Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S8 EP49: The Fathers Day Debrief

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Sebi, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Very good. And can you say Josh Whittekam?

Josh Whittekam. Fantastic. Oh, God. That cough sounded a bit bad, didn't it? On me or the kid? Was that on the kid or was it on the mum? I did a cough. Oh, did you? No, no.

I was overlapping the coughs. I've got a chest infection. Oh Rob, I'm sorry. Now I don't want to try and nick the sort of bad cough compliment from the other guys. Yeah, yeah. What was going on there then with those kids? Who are they, Josh?

Hey, you sexy and relatable bastards. And Michael, bit of fun. Did you like sprinkle that in yourself or is that- No, that's theirs. That's lovely. This is my San Sebastian in brackets, Sebi attempting the intro. I started listening to the podcast after Sebi was born in 2021. As a newborn, he would only sleep on me or my husband. So we'd take shifts overnight in those early weeks,

binge the back episodes, trying to keep myself awake on my shift. Sometimes I laughed so hard, I was sure I'd wake him up. Thankfully not. And after sleep training him at 12 weeks, he is now an excellent sleeper. Ooh! Thanks for the laughs and the parenting camaraderie, Alex, 448 months, and Seb, Sebastian or Sebi, two and a half. I used to like the name Sebi.

Do you remember Sebi Ballesteros? Sebi's a good name. Yeah, it was good, wasn't it? Was it short for? I always presumed it was short for Sebastian, but I don't know why it would be. No idea. You want to have a look? Only time you heard it was Sevi Ballesteros. I think I need sleep training just for me.

It's Severanio. Oh, here we go. Severanio Ballesteros. Severanio Ballesteros. Severanio Ballesteros. Severanio Widdicombe. Are they Widdicombe's or Widdicombe Hanson's, your kids? Hanson Widdicombe's. Hanson Widdicombe's.

Yeah. Hanson Widdicombe's. Hanson Widdicombe's. It's a long name to spell in here for your kids. Yeah. Well, you know. My mum just had this fucking lot of fucking about it. I know, that's fucking 2023.

Widow comes a piss take on its own. It's bad enough in that, what is it? Ten letters? Can't imagine if they're footballers. They'll have to print it on the end of their sleeve. That's go long sleeve. No worries there, Rob. No worries there.

Oh, God. Josh, I'm tired. I've had a chest infection and it's very, my house is a very emotional house Josh. Yeah. I've got two daughters and a wife. I'd hope by now you thought I'm aware of that. Yeah I know but just for any new listeners and I don't know if it is a female thing or

just a child thing. I don't want to start walking the tumultuous path of gender. Yeah, of course. Of course everyone's different. However, the three women in my house are very similar. Are they? Yes. It's all quite touchy. There's lots of tears. A child will cry at a lost Teddy. Yeah. To the point where it looks like they've been lost in the woods for months on their own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've just found them. They're that level of devastated. Yeah. And I'd be like, what's up? And she's like, I just can't find Angel, big pink Angel. I use as a pillow. Where's Angel? And I'm like, Oh God. And then I'm like,

we have to chuck some old ones and then charity shop some other Teddys because they don't need or you, you know what it's like. I saw panic buyers when they're kicking off or whatever. So I was like, Oh God, did I get rid of a big pink angel? I walk in the bedroom. There is literally a pile of Teddys have not even been touched. Like a mound, like a bundle, you know, bundle, a bundle of Teddys. Right. Like I say to my daughter, well, where have you looked then? She went everywhere. I pick up the first Teddy. It's the one underneath that one. Early run as well. I don't know my lines, my assembly tomorrow. I've got three lines, only know one.

Okay, well what line do you know? Welcome to the assembly. It's like, right, okay. Well, that's in the bag. I think you could have hunched that one. You've locked that one down. Even if you didn't know it, I reckon you could have started with that and no one would have like gone, is that the right one?

Yeah. And then I was like, but you've got a day, but I don't know. And then I've lost the script. Found the script. We've had that all the time, Josh. Oh dear. And this is like 6.30 AM. I'm bagging up a bin. Yeah. And that's a six and an eight year old. That's only going to get more emotional. I feel like I need to batten down the hatches now. The storm is coming. You've seemed to have thrown Lou into that as well.

Yes. You said all three. I wouldn't say Lou's emotional as much as the girls but I think she can. This is too early and too raw and too honest. I spent ages trying to get on the internet wouldn't work. Couldn't get on Google Chrome, Josh. I had to download Brave. Looks like a fake internet browser. It's like Salford City's badge, because you can't use Zencaster on Safari for fuck knows why.

I'd say Lou can be a victim of her own chemicals with hormones. Is that allowed? Yeah, it's allowed to say it. You say it out. Yeah, so you're allowed to say it. It's not Lou, it's the chemicals in her godforsaken body that will sometimes change her mood and her vibe.

Are you saying the chemicals in her body aren't Lou? Well, on Saturday the chemicals in her body were mainly Prosecco and unlimited punch at a brunch. Lou was going to have her hen do right. I was working, I was away and unlimited punch at a brunch. Louis got out for a hendu, right? Yeah. I was working, I was away working all day. So Louis got a baby sister to come.

But the hendu was like an early brunch thing. So the babysitter ended up coming around at 9.30am, right? Yeah. Because Louis panics about getting to places. So Louis had to be somewhere at 11.30am. Where was it? Bristol? No, in London. But she's allowed two hours there,

oh. It's a 20 minute train, 10 minute drive to the station, so you do need that two hours. Anyway, but it's up to her to do it. Yeah. She got the baby sitting there at 9.30 and then said, I'll be back like mid afternoon, because she's supposed to be finishing at about like 2, 3 o'clock. That sounds, just to stop you there, the thought of going on the lash till 2.30pm. Well, mid afternoon, say 4 o'clock then.

Right, till 4. And then calling it a day and coming home and doing bedtime. Sounds like an unbearable setup. Why are you starting so early? Isn't the point of starting so early? So that you go all day. Like that's the point. It isn't like, let's get this in the bag and then we can be watching gladiators by 6pm. I feel like you've gone into lose mind. That's exact conversation.

I think she had with herself for about three o'clock on that Saturday. Yeah. Then I get a message. She rings me like absolutely. Well, not shit, but a little bit merry. She'll be quite pissed. Well, I'm coming back from filming. Yeah.

I'm in the car and it's a long way, it's quite a long drive. So I'm getting back about half seven, eight. Lou's like, you'll be back before me. I'm like, what? I thought you were coming back mid afternoon. She's basically dragged it out. So the fucking babysitter's only done a 12 hour shift.

I mean, that's genuinely against EU law, I think. Like, there's no lunch hour. We're not in the EU, Rob. That's why Lou voted Lenny. That's why Lou is one of the staunchest Brexiteers. She hates Brexit. One of the staunchest Brexiteers I know. Purely so she can go on the Megalash.

Well, yes, so she's on the Megalash. She's going to be up in the Hgg on charges of human rights for poor Lisa. Anyway, I'll go first. And then Lou stumbles in a bit later. She wanted me that drunk. She was having a good time. And I think he just got carried away and stuff. But then she's like, can you apologize to Lisa for me?

Because Lou gets so anxious and stressed if she's like, think she's done so wrong or like, stay that to you. I was like, well, I'll say sorry, Lisa, but I'm sure she's fine. Lisa didn't mind at all. Really? Of course she didn't. It's absolute. It's free bonds. It's like once you're there, if you haven't got anything else in your diary, she was probably thinking she's going to start to like

take stuff out the next day. You shouldn't be doing breakfast and bedtime in one shift, should you? I just don't think a champagne breakfast. Prosecco. Prosecco, sorry. Prosecco breakfast. Unlimited rum punch, go on. Unlimited rum punch.

Drag queens. I don't think you can then, in good conscience, just chuck everyone at a call it a day. I think you've got to see it through till bedtime. I agree. And I think Lou got there a little bit too early where, and I think they got on there a bit. I think it actually started at half 12, but the hen do wanted to meet at half 11. So I think Lou

in hindsight probably would have got Lisa. Yeah, they're a bit later and then gone on a bit later. But yeah, also when we got back, we found out that dog had chewed the babysitter's shoe, Lisa's shoe and done a piss on the floor. So now it's the shoe salvageable. Depends if you want a sandal. salvageable? Depends if you want a sandal. So have you had to buy any shoes? Yeah, so I'm gonna have to buy new shoes. So lose now in the awkward position of sort of kind of guesstimate. How did she get home?

Well, I never saw the shoe. You don't want to overpay for the shoe or underpay. I think it's weird to wear Chanel to a babysitting. Well, it was actually the first time I put my Chanel's on for the babysitting. The boots, yeah, knee-high boots. Yeah. Diamond studded. Yeah, so Lou was in a bit of a...

So she's had to guesstimate Lisa's feet size. I don't think you pay for that. No, no, no, we're probably just friends with the money. Lou's not going to go out and buy her shoes. Right. I thought you said guesstimate. I thought you were... No, no, how much to pay friends with the money. Lou's not gonna go and buy a shoe. Right, I thought you said guestimate. I thought you were- How much to pay for-

How much the shoes are worth? Oh, sorry, but I was thinking you were doing a kind of Cinderella style situation. No, no, no, no, no. Lou wasn't gonna go around and present a pair of shoes. I think Lou was just gonna go, oh, so here's the money to replace the shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To be fair, at least you'd won. So could we just give the money back one half a pair? Could you go into a shop and the other one will just be there? Why don't you go in and just try on a file one half a pack? Could you go into a shop and the other one will just be there? Why don't you go in and just try on a left one and run away? Yeah. So apologies, Lisa, for that. But no, Lisa was absolutely fine about it.

And she was like, it's a brunch. She'll probably be late on that. She's very chilled. And also, it was only 7.30-ish I got back. And also, the handover's easier to you than to someone who's been at a bottomless Prosecco brunch and free run punch. So actually, everything worked out for the best really. It all worked out best.

It was absolutely fine. I had a hen party situation this weekend Rob. Really? Yeah. So we went to three families. We went to Caboo. Oh yeah, you went away for the weekend for farmer's day weekend. We're a bit ahead because I'm filming a lot in June, so we're sort of a little bit ahead

with filming. So sorry, it's not exactly on the week, but we'll get back to that in the summer. No, yeah. But I think Rishi Sunak is going to do a good job. I think he'll be better than Liz Trust. And I think once we catch up. It's good stuff, actually. Bit of fun, isn't it? It's a bit of fun. It'll be a November election. No, we are actually doing this on the 17th of June. Yeah. If you want to picture it, England have just won their first game. I watched it with my daughter, Rob, actually, last night.

I'll teach her. She's got into it a bit because they're doing it at school. Playing football, not talking about the Euros. Talking about the Euros. They've all been given teams, they've run a sweepstake. Well, sorry, where does she work? Quickfit with their lads? What's going on here?

They've got a sweepstake at the school. I know they all had to put in a hundred quid, which I felt was a bit much. Cash. Cash. Daddy could have a hundred quid because I've got Poland in the sweepstake. And a pound for odd tights day tomorrow. You can't have odd tights, can you? They're all connected, aren't they?

Well, you know, you could knock them together. Cut them in half, give them to my dog for a bit. I had to give her pajamas this morning to go swimming in. Oh, do you know what? This morning was an absolute joke of what was going on, right? So we signed up to all these clubs. So Lou said it out loud, because Lou's in charge really of,

this is mental load stuff. Yeah. She's in charge of what the kids need for school, because she's the homeboy and that's one of her jobs. Okay, and I have jobs as well, but that's one of her jobs to do within the relationship. Well, we're happy, we're happy with how it's been out. Luke can come on it, right to reply. But today, my oldest, I have athletics club before school. Yeah. Then she also needed a guitar, she does guitar lessons.

Oh my goodness. Then she needed an empty Tupperware box because she's doing cooking again. Yeah. So coleslaw three days in a row coming for me. Do they provide the ingredients? Yes, they do do the ingredients before which is others good, but they're doing quite low like easy stuff anyway Yeah, there's swimming as well. It's swimming day in the PE Yeah And then also at the end of that she goes to this little club the performance club thing off school and easy little outfit for that Fucking hell, that's insane How often your kids going to clubs? Too much. Yeah. They're club obsessed. Oh, well, they're just, we go, do you want to do that?

And they're like, yeah. And I was like, well, I want them to be able to try all different things. Yeah, of course. All in one day. It's a lot in a day, isn't it? How much of that are you taking in? Yeah. You're doing your swimming lesson thing with the class. She's doing athletics. She's doing cook.

How's she fitting into the school day? Because swimming, that's got to be two hours, right? Once you've got there, got changed. No, I think they literally pop them in for about 10 minutes and get them out again just to fill an hour. Yeah, maybe. And then cooking's got to be longer than an hour, hasn't it? It's more chopping and airing. But can you imagine being a teacher and go, what are you doing today? I'm taking 25 kids swimming. Fuck that. But can you imagine being a teacher and go, what are you doing today? I'm taking 25 kids swimming. Fuck that. But I think they have a different swimming teacher at my daughter's school.

So I think for the teacher, it's almost like a handoff. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, for the teacher. But then for the person that does it, I mean, you just get used to it, I suppose. Don't use any job. You just get used to it after a while. Like, that's what I do. You get a system in place.

You plow on. Because my daughter, because her teacher, who's incredible, is like Miss Honey, right? Yeah. Matilda. And she's like, just so nice. My daughter loves her. Right. Everyone loves her. Is she reception your daughter? No, she's year one. Year one now. Yeah. Yeah. And then my daughter was like the swimming teacher. I'm not sure

if I was swimming because he shouts at us. And it's like, yeah, of course he fucking shouts mate, because you're in a loud pool. And you could all die. Like, you didn't say that did you? No, but there's no way a swimming teacher can go softly, softly. No, no, yeah, just pop your head up there. Try and get some air. Try and keep that water out. You've got to let them test whether they can do it themselves.

Like there's just no way. So I think it must be difficult. It must be difficult. My dog doesn't, not a massive fan of French. No. I don't know if the French is quite strict. Is that for them lose Brexit thing? No, lose very much pro Europe.

Very much would love to remain or to rejoin. Talking of pro Europe, so we were watching the Euros last night, right? Yes, oh yes, we've got your daughter, go on. So I realised by the age of six, I was into football. 1989, I remember I was a Liverpool fan growing up. Yeah. Before I started going to watch Plymouth. Yeah.

And you'll be fully aware that in 1989, Liverpool lost the league in the last minute of the whole league to Arsenal. Yep, Michael Thompson. Thomas, sorry. Yeah. And I cried. Oh. So I would have been about six. So my daughter's already the age I was obsessed with football. Did you remember watching that on the telly then? And all I really remember is crying.

And that is why foot was a great thing to introduce. I thought I need more of this in my life. I don't remember seeing it or what was happening, but I remember being upset. And then I knew I was in love. Also, you were so upset that you end up going to watch fucking Plymouth. Well, yeah, of course, love. Also, you were so upset that you ended up going to watch fucking Plymouth. Well, yeah, of course. It was easier when you were a kid, because you were so small,

you could just see it being booted in the air every three seconds. You thought they were rugby players for the first two years. I'm going to have some sick-head Plymouth fan livid that in 1990 we played good football. No, but our football then, Rob, I mean, this isn't for paroling how tactical discussion, but our football was so bad, so long ball that I recently met the goalie that we had then.

Yeah. And he said one of their training drills would be the manager would go out with a stopwatch and make the goalie kick the ball in the air. And it had to be in the air for over three seconds so that people could get underneath it. So not only did he have to kick it far, he had to kick it high. High! Let it hang! Let it hang in the air!

Hang GK! Let it hang! Just so enough tall blokes can get underneath it. That Serbian team were massive there, weren't they? Poor Harry Kane got absolutely battered. Anyway, let's not talk about football. Anyway, I watched it with my daughter. Oh, back to football again. She got loads and loads of questions about it.

Right. She was absolutely, who's that? Why have they picked it up? Why are they throwing it in? If I- She's voted to be number 10, should Jude drop back and play eight, stick Trent on the bench? As Trent Alexander-Arnold,

is it wrong to change his position so close to the tournament? Gallagher look busy, but Izzy is creative enough. Koby Manu obviously a great talent, but is he too young? That kind of stuff. Exactly, yeah. Why is Pickford so fucking mental? She thinks on the Manu thing, she says, if you're good enough, you're old enough. That's what she says. Exactly.

If you're good enough, you're old enough. Doing a GCSE six week, isn't she? Exactly, exactly. Good for her. Good on her. No, but she was quite into it. And then when we scored, I'll show you a picture of when we scored. Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, so that's me throwing my son in the air when we scored. My daughter actually was quite scared. She was like, what's going, like, why are you acting like this? Yeah. Because it was like a different side to, like, why would I do that in any other situation?

My kids aren't bothered at all because I watch all the time. Right, so you're always like... It's just like this football on the go. Yeah! Because I was like properly cheering and she was like, what the fuck's going on here? Because I was laying in my bed watching it because I'd put the kids to bed, because they're not bothered. It was 8 o'clock and they've been so busy. I get onto them, my daughter had to sleep over at her school, so they were knackered. She was in bed and then like, she comes down, I'm just not sleeping.

I'm not, I was like, well, you can read a book. You are looking better now, go on, just read a book. And I'm scorned as she stood in front of me. What happened, why are you like that? I was like, oh, just don't worry, don't worry. Oh, my cleaner is outside the house, I think. Really? It's in Spanish. Oh yeah, you're still going with the Spanish cleaner? Of course house, I think. Really? It's in Spanish. Oh, yeah.

You're still going with the Spanish cleaner? Of course, she's great. Should I ask her about them changing Jif to Sif? Well, no, because we can't have a conversation about, you know, anything, let alone... Oh, right. Okay, fair enough. Brand names changing. Apparently they changed that because the Spanish accent couldn't say Jif. It was Jif.

She's written it in Spanish. Buenos dias, Josh. Let me try and get it. Buenos dias. Good day, Josh. Let me try and get it. Buenos dias, good day, Josh. Estoy aquefera de su casa. I am at your house. Yeah, and then she's put a little emoji of a house.

Oh, right, okay, that helps. But I got that before the... Yeah, yeah. Pretty good, actually, wasn't it? Gracias. I put coming. Right, I'll be back in a sec. You put coming.

And the emoji emoji put was the aubergine and some little bits of water. She's not got a key. A lot of questions. It's always a lot of questions, isn't it? The thing is, everyone's lives to be odd. But it's not that often that everyone puts it out there. Yeah, that's very true. Sometimes I catch myself eating. I do a thing with yogurts, Michael, especially these protein ones where it's disgusting. I'm sorry. As I'm eating, I'm sort of pushing it back out my mouth until it makes a little

pop sound. Right. And then Louis talks to me and I was doing it. She went, what the fuck are you doing? And I went, what is this? Sometimes I'll eat yoghurt. She went, it's disgusting. I went, I'll just do that. She went, yeah, no, just stop. I went, and then it makes it pop. Then as I did it, a bit of yoghurt came off and landed on my top. She's disgusting. I was like yeah it is actually. Josh was just talking about um does she not have a key or cleaner? No. No okay. Does that mean difficulty always have to be in when she comes?

It's not that much of a problem actually normally. Okay. Because I'm doing this. Fair enough no worries. Yeah. We're'm doing this. Fair enough, no worries. Yeah. We're talking about. Oh yeah, so we watched the Euros and my daughter also had another experience this weekend. So we went to Cabo. Yeah.

It was lovely, great time out by all. There was a hen do there. Oh, a Cabo. Yeah. It's quite a chilled out place for a hen do, isn't it? It is very chilled out, but they were quite nice. Like they weren't like problematic. Older, younger, second marriage, what's the vibe?

I like first marriage. First marriage? Probably 15 of them in sparkly cowboy outfits. Oh, kill me. Never been a fan of the dressing up for a hen, I was like, dude, when I was younger. No, no, me neither. Listening to a lot of, have you been?

No, no, no, I haven't. So there's a main bit, which is like a kind of- A clubhouse, a posh clubhouse. Yeah. They wouldn't call it that, because they want to make it like not. Well, there's no bar or anything. It's like, it's free.

Like there's a table, terms table, there's a whole kitchen. Oh, okay. There's tables, there's all that kind of stuff. Everyone can use if they want. Everyone can use if they want. How many cabins we talking? We were cabin number 17, so there's at least 17.

So it's quite a few then. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know, there's many more than that. Maybe they haven't numbered them. I don't think there's 17. So maybe they start the numbers higher just to get a feeling of, you know. Something going on. Yeah.

Because in American films, it's like house number one thousand three hundred forty five. But you must have started at like 800. Yeah. Yeah, like the Simpsons are anyway. Well, do you know what number the Simpsons are at? They're Evergreen Terrace. It's quite high, isn't it?

You don't know that. They are quite a high number. You've got to guess it. Let me look, you guess. 532 Evergreen Terrace. What is it? 102. I can't remember.

I used to watch it so religiously. The thing is, classic sibling rivalry. My brother loved it so much that I went off it a bit. Oh yeah. It was the same with I used to watch Friends and my brothers didn't like it. And they said that watching Friends as like a 12 year old boy in South East London, because it was American, you are, what was she watching? What's that? Right. I was just about some friends that live in a flat together in New York. And I'm like, what? Like, look lads,

the boys, let go. I got accused of being gay. Yeah, of course. For watching Friends. What was the number you guessed at? 525, 525, something like that. Oh, not 742. 742. There you go. There can't be a 742. Springfield's quite small. I'm gonna shock you there Josh, it doesn't exist. It's all made up.

No, they must cheese. Anyway, my daughter watching the hen do. Right. Her and her friend are both sick. What Lou there was it? My daughter was like, why are they finishing at four? It feels mad. Like, they've only just got the momentum going. They just were so into it. Because they were like, you could see they were thinking, I can't believe adults are behaving like this. And they're dancing. And they're wearing sparkly cowboy hats. And you think, and it's like to children, it's like, oh my God, these are the best adults ever. And how did you feel?

What, about the Hendo? Yeah. All right, yeah. I was fine. It wasn't annoying then. No, it wasn't that bad. The place is big and it wasn't that bad. It was just like, oh, I don't know. It added a bit of atmosphere, if anything.

Did it? A bit of a vibe. Because also they had some, you know, those letters, like letter bunting. You know, that kind of where they have letters. Yeah. It said, let's party bitches. But they changed it. They moved the B so that the children in the place wouldn't read it. Oh, that's sort of sweet, but also, fun police.

We didn't ask for that. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not accusing you. Excuse me. Could you please change the spelling because my daughter can actually read. I know that you also like to do your year presentation where you go through all your friends you don't like. But yeah, it was fun. You had separate cabins as well, didn't you, to all the others? Yeah, so three families, three cabins, which it works really well Rob that.

Yeah. I mean, I know it's cheaper all bunking in and stuff, but sometimes it can. You've got to be a certain type of friend or family that that's fine. Yeah, yeah. Where some people are just like, this is awkward. Where do you reckon I slept? What's wrong with you? Tell me the layout again of the

cabin. Double bed in one room. Yeah. Bunks in the other. You're in the bunk. Which one? Top. Yeah. So how's that happened again? Well, my daughter wanted to go top bunk but she has a fan. Oh, you took the fan with you? Well, she's got a little travel fan. Like Joan Collins. Like that big. It plunks in. What's she doing? No, but when she does travel, she's got a little travel fam. Like Joan Collins. Like that big. It plunks in. What's she doing? No, but when she does travel, she needs to sleep. What's the one that we got?

Do you remember when I got it for her and we were both laughing at how small it was? That's the one she still uses with the funny branding. That's like Wayne Rooney because he has a hairdryer blown in his face. Exactly. Great man. Great man. Great man. Great footballer. Great man.

Oh yeah, he's Plymouth manager now isn't he? Yeah. He's gonna be so shit for you. No he's not. He's gonna tell you. He's gonna give a fuck. He's in euros isn't he? Of course he gives a fuck. Why would he do it otherwise? Something to do.

No one moves to Plymouth for something to do. He must be on the run then. Why? I just don't get it. He's worth about, probably about £100 million. He wants to be a football manager. But Plymouth? Yes! We're in the championship. You're middle of nowhere. Exactly, so he must want to do it.

Woah. What was that sound? I just don't get why he's took it. You must think the same. No, because he wants to be a football manager. You will go to a proper football club then near your house. We're not going to a proper football club. You're not, you'll be in League One in two years. We won't be in League One in two years, we'll be in there next year.

I don't think you've got the infrastructure around you to build up and go beyond the championship, so... You'll see. Okay, I'll see. Anyway, so, Wayne Rooney, we're talking about... Oh no, top buck, top buck. This is so... keep going off track. Okay, I'll say anyway. So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Shell. Where's Rose? What do you think? There is going to get a point, Josh. Why isn't she there? Well, she's been there for the last four days because she goes at the start of the week when we record. So it always falls on a record day.

Yeah, but it's still like, so the last one, it's the final tidy out one now, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, sorry, go ahead. What were you saying? So we got side-tracked the roses away again and we were talking about when you went away with Rose and you were in test. This is a mess, this episode. Well, no, no, no, no, I'll get it.

But basically we were talking about Rose not being at home and then we were talking about when you went away with Rose and you weren't- This is a mess, this episode. Well, no, no, no. I'll get it. Basically, we were talking about Rose not being at home and then we were talking about when you went away with Rose and you slept in separate beds. Carry on. Do you know what I was thinking at this morning? I was thinking, because I went away last week. So I was in Bristol and Telford last week. What a fucking life.

I want to hear about how that went as well. The spa awards. Have you made the train? Because you was worried about your blood test. You had to get on a train. Oh, yeah, yeah. The spa awards. So I went to do the blood test.

I was pretty brave with the needle. Yeah. And I said, how much blood are you going to take? She said five test tubes. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Five? How many test tubes. I was like, you fucking kidding me? Five? How big are your test tubes? I said, that's what I've done it. She did it quite quickly. I was like, fucking hell, I nailed that.

And I was like, so how big are these test tubes? And she's like, that one's four mil. Yeah, that was five mil. And I was like, just fuck all in each test. I basically gave 20 mil of blood. They just split it over five tiny test tubes. Right. OK, that's fine. And enough to like, just fuck all in each test. I basically gave 20 mil of blood, they just split it over five tiny desks. Right, okay, that's fine then enough to get a little biscuit. I didn't get a biscuit. No, no, I think that's more for if you actually donate blood like yeah, because they're doing pints on there. Yeah. How many do they take for that? I don't know. I didn't get a pint because

of the Tony Hancock is very nearly an armful. It's really good things to give blood. Absolutely. I think I've never done it. I feel like you should. But I think as I was doing it, I'd be there just going, quite a lot. Will I need that? Do I need that in me? Yeah. But it's great. I'm glad I'm doing it. Obviously it's great to do it. But are you sure I don't need some of those? Bloods. Uh oh, you died. Mimpsed through a woodchipper. Absolute classic. But don't worry, you're coming to the fun place where the lava's hot and the gossip is even hotter. Welcome to Hell is the brand new comedy podcast by me, Daniel Fox, comedian, sketch hussy and Hell's resident receptionist. And me, Dane Buckley, comedian, black belt in contemporary dance and lapsed angel. Each week we read outrageous confessions from you, the listener and judge them. So come down and join us.

Welcome to Hell is available now wherever you get your podcasts. You were worried. Now let's go back to why you were worried. You were worried because you'd been away, and then Rose come back. We'd just been away so much, like just relaying. Yeah. And then when we were away together, I was in the top bunk, and she was in the double bed with my son. Because my daughter couldn't go in the top bunk because there was no fan.

Yep. And my son can't go in the top bunk because he's three. Well, the fan wouldn't reach the plug, basically. Fan won't reach. You're an extension lead away from a cabooshag. I think we're further than that. It's quite hot as well in the cab booth. Oh, we couldn't turn off the radiator on the first night. I had to get a guide to do it.

Like being in your office. I know. You should have get him to go around your house. Yeah, fucking hell. Mate, when you finish that, don't mind popping to East London, yeah? Got another radiator for you. Oh, I've got so many jobs to do today. One of them is that.

The radiator? Yeah, just loads of odd jobs. You've been lucky with a wet, cold dew, didn't you? Yeah. Because when the heat comes, you're in trouble. Yeah. You're in Strugsville, Tennessee, mate. Yeah.

What did you do at the cab? Did you just hang out then? Was there stuff to do then? So there's a swimming pool. Oh, that's perfect. Perfect for the kids. Yeah, we did the swimming pool. There's like a small one for the kids. There's a big one. It's great.

There's a beach. We did all of that stuff. We had a great time. We had a curry on the first night. We just kind of hung out. Do you know what I mean? Because your kids entertain each other. Father's Day, you get any Father's Day gifts? So obviously you get the cards made at school by the kids.

That's the classic. Yeah. An hour on, they do like a PTA thing where if you pay like five or whatever, all the kids get given something to bring back and it's sort of a way to like raise money for the PTA and the kids to- Oh, I see, yeah.

So like you just get like a mug and a pair of socks. But if you've got two kids in the school, the eggs double. So you get two of the exact same gift. What is the mug? It's like, you know, I don't want to call her options, but it's sort of the kind of like best dad in the world written on a mug and on a pair of socks.

Which when you know they're being batched out is seems quite hollow. Don't get me wrong. I love bright electric blue socks with best dad in the world written on it. Do I need two pairs? No. Do I need two mugs? No. I've only got one mouth.

Did you say to the babysitter, I know you got holes in your shoes, but if there's any help I could give you two pairs of bright electric blue socks. If you put all four on one foot you might be able to get home. Oh yeah, so you've got a card from school? Yeah, Rose's is in the post. Rose's present. Rose's present? She's got me a present.

Oh, from the kids? No, from her. Father's Day? Yeah, I know. Why, is it your dad? Oh yeah, Dan, I'll tell you that. Oh, that's alright, but you don't know what it is yet? I actually really took advantage of it Rob.

Tea in bed in the morning. Well, I sort of woke up and I got a head of lying and then there was nothing going on. I was like, I'll probably come up in a minute, see if I want a cup of tea, I'll bring me some cards. No, so I sort of got up. It's such an anticlimax. Made a bit of noise, just made a bit of noise,

just made a bit of noise, I'm up. Do you know my main issue with Father's Day? No one come up. No one come up. Went downstairs, Josh. Went downstairs. I didn't even look up from my iPad. That's it. Perfect. They're giving you a break. But then they did bring me some nice stuff. They've written me some lovely cards and stuff.

However, the night before, my daughter went, Daddy, how would you describe yourself? So I was like, I think I'm kind, caring. And then everything I said, she wrote down on the card. I love you because you're kind and caring. So you got it. So you've got. Well, yeah, yeah.

The problem I've got Father's Day is whenever there's anything that I'm then doing on Father's Day, I doubly resent it. So like, packing the car to drive home from Cabo, I'm like, well this is fucking Father's Day. As if nothing should come onto my plate. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, especially when you look on Instagram and there's people up there that look like they've been carried around like the fucking first king. I'm like, I walked the dogs and took the bins out, no one looked up for an iPad and I'm like, I walked the dogs into the bins out, no one looked up for an iPad. Yeah, email in with your worst father's days. Yeah. Not like my dad had just died.

Not that. On the day. On the day. As I gave him a card. Paper card. That would win, but let's do the dog shout on the carpet. That's what I've been looking for. My dad shit on the floor, but not because he was unwell, just because he had too much

to drink. Let's submit these stories with the idea that it's gonna be a little bit of a laugh for everyone to share, not for everyone to feel really sad and then go awkward. Exactly. To be fair though, we had a nice hang together and just chill out in the house. It was nice, but it's always a bit overrated. I think a little bit too much importance is important. It doesn't really matter. It is something a card company's invented to sell more cards. So you shouldn't really give a shit too much because it is a horrible day for some people. I did use it to say I'm not gonna do bedtime on an auto

England game. Fair enough. Respect that actually. Yeah, looted bedtime. And I watched while I was watching the game while they cut and come in and say they couldn't sleep. One thing that happened I felt bad was my daughter drew a picture of me. And it was it was just a bit shocking to see I didn't really it didn't look massively like there we go. I've got a picture of me. And it was, it was just a bit shocking to see it didn't really, it didn't look massively like me. I've got a pair of binoculars for Father's Day. Birds in the garden. Such a dad thing. This is the picture that she did of me. It's a bit awkward because

she drew this to me and gave this picture to me and I laughed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, little cheeky elf. What are those Irish things? Leprechaun. Leprechaun. With sort of evil little eyes and glasses. And then... Rosie cheeks. And also there's a friend of ours called Andy who's a redhead and has a beard and it was sort of, it looks a bit more like him, I'd say, than me. Still not. That's very unfair.

But anyways, we were all laughing about it and stuff. And then like, we were all laughing. She was laughing, my youngest. And then like about 10 minutes later, she was sat at the table all upset. Oh no. And she was like, but you laughed at my pitch. I was like, we're all had a laugh and she was laughing my youngest and then like about 10 minutes later she was sat at the table all upset. Oh no. She was like, but you laughed at my pitch. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. I can't be clear enough about this. It was shit. I thought she'd done it as a windup on me. I think she actually, she was just like, I

just couldn't find yellow for your hair. Oh God. And I felt awful. Oh God. I've shown you just, I just not going to put that online just because I don't know if it gets back to her but bless her. I'm so glad I've seen it. I know you've seen it.

Yeah. A little leprechaun boy. Little leprechaun boy. So we did that. Oh, well, a couple of other quick things from school. My daughter come home, the six year old said, we've been learning about Muslims and how they kill all the boys at school. I was like, oh, what? I was like, sorry, who is with Muslims? I was like, hmm, okay. And the respected teacher said,

a little bit of a weird one, she's saying that she's learning about Muslims and they kill all the boys. Then I have like, someone from Reform's come in for a- Yeah, for a little assembly. For a speech. Remember their lines in assembly, yeah. Basically, what it was was she was learning about Moses.

Yeah. She's got Moses and Muslims words confused. They've also been talking in Auri about Muslims, Hindus and all sorts and stuff, different things. Yeah. And in the story of Moses, the king tries to kill the boy. So Moses gets put in a basket and goes down the river. So we have told her that it's the Moses story.

Yeah. Not otherwise. This has been all over the shop, Rob. Yeah, it has been a bit. Why is that? Let's drill down into this. I think one, we're very tired of being very busy with work. We're in a very busy period of film at the moment. I've just come back from Download Festival.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're in your big Ramesh period, aren't you? Yeah, I'm with Ramesh. Big Ramesh period. Yeah, I'm with Ramesh basically the whole of June working. And they're quite intense shit. We had to like rehearse and perform heavy metal and stuff like that. So it's like, and then like, I'm doing UFC next week. Last week I was doing darts and I'm doing,

so it's like just content. I'm getting like doing stunt man training next week. It's like my daughter's day at school. I think I'm very busy. You've been very busy. You and Rose have both, you've been away working a lot. And I think we probably had a little relax yesterday. We took our eye off the ball.

I'm ill as well. I've had a chest infection. Talk to me about this chest infection. Oh, I don't know what to say. You want anti-B? I want anti-Bs, yeah. The older seven, three tablets a day for seven days. We should never really get that instructions. Take a tablet a day, three times a day.

It's like, well, what do I just stick it back up and have it again? The wording's mental. What, a tablet tablet a day three times a day. It's like, well, what do I just stick it back up and have it again? The wording is mental. What a tablet a day three times a day. Yeah, take a tablet a day. Yeah, you just got to shit it out. Get it through. Anyway, no, so I just was feeling really rough. Then went to doctors. They gave me to antibiotics. Yeah, just not

really under weather. I was in a terrible mood last week. But luckily they had kicked in by the time I got to download festivals. Absolutely disgusting by the time we left. That's good. The mud was outrageous. But yeah, I think we're a bit tired. Josh, it's been a very busy period. We need to summer holidays.

I think it is quite tiring with kids in school. Oh, high sports day. Oh, has it happened? Yeah. How did the kids get on? Good. There was some of it had to be held inside due to the weather.

It was Apache weather, but that was fine. Apache? Like the helicopter? Yeah, it was Apache weather, which is hot Apache weather. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It was Apache weather. And then my son, he was there because we picked him up because we were off to Caboo for the weekend. Yeah. And I'm going to be honest with you, Rob, if the best thing happened, he kicked off to such an extent

that we had to leave after my daughter's races. So I'd gone for the father's race. Oh, you've done well there. Did Rose run? No, because we'd gone for the mom's race as well. Oh, right. You've gone for all of it. Oh, that's good. Yeah, you've done a run in that. As I left, I could see the father's race getting ready. Do you know what it is? You turn up and you think, you don't normally wear those trainers. I've seen you at pick-up. They've got their special running ones on.

You don't normally wear assets. Day to day. You don't normally wear shorts and a vest. No one had a vest on, did they? Look, what kind of vest? Not like a running vest, but like a, I'm ripped, so it's hot vest. But you know it's for the race. Well, I can't you just saw me was patchy weather Yeah, but it was hot. It was like that patchy weather where it was humid and then the rain clouds, you know

And it's yeah, I don't know what some other dad's hairy pits get wet Get a sleeve on it's not fucking about my it's a bit of fun I think I've got a bit of a mental block with the dad's race. Why? I think it's my idea of how well it is if you're not fast, isn't it? Are you fast? No, of course not. Do you think I'm fast? No, some little fellas are well quick. I'm all Fox. Jose Dominguez, Aaron Lennon, Aaron Lennon. Sure right, Phillips. Yeah, exactly. Why is it you're having really big and tall and strong and fast, or just little?

What is it that's the difference? Well, they say about Usain Bolt that he was exactly, he was a really bad size for running. He was too tall to be fast. Well, he used to start really slow, took him so long to get up, but then once he was in full stride. Yeah. But it's two ways, basically, big long strides or loads of quick little ones. Yeah. Your little legs can go really fast, can't they? Like a cartoon.

Like a cartoon, like Speedy Gonzales. If a, why can't big legs go really fast, like little legs? Yeah, I don't know. Cause I get it, if you're big and tall and you've got long legs and you're strong, you should be fast. It's all in proportion.

So why can't they go just far as far as small legs? Do you know what I mean? If Sean Wright Phillips, who was super fast, who was a footballer, if you don't know who was five foot five or something I bet he was really fast. He's probably not five foot five, but he felt it because he had all other footballers. When did you touch him? Going to get my hands on him so fast. 1.68 meters, whatever that is. He's the same height as me then. 5'6", alright, yeah, he looked tiny when he played.

Yeah. I think he's bullshitting. Wayne Routledge was quick. Another little fella. Yeah, let's not. Just list small people. Let's not check the height of Wayne Routledge. It hasn't come to checking the height of former Crystal Palace winger Wayne Rownledge.

I've just googled small fast players. And they just sort of give me, they don't tell me why. Who's the shortest person that's ever won the 100 meters in the Olympics? Now that is a Google search. Oh, shortest person. The shortest and tallest Olympics printers. Maurice Green was five foot nine. That's average height, five, nine, isn't it?

Yeah, so that's not that bad. So maybe it's these little fellas at football. These little fellas at football are quick because it's acceleration maybe. Yes, exactly. Actually in a full race, they just get overtaken by like Karl Walker or Usain Bolt. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I'm pitching to you at the school dad's race, 10 yard dash.

Yeah, okay. For the little fellas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. I just hate adults competing in sport. It's my worst thing. You love football. No, I don't like playing it. You've hate adults competing in sport. It's my worst thing. You love football. No, I don't like playing it.

You've just been watching the Euros. No, I hate competing myself. Yeah, but I hate Father Simon if he takes you seriously. That does me a bit. I just can't bear that. It's my worst thing is adults taking amateur sports seriously. Well, that's what I think of soccer. Soccer is actually, I think, hopefully it's getting a bit more silly because sometimes people take it a bit seriously. Well, that's why soccer aid, I think soccer aid actually, I think it's hopefully it's getting a bit more silly because sometimes people take it a bit seriously. Like, I just don't want to be getting screamed at by Mark Wright from TOWIE for not tracking back.

I'm like, fuck off, mate. Yeah. I just want to run around and do a nutmeg. I don't care about tracking back. I don't want to be taking a photo of myself on a treadmill in March saying, starting training for soccer aid. Well, you want to do one to walk in from the pub. Yeah. It's a charity football match guys.

I think they should do it. You can only play if you've had five points. So little about 1pm. I'd watch that, wouldn't you? Yeah, of course. How good at soccer aid this year, slightly different. They're only allowed to play at about five pints and for every £100 donation they have to do a shot. That'd be great, like.

Yeah. Right Josh, should we do some small business? Yeah, why not? Sorry if that's a bit of a load place, we've had a very busy period of time. Oh, my daughter was at a sleepover at school, they do a school sleepover thing. Oh yeah. She loved it. I know there was a concert into the concert. She sang in this choir club revolting children. They were singing that. She had a line in that. So cute watching it.

So much we haven't talked about and what have we talked about? I'd struggled to say. Still not told about Telford. I'll save it Friday morning. Fuck that. Oh, or should we watch it the way to school? Listen to us, the way to work. Oh, Josh is going to do his Telford story. I haven't even got a Telford story. We've got till Friday to think of something.

I just... I just went to Telford. No, no, no, save it! You've set it up nicely now. You just went to Telford. That's how all great Hollywood stories start. Yeah, from Bristol. From Bristol. I've never done that journey.

Yeah, I bought some shorts in Bristol. Whoa, Josh. Easy with the gold. Why did you need shorts? Because I wanted to use the gym and I haven't got my PE kit. PE, they call it that. Did you go to the gym? Yeah. All right, that's good. How is the gym going anyway? Good. I'm enjoying it. I don't like a hotel gym. Nice. Stressful. And it's especially people trying to

talk to you. Oh, God. I've got a small business source associated to the podcast. You know, Scott Bennett? Yeah, I was on the show a couple of times. Yeah, he told us that amazing story about his daughter who had a very rare condition about blood sugar levels and stuff like that. Yeah, go listen to that episode if you haven't because it's an absolute cracker Oh, it's amazing. Also, he came back and just did a more of a straightforward one Anyway, he is now off the back of the feedback from that show and how much people liked it He's doing edging befriends this year Yeah, and he's up there doing his show Stuff, which is his normal standup show, just a straight

standup set. And that's at 8.45 from the 13th to the 25th of August at Just the Tonic, Scott Benneken Booktakers. But he's also doing at 3.15pm in the afternoon, 13th of August to the 25th of August, he's doing a show that he's written about the story that he told on here. Oh, wow. It's called Blood Sugar Baby, where he talks all about the uplifting tale of one family, one rare genetic condition and one hell of a hairy baby. And yeah, so you can go and watch Scott in the afternoon doing a show about the blood sugar baby, his daughter or both, his stand up show Stuff in the

evening, which is more of a straight up stand upup. So, and also, Josh, Radio 4 has commissioned Blood Sugar Baby for one of a special next year. Wow. So this show is going to be on Radio 4. So well done, Scott. He came on and told that story he never told before. So do we get a cut of that then, Rob? Hey, mate, you know that sort of heart wrenching story about the terrible time you had with your daughter with a genetic condition? Yeah, yeah, we own that story now. Yeah, we gave you a bit of a leg up there. We're copywriting that because you said it

first on us. We're Simon Cowell, okay? Yeah. Now we want a bit, but no, we don't get any of that quite rightly. It's all going to Scott. So support Scott, listen to it on Radio 4 or you can go and see it live at the Edinburgh Fringe Blood Sugar Baby 3.45 from the 13th to the 25th of August, and his stand-up show Stuff. There we go. Oh, I'm so glad I'm not going to Edinburgh.

That's a terrible plug for Scott's show. People might be thinking about going there. You don't wanna go. No, people will all go to watch that. That's fine. I mean, do you think as a performer, you don't wanna go? As a performer, I don't wanna go.

That's what I meant. I just imagined doing Edinburgh. As a punter, it's unbelievable. You wander around seeing great comedy. Totally. And you can drink till 5 a.m. punter, it's unbelievable. You wander around seeing great comedy. Totally. And you can drink till 5 a.m. Yeah. Josh's old life.

Which is when Lou starts. It's quite weird. She's got it all wrong for the fridge. She's got it all wrong for the fridge. This is quite exciting, Rob. Go on. Hi, Josh and Rob, big fan of the podcast and loved listening to the audio book.

It's got me through many long trips down the M5 to Devon. Do you think it's Wayne Rooney, Rob? Not sure about that. I actually knew Josh when I was younger. Because I grew up in the same village and love hearing very specific references about Devon life. I'm hoping you could give me a small business shout out for my friend's yoga studio,

Elevate Yoga Studio in central Bristol. Offers over 30 classes every week, including pregnancy yoga and parent and baby classes. It's also the perfect place to have a child free hour all to yourself if that's what you need. For anyone with achy backs from carrying kids or parents who need to restore energy levels

with an hour of calm, they have yoga classes suitable for everyone, including complete beginners. If you're totally exhausted, you are also welcome to just come and lie on the floor for the whole hour without getting interrupted by someone asking you for a snack. You can find out more and book into a class

at www.elevatetogether.co.uk. Use the discount code, parentinghell, all caps. You'll get 15% off any membership. Stay sexy and relatable. Carrie, stroke Caroline Brasley, I remember her. Bristol, originally from Ilesington, yes you are. I knew her as Caroline Brasley, but she's become Carrie. Really, did you hang out with Caroline?

She's similar age? She was at my primary school. An ex-flame? Her brother, Charlie Brasley, was the year below me. Right. So she and she was his younger sister. So she's probably two or three years below me. But my dad built that garage. Fucking hell. Is he a proper builder guy, your dad? He built a garage. He was for a bit. Yeah, he built that garage. PS, nice garage. I've driven part, I doubt

they still live there. But if they do, are you still using your garage? P.S. Ah! We have lost the fucking touch. Let me look, still using your garage. Basically, you might as well, are you still in that house? Yeah. No one's in the house not using the garage.

Exactly. And there's a death trap. P.S. Totally unnecessary, but I found a photo of Josh from old photo albums and thought I'd include it. Not sure if that makes me sound creepy or not. Oh, yes please. Can I see, is it on the- I'll just take a photo of Josh from old photo albums and thought I'd include it. Not sure if that makes me sound creepy or not. Oh, yes, please. Can I see, is it on the...

I'll just take a photo of my screen now, Rob, and then we can put it on our Instagram. Which one are you? The kind of, the one who's in a t-shirt that I'd wear these days. You're in a stripy t-shirt. Josh, why is your head so fucking long? My head.

Your hair is bigger than your head. I think it's the angle of my head because my head's going forward. You look mental. That looks like an actual helmet. It was the 80s. Give me your head's too, it's so big. You've got a big head, don't you? Yeah, I've got a big head. You've got a massive fringe. Is that why you have your hair like that? What?

Have you got a really big fringe? Is that why you have your... What do you mean if I've got a really big fringe? I've got a big fringe, big forehead. No, not really. do you mean if I got a really big fringe? A big fringe, a big forehead? No, not really. There you go. You can see it. That's a fivehead. No, it's not. That's a normal forehead. No, no, that's a big head. You can fucking talk, Rob. Look at you.

You've got a big forehead, I reckon. I think you've got a bigger forehead than me. All right, OK. I'll tell you what. Let's get a tape measure out next time we see each other and we'll find out, won't we? Fucking hell, Friday's app's gonna be good, isn't it? Tail-foot and then that. Oh, we'll get Wayne Routledge on to confirm his high.

And then Bob's your uncle. Pass the BAFTA. You can't get a BAFTA from a podcast. You can if you cover that. I think you'll probably be elevated up. What, really? That episode was so good, we're going to give it a BAFTA. When they got Wayne Routledge on to confirm his high,

I can fucking believe it. Right, then we must have lost some listeners from this one. This has been, I'd say, our shittiest episode. I don't know if it's, I just feel really at sea. Oh, it's fucking awful. I'm bobbing around like a fucking plastic ball. Bit of trivia for you. As you listen to the end of this,

if you're listening, check what time it is on your podcast. We've recorded for an hour or two at this minute. If it says 23 minutes, I wouldn't be surprised. Bye. Mum? What is it? Are we there yet? Hello there, it's me, Harry Hill, with some exciting news. I've got a brand new podcast. It's called Are We There Yet?

And it's the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from A to B. Join me, my son Gary. Hello. Sarah the AI Bot. Hello, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons.

Is it on now, Daddy? Yes, Gary, it is. Yet.