Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP40: Cush Jumbo

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant actress and writer - Cush Jumbo. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] NEW ALBUM OF THE SAME NAME IS OUT MAY 10TH - PRE-ORDER HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a change of scenery? Come on over. Let us give you the tour. Grab a paddle and explore.

Hit the trails and go. When you're ready, kick back and call it a night. New Brunswick, always inviting. Visit tourismnewbrunswick.ca. always inviting. Visit TourismNewBrunswick.ca people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today at SunriseChallenge.ca. That's SunriseChallenge.ca.

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Buy it today at major retailers. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Orvin, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdecombe? Josh Widdecombe. Good girl. There we go.

There we go. What have we got there, Josh. Claire Dockty. Hello, you sexy and relatable pair. Thanks for the podcast. It definitely gives a lot of laughs on dog walks and long days at home with the kids. This is Morven, my two and a half year old, her four month old brother Rory, playing quietly in the background.

A rare event. Morven is a typical Scottish redhead with a temper to match. Claire Dundee Scotland. I was gonna say Morvan's definitely a Celtic name isn't it? Yes. Scotland. Have you played in Malvern Rob? Have you done Malvern on your tours? Oh Malvern rings a little well. Malvern I have gigged there. Yeah. What's that? What's the theatre? That's not near that's nowhere near it is it? Malvern. It's kind of Welsh borders I think Malvern. I can't remember. I've gigged there. Yeah. What's that? What's the theatre? That's not near that's nowhere near it is it? Malvern theatre. It's kind of Welsh borders I think Malvern. I've done some places in Wales. There's not a bit ain't done.

No. Absolutely fucked. Great Malvern. That's it. Great Malvern. Great Malvern. Um, you know. Town in England. Mul, Mul, and what was the girl's name? Mulvern.

Mulvern. From Dundee. Mulvern from Dundee. Umven from Dundee. Josh. Sorry Rob. I just, oh for fuck's sake. What's wrong baby? I've just clicked the wrong thing. Oh no, what was it? I've recorded the whole screen. I don't know how I've done it.

Rather than the audio? Yeah, and now I'm recording the whole screen and I don't want to. Oh no, because of what you've got up there. How do you stop it recording? This is a fucking nightmare Rob. Read out some correspondence. We had a huge response about films that are unsuitable for kids. Oh yeah, hit me. So hi Rob and Josh.

Currently listening to your episode on Scary Children's Films and had to write about a film I recently really watched. As a child I loved the film Beethoven. Oh yeah, that was good. This is interesting because my kids want to watch Beethoven. As far as I remember it was a nice film about a dog who's slobbered everywhere, got taken by a bad guys in quotation marks, and then the family rescue him. That's what I thought it was.

You, Josh, have you seen it? Yeah, that's what I remember Beethoven to be. And then there's a sequel called Beethoven's Fourth about having puppies. Yeah, they always cashed in on a few more, but the first was classic. Now fast forward to the present, me and my sister-in-law saw the film was on Netflix and decided to rewatch it. Turns out that the bad guys were actually criminals who are experimenting on animals. And they wanted Beethoven because he had a big

skull. So they wanted to test their ammunition by shooting him in the head. Oh my fucking god. What? There's no need for the reason to be that severe. Just saying that I don't want to sell him on to a rich family that want a certain type of dog. Save to say, I don't think that's the best thing to lay your children to watch, but given I didn't clock what was happening

when I was a child, maybe certain things do go over your head. Thanks fucking. But that's such a good example of how you're more, are you more worried about how it's going to affect your children than your children themselves are affected by? Josh, I've watched that. Am I okay?

Well, the jury is still out. The jury is still out. Is this generation, this absolutely anxious crippled generation still okay? And do you think it's all down to Beethoven? Yes, I do actually. That big fucking slobbery mess of his big old skull. Now, another this is another one. Following on from the scary film chat. When I was about five, my dad thought it would be funny to let me watch Scream.

Whoa, I mean, that's that's not that is a clear error. That's more boomer parenting that than the actual film. Yeah. The next day when we all came home from school, we followed my mum into the kitchen and my dad was stood in the garden with a leather jacket and a screen mask on, holding a kitchen knife up at the window. Oh for fuck's sake. Fucking hell. Poor Rachel.

That was her dad. Haven't watched a horror film since. No shit. You're better off watching that but not going round to see your dad I think at this rate if he's stood in the garden with a knife. He's still in the garden with a knife Josh. Yeah, that's not on is it? Oh, Josh, we've got nappy etiquette. nappy etiquette? What's that? We asked about if you're around someone's house and there's a messy

nappy. Yeah. What to do with it? Do you put it outside bin or normal bin or just bag it up and put it in your bag? There's a lot of messages. Hi Robin Josh. I'm pleased to finally have something to email about. Still recording the screen. I thought I'd got rid of it. Does this affect what we're doing, Michael? No, it's fine. Okay. Yeah, that's good. Just in general, like could me and you just do it, Michael?

I mean, because you know, I love Josh, but do you know what I love more? Half of a third. I think we're not far away. If I wrote two pages of script and got him to read it out, we could just use an AI Josh. Yes. There we go. Yeah, that'll be good. I've got enough Oh my gods in the cam.

Oh my god. Let me show you this, sorry. Just get like, you know, like Woody, we get a doll of Josh that you pull the string, and instead of someone poisoning the water hole, it goes, come on, let me show you that, Froshoi. I'm sorry. Hi, Robin Josh. I'm pleased to finally send you something to email about, but I bet I'm not the only one to share this nugget,

no pun intended, of information with you about nappies. Regarding recent episode, in brackets, season eight, in brackets, season eight, episode 35. That's too many, isn't it? That's like Seinfeld, eight series, we were on the 35th of eight. Jesus.

Where you thoroughly discussed the disposal of poo in various forms. Did you know that you should empty poo into the toilet, then dispose of the nappy? What? I've never, I just never... Yeah, but they're not... They're stuck to it often.

What kind of dehydrated, dry log shits are your kids knocking out? Mine is... I'd say the poo and the nappy are one together. With my children, not with myself, just to be clear. But I think you'd have to spoon it out. I think it's mental. From Eve, mum to um, oh, I think this is Irish. A-O-I-F-E. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Aoife. Ao age not the pronunciation. Loyal listener and fellow Bromley residency, you're the one clogging up on their shitter with nappy poos. I think if you can and it's a full lump then do that but I think that's weird, don't you? Yeah I do, I do. So what should I bring my dog poos in from the

garden and flush them? Well, Lou's not gonna do it. Oh god. Right, I've got Dead Cat Disaster, seems a bit bleak, Boomer parenting. Is that a film you shouldn't show your children? Lies you tell children. Let's do dead cat disaster. You can't tempt us with that. And then let me give you a quick normal, not normal. Okay, yeah. Please can you use your normal, not normal barometer to help resolve a long running

argument between myself and my husband. Brushing your teeth in the shower. I think it's clearly, have you got an immediate thought on this Josh? Do you want me to read out Scarlett and Brighton's views? Are they using the hot water in their own mouth? Right. Let me, let me finish this. Um, I think it's clearly something only an absolute psychopath would do. Who brushes their teeth with hot water.

