Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP45: The Stiffest Neck She'd Ever Seen

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Lottie, can you say Josh Whiddicam? No. No. Say Josh Whiddicombe. I can.

And I'll get you something. Josh Whiddicombe. Josh Whiddicombe. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. Very good. I like the vague bribery of, and I'll get you something. I'll get you. Yeah, I know. It's so defeated, isn't it? I thought you were one. Yeah. We had to do bribery. It's one of my daughter didn't want to go into school. It's one of his awful. She was like, I don't want to do it.

And then lose promiscuous ice cream, which I think is a pretty good deal to be fair. Yeah. Because they're still young when he's six. I was like, they will be immune to me. And they sort of tell you what happened. He like, that might have been a bit annoying that you weren't involved in that thing, but that is literally probably what? Three minutes of the entire day? Like, just speak to someone else.

Yeah, I know. Because when you're a kid, it's like, they don't want to talk to me. They don't, you know, whatever. They're being mean to me, whatever. Try being in the dressing room at the comedy store. Oh, God, yeah. Back in the day when we started that was a real... The attitude was nearly as powerful as the bad dress sense.

Oh and there were some horrible bitter miserable old bastards when we started. They're still there. I think it's calmed down a bit now. People are a bit more nice aren't they? I think they are definitely. This is my granddaughter Lottie Smith aged three and a half from Stourport. I'm not at home Stourport. Got to be Northern that, that sounds so Northern. Worcestershire.

Oh, where's that? Midlands. Isn't the Midlands the Midlands? Well Worcestershire's the, the Midlands isn't a county. Worcestershire is, well Worcestershire's in Worcestershire. I'll give them that. Oh, it's that weird bit between, we've had this chat before.

Is it between Birmingham and Leicester? Yeah, but it's sort of like between Wales, Birmingham, Stratford, that sort of where like, you know, yeah, yeah, it's Hereford, that's not Wales, is it? But you know what I mean? Hereford's Herefordshire presumably, is it? Is it Hereford? That's sort of like, it's that kind of area. That's sort of like the mock Wales. Yeah, yeah. Because as you get to Wales, it gets more Welsh as as you go in don't mock whales they bloody hate it i'm not mocking ones i absolutely love ours my wife's half welsh yeah i do like the welsh my children are fucking welsh i'm a minority in my own house it's full of welshies i love the show listening to it at the gym or doing stuff around the house he likes vague things things, doesn't he? Doing stuff. I'll get you something.

I'll get you something. I like doing stuff. I've seen Josh live a couple of times and had tickets for Rob, only missed due to work commitments when he's back on tour. He made time for you, did he? Well, you know. He made time for you in Stour, but when would you last in Stourbridge? No, I've done Stourbridge. I've not done Stourport.

Oh, Stourport, sorry. Keep it fresh regards John Gatehouse. Gatehouse it fresh. Regards, John gatehouse. Gatehouse. Gatehouse. Johnny gatehouse. Shropshire. Shropshire? Shropshire? He's moved. He's moved county. Halfway through the email. This guy that I was gonna yeah Shropshire. Because then Shropshire is very close to Wales.

Oh, no, sorry. Sorry. That's his granddaughter. She's lived in Worcestershire. He lives in Shropshire. Oh, it's like a county lines drug operation this. Yeah. Last time I did Stratford upon Avon, my flat in Hither Green got burgled. Horrible evening. Stratford upon Avon, I've done that gig. Every time I go to Stratford upon Avon, I remember being burgled. Some people think Shakespeare. Some people think Shakespeare. What did it? Who knows? Who knows? They couldn't get enough evidence. Cases still open. It's mental when the police come because like they do a do a good job you know but like you ask it's Berg they say well yeah it's a shame and it will take this number I'm like I've got a bit of

paper with a number on it really that's that's what's gonna happen in it absolutely nothing. My scooter got nicked once my like Vespa yeah and he was like yeah oh that's a shame isn't it. Sorry when were you on board? I had a Vespa when I used to do gigs around London, I've still got a Vespa. Forgot about that. I tried to move into the shed and I fucking drove into a wall. What? The not bad little bit. And I was like, you stupid idiot. I just do things without thinking. I've had it ages and my brother was borrowing it. He brought it back and I fucking

revved it and went straight into a wall. So stupid. It was like something from Clarkson's farm. You know when he just sort of does something without thinking and then I was expecting Caleb to come around the corner and be like, oh what's he bloody done now? Anyway, I'm in a weird mood. I'm tired and I've had too much coffee, Josh. How was half term? Good. We stayed in the UK. It was busy. We really enjoyed it actually. You did a lot of day tripping. Day tripping. Lou did more day tripping day tripping Lou did more day tripping than me Lou took the girls to Chessington

World of Adventures. Yeah, they love that. Are they both tall enough for everything now? Yes. But the people they went with the other mom, they said, Lou said, we'll measure them. We'll go there because they need to be over 120 1 meter 20 centimeters to go on near enough everything. And then the mom measured the children. But the youngest daughter, she measured and I don't know how but was 10 centimeters off. Oh, no. Oh, no. And that's quite a big off. Isn't it? That's a big off. Yeah, it's almost like at those levels, you're almost 10% off. Yes, huge. If it was your accountant

doing your tax. Yeah, you'd be livid with 10. But there was still enough to go on. And there was a vampire ride that could all go and then it worked out well Anyway, that they all nearly went on everything they wanted to go on so I went there I went with them to Leeds Castle for overnight. You can go to you can stay in Leeds Castle over night Is that the haunted one? I don't know. I don't I've got no idea if it's a haunted one But it was for Leeds Castle was the haunted one I'd say though like if you went there go there about two o'clock You check into into your room

and you can go around Leeds Castle and then it gets really quiet. Is there room in the castle? There are some in the castle. We were in the stables. They've got little houses on the lake and then they've got like glamping tents. I would say though, we were there for about 24 hours.

That was definitely enough time. Ha ha ha ha. By the end of it, I was directing people to where to go. I'd done the maze five times, I knew every nook and cranny of the playground, I was getting nods from the ducks, like you're alright mate, how's it going? I felt like I worked there but it was good fun. That's nice. And this is a stupid question. Is it in Leeds? No, it's not. It's near Maidstone.

Is it? Do you know what? I was there for 24 hours, still don't know why it's called. Are you joking? No, it's not. It's near Maidstone. Is it? Do you know what? I was there for 24 hours, still don't know why. Are you joking? No. All right. It is in Maidstone. It did feel like odd that you'd gone to Leeds when I saw that. I was like, that's a long way to go to a castle. For a night to go to a castle. Yeah. I tell you what though, we absolutely smashed the maze. But it's near Maidstone. Yeah, no idea why. What else did we do? Leeds Castle. Oh, this is what we did at Half Turn, it It's quite handy give them a budget at the start of the week So he always wants something because when you end up going to like Chessington or Leeds Castle or to the shop that can have this

Can I have that sweet given 20 quid each for the week? Yeah, and we was like you've got 20 quid each for this week So you can budget it They were like I'm gonna spend five pounds at Leeds Castle five pounds at Chessington And then when we were at Chessington, they were the stuff was more expensive five pounds So Lou tops it up a little bit, but it was more like a negotiation and then budgeting rather than what happens is you get them something Monday and then by Wednesday they want something else you're like oh I've already got you something yeah so that worked really well actually we gave them a little budget of 20 quid so they enjoyed that and that helped stop them go can I have this

we would go well how much have you got left yeah and then they shut up well there's been a lot of pocket money talk in this house. My daughter thinks she wants pocket money. None of her friends are really in the pocket money train. Do you do pocket money? So they've got like a little account, those little go Henry card things, wherever they are, where you buy it's like a little debit card. Yeah, so Lou puts like five pounds a week on that. That's just building up. They

don't know they've got it. So it's almost like actually a little savings ring for them. It was like five quid a week each. And they're supposed to be doing jobs for it. But we've not really sorted out what the jobs are. We haven't cancelled the standing order direct debit. And they don't know they've got it. So it seems like I don't know if we are doing pocket money, or we've just basically got two savings accounts that's really slowly growing. So 20 quid a month. So me and Lee might have a nice holiday by the end of it and the kids don't need to know any different because they've done nothing for it. But no, we don't do pocket money. So should I tell you about my weekend? Quite a busy weekend. Yeah, I'll go into that in more detail. But on Friday, I was diagnosed with dyslexia officially. Oh, congratulations.

Officially dyslexic. And then Saturday, I went to the horse racing. Can I dig into the dyslexia thing? I'll tell you what I did in three days. And then we'll go back go through it. Okay. Okay. Because it was quite a lot actually when I was going to work yesterday. Horse racing. Went to horse racing in the day and then I won in the raffle bottle of champagne and got booed as I walked up to collect it. Amazing. From the little tent. Which course was it? Epsom. Oh yeah. I didn't realize how close I lived to Epsom. I was really close. Then I went to the Champions League final on the Saturday night. Whoa! Then Sunday, I sprained my ankle.

Oh no. Quite badly, couldn't walk on it. And then on Tuesday, I hosted the Domino's company conference. Ha ha ha! And then this morning, I was like, that is quite a lot in a weekend. Yeah, yeah.

It's quite a lot to take in that, isn't it really? The Epson Derby, Champions League final, sprained your ankle quite badly. So talk to me about the Champions League final. Well I got invited last minute by Tops, big up Tops, you know the sticker book people. Oh yeah, had some spares. Had some spares, they went do you want to come? I was like alright, but I've got there was just full of YouTubers with them.

Oh yeah. And they're lovely the YouTube's, you know all the guys, Pie Face, you know Pie Face? He's Plymouth fan right? Yeah, we're giving you a load of shit, me and Pie Face. Were you? Yeah, yeah big time. What did he think about Wayne Rooney? I didn't ask him actually. I was quite pissed actually.

Oh yeah? Because I've been at the racing as well. I was in a full suit. Oh, big man turns up the youtubers are there and the old bloke in a suit. Yeah, and it was me and my mate Andy. And we turned up in suits. We look like pundits. We were dressed like pundits, right? But they were really nice to the youtubers. But they're quite young. So there's Angry Ginge, you know Angry Ginge? No, of course not. Danny Aarons, he was there as well.

No, I don't know if you're making them up now. No, I'm not. There's loads of... These are real people. Bateson, do you know Bateson? Do you know what, Rob? Give me the list of them, but put one fake name and I'll try and guess. Okay.

Fire phrase, Angry Ginge, Parrot Cork, and... I've so obviously seen a fake. Parrot Cork. that. Fireplace angry, ginger, parrot, cork. Tiddlywinks, I'm baked beans, slapper, your mom's slapper, the base, bogey nose and old long shaft. So they're all there. I think pie faces the fact one. No one's good. That is also to wait as well. Isn't a Gucci track suit pie face. He's having to wait as well. He's in a Gucci tracksuit pie face. He's having it all.

I see. Because you know, when you get invited to things, it's sort of like they want you to put it on social media and you have to put gift in it's sort of like an exchange kind of thing. It was just fine. I'm very privileged, lucky opportunity to be in it. And I just couldn't be so excited to be there. And it's great.

And then me and Andy turned up and Andy's like 42. I'm 38. They're all like 18, 19. And then there's like the guys from Topps who are about our age, like got kids about 35, 40. But they were quite quiet and polite, like the YouTubers watching the game, doing their content and stuff. And then me and Andy bowling absolutely shitfaced from the racing. I was like, all right, let's just get a couple of beers in. And then we got, Andy's getting the beers and having a few drinks. Then we sat there and Andy's going, all those people that are getting photographs.

I'm like, what is it? Angry Ginge, Pie Face, Parrot Cork, you know, Long Shorth, all the guys. And he went, do you think my nephew will know who they are? I went, yeah, they're massive. I know we're joking, but they're not for our... Yeah, I know, I know. It's just like, yeah.

Angry Ginge gets like 80, 90,000 people watching him play FIFA live. Wayne really plays FIFA with them on the internet. I hope not. He's fucking managing play with our girl. No, he does. Yeah. Yeah, but he needs to stop now and live in the real world. That is the real world.

No, but he needs to focus on his work. Well, he's gonna have a lot of downtime in Plymouth. I don't want Plymouth to lose. And then I find out that Saturday evening, he's gone home to play FIFA with angry Ginge. So I went, no, it's massive. If your nephew's like whatever age, he's never nephew's like 12. So we FaceTime his nephew in the stands at Chambizig. Do you know, pie face? Do you know angry ginger? And then this 11 yards face is like we've said to him, in the 90s, do you know who

Michael Jackson is? Yeah. Well, let's talk about that. Bad example. Okay. So it's like bringing up a 30 year old girl and saying, you know who Taylor Swift is. Maybe not that big. Angry Gingy's well, I wouldn't put him in Taylor Swift territory. Let me think of another one. Okay, it's 2000. It's like in the midnight, he's saying, you know who Jerry Halleywell is. I've got another one.

It's 2005. You're 18, you're at uni. And you're with some 20 year old women and you get Nellie up on FaceTime. Exactly. You know, you know that? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so he rings his nephew and he goes, I mean, of angry jeans, pie face, you know, the lot. Yeah, he goes, what? What? Anyway, we passed the

phone down to him. And then they're just chatting to the nephew on FaceTime. This kid's losing his mind. And he's going, I don't know what's going on. I don't know these people are. And then one of them Anger Jim was like, how old is he? And then he's like, he's 11. And I've just called him a speccy twat. So what does angry ginger do? He streams a live stream. So he's like a Twitch streamer, and it goes everywhere.

Where he sits and he plays FIFA and people watch. And he has all these other mates that come in. And why is he so popular compared to other people that do that? He's really funny. If he chose to do stand up, I imagine he could probably, he's got quite a strong persona, very Man United fan, very loud and in your face and calls people out.

And also when he plays FIFA with Rooney, he gives him shit. He's not like down to the stuff, but he's just really popular at the moment. He's a really nice guy. And so I love it. I love all that stuff. Cause especially with now with modern technology, if you're like a working class kid from your bedroom, really, you know, as long as you've got an internet connection and a half decent sort of camera and stuff like that, which you

sort of can get, obviously not everyone can afford that, but most people do have access to a phone. You can. People like GK Barry has become mega and really successful. And I think it's brilliant. Who's GK Barry? It's a girl called Grace Keely. Because GK Barry sounds like she writes crime novels. Or she's a really good goalkeeping coach from the 50s. An old school approach, but gets the best out of players. But then what happens is, when they're about 11, they set up their social media profiles,

and when you're 11, you're going to pick a stupid name, aren't you? Right, yeah. What was your first email address? You must have done it, because mine was FatboyBeckett, P-H-A-T, where I would be Fatboy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people are like, oh, we've got a Fatboy coming down, you know, like that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people would be like, oh, God, fat boy coming down, you know, like that kind of thing. Yeah. And people are like, Oh, God, who's fat boy?

Yeah. So GK Barry's become really successful on tick tock and got her own podcast and stuff like that. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, so the champion's league was great. And that was quite fun for me and Andy being there was just like two piste I look like we'd on our own stag do with all these young kids. So yeah, so that was good. And then ankle bad bad ankle playing dad's football and I lost my ball kicked over the fence and spray my ankle. It's all fat and swollen Josh.

Oh no. And how long are you out of the game for? Do you know what, really, because I've been going to the gym now and doing weights and stuff like that and I've started running. Part of me is like, is that what's done it? No, I just think I am 38. Yeah, you're past it. Well, no, I'm not past it. I've still got the skill set still. Yeah, Josh. No, that's not'm not past it. I've still got the skillset still. Yeah, Josh. That's not what they're saying.

As I walk into goals, I hear people say, his skillset's still here. I can feel it. The extra yards in his head these days. Oh, it's like Teddy Sheridan, but your body just starts to fail you. Yeah. And that's what's concerning. So I'm going to leave playing football for a bit, lose a bit more weight so there's less weight on my joints.

Right, right, right. And then let my ankle heal and then I'll be back in a few weeks. And has it affected parenting? Yeah, I mean, a little bit. How's Lou taken it? Well, I can do things, but if Lou says, can you do that? I do it quite slowly,

because I can't walk very far or fast. Yeah, yeah. And that does annoy her. And I understand why it annoys her, but I can't go any quicker. And would she argue perhaps that you're milking it and going even slower just to kind of get out of doing stuff? No, I think she knows it's quite bad. And also I've still been going to work and been quite busy.

So like, I was on my feet for the whole of the Domino's company conference and great gig. The Dominoids, loads of successful Dominoids. They call them the Dominoids. Do they? That wasn't you that did that. No, no, they are the Dominoids. And I tell you what, I went, me and Ramesh did it together and I went in hard on Papa John's.

If you ever do a company conference, basically all you've got to do is slag off the rival. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what? I quite like Papa John's. Well, I actually did their conference two years ago. Bloody hell, Rob. So I went in Domino's and I'd shat on their garlic dip hard. So apologies to Papa John, Mama John, baby John, all the Johns. If Papa John's had, you know, a mole in the Domino's conference,

they'll be furious. I did a joke that got nothing and I thought it was quite good. You know, Domino's do two pieces on a Tuesday, it's called Two for Two. And it was on a Tuesday, the conference, and they put me and Ron. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nice. I was the top and go on it, yeah. And I was like, Two for Tuesday, it's not just a pizza you're getting one free on, it's comedians. Yeah.

It weren't great, but they want me to do stuff on the company and I use Two for Two, you know what I mean? Did Ron laugh? What's that? Did he laugh? We couldn't really hear each other on the stage, but what happens is though, if you are on stage with a mate and you do a joke that drops like a dirty egg, they just laugh at that situation. Yeah, you just laugh at what's going on.

But what was good was the best delivery driver of the year award. They won and very slow coming to the stage. Oh, that's good stuff. And then me and the mesh clock ties, it was like, who's getting in here first? Yeah, yeah, really nice. Hopefully a bit quicker with the bloody pizzas. Oh, that was nice. Oh, it's good stuff. And then me and the mesh-clothed eyes, I was like, who's getting in here first? Yeah, yeah, really nice. Hope they're a bit quicker with the bloody pizzas. Oh, that was nice. Oh, it was lovely.

And yeah, it's absolutely nothing again, but you know, it's their night for awards, really. Exactly. You can only try, but they love the Papa John stuff. There you go. That's good. Apologies to Papa John's. I'll send you my ankle. Oh, thank you very much.

You're going to see me ankle. So Lou's been really good about it, but it's just a bit annoying, isn't it, when you're shuffling about and you can't really carry stuff. I was supposed to do a dump run this week. Oh, holy moly. That is one big old ankle. I look like a nan that's just got on a flight to Alicante. Little nan leg.

Absolute nan ankle there. I swear, why is it nans that get those sort of ankles more so than granddads? You know, when you go to like, you visit old people's home, it's like nan ankles, massive. Yeah, but is it just because you can see their ankles? Yeah, exactly what it is, isn't it? The old long skirt. You know, you know what I'm talking about? I was like a kid going to visit my granddad

in the old people's home. I just see long skirts and ankles. And then like... God, my teacher at primary school, like she was old. Yeah. And she had those big old ankles Like, my teacher at primary school, like she was old. Yeah. And she had those big old ankles combined with really bunion-y toes.

Why is she teaching you without socks on? No, no, you could see them through the shoe. No, she'd have like an open-toed, not sandaled so much, in a tight maybe. Although them sandals, where it's a rounder bunion because I've got a little bunion, a rounder bunion for it almost looks like you know like the mummy where it's escaping from the toilet roll kind of thing. Yeah. But no if you have got big ankles out there I don't want to start ankle shaming people. No no not with your massive ankles.

My massive ankles. Did you want to talk about the dis-exit? We need to also we need to talk about the blanket, your holiday. Oh thank you to the parenting hell listeners because my son lost his blanket. Comfort blanket. Every night does he have it? Well he's kind of not as into it as he was so it's not yeah if it had happened six months ago it would have been an absolute disaster. Yeah. And I put it on Instagram and a listener to the show she replied within two minutes to say she had one. Exactly the same? Exactly the same. Yeah.

Sent me the photos through DM. Let me find it. Suzy Henderson. Thank you so much to Suzy Henderson. She sent me a picture straight away. Oh, good old Suzy. Respect Suzy Henderson. And then she sent it via Royal Mail about an hour later.

No. Yeah. And she's even sent me the tracking number of the Royal Mail. Oh hour later. No. Yeah. And she's even sent me the tracking number of the Royal Mail. Oh, Suzy Henderson. What a legend. So has it arrived? No, hasn't actually. Well, it was only the day before yesterday. So it would probably arrive today. And what are you doing to say thank you to Suzy? I've offered her tickets to my tour and to your tour and to Romesh's

tour and Tom Allen's tour. Ohesh's tour and to Tom Allen's tour. Oh thank you absolutely yeah not a problem I'll sort that out Josh. I haven't asked our agent yet but I'm sure I can push them through without the axe finding out. That'll be fine. Oh that's nice what a four way. I made some notes on holiday. Did you have a good holiday? It's so much easier with a three-year-old than a two-year-old, Rob. I always say this, wait till, I say four, but if you've got a well-behaved one at three

or it's your second child, but wait till the youngest is three or four, and it's such a better experience. Save your money. They go for a big old longer one rather than three years of chasing a child around a rock hard pool. And they play together in the shallow pool,

and you know, he still didn't really want to sit at dinner, but more than he did before. And also he's enjoying it more because he's getting the benefit. Rather than just being forced to go round and not be able to run where he wants. Exactly. Do you do iPad at dinner?

We tried to do it after they've eaten. Okay, respect actually. So they make some little incentive. I would say before they've eaten, they're not sitting there, we'll order and then I'd take them for a walk. Yeah, I think that's fine though. And also as well, it's like,

as long as they've got headphones, it's not loud, disturbing other people. They've been out and about in the sun, in the pool, playing all day. They're fucked. They're knackered. Also as well, it's like, they don't want to sit. They want to go to bed.

They don't want to make conversation. No. Neither do I, but I don't get my iPad out. No, you just look at your phone. Exactly. Actually, I went really hard on not having my phone on holiday. How was it though on your own? Was Rose in Cornwall?

That's right, it was easier. Was it hard as a single person? To put the rumors to bed, you are together and she was on the holiday. What rumors? Pardon? No, no rumors, don't I? you are together and she was on the holiday. What rumors? Pardon? No, no rumors, don't I? Just I really want the Daily Mail to get a hold of it. That you and Rosa split up.

Well, it would just be a funny bit of content for this show. Like Ruth and Eamonn, the sort of surprise celeb split. Well, no, this won't be a surprise. It's like basically, if you do announce it, it'll be like, oh, the Tories have lost the election is like, yeah, we all know. They put up a good fight, but you do announce it, it'll be like, oh, the Tories have lost the election. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know. They put up a good fight, but we know that it's about time they changed it. What notes did you have from your holiday?

And then I'll talk about dyslexia after that. Oh, yeah. So the 2.30am flight, getting up at 2.30am for the flight at 6.30. Did you stay in a hotel? No, we didn't because we had quite a lot to do on the day before and we didn't want to set ourselves another deadline if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm going oh we've got 5 pm so it was just like at least we can relax in the evening this way. Yeah. I just don't sleep if I've got to be up after. I did get to sleep, I got four hours 10.30 till 2.30. Pretty solid at it. And I thought I'm probably gonna be fine here. I have three naps in the day.

Nap on the plane? Nap on the plane. Nap. I can't remember. But like, just, I just so when you've got a free ride, you have a nap on the plane, but then you get woken up in such a start. Like if they're like doing something, you can have like a little 10 minute nap like they're drawing or on your iPad, but then they grab you and then you start to awake.

And you're so vertical. It's not a proper nap. Oh, how's your neck napping on a plane? My neck's fine on a plane because you're not at an angle. Because you're just vertical. So my friend has got a bad neck. She's young. She's only 26, stiff neck. Who's your 26 year old female friend, Rob? Well, actually she's your producer on the Radio 2 show. Oh, right.

Do you know what? I don't see colleagues. I see friends. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. She's got a stiff neck, and the physio said it's the stiffest neck she's ever seen. Which I don't think is what you want to hear. How stiff does her neck look? Well, I don't notice her. She says she's got a bad neck, but it doesn't look like she's got a stiff neck. Because when our minds really stiff. It's not a top Trumps who's got the stiffest who,

how about Rob Brackett's friends slash colleagues has got the stiffest neck. Am I the colleague and she's the friend? My 26 year old female friend. Your 26 year old female friend. Spotted with female friend. So I can only smell her before I can see her when she's got a bad neck because the deep heat in a in an airlock studio but how do you get rid of that when she's got a bad neck because the deep heat in a in an airlock studio. But how do you get rid of that? Because she's got to sort it out.

The things I found were good were a good pillow. A good pillow is key. A good pillow is key. Yeah. And I went to the osteopath and I also got some exercise off the physio that I did morning and evening. Right. That was key. Are you still reading your phone and reading your book like a robot?

Well, this is the thing with my phone, Rob. I've really tried to cut down on my phone usage on holiday. Yeah, I'm addicted. It's bad, isn't it? Yeah. So on holiday, I wasn't taking it down to the beach. I wasn't taking it down to the pool. I wasn't taking it out at dinner.

Dinner's good, but then when you're on the beach, if the kids are playing, then I sometimes sit on the edge of the pool and watch them play. I'll have a podcast in. Yeah, I basically need an iPod from 2001. I googled iPods. Right? Yeah. I was like, what I need is something that just plays podcasts and Spotify. Yeah. Spotify plays podcasts. So you don't even need that. I just

need Spotify on the go. Yeah, basically. Right. OK, this feels like we're seamlessly leaning into a new product launch. Company man. And here is the Spotify go. I wouldn't say it feels seamless. A flunky little plug. But I know what you mean, though, that something like that would be quite good. We're going, I want to be able to listen to my podcast and music when I'm on the beach and I'm relaxing or going to the gym.

Because when I'm in the gym, I'll be listening to music. Because then I'll end up checking texts. Exactly. It's so annoying. Because I don't want a dumb phone. That's too far. That's too far. And the problem is with a dumb phone. And I'm going to say this.

Go on. It's for wankers that are trying to show off, like the pricks that used to go, we don't own a TV. You just get your little laptop out and watch BBC iPlayer, you sad little loser. Get a teller, you fucking prick. Why don't you fuck off and shove your books up your arse, you fucking snobby bastard. The kids that didn't have a TV at school, I used to think you're missing out on the best things we're talking about.

You don't know who the gladiators are. Yeah, exactly. You've never seen Jet High Kick. Exactly. You don't know who the gladiators are. Yeah, exactly. You've never seen jet high kick. Exactly. You don't know who Holly Valance is. She's a bit bad now. She's conmental. She's like a baddie from a Bond film. She was at the Farage launch. She milkshake launch. She was in attendance. The Farage launch sounds like you know when they used to dunk witches,

it feels like we've finally got him and we're launching him over the English channel. Anyway, so I don't want a dumb phone because the thing is, if I've got my phone, a lot of the things I'm doing are WhatsApps. People are like, you won't have your social media. Social media is not the one I'm most addicted to and I also need to do it for my job. Yeah, what you might say, porn

hub. The GB news app. So I've been sent by Ivo Graham, I was talking to him about it. Yeah, I haven't opened it yet. He sent me a box that you buy for your phone. Cause I was like, I'm just putting my phone in a different room. If I've got my phone on me, I'll check it, whether it's a dumb phone or a smartphone or whatever, the only way to cut down on your phone usage is to put it in a different room. And I don't miss it when it's in the different room.

Come Turkey. I don't think, Oh, I wish I could pick up my phone and check something. But when it's there, it's here now. Especially when you're working. So what's this box? It's like a special lock box. You lock it and you put a timer on it and it won't open until the time is over.

Oh, I think that's too much. What if there's an emergency? Well, he told me, do you know the comedian Celia AB? She's got one of these boxes and she got on a train and put her phone in the box and locked it. And then the guy came around to get a ticket and she couldn't get a phone out so it's locked in the box. Well, that's the problem.

She had to pay a fine. No. Well, that's the problem. If I go, oh, just get a dumb phone or I'm going to go out for the day and I don't want to have a phone, I don't want messages. I'm just going to take my new Spotify on the go product, whatever we've just invented. Yeah. Oh, I need to park my car.

Oh, I need to do that on my phone. You can't exist in the world without your phone now. That's the problem. Well, that's the problem. And I noticed when I was on holiday, I genuinely noticed this. I felt really calm. When I came back and I was just checking my phone,

I could feel myself getting more agitated. It's like a hit, isn't it? A hit of dopamine or whatever it is. Yeah, like I just picked it up then to show you myself pick up my phone and I automatically just checked WhatsApp. Anything? Yeah. Anything important? Nothing important, no. Cause that's the saddest thing is when you get back to your phone after five hours and you're like, I've missed nothing that I can't read now.

Well, I think it's a slight issue because my job, especially when I started in comedy, was all through the phone. If you wanted a gig, you had to be online all day to like, there's a gig and be the first person to reply. When an email comes in, you want to reply within a minute and all that kind of stuff to get that gig. It was so hard to get gigs.

And now I'm in a position where I don't need to reply immediately. Yes. I'm not starting out, I'm't need to apply immediately. Yes, I'm not starting out. I'm not trying to make a name for myself. I'm still got that slight money to do that. So you know that get the gig and show that I'm working hard. I'm not being lazy and that kind of stuff. But it's an old habit to get out of. Yeah. And I think some of that comes from go back to the

dyslexia thing. Oh, yeah, let's talk about that. Right. So, okay, right strapping. I sit down. It's a zoom call. Yeah, right. It's a zoom assessment. And why are you doing this now? Why am I doing this now? Well, I'm struggling with my children's homework. Right. My daughter's eight and I'm can't really do any of the English stuff. Yeah. When she's got to take information from text and write fully formed sentences. Yeah. I can't really write the sentences. Yeah. When I help her,

I actually make her homework worse. Right. And then Lou looks at me like what's going on here? And I'm like, oh, I've helped. But did you know at school you had it? Did you think? Well, so my dad didn't sort of read till he was about 40 or to read a book and read and write. It's not great. One of my younger brothers definitely got dyslexia. He got diagnosed and he had like the extra help. I think he had a computer and extra time in exams and stuff. And then there's other members of my family, my older brothers may have it, but they're older so they wouldn't have been diagnosed

in time and stuff and I think my niece has it. So it's in the family and it is hereditary and stuff like that. And I couldn't help her with the homework and stuff like that. So I signed up to this dyslexia thing. And then I spoke to the people doing it and I said, there's a lot of people do it because they can't do the homework with the kids.

So I sat down, Josh, and I'm on a Zoom and I've been really busy. So I was like, I'll do that. Takes three hours. I sit down and Zoom, was happily called Lynn. And she says, why do you want an assessment? I was basically say, oh, because of my brother, my dad.

And like, I can't help my kids with the homework and stuff like that. And then she's lovely, but she's quite teacher-y. It's like a teacher pupil assessment. And as I'm sitting there talking to her, I can feel myself getting hot. I'm getting sweaty. I'm agitated. And it was almost like an out of body experience where I'd been shrunk down to a little eight-year-old again in a classroom. And as I'm telling her why I want to get a diagnosis, I burst into tears. Oh my God. Out of nowhere, not like I didn't feel anxious before, I didn't feel-

But it's like it's opened a thing that's been closed for 30 years. Exactly, and I found school so stressful, so exhausting and hard, and I almost like locked that away. Fuck it, ow. And I'm never in a situation now where I'm being taught anything really, you know. And also she's asking me to do certain things I don't do.

I avoid doing it. And I've realized I've engineered my entire life to stay away from those things. And so what are those things? So she did these tests. So one was I had to read some text in my head and then she asked me questions about it. And I retain zero information.

So it's a slightly different form of dyslexia. I can read quite well. Yeah. But I cannot retain information. My short-term memory for retaining information. I could read 50 words and they say, what year did they decide that they needed to help whales survive in the, you know, it was about whales in the environment. No idea. Wow. Absolutely no idea. And that's the dyslexia is that? I've got to wait for the full report but this is what I've garnered and I am new to this so I might be wrong and please tell

me otherwise but it's basically traditionally it's like you can't really read or spell very well and when you spell it's like obviously wrong so the letters sort of move around in your head and stuff like that and then that's the classic with someone can't read or they can't spell you go oh you're dyslexic. So if I want to spell the word collection, I don't sound it out in my head. I remember where I saw it written down somewhere else and copy it. Right. Yeah. So if I try to spell that, I'm seeing, I think in imagery rather than words, sounds and letters. With that Wales thing, if you'd been told that information, would that have been different to reading it?

Similar. Again, even when I'm told stuff in the short term, I'm not very good at retaining it. I can't tune into it. I don't retain the information. So I struggle with that really, is taking information and listening to it. My short term memories non existed. There's one bit where she was like, right now I'm going to say some letters and can you repeat them back to me? And she was like, CDFG. I'm like, CDFG. And

as soon as it got to five or six, like CDFG JK, I was like, it's completely gone. Wow. I remember the first three, but when I remember in the first three letters, the second three disappear. Wow. It's just not in there. And then she tried to make me do it backwards and that lasted about 10 seconds. And is it the same with numbers? I'm better at numbers than letters. I've only ever learned by rote, not by phonics. So they do a bit where they play these sounds to me. So it was like, what words this?

And it was like, g-r-a-s-s-h-o-p-p-e-r. Right. And I'm just like, I got grass at the beginning, but I couldn't work out the second bit. So then this is one of my coping mechanisms. I'd use logic to guess the second part. I'm like, well, it's sort of a H, but I don't really, the second bit. So then this is one of my coping mechanisms. I'd use logic to guess the second part. I'm not wrong. It's sort of a H, but I don't really I lost the end part of it. So I was like, I think

it's grasshopper just through process of elimination. Yeah, not because I understood the sounds. And so could you learn that? I don't really know really, I don't know enough about it yet. Yeah, I think it's more your brain isn't working that way. So it's finding other ways to work. Yeah. So then what I really struggle with is if I've got ideas, I can only get them out of me verbally and record it out loud or bullet points.

Yeah. I can't retain what it is that's in my head and put it into a sentence structure that traditionally makes sense in written English, because trying to remember the commas, the grammar, how it all positions, what word should come after the other, so it makes it a full flowing sentence. By the time I'm trying to work all that out,

the idea's gone. So how did you write your book? Just to be clear to people, you, unlike a lot of celebrities, did write your book. Yeah, no, yeah, so I didn't have a ghost writer, but I wanted to do that because when I used to try and read these books that celebrities have written, I could tell it wasn't in their voice. And I

think it's actually quite important for it to be in the voice of someone that does suffer with those sort of things. So the way I did it was it's much easier for me on a laptop because there's a freedom on a word processor. That's why it's better to have a laptop in exams for dyslexic people because the computer does a bit of your spelling. Yeah. Actually writing hurts my hand. It's not very neat at all, but typing, it helps me do it. And I can get it all out and then it's saved up there and I can copy and paste it and re, I can move it around after.

Yeah. Because what happens is if I'm trying to get it written properly, I lose all the ideas. But if I can just purge all the ideas and then later on, I can go back, I know I've got my ideas out, then I can go using the I know I've got my ideas out, then I can go using the software, you know, the word processing stuff, I know right that needs a comma there, that needs a new paragraph, but when I'm writing I can't do it and as I was doing these assessments

I was so overwhelmed with stress and worry and I'm getting like, I'm sweating, I'm getting upset again and I'm like oh my god. So she must see that a lot. I don't know about that much crying from a 40-year-old man. So much therapy now though, if I feel an emotion strongly like that out of nowhere, I know what that is, is it's opening up a pain body memory that's been locked away. That you've not accessed because as you become an adult, you choose to stay away from it. Yeah, of course. Well, it's like avoiding an injury, isn't it? It's like learning to walk to avoid an injury on your knee. Yeah, like limping around.

So, for example, some people would have to go on a creative writing course. Yeah, that would be my hell. But I'm an adult and I don't have to. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So like, I'm no good at writing it down. So that's why I'm improvise on stage. I just do bullet points. I remember it because it's all techniques I've sort of learned.

Yeah. So writing on a word processor really helps. But then at the end, so I've done all these assessments and I can sort of tell, I've sort of know I've got dyslexia because you know, when you're doing a test for something, it's like when you go to doctors and you go, I think my ankle's all right. And they go, okay, can you do five steps on it? Yeah. You do two and they go sit down, you know? Well, it's like when you're doing one of those tests to see if you've got X or Y, you know, really which answers are the ones that say that you've got it?

Well, yeah. And if she's asking you to repeat four numbers backwards, and you can't do it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think you should be asked to four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just saying, I know, I've got no idea. Yeah. And she literally saw her do like a big tick on her page. So we did this assessment, one of the agents, she made me write for 10 minutes. And it was awful on a bit pen and paper. And that was really bad. And then I'm sad. And then she said, Okay, well, I'll send you the full report. She's really lovely. She was really just from the British Dissexual Association. They're really good. And she said, Yeah, just to let you know, you do have dyslexia. And then actually hearing it from someone who's like, Yeah, a specialist and trained in it, not like, well, I've probably got that because of what I've garnered. Yeah, she told me, Josh, I burst into tears again. But honestly, so badly, like, it was meant it was like a per, it was like I've done our Alaska, you know, when people talk about being like,

DMT and they're shitting and being sick and crying. empty and they're shitting and being sick and crying. And then she hits the zoom. And I was just like, and it was like an out of body experience of emotion. And because I've done a lot of this therapy, I sit with it rather than trying to go no more, because you have to allow your body to do what it needs to do. If you continue to lock it up, it's no good. And honestly, I was crying and couldn't probably speak for about two minutes, which doesn't

sound long. But when you're on a zoom with one person called Lynn, who's just looking at it. And then I was just trying to explain to them, I'm okay, but I think Lynn probably needed more therapy after it than me. But do you know what it was? It was just, it was almost like a fog had been lifted and a release of like, every question I had had been answered about why I found it so tough all those things the way my self-worth and confidence was so low. Obviously it's going to be so low if you're trapped in an education system that's not designed for you.

And then I went on to I did A levels and a degree. It's amazing that you didn't just fuck it off at 16. I've mentioned this before my first parents evening when I was like five or six, when I was like, Rob's never going to be a high flyer. Don't, you know, he's not really. Yeah. Well, why? Just fucking write me off.

Yeah. You know, I've been told I was stupid. I was thick. I was not intelligent. You're not trying properly. Stop being lazy. I was trying 10 times more than the other kids in the cast. Do you think it's different now?

Do you know what? I hope so, but I don't really think so, because it's so hard to get a an assessment, you know, NHS, you've got to wait for a dyslexia assessment for weeks and weeks, months, sometimes a year. Yeah, that's another year of education, and that's an important time. But I do think that as much as it's important for kids to be diagnosed massively, because it will affect their their education and they need that computer, they need that extra time. As adults you sort of think, well why do I need to know? And that's what I feel. I feel like, well even if I am, who cares? I've only got an exam, I do my job,

I'm successful in my job, I'm confident and I've created a world where it doesn't matter that I've got dyslexia. But I would say for your own mental health and your old understanding of your journey from a child to an adult, it really, for me, all locked in and joined in all these, why did I feel like that? Why did that? It answered a lot of questions and made a lot of things make sense. Yeah, yeah, totally. And since it's like, oh, of course that happened and I got upset then because... So do you feel different since? It is like a weird weight's been lifted.

Yeah. And I understand the way I was treated, the way I behaved, the way I reacted to things, why I didn't have as much confidence, why I felt certain things, why I found things difficult, and stuff like that. And I think, you know, and now it's sort of almost like the windows are clean and I can see through the glass

and understand why, and understanding why does help you with how you feel now and, you know, what shaped you as a kid and stuff. So if you do have a chance, an opportunity or you're in a position you can do it. Yeah, what would you advise to an adult who thinks that they have dyslexia? Well what I might do is when I get my full report from the dyslexia, sorry if this is I've banged on or is a bit of a problem. No, it's absolutely fascinating. It does affect kids and stuff and also it affects adults. When I spoke to the British

Dyslexia Association, it's adults that really suffer with. And also it affects adults. When I spoke to the British Disaster Association, it's adults that really suffer with it, that weren't diagnosed and then they can't help their kids. And anything that has not been nice in people's life, affects later behavior, normally happens in childhood, to certain levels of degree. Some children can have terrible abuse, some children wore the wrong outfit one day,

and then whenever they go out dressed up, it still makes them anxious going out because that's where people fall most of their pain to whatever level of severity and what happens when you have children I think there's a lot of parents listening is you think you've dealt with stuff but then what happens is your children come home with the problems you had as a child but you've not dealt with them you've distracted yourself or aimed your life in a different way it will reopen old wounds and stuff and then you're trying to do the homework and you can't do it and then you feel like a little... So it will sort of come back up

again. So what I'd say is that the British Dyslexia Association has been really good. They've got a great website and they're on Instagram and stuff. And they do have advice for adults and children that have got dyslexia or you think you've got dyslexia. But what I'm going to do is when I get the full report, I'm gonna ask them to give me a list of places to go if you think you've got it as an adult, and if you think your child's got it. Because even though I think I've probably got the career

I've got because of it, because I had to find these coping strategies and it's sort of been beneficial in a way. Just understanding how I felt and the way that impacted me in those years has really helped me now. So when I get really anxious going to like script meetings, and they'll talk me through the whole script. And it's a waste of time for me because it's nothing's

going in. Yeah, I'll learn by doing it. But I have to understand though that 80 90% of the population that really helps them. Yeah, rather than get my backup not knowing why, why have I got my backup in this group, me? Why, this is a waste of time. But then I go, actually, yes, it is a waste of time for me, but it's not for everyone else, and it's a collaborative project.

So sit there quietly. Don't panic that it's not going in, because the way you operate, Rob, it will go in later. But the people in this room, they need to say out loud, because that's how it goes in for them. Yeah. But understanding that difference, because if you're going in with it,

with a chip on your shoulder, not understanding why you feel stressed and frustrated, then that can cause arguments in work and in stuff like that, you know? You can just look at your phone. Yeah. You can just spend the script meeting looking at your phone. Look at my phone, this ain't going in either.

Nothing's going in. Just have to go out and do it. But yeah, sorry if I've blabbered on there. No, it's amazing and fascinating and such an important thing to talk about. And crucially, Rob, feels the time we're contractually obliged to do. You tapped out there for about 10 minutes, which I respect in a way. That's great. I know. But I was incredibly, people at home, we were paid the same amount for that 10 minutes.

You can see our double acts start to fall apart. You can see our double ax starts to fall apart. I'm sure we do small business. Yeah, let's do small business. You want me to set a lead on this Rob? Earn some of my bloody money. Right. Hello, despite being 16, I'm a regular listener to the podcast. It gets me through cold and tiring commutes to college.

Amazing. I was listening to this episode. I already have four children and I pardon now a bit of fun, bit of fun. What's the small business their womb. I was listening to an episode and heard about Josh's laundry crisis. Please could I get a shout out for my mum's company, Interior White. They drew laundry cabinets in all sizes to fit in with your space and hide the laundry pile up when Josh makes pitiful excuses for not having done it. These teenagers have got so much bloody attitude these days, Rob. I've been the forwarder of attitude. Yeah. They also do lots of other furniture, knickknacks for Rose, gifts and toys for the kids, particularly with a focus on STEM to get them excited about science and tech through games and experiments. Thanks for the laughs. Lucy, that is interior white. What's STEM? That is

tech and science and maths, isn't it? I think science, technology, engineering and mathematics. Right. Okay, that okay, but I get you. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hi, Rob and Josh. We are Tiana Tiana and Darcy young creatives who started crochet workshops based in London, we think your audience will love. At London crochet workshops, we're all about creativity and relaxation. It's a bit like your coloring Rob. We offer beginners crochet tutorials that are perfect for anyone looking to pick up a new hobby. Learn the basics of crochet with the help of two experienced crochet experts. Perfect for complete beginners. We provide all the materials needed to

get started. Master chain and double stitches and explore more advanced techniques if you're up for the challenge. Take home a crochet kit so you can continue your creative journey at your own pace. Our workshops are not just about learning, they're about having fun, relaxing and tapping into your Ooh! Take home a crochet kit so you can continue your creative journey at your own pace. Our workshops are not just about learning, they're about having fun, relaxing, and tapping into your creative side. Plus, throughout the tutorial, our instructors are available to answer any crochet questions you may have.

You'll find our event on Eventbrite if you search Beginner's Crochet Workshop with Tyana and Darcy. Is it Tiana? Tiana? Is it spelled T-I-A-N-A? Yes. Only because I know Princess Tiana.

Ah, well there we go. That is a perfect end to the dyslexia chat in a way. Wait. Also, what's the difference between crocheting and knitting? I already know. Do you want to know? No. Yeah, I do want to know.

Sorry, I thought you were going to say do you know? Okay, fine. Now in knitting, the stitches form a V shape. No, yeah, I do want to know. Sorry, I thought you're gonna say do you know? No, in knitting the stitches form a V shape in crochet, they're more like knots. Oh, there we go. Someone stopped me on a train or was on a plane or somewhere in the last week. I can't remember where I was going to say that she had been a small business and genuinely couldn't believe how many people have got in touch. So thanks for our listeners. Oh, yes. Thank you very much. You do make a massive difference. Yeah, making a difference to these places.

Yeah. Brilliant. Well, Josh, I'll see you next time. Thank you. See you later. Goodbye. Bye. I'm Natalie Cassidy, and I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time. And here it is. I'm going to be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly, you. I want to talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile, and how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people.

So get on board, become part of my community and let's have a laugh. Hello, I'm Marcus Brigstock. And I'm Rachel Paris. This is How Was It For You, a review based podcast. We're going to be asking each other, how was it for you? It was pretty good, Rachel. About all sorts of different things. Things we've eaten.

Things we've seen. Places we've been. Things we've smelled. People we've met sometimes. Those will be, we'll have to talk about them without giving away who they were. And that will be the challenge you as a listener can enjoy. Exactly. You can get all of the episodes in the places where podcasts are.