up to at 14 years old, I mean, just in terms of little wanky. No, but I'm talking about discovering your own body. Sorry. I was just like,

it was all discovering your own body. Yeah. Yeah. Are you giving a fucking sex education speech? I know, just every time he goes to the toilet, I'm just so nervous. Do you know what I mean? Like, I mean, Rob, I assume at 14,

you were fully in that world, right? Yeah. Everyone is, aren't they? Half term, it was... I mean, I was asking rob josh he seemed to confirm did you two know each other back then we've been going out since we were 12 what i'd say so it was it was for me because it was like it was harder to because i shared a room and it was such a small house it was harder to find the time and the space to do it so that when

i did you know you'd go to the talk we only had one toilet in our house so you turn the shower on and you've got to start you've got to start wanking before the water runs out yeah yeah absolutely and sometimes sometimes i mean i don't want to get too graphic but i sort of think well it's very rare that you get very rare that you get this opportunity so i would often try and go a second time you know while i've while the so it's not just tv shows you don't tell me any of he starts on before he's finished yeah and i was gonna say i knew what i wanted to do back then because i sort of started hosting my own wanks actually I mean I mean I can I can tell you I don't know if it's podcast suitable I mean I can tell you

I was sort of like oh it's not just podcast suitable Romesh this has been clipped up for Instagram don't worry about that we'll be wishing we made it look like you cried on Stephen Bartlett rather than this one going up. Have you had a chat with him about it? No, it's become clear just from general conversation that he knows exactly what's going on. Do you know what I mean? I mean, they,

uh, you know, but I don't know. I've never said to him, I mean, if, if my dad came into my room when I was 14 and said, can I just,

I just want to get this out the way. You're of a certain age. What I want to know is are you wanking? I would have jumped out the fucking window. What are you going to get out of that? Yes or no? I know. It's like, why do you want to confirm that? I'm happy to just live with the suspicion.

Do you know what I mean? Ignorance is bliss when it comes to your child masturbating. Absolutely. That's what I've always said that. Yeah, that's the old saying, isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah. So, listen, he probably,

he possibly, probably is. I'm so nervous about the fact that this is Lisa's favourite podcast. Right. Well, let's move on. I actually feel more nervous about saying it on this podcast than I do on Wolf for Now

because I know it's more likely that she'll hear it on this one. Or more people listen to this as well, which makes a difference. That's another good point. I'm joking. On the subject of Lisa... You're not joking, are you? That's factually correct. Not much, but yes, he's more. Get that song back clear.

On the subject of Lisa, this is her favourite podcast. Yeah. Do you know what? This wasn't our idea, was it, Rob? No. It came from... It came from your agent, Rob. She said, wouldn't it be fun when you have Rob back on,

because it's the third time, to get Lisa to answer some questions? Wouldn't that be fun, Rob? Rob? What sort of questions? No, no, no, not like how big... Where were you last Thursday? So, do you want to have a guess at our answers? Well, it'd be difficult to guess the answers

without knowing what the questions were. What would you like us to talk about? He doesn't like it when he's not hosting, does he? Was it like this to Claire from Steps on the weakest link at the weekend. Mimisha from Gogglebox was on weakest link. It wasn't like this. He was actually very, almost flirty with H from Steps. No, I'm only joking.

Okay, how many questions is it? I just want to get some expectations It's about ten Ten questions, okay, right, fine I'll have a guess, yeah This feels like a great item, and I'm not anxious This is the first time, just to be clear, that we've ever done a feature Okay, fine

What would you like him to do more of as a dad or a parent? Oh, God. He thought it was going to be a bit of fun. What did he buy me on the end of it? This is quite a dark one. So Flo suggested a therapy session, did she? She suggested you do couples therapy.

Ron's about to go off on tour around the world this week and we'll ask him questions about his life and relationship. Right, before you leave the house for two months, what do you think your wife thinks? They're all very, you come out of it very well. Okay, fine. I would say be around more, you know, maybe do less away, something like that.

One thing would be take a more active role in completing homework. Ooh. Oh. Is that what she said yeah yeah this is a comedy podcast why is she getting so deep secondary school and the homework is sometimes unmanageable when having to help and supervise all three of them okay well what i would say I would say is, okay, in my defence, and I'm bearing in mind that Lisa will be listening to this, so I don't want to have to deal with a fallout from this later on, but Lisa and I have a different,

we have different attitudes towards homework. I take it less seriously than Lisa does. So I feel like we can stress kids out too much with homework. Do you know what I mean? I sort of feel like and also as a maths teacher i know you're required to set homework do you mean you're you're obligated to set homework wherever you want to set homework i think that's a useful thing is a different thing do you mean so yes there might be teachers and sometimes i see the homeworks and i think this

is just a time killer this is not a real this is not a learning thing do you mean so yeah you know our actions different having said that i i did the other day uh sit there oh god i'm making it out like i deserve a cookie no no come on let's know how great you are as a dad no no but i mean i've tried i've tried to get i've tried to get more involved i've tried to get more involved with the homework What did you do the other day? The other day, I just sat with... Where's Josh going? He's closed the door. He's got a short sod. Are you not cold?

No, I'm inside. I know, but... Josh, you're dressed like a member of Blink 182. Where are you? Let me shut the door we got the heating on i cannot part i cannot sleep tonight because my neck aches it's so stiff hunching down and writing jokes all day punching down and writing jokes all day.

Welcome to the podcast. We're doing a feature. We've asked Robesh's wife some fucking questions. Hello there. Are you Lisa Renger? I got an old pet and I've got some ideas. I wish you would help with homework. What do you prefer he does less of?

I think the kids are going to spend time. Oh, that was fun. I enjoyed that. With the homework, can I just say one thing about homework thing? I get that. I agree with you, Rom. I think the kids do too. They do so much in school. Having to do more out of school is a bit too much. However,

are you suggesting then they just don't do it? No, I'm not. Here he goes. Lure him in by looking like you agree with him and then absolutely. No, I'm not suggesting that they don't do it. The Romesh doesn't do it. Yeah, yeah. I don't have to that they don't do it so Romesh doesn't do it

yeah I don't have to sit with them and do it that's what I'm saying the way things are going Rom you're going to be presenting gladiators with one of your kids at this rate when Bradley when the Walsh's have had enough I just think that the kids get a bit too stressed out about it so what I mean is I'm trying to be like,

I have a bit more of a relaxed attitude, which might not be the right way to do it. Yes. Fair enough. Respect, respect, respect. What do you,

what do you think, what would she like you to do less of? What would she like me to do less of? I guess it would be leaving things around the house. I mean, I would say that if Lisa was to leave me, it would be because of the amount of mess I create. No, it would be because you play FIFA tournaments

with the two youngest. And it always ends in tears and tantrums and them falling out. I usually walk into the fallback coming back from a dog walk. Why has she got... What does she think these answers are for? She's answering.

No, she's answering. You don't need to hit her on for being honest. But I mean, this is not... This is... Lisa, I know you'll be listening to this. Why have you done real answers? Why have you done genuine stuff that shows the innermost workings of a relationship?

Maybe she'll be funny about the next one. What do you think of his fitness transformation? Oh, my God. By the way, these are very diggy questions. They're not! They're not! What did you think about the fitness transformation? I'd say that would be, that's not a diggy question.

That's nice. That's bigging you up and giving her an opportunity to show, you know, the love she has for you. We'll see if she takes it. Shall we see? I'm sure she'll sort of go into some details about some kind of erectile dysfunction I've got or something. Yeah, he's got a good body, but his limp dick's doing my head in.

Well, I'm interested after you've been so aggy, Rom. I am so proud of Rom and his transformation. He looks amazing, and it's taken dedication, and it's really paid off. Also, now I have a training partner at the gym. Can I say, it is sweet, but it's the first answer that Lisa's not been honest about, because if I can open the door onto this she was actually quite pissed off about it to start off

with not the not the transformation but me going to the gym because I was going to work and then I was coming back and going I'm going to the gym and uh she found it quite well obviously if you do if you work as much as I do and then go, when I come home, I'm just going to go off to the gym. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to lie, it caused some friction. I'm surprised you didn't mention that, Lisa.

Brings it to being so honest. What is your least favourite show he has presented and why? What? Are you telling me that's not a diggy question? Are you joking? Oh, God. No, that is a diggy question? Are you joking? Oh, God. No, that is a diggy. Imagine if she said his latest stand-up just before the tour.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Anything he's done post-2020. That is a bit of a diggy question, but we balanced it out. That was a lovely answer. Yeah, it was a lovely answer. Yeah, thank you, Lisa. Thank you.

Okay, Jesus Christ. This is so horrible. This is quite so much. I think it's worse than I imagined it. Can I just tell you what I'm slightly nervous about? Yeah. Is that because I don't know what she said, I'm nervous I'm going to say something worse than what she said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking, you know, self-preservation here. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. But do you just want the answer on this? No, no, no, no. Well, I think it's probably... No, because it's not what was bad or good.

It's what she's not a big fan of. What she thought there was a worse. You know, and bear it in mind, she watches very little, so it's difficult for her to give a full appraisal. But I would say Judge Ron... I'm going to give you the answer. That's correct. That's correct, Ron.

She said, to be honest, I don't have one, as I haven't watched some of them. Most of them. Lou don't watch anything. I'll do. That's a point. It is a point, but is it a point taken? I bring to mind she listens to every episode of this podcast

and doesn't watch all of the stuff that her husband does on television. Genuinely, though, Ramesh, there's so much. You're a bit like religion. I can't get into it because there's too much to get my head around. Your output's so broad that you're almost impenetrable. I'm not coming onto this podcast for fun. I speak to you quick enough. Right? I've come on

as a promo opportunity. And then Rob's gone. Direct quote, I can't get into you. It's too much. It's so broad. I'm down for a newcomer. Do you know what I mean? If you want to get into a match, I'll tell you where you start.

I'll tell you where you start, Rob. Exeter Northcott Theatre, January the 24th. Douglas, March the 14th, last few tickets. Brighton, 18th, 19th, 20th, 25th, 26th, 27th of April.

Belfast, the 4th of May, extra date. May the 9th, Bournemouth. May the 23rd, Eastbourne. May the 24th, the O2. May the 25th, the O2. May the 28th, Cardiff. May the 29th, Cardiff. 30th, 31st of May, Birmingham.

Nottingham, the 1st of June. Hull, the 6th of June. Leeds, the 7th of June. And then Manchester to end on the 8th of June, Hull the 6th of June Leeds the 7th of June and then Manchester to end on the 8th of June that's where I see Romesh Do you know what Josh, you really are well on your way to completing the complete transition to Steve Wright

and can I congratulate you on that Well I would be mate, if you hadn't just taken the plum job on Radio 2 to work with all your other jobs I've been invited to my own roast this is insane just taken the plum job on Radio 2 to work with all your other jobs. I've been invited into my own roast. This is insane.

You've got to get going on. You're taking over from Steph's packed lunch, aren't you? Romesh is the dinner ladies. We're changing it up, though. It's called Romesh's Thali. I'm going to love that. Is he different behind closed doors than his public persona? I don't think I'm different.

Although what I would say is possibly like when I'm tired, I'm sort of, there was an incident a while ago where I was really knackered and sort of I came downstairs and we were having breakfast and Lisa was talking to me and I would say it's to me and I was, I would say it's fair to say I was responding in sort of monosyllabic grunts and sort of just being a bit of a, and she was going, God,

you're fun, aren't you? Whatever. It was sort of like a bit, you know, it was on the, I would say it's flirting on the edges of a disagreement. Do you know what I mean?

In terms of what I was bringing to the breakfast, I was about to say session. That's not what happened. Do you know what, Rom? You've been down on yourself there, actually, but she's very positive. He's quieter and more sensitive than he comes across on TV. Well, how would she fucking know?

She doesn't watch any of it. I assume she's put a meme up. Yeah, yeah. I imagine. Does he command much respect in the home um i i think this this is a mixed this is a mixed bag of an answer this question i would say that sometimes i could be accused of being a little bit like uh robin williams character in mrs doubtfire not the cross-dressing but the uh you know the sort of she was doing yeah yeah yeah the sort of

uh you know she was his wife was doing the sort of... Scott Jackson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sort of, you know, she was, his wife was doing the kind of the serious parenting and then he would sort of throw a party or whatever. I feel like sometimes I can be guilty of being a bit fun-timed at, do you know what I mean? I'd say she's given a nicer version of that. Does he come on much respect in the home? No, not really.

That's a bad start, obviously, but he treats the children as equals and likes to have a laugh with them. You're like Laura Koonsberg reading out something to a politician. Obviously, it's not a bad start, but what's your opinion on this? If he ever raises his voice, which is rarely odd. Josh, you made it out like that was a nice answer.

Does he command a lot? Let's just get down to the nub of that, of Lisa's answer there. Does he command a lot of respect? No, not really. That is the main crux of that answer. He treats him as equals. That's not a compliment, is it? No, if he ever

raises his voice, which is rarely, or has to speak to the boys about something, they all know it must be serious. That's good. That's good. It shows that they give you respect when you need it. Can I ask you an opinion on something a parenting opinion are you guys supposed to be expert

what's the role on this no no no yeah we are actually yeah not even supposed to be we are we just are we're not even supposed to be we are

just if we went on we could go on GB News as parenting gurus Rob and Josh yeah you know then they go like that you definitely could go on GB News

Rob if you were doing it GB not GB News what am I talking about I don't know if it pays well and there's nothing else on our go that's your TV aspiration You definitely could go on GB News, Rob. GB, not GB News. What am I talking about? I don't know. If it pays well and there's nothing else on it, I'll go. And a last slip there, Rob. That's your TV aspiration.

All I'm saying is if all the work dries up, I can have a couple of views for a couple of quid. Say no more. Bit Italian. My question is, have you ever told your kids off and then realised you've got it wrong? If you tell your kids off and you realise you've got it if you if you tell your kids off and you realize you've got it wrong what do you do do you let on to them apologize

apologize okay that's what i do that's what i do i think i think they respect seeing that you're not like that you're fallible that you're not trying to be perfect and also it's just fair isn't it if you snap at someone anyone just because their kid doesn't mean you get what you can go look i'm sorry about that. I was stressed. I shouldn't have done it. Let's move on from it. I think that's good, Ron.

Yeah. So it's okay to sort of say, look, I'm sorry. I got it wrong. You know, it's my first time doing this. I don't know what I'm doing either. Let's just hold on and see what happens. Is that? Yeah.

I think so. Yeah. But not, I wouldn't say not as pathetically. No. You know, I think like, oh, I'm sorry I snapped you a bit there. I've been a bit stressed sorry not like oh i'm making it oh it's my first time doing this you know i don't think that i don't think you need to do that i don't really i didn't win i'll give you the next question is quite similar but it's

very positive answer so i'm just gonna give you that do the kids listen to him yes they do he has a very loving relationship with all three of them he is not afraid to tell them he loves them or kiss or hug them that's nice you're that's nice it's lovely yeah go on oh god that is a good one josh go on what day is bin day oh no this is how they get the prime minister on the one show you know they ask how much yeah what i mean who does bins the situation is is that you know they ask how much is a pint of milk yeah what i mean who does bins the situation is is that you know bin day in the crawley area is is fluid uh and it can often change if it doesn't christmas it's sometimes and sometimes i like to take the bins out uh you know earlier because uh all right when is it though when is it this week then if it's fluid when is it though? When is it this week then, if it's fluid?

Thursday? It's Friday, I'm afraid. So does Lisa do the bins? Look, I'm away a lot. Oh yeah, because I don't travel, do I? With you. Oh God. I'm always at home, eh? Okay.

Genuinely. Do you know what? Sunday night. Can I just say, third and final time. Third and final time, Omi. Oh, Rob, you'll be promoting something soon. And it'll be this or Stephen Bartlett. You're always choosing this. Come on.

And then Flo will be going to be, Flo will be going to be, oh, you said you never wanted to go back on that. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. But just could we have a word with the lads, please? Is it possible? I hate that impression, by the way. Sorry, mate. Okay.

Come on. Do you ever suspect he works so much to get out of parenting and household? Oh, God, I don't know where bin day is. No, I'm not doing it to get out parenting and house i'm doing it from a you know an ongoing fear and uh you know i'd say i'd agree loving father and husband totally agree and tell you wouldn't agree trauma that forces him into these yeah exactly tell you doesn't agree with that uh lisa who says, yes, sometimes, particularly in lockdown, where he did no homeschooling, but made a clip which went viral on YouTube about homeschooling.

Mate, it was so mad, right? So I was doing Ranganation from the garage. And they said, you know like when they say to you... What a mad sentence. He's recording Ranganation from the garage And they said You know like When they said to you What a mad sentence He's recording his TV show From the garage Lisa's out there Defrosting the car

Fucking hell What the fuck Meanwhile So they asked me to do Like you know When they ask you to do Like social media Like clips

Promo stuff Yeah So they said Just anything you're thinking of So I just did a thing About homeschooling I didn't know it was going to, like, basically start getting shared.

You know, in the same way that, like Parenting Hell, you had no idea that this was going to be any good. And it's not good, it's just popular, isn't it? Yeah, it's just, I don't think, anything with kids, just, it's such an easy win online really. Yeah, I remember you two saying, like, I was asked to talk about anything else, it would have been a disaster. I remember when you guys started talking

about it, Josh was going, I said it, Chloe, a disaster I remember when you guys started talking about it Josh was going I said it Clay I just think parents is where the money is you know there's always more there's more coming all the time people keep reproducing

cha-ching cha-ching it's a word in four but um so the clip the clip went big and then what happened was this

like a mum shared it with sent it to Lisa. I said, can you say thanks to Rom for like doing this clip for everybody homeschooling? And she came upstairs and I was doing like a writing day. I was on Zoom. And she said,

can you mute that a second? I muted it. And she goes, I've just been sent this video about you giving advice to people doing homeschooling. What I'd like to know is these are exact words. What the fuck do you know about homeschooling? Those are exact words. I can picture her saying that as well,

because she's so, like, polite and clear. What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, God. Oh, God. This is great. Okay, final question right great what was the one thing he does as a parent and partner that you think is amazing and you're so grateful for you don't need to answer that rom that'd be a weird thing for you to answer yeah romesh he's an amazing role model for the three boys he spends time with each of them differently and always makes time to speak

to them every day if he is away he'll have three different text conversations with with each of them differently and always makes time to speak to them every day. If he is away, he will have three different text conversations with each one of them, for instance. It doesn't matter how busy he is, he always checks in with them. Oh, wow. That is really sweet. I would say she's put a bit of extra stank on that. I'm probably not as good as she's making out there. She's one group chat, isn't she?

Well done. She saved it at the end there. The thing I take from that is she does think you're really busy, doesn't she? She does think. Yeah. I mean, that is she does think you're really busy, doesn't she? Yeah. I mean, when somebody says, what is he really good at? And they say, having text conversations with his children.

It's like he's in prison. He smuggles that phone in up his arse. He always checks in on them from Mongolia. He's such a great dad. The group chat's called The Children Season 14. So there we go.

Thanks for that, guys. I'd say that painted you in a very good light, Rom. Yeah. To the point where I was slightly disappointed. Yeah, no, sure. I do feel like there was a lot of guarded digs in there.

She's been very clever about sort of pretending to be nice, but actually if you get to the underneath of it, it's... Also, what I quite enjoyed was, like, you ended up talking about your body transformation. She's like, yeah, I'm really proud. You know, he's done well, dedicated. Also, now I've got a training partner, because I don't know if you know, I train.

I do a bit. it's not the only one absolutely ripped as shit in this house if anything I'm more ripped before actually yeah even more so now

um Rom so you are going on tour yeah your new show Hustle okay Hustle

Josh has read out all the dates I'm gonna well I didn't read out all the dates I read out the ones that are on last few

I didn't read out the sold out ones. Do you want me to read them out in case people want returns? Is that alright, just to reinforce to people? I think they can find it on the website, can't they? Do not think about going to Yeovil, Chichester, Bury, St Edmunds, Lincoln, Lincoln, Basingstoke, Cheltenham, Cheltenham,

Basingstoke again, Reading, Reading, Northampton, Northampton, Woking, Leicester, Leicester, Portsmouth, Portsmouth, Southend, Southend, Southend, Oxford, Oxford, Ipswich, Ipswich, Southend, Leicester, Leicester, Portsmouth, Portsmouth, Southend, Southend, Southend, Oxford, Oxford, Ipswich, Ipswich, Southend, etc. Well, you guys were kind enough on our little WhatsApp group to tell me that you'd give me some advice on playing arenas. You're very smug about it.

I said, when your head goes in the interval, ring us because our heads went as well. And you'll be fine. Well, I think you used that word. If you want any advice on playing arenas please do feel free to get in touch

or something like that do you know the best bit of playing arenas Rom is the bit where you walk around with your lanyard on yeah and you feel like you're kind of

in a band backstage that's a fun bit do you know what the worst bit is is when you see about 80 people and five lorries and you go fucking hell they're only here because I am. That's the bit that got him hired.

And then you go over that. See, Rob thought they're only here because I am. I thought, overheads. Fucking hell. That's eating into the profit. They're all fucking eating on my dollar. You've got to be kidding. There's an Itasca next door.

Is that a second sandwich you're having there, mate? You're only doing the fucking lights. I don't think we should give out bottle water. Maybe just everyone bring their own because of the environment. There's a tap over there. Stick your head under it. We went on a family trip to see 50 cent me lisa and our and our eldest and um a lot on the thing they flashed up that i was we went to the o2 and they flashed up yeah to to show

like upcoming shows and like they showed hustle and um theo looked at me as if that realization had not bigged me up in his eyes, but taken a bit of gloss off the O2. You weren't the other way. Yeah. 50 Cent must be struggling. My dad's playing it. What's going on? Yeah, exactly. I thought it was still a big deal.

Alicia and the boys are going to come, because it is, you know, you're such, I know this sounds a bit disgusting, because we're mates here, but you are one of the best stand-ups in the country, and you're going to smash this tour, and I'm very excited to see it. Because the last two you did sort of grew and got out of hand and there was COVID and all that and it all started fairly small and then went mega when you sold out the Hammersmith Apollo

for like 20 days. But it was all a bit come out of nowhere. Well, this has been planned for ages. It's such a huge event. Are the boys coming? Are you going to have them at the O2? Are they excited? They are them at the O2? Are they excited? They are coming to the O2.

I think so. On the Friday, I'm doing an after party, the Indigo, like a hip-hop after party. So they're all coming to the show. And then Theo, our eldest, is coming to the after party. Oh, nice. Which is a mixed blessing, isn't it? No, it's amazing, Robbie.

It's an amazing thing to be able to share with your kids and to be present there and enjoy it. However, the gig's gone as well. Just, you know, you've got to enjoy it. The way I was found. Hold on, hold on, Josh. What do you mean, however the gig's gone? You know what I mean.

There'll be gigs you come off where we're all perfections. You all want it to go as well as it possibly could. And there'll be one little joke that didn't, because in a 90-minute show or whatever, there'll always be one little thing that didn't hit perfectly that you can allow your anxiety to cling onto and ruin your evening. Or you can go, yeah, do you know what? I didn't hit it perfectly, but I still did the joke

and an arena full of people laughed. Tomorrow I'll make sure I pick up on that one, but not wallow in it or get it in your head because it's a waste of energy. And when Rob comes and watches, he'll take your side afterwards and go, look, that bit didn't work, but put that behind you. As you walk off stage. Try and let go of that anxiety. Did I tell you about my incident with Mark Schwarzer?

Have I told you this story? The goalkeeper. The former Middlesbrough goalkeeper. Correct, yeah. Have I told you this story? The goalkeeper? The former Middlesbrough goalkeeper. Correct, yeah. Have I told you this story? No, you haven't. No, sorry. So, I was doing Hammersmith Apollo. It wasn't even the last tour. It was a tour before.

And I made the mistake of having my Twitter, like looking at my Twitter in the interval, right? That is absolutely... I know, I know. Listen, I know. I think that is that that i know i know i know i listen i know i know i think that that is awful okay so anyway do that i know and anybody any aspiring comedians out there that's self-harm i know hunting pain i know i know i know i know like a pig for fucking truffles. You've got that snout in the social media.

And that truffle was low self-esteem. Anyway, I saw a tweet that said, really not enjoying. Really not enjoying. Right, so obviously that just stuck in my head. So he just tweeted really not enjoying. He didn't tweet it. He didn't tweet it.

Just some randomer did, right? And has he tagged you in on that? you searched your name they tagged me in they tagged me in right so it's just like not really enjoying this so i went out for the second half and as you can imagine i was having an out-of-body experience right i'm sort of going through the motions doing the material but all i can think of is this one person out there absolutely hates it right and then afterwards i go into the bar people are laughing yeah it doesn't matter doesn't matter does not matter it does not matter right if anything they're idiots for laughing because there's somebody that actually somebody knows the truth that this is trash right yeah

you morons are lapping it up idiots right so anyway i do? So anyway, I do the rest of the show. I go into the bar afterwards and Mark Schwartzer has come to the show and he's in the bar, right? And I am spinning out, but I don't want to be rude. So I'm just like,

let me just go into the bar. Yeah. So you're speaking out because of the tweet, not because you've never met Mark Schwartzer. No, because of the tweet. I can't believe

Mark Schwartzer's come. This is blowing my fucking mind. He played for Fulham. Romesh is pushing 50 cent out the way. He's pushing past all these celebs. Mind her out, Pharrell.

Fucking hell, mate. You brought your goalie gloves? No shit. Nas, shut the fuck up a second. So, so like like i so i um i i just mark schwartz says hello to me but i am totally i'm totally out of it right because i'm just like this is terrible i'm terrible at stand up i shouldn't say hello you know and i feel and and i say hello to some other people and then i just leave i'm trying to get out of there i just want to be polite say my lows and loot i don't think anything

it's the bar at your after the show drinks the guests have been invited to just leave me the fuck alone i want to get out of here that was great mark schwartz has paid extra for a meet and greet got his gloves on. Don't drop pints. Keep hold of them all. Eight months later, I am just in bed one morning and I get a text message from a mate going,

you're getting coated off on fighting talk. All right. And I look it up. You're in bed at 11am. Lisa's downstairs doing some math homework. I think it was bin day. Anyway, I get a text from Skan

you're getting cut off on Fighting Talk. Anyway, it turns out that the question on Fighting Talk is about celebrities who once you finally met them, is quite disappointing. Oh, no. Oh, no. Who's on there, Schwartz?

Big boy Schwartz. No. What's he said about you? Did you listen to that? He just said that, like, he wasn't horrible, but it wasn't complimentary either. It was sort of like, he just said that like, he wasn't horrible, but it wasn't complimentary either. It was sort of like, I went to see him, I was looking forward to seeing him and I went over to say hello to him and he just didn't seem that bothered at all.

Like he just was like a bit cold. I can't remember the exact wording, but basically I didn't come across, I didn't come across well in that exchange. Anyway, it gets worse. It gets worse. Well, I DM'd him on Twitter to... Oh, no. You did what I did with Alex Scott.

Yeah. Why do I attract these little losers? Both of you. Oh, Alex Scott. Oh, Mark Schwarzer. Come on, lads. It doesn't matter. She's still not replied.

Have you heard about the Alex Scott thing, Romesh? No, what is it? Go on, tell me. What happened? I went to Madonna at the O2. That's not the bad bit. Carry on. And I heard about the Alex Scott thing, Romesh? No, what is it? Go on, tell me. What happened? I went to Madonna at the O2. That's not the bad bit. Carry on. And I was in the box.

And I thought, there's no one. It was like a, I don't know. It's like, I was like, I don't know anyone in the box except the people I'm with. And then afterwards, Rose was like, oh, Alex Scott enjoyed it, didn't she? I was like, what? And she was like, Alex Scott was in the box with us.

I've never met Alex Scott before, but I felt bad for ignoring her, even though... Oh, God. God, Josh. Even though we'd never met her, it's just two famous people in a box. This is absolutely awful. Guess what he did? I DM'd her apologising

for ignoring it it's worse every time I come back to it actually it's just so weird what did you give as a reason what did you say I don't know I don't think did you say? I don't know. I don't think... Did you say you didn't recognise me?

Oh, no, I said I've just been told you're in the box and I didn't see you. Sorry if I... Oh, right, okay. But this is quite a small, those boxes, aren't they? Have you tried... Did you go for a second DM? No.

But I DM'd her and she replied straight away. Is that true? Yeah, I said, Hi, Alex, was you at Madonna with Josh Willicombe a few weeks ago? She went, hello, yeah, ha-ha. I sure was laughing. yeah I said hi Alex was you at Madonna with Josh Willicom a few weeks ago she went hello yeah haha I sure was

laughing it was a good concert oh my god because she's obviously I think she's laughing at the apology from Josh for not saying hello

to a woman he's never met or been introduced to oh no yeah it's better to leave that I actually I mean for me

I think so why did you DM Swartz I'm going to DM Swartz. How big is he, by the way, before I give him some shit? Massive. Can I DM him? So did you DM him,

Rom? Yeah. I just said to him, look, I was going through, it's really bad. I'm actually embarrassed. I mean,

I've deleted my Twitter account now, so I couldn't even access it if I wanted to, but I just DM'd him. You can still search your name on there, though. I do a lot. I, I,

yeah, first of all lot. I'm joking. First of all, you're not joking, okay? Don't try and back out of it, okay? You obviously do that. I don't, I'm not on Twitter anymore. No, you quite clearly do do that. And then you realise the mask is slick. I used to tweet, no, this is the truth.

I used to search my own name for the same reasons as you, searching hate to confirm my inability to use this piece of shit. Imposter syndrome shouldn't be here. They're all going to find out. Oh, God, let me keep an eye on it to make sure it's not picking up a head of steam. Yes. Like a movement. Just keep an eye on it so I know when to sort of cash in on advert jobs before the wave comes and I'm gone so I used to do that but I've I've got I'm logged out on all my stuff now so I don't so

I can't do it because it doesn't let you know on Twitter either Rob I've got an account but I don't I don't I'm not logged in I don't read any messages or anything but I've just got it there so if I have to tweet something to sell some tickets I just send the link to someone at the office and they post it for me. Because I just basically find hate. Yeah, he just does that and occasionally searches his name. That's all he does, isn't it? Yeah, he uploads all the time. It's horrible. All night, sometimes.

So what did you DM Swartz? I just said to him, listen, I heard that you mentioned me on Fighting Talk. I bet he shat himself when he saw your name appear in his DMs. Well, I was very apologetic i said look i gosh do you know what i think i over egged the situation come on give me because i because i felt too embarrassed this is so bad i actually regret starting to tell this story come on give us the omelette i i just um i didn't want to say i didn't

think you'd understand that I'd read it. It's too difficult to go, I read a tweet that spammed me out for the second half. Because that's, yeah. So I just said, I was just, I was just going through a tricky time at the time. One person didn't like my sold out show i got really down five more at the apollo to follow that is the thing that is the thing that other like lisa cannot like you know other halves they totally legitimately they they want to empathize with you

but coming home to your wife and her going are you okay and you go not really and you go why did the show go badly no did uh was it was it not no how did it go really well so what happened then i got a tweet saying that one person was enjoying it and it really spun me out. I mean, what the hell are you doing? He might have liked the second half as well. You only got half the review.

I enjoyed the second half because the light went out of his eyes and he just looked like he was really within himself. He sort of looked like he had an inner darkness that I quite enjoyed for the second half. Yeah, it's quite weird watching it. There'll be someone at home that did that, not knowing that they basically took someone's dream gig and managed to ruin it all because of that.

They'll be delighted though, won't they? Yeah. Because that's why they do it, if they're telling you in. I don't think a lot of... Some do it like that, but also some people just think of us as like a chinese takeaway where you go we're doing that tonight stay and have a chinese or go and watch some comedy what was the chinese i didn't really like it was a bit cold what was the common like no we weren't really

that into it was all right but it's not personal it's just at that time he might not have even been at the gig rom i'm just gonna start looking at where people are on tour, tweet out at about 9pm. It's not really enjoying Romesh in Halifax. It's a good way to sort of ruin second halves of shows. I suspect it might be another comic. I would say if you're not enjoying a show, don't tweet about that show at halftime because comics are so pathetic and insecure.

We will look. It's not going to get better after that message. We're all around the shoulder players. We don't need the hairdryer treatment. Having said that though... If he tweeted tweeted i think romesh can turn this round in the second half maybe that would be more positive yeah that would be nice but yeah really terrible first really horrible first 45 um but i did but what i did happen was i i had a moment like a few like about two years later I hadn't learned my lesson I was looking on social media and somebody I was doing a show in Edinburgh right and somebody said not enjoying

this but I knew the gig was going really well didn't affect me at all guys that's what you call progress yes if Mark Schwartzer had been at the Edinburgh gig I would have been an absolute delight after that show the feedback on fighting totaled what a great guy actually yeah what did you want to say when you told him he's having a tricky time he just said i wasn't i didn't mean it he said what did he say it was something along the lines of i wasn't saying that you were bad i was just saying that you sort of looked a bit like not that fussed yeah to chat do you know what i mean which to be fair like sometimes you are i suppose if you're mark schwarzer day-to-day people are just

blown away to chat to you it must be quite like a shock to the system when someone's not excited to talk about your middle do you know the thing is though sometimes the other thing is i don't know if you feel this but like the nerves that you have about bumping into somebody that doesn't straight after a show you know like just generally that they might suddenly give you their take on the show on how you absolutely don't want a review of your show immediately after the show no no i mean so it's like i'm on high alert slightly yeah i do think spitting in his drink and walking out the bar was too much

can you imagine that though that delayed action of that you leave the bar and you think I did alright there I sort of gave a good account of myself I did what I had to do and then 8 months later Ron when we did the O2 Eight months later. Ron, when we did the O2, we followed Elton John,

which I found quite thrilling. Do you want to know who you're on after? And this gives you a feel of the kind of company you keep. Okay, go on. Nickelback, and then the Premier League darts, and then Romesh. I can't see people doing the triple header. Actually, do you know what?

For the second O2 date, we are actually doing a double actually. It's called Nickel Romesh. If you fancy watching both those nights. Amazing. There we go. Well, enjoy it, Ron. It's amazing for you to have done.

Well done. Is there any particular place you want them to buy the tickets or just Google it? Just Google it. Not in a Mosaic one. But please can you not buy tickets from... Oh, no, no, sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean a venue.

I meant website that you can send them on. No, no, but please can I just say, do not buy tickets from Viagogo, or whatever the hell they're called. Oh, yeah, they're terrible. Yeah, romeshoranganathan.co.uk forward slash tour. And also, don't get tickets off.

If you bump into my mum and she promises you comps or whatever, can you just ignore that, please? Because that has been happening a lot. How many is she's handing out to people for various things i mean if somebody was nice to her in a shop she'll offer them free tickets if somebody from a car insurance company's been nicer on the phone she'll offer them free tickets i mean it's uh the currently the we have to have a line on the costings for the tour that's Romesh's mum's freebies. Rom, my mum does the same.

She came with her mate the other day. I found out it's the woman that takes her trousers up when they're too long. And she brought her along with my mum and dad and her. Rom, good luck with the tour.

I won't keep you because you're busy today. Good luck with the tour. It's called Hustle. The Hustle tour. For sold-out shows, please visit Twickets. Yeah, there you go. You've got a little run and then the bigger ones.

Oh, mate, it's amazing. I'm well excited for you. Yeah, this is brilliant. Well, it's nice for you to tie up this, what has essentially been a sort of going over with a couple of nice bits at the end there. Thank you. Appreciate you.

Pleasure. Anytime. What are you two doing? I feel like you were quite engaging. Now I'm just watching you two sort of look on the internet. I'm looking at your tour dates. I'm. Pleasure. Anytime. What are you two doing? I feel like you were quite engaged in it. Now I'm just watching you two sort of look on the internet. I'm looking at your tour dates. I'm looking at your tour dates. That is fucking mesmerising.

I'm sorry for looking at your tour that we're trying to promote. Yeah, actually. Fucking idiot. Would you do that on Steve Wright? What's that piece of paper you're looking at, Steve? We can change this up. Do you want more energy? Cool.

You're struggling in Cardiff. Do you want that?? Cor, you're struggling in Cardiff. Do you want that? Is that what you want? Right. See you later. Thanks, guys. Good luck with your fucking tour, you prick. At least you don't have to split the fucking

O2 in half with him. Right, see you later. Right, see you later. Bye-bye. Bye.