But my husband is adamant is completely normal. Thanks for laughs keeping us sane whilst we attempt to parent a daughter in the midst of the terrible to stay sex and relatable scarlet in Brighton. Now Josh, what's your immediate feedback here? I wouldn't want the hot water in my mouth, but there's a bit like when your children put water from the bath in their mouth and you think I know it's wrong, but really it's fine. I'm sure you can get shower water in your mouth. I don't see you saving that much time. Water-wise, are you swilling your mouth out by like opening

your mouth and facing up and letting it rain into your mouth? Oh God, that's horrible. I used to love a shower beer before a night out. Yes, but I did as well. But I think that sort of points a finger at deeper problems. I certainly did. As it turned out. But I think when you're in that kind of headspace, and I've been there as well, anywhere is good with a beer.

The old shower beer, the bus beer, pre-dreams beer, the afters beer, the barbecue beer, airport beer, sat on the sofa beer, sat on a bench beer, lying down in my own sick beer. You know, there's loads of different beers. Divorce courts beer. But yeah, I used to love that, but I worried about the shower water getting in the beer. Did it really matter? Not enough.

I think it's the heat more than anything. Brush your teeth in the shower. You know, if you're having a cold shower, fine. If you're doing a Wim Hof style shower, fine. Yeah. Are you keeping the toothbrush and the toothpaste in the shower? I think hot water and brushing your teeth is unacceptable. If he's having a cold shower, I'd let him off.

But even just not in the shower, hot water and brushing your teeth is weird, I think. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Do you want dead cat disaster? Have we got time for dead cat disaster, Michael? Yeah, we've got time. Dear Rob, Josh and sexy Michael, we too once owned two identical black cats. Four weeks into lockdown, when our girls Bronwyn and Holly were 60 months and 26 months old, one identical black cat died unexpectedly. We were horrified that so soon after taking away schools, such as nursery and any form of human contact,

apart from with ourselves, we were now going to have to give them their first experience of pet death. We struggled to know what to say, so we didn't mention it for a few days to gather our thoughts. Imagine our smugness when the days turned into weeks and it turned out that our girls just didn't notice. Just didn't notice one of the cats had gone. We had dodged the bullet we thought. Job done and everything was great. Or so we thought.

Until several months later when the other black cat died. Oh no. Now faced with telling them that that both black cats had died, earlier smugness disappeared. We didn't know how to explain that both cats had died or hows and whys. So we ended up telling them both cats had laid down in the garden and died together.

Oh. To our astonishment, they both accepted that. Ha, of course, they're five and three. That's proving that children probably believe anything you tell them. I'm sure in years to come, they'll ask me if the cats really did die in this way. Just in the same way I asked my parents

when I was in my twenties, if our chihuahua, Peppy, had really gone to live on the farm. Please, never stop the podcast. I hope to grow older, you guys. The material never stop. Before we know it, we'll all be grandparents and the children will talk about how we need to be persuaded to go into a care home. Lots of love Caroline, age 536 months. Done well that.

Brilliant. Brilliant. Thank you for all your emails. Keep them coming in. But now we have a guest. Lovely guest. Michael, who's the guest? Kush Jumbo. Oh, it's Kush Jumbo. Great guest. We love this's the guest? Kush Jumbo. Oh, it's Kush Jumbo. Great guest. We love this one. We love Kush Jumbo. She's brilliant. This is a superb episode with a superb human being. This is Kush Jumbo.

Hello, Kush Jumbo. Hello. There's the intro. That's it done. Thanks for doing this. We're very excited. Thanks for having me. It's so nice to come on something where you can like actually talk about real stuff rather than just your hack thing all the time. Oh yeah, like when you have to go on the one show and if you're doing something that's

quite deep you have to go like, yeah well it was a very difficult thing to portray and stuff but you can be yourself here and say what you want. So talk to us about Macbeth. You mean the Scottish play? Yes. The Scottish play, sorry, sorry. No, no, I always call it Macbeth if it drives people mad.

They refer to it as a Scottish play to make you feel better. And then I just say Macbeth and it makes them feel like they've been cursed. So I quite like it. So what's going on? Why can't you say Macbeth? Here we go.

The classic Macbeth. Okay, right, Rob. There's a big theatrical tradition across hundreds and hundreds of years. Yeah. If you say the word, I mean, even if we're talking about it, it means I'm going to get so much shit for this. Who from? If you say, if you say Macbeth.

Yeah. While you're working on Macbeth, it's supposed to be bad luck. Right. OK. So people don't call it Macbeth, they call it the Scottish play. OK. Right. OK. So you have to call it that when you're working on it. Does Tenn call it Macbeth, they call it the Scottish play. Okay. Right, okay. So you have to call it that when you're working on it. Does Tennant say Macbeth?

We all say Macbeth. Also break a leg, Pete, so you can't say good luck. Yeah, I think it's one of those things that's like wrapped up in Victoriana somewhere, like maybe no one liked saying the word, or they were like, people won't know what the play is about. How will we invite people to come to see it?

How will people know what it is? Macbeth means nothing. We'll call it the Scottish play. People will know it. That it's set in Scotland, you know, like how much I can record to help people. We don't get it. I was like, all these deep names we could call our show, like we could call it, like, you know, this and that. They're like, yeah, but that doesn't really say what it is.

Are you aware of the Sky Planner? Are you aware of people that just go through the Sky Planner? They need to really say what it is. Are you aware of the Sky Planner? Are you aware of people that just go through the Sky Planner? They need to know exactly what it is. Now I am. Channel 5, fucking boss that. Every time you go past Channel 5 on the Sky Planner, it's literally a description of the show. Yeah, life on narrowboat.

20 moments from 2024. Anyway, you've got children, Kush, or a child? Yeah, calm down there. I've got one, just one. One, yeah. What age are we dealing with, Kush? Don't speak from my womb. Yes, I've got one.

I've got one child called Max, Maximillian. Oh, nice. He's just turned six yesterday. Oh. How was the birthday? Good one? Well, okay. Funny you ask. This is like therapy. You can go really deep. So his actual birthday was yesterday and that was a great day. Gave

him presents in the morning, went in really happy to school, took in 30 caterpillar cakes for the class with me having trawled every email I've possibly ever read about any allergy that any kid had. So I was just going to be like, take in Haribo. And then I suddenly had like a bad feeling that it was a bad idea. But I actually, on Saturday, he's just got into Nintendo Switch very recently. Oh, yeah.

I actually got given it in a goodie bag a few years ago, like, you know, awards. And I didn't know it was in there. And I set it up having been one of those like, I wasn't much of a gamer as a kid. So I was never like, oh, he's got to have a video game. And then you get all the guilt about like, should they play video games and stuff like that.

Anyway, he discovered Mario. Mario Wonder has been playing, really likes it. So my mate told me that you could hire the Cineworld for like a couple of hours really early in the morning. It's quite cheap because no one uses it anymore. They can play Nintendo Switch in the Cineworld. Oh wow.

Oh my God, I wanna do that for my birthday. Yes, so I did that for his birthday with like eight of his mates, I thought I'd nailed it, I thought it was gonna be great, amazing. And then Peter Hutt was literally opposite, it's almost in one of those like industrial parts where it's like Cineworld, come out, Peterhut, easy. Right?

The dream. Great birthday. And then it was all set up. But I thought, I stupidly thought that there'd be somebody there like connecting the controllers and like, doing stuff. Oh no. Oh my God. And I also thought-

In a fucking cinema. In the cinema. And I also thought, if there's eight controllers, then obviously every game can be played by eight kids. This is not the case. No. So some of it had to be sharing, or getting into teams, as I called it.

Oh, God. I ended up having to orchestrate most of the party, and I think he really enjoyed it, and his mates really enjoyed it, but I booked that so I would have less work to do. Yes. So I wouldn't have to do the parser parcel and all the rest of it. And actually I ended up giving myself a job.

Like I was basically the buttlicks rep for about four hours. Where did you plug in a switch in a cinema? Where are the wires? Wireless. Oh. So you're in this cinema with eight kids on your own. Was it a drop-off party or were their parents there as well? Wireless. Oh. So you're in this cinema with eight kids on your own. Was it a drop-off party or were their parents there as well?

Drop-off. Drop-off. Fucking hell, mate. Oh my God. I had one or two of my mum friends stay, either very small mum friend circle, and they immediately went and got me a rose as soon as the bar opened. So you see, I was telling. They kind of shoked me and said, it's OK, the bar is at 11.

I just went out and got my raise off. Genuinely, that. I know it sounds bad. I don't want to be frowned upon. But even on holiday with the kids, after a few days, it is just nonstop in the pool, running here, running there. And they're like, I want to do this. And then they argue over who gets to float.

And it's just classic kid stuff. Whether you're on holiday or at home, they're always bickering. But when it gets to mid-day and I've had like, I'll just get a little beer like that, it does, I don't know if it makes parenting easier or you're just dead to it but it does make a difference. Yeah but do you know what, imagine if you went to pick up your kids from school and the teacher's like, come mid-day it got tough mate. I'd have a couple of beers this afternoon, sorry.

Have you ever walked in towards the end, not being one of the early parents to pick up, which I'm not there every day, like a nanny that helps me as well, but sometimes I go and I just catch the energy as I hit the door, as she's releasing them back into the wild, you know, and they get to go and they go, that's your one, that's your one when they're just thrown about. And you get there and you catch their energy of like, you look in that class and you think, fucking hell, 32 kids, one woman, she must be fucked as fuck. Like, really, like that is a lot, isn't it? That's a lot of little energies in one, in close space. I'm not doing you down here, but you've just gone, I had to look after eight children and you had a

Nintendo Switch. You didn't have to teach them anything. I'm one of six and I consistently think about like what the hell my parents, like how they were coping with all two years apart. So it was just like a class of children constantly. I don't know how they weren't drunk. Looking for a change of scenery? Come on over. Let us give you the tour. Grab a paddle and explore.

Hit the trails and go. When you're ready, kick back and call it a night. New Brunswick, always inviting. Visit tourismnewbrunswick.ca. Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? With new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash, you can lather and glow. The 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with Vitamin B3 Complex and has notes of rose and cherry crème for a rich, indulgent experience. Treat your senses with new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. When you were growing up, did you just sort of like break off into little sections of the siblings,

like the sort of the younger three and the older three or? Yeah, because we were also, we were two girls, two boys, two girls. And we were in bedrooms together a lot. And me and my big sister, we danced a lot. We did a lot of like dance. In fact, my dance school was in Mottenham, actually actually. Oh was it? Which one? It was called Cooper School of Dance and it was like in a big community they're all in community centres like in the States. It was always like, I was always like, oh you made a broken glass, always with broken glass for my tap shoes to get in front door.

Yeah, Mottenham's a bit lively for a kid to go dancing. Yeah, like grinding on the floor of community centres a lot when I was six or seven. I remember going to a party when I was 15, I was sick outside a church in a bush in Mottinham. So did you grow up around that way? I grew up in M.Sydnham and Lower Sydnham. Oh yeah, by the massive St. Mary's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, you mean the Saver Centre, it was called the Saver Centre.

Yeah, it was called the Saver Centre and then it went to St. Mary's, it's huge, isn't it? That is biggest in the country. It's the biggest in the country. This is the worst bit of podcasting I've ever heard. Sorry. You've got to remember, Josh, you've got to remember there was a time when you only used to get food from supermarkets. Yeah, yeah.

And then there came a time where you could buy televisions in supermarkets. Yeah. And socks and stuff. And that was the first time that happened in Sydney with Save Center. Oh, yeah. And you got those toys and there was DVDs. The world was in there.

Loved it. Yeah. Get yourself down there, Josh. Well, I've got a connection to you dancing in Mottingham with your sister. My wife went to the British school with your sister. Oh, she was in my sister's year. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. What did she study? Oh, she was in my sister's year. Yeah. Oh my gosh, did she, what did she study? Oh God, I don't know. She said she just smoked and took herself too seriously. Yeah, everybody did that. Yeah, it doesn't narrow it down. It just trains you up for being in the creative industries really. Just smoke and smug it up a bit.

Yeah, she said she was there with Amy Winehouse. They had a bit of a thing, cause they had the same coat. But she was acting. And you might. They had a bit of a thing, cause they had the same coat, but she was acting. And you might say, what was her biggest role? And she auditioned for the advert for More magazine that Billy Piper got where she burst the bubble. Wow. That's her big acting story.

That was quite a big magazine though, at the time. So shove your Macbeth up your ass mate. I know right? I was once down to the last two for a cheese strings advert when I was 11. Really? Interesting. Which is a bit distressing when I watched the advert, it was one where all the kids were like

dancing on the street like this going, bend me, shake me, anyway you want. Oh yeah, that's the advert. And some of the kids were doing back flips in it. Yeah. What's distressing about that is they made it sound like, oh, you were down to the last three, like as if they picked one.

But actually, when you watch it, there's about 35 kids. So essentially, I just didn't make it. Like, top 40? Top 60, yeah. You got down to the last 40 for that job. But you know what? Every commercial audition when you were a kid back then in the 90s, when no one knew what they were doing was you popped to CNA just before

to get something good to wear. And then you went there and they would literally just put on poppies and go, OK, kids, you like cheese, have a good time. And it would just be kids in a room. Just, yes. And then they go, you, you, you, you're through. Is there things you've auditioned for when you've seen who it's gone to, you've gone, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Yes. I've got five. I'll just say yes. Yes. And I'll say that yes, and yes, and we'll leave that. Do you still have to audition or have you reached the stage where you don't have to audition?

You've got an OBE. I mean, this is, you're gonna make me sound like a proper partner. Yeah, but I don't think that gets you an acting job straight. I've got an OBE. I'm glad you're shouting that at them. All right, all right. Rob, chill out.

It helps. It does help. Does it? Right, I need to get one. What have I got to do? I'm joking, yeah. I think I would say- What was your OBE for?

Services to acting or is it charity work? How do you get yours? Because some slip through the net with charity work, don't they? It's for charity work. Yeah, well, well done. Congratulations. In a way that's the better one.

No, I'm joking. No, it was for services to international drama. So it was for work I've done in the UK and work I've done in the US. Congratulations. I think that the last five or six years, I've been really, I hate saying this word lucky because it's not lucky. I work really hard. Yeah, yeah.

I work really hard for years. You make your own luck. I make my luck. I think because I have tried to, probably like you guys have actually, like I've tried to begin to think about how I want to spend my time with the work I do, it takes a lot of time. I've become more involved in the work that I do and because of becoming more involved in it, most of the jobs I do I've either developed from the beginning or I come up with the idea for and then it's a mixture of that and then people coming to me to say, would you like to do this? So I would say like the last five or six years I haven't auditioned at all. But I think people will be like, Oh God, that's nice to be so terrible for you, Kush.

But I definitely I'm not an actor that came out of drama school and shot into the stars. Yeah, yeah. I'm an actor that came out and like worked a million jobs, did all the tiny, tiny parts and really paid my dues. So I feel like I deserve not to audition anymore. Yeah, I do. I do. Right. Would you like your son to be an actor? Having been through it, do you go, oh, it's a tough old gig this. Honestly, I think I sure we get this answer all the time. I growing up in Zidane and Lois Zidane, I had very loving parents. We had very little money. And dance

was really like the only thing we could do because it was the cheapest thing to do. And I would have liked the opportunity to have tried out a few more things. We'd love to play instruments. I would have loved to have swim classes. I would love to travel. So I used to kind of fantasize about all the other things I could do. And I think that went into my imagination and probably made me do what I do. But I think in the long run, if he decides that acting is his thing, I mean, listen, what's annoying is that like, however much you try to shake them into something, we put them in a good school, we do this, we get them a tutor, you can't, they are who they are. My son yesterday spent hours putting together towers of things and then throwing ninja stars at them

and making me record him in slow-mo while he introduced himself at the beginning and bowed out at the end. Now, I didn't ask him to do that. I said to him, this isn't enough fun for me. Evidently, he's decided that he wants to film himself doing those things. He also like he memorizes books, he loves poetry, he's good with a joke. So you can try to like, you know, twist and turn them. I just want him to be happy and not feel like he feels pushed into a job where he hates what he's doing with his life. Yeah, totally. If he's acting, then fine. If he's not very good at acting, that will be a bit harder for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Bring in the jumbo name into disrepute. Rubbing it in the mud, yeah. No, because I think also... We'll have our OBE back, actually. We've seen you, son. Yeah. Yes.

And why don't we use your dad's name? Stuff like that, yeah. You know, because you can be your own person, darling. You can be your own person. Yeah, you can have your own identity then. You don't have to sort of... You don't want to be your mummy's last shadow, do you? No.

Just step out, darling. Just step back, step back. No, mummy wants to do this picture by herself. Just step back. But I think surely that your worst nightmare is sat in a school hall watching the school play and you're the actor and then your kids not the best that must be a lot of pressure on was a lot of pressure on them and you isn't there I

suppose? Yes I think so I mean I found the other thing that happens at school is obviously I'm the actor at the school yeah so there's a lot of things that suddenly end up happening to you I'm sure it happens to you like you, you know, you're always asked for auction items and Really nice to everyone you can't ignore anyone at the gate, you know, okay about and you know I take a different approach to Josh Josh has done about 15 school quizzes already I'll give them a few tickets for a raffle, but that's all I'll do I give him some tickets and then I time my pickups and drop-offs really well. I know exactly what time I need to arrive. Rob do you want to be involved in the PTA? No. It's as easy as it is.

No thank you. No thank you. No no you're right. It would be terrible to have a kid in the school play. It was terrible. Rob would you like to do a comedy night to raise money for this? No. to have a kid in the school play was terrible. Rob, would you like to do a comedy night to raise money for this? Nope. No, I wouldn't actually. No, it's always better just to be like- Yeah, no, no, you heard me.

No, I wouldn't. Just be like, I'm really sorry, I'm filming or I'm away. I just go, how much do you need? I always say, how much do you need? I think that's key though, isn't it? Whatever our kids or anyone's kids end up doing, if you're in a position to offer them options,

like you say, you didn't try that many things, even so I'd end up doing standup, but like I did football at school, but I don't feel like I really, there weren't a million different clubs you could do or things that you might be talented at. I don't think I went to one after school club as a kid. I don't think I ever went to after school clubs.

I don't even know if they even exist. What did you do after school, Josh? Play or watch TV or broad. Yeah I mean that's what we did though isn't it? I think also the world is so different now, you just waited at home for the next day to begin. The world is so different now like in terms of as well what you're actually trying to prepare them for right? Like it's very much like you do this and then you do that in this kind of faux world where they pretended that if you hit that, hit that, by the way, if you haven't hit that, your life is

over. Forget that. You're screwed. And then if you hit that, you'll get to that and then you'll marry someone and then you're done. And now I think it's a bit like, frankly, by the time he's my age, robots will be doing most things. Yeah. So what he needs to be really good at is not being a shit person. Yeah. Make friends, build good relationships and maybe come up with original ideas of some kind. And just be ready for a kind of boiling post-apocalyptic wasteland.

And just be able to swim, think about handmaidens tail-wise. Rising water levels. Yeah, which child will you choose? That kind of stuff. How to hot-tune tomatoes. You know, child will you choose? That kind of stuff. How to hawk ten tomatoes. You know, would you eat human flesh? Stuff like that. Yeah, just follow what you enjoy because if you're a communicative, nice member of society, you're going to end up doing a job where you're good, you're going to have a good life. Whereas you could be

really academic, as I've met a lot of people this way, rising schools, really academic, completely socially inept and a bit of a twat, then you're in the apocalypse, you're done for, I'm not letting you in my book. I don't agree with that because I think most stuff's going to be done by like computer programs and I think you see it now with like stuff like TikToks going massive but live ticket sales to events like you've got Taylor Swift and you know people want to be in the room with and feel like a human connection. So I think focusing on that kind of stuff of dealing with people in social situations will massively be more beneficial than like, I'm really good at Excel. Because you probably don't really need to be that good at Excel soon.

There'll be a program that does Excel. Just ask Siri to do it. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, just going on a date going. And tell me about yourself, tell me about, think of yourself, Ben. Well, I can calculate pi to the nearest, no, no.

That's Joel Domet, he can do that. Joel Domet's got pi tattooed on his arm, hasn't he? To an insane amount of places, like decimal places. Is he married? He is. He's married, Joel, yeah. Oh good, it's good for him. But you've got to remember, he's so good looking that he can do stuff like that. Whereas if I had pie, it'd be like, look at that nerd.

Oh my god, if Josh had pie, it's a hoed on him. People would be like, he's a nerd. Whereas with Joel, they're like, oh, he's got hidden debts, this beefcake. This beefcake's kooky. Yeah, this beefcake's kooky. Anyway, lovely bloke. What's your boy into then? He likes his Switch, but iscake's kooky. Anyway, lovely bloke. What's your boy into then?

He sort of likes his Switch, but like, is he doing clubs or is it, you know, he's getting you filming him doing ninja styles? So he does love swimming. Yeah. He does a bit of yoga on a Monday. He likes the yoga. Oh nice.

I think mainly because they now do yoga stories of everything. So he does Mario yoga, Ninja Turtle yoga. Right. How it works is usually they take the normal yoga poses but they kind of put them into a version of the character. So then the kid goes through a story over 20 minutes and really they'll have ended up

doing all these yoga poses, but they think they're like fighting Shredder. Oh, that's cool. Oh, so it could be like Mario goes into a mushroom to get ready to attack. Oh, now you're jumping between and quick, you've climbed up to the, to get your power up, you better hold on this. And now we're making the mushrooms and stuff like that. Oh, that's amazing. I do. Right. I do that as well. I think I I think I'm six.

All the things that your son does, I want to do Mario yoga. He loves his animals. I've got a really old toy poodle called Henry, who's basically like over 100 because he's 16. And he's still going. He's just had cataract surgery cause he was, he's very frisky other than being very old. And he was kind of, his eyes completely whited out and he just started-

So you say he's very frisky? Yeah, when I say frisky, he doesn't go around shagging. He's not like a pervy old man. Oh right, I was gonna say that's why his eyes are like, when he's still wanking. He's like Michael Winner or Hugh Hefner, one of those kind of old shaggers. Yeah, he's like, what's his face?

String fellow. It's Peter Stringfellow. Peter Stringfellow, yeah, a bit of a Peter Stringfellow. And then I've got, I just got a kitten called Squeak, who Max loves. He loves his two cats. Although I'm noticing with the, sorry, this is the geriatric dog trying to get in my office. I'll bring the dog in.

Hello Henry, do you want to come in? Our small's a toy poodle. I'm gonna meet my friends. I'll bring the dog in. Hello Henry, do you want to come in? Our smalls are toy poodle. Come in and meet my friends. Come here, this is Henry. He's like about 150 years old. Oh, Henry. They're over there. That's a very cute dog.

And he's just really with it. He don't even look that old. Oh my God, he's so small. He looks like a puppy. I know, he's very small. He's lighter than a cat. And I've had him since he was one. So he's been with me a long time.

These days, he'll be running around on the beach. I live on the beach on the South Coast. And then we get home and he'll just wander into a room and then just start like and just kind of go. But he definitely can't remember why he came in. And you kind of. Oh, yeah. And then go. But the kitten, I found it quite interesting because I don't have you have pets but

it's like having a kitten I've got an older cat as well tells me what it might be like if I ever had a second kid right because I've been very like I've been so much more blase with this kitten than I was ever with yeah yeah yeah you are it's a tiny kitten and I come in and I'm like oh where's the kitten now she'll come out like have I left the door open she'll come back if I'm like, oh, where's the kitten now? She'll come out. Like, have I left the door open? She'll come back. If I see a girl pick her up, it will drop her right away. It's like, oh no, she's eating the dog's food. That's chicken. You know, you're just very like, you watch a crawl on something and she falls off

and you're just like, you're out of squeak? Yeah, good. And you just continue on, which is just so different to how I was. You're such a chilled out person from my experience of you. I can't imagine you being an uptight parent. Were you an uptight parent?

No, I would call myself a pendulum parent in terms of I'm extremely fun. Yeah. Or I can be quite strict, but probably more, more extremely fun than strict. Like if you invite me around for a play date with my kid or you invite me to a birthday party, you are not going to find me talking to the parents. Right. You're going to find me on the back of the castle or being like the barrier in the middle of the soft play. Mainly because I prefer, I prefer hanging out with kids more than adults. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I want to be. So I build a den or go in the mud kitchen or, and I don't mess. I like tightness, but if I've organised it properly, there's nothing that Max has ever not been able to do

under five. If we're somewhere, you know, people are just like, okay, yes, there's some days when you're like, don't fucking go in the sand pit. You hit a park you don't know. It's a fucking sand pit. But do you reckon that's having so many siblings, because it's hard to keep a house tidy

when there's that many people in it, because there's always people moving, because our house was always a bit chaotic growing. I've got four brothers. So it was always a bit chaotic with stuff everywhere. And I'm uncomfortable with mess. Lou loses her mind. She can't handle it.

Yeah, I'm very tidy, but I can organize chaos. If we're building a den, it'll be the greatest den ever. Or if we're going to have a water fight, it will be a water mania fight, and then we'll tidy it all up. Do you think acting really helps that, that you can embody these different versions? I think so. I mean kids slow you down a bit more anyway don't they, and put you more in the present

moment. Yeah. Also they experience things for the first time so their emotions are very deep, but they're also they're super manipulative and you do they read you better than you read yourself so you can like pretend to be happy sometimes or pretend you're not tired. And he'll even say things like, he said to me the other day when I was like, I'm so exhausted, I've been filming. Like I'm basically single parenting now.

So I'm like, just so tired all the time. And I was smiling at him doing something and he looked at me and he went, mommy, why are your eyes sad? Oh my God. My eyes are giving me why I was doing a terrible job. Yeah. And I just went, do you know what, because I'm really tired and I feel quite sad today.

And he went, Mummy, you are the best, Mummy. You are a star, Mummy. You're my favourite, Mummy. And then he said, can I sit on your lap? And I said, yeah. And then he farted on me. And that's the common thing. Mummy, shall we have a cuddle? Or sometimes he just goes, mommy, lay down. And that means he's gonna fart on my face.

So I don't lay down obviously anymore. I'm like, oh my god. It's like. I think the acting helps because you're a bit childish. If you're a good actor, you should be a bit childish really. And you should try to read them but I think you read me much better I feel manipulated yeah kids know I was on the sofa and

I had a busy day I was knackered and they was like can I have this can I have that and I went oh yeah I'll just get it in the second like that and then she just went do you want me to get it for you because she's not took pity on me I was like no no I can do it but just give me a moment because she's not took pity on me. I was like, no, no, I can do it, but just give me a moment. And you're working with Tennant at the moment. He's got, has he got five? Yeah, he's mad. Five kids?

Yeah, he has five kids. He's an amazing dad. I've loved this, this is the second time I've worked with David. And I only said yes to do Macbeth with him because he asked me to do it, because I love working with him so much. You can't do a play about a marriage that's breaking down really badly if you don't like the other person very much. It's not a good way to go.

That's the thing, it's great. It's really like, you know, you work with some dads in this business who they're like, yeah, I'm a dad and I've got some kids and they're kind of over there in that house and I'm going to be doing my thing. It isn't being a dad so hard, but you know that they're not actively really into it. He's actively really into it. They're such a good team, him and Georgia, of like having the kids and they love the kids and they're a great bunch. It's like, it's really nice actually. But I do think he's mad. Yeah. He's a bit off center. He's great. He's nuts though, isn't he? I had him on Smart TV because you came on Smart TV as well, Christian, that's when we first met. He's such a nice guy and he's no pretence. So nice and patient. I can't imagine ever raising his voice like... Yeah.

So patient, which I think you have to be with five kids. And also fucking fit. He's so good looking. Yeah, he is. In real life. Yeah. I had him down as a bit of sort of a nerdy little guy. When you meet him like, oh, you're a very attractive man, aren't you? life. Yeah, I didn't down as a bit of sort of a nerdy little guy when you meet like oh You're very attractive. Yeah

Gangly kind of you know, yeah your mates mate kind of In a very professional way, of course, of course, absolutely I've got to ask you kind of hinted at that. Have you without naming names? What's it like to be in a show where you hate someone you're acting with? Which must have happened, right? Well, that's only happened to me a couple of times when I haven't been in control of casting. Now I have a general kind of asshole free zone rule where I do a lot of background checks on people. So even if they're a hidden narcissist or like a hidden charmer who actually sounds like that would be horrible it's really hard because it feels like

one of those married at first sight shows where they go now we've paired you with I don't know what I'm doing Australian accent because that's the one I love it now we've paired you two together we know that you're not physically attractive but we'd like you to try to find something about But we'd like you to try to find something about them, which you like, the right to say, that's them. And what you have to do is, especially if you've got to do sex scenes with them. Yeah. Yeah. Because you know, you can get away with a talking scene

with someone you hate. You just do it right. When you start taking your clothes off, rubbing your body up against them, right? And you hate them. Not hate anyone, but let's say you don't get on. They drive you mad a bit, or you find them to be smug or rude, whatever, disrespectful.

They've said something to the production or something. They've thrown a mug of coffee at a runner. That happened to me once. Right, yeah, yeah. Let's say that, and then the runner gets fired. Let's just say that. And then you've got to have sex with them on TV. When you've got to do that, there's no way out of it, right?

You're on set, you've signed the contract, there's 200 people around you, you can't start calling your agent saying, I want to get out of this. Actually, what you've got to do is succeed in it because when people watch back this scene, you don't want people to be thinking, why does Kush look so uncomfortable? You want people to think, oh, that scene was so hot. I thought you really liked each other. That would be success. So you have to kind of find something like they say on Merrit at First Sight that you like about them. It could be just that they have nice eyelashes or nice ears or they walk in a straight line or just find something.

They're my three main things that I like about Louis when we first met. You've got to think about those things intensely and it kind of creates a liking energy. Oh those fucking ears. Yeah. I like his quiff. I like his. Yeah. I like his quiff. I like his quiff. I like his quiff. Bring them ears to me in a straight line, you bitch.

Oh, that bastard. And your brain starts to kind of replicate what you're concentrating on so that it becomes more positive. And then you start thinking about all the negative things. Just long enough for you to kind of, you know, do A-line or whatever. You've got to gaslight yourself into like an M. Yeah, you have to have a toxic relationship with yourself

just to do it. Yeah, exactly. How do you feel on that, about your son watching a racy scene with you in? Like what age would you allow that? My son, this was the first month in his life he's ever seen anything that I've done, which because I directed a children's show at Regent's Park, which is called Bear Snores On. And that was the first thing he's ever been able to come to see that I made.

Other than that, he's been to set a lot. Yeah. I've tried to kind of show him that I'm famous and important. He tends to ignore me on set. I say things like, look, look over here, Max. That's me. Number one on the call sheet. It just looks the other way. That actually means something. Max, I think you're fine. Max, can you see these people? How they're respecting me? Max, Max, Look at the size of my trailer. Now go and look at her trailer. It's half the size. This is a double banger. Look at me. This is a double banger.

Isn't it just a caravan, mum, you're on and an industrialist? Yes it is, but no, but in this world that's big. Yeah, mum, if you were important they wouldn't have to pick you up at five in the morning. So far he hasn't watched anything, not just because of the raciness, but I think most of the stuff I do is less the sexy stuff and more the, I did quite dark drama. I do quite traumatic stuff, which I really enjoy doing, but he would have been able to differentiate whether mum's been beaten up or whether Kutcher's been beaten up. Yeah, of course. When would be the right age?

I mean, fucking hell. Do you want your kids to watch anything you do? When would you want your kid to come across a video of you shagging someone? I don't know if you know. No. But how much roses are there? That's never going to happen with Josh's kids. Apparently kids do. I mean, these days, apparently, you know, he's going to hit eight or nine or 10. He's going to begin to realize, I'm told this is around the age they start to realize why people are stopping you and made schools take a picture Yes, yeah, so my daughter's eight and no one at schools brought up the fact that I've had a colonic on telly and done drag

Yeah I'm sure it'll pop up at some point Would you do say a walk-on part in something like I don't know what the equivalent is that he'd be into but like waffle the Wonder dog or whatever have you? I've asked repeatedly to read the bedtime story on CBBC. Have you not done the bedtime story? No, I'm dying to. That's mad. I keep asking, they're not responding to me.

Don't know what's going on. Because he'll get too old soon. Yeah. What the fuck's going on with him? And also, I've got an OBE. Come on, guys. Yeah, come on. What do you want? Bedtime story.

What do you want from me? I'm gonna find out who's been doing it. This is when it's not useful. I'm saying it out loud. I wanna do the bedtime story. I would walk into anything he loved and also, you know, voices on cartoons and stuff. Yes.

He knows my voice really well. So if you were offered like the voice of a teacher on Peppa Pig or something like that. Oh, he'd love that, yeah. Not Peppa Pig, but like Bluey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Chris Kamara's done it. Chris Kamara's done the Bedtime Story.

Yeah, I love Chris Kamara, but he's no Kush Jumbo. So many, so many people have done it. Chris and Rosie Ramsey, no offense, but fuck off, Chris and Rosie. Get Kush Jumbo on. You're about to get to my name, so let's move on. Now. Have you done it? Yeah, I've done it.

I've done it. Yes. I've done it. You little rat. It was the Comic Relief one that I got in. They do have some big hitters though. They had Tom Hiddleston and Tom Hardy. Yeah, they had Tom Hiddleston, did they? Yeah, loads of people have done it.

Tom Hiddleston hasn't even got kids, has he? Harry Styles. Harry Styles hasn't even got kids. Harry Styles. Kush. Wowee. Kush Jumbo for Bedtime Stories. Yeah.

I reckon- Push Kush. I reckon you're gonna get that email within a week of this going out surely It might be that like this is the first thing I audition for in six years Dave growl Dave grows done it Kate wins it Dolly Parton. It's outrageous this yeah I'm just feeling like a really bad mom now Rob. So could you stop because it's okay. Sorry One achievement I can't do for him Josh who, who booked you? What, my agent?

Because she's a bigger booker than you. Yeah, yeah, all right, fine. No, I got in because I've got the same agent as Ramesh. So that's how I got in. Has he done it? Is that how you get in most places, Rob? Is that how you make a book in a pizza express? Is that, Lou?

Because that's how we do it. You can have Ramesh if you take Josh as well. Did you just ask if Ramesh has done a TV show, Rob? Yeah, he has fucking done it. Of course he's done it. Oh, That's how we do it. You can have Ramesh if you take Josh as well. Did you just ask if Ramesh has done a TV show, Rob? Yeah, he has fucking done it. Of course he's done it. Oh, he's done a TV show?

Of course he has, Rob. He's done everything. Because we've acted, I always find it quite interesting because it's so intense and then nothing. It's sort of like months away. And how do you balance that up with a childcare? You said you're sort of semi single parenting at the moment. You know, you've got the nanny, but is it a bit of a logistical nightmare? And, you know, it's hard to manage that mum guilt and parent guilt, isn't it?

When you're there and not there kind of thing. It's really interesting because I think essentially I had Max between two seasons of The Good Fight. I was still living, he was born in New York. I was living there for six years. And I had him in the four months that you have off between shows, which was very ballsy at the time. Oh my god. So did you film pregnant pretending not to be pregnant? I filmed completely pregnant and the character became pregnant. And when I wrapped, I gave birth to him four days later. Fuck it, ow.

That's good timing though. Yeah. And at that point I was doing, I would say like definitely minimum 13, but usually like 14, 15 hour days. Fully pregnant. Fully pregnant. What does fully pregnant mean? You know what, full term. Right, full term. Full term. Absolutely full. Full term pregnant, yes. I mean, look, it's hard. It's like you finally hit your stride in your career. Yeah. And everybody wants you. I was also signed to a series that at that time it was like five, seven year commitment. So it's like, you don't know when you're going to get out. You can't just put your life on hold, especially as a woman. You can't put your life on hold to have a kid. Yeah, it's so much harder. 30, 31 by then. So I thought, okay, I'm just going to go for it. I'm just, I'm not going to make it up as I go along. I didn't know anyone in my situation

that had had a baby. I know people my age who did like less work. Yeah. And I think people much older than me that did a lot of work. Yeah. But I didn't have anyone to go to for advice because I didn't know anyone else was doing hours like me at my age and having a baby. And that was really tough because he was three weeks old

and I had to go back into the gym because I couldn't lose enough water breastfeeding to get back into my costumes for the season. Fucking hell. And I wasn't really, you know what newborns are like, it's like I'd get home from filming and I'm learning 10 pages of dialogue and I'm breastfeeding through the night and then I'm being picked up again. So I essentially just didn't sleep. Was this in New York still?

Yeah, in New York still. But I think it also does make you wake up and go, right, what do I want my life to look like now? Because I love my job and it gives me choices. So I wanna do that. But then is there a balance or does everything cost something? Like doing this series will take me away from him. I like doing less pickups and drop-offs in that period.

And then I'll get a full week off and I'll spend every waking second with him. Then I'll get six months off and I can take him away and we can do this and we can do that. And then I'll have to work again. But it's like, I can't feel guilty about the time I don't have with him or the work that I'm not doing if I choose to take time off. Like that is what it costs to have that. Yeah. Because if you start going like, I'm losing this and I'm losing that, then you don't really win anything. What I will say is that in order to keep working the way I do, which I really enjoy and I've got more control over now,

the bit in the middle you always miss is like, there's no you time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the bit that goes. Some twat at a dinner party once was making some jealousy joke about my career or whatever. I didn't know them very well. And they were like, well, you know,

it's all right for you because you've got got a, you've got a nanny, haven't you? So I'm sure you're fitting it all in. And I think I'd had a couple of glasses of wine and I was like, okay, let me tell you how much benefit of the nanny I get. When the nanny arrives, I leave. I work hours and hours and hours and hours and hours, sometimes for days and days and days and days and days. And as soon as I walk through the door, the nanny leaves and then I'm up. Until the moment she arrives back, and then I go back to work.

So you tell me who's getting the benefit of Danny. I realize that she's looking after my kid. Yeah, but of course. Yeah, of course. It's not like I'm going to a spa. No, yeah. No, like when I was directing the show recently at Regent's Park.

You're going to pretend to have sex with someone you don't even like. That's what you're gonna do. That's where you're going. I mean, I'm literally rubbing my to have sex with someone you don't even like. That's what you're going to do. That's where you're going. I'm literally rubbing my tits up against someone I don't like. Just because they've got nice ears in my mind. But yeah, I was directing some younger actors recently and who, and I say young, they're in their 20s, but you know, they don't have kids

and they're still living in house shares. And you kind of crack on to like little conversations that you hear with them saying things like, God, I'm just feeling like, I'm just like exhausted. Like yesterday, I slept for 11 hours and I'm like, I'm exhausted. Like absolutely. Like I couldn't get out of bed. And then like, I went to get to the shop to get some sourdough and like the side of my

left, my side of my throat was hurting. So I just went back and I did a gargle, salt gargle. And then I just went for a steam and then I felt a bit better. I was also pretty tired. And you're just like, I just went back and I did a gargle, salt gargle, and then I just went for a steam and then I felt a bit better but I was also still pretty tired. And you're just like, I just listen. I can't remember, like right now being in this room with you two is really exciting. I've got both my hands to myself. Look, none of us are doing anything.

I can do anything I want with them. I can hold things. Look, I can hold things. I can text people. When I first had a baby, my friend who already had two kids said to me, congratulations, blah, blah, blah. Text me the first time you pretend to go to the toilet so you can deal with your phone by yourself. I was like, oh yeah, ha ha ha. Yeah, that happens. Like just to give yourself a couple, just a couple of minutes to yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Just so you can do what you can do. Yeah. That's the bit you lose, I think.

Here's a question for both of you that I've been struggling with. So I'm kind of back gigging now, doing stand up. What's back gigging? I'm back, I'm back. I'm gigging. I'm gigging again. He just turns his back to the audience.

I'm sorry, I thought it was like a phraseology, like. I'm back gigging. I'm back gigging. I'm telling everyone, bye bye. Obviously I do back gigging and then I do front gigging and then I'm ready for the tour. I've got you, I've got you. So I'm going out a lot at like 6pm or whatever and then my daughter, more so than my son, is like, oh don't go, don't go, I don't want you to go. And I don't want to go, I'd prefer to stay obviously in that situation. But I'm also going, I don't know whether I should be painting work as this awful thing that's

taking me away or whether I should be saying, I don't want it to be like, I've got to go because I'm paying for this. So it's like, I don't know how to style. Don't do that. No, don't do that. I have to leave because of you. And now you're upset and I'm upset. So what was the fucking point of having you? But I don't know how to style I'm going out. If you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm the former, I suppose,

because I'm probably more used to, I suppose when you're gigging, it's like you have to have like a tranche of them and then you have a bit of time off but you have a kind of a section of them. No, I'm only doing one or two a week at the moment. But then obviously when you go on tour, it's like. I mean, first of all, first of all, number one,

you should be really happy that your kid even cares that you're leaving the house. Yes. Because that won't last forever. There'll come a time when they don't even know that you've gone and they hope that you'll leave. So do you think I should look her in the eye and go, enjoy this, this is love, and one day we won't have this?

No, I'm trying to make you feel better. But what I've had to force myself to say, first of all, I make Max part of me leaving because when I leave to go filming, I'm usually away from him for at least three or four nights because of the hours I can't get home. Or if I can, I'm getting like two hours sleep. So he knows when I get my script books out, he knows the week before what's gonna start

happening. And I get him to be part of that. He helps me pack my bag. He knows what pens I like. I say to him, what shall I take in my snack bag? Like, what am I gonna put in mine? So he knows it's coming and he gets a bit anxious about stuff anyways. He knows it's coming.

He knows he's gonna miss me. And then eventually, of course, there's always that bit where I'm gonna go and he's like, I don't want you to go. And I say, oh, do you know what? Like, I kind of don't want to go either. But mommy really likes her job. I really like doing it. And I think I'm quite good at it. And I'm just going to go for this period of time. And then I'm going to come back and I'm going to miss you too. But I think it is important that they can differentiate you between dad and awesome, cool performer. Like it's important, that's important.

You are not just like there to service them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in a trash way. Yeah. But I think if you do a whole lot of, I don't wanna go either. I hate it.

Yeah, I know, yeah. What if the audience doesn't like me? Yeah, they also start to go like, well, where's your power daddy then? If you don't wanna go, why are you going? Just don't go then yeah and then you're kind of teaching them about being a bit of a people pleaser yeah yeah as opposed to like making them think so i'll go i can't wait to do this corporate event i'm really

looking forward to it it's a passion proj it's a passion proj one day maybe you'll get to host 36 separate awards for people in the kitchen supplies industry after 10 minutes of stand-up host 36 separate awards for people in the kitchen supplies industry after 10 minutes of stand up. They get any kind of like treat when you get back from something like that, you know, having been so brave. Yeah, food and balls. I do it a similar way to you Kush, where I sort of go like, look, I've got to go because it's my job and we do, I do need to earn some money so we can pay for stuff, but I enjoy my job and I really like it, so I'm going to go and have a great time, come back, get a bit of money and then we can spend that on going out, you know, for dinner or going and stuff like that. Rob doesn't say that he thinks he's good at it

because he's fully aware that he's stealing a living. He doesn't do your thing of going, I think I'm good at my job. Yeah, I'm really good at most of my jobs, but I will still be paid for stuff I'm not very good at until they're really laid. Don't you worry about that. Do you guys like leave fun stuff for them? If you're going away for more than one night, do you leave like, I sometimes leave Max like little notes or hidden scavenger things so that like on the second day or the third day. Oh my word, that makes it hard to look good.

That's really good. He knows I'm thinking of him and I say, in two sleeps I need you to follow this map to get to this. Oh my word, this is good. I'm going to do that next time. I get those sometimes from my kids. When I go, I play football on a Sunday night, about eight o'clock so I leave at half seven,

so that's when they get in his bed and they go, but daddy I don't want you to go, I don't want you to leave. And then I go, well hang on, you don't really care. You're just sort of trying to, I don't know what this is. I went, yeah, but you're going to bed anyway. I don't want you to go, I don't want you to leave." And then I go, well, hang on, you don't really care. You're just sort of trying to, I don't know what this is. I went, yeah, but you're going to bed anyway. I don't want you to be sat down and say this. I really like playing football.

I find it fun. It's good exercise. I don't stop you going athletic. Imagine if I went, oh, please don't go to athletics after school. I'm going to, like, how would you feel if I stopped you doing Lego club? And then we're back.

Oh yeah, fair enough. We should talk about your podcast, Kush. You've got a podcast. How would you feel if I stopped you doing Lego club and there were that old you? We should talk about your podcast Kush. You've got a podcast. Yes, I have a new podcast with Sony. I'm very excited about it called Origins with Kush Jumbo because I don't say words Kush Jumbo enough and obviously there's lots of Kush Jumbos. Yeah, yeah. Are you the only Kush Jumbo in the world? I am. I've checked. I remember reading that Dave Gorman book and I was like, I wonder if... And I am, I actually am. Can you believe that? Really? Is anyone close? Anyone close?

You know what, I can believe it. You're called Kush Jumbo. I can totally believe it. There's no Kush Jumbos, especially with, I thought maybe with a K, not even with a K. Tell us about the podcast. You told me, but it'd be great for audience to hear where the name comes from. It's a great story about where the name comes from, Kush Jumbo. Yeah, Kush is Egyptian. My parents were really into biblical. My mum's from Scunthorpe, my dad's from Nigeria. Let's just start there. So they went Egyptian.

They thought Egypt. So we all have like very biblical names, even though we are not a religious family at all, but they think they've got really cool connotations. They were convinced I was a boy. They liked this name Kush, who was a king, King Kush, who was like king of the Kushite people. My dad's surname is Jumbo, and that's how I ended up with Kush Jumbo. I was thinking that Scunthorpe and Nigeria picked an Egyptian king's name for their daughter,

born in England. Yeah, that's right. So the podcast Origins, what's it about? So yeah, the podcast is all about origin stories. So I have been, like you have been, interviewed loads of times, but I always feel like most of the stuff that's out there, the stories that are out there about me and the things that people know is actually like barely scratching the surface of who I am. Actually, sometimes they're not even correct.

Like they're not even true. Yeah, most of the time, yeah. Yeah, most of the time. And I always get really interested, now my son is five or six years old, of thinking about what people were like at those three different stages of their life. When they were five or six years old, did they have the fingers up their nose? Were they the bully? Did they get sent out? Were they really well behaved? And then when they were a teenager, like, were they were really cool teenager? Could they kiss with their tongues? Were they terrible? Could they swim like stuff like that?

And then also, I think I always like to hear about what people were doing for jobs before they hit the big time or whatever. Oh, this is great. It's a really nice. Oh, yeah. Because I don't think anybody ever really asks celebrities about who they actually are. How did you become and how did you get to where you know? Yeah, worst heckle you've ever had. Yeah, yeah, well actually you have all these pivotal friendships when you're a kid or like romantic relationships or like stories and I did so many jobs before I was really properly acting that I

just don't think people know about. So anyway yeah, it's about origin stories. So I sit down with celebrities and I ask them for three pivotal moments that are from their lives. Can you tell us anyone who's been on? We are about to start recording next week, so I can't, but I have a very amazing list. Oh, here we go, there we go. There we go, that's promo, that's how you do it, Rob.

Oh, I'm ready to go now, I'm looking for it. I need to go on Google notifications when it's out now. Do you know when it's gonna be out? Be later this year, I imagine. I go now. I'm looking for it. I need to go on them Google notifications when it's out now. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know when it's going to be out? Be later this year, I imagine. I literally was trying to find out this morning to tell you for this podcast and I can't but I we're recording literally starting two weeks and I've got I'm going to be recording like 48 before the end of the year. So wow. Well, let us know and then we can let the listeners know when it's out. Yes, I have to get you two on. Oh, love to. Love to.

I can tell you now, I wasn't kissing with tongues as a teenager. I can confirm the rumors. I had never kissed with tongues. That's what you were doing after school, was just practicing your kissing. On my arm, yeah. For the first 15 years of your life

and the last 15 years of his life, he's not kissed with tongues. Just that 10 years in the middle, he was licking it about. I basically pulled a muscle in my tongue in my 20s, it was going so much. He was exhausted. Bloody hell, I couldn't stop the Frenchies. Criminal records back as well,

we should just mention that. Yes, it's gonna be back next year. We've had a bit of a gap just because the writers strike, we couldn't shoot. Of course. So we're back to be back next year. And we've had a bit of a gap just because the writer's strike, but we couldn't shoot. Of course. So we're back shooting beginning of next year. So we should be out like middle of the year second season. But that's very exciting back in East London.

So that should be good. Our quality. And who's number one on the call sheet? You or Peter Capaldi? It's, I don't know, actually, Josh. I'm going to have to think about it. No, it is Peter. It's Peter You've worked with two Doctor Who's recently. I have I only worked with Doctor Who's I've worked with my

Doctor who Michael Sheen's a hamlet. I work with Hamlet's and Doctor Who's oh We love Sheenie We love Sheenie Pete is amazing and listen like when you're someone as awesome as Peter and you are to do a show with you and they say yes They should be number one on the call sheet. They just should respect Did you ask him we wanted to work together again and we kind of came up with the idea and then just did it That's so cool. Your life is fucking great, isn't it? No, do you know what and you've got a nanny so you don't have to do any parenting your life's absolutely made

I'm telling you Josh. It's just sleep and rosé for me. Cheers, Kush. Good luck with the podcast as well. Thank you guys. This was so much fun. Bye. Kush Jumbo. Love Kush Jumbo, Josh.

I fucking love Kush Jumbo. She's a legend. She's quite lit. She's right, good laugh. She's so much fun. And South London, South London till I die. South London. And that's a really. She's quite lit. She's right. Good laugh. She's so much fun. And South London. South London till I die. South London.

And that's a really great idea for a podcast. So do listen to it. We'll let you know when it's out. We'll let you know when it's out. We still don't know yet. We don't know. Cush Jumbo. See you on Tuesday.

Bye. Welcome to Making Friends with Chantal Nash. It's me Chantal Nash, comedian, writer, mom of two, crock lover and now podcaster. Right guys, I'm going to be honest, making friends as an adult, it's hard. And maintaining friendships as an adult, even harder. I can't be the only one who's not replying to texts and not finding time to meet up and grappling with the question, are we even still friends? So I've decided to do something about it. Each week I'll be joined by a woman that I would love to be friends with, women from the worlds of science, music, art, entertainment,

politics and beyond. We'll talk all things friendship wins, friendship fails, friendship challenges and hopefully a lot of friendship advice, all in the hope of forming the perfect girl crew. And that crew needs you. So join me and my guest every Wednesday for Making Friends with Chantel Nash. You can listen to Making Friends wherever you get your podcasts